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♪ Come and knock on our door ♪
2
00:00:13,047 --> 00:00:14,357
♪ Come and knock on our door ♪
3
00:00:14,381 --> 00:00:15,814
♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪
4
00:00:15,883 --> 00:00:17,427
♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪
5
00:00:17,451 --> 00:00:20,518
♪ Where the kisses are
hers and hers and his ♪
6
00:00:20,587 --> 00:00:23,856
♪ Three's company too ♪
7
00:00:23,924 --> 00:00:26,903
♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪
♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪
8
00:00:26,927 --> 00:00:29,861
♪ Take a step that is new ♪
♪ Take a step that is new ♪
9
00:00:29,930 --> 00:00:32,931
♪ We've a loveable space
that needs your face ♪
10
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:36,001
♪ Three's company too ♪
11
00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:42,407
♪ You'll see that life is a ball
again Laughter is calling for you ♪
12
00:00:42,476 --> 00:00:45,744
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
13
00:00:45,812 --> 00:00:48,279
♪ Three's company too ♪
14
00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:57,723
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
15
00:00:57,791 --> 00:00:59,891
♪ Three's company too ♪
16
00:01:09,536 --> 00:01:11,003
Oh, hi, Janet.
17
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,638
Hi, Ter.
18
00:01:12,706 --> 00:01:15,441
Oh! Am I glad that's over with.
19
00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:18,010
What, a tough day at
the emergency ward?
20
00:01:18,079 --> 00:01:21,947
Stabbings, shootings,
auto accidents...
21
00:01:22,016 --> 00:01:24,883
Blood all over the place.
22
00:01:24,951 --> 00:01:28,353
I mean, I've never
seen so much gore.
23
00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:29,821
We did so many stitches,
24
00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:32,991
I thought we'd
run out of thread.
25
00:01:33,059 --> 00:01:34,259
And that one guy.
26
00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:37,862
We should have never
asked him to take off his shirt.
27
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:44,336
It was the only thing
holding him together.
28
00:01:44,405 --> 00:01:46,115
Aren't you gonna
eat that sandwich?
29
00:01:46,139 --> 00:01:47,539
I may never eat again.
30
00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:49,174
Great! I am starved!
31
00:01:49,242 --> 00:01:50,642
Hey, ladies!
32
00:01:50,710 --> 00:01:52,343
Hi, Jack. How was
your convention?
33
00:01:52,412 --> 00:01:54,179
Oh, it was fantastic!
34
00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:57,382
The keynote speaker
was a guy just like me.
35
00:01:57,450 --> 00:02:00,318
He started out with
one little coffee shop,
36
00:02:00,387 --> 00:02:02,598
and now he's got restaurants
all over the country.
37
00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:03,633
You know how he did it?
38
00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:06,691
Who cares how he
did it. Is he married?
39
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:09,761
What he said about
being a success,
40
00:02:09,829 --> 00:02:11,073
he said, "You
wanna be a success?
41
00:02:11,097 --> 00:02:12,508
"Well, you gotta
have perseverance.
42
00:02:12,532 --> 00:02:16,101
You gotta work 24 hours
a day with no distractions."
43
00:02:16,170 --> 00:02:17,735
Well, that let's you out.
44
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,838
Yeah. You'd have
to give up girls.
45
00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:22,674
So? I could do that.
46
00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:24,843
Oh, sure, Jack.
For about 2 days.
47
00:02:24,911 --> 00:02:26,022
That long? I'd give him about...
48
00:02:26,046 --> 00:02:27,646
Oh, you two are so cute.
49
00:02:27,714 --> 00:02:30,482
You wanna make a little
roommate wager here?
50
00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:31,850
Yeah!
51
00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:34,586
All right. How
about, uh, 25 bucks
52
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:37,088
that says you cannot stay
away from girls for one week?
53
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,758
You're on.
54
00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:41,593
He'll never make it. Ha ha!
55
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:42,872
Not a chance.
56
00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:43,995
Oh, uh, excuse me.
57
00:02:44,064 --> 00:02:46,564
If that is someone of
the female persuasion,
58
00:02:46,633 --> 00:02:48,500
tell her I'm not
interested. Thank you.
59
00:02:54,307 --> 00:02:55,874
Oh, hi, Mr. Furley.
60
00:02:55,943 --> 00:02:57,720
There's a leak in your shower
61
00:02:57,744 --> 00:03:00,812
and it's dripping down
into my bathroom.
62
00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:05,683
Oh, and you came by to fix it?
63
00:03:05,752 --> 00:03:09,020
No, I just came by
to tell you about it.
64
00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:13,558
I don't care if the whole
building floats away.
65
00:03:13,627 --> 00:03:16,828
Mr. Furley, come on in here.
66
00:03:16,896 --> 00:03:18,641
Gee, is something wrong?
67
00:03:18,665 --> 00:03:20,765
What makes you think
there's something wrong.
68
00:03:20,834 --> 00:03:23,735
Just because I have no future,
69
00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:26,438
no little woman,
70
00:03:26,506 --> 00:03:30,074
no little Furleys
running around...
71
00:03:30,143 --> 00:03:32,577
like my brother Bart!
72
00:03:32,646 --> 00:03:35,681
Life is just passing me by.
73
00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:39,151
Oh, Mr. Furley.
74
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,853
Why, don't you talk like that.
75
00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:43,588
Sit down, Mr. Furley.
76
00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:45,390
Look at me. A 50-year-old...
77
00:03:45,458 --> 00:03:48,794
A 40-year-old man.
78
00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:51,429
And what good have
I done in this world?
79
00:03:51,498 --> 00:03:52,998
I'm useless.
80
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:55,100
I'm not good for
anything or anybody.
81
00:03:55,168 --> 00:03:58,970
Oh, hi, Mr. Furley.
How are things?
82
00:03:59,039 --> 00:04:00,972
Oh, Jack, Mr. Furley's
real depressed.
83
00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:02,240
He feels useless.
84
00:04:02,309 --> 00:04:05,009
That never depressed him before.
85
00:04:06,346 --> 00:04:08,425
Oh, you're a real
big help, Jack.
86
00:04:09,649 --> 00:04:12,250
You wanna get
that, Mr. Sympathy?
87
00:04:12,319 --> 00:04:14,118
Sure. Come in!
88
00:04:14,188 --> 00:04:16,154
Great news, Jacko!
89
00:04:16,223 --> 00:04:19,490
It's singles night at
the Regal Beagle.
90
00:04:19,559 --> 00:04:22,460
Uh... I'm not interested.
91
00:04:22,529 --> 00:04:23,873
If you don't know
that by now, Larry,
92
00:04:23,897 --> 00:04:25,863
you must be out to lunch.
93
00:04:28,835 --> 00:04:31,069
Oh, I feel terrible.
94
00:04:31,138 --> 00:04:33,839
Mr. Fur... Oh,
Hey! I have an idea.
95
00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:37,242
Larry, why don't you
take Mr. Furley with you?
96
00:04:37,310 --> 00:04:39,044
What?
97
00:04:39,113 --> 00:04:41,546
Yeah, and Jack will go
along to keep you company.
98
00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:42,658
I already told
you... Right, Jack?
99
00:04:42,682 --> 00:04:44,493
Aye! Aye! Let go
of the hair! I'll go!
100
00:04:44,517 --> 00:04:45,850
Good. Okay.
101
00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:48,386
Mr. Furley, you just
get off the couch here
102
00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:50,255
and you go downstairs,
103
00:04:50,323 --> 00:04:54,059
and you get yourself
all prettied up, okay?
104
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:55,961
Well, all right.
105
00:04:56,030 --> 00:04:59,130
I'll meet you
downstairs in 5 minutes.
106
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:03,268
Singles night! Whoo!
107
00:05:03,336 --> 00:05:05,381
I'm gonna dab on
some of my new cologne.
108
00:05:05,405 --> 00:05:06,704
It drives women crazy.
109
00:05:06,774 --> 00:05:08,840
Smells like money.
110
00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:15,792
Come on, Jack. Here you go...
111
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,393
Before you have a chance
to change your mind.
112
00:05:17,417 --> 00:05:19,784
Wait a sec. Why can't
you girls take Furley out?
113
00:05:19,853 --> 00:05:21,030
Because. Because.
114
00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:22,665
We're gonna meet some
friends at the movies.
115
00:05:22,689 --> 00:05:24,722
Wait a minute. Don't forget...
116
00:05:24,791 --> 00:05:27,959
Hey, girls, it's singles
night at the Beagle.
117
00:05:28,028 --> 00:05:30,039
Aren't you afraid I'm
gonna cheat on our bet?
118
00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:33,031
Not with Mr. Furley
as your date.
119
00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:37,535
It's gonna be a long night.
120
00:05:42,809 --> 00:05:45,010
♪♪
121
00:05:47,815 --> 00:05:50,648
This will never work.
122
00:05:50,717 --> 00:05:54,252
I'll never meet a
girl Sure you will.
123
00:05:54,321 --> 00:05:57,422
Just watch and learn.
124
00:05:57,490 --> 00:05:59,190
Oh, hi there!
125
00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:01,592
Didn't I meet you
at the Roberts'?
126
00:06:01,661 --> 00:06:04,496
Oh, you're a friend
of Phil Roberts?
127
00:06:04,565 --> 00:06:07,465
Good old Philsy.
We're like that.
128
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:11,403
Yeah, well, any friend of
Phil Roberts can drop dead!
129
00:06:11,472 --> 00:06:15,340
Aah! Oh!
130
00:06:15,409 --> 00:06:17,809
Did you see the
way she kicked him?
131
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:22,380
Yeah. Everybody's
having fun but me.
132
00:06:22,449 --> 00:06:25,884
Hey, there's a
very pretty woman.
133
00:06:25,953 --> 00:06:27,552
Where?
134
00:06:27,620 --> 00:06:29,466
Right over there
at that booth. See?
135
00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:31,923
She's all alone.
136
00:06:33,927 --> 00:06:36,160
Hubba-hubba.
137
00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:43,635
Jack, she's looking this way.
138
00:06:43,703 --> 00:06:45,837
Quick. Smile at her.
139
00:06:51,378 --> 00:06:54,512
She's smiling back at
me. What should I do?
140
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:56,147
Say hello. Hello.
141
00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:57,682
Not to me, to her.
142
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,253
Hello. Hello.
143
00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:05,590
Helloooo.
144
00:07:05,658 --> 00:07:07,358
Hello!
145
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,994
Hello?
146
00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:12,864
Hello! Huh?
147
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:15,867
Oh! Hello!
148
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:18,770
I was just wondering if, uh...
149
00:07:18,838 --> 00:07:20,350
you'd mind if...
150
00:07:20,374 --> 00:07:22,051
Well, the fact is,
I just happened
151
00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:24,287
to be passing by your
immediate area here and I...
152
00:07:24,311 --> 00:07:25,810
Oh, do sit down.
153
00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:27,457
I was wondering
if I could sit down.
154
00:07:27,481 --> 00:07:29,213
Oh, thank you!
155
00:07:29,283 --> 00:07:32,450
I wouldn't mind if I did. Ha ha.
156
00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:42,093
I'm Martha. I'm
Furley... uh, Ralph.
157
00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:44,329
Actually, I'm Ralph and Furley.
158
00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:50,335
Oh, you have the nicest eyes.
159
00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:53,404
Oh.
160
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:57,842
Well, I try to take
good care of 'em.
161
00:07:57,911 --> 00:08:00,957
Like closing them at
night and things like that.
162
00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:03,481
Oh! Ha ha!
163
00:08:03,549 --> 00:08:06,851
Listen... ahem... since
you seem to be alone,
164
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:09,287
I was wondering if you and I...
165
00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:13,591
I mean we... Are you
trying to pick me up?
166
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:15,426
Oh, no! No, no, no!
167
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:19,931
No, I'd never...
Oh, that's too bad.
168
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,200
I was hoping you were.
169
00:08:22,269 --> 00:08:25,169
Huh? You mean you and me?
170
00:08:25,239 --> 00:08:26,504
Oh, yes!
171
00:08:26,573 --> 00:08:29,341
The only thing is, I'm
meeting a girlfriend here and...
172
00:08:29,409 --> 00:08:32,577
Well, I couldn't do anything
without including her.
173
00:08:32,646 --> 00:08:34,946
Uh... well, you wait right here.
174
00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:37,026
I've got just the
friend for your friend.
175
00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:38,650
Great!
176
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,152
Jack, guess what?
177
00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:42,320
You got a date?
178
00:08:42,389 --> 00:08:44,133
I did better than that.
I got one for you, too.
179
00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:48,360
Well, good... Uh,
no, no, Mr. Furley. I...
180
00:08:48,428 --> 00:08:49,461
Come on, Jack.
181
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:50,861
She's meeting a girlfriend here,
182
00:08:50,930 --> 00:08:52,375
and she won't go
out with me unless...
183
00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:53,676
Mr. Furley, I'd
love to help you out,
184
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:57,102
but you know... the way I am.
185
00:09:01,008 --> 00:09:03,441
Well, you can fake it, Jack.
186
00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:06,644
Sometimes you even fool me.
187
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:11,916
I know, but it takes
so much out of me.
188
00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:16,354
Oh, please... please, Jack.
189
00:09:16,422 --> 00:09:18,289
Who else have I got to turn to?
190
00:09:18,357 --> 00:09:21,859
Would you believe I've
been kicked, slapped,
191
00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:24,028
and had an olive
shoved up my nose?
192
00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:28,065
Larry would be
glad to help you, R.F.
193
00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:29,501
Larry, thank you!
194
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,436
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
195
00:09:31,505 --> 00:09:33,238
I won't forget this.
196
00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:34,317
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
197
00:09:34,341 --> 00:09:35,485
I won't forget this either.
198
00:09:35,509 --> 00:09:37,086
Forget what? What
is he talking about?
199
00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:41,613
The girl... The woman that Furley
picked up is expecting a friend.
200
00:09:41,681 --> 00:09:44,148
So this is your
chance to help Furley.
201
00:09:45,351 --> 00:09:46,951
Are you crazy?
202
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,419
Oh, come on, Larry.
203
00:09:48,488 --> 00:09:51,789
So what if your date turns out
to be a little on the mature side.
204
00:09:51,858 --> 00:09:53,435
Forget it. Oh, thanks a lot.
205
00:09:53,459 --> 00:09:57,028
I am deeply
disappointed in you, Larry.
206
00:09:57,097 --> 00:10:00,131
I mean, all I ask is
for one lousy favor.
207
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,367
You're disappointed in me, huh?
208
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:05,670
Well, let me tell you
something, chum.
209
00:10:06,739 --> 00:10:12,243
I'm... deeply
disappointed in myself.
210
00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:16,781
I mean, if I can't do one
little favor for my friend.
211
00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:17,882
You mean you'll do it?
212
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:20,584
For you I shall make
the supreme sacrifice.
213
00:10:20,653 --> 00:10:24,655
After all, what are friends for?
214
00:10:24,724 --> 00:10:26,524
Excuse me. Thank you.
215
00:10:45,411 --> 00:10:48,880
Hello again! It's
so nice to see you!
216
00:10:48,948 --> 00:10:50,715
Hi there. How have you been?
217
00:10:50,783 --> 00:10:52,495
Just fine. How are
things at home?
218
00:10:52,519 --> 00:10:54,063
Fine, thank you.
Everything all right?
219
00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:55,020
Great.
220
00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:56,288
Excuse me. Huh?
221
00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:00,091
Do you know her?
222
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:03,461
Oh, well, yeah, Larry.
I... I took her out once.
223
00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:05,630
Why only once?
Believe me, Larry,
224
00:11:05,699 --> 00:11:08,733
she's the nicest girl
you'd ever wanna meet.
225
00:11:08,802 --> 00:11:11,302
So that's why.
226
00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:14,773
Besides, I didn't really
want to get married.
227
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:16,407
She wants to get married?
228
00:11:16,476 --> 00:11:18,187
Well, yeah. Her
father's a minister.
229
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:20,211
He said he do it for free.
230
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:23,114
Ow! Ow! My back!
My back just went out!
231
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,226
Poor Lar.
232
00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:26,450
Nah! It's an old
basketball injury.
233
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,219
It kept me from turning pro.
234
00:11:28,288 --> 00:11:29,654
You're gonna have to take over.
235
00:11:29,723 --> 00:11:31,803
Get someone to look at that..
236
00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:36,228
What happened to Larry?
237
00:11:36,296 --> 00:11:38,929
Uh, he had a wedding to miss.
238
00:11:38,998 --> 00:11:41,799
Well, Jack whether you
like it or not, you're stuck.
239
00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:44,601
Oh, shuckums. Am I?
240
00:11:46,106 --> 00:11:48,139
Act like a man.
She'll never know.
241
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:01,318
Hi again.
242
00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:03,620
Hi!
243
00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:07,324
Jack, this is Martha, my date.
244
00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:08,874
Hi, Jack. Hi.
245
00:12:08,928 --> 00:12:11,696
And I'm yours.
246
00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:13,731
Are ya?
247
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,733
Nice to meet you.
248
00:12:15,802 --> 00:12:18,503
Well, now what?
249
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:21,238
Uh, weren't you
gonna take Martha
250
00:12:21,308 --> 00:12:23,674
back to your apartment
for a little drink?
251
00:12:23,744 --> 00:12:24,976
I was?
252
00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:26,310
Oh, yeah!
253
00:12:26,379 --> 00:12:28,758
Why don't we all go back
to my apartment for a drink?
254
00:12:28,782 --> 00:12:30,681
All?
255
00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:32,650
Sounds like fun to me.
256
00:12:32,719 --> 00:12:33,651
Yeah!
257
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:35,286
But Mr. Furley...
258
00:12:35,354 --> 00:12:37,714
Ellen, do you play checkers?
259
00:12:40,227 --> 00:12:41,659
Well... yes.
260
00:12:41,728 --> 00:12:44,009
See, Jack? You're all set?
261
00:12:44,063 --> 00:12:46,163
Yeah!
262
00:12:46,232 --> 00:12:48,332
Hubba-hubba.
263
00:12:51,404 --> 00:12:53,037
There you go.
264
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,939
Oh!
265
00:12:55,007 --> 00:12:58,509
Your move, Jack.
266
00:12:58,578 --> 00:13:01,445
I don't think I can make it.
267
00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:06,116
Oh, you don't have
to be shy with me.
268
00:13:06,185 --> 00:13:08,886
Well, maybe with your help,
269
00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:10,588
I can overcome it.
270
00:13:10,657 --> 00:13:14,225
Oh, I'll help all I can.
271
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:15,893
Jack.
272
00:13:19,699 --> 00:13:21,498
Excuse me.
273
00:13:21,568 --> 00:13:23,835
Excuse me.
274
00:13:23,904 --> 00:13:25,803
How you doing?
275
00:13:25,872 --> 00:13:27,438
Oh, Mr. Furley, it was awful.
276
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:29,374
I had to touch her!
277
00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:35,846
Well, nobody said it
was gonna be easy.
278
00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:37,726
Say, you know what
this party needs?
279
00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:39,584
A little soft music.
280
00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:40,918
Ooh! Right!
281
00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:43,087
Ooh, come on, let's dance.
282
00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:45,001
Oh, this is... excuse me.
283
00:13:46,092 --> 00:13:49,093
Hey, Jack, she's not
gonna bite. There!
284
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:51,930
Oh, my God!
285
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:53,597
That's better.
286
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:58,303
Listen, it's so nice out.
287
00:13:58,371 --> 00:13:59,637
Why don't we take a walk?
288
00:13:59,706 --> 00:14:01,940
Sure. Where?
289
00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:04,542
Up to my apartment.
290
00:14:12,918 --> 00:14:17,721
To a night that will live
in our memory... forever.
291
00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:21,292
Oh, Ralph, you're so romantic.
292
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:22,481
Heh!
293
00:14:26,633 --> 00:14:28,399
Smooth.
294
00:14:31,171 --> 00:14:33,971
You ought to try
some of this, Jack.
295
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:35,773
Jack?
296
00:14:35,842 --> 00:14:36,852
Where'd they go?
297
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:39,577
I guess they just stepped out.
298
00:14:39,646 --> 00:14:45,783
So, here we are, all alone.
299
00:14:45,852 --> 00:14:47,651
Yeah. Alone?
300
00:14:49,822 --> 00:14:51,689
Well, are you all right?
301
00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:53,625
Oh, yeah, sure.
302
00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:54,693
Well, good.
303
00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:56,160
Come sit down.
304
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:57,995
Okay.
305
00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:06,838
No! Sit over here.
306
00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:14,811
Is something wrong?
307
00:15:16,482 --> 00:15:21,953
Well, this is gonna come
as a big surprise to you,
308
00:15:22,021 --> 00:15:25,189
but I'm not the ladies'
man everybody thinks I am.
309
00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:27,524
No!
310
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:30,494
I knew you'd be surprised.
311
00:15:30,563 --> 00:15:35,966
The fact is, I don't have
much luck with women.
312
00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:39,770
Oh, Ralph.
313
00:15:39,839 --> 00:15:41,572
Kiss me!
314
00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:42,641
What?
315
00:15:45,011 --> 00:15:46,877
Kiss me!
316
00:16:04,063 --> 00:16:06,230
It's no good!
317
00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:09,533
Give me a chance! It takes
me a while to get started!
318
00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:12,803
Oh, Ralph, it's not you.
319
00:16:12,872 --> 00:16:14,004
It's Howard.
320
00:16:14,074 --> 00:16:15,973
Howard?
321
00:16:16,042 --> 00:16:19,410
Oh, we've been going
together for 5 years,
322
00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:21,178
and then we had a fight,
323
00:16:21,247 --> 00:16:23,548
and I haven't seen him since.
324
00:16:23,616 --> 00:16:26,183
Well, why don't you
just forget about him?
325
00:16:26,252 --> 00:16:30,187
I... I can't!
326
00:16:30,256 --> 00:16:32,557
Oh, Ralph!
327
00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:35,526
What am I gonna do?
328
00:16:35,595 --> 00:16:38,328
Hey, hey, come on now, Martha.
329
00:16:38,397 --> 00:16:40,442
Oh, I can't help it.
330
00:16:40,466 --> 00:16:45,135
Martha, Mar...
Martha, Mar... stop it!
331
00:16:45,204 --> 00:16:46,336
Shame on you!
332
00:16:46,405 --> 00:16:47,337
What?
333
00:16:47,406 --> 00:16:49,206
Just because
of a little quarrel,
334
00:16:49,275 --> 00:16:53,978
you're gonna let 5 years of love
and understanding go down the drain?
335
00:16:54,047 --> 00:16:55,746
Well, what can I do?
336
00:16:55,815 --> 00:16:57,014
You can call him!
337
00:16:57,083 --> 00:16:58,360
Oh, no, no. I couldn't.
338
00:16:58,384 --> 00:16:59,817
Yes, you can. Here.
339
00:16:59,886 --> 00:17:00,818
Oh! Oh!
340
00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:01,819
Call!
341
00:17:01,888 --> 00:17:03,032
Oh, I don't... I... I...
342
00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:04,789
Come on, go ahead! Dial!
343
00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:07,091
But it's long distance.
344
00:17:07,159 --> 00:17:09,093
Long distance?
345
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:15,099
Oh, what the hell! Go
ahead! Dial, woman!
346
00:17:15,167 --> 00:17:17,001
Yes, Ralph.
347
00:17:18,104 --> 00:17:20,972
I think you're wonderful.
348
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,007
Mwah!
349
00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:31,815
Mmm! Wonderful!
350
00:17:34,420 --> 00:17:37,421
Mmm! Full-bodied!
351
00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:39,771
Yes, I noticed. Excuse me.
352
00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:44,828
Well, what do you
want to do now?
353
00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:48,165
Well, I have 8 or 9 ideas.
354
00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:53,910
Oh, no, there's nothing in your
eye, Miss Simmons. Nothing.
355
00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:58,242
Well, hi, girls.
356
00:17:58,311 --> 00:18:00,611
Hi, Jack. Hi, Jack.
357
00:18:01,780 --> 00:18:05,216
Ellen, these are my 2 roommates,
358
00:18:05,284 --> 00:18:06,583
Terri and Janet.
359
00:18:06,652 --> 00:18:07,918
Roommates? Yeah.
360
00:18:07,987 --> 00:18:14,158
Terri's the pretty blonde
and Janet is the other one.
361
00:18:16,195 --> 00:18:21,765
Jack, honey, could we see you
out in the kitchen for just a minute?
362
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:25,769
Yes. We want to talk about $25.
363
00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:27,838
Would you excuse us, Ellen?
364
00:18:28,908 --> 00:18:29,908
Aah!
365
00:18:31,177 --> 00:18:32,543
Ahem!
366
00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:34,378
Jack, what is going on here?
367
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:35,590
Nothing. They're
very nice girls.
368
00:18:35,614 --> 00:18:38,794
They just have some
serious financial problems.
369
00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:39,818
Excuse me.
370
00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:45,790
Pay up, Casanova. We caught
you out there with that girl.
371
00:18:45,858 --> 00:18:46,968
Ow!
372
00:18:46,992 --> 00:18:51,529
That was no girl. That's
a business woman.
373
00:18:51,597 --> 00:18:54,532
Jack, you mean you
went out and picked up a...
374
00:18:54,601 --> 00:18:56,066
Oh, Janet!
375
00:18:58,171 --> 00:19:02,507
Come on, now. Her business
happens to be restaurant management.
376
00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:03,508
Ha!
377
00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:05,510
Terri, I met her
at the convention
378
00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:08,056
and I asked her politely if she
would like to come home with me
379
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:09,480
and teach me things.
380
00:19:09,549 --> 00:19:10,915
Sure.
381
00:19:12,218 --> 00:19:14,185
At this hour of the night?
382
00:19:14,254 --> 00:19:17,321
This was the only
free time she had!
383
00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:20,024
She's a very busy
business woman.
384
00:19:20,093 --> 00:19:21,971
What about Mr. Furley?
Now, you were supposed to...
385
00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:23,538
Mr. Furley is fine. He's
downstairs right now
386
00:19:23,562 --> 00:19:26,029
with a very lovely
woman named Martha.
387
00:19:26,099 --> 00:19:28,177
Oh? Yeah. So if
you'll excuse me,
388
00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:29,211
I'd like to get
back to business.
389
00:19:29,235 --> 00:19:30,267
Thank you.
390
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:33,403
Business, huh?
391
00:19:33,472 --> 00:19:35,072
Yeah.
392
00:19:35,141 --> 00:19:38,609
Listen, Ellen, we're
gonna have to le...
393
00:19:42,248 --> 00:19:44,515
Hi again. Hi again.
394
00:19:46,318 --> 00:19:48,497
You know, Jack
was just telling us
395
00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:51,066
how much you knew
about restaurants. Yeah.
396
00:19:51,090 --> 00:19:52,689
So we wanted to
ask you a question.
397
00:19:52,759 --> 00:19:54,058
Uh, wait, Janet.
398
00:19:54,126 --> 00:19:56,060
If you had a small,
medium-priced restaurant
399
00:19:56,129 --> 00:19:57,895
that seated 36 people
400
00:19:57,964 --> 00:20:00,898
with a monthly
overhead of, say, $2,000,
401
00:20:00,967 --> 00:20:02,800
how many people
would you have to serve
402
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:05,703
before you could show a profit?
403
00:20:05,771 --> 00:20:08,105
Listen, why don't
I take you home
404
00:20:08,174 --> 00:20:09,418
so you can look
on your computer.
405
00:20:09,442 --> 00:20:11,509
Well, now, if costs
include rent, utilities,
406
00:20:11,577 --> 00:20:13,010
and all the salaried employees,
407
00:20:13,078 --> 00:20:15,212
with the average
meal costing about $8,
408
00:20:15,281 --> 00:20:18,916
you'd need to serve between
240 and 265 servings,
409
00:20:18,985 --> 00:20:20,518
depending on
whether wine is served,
410
00:20:20,586 --> 00:20:23,287
which would add a
value of 5 per serving.
411
00:20:32,431 --> 00:20:37,768
Yeah. Well, that's
what we thought, too.
412
00:20:37,836 --> 00:20:40,671
Is there anything else
you'd like to know?
413
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:47,511
No. No, uh...
414
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:48,857
We better be hitting the rack.
415
00:20:48,881 --> 00:20:51,314
I'm really tired. It
was a long movie.
416
00:20:51,383 --> 00:20:52,683
Oh, yes. Me, too.
417
00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:54,417
I can hardly keep my eyes open.
418
00:20:54,486 --> 00:20:55,764
Good night, Jack!
419
00:20:55,788 --> 00:20:57,554
Good night, everyone!
420
00:20:57,623 --> 00:20:59,589
Good night, girls.
421
00:20:59,659 --> 00:21:01,291
Oh!
422
00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:04,339
How did you know so
much about restaurants?
423
00:21:04,363 --> 00:21:05,595
Oh, I work for a CPA
424
00:21:05,664 --> 00:21:07,597
and we have several
restaurants as clients.
425
00:21:07,666 --> 00:21:08,899
Oh!
426
00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:11,568
Jack, what is with those girls?
427
00:21:11,637 --> 00:21:15,272
Yeah, well, they're
tremendously nosy...
428
00:21:15,341 --> 00:21:17,501
Especially the little dark one.
429
00:21:22,514 --> 00:21:27,751
Well, now, where were we?
430
00:21:27,820 --> 00:21:31,822
I think we were
right about here.
431
00:21:31,890 --> 00:21:34,090
Ha ha ha ha ha!
432
00:21:34,159 --> 00:21:35,559
Aah!
433
00:21:45,104 --> 00:21:46,603
Whoo!
434
00:21:46,672 --> 00:21:47,771
Gotcha!
435
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:50,074
She is nosy!
436
00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:51,709
Did it work?
437
00:21:51,777 --> 00:21:52,888
We caught him red-handed!
438
00:21:52,912 --> 00:21:53,844
Ha ha ha!
439
00:21:53,913 --> 00:21:55,746
Cough it up, Jack!
440
00:21:55,815 --> 00:21:58,115
This is not what
you're seeing. I was...
441
00:21:58,184 --> 00:22:00,428
Miss Simmons here was
just demonstrating to me
442
00:22:00,452 --> 00:22:02,130
the problems of
sexual harassment
443
00:22:02,154 --> 00:22:04,321
that she faces
day in and day out
444
00:22:04,389 --> 00:22:07,758
on her... oh, what
the heck. Here.
445
00:22:07,827 --> 00:22:08,827
Whoo!
446
00:22:13,399 --> 00:22:17,735
OK, Jack, you can
drop the act now.
447
00:22:17,804 --> 00:22:20,403
Why, Mr. Furley,
what brings you here?
448
00:22:22,408 --> 00:22:25,554
I just had to come up and
tell you how great I feel.
449
00:22:25,578 --> 00:22:27,745
You mean, you and Martha...
450
00:22:27,814 --> 00:22:29,291
That's right! I did it!
451
00:22:29,315 --> 00:22:32,516
Mr. Furley!
452
00:22:32,585 --> 00:22:35,619
I got her and her boyfriend
back together again.
453
00:22:35,688 --> 00:22:36,987
You what?
454
00:22:37,056 --> 00:22:40,558
Yeah. See, she was so unhappy
because they'd broken up,
455
00:22:40,626 --> 00:22:42,426
so I made her call him.
456
00:22:42,494 --> 00:22:45,729
Mr. Furley, what a
wonderful thing for you to do.
457
00:22:45,797 --> 00:22:49,433
Yeah, it sure is
great to be needed.
458
00:22:49,502 --> 00:22:52,080
Well, if you'll excuse me, I've
got to be getting home now.
459
00:22:52,104 --> 00:22:53,303
I'll take you.
460
00:22:53,372 --> 00:22:55,350
No, no, no, no.
I'll take her home.
461
00:22:55,374 --> 00:22:56,507
Oh, Mr. Furley...
462
00:22:56,575 --> 00:22:58,820
Jack, after what you've
been through tonight,
463
00:22:58,844 --> 00:23:00,155
it's the least I can do.
464
00:23:00,179 --> 00:23:01,111
Oh, no, Mr. Furley...
465
00:23:01,180 --> 00:23:03,100
And I will explain to her
466
00:23:03,149 --> 00:23:05,861
what a great sacrifice
you made tonight.
467
00:23:05,885 --> 00:23:07,028
No, no! Don't do that.
468
00:23:07,052 --> 00:23:08,263
No, Mr. Furley. Could I speak...
469
00:23:08,287 --> 00:23:10,220
Mr. Furley. Hey,
just one second.
470
00:23:10,289 --> 00:23:15,726
Mr. Furley, don't...
Mr. Fur... uuh!
471
00:23:15,795 --> 00:23:17,761
Poor Jack. You lost your girl.
472
00:23:20,365 --> 00:23:22,144
And your 25 bucks.
473
00:23:22,168 --> 00:23:24,248
Give me that. Ha!
474
00:23:35,948 --> 00:23:37,547
Yeah!
475
00:23:37,616 --> 00:23:39,427
Jack, do you still have
the keys to my car?
476
00:23:39,451 --> 00:23:40,383
Here.
477
00:23:40,452 --> 00:23:41,719
Oh, thanks.
478
00:23:41,788 --> 00:23:44,600
What's the matter?
You don't look too happy.
479
00:23:44,624 --> 00:23:47,190
I had a miserable
time tonight. Really?
480
00:23:47,259 --> 00:23:50,661
Yeah. And it serves me right,
after the way I conned you.
481
00:23:50,730 --> 00:23:52,496
You conned me?
482
00:23:52,565 --> 00:23:54,364
About Ellen.
483
00:23:54,433 --> 00:23:56,499
She's really a very warm,
484
00:23:56,569 --> 00:24:00,403
loving, and tremendously
eager-to-please girl,
485
00:24:00,472 --> 00:24:01,705
if you know what I mean.
486
00:24:01,774 --> 00:24:04,407
No kidding. Well, forget it.
487
00:24:04,476 --> 00:24:06,488
Those things happen. See ya.
488
00:24:06,512 --> 00:24:09,313
Hey, wait a minute. Where
are you driving this late at night?
489
00:24:09,381 --> 00:24:11,748
Oh, Mr. Furley's
car wouldn't start,
490
00:24:11,818 --> 00:24:13,395
so he asked me
to take Ellen home.
491
00:24:13,419 --> 00:24:14,718
Ha! Ha ha ha ha!
492
00:24:22,795 --> 00:24:25,755
Closed-Captioned by J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
31507
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