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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,078 --> 00:00:13,123 ♪ come and knock on our door ♪ 2 00:00:13,147 --> 00:00:14,624 ♪ come and knock on our door ♪ 3 00:00:14,648 --> 00:00:16,126 ♪ we've been waiting for you ♪ 4 00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:17,760 ♪ we've been waiting for you ♪ 5 00:00:17,784 --> 00:00:20,830 ♪ where the kisses are Hers and hers and his ♪ 6 00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,487 ♪ three's company too ♪ 7 00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:25,068 ♪ come and dance on our floor ♪ 8 00:00:25,092 --> 00:00:27,037 ♪ come and dance on our floor ♪ 9 00:00:27,061 --> 00:00:28,371 ♪ take a step that is new ♪ 10 00:00:28,395 --> 00:00:30,073 ♪ take a step that is new ♪ 11 00:00:30,097 --> 00:00:32,809 ♪ we've a loveable space That needs your face ♪ 12 00:00:32,833 --> 00:00:34,733 ♪ three's company too ♪ 13 00:00:41,942 --> 00:00:43,453 ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪ 14 00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:45,088 ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪ 15 00:00:45,112 --> 00:00:46,845 ♪ three is company too ♪ 16 00:00:54,155 --> 00:00:55,698 ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪ 17 00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:57,267 ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪ 18 00:00:57,291 --> 00:00:59,324 ♪ three is company too. ♪ 19 00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:07,699 See you later. 20 00:01:09,837 --> 00:01:11,881 There you go. 21 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:15,485 Hey, this is a real friendly Place you got here. 22 00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:18,622 - oh, yeah. - I'm glad we stopped in. 23 00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:27,263 You keep starin' at Her, and the next girl 24 00:01:27,287 --> 00:01:29,421 You're gonna be Lookin' at is a nurse. 25 00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:33,837 Sorry. 26 00:01:33,861 --> 00:01:36,272 It's okay. 27 00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:41,033 Oh, pal, you happen To have any beer nuts? 28 00:01:47,307 --> 00:01:48,952 Sorry I'm late, jack. 29 00:01:48,976 --> 00:01:51,054 Check out the little Number parked at the bar, 30 00:01:51,078 --> 00:01:52,922 The one with the Body that won't quit. 31 00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:55,558 Yeah, she's also got a Mean-looking boyfriend 32 00:01:55,582 --> 00:01:57,060 With a temper that won't quit. 33 00:01:57,084 --> 00:02:00,151 You shoulda seen what He did to the bartender... 34 00:02:02,389 --> 00:02:05,301 - don't do that. - do what? 35 00:02:05,325 --> 00:02:07,637 - look at my girl. - no, but I... 36 00:02:07,661 --> 00:02:10,774 - you're doin' it again. - what if he was? It's a free country. 37 00:02:10,798 --> 00:02:12,876 - hey! - please, lar. 38 00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:15,311 Sir, excuse me, but I don't have 39 00:02:15,335 --> 00:02:17,948 The slightest interest In your girlfriend. 40 00:02:17,972 --> 00:02:20,851 Oh? 41 00:02:20,875 --> 00:02:22,986 What's the matter with her? 42 00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:25,288 Nothing, nothing. 43 00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:27,023 From what I can Remember, she's very lovely, 44 00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:30,327 With her blond hair flowing Down her neck and her... 45 00:02:30,351 --> 00:02:33,418 - peekaboo sweater. - peekaboo sweat... Larry. 46 00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:40,303 You know what? I'm gettin' A little tired of both of you. 47 00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:42,038 - we were just leaving. - that's good. 48 00:02:42,062 --> 00:02:45,542 Bye! 49 00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:49,612 By the way, do you happen to Know where the little boys' room is? 50 00:02:49,636 --> 00:02:53,249 - little boys' room? - huh? 51 00:02:53,273 --> 00:02:56,019 It's right over to your left, right There, next to the little girls' room. 52 00:02:56,043 --> 00:02:59,355 - hey, thanks. - no problem, no problem. 53 00:02:59,379 --> 00:03:02,425 - by the way, you don't scare... - are you crazy?! 54 00:03:02,449 --> 00:03:04,427 Jack, jack, come On, it's an act. 55 00:03:04,451 --> 00:03:06,529 That type of guy is all talk. 56 00:03:06,553 --> 00:03:09,465 Yeah, and with your help, I could Be talked right into the hospital. 57 00:03:09,489 --> 00:03:12,068 Excuse me. May I sit down? 58 00:03:12,092 --> 00:03:15,371 - here? I'm sorry. - oh, sure. 59 00:03:15,395 --> 00:03:18,942 I've come over to Apologize for max's behavior. 60 00:03:18,966 --> 00:03:20,744 - I'm april. - I'm larry. 61 00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:22,946 - I'm leaving. - relax. 62 00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:25,815 April, well, you're A lovely month. 63 00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:29,352 Yeah, especially the way You overflow into may. 64 00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:31,721 Why don't you give Me your phone number? 65 00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:33,256 Perhaps we could get together. 66 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:36,159 That max, sometimes He makes me so mad. 67 00:03:36,183 --> 00:03:39,329 Don't have a phone? Okay, I'll give you my number instead. 68 00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:41,230 I wish max were more like you. 69 00:03:41,254 --> 00:03:43,233 You're very understanding. 70 00:03:43,257 --> 00:03:45,402 I can tell by Looking at your face. 71 00:03:45,426 --> 00:03:48,371 Uh, no, I'm not. Look Closer. It's hard, very hard. 72 00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:50,807 You know, if someone Makes a pass at him, 73 00:03:50,831 --> 00:03:52,576 And I'm supposed to ignore it. 74 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,211 Someone just looks at me... 75 00:03:54,235 --> 00:03:56,646 And max puts them In the hospital? 76 00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:59,082 See? You do understand. 77 00:03:59,106 --> 00:04:01,684 I sure do. Would you Excuse us? Come on, larry. 78 00:04:01,708 --> 00:04:04,320 Listen, if I were you, I would talk to max 79 00:04:04,344 --> 00:04:06,623 To tell him to try to Control his temper. 80 00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:09,326 - come on, larry, let's go. - here you go, darling. Call collect. 81 00:04:09,350 --> 00:04:12,195 Would you quit that? What if max... Max! 82 00:04:12,219 --> 00:04:14,597 Hey, now, what is this? 83 00:04:14,621 --> 00:04:17,989 - uh... - I don't know, it's not mine. 84 00:04:19,526 --> 00:04:21,537 It looks like a Phone number to me. 85 00:04:21,561 --> 00:04:23,406 It does? Yeah, it does. 86 00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:26,075 - but it's not. It's a prescription. - a what? 87 00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,643 Yes, I'm supposed To take one of these 88 00:04:27,667 --> 00:04:29,301 Every four hours And go directly to bed. 89 00:04:30,737 --> 00:04:32,638 Come on, larry. It's late. 90 00:04:35,375 --> 00:04:37,553 You know, you're lucky, pal. 91 00:04:37,577 --> 00:04:39,556 My buddy let you Off easy this time. 92 00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:44,248 You... Yeah, I'm all right. 93 00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:50,332 Cindy, you comin' to bed? 94 00:04:50,356 --> 00:04:52,802 Yeah, as soon as I finish Balancing my checkbook. 95 00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:55,371 - okay. - janet, will you help me? 96 00:04:55,395 --> 00:04:57,874 Oh, cindy, you're asking The wrong person. 97 00:04:57,898 --> 00:05:00,109 My bank offered me a clock radio 98 00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:02,266 If I take my account Somewhere else. 99 00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:04,981 - hey, hi, jack. - hi. 100 00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:07,584 Hi, jack. You and larry Have fun at the beagle? 101 00:05:07,608 --> 00:05:09,352 Well, if you call Being intimidated, 102 00:05:09,376 --> 00:05:12,421 Threatened, and nearly Beaten up "Fun," yeah. 103 00:05:12,445 --> 00:05:15,224 Well, jack, nobody ever Said picking up girls was easy. 104 00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:18,527 Janet, will you Quit kidding around? 105 00:05:18,551 --> 00:05:21,630 Some nut thought I was Trying to steal his girlfriend. 106 00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:23,366 - were you? - no. 107 00:05:23,390 --> 00:05:25,802 Of course, I wouldn't mind Borrowing her a couple hours. 108 00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:30,540 - jack. - this crazy guy started To get tough with me. 109 00:05:30,564 --> 00:05:34,377 I had to straighten him out. 110 00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:36,279 so what'd you do? 111 00:05:36,303 --> 00:05:38,180 I did what any guy would do. 112 00:05:38,204 --> 00:05:41,784 I looked him right in the eyes, Flexed my muscles, you know. 113 00:05:41,808 --> 00:05:45,388 April! What are You... Get in here. 114 00:05:45,412 --> 00:05:47,056 What are you doing here? 115 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,425 The bartender told Me where you live. 116 00:05:49,449 --> 00:05:52,061 Why, that... That's So thoughtful. 117 00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:56,031 Jack, I told max what you said About controlling his temper. 118 00:05:56,055 --> 00:05:58,601 - what did he say? - he hit the bartender. 119 00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:01,237 - he hit the bartend... - gosh, jack. 120 00:06:01,261 --> 00:06:03,272 Looks like you're gonna have To flex those muscles again. 121 00:06:03,296 --> 00:06:07,009 Yeah... April, these are my Two roommates, cindy and janet. 122 00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:09,011 - hello. - where's max now? 123 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:11,747 I don't know, but he plans On being at the beagle 124 00:06:11,771 --> 00:06:13,249 Every night until He catches you. 125 00:06:13,273 --> 00:06:16,352 Well, that doesn't Scare me one bit. 126 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,687 It doesn't? 127 00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:20,390 No, I got enough beer in The fridge to last a month. 128 00:06:20,414 --> 00:06:24,127 open up in there! 129 00:06:24,151 --> 00:06:25,861 It's max. Quick, hide! 130 00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:28,597 Hide! Not you, cindy. 131 00:06:28,621 --> 00:06:30,566 April, come on! 132 00:06:30,590 --> 00:06:33,936 open up this door! 133 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,839 do you hear me? 134 00:06:35,863 --> 00:06:37,507 Hello. 135 00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:39,676 Hey, max, what's goin' on? How ya doin'? What's happening? 136 00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:41,845 All right. Now where is she? 137 00:06:41,869 --> 00:06:43,813 - who? - you know who... April. 138 00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:49,151 Max, listen, with two Beautiful girls like this 139 00:06:49,175 --> 00:06:51,554 That I'm living with, what Would I want with a third? 140 00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:54,257 Yeah, what would jack Want with another girl? 141 00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:58,283 Yeah, since he can't get Anywhere with either one of us. 142 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:02,064 All right, now, what's in there? 143 00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:03,666 A kitchen, your basic kitchen. 144 00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:07,770 Stove, refrigerator, table, Cups, saucers, you know. 145 00:07:07,794 --> 00:07:10,139 Quick, I gotta get you Outta here. Come on. 146 00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:12,008 I told you there Wasn't anybody in here! 147 00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:14,277 you should've Listened to me earlier. 148 00:07:14,301 --> 00:07:16,712 - just get outta the way. - oh, sure. 149 00:07:16,736 --> 00:07:18,314 Well, thanks for Stopping by. Bye-bye. 150 00:07:18,338 --> 00:07:20,716 No, I ain't done lookin' Around yet, jackie. 151 00:07:20,740 --> 00:07:22,240 Uh... 152 00:07:26,814 --> 00:07:29,525 Jack. April? 153 00:07:29,549 --> 00:07:32,695 Well, glad to see you Finally came to your senses 154 00:07:32,719 --> 00:07:35,731 And dumped that Ridiculous goon you... 155 00:07:35,755 --> 00:07:38,334 Gee, I wish I could stay, 156 00:07:38,358 --> 00:07:40,870 But the monks like us back To the monastery by 8:00. 157 00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:42,605 In spiritus, exitus! 158 00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:45,207 You know what? 159 00:07:45,231 --> 00:07:50,046 I just hope plastic surgery can Restore you to your former self. 160 00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:52,837 Don't you touch him! 161 00:07:54,774 --> 00:07:57,319 Thanks, I don't want your Protection, cindy. Thanks, anyway. 162 00:07:57,343 --> 00:07:59,755 - cindy, get over here. - all right, you. 163 00:07:59,779 --> 00:08:01,824 - lemme explain. - what? Explain what? 164 00:08:01,848 --> 00:08:04,293 You lured my girlfriend Back to your apartment 165 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,796 To add to your Collection of cupcakes? 166 00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:07,931 Cupcakes? 167 00:08:07,955 --> 00:08:11,801 I should warn You, I know karate. 168 00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:19,464 Hyah! Yah! 169 00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:24,436 I'm not up to that yet. 170 00:08:25,973 --> 00:08:29,285 Hang on a second, You big bully... Aah! 171 00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:33,322 Max, stop! He was Only trying to help. 172 00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:36,225 Can't you see there's Nothing going on between us? 173 00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:39,695 And even if there were, so what? 174 00:08:39,719 --> 00:08:41,764 You don't own me. 175 00:08:41,788 --> 00:08:46,936 If I wanna be here with Him, that's my business. 176 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:49,072 If I wanna put my Arms around him, 177 00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:51,273 That's my business. 178 00:08:51,297 --> 00:08:53,764 And if I wanna kiss him... 179 00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:57,613 That's my business, too! 180 00:08:57,637 --> 00:09:00,683 I guess I'm out Of business, huh? 181 00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:04,020 - that's right! - now I lay me down to sleep... 182 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:07,924 - max, your jealousy's Driving me crazy! - april, please! 183 00:09:07,948 --> 00:09:11,995 I can only handle One fight at a time. 184 00:09:12,019 --> 00:09:14,585 All right, you. I... 185 00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:23,472 Where'd he go? 186 00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:26,276 Who? 187 00:09:26,300 --> 00:09:28,677 You know who. 188 00:09:28,701 --> 00:09:31,681 Oh, him who. 189 00:09:31,705 --> 00:09:35,218 Yeah, the who that I'm Gonna turn into a what. 190 00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:37,753 Yeah... Hey, listen. 191 00:09:37,777 --> 00:09:39,888 If you lay one finger on him, 192 00:09:39,912 --> 00:09:41,925 I will personally Tear you apart. 193 00:09:41,949 --> 00:09:44,682 Are you trying to turn me on? 194 00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:55,872 Get the phone, Cindy. Get the phone. 195 00:09:55,896 --> 00:09:57,940 Hello? Jack? 196 00:09:57,964 --> 00:10:00,076 Where are you? 197 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:03,179 Upstairs at larry's? He's gone. 198 00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:05,348 Cindy! 199 00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:06,904 He's back. 200 00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:09,918 Wrong number. 201 00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:12,989 Larry, larry, this Guy is a psycho. 202 00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:14,590 No telling what He's gonna do next. 203 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:17,560 Come on, jack, he's never gonna Find you up here, so stop worrying. 204 00:10:17,584 --> 00:10:19,728 open up! 205 00:10:19,752 --> 00:10:22,998 - start worrying. - hide me. 206 00:10:23,022 --> 00:10:27,302 Okay, uh... 207 00:10:27,326 --> 00:10:29,605 All right, all right, All right, calm down. 208 00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:32,808 open up, or I'm gonna Break down this door! 209 00:10:32,832 --> 00:10:35,611 I'd like to see you try. 210 00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:39,337 Hyaah! Kyaah! 211 00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:54,063 Are you satisfied? 212 00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:57,700 Oh, yes, that was Very well done. 213 00:10:57,724 --> 00:11:02,771 Well, I guess I was Wrong. He ain't here. 214 00:11:02,795 --> 00:11:06,141 - sorry about the door. - any time. 215 00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:09,078 Oh, by the way, could You do me a favor? 216 00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:10,579 Just name it. 217 00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:12,948 Tell your friend I'm gonna find him, 218 00:11:12,972 --> 00:11:15,117 And then I'm gonna kill him. 219 00:11:15,141 --> 00:11:18,988 God, jack! He left a message. 220 00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:23,181 I heard, I heard. "Find him and kill him." 221 00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:35,471 Good morning. 222 00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:38,341 Cindy, don't ever do that again. 223 00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:40,576 Boy, are you jittery. 224 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:43,379 I can't help it, cindy. I'm Scared to death for jack. 225 00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:46,415 Can you just imagine How he must feel? 226 00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:51,854 ♪ singin' in the rain, just singin' In the rain, what a glorious... ♪ 227 00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:54,523 What are you girls Doin' up so early? 228 00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:59,228 Jack, shouldn't you be Singing "Nearer my god to thee"? 229 00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:01,864 What, do you mean Because of max? 230 00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:04,933 No, because of the tooth Fairy. Of course, because of max. 231 00:12:04,957 --> 00:12:08,003 Janet, all he wanted to do is Put a scare into me, all right? 232 00:12:08,027 --> 00:12:10,739 It worked, but it's Over, so you... Relax. 233 00:12:10,763 --> 00:12:12,541 Janet, look at How tense you are. 234 00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:15,777 What you need is to take A couple of deep breaths. 235 00:12:15,801 --> 00:12:18,347 Come on, inhale. Both of you, Both of you. Come on, let's try it. 236 00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:20,483 - jack... - inhale, exhale. 237 00:12:20,507 --> 00:12:24,987 That's it, that's It. Inhale... Exhale. 238 00:12:25,011 --> 00:12:28,524 - it's not helping, jack. - it's helping me a lot. Inhale... 239 00:12:28,548 --> 00:12:31,293 - jack! - I gotta get to work. 240 00:12:31,317 --> 00:12:35,198 Jack, wait, wait, Wait. Um, uh, um... 241 00:12:35,222 --> 00:12:38,734 Well, you, um, take good care Of yourself today, okay, jack? 242 00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:41,270 Janet, believe me, we've Seen the last of that guy. 243 00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:44,240 Would you stop treating Me like a little boy? 244 00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:53,137 Mommy! 245 00:12:54,341 --> 00:12:56,219 What's the matter? 246 00:12:56,243 --> 00:12:58,187 It's him, max. He's waiting For me across the street. 247 00:12:58,211 --> 00:12:59,453 What am I gonna do? Aah! 248 00:12:59,477 --> 00:13:02,057 Jack, just calm down. Pull Yourself together, jack. 249 00:13:02,081 --> 00:13:05,060 - now, look, you have Nothing to worry about. - I don't? 250 00:13:05,084 --> 00:13:06,962 He's out there, but You're safe in here. 251 00:13:06,986 --> 00:13:09,164 - right, that's right. Right. - right. 252 00:13:09,188 --> 00:13:11,467 And the only thing I Can't do is go to work, 253 00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:14,370 Or go to the beach, go on dates, 254 00:13:14,394 --> 00:13:17,862 Lead a normal life... Oh, my god, I'm trapped! 255 00:13:19,733 --> 00:13:23,579 Yeah, I'm afraid I can't Come in to work again today. 256 00:13:23,603 --> 00:13:27,349 Uh, well, yes, sir, It's that 24-hour flu. 257 00:13:27,373 --> 00:13:29,485 I know it's been three Days, but, you know, 258 00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:32,522 Some germs just can't tell time. 259 00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:38,327 Who's there? I mean, Uh... Who's there? 260 00:13:38,351 --> 00:13:39,595 Man: larry. 261 00:13:39,619 --> 00:13:41,430 How do I know it's larry? 262 00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:43,766 come on, I need $10. 263 00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:45,990 It's larry. 264 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:50,305 Come on, come on come On, come on, come on. 265 00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:53,042 Jack, you look terrible. 266 00:13:53,066 --> 00:13:55,277 Well, wouldn't you? I Haven't been able to eat. 267 00:13:55,301 --> 00:13:57,913 I haven't been able to sleep That guy will not go away. 268 00:13:57,937 --> 00:14:00,850 You know, if I were you, I'd lay Low for a while. Get outta town. 269 00:14:00,874 --> 00:14:03,786 Larry, I can't go on running Forever. I'd be better off dead. 270 00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:07,623 Don't say that... Hey, maybe That's not such a bad idea. 271 00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:11,160 - what? - I know this sounds crazy, But it just might work. 272 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:12,694 Anything, I'll do Anything, larry. 273 00:14:12,718 --> 00:14:15,097 Good, I know where we're Gonna hold your funeral. 274 00:14:15,121 --> 00:14:18,200 - my what? - I got this friend Who owes me a favor. 275 00:14:18,224 --> 00:14:20,569 We get janet and cindy... 276 00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:21,792 Yeah? 277 00:14:22,995 --> 00:14:25,674 Hey, how long do you think 278 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:28,377 Lover boy is gonna be Able to hide from me? 279 00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:31,847 He's not hiding from anybody Anymore, thanks to you. 280 00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:34,716 - I hope you're happy. - happy? 281 00:14:34,740 --> 00:14:37,119 - you killed him. - murderer. 282 00:14:37,143 --> 00:14:39,688 Hey, ho, whoa, whoa, Whoa. Shh, shh, shh. 283 00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:42,491 Jack just couldn't Take it anymore. 284 00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:45,294 His heart stopped in The middle of the night. 285 00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:48,286 God forgot to wind it. 286 00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:56,939 Wait a minute, Are you tellin' me 287 00:14:56,963 --> 00:14:59,275 That jack is dead? 288 00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:01,580 Cindy: that's right. 289 00:15:09,476 --> 00:15:11,453 I don't believe it. 290 00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:13,588 We don't care what you believe. 291 00:15:13,612 --> 00:15:16,392 We're on our way to The memorial service now. 292 00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:19,061 At the shady hills funeral home. 293 00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:21,196 On washington boulevard. 294 00:15:21,220 --> 00:15:23,532 At 2:30, sharp. 295 00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:26,123 Free parking in the back. 296 00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:36,012 Did they say that jack is dead? 297 00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:38,014 Yeah, that's what they said. 298 00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:40,683 Oh, I feel terrible! 299 00:15:40,707 --> 00:15:42,417 Me, too. 300 00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:45,143 I wanted to kill him myself. 301 00:15:50,216 --> 00:15:52,494 Larry: calm down. 302 00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:54,897 I can't help it, these Places give me the creeps... 303 00:15:54,921 --> 00:15:56,365 Aah! What's that? 304 00:15:56,389 --> 00:16:00,135 - that's yours. - that's... I don't want it. 305 00:16:00,159 --> 00:16:02,204 No sign of max yet. 306 00:16:02,228 --> 00:16:05,140 Oh, larry, what if this Funeral idea doesn't work? 307 00:16:05,164 --> 00:16:08,577 That's the beauty of it. You're covered, either way. 308 00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:10,680 Come on. Hop in. 309 00:16:10,704 --> 00:16:12,782 - larry, I can't. - why not? 310 00:16:12,806 --> 00:16:15,084 - I'm not ready yet. - oh, come on, jack. 311 00:16:15,108 --> 00:16:17,452 Come on, I'll show you, There's nothing to it, huh? 312 00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:19,521 - here you go. - larry, come on. 313 00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:23,292 I'll tell you, this little baby is The answer to all your problems. 314 00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,260 You got your Plush, satin interior. 315 00:16:25,284 --> 00:16:26,862 Talk about your reclining seats! 316 00:16:26,886 --> 00:16:28,397 Huh? 317 00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:30,165 Larry! 318 00:16:30,189 --> 00:16:34,970 And plenty of leg room, not Like those japanese imports. 319 00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:37,272 Larry, will you get outta there! 320 00:16:37,296 --> 00:16:39,363 It's even got a sun roof. 321 00:16:41,935 --> 00:16:44,780 Larry, you know, you're Not selling me a used car. 322 00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:47,783 Honest, jack, I'm not Trying to sell you anything, 323 00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:50,051 But if you just give this Little baby a test drive... 324 00:16:50,075 --> 00:16:51,586 Larry, listen to me... 325 00:16:51,610 --> 00:16:53,422 You guys, you guys, There's somebody coming. 326 00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:55,257 - whoa! Somebody coming! - lar! 327 00:16:55,281 --> 00:16:58,660 Would you get out of here? Okay, hurry, hurry. Quick. 328 00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:00,351 Shh, shh, shh... 329 00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:04,255 What am I, jack in the box? 330 00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:12,375 Okay, now, don't move. 331 00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:19,214 Mr. Furley! 332 00:17:19,238 --> 00:17:21,183 Oh, my god, it's true. 333 00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:23,385 Jack, why you? 334 00:17:23,409 --> 00:17:25,921 - mr. Furley... - janet, please, not now. 335 00:17:25,945 --> 00:17:31,815 Oh, he was so young, so alive. 336 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,431 Couldn't you give Him any more time? 337 00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:51,113 It's a miracle! 338 00:17:51,137 --> 00:17:53,415 No, it isn't, mr. Furley. 339 00:17:53,439 --> 00:17:56,585 Well, it is a damn good trick! 340 00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:59,354 Mr. Furley, look, I'm not dead, 341 00:17:59,378 --> 00:18:01,323 But some guy's Tryin' to kill me. 342 00:18:01,347 --> 00:18:02,924 - someone's coming! - look, mr. Furley. 343 00:18:02,948 --> 00:18:04,593 We'll explain the whole Thing to you later, 344 00:18:04,617 --> 00:18:06,562 But for now, just Don't give jack away. 345 00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:09,864 - you don't have to worry. - get rid of these flowers. I'm allergic... 346 00:18:09,888 --> 00:18:12,267 Oh, get 'em... 347 00:18:12,291 --> 00:18:14,936 Now just remember, jack, lie Perfectly still and don't breathe. 348 00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:17,172 Okay. 349 00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:27,516 Is that him? 350 00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:29,873 Was. 351 00:18:31,678 --> 00:18:34,790 Yeah, he's deader than A doornail, all right. 352 00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:39,662 Yeah, well, max, Thank you for coming. 353 00:18:39,686 --> 00:18:43,599 Oh, yes! He's dead, all right. 354 00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:45,601 Dead and gone. 355 00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:50,339 Oh, jack, jack, jack. 356 00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:54,076 He was such a wonderful person. 357 00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:56,800 So sensitive. So thoughtful. 358 00:18:57,803 --> 00:19:00,849 - so kind. - amen. 359 00:19:00,873 --> 00:19:03,841 There'll never be Anyone else like him! 360 00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:08,579 Never. Never. 361 00:19:10,883 --> 00:19:12,895 - never. - amen. 362 00:19:12,919 --> 00:19:16,198 He was like the son I never had. 363 00:19:16,222 --> 00:19:19,968 The brother I always wanted! 364 00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:21,251 The friend I... 365 00:19:21,275 --> 00:19:25,273 Mr. Furley, don't you Think it's time to, um, um... 366 00:19:25,297 --> 00:19:28,244 Time to lower our heads In a moment of silence. 367 00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:32,670 - lower. - now for a moment Of silence for breath... Jack. 368 00:20:13,012 --> 00:20:15,390 There, there, There. It's all right. 369 00:20:15,414 --> 00:20:17,392 It's all right. 370 00:20:17,416 --> 00:20:21,229 You know what? You're Kinda cute under this light. 371 00:20:21,253 --> 00:20:24,800 Would you like to go Danci" after the funeral? 372 00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:27,670 - april! - april? 373 00:20:27,694 --> 00:20:30,238 - april, what're you doin' here? - I followed you. 374 00:20:30,262 --> 00:20:35,010 Oh, max, I was afraid You were going to do this. 375 00:20:35,034 --> 00:20:37,346 Now, april, I didn't Lay a hand on him. 376 00:20:37,370 --> 00:20:39,915 He's telling the truth, april. Mother nature beat him to it. 377 00:20:39,939 --> 00:20:41,650 It was his heart. 378 00:20:41,674 --> 00:20:44,041 God forgot to wind it. 379 00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:53,950 Poor, poor jack. 380 00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:57,833 I feel so guilty. 381 00:20:57,857 --> 00:21:02,637 Yes, well, we all have to go Sometime, and we don't want to keep you! 382 00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:14,283 - what was that? - what was what? 383 00:21:14,307 --> 00:21:15,984 That sneeze. 384 00:21:16,008 --> 00:21:18,787 It was him. 385 00:21:18,811 --> 00:21:20,555 You know, there's Somethin' wrong here, 386 00:21:20,579 --> 00:21:23,758 And I ain't goin' nowhere until I Make sure that he's really dead. 387 00:21:23,782 --> 00:21:25,460 What're you going to do? 388 00:21:25,484 --> 00:21:28,084 Does anybody got a hat pin? 389 00:21:30,256 --> 00:21:34,637 Max, max, isn't it bad enough That you hounded him to his grave? 390 00:21:34,661 --> 00:21:36,905 Do you have to make a Mockery of his memory, too? 391 00:21:36,929 --> 00:21:39,975 When you put it that way, it Makes me sound like a real heel. 392 00:21:39,999 --> 00:21:41,810 Yeah, yeah, forget About it. Let's just go. 393 00:21:41,834 --> 00:21:43,612 No, when you're right, You're right, and you're right. 394 00:21:43,636 --> 00:21:46,481 I mean, at least I owe The guy an apology. 395 00:21:46,505 --> 00:21:49,584 Jack, wherever you are, 396 00:21:49,608 --> 00:21:53,288 I just wanna say that, You know, maybe I went 397 00:21:53,312 --> 00:21:56,024 A little too far, and I'm sorry. 398 00:21:56,048 --> 00:21:58,115 That's okay. 399 00:22:03,589 --> 00:22:07,569 You know how I said I went too far? I lied! 400 00:22:07,593 --> 00:22:10,506 That's not the only Thing you've lied about! 401 00:22:10,530 --> 00:22:13,842 If you're so crazy about april, then How come you tried to make a date with me? 402 00:22:13,866 --> 00:22:15,377 - what? - I heard it. 403 00:22:15,401 --> 00:22:18,146 - I heard him. - I heard him, too. 404 00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:20,916 - you two-timing... - no, wait a minute, april. 405 00:22:20,940 --> 00:22:22,384 I was just trying to Make conversation. 406 00:22:22,408 --> 00:22:24,352 You know how bad I am at small talk. 407 00:22:24,376 --> 00:22:26,388 You can do whatever you Want now, max, we're through. 408 00:22:26,412 --> 00:22:28,056 April, wait a minute. 409 00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,559 You know you're the only One I've ever cared for. 410 00:22:30,583 --> 00:22:33,061 Jack, come on, talk to Her. She'll listen to you. 411 00:22:33,085 --> 00:22:35,230 Jack: nobody's home! 412 00:22:35,254 --> 00:22:38,233 Wait, you know, this Has been a big mistake. 413 00:22:38,257 --> 00:22:40,068 You're a mistake. 414 00:22:40,092 --> 00:22:41,603 April, please... You know what? 415 00:22:41,627 --> 00:22:44,773 I love you. Did you Ever hear me say that? 416 00:22:44,797 --> 00:22:47,842 I don't think we're gonna See any more of him. 417 00:22:47,866 --> 00:22:49,778 Boy, am I glad that's over. 418 00:22:49,802 --> 00:22:52,247 Listen, let's all go To the regal beagle. 419 00:22:52,271 --> 00:22:55,872 - I could use a cold drink. - oh, me, too! 420 00:22:58,243 --> 00:23:01,723 Jack: hey, guys, I'm stuck here. 421 00:23:01,747 --> 00:23:06,583 - oh, I get the jo... - hey, oh... 422 00:23:13,258 --> 00:23:16,204 I'm telling you, I will never get 423 00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:19,828 Into another coffin for as Long as I live... I'd rather die first. 424 00:23:22,601 --> 00:23:25,013 That's one way. 425 00:23:25,037 --> 00:23:27,516 Listen, I'm heading for bed. 426 00:23:27,540 --> 00:23:29,617 - me, too. - well, I'm not. 427 00:23:29,641 --> 00:23:33,722 Girls, listen, you expect Me to sleep in my room, alone, 428 00:23:33,746 --> 00:23:35,490 After what I've gone through? 429 00:23:35,514 --> 00:23:38,860 Jack, you can't Just sit up all night. 430 00:23:38,884 --> 00:23:41,764 Yeah, but janet, The nightmares... 431 00:23:41,788 --> 00:23:45,133 Cindy, janet, couldn't I please 432 00:23:45,157 --> 00:23:48,904 Stay in your room, Just this once? 433 00:23:48,928 --> 00:23:51,573 - what? - are you kidding? 434 00:23:51,597 --> 00:23:53,897 Ple-e-e-ease! 435 00:23:56,135 --> 00:24:02,350 Well... Just this once, okay? 436 00:24:02,374 --> 00:24:05,821 Well... Bless you. 437 00:24:05,845 --> 00:24:07,689 Okay. 438 00:24:07,713 --> 00:24:09,913 Hurt me. 439 00:24:13,686 --> 00:24:15,719 Hey, hey, hey, hey! 440 00:24:18,324 --> 00:24:21,236 Girls! 441 00:24:41,380 --> 00:24:45,126 John ritter: three's company was Videotaped in front of a studio audience. 33226

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