Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,167 --> 00:00:06,505
-♪ what would you do
If I sang out of tune? ♪
2
00:00:06,507 --> 00:00:11,275
♪ would you stand up
And walk out on me? ♪
3
00:00:11,277 --> 00:00:17,515
♪ lend me your ears,
And I'll sing you a song ♪
4
00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:21,018
♪ I will try not to sing
Out of key, yeah ♪
5
00:00:21,020 --> 00:00:25,156
♪ oh, baby, I get by ♪
-♪ by with a little help
From my friends ♪
6
00:00:25,158 --> 00:00:26,691
-♪ all I need is my buddies ♪
7
00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:29,761
-♪ high with a little help
From my friends ♪
8
00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:31,863
-♪ I'm sayin'
I'm gonna get higher ♪
9
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:35,367
-♪ try with a little help
From my friends ♪
10
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:36,567
-♪ whoa-oa-oa-oa ♪
11
00:00:36,569 --> 00:00:38,303
-♪ oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
12
00:00:38,305 --> 00:00:42,707
-♪ somebody who knows
Quite sure ♪
13
00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:43,908
♪ baby ♪
14
00:00:43,910 --> 00:00:46,644
-♪ by with a little help
From my friends ♪
15
00:00:46,646 --> 00:00:48,747
-♪ said I'm gonna make it
With my friends ♪
16
00:00:48,749 --> 00:00:51,482
-♪ try with a little help
From my friends ♪
17
00:00:51,484 --> 00:00:53,885
-♪ oh, I'm gonna
Keep on trying ♪
18
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,454
-♪ high with a little help
From my friends ♪
19
00:00:56,456 --> 00:01:00,092
♪ I'm gonna keep on trying now,
Baby ♪
20
00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:02,560
-♪ ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
21
00:01:04,197 --> 00:01:06,865
-every great acthas its own routine...
22
00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:08,133
-gracie, say good night.
23
00:01:08,135 --> 00:01:09,634
-good night.
-good night.
24
00:01:09,636 --> 00:01:11,870
-...Delivery, timing...
25
00:01:11,872 --> 00:01:13,205
-you know what I mean? Huh?
-yeah.
26
00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:14,505
-huh?
-yeah.
-huh?
-yeah.
27
00:01:14,507 --> 00:01:16,208
-they take years to perfect.
28
00:01:16,210 --> 00:01:18,543
[ piano plays ragtime music ]
29
00:01:18,545 --> 00:01:20,745
it takes hard workand practice.
30
00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:22,380
-it's all right.
-it's all right?
-it's all right.
31
00:01:22,382 --> 00:01:24,149
-but once you've got it down,
32
00:01:24,151 --> 00:01:27,052
it becomes second-nature...
33
00:01:27,054 --> 00:01:28,453
routine.
34
00:01:28,455 --> 00:01:30,421
-butthead!
35
00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:31,456
-dork face!
36
00:01:31,458 --> 00:01:32,624
-grow up!
37
00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:33,557
-take my family...
38
00:01:33,559 --> 00:01:35,227
please.
[ rim shot ]
39
00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:37,428
-morning.
-[ groans ]
40
00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:39,865
-talk about routines --we had a million of 'em.
41
00:01:39,867 --> 00:01:41,233
-[ sighs ]
42
00:01:41,235 --> 00:01:42,601
-kevin? Did you feed --
43
00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:43,701
-mom, could you do it?
44
00:01:43,703 --> 00:01:45,370
I got to get to school early.
45
00:01:45,372 --> 00:01:47,806
-mom? Did you fix
That button on my --
46
00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:49,107
-I sewed it on last night.
47
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:51,109
-norma, where's my --
-it's in your briefcase.
48
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:52,878
-hey, where's the --
-right here.
49
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:55,881
-yep, we had 'em all --timing, delivery,
50
00:01:55,883 --> 00:01:59,250
and of course, the beststraight man in the business.
51
00:01:59,252 --> 00:02:02,454
-jack? The tickets
For the concert series arrived.
52
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,323
-good, old mom.
53
00:02:05,325 --> 00:02:06,390
-honey?
54
00:02:08,195 --> 00:02:11,663
-uh, no, no. Just coffee's fine.
55
00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:12,931
-[ chuckles ]
56
00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:16,268
No, jack, I was talking
About the concert series.
57
00:02:16,270 --> 00:02:17,903
-oh.
58
00:02:17,905 --> 00:02:19,203
-it starts this thursday night.
59
00:02:19,205 --> 00:02:20,639
They're doing chamber music.
60
00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:22,474
I think it should be fun.
61
00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:24,742
-uh-huh, you could alwayscount on norma arnold
62
00:02:24,744 --> 00:02:26,144
to set up the punch lines.
63
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:29,213
-thursday's gonna be a bear,
Norma.
64
00:02:29,215 --> 00:02:31,082
It's this damn audit.
65
00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:35,053
One of the kids will go
With you.
66
00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:37,188
[ rim shot ]
67
00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:40,125
-I've got a date.
68
00:02:40,127 --> 00:02:41,792
-big history test friday.
69
00:02:41,794 --> 00:02:43,395
Got to hit the books.
70
00:02:43,397 --> 00:02:45,730
-[ crunching ]
71
00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:46,898
-you had to hand it to her.
72
00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:48,433
mom was perfect at the part --
73
00:02:48,435 --> 00:02:50,702
like any great comedian.
74
00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:52,771
-kev, it isn't funny.
75
00:02:52,773 --> 00:02:56,208
I can't walk into the cafeteria
Looking like this.
76
00:02:56,210 --> 00:02:58,143
-of course, when it cameto playing straight man,
77
00:02:58,145 --> 00:03:00,011
I had some experienceof my own.
78
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:02,147
-paul, it's just a cowlick.
79
00:03:02,149 --> 00:03:03,381
It's not so bad.
80
00:03:03,383 --> 00:03:05,116
-what do you mean, "Not so bad"?
81
00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:08,186
"Not so good," right?
That's what you really mean.
82
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,655
-for instance, when paul'sself-esteem was down --
83
00:03:10,657 --> 00:03:12,324
read "Any day of the week" --
84
00:03:12,326 --> 00:03:14,158
it was routine for meto build him back up.
85
00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:16,962
-it looks like I've got pipe
Cleaners growing out of my head!
86
00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:19,264
-[ sighs ] it looks fine.
87
00:03:19,266 --> 00:03:21,533
-hey, alfalfa.
88
00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:23,201
Nice 'do.
89
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:24,369
-get bent, hobson.
90
00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:25,836
Careful what you say, pfeiff,-
91
00:03:25,838 --> 00:03:28,339
Or I might not let you
See the berlini poll.
92
00:03:28,341 --> 00:03:30,442
-what?
-the lisa berlini poll --
93
00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:32,010
the definitive rating...
94
00:03:32,012 --> 00:03:34,279
of the male factionat rfk junior high.
95
00:03:34,281 --> 00:03:37,181
it was the kind of documentthat eventually led
96
00:03:37,183 --> 00:03:39,951
to deep-seated neurosesand psychotherapy --
97
00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:41,953
not that we knew aboutthat stuff in eighth grade.
98
00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:43,955
-read 'em and weep, cupcakes.
99
00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:45,356
[ chuckles ]
100
00:03:45,358 --> 00:03:48,126
[ toilet flushes ]
Ha!
101
00:03:48,128 --> 00:03:49,493
-is my name on it?
102
00:03:49,495 --> 00:03:51,496
-"Best eyes"?
103
00:03:51,498 --> 00:03:53,498
I got "Best eyes"?
104
00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:55,066
What about the rest of my face?
105
00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,402
-well, I guessit could have been worse.
106
00:03:57,404 --> 00:04:00,171
-[ scoffs ] "Brainiest."
107
00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:01,439
-I could have been paul.
108
00:04:01,441 --> 00:04:03,341
-does anybody see my name?!
109
00:04:03,343 --> 00:04:06,644
-man, last time at least
I got "Best-mannered."
110
00:04:06,646 --> 00:04:08,380
-hey!
111
00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:10,148
There's nothing wrong
With being brainy.
112
00:04:10,150 --> 00:04:13,551
-thank god
I didn't get "Brainiest."
113
00:04:13,553 --> 00:04:14,819
-[ scoffs ]
114
00:04:14,821 --> 00:04:16,855
Man, first a cowlick
The size of mount rushmore,
115
00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:18,123
And now this.
116
00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:19,924
-uh-oh, you could sense
117
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:22,494
paul headingfor a major-league slump here.
118
00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:24,796
this was gonna take care.
119
00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:27,032
-paul, nobody's gonna notice.
120
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:28,232
Trust me.
121
00:04:28,234 --> 00:04:29,333
-you think so?
122
00:04:29,335 --> 00:04:30,334
-yeah.
123
00:04:30,336 --> 00:04:31,536
-care...
124
00:04:31,538 --> 00:04:33,605
and a little good luck.
125
00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:36,307
-[ screaming ]
126
00:04:38,144 --> 00:04:39,810
[ screaming continues ]
127
00:04:41,381 --> 00:04:43,782
-now, there's a brain.
128
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,684
Pretty attractive, huh?
129
00:04:45,686 --> 00:04:48,019
-paul, it's just a stupid movie.
130
00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:51,589
-man, I'd rather be "Ugliest"
Than "Brainiest.
131
00:04:51,591 --> 00:04:54,426
-paul pfeiffer!
Who said you were ugly?
132
00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:56,027
-nobody said he was ugly.
133
00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:58,096
-[ scoffs ]
No, they said brainiest.
134
00:04:58,098 --> 00:05:00,732
The babes are already starting
To beat down my door.
135
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:03,033
[ scoffs ]
136
00:05:03,035 --> 00:05:05,103
It's these stupid glasses.
137
00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:06,637
-what are you talking about?!
138
00:05:06,639 --> 00:05:08,540
-never mind, mom.
139
00:05:08,542 --> 00:05:10,675
-after all, if I couldn'tcheer the guy up,
140
00:05:10,677 --> 00:05:11,676
what could mom do?
141
00:05:11,678 --> 00:05:14,546
-paul, I've known you
A long time,
142
00:05:14,548 --> 00:05:15,847
And I've always thought
143
00:05:15,849 --> 00:05:19,116
That your glasses
Make you look very...
144
00:05:19,118 --> 00:05:20,485
Manly.
145
00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:22,253
-manly?
146
00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:24,356
-manly?
147
00:05:24,358 --> 00:05:25,589
-absolutely.
148
00:05:25,591 --> 00:05:28,593
-of course, she was obviouslythrowing him a line.
149
00:05:28,595 --> 00:05:31,329
still, the fish were biting.
150
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:34,566
-you know, a lot of great men
Wear glasses.
151
00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:36,000
-like who?
152
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,401
-well, like...
153
00:05:37,403 --> 00:05:38,870
Arthur miller.
154
00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:40,739
-who's arthur miller?
155
00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:42,941
-you think arthur miller
Is handsome?
156
00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:44,409
-well, not just me.
157
00:05:44,411 --> 00:05:47,078
Marilyn monroe thought so, too.
158
00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:51,682
-I guess I'd never
Really thought about
It that way before.
159
00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:53,418
-naturally, he hadn't.
160
00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:57,422
it was patently ridiculous --whoever arthur miller was.
161
00:05:57,424 --> 00:06:01,192
-glasses can make the man, paul.
162
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:03,027
-still, you had to hand itto old mom.
163
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:05,530
paul was lapping' upthe kind words like --
164
00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:07,331
-hey, how about some cocoa?
165
00:06:07,333 --> 00:06:09,233
-uh, I'm allergic to instant.
166
00:06:09,235 --> 00:06:11,101
-oh, I make it from scratch.
167
00:06:11,103 --> 00:06:12,837
Always cheers kevin up.
168
00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:14,506
-look, mom, I don't think he --
169
00:06:14,508 --> 00:06:15,740
-that sounds great.
170
00:06:15,742 --> 00:06:17,008
-let's go.
171
00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:19,344
I'm in the mood for some, too.
172
00:06:19,346 --> 00:06:21,179
How about you, honey?
173
00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:23,314
-no. No thanks.
174
00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:26,184
-so, who else wore glasses?
-well...
175
00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:27,885
-sure, let them havea little time together.
176
00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:29,453
it was no skin off my nose.
177
00:06:29,455 --> 00:06:31,622
after all,mom's cocoa and sympathy
178
00:06:31,624 --> 00:06:34,726
could never prepare paulfor the cold realities of --
179
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,161
-hey, brainiac!
180
00:06:36,163 --> 00:06:38,496
Heard any good theorems lately,
Gray matter?
181
00:06:38,498 --> 00:06:39,697
-...Real life...
182
00:06:39,699 --> 00:06:41,232
-hey, big brain.
183
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:43,134
-...Life after lisa berlini.
184
00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:45,503
-look at it this way,
Pfeiffer --
185
00:06:45,505 --> 00:06:48,506
Brainy's not so bad.
186
00:06:48,508 --> 00:06:51,376
There are a lot of librarians
Out there looking for a man.
187
00:06:51,378 --> 00:06:53,244
-okay, that was my cue.
188
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:54,979
time to cometo the rescue here.
189
00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:56,247
-yeah, well, I guess
Being brainiest
190
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,216
Is something you'll never
Have to worry about.
191
00:06:58,218 --> 00:06:59,517
-or maybe not.
192
00:06:59,519 --> 00:07:01,886
-oh, very funny, four-eyes.
193
00:07:01,888 --> 00:07:05,056
-hey, pal,
Arthur miller wears glasses.
194
00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:06,791
-who's arthur miller?
195
00:07:06,793 --> 00:07:08,593
-why don't you ask
Marilyn monroe?
196
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,227
-huh?
197
00:07:10,229 --> 00:07:11,996
-well, well, well.
198
00:07:11,998 --> 00:07:14,832
seemed we had a new paulon our hands.
199
00:07:14,834 --> 00:07:17,602
yep, my best friendwas feeling better.
200
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:18,903
-so, then I said,
201
00:07:18,905 --> 00:07:21,005
"Why don't you ask
Marilyn monroe?"
202
00:07:21,007 --> 00:07:23,875
[ both laugh ]
203
00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:25,709
-much better.
204
00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:28,546
in fact,over the next few days,
205
00:07:28,548 --> 00:07:30,315
it was all he talked about.
206
00:07:30,317 --> 00:07:32,383
-I've been thinking
About getting wire rims.
207
00:07:32,385 --> 00:07:34,819
-wire rims?
208
00:07:34,821 --> 00:07:36,554
-to accentuate the positive.
209
00:07:36,556 --> 00:07:38,456
Glasses can make the man.
210
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:39,257
Your shot.
211
00:07:39,259 --> 00:07:40,791
-"Accentuate the positive"?
212
00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:42,193
"Glasses make the man"?
213
00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:44,028
was this a kidI was playing with
214
00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:45,530
or a clotheshorse?
215
00:07:45,532 --> 00:07:48,365
-you know, I could probably get
Dad to special-order some frames
216
00:07:48,367 --> 00:07:49,701
Like donald perman's.
217
00:07:49,703 --> 00:07:51,769
That'd be neat.
-who's donald perman?
218
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,306
-of course, ben franklin
Wore bifocals,
219
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:56,641
But I don't need those.
220
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:58,776
-paul, who's donald perman?
221
00:07:58,778 --> 00:08:00,979
-that guy your mom dated
In high school.
222
00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:03,181
She thought
He was really good-looking.
223
00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:05,350
She showed me his picture
In her yearbook.
224
00:08:05,352 --> 00:08:07,118
-her yearbook?
225
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:10,121
when did paul ever seemy mom's yearbook?
226
00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:12,857
-man! We must have talked
For about an hour yesterday.
227
00:08:12,859 --> 00:08:14,592
-where was I?
228
00:08:14,594 --> 00:08:17,195
-why didn't you ever tell me
Your mom wanted to be a singer?
229
00:08:17,197 --> 00:08:19,396
Isn't that a funny story
About the audition
230
00:08:19,398 --> 00:08:20,698
For the radio commercial?
231
00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:23,635
-the radio commercial?
232
00:08:23,637 --> 00:08:26,738
my mother never told meabout any radio commercial.
233
00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:28,105
-yeah, well, it's not so funny
234
00:08:28,107 --> 00:08:30,375
After you heard it
A bazillion times.
235
00:08:30,377 --> 00:08:31,542
-I thought it was hilarious --
236
00:08:31,544 --> 00:08:33,645
Especially the part
About the shoulder pads.
237
00:08:33,647 --> 00:08:34,646
[ laughs ]
238
00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:35,914
-look...
239
00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:37,115
-ow!
240
00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:39,584
-I'm gonna go get something
To drink. You want anything?
241
00:08:39,586 --> 00:08:41,185
-hey, I'll get it.
242
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:42,554
Be right back.
243
00:08:42,556 --> 00:08:44,355
-sometimes,paul could be a real dink.
244
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:45,956
I mean,I wanted to shoot hoops,
245
00:08:45,958 --> 00:08:48,459
and this guy wanted to talkabout my mother's history.
246
00:08:48,461 --> 00:08:49,727
who cared?
247
00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:53,231
I had more important thingsto think about...
248
00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:55,967
like winning an nba titlein triple overtime
249
00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:57,902
with a shot at the buzzer.
250
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:03,608
[ buzzer buzzes ]
-the crowd has gone wild!
251
00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:07,412
[ crowd cheering ]
252
00:09:07,414 --> 00:09:08,946
-the crowd, maybe,
253
00:09:08,948 --> 00:09:11,416
but what about the other team?
254
00:09:11,418 --> 00:09:12,650
didn't paul realize
255
00:09:12,652 --> 00:09:15,185
there were more importantthings in life than...
256
00:09:15,187 --> 00:09:16,320
-...Full of people, okay?
257
00:09:16,322 --> 00:09:18,222
And then all of a sudden,
The lights go out.
258
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:20,692
-...Sitting around,having cocoa,
259
00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:22,694
while my mother laughed harder
260
00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:25,330
than I'd seen her laughin years?
261
00:09:25,332 --> 00:09:28,332
[ indistinct talking, laughter ]
262
00:09:31,670 --> 00:09:33,471
[ indistinct talking ]
263
00:09:35,442 --> 00:09:39,944
-♪ did you ever have to
Make up your mind? ♪
264
00:09:39,946 --> 00:09:43,214
♪ pick up on one
And leave the other behind? ♪
265
00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:47,385
♪ it's not often easy
And not often kind ♪
266
00:09:47,387 --> 00:09:50,722
♪ did you ever have to
Make up your mind? ♪
267
00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:52,924
[ indistinct talking ]
268
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,958
-article five, section six
269
00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:57,394
of the eighth-grade boys'code of conduct --
270
00:09:57,396 --> 00:10:00,531
"When faced with a popularitypoll you don't like,
271
00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:02,000
make up your own."
272
00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:06,404
of course,we took it seriously.
273
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:08,873
there was an art to this --points awarded
274
00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:11,309
for intelligence,political awareness,
275
00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:12,543
and of course...
-best body?
276
00:10:12,545 --> 00:10:14,579
-eva jenkins.
-eva jenkins.
-eva jenkins.
277
00:10:14,581 --> 00:10:17,748
-no way! Holly stern!
278
00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:19,817
She shaves her legs!
279
00:10:19,819 --> 00:10:21,085
-doug, you're drooling.
280
00:10:21,087 --> 00:10:22,487
-of course he was drooling.
281
00:10:22,489 --> 00:10:24,121
that's what adolescents do.
282
00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:25,957
-hi.
-well, most adolescents.
283
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:28,259
-what are you guys doing?
284
00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:31,495
-oh, decide to spend some timewith people your own age, huh?
285
00:10:31,497 --> 00:10:34,666
-we're doing a poll
To get back at lisa berlini.
286
00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:36,100
-how about "Best smile"?
287
00:10:36,102 --> 00:10:38,268
-you know who has a nice smile?
288
00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:40,404
Your mom.
289
00:10:40,406 --> 00:10:42,106
-was he nuts?
290
00:10:42,108 --> 00:10:44,909
when the guys found out whathe thought about my mother,
291
00:10:44,911 --> 00:10:46,210
they would --
292
00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:48,046
-yeah, you know,
Arnold's mom's not bad.
293
00:10:48,048 --> 00:10:49,847
-...Agree.
294
00:10:49,849 --> 00:10:51,649
-she shaves her legs, too.
295
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,984
-you're talking about my mother!
296
00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:57,455
-as if she weresome kind of, uh...Woman!
297
00:10:57,457 --> 00:10:58,989
-well,
I think we should put down
298
00:10:58,991 --> 00:11:00,357
Kevin's mom for "Best smile."
299
00:11:00,359 --> 00:11:01,659
-paul, that's ridiculous!
300
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,628
I mean, this is a school poll.
301
00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:04,929
-wait a minute.
302
00:11:04,931 --> 00:11:07,331
Pfeiffer's actually got
A decent idea.
303
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:09,333
-uh-oh.
304
00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:13,337
-lisa berlini should know she's
In competition with real women.
305
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:15,772
-look what I got
For your tub, honey!
306
00:11:15,774 --> 00:11:19,811
-norma arnold --homemaker, mother, wife...
307
00:11:19,813 --> 00:11:21,112
teen idol.
308
00:11:21,114 --> 00:11:23,947
[ telephone rings ]
309
00:11:23,949 --> 00:11:25,182
-hello?
310
00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:26,584
Oh, hello, paul.
311
00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:27,985
-no, tell him I'm not home.
312
00:11:27,987 --> 00:11:30,421
-fact is, I'd hadjust about enough of --
313
00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:32,156
-it's for me, honey.
314
00:11:32,158 --> 00:11:34,859
-okay, fine. In fact, perfect.
315
00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:38,128
because when mom discovered howboring paul was on the phone...
316
00:11:38,130 --> 00:11:39,664
-[ laughing ] oh, paul!
317
00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:42,133
Really? [ laughs ]
318
00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:43,901
-uh, excuse me, mrs. Arnold,
319
00:11:43,903 --> 00:11:45,502
but don't we havebetter things to do?
320
00:11:45,504 --> 00:11:46,704
now?
321
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:49,273
-well, I have to go now, paul.
322
00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:50,541
Okay.
323
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:52,477
Okay. Bye.
324
00:11:52,479 --> 00:11:54,445
[ sighs ]
325
00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:55,746
Oh, dear.
326
00:11:55,748 --> 00:11:57,180
Your father will be home soon,
327
00:11:57,182 --> 00:11:59,350
And I'm not sure
What to do about dinner.
328
00:11:59,352 --> 00:12:01,552
-okay, this wasthe mom I knew --
329
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,221
the mom that fixed dinner.
330
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,656
-and now that paul's going to
The concert with me tonight...
331
00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:07,058
-what?
332
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,327
-yeah, that's why he called.
333
00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:10,728
He asked if he could go with me.
334
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,630
-how'd paul know
About the concert?
335
00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:15,666
-well, I told him
Your father couldn't come.
336
00:12:15,668 --> 00:12:18,302
And since the rest of you
Were busy,
337
00:12:18,304 --> 00:12:20,071
That extra ticket shouldn't
Go to waste.
338
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,839
-look, mom, you know
All paul's gonna do
339
00:12:21,841 --> 00:12:23,474
Is talk
Through the whole thing.
340
00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:25,976
And it's not like he even knows
What chamber music is.
341
00:12:25,978 --> 00:12:27,178
-which made two of us.
342
00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:29,580
-he said he wanted
To expand his horizons.
343
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,649
I think that's nice.
-nice?
344
00:12:31,651 --> 00:12:34,618
why did I suddenly smella pfeiffer in wolf's clothing?
345
00:12:34,620 --> 00:12:36,354
-well, I better get ready.
346
00:12:36,356 --> 00:12:38,189
The concert begins at 7:00.
347
00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:41,959
-the funny thing is,
348
00:12:41,961 --> 00:12:45,062
I hadn't seen mom so excitedin...Months.
349
00:12:45,064 --> 00:12:46,697
-norma?
350
00:12:46,699 --> 00:12:48,199
Can you come here a minute?
351
00:12:48,201 --> 00:12:49,900
-I'm still getting dressed,
Honey!
352
00:12:49,902 --> 00:12:52,536
-in fact, she was soundingdownright...Chipper.
353
00:12:52,538 --> 00:12:54,605
[ doorbell rings ]
-I'll get it.
354
00:12:56,342 --> 00:12:57,641
-oh, hi, mr. Arnold.
355
00:12:57,643 --> 00:12:59,277
I brought a jello mold.
356
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:00,711
My mother wanted me
To bring it over.
357
00:13:00,713 --> 00:13:02,379
It's lime jello.
She put fruit cocktail in it.
358
00:13:02,381 --> 00:13:03,948
But we didn't have any
Little marshmallows --
359
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:05,516
-norma!
360
00:13:05,518 --> 00:13:07,318
Paul's here.
361
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:09,020
-I'll just be a minute!
362
00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:10,854
-she'll just be a minute.
363
00:13:15,127 --> 00:13:18,596
Norma? This pizza's
Still frozen in the middle.
364
00:13:18,598 --> 00:13:21,599
-turn it up to 450
For about another 10 minutes.
365
00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:22,900
-oh.
366
00:13:22,902 --> 00:13:24,402
[ groans ]
367
00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:27,505
-oh, and sprinkle a little water
On the crust.
368
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:30,675
I've always found the only way
You can get the middle warm
369
00:13:30,677 --> 00:13:33,077
Is burn the sides.
370
00:13:33,079 --> 00:13:34,344
-that was it.
371
00:13:34,346 --> 00:13:36,447
the same 13-year-oldwho was dating his wife
372
00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:38,482
was now giving himcooking tips?
373
00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:41,786
dad wasn't gonna standfor this.
374
00:13:41,788 --> 00:13:43,654
-how much water?
375
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:44,922
-[ sighs ]
376
00:13:44,924 --> 00:13:47,091
-oh, just a little sprinkle.
377
00:13:47,093 --> 00:13:49,259
Sir.
-[ groans ]
378
00:13:51,130 --> 00:13:54,432
-okay, then, if dadwouldn't do it, I would.
379
00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:56,533
it was time to explainto paul
380
00:13:56,535 --> 00:13:59,503
my mother was just likeeveryone else's mother.
381
00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:01,505
-okay, I'm ready.
382
00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:04,808
-only more beautiful.
383
00:14:11,117 --> 00:14:12,316
-hi, honey.
384
00:14:12,318 --> 00:14:13,316
-hi.
-hi.
385
00:14:16,088 --> 00:14:18,990
Oh! My mom wanted me
To give this to you.
386
00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:20,257
-oh, thank you!
387
00:14:20,259 --> 00:14:22,526
That was very nice of her.
388
00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:25,630
-hey, should I
Put some foil on this?
389
00:14:25,632 --> 00:14:27,398
-it'll stick.
-it'll stick.
390
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,033
-oh.
391
00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:31,769
-well, are you ready?
392
00:14:31,771 --> 00:14:34,204
-it was...Embarrassing.didn't dad see?
393
00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:36,907
while he was busyplaying suzy homemaker,
394
00:14:36,909 --> 00:14:40,043
my best friend was squiringhis wife around town.
395
00:14:40,045 --> 00:14:41,746
-well, I'll see you later.
396
00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:44,148
And if you want
A snack tonight,
397
00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:45,782
There's jello.
398
00:14:50,156 --> 00:14:52,389
-I'm really looking forward
To this.
399
00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:54,358
-it should be fun.
400
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:56,526
-yep, there was definitelysomething wrong
401
00:14:56,528 --> 00:14:58,262
with this picture.
402
00:14:58,264 --> 00:15:00,564
by 9:00 that night,the pizza was burned,
403
00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:03,600
the jello was gone, andthe toaster had blown a fuse.
404
00:15:03,602 --> 00:15:06,170
without mom to help,dad and I had been reduced
405
00:15:06,172 --> 00:15:08,305
to the lower endof the food chain...
406
00:15:10,609 --> 00:15:13,644
...Plus, the more rudimentaryforms of communication.
407
00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:15,845
-[ crunching ]
408
00:15:26,792 --> 00:15:28,192
-seemed like a perfect time
409
00:15:28,194 --> 00:15:30,027
to do a littlehistorical research.
410
00:15:30,029 --> 00:15:31,162
-dad?
411
00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:32,930
-hmm?
412
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:36,200
-did you know mom when
She wanted to be a singer?
413
00:15:39,171 --> 00:15:41,171
-that's right. She did.
414
00:15:41,173 --> 00:15:43,607
okay, an actual eyewitness.
415
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:45,475
maybe I wasonto something here.
416
00:15:45,477 --> 00:15:46,811
-and was she really --
417
00:15:46,813 --> 00:15:47,911
-kev, put a lid on it.
418
00:15:47,913 --> 00:15:50,381
I got to get this finished
By tomorrow.
419
00:15:50,383 --> 00:15:52,416
-sure.
420
00:15:52,418 --> 00:15:53,684
-sure.
421
00:15:53,686 --> 00:15:55,319
-[ sighs ]
422
00:15:55,321 --> 00:15:58,622
[ television plays
Indistinctly ]
423
00:15:58,624 --> 00:16:02,726
-except I kept thinkingabout mom and paul.
424
00:16:02,728 --> 00:16:07,297
why had she told him aboutdonald perman and not me?
425
00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:09,666
not that I felt threatenedor anything.
426
00:16:09,668 --> 00:16:11,569
it's just...Well...
427
00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:15,072
was it possible,just possible, that...
428
00:16:15,074 --> 00:16:16,941
-mom liked you best!
429
00:16:16,943 --> 00:16:18,175
Mom liked you best!
430
00:16:18,177 --> 00:16:20,077
-mom liked you best!
431
00:16:20,079 --> 00:16:21,812
[ soundtrack laughter ]
432
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,313
-you lower your voice!
433
00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:25,649
-[ deep voice ]
Mom liked you best!
434
00:16:25,651 --> 00:16:27,251
-hi, everybody!
435
00:16:27,253 --> 00:16:28,619
We're home!
436
00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:30,287
[ door closes ]
437
00:16:30,289 --> 00:16:31,155
-great.
438
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:33,490
the woman in black...
439
00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:34,925
-[ sighs ]
440
00:16:34,927 --> 00:16:38,562
-...And her teenaged lothario.
441
00:16:38,564 --> 00:16:40,030
-hey.
442
00:16:42,134 --> 00:16:43,834
-hey.
443
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:47,204
-okay, it was time to put thisfour-eyed romeo in his place.
444
00:16:47,206 --> 00:16:49,506
-have a nice time?
445
00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:51,742
-missed a great evening, honey.
446
00:16:53,512 --> 00:16:55,712
Paul and I had
The most wonderful time.
447
00:16:55,714 --> 00:16:56,914
-mm-hmm.
448
00:16:56,916 --> 00:16:58,782
It was the most beautiful music.
449
00:16:58,784 --> 00:17:02,753
-but I guess I already knewit wasn't paul I was angry at.
450
00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:04,988
-anyone for some hot cocoa?
451
00:17:04,990 --> 00:17:07,058
-it was mom.
452
00:17:08,427 --> 00:17:11,228
-I'd love some.
453
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:21,105
-I could have used some cocoamyself.
454
00:17:21,107 --> 00:17:24,575
but I couldn't go in there,because it was pretty clear now
455
00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:29,046
whatever was going onbetween my mother and paul...
456
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:32,215
was just between my motherand paul.
457
00:17:32,217 --> 00:17:34,818
-I've always loved beethoven.
458
00:17:34,820 --> 00:17:36,687
-um...
459
00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:39,223
I got this for you.
460
00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:41,725
It's from my mother's garden.
461
00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,360
-well, thank you.
462
00:17:43,362 --> 00:17:46,430
It's a beautiful rose, paul.
463
00:17:46,432 --> 00:17:49,666
-sure. What was next,a formal proposal?
464
00:17:49,668 --> 00:17:53,704
-which is why you shouldn't
Waste it on me.
465
00:17:56,475 --> 00:17:58,409
-but you have to take it.
466
00:17:58,411 --> 00:17:59,776
I'm allergic.
467
00:17:59,778 --> 00:18:03,213
-[ chuckles ]
468
00:18:03,215 --> 00:18:04,781
-[ chuckles ]
469
00:18:04,783 --> 00:18:07,684
-there's gonna be a lot of very
Wonderful girls in your life
470
00:18:07,686 --> 00:18:09,887
Who would die to get a rose
From you.
471
00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:11,622
-[ chuckles ] I doubt it.
472
00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:13,524
-I don't.
473
00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:16,760
You're a very special person,
Paul.
474
00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:18,395
-and I guess there wassomething
475
00:18:18,397 --> 00:18:20,063
in the way she said it
476
00:18:20,065 --> 00:18:21,499
that made me understand.
477
00:18:21,501 --> 00:18:23,667
-and I hope
You never get contacts,
478
00:18:23,669 --> 00:18:25,268
Because you don't need them.
479
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:27,538
-mom wasn't breaking my heart.
480
00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:30,874
she was breaking paul's...
481
00:18:30,876 --> 00:18:32,176
without breaking it.
482
00:18:34,079 --> 00:18:35,613
-I guess I better go.
483
00:18:38,283 --> 00:18:40,751
-I had a great time.
484
00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:42,386
Thank you.
485
00:18:42,388 --> 00:18:44,622
-me, too.
486
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,828
Thanks, mrs. Arnold.
487
00:18:55,368 --> 00:18:57,701
-and in that moment,
488
00:18:57,703 --> 00:19:01,471
I began to realizea lot of things.
489
00:19:05,777 --> 00:19:08,145
maybe my mother didn't goto the concert with paul
490
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,780
because she thoughthe was special,
491
00:19:09,782 --> 00:19:11,949
but because he thought
She was special,
492
00:19:11,951 --> 00:19:15,653
special enough to ask,"Where's my jersey?
493
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:17,487
"What's for dinner?" or...
494
00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:19,323
-who took the tv guide?
495
00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:22,393
-oh, try wayne's room
Under his pillow.
496
00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:24,094
Or maybe it's behind karen's
Record player.
497
00:19:24,096 --> 00:19:27,364
-supposed to stay on the --
-I know.
498
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:32,102
-I guess dad realized it, too.
499
00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:34,804
So...You had a good time?
500
00:19:37,543 --> 00:19:40,010
-mm-hmm.
501
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:42,779
-yeah, well...
502
00:19:42,781 --> 00:19:45,648
Isn't there supposed to be
Another one of these things?
503
00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:51,622
-next month.
504
00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:53,023
-huh.
505
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:54,958
So, uh...
506
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:56,927
we'll go.
507
00:19:59,231 --> 00:20:01,599
-okay.
508
00:20:01,601 --> 00:20:03,133
-okay.
509
00:20:08,073 --> 00:20:11,575
-the night paul pfeiffergave my mom a rose,
510
00:20:11,577 --> 00:20:14,645
he gave me something, too.
511
00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:17,615
he gave me a new wayof seeing her.
512
00:20:23,322 --> 00:20:26,090
-I guess paul's
Not gonna drink his.
513
00:20:26,092 --> 00:20:27,524
Could I have some?
514
00:20:27,526 --> 00:20:29,493
-I was making it for you.
515
00:20:38,004 --> 00:20:39,403
-paul made my mother feel good
516
00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:42,239
because he didn't look at herthe way we always did.
517
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:45,976
we saw mom,and he saw norma arnold.
518
00:20:45,978 --> 00:20:49,413
and I think she liked that,for a change.
519
00:20:49,415 --> 00:20:51,715
-mom?
-mm-hmm?
520
00:20:51,717 --> 00:20:54,285
-did you really audition
To sing for a commercial?
521
00:20:54,287 --> 00:20:57,154
-oh! It was a radio commercial.
522
00:20:57,156 --> 00:20:58,355
-yeah?
523
00:20:58,357 --> 00:21:00,157
-for axle grease.
524
00:21:00,159 --> 00:21:03,494
[ both laugh ]
525
00:21:03,496 --> 00:21:05,362
Do you know
What axle grease is?
526
00:21:05,364 --> 00:21:06,663
-mnh-mnh.
527
00:21:06,665 --> 00:21:08,331
-it's the grease
That they put in trucks...
528
00:21:08,333 --> 00:21:09,700
-that night, I found out
529
00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:11,234
my mother once got sentto the principal's office
530
00:21:11,236 --> 00:21:12,936
for smoking in the bathroom
531
00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:15,606
and that she almostmarried someone else,
532
00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:17,440
until she met my dad.
533
00:21:17,442 --> 00:21:19,776
I learned a lot about her --
534
00:21:19,778 --> 00:21:23,079
about who she was,who she'd been...
535
00:21:24,650 --> 00:21:26,316
...About who she wanted to be.
536
00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:33,223
and the next morning,she was mom again --
537
00:21:33,225 --> 00:21:35,358
our straight man.
538
00:21:35,360 --> 00:21:37,628
only, this time, I knew better.
539
00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:40,196
[ indistinct conversation ]
540
00:21:42,100 --> 00:21:47,137
-♪ unforgettable ♪
541
00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:52,809
♪ in every way ♪
542
00:21:52,811 --> 00:21:58,181
♪ and forever more ♪
543
00:21:58,183 --> 00:22:04,421
♪ that's how you'll stay ♪
544
00:22:04,423 --> 00:22:08,258
♪ that's why, darling ♪
545
00:22:08,260 --> 00:22:11,562
♪ it's incredible ♪
546
00:22:11,564 --> 00:22:13,697
♪ that someone ♪
547
00:22:13,699 --> 00:22:17,233
♪ so unforgettable ♪
548
00:22:17,235 --> 00:22:20,604
♪ thinks that I'm ♪
549
00:22:20,606 --> 00:22:24,575
♪ unforgettable ♪
550
00:22:24,577 --> 00:22:29,947
♪ too ♪
40021
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.