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1
00:00:25,048 --> 00:00:31,048
Sync && corrections by XhmikosR
www.addic7ed.com
2
00:00:34,749 --> 00:00:36,834
Wow. I don't know
who this Brown Betty is,
3
00:00:36,902 --> 00:00:39,737
but she knows her way
around an apple.
4
00:00:39,805 --> 00:00:41,005
Can I have a bite?
5
00:00:45,344 --> 00:00:49,580
- Oh, my god.
- I'll get it for you.
6
00:00:52,351 --> 00:00:55,553
Mmm! Mmm, that's good!
7
00:00:55,621 --> 00:00:56,821
How great is this place?
8
00:00:56,889 --> 00:00:59,673
The greatest! Off the hook,
as the kids like to say.
9
00:00:59,741 --> 00:01:02,093
I mean, the ambience,
the view.
10
00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:03,862
I mean, look at the sun
going down over that bluff.
11
00:01:03,929 --> 00:01:05,630
And you know, I've never
been a big fan
12
00:01:05,698 --> 00:01:08,749
of the "sunset",
but that's pretty great.
13
00:01:08,817 --> 00:01:11,585
How lucky were we just
to stumble onto this spot?
14
00:01:11,653 --> 00:01:14,505
Thank god there was a
shooting at that waffle place.
15
00:01:20,379 --> 00:01:21,929
Huh.
16
00:01:21,964 --> 00:01:23,230
That was weird.
17
00:01:23,298 --> 00:01:24,415
What?
18
00:01:24,483 --> 00:01:25,950
I don't know. I--
19
00:01:26,017 --> 00:01:27,651
when I kissed you, my
heart was beating all fast,
20
00:01:27,719 --> 00:01:30,154
and-I don't know-
felt all warm inside.
21
00:01:30,222 --> 00:01:33,391
You think something
was wrong with the shrimp?
22
00:01:33,458 --> 00:01:35,509
No.
Believe it or not,
23
00:01:35,577 --> 00:01:37,444
I think it's love.
24
00:01:37,512 --> 00:01:40,398
- Shut up!
- I'm serious!
25
00:01:40,465 --> 00:01:42,305
And I'm not just saying
it to get sex from you.
26
00:01:42,367 --> 00:01:43,617
- Really?
- Yeah.
27
00:01:43,685 --> 00:01:45,002
I mean, if you started
doing stuff to me
28
00:01:45,070 --> 00:01:46,604
under the table,
I don't think I'd stop you,
29
00:01:46,672 --> 00:01:48,772
but... it's not about that.
30
00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:53,311
You know, I feel like I'm falling
in love with you all over again.
31
00:01:53,378 --> 00:01:54,728
In fact, if we
weren't married,
32
00:01:54,796 --> 00:01:57,881
I'd be proposing to you
right here, right now.
33
00:01:57,949 --> 00:01:59,117
Oh!
34
00:01:59,184 --> 00:02:00,785
And you'd be looking
into my eyes saying,
35
00:02:00,853 --> 00:02:02,954
"give me a couple of
days to think about it."
36
00:02:03,021 --> 00:02:04,455
Stop!
37
00:02:04,523 --> 00:02:07,141
Hey, you know, I have an idea.
38
00:02:07,209 --> 00:02:09,293
Eh, forget it.
It's stupid.
39
00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:10,895
What?
40
00:02:14,199 --> 00:02:16,867
Have, like,
a whole ceremony here.
41
00:02:16,935 --> 00:02:18,335
On the bluff.
42
00:02:18,403 --> 00:02:19,854
- I don't love it.
- You don't?
43
00:02:19,921 --> 00:02:22,122
I super love it!
44
00:02:22,190 --> 00:02:24,174
Really? How great
is this gonna be?
45
00:02:24,243 --> 00:02:26,477
We'll invite all
our friends, our family,
46
00:02:26,545 --> 00:02:29,380
we'll get it catered, we'll
have someone playing the flute.
47
00:02:29,448 --> 00:02:30,728
Hey, I can finally
get my monkey.
48
00:02:33,435 --> 00:02:35,636
What's that, baby?
49
00:02:35,704 --> 00:02:36,987
Remember at our wedding,
I always wanted to have
50
00:02:37,055 --> 00:02:40,090
a monkey walk down the aisle
and hand me the ring.
51
00:02:40,158 --> 00:02:42,610
Yeah. Yeah!
52
00:02:42,678 --> 00:02:45,913
No reason you can't have
your monkey this time.
53
00:02:45,980 --> 00:02:48,082
Sweet.
54
00:02:51,536 --> 00:02:54,538
Darling, allow me
to hearken you back
55
00:02:54,607 --> 00:02:58,476
to a bleak December day
in the midst of World War II
56
00:02:58,543 --> 00:03:01,379
when a young Arthur
Spooner saved the life
57
00:03:01,447 --> 00:03:04,581
of a fellow soldier
named Rusty Bubbico.
58
00:03:04,649 --> 00:03:07,184
OK, is this
a random hearkening,
59
00:03:07,252 --> 00:03:08,986
or are you going
somewhere with this?
60
00:03:09,053 --> 00:03:10,738
OK, I'm going somewhere.
61
00:03:10,805 --> 00:03:12,423
OK.
62
00:03:12,491 --> 00:03:16,861
We visited the red
light district one night,
63
00:03:16,929 --> 00:03:20,965
and I fronted him
a prophylactic.
64
00:03:21,033 --> 00:03:23,935
Gonorrhea was the flavor
of the month back then.
65
00:03:24,003 --> 00:03:26,154
So it's a love story.
66
00:03:26,221 --> 00:03:28,439
Heh heh! It is now.
67
00:03:28,507 --> 00:03:32,243
He gave me a fine bottle of port
wine as his way of saying thanks.
68
00:03:32,310 --> 00:03:33,978
I've been saving it
all these years,
69
00:03:34,046 --> 00:03:35,312
and I've decided to
give it to you two
70
00:03:35,380 --> 00:03:37,348
on the day
you renew your vows.
71
00:03:37,415 --> 00:03:40,200
Oh! That's very generous.
Thank you, dad.
72
00:03:40,268 --> 00:03:42,085
My pleasure, darling.
73
00:03:43,488 --> 00:03:45,540
OK, ma, well,
it's 3 weeks from today,
74
00:03:45,607 --> 00:03:47,775
so you better start
working on a flight out.
75
00:03:47,842 --> 00:03:50,344
We will. Joe,
we should use our miles.
76
00:03:50,411 --> 00:03:51,946
I'm sure that weekend
will be blacked out.
77
00:03:52,013 --> 00:03:55,082
They always black out the weekends
we want to use the miles.
78
00:03:55,150 --> 00:03:56,817
We'll be there
with bells on, darling.
79
00:03:56,885 --> 00:03:58,018
Like that yogurt place.
80
00:03:58,086 --> 00:03:59,871
They stopped taking
those punch cards
81
00:03:59,938 --> 00:04:01,688
just before I was due
for my free cone.
82
00:04:01,756 --> 00:04:03,090
It's all a scam.
83
00:04:03,158 --> 00:04:05,092
Yeah, I'm sure
that the yogurt place
84
00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:06,560
and the airlines
are in cahoots.
85
00:04:06,628 --> 00:04:07,762
Focus, ma. OK?
86
00:04:07,829 --> 00:04:08,963
You got your whole life
to talk to him.
87
00:04:09,030 --> 00:04:11,115
Sorry, dear.
Listen, don't forget
88
00:04:11,183 --> 00:04:13,350
to invite our friends
Smitty and Jules.
89
00:04:13,418 --> 00:04:16,186
I don't even know
who they are.
90
00:04:16,254 --> 00:04:17,922
You know Smitty and Jules.
91
00:04:17,990 --> 00:04:19,373
OK, not only
don't I know them,
92
00:04:19,441 --> 00:04:20,441
I don't even know
which one's the man
93
00:04:20,509 --> 00:04:22,543
and which one's the woman.
94
00:04:22,611 --> 00:04:24,796
I'll tell them to
expect an invitation.
95
00:04:24,863 --> 00:04:26,246
OK, fine, ma. All right,
I'll talk to you later.
96
00:04:26,315 --> 00:04:27,782
- I gotta go.
- OK, bye-bye, sweetheart.
97
00:04:27,849 --> 00:04:29,784
All right, bye.
98
00:04:29,851 --> 00:04:33,354
Now back to the important
stuff-finding us a monkey.
99
00:04:33,422 --> 00:04:35,940
Monkey, monkey, monkey.
100
00:04:36,008 --> 00:04:38,893
"Mirrors, money orders,
monograms, mufflers."
101
00:04:38,961 --> 00:04:40,027
Where's "monkey"?
102
00:04:40,095 --> 00:04:42,563
How does monkey not have,
like, 2 full pages?
103
00:04:43,765 --> 00:04:46,367
Yeah, Doug, about the
whole monkey thing,
104
00:04:46,435 --> 00:04:48,469
I was just thinking
that, you know,
105
00:04:48,537 --> 00:04:51,205
maybe a vow renewal
monkey is a waste.
106
00:04:51,272 --> 00:04:53,040
You know, maybe we should
save it for something
107
00:04:53,107 --> 00:04:55,710
a little bit more festive,
like a Cinco de Mayo monkey.
108
00:04:55,777 --> 00:04:57,845
You know, get him a sombrero,
109
00:04:57,912 --> 00:04:59,780
a little cap gun
six-shooter.
110
00:04:59,848 --> 00:05:02,416
You know-pow!
You know?
111
00:05:02,484 --> 00:05:04,452
Hmm. I don't know. I don't
know if I feel comfortable
112
00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:05,653
degrading a monkey that way.
113
00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:08,389
Let's-let's
just stick with the plan.
114
00:05:08,657 --> 00:05:10,057
OK.
115
00:05:17,816 --> 00:05:20,885
It's open.
116
00:05:20,952 --> 00:05:23,921
Arthur, you know you shouldn't
leave the door unlocked like that.
117
00:05:23,988 --> 00:05:27,558
I mean, any freak can just
walk in off the street.
118
00:05:29,377 --> 00:05:30,394
Oh, very funny.
119
00:05:30,462 --> 00:05:33,597
Um, I'm returning
Carrie's copy of The Hours.
120
00:05:33,665 --> 00:05:36,768
Let her know I thought
it was haunting.
121
00:05:36,835 --> 00:05:38,970
What have you got there?
122
00:05:39,037 --> 00:05:40,837
A bottle of port I'm
giving to Doug and Carrie
123
00:05:40,873 --> 00:05:43,174
for their vow renewal.
It's my little way of saying
124
00:05:43,242 --> 00:05:45,042
how special they are to me.
125
00:05:45,110 --> 00:05:48,479
A Dugahno Novidade. This
thing's worth a bundle.
126
00:05:48,546 --> 00:05:50,247
- Really?
- Oh, sure.
127
00:05:50,315 --> 00:05:54,551
A member of my wine enthusiasts
club bought one for over $1,200.
128
00:05:54,619 --> 00:05:56,420
- Oh, my god!
- Yeah.
129
00:05:56,488 --> 00:05:59,690
You see, the reason
it's so rare
130
00:05:59,758 --> 00:06:02,593
is that year there was an early
frost, so the grape harvest--
131
00:06:02,661 --> 00:06:05,863
Message received, stubby.
132
00:06:05,931 --> 00:06:08,032
Why are you
so bent out of shape?
133
00:06:08,099 --> 00:06:09,116
Don't you get it?
134
00:06:09,184 --> 00:06:11,619
I promised to give this
to Douglas and Carrie.
135
00:06:11,687 --> 00:06:14,955
Damn it. Why didn't I just
make them another birdhouse?
136
00:06:21,446 --> 00:06:23,881
Wedding vow renewal, huh?
137
00:06:23,948 --> 00:06:28,352
What you plan on doing,
you know, best man-wise?
138
00:06:28,419 --> 00:06:29,887
Is it gonna be Deacon again?
139
00:06:29,955 --> 00:06:33,623
Because at your wedding, you picked him
and, you know, not me,
140
00:06:33,691 --> 00:06:38,529
and not that I really cared,
but it was... weird.
141
00:06:38,596 --> 00:06:41,815
Actually, you know what? I'm
not going with a best man.
142
00:06:41,883 --> 00:06:43,284
Uh, hello!
143
00:06:43,351 --> 00:06:45,685
Someone has to hand you the
wedding ring. It's tradition.
144
00:06:45,753 --> 00:06:48,555
Yeah. I'm having
a monkey do that.
145
00:06:48,623 --> 00:06:50,157
What?
146
00:06:50,224 --> 00:06:51,459
Yeah, I was gonna go
with a spider monkey,
147
00:06:51,526 --> 00:06:54,328
and then I decided you
only get married again once,
148
00:06:54,396 --> 00:06:56,163
so I'm going with a chimp.
149
00:06:56,230 --> 00:06:57,931
That's your Cadillac
of monkeys.
150
00:06:57,999 --> 00:06:59,266
Wait a minute here.
Hold on.
151
00:06:59,334 --> 00:07:01,902
I lost out
on being best man...
152
00:07:01,970 --> 00:07:03,453
To a monkey?
153
00:07:03,521 --> 00:07:05,355
Not by much.
154
00:07:05,423 --> 00:07:07,675
I can't believe this.
155
00:07:07,742 --> 00:07:08,593
How can I help you?
156
00:07:08,660 --> 00:07:10,010
Oh, OK, uh, well,
157
00:07:10,077 --> 00:07:11,311
my wife and I,
we're renewing our vows,
158
00:07:11,379 --> 00:07:14,248
and we need to rent some
chairs and tables and stuff.
159
00:07:14,315 --> 00:07:15,816
Here's the date,
there's the time.
160
00:07:15,884 --> 00:07:17,818
Now, do I need to leave
you a deposit or you--
161
00:07:17,886 --> 00:07:19,036
First things first.
162
00:07:19,104 --> 00:07:21,638
What kind of chairs
did you want?
163
00:07:21,706 --> 00:07:23,557
Uh...
164
00:07:23,625 --> 00:07:27,795
The kind you, uh, sit on.
165
00:07:28,463 --> 00:07:30,882
We offer 11 different styles.
166
00:07:30,949 --> 00:07:32,283
Flat back, arched,
faux bamboo.
167
00:07:32,351 --> 00:07:35,219
I'm obliged to also
mention bean bag chairs,
168
00:07:35,287 --> 00:07:39,190
but I forbid you. Sit down
and I'll go get our catalog.
169
00:07:39,258 --> 00:07:40,374
OK.
170
00:07:43,712 --> 00:07:46,314
"The Beastie boy"?
171
00:07:46,381 --> 00:07:47,915
Oh, that's my monkey guy.
172
00:07:49,484 --> 00:07:53,237
Hello. Hey! So we're
good to go on the 18th?
173
00:07:55,073 --> 00:07:56,873
What?
174
00:07:56,941 --> 00:07:59,176
Ohh. Can't Fleischman Toyota
175
00:07:59,244 --> 00:08:01,778
have their "Going bananas"
sale without him?
176
00:08:03,164 --> 00:08:05,566
OK, fine. Um,
so I guess we'll go
177
00:08:05,633 --> 00:08:08,802
with that spider monkey.
178
00:08:08,870 --> 00:08:11,739
Oh, my god.
I'm so sorry.
179
00:08:11,806 --> 00:08:14,007
OK, then. Thanks.
180
00:08:14,075 --> 00:08:15,910
I can't believe this.
I can't get my monkey.
181
00:08:15,977 --> 00:08:17,912
Oh, can't you?
182
00:08:17,979 --> 00:08:20,281
Well, maybe
I'm not available now.
183
00:08:20,348 --> 00:08:21,382
All right.
184
00:08:21,449 --> 00:08:23,284
No, no, I'll do it,
I'll do it.
185
00:08:25,420 --> 00:08:30,457
Yes, hi. I'm looking for
Maria Ferraro, the flutist.
186
00:08:30,525 --> 00:08:32,209
This is she.
The flautist.
187
00:08:32,277 --> 00:08:34,661
Hey, potay-to,
potah-to, right?
188
00:08:34,730 --> 00:08:36,997
It's flautist.
189
00:08:37,065 --> 00:08:39,499
Right. Anyway, my husband
and I were thinking
190
00:08:39,567 --> 00:08:41,802
about hiring you
for our vow renewal,
191
00:08:41,870 --> 00:08:44,504
and I was just wondering if I could
hear you play a little something.
192
00:08:44,572 --> 00:08:46,840
Well, the phone isn't
really the best medium.
193
00:08:46,908 --> 00:08:50,511
Either flaut or
get off the pot, OK?
194
00:08:54,682 --> 00:08:58,419
Uh, hello? Would you just
hold on for one second, OK?
195
00:08:58,486 --> 00:09:01,354
Hello? Miss?
Yoo-hoo!
196
00:09:02,757 --> 00:09:05,559
Be right back.
Hello.
197
00:09:05,627 --> 00:09:07,761
Hi, darling.
I was just thinking
198
00:09:07,829 --> 00:09:10,163
instead of that
stodgy old port wine,
199
00:09:10,231 --> 00:09:11,998
how about if I float you
a delightful bottle
200
00:09:12,066 --> 00:09:14,802
of peach schnapps?
Nearly full.
201
00:09:14,869 --> 00:09:18,972
Well, dad, I kind of had my
heart set on trying the port.
202
00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:22,309
Uh-huh. What about
if I throw in a canned ham?
203
00:09:23,678 --> 00:09:26,680
All right, I gotta go. I'll
talk to you later. Hello?
204
00:09:26,748 --> 00:09:28,582
Hey, I need you
to decide on a table.
205
00:09:28,650 --> 00:09:30,851
They have round, oval,
square, rectangle,
206
00:09:30,919 --> 00:09:32,385
one in that
stop-sign shape--
207
00:09:32,454 --> 00:09:33,721
I'm on the other line
right now, honey.
208
00:09:33,789 --> 00:09:35,372
Listen, I am very close
to blacking out.
209
00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:37,457
Please pick a shape.
210
00:09:37,525 --> 00:09:39,010
I am on the other line
with the flute lady.
211
00:09:39,077 --> 00:09:40,237
- Wait a second.
- No, I gotta go.
212
00:09:40,245 --> 00:09:42,179
I'll talk to you at home.
OK, bye.
213
00:09:42,247 --> 00:09:45,316
That sounded great.
214
00:09:46,718 --> 00:09:50,654
Hello?
You still there?
215
00:09:50,722 --> 00:09:53,257
Where are you?
216
00:09:53,325 --> 00:09:58,262
I think the more appropriate
question is where were you?
217
00:09:58,330 --> 00:10:00,731
Oh, um, I'm sorry.
See, what happened was--
218
00:10:07,355 --> 00:10:09,322
Ugh! This party!
219
00:10:09,390 --> 00:10:10,958
Are all flautists bitches?
220
00:10:11,025 --> 00:10:13,026
Because I know 3 of them are.
221
00:10:13,094 --> 00:10:15,629
And the bakery won't
deliver to the bluff,
222
00:10:15,697 --> 00:10:17,631
so we gotta drive 25 miles
223
00:10:17,699 --> 00:10:20,501
with a 4-foot-high cake
strapped to our hood.
224
00:10:20,568 --> 00:10:22,536
And port-a-potties
are a fortune.
225
00:10:22,604 --> 00:10:27,574
Can't we just tell everybody on the
invitation to come having peed?
226
00:10:27,642 --> 00:10:29,275
What's the matter with you?
227
00:10:29,343 --> 00:10:31,662
Mr. Bongo's a whore.
228
00:10:31,730 --> 00:10:33,013
What?
229
00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:35,015
He blew us off
because he got a job
230
00:10:35,083 --> 00:10:37,985
working a Toyota dealership
with Phil Simms.
231
00:10:38,053 --> 00:10:40,120
Oh, I'm sorry, baby.
232
00:10:42,456 --> 00:10:44,925
Who would've thought that a
beautiful thing like a vow renewal
233
00:10:44,993 --> 00:10:47,161
would be such
a pain in the ass?
234
00:10:47,228 --> 00:10:48,662
I know.
235
00:10:48,730 --> 00:10:51,198
But you're still
into it, right?
236
00:10:51,265 --> 00:10:52,733
Yeah.
237
00:10:52,801 --> 00:10:53,901
I mean, if you are.
238
00:10:53,968 --> 00:10:56,803
No, I am.
239
00:10:56,871 --> 00:10:59,273
I'd be willing not to,
though, if you--
240
00:10:59,340 --> 00:11:00,023
- OK.
- Really?
241
00:11:00,091 --> 00:11:01,926
- Yeah.
- Oh, my god!
242
00:11:01,993 --> 00:11:05,579
I am so relieved! We are
killing ourselves here.
243
00:11:05,647 --> 00:11:07,297
Yes!
244
00:11:07,365 --> 00:11:08,749
Oh, I'm so happy
we're not doing this.
245
00:11:08,816 --> 00:11:10,083
What were we thinking?
246
00:11:10,151 --> 00:11:11,218
I know! I mean,
we already did our vows.
247
00:11:11,286 --> 00:11:12,319
We said them once.
248
00:11:12,387 --> 00:11:13,821
They never go bad.
They're like Twinkies.
249
00:11:13,889 --> 00:11:15,155
Right!
250
00:11:15,223 --> 00:11:16,106
Hey, kids, don't mind me.
251
00:11:16,174 --> 00:11:17,825
Just dropping off
some literature.
252
00:11:17,892 --> 00:11:19,893
Apparently, they found
a link between port wine
253
00:11:19,961 --> 00:11:22,496
and irritable bowel syndrome.
254
00:11:22,564 --> 00:11:23,964
Oh, that's OK, dad.
255
00:11:24,031 --> 00:11:25,866
We decided not
to renew our vows.
256
00:11:25,933 --> 00:11:29,436
Oh, well, that's too bad.
257
00:11:29,504 --> 00:11:31,589
Hot dog!
258
00:11:35,176 --> 00:11:36,577
Hello.
259
00:11:36,644 --> 00:11:38,712
- Dougie, it's mom.
- Hey, ma.
260
00:11:38,779 --> 00:11:40,898
I just wanted you to
know Smitty is diabetic
261
00:11:40,965 --> 00:11:44,434
and is wondering if you're gonna
have splenda packets on the table.
262
00:11:44,502 --> 00:11:48,521
Oh, well, you can tell him...
or her not to worry
263
00:11:48,590 --> 00:11:50,323
because we're calling
the whole thing off.
264
00:11:50,391 --> 00:11:51,625
What?
265
00:11:51,693 --> 00:11:52,409
Yeah, you know what?
266
00:11:52,477 --> 00:11:55,395
It just turned into a huge pain,
and we just decided to bag it.
267
00:11:55,463 --> 00:11:58,232
Oh. I see.
268
00:12:00,435 --> 00:12:05,439
Well, I'll tell Smitty,
and, uh, that's that, then.
269
00:12:05,506 --> 00:12:08,108
OK, ma, then say hi to dad,
and I'll talk to you soon.
270
00:12:08,175 --> 00:12:10,210
- Good-bye, sweetheart.
- Bye.
271
00:12:10,278 --> 00:12:13,213
Joe! The kids are in trouble!
272
00:12:17,652 --> 00:12:19,436
Hey, Carrie.
273
00:12:19,504 --> 00:12:22,072
I need you to 3-hole-punch
this set of papers,
274
00:12:22,140 --> 00:12:23,741
and 2-hole-punch
this set,
275
00:12:23,808 --> 00:12:26,243
and remember to save
those little circles--
276
00:12:26,310 --> 00:12:28,011
For new year's Eve
confetti. I know.
277
00:12:28,079 --> 00:12:29,146
OK. You're the best.
278
00:12:29,213 --> 00:12:30,480
Mm-hmm.
279
00:12:30,549 --> 00:12:33,751
Oh, by the way, I'm coming
solo to your vow renewal.
280
00:12:33,818 --> 00:12:34,884
I figure romantic setting,
281
00:12:34,952 --> 00:12:36,653
why bring an old cow along
282
00:12:36,721 --> 00:12:39,923
when there are new calves
for the lassoing?
283
00:12:39,990 --> 00:12:43,059
You didn't hear? We
canceled the whole thing.
284
00:12:43,127 --> 00:12:45,646
Oh. Sorry.
That's too bad.
285
00:12:45,713 --> 00:12:48,915
Oh, no, no. It's OK.
It just became a hassle.
286
00:12:48,983 --> 00:12:51,601
A hassle. Mm-hmm.
287
00:12:53,137 --> 00:12:57,875
You know, Carrie, we have a policy
for what we call crisis leave.
288
00:12:57,943 --> 00:12:59,309
Yeah, no, I know.
289
00:12:59,377 --> 00:13:03,180
I remember from
when you took yours.
290
00:13:03,248 --> 00:13:04,648
But, no, we're fine.
Doug and I are great.
291
00:13:04,716 --> 00:13:06,516
We've never been better.
292
00:13:06,584 --> 00:13:08,568
Right.
293
00:13:16,177 --> 00:13:19,697
Hey, kiddo. I just heard
you called things off.
294
00:13:19,764 --> 00:13:21,498
You OK?
295
00:13:26,104 --> 00:13:27,270
Yeah?
296
00:13:29,039 --> 00:13:30,641
Talk to me, guy.
297
00:13:30,708 --> 00:13:32,008
Excuse me?
298
00:13:32,076 --> 00:13:33,126
Talk to me.
299
00:13:33,194 --> 00:13:34,427
About what?
300
00:13:34,496 --> 00:13:37,464
Talk... to... me.
301
00:13:37,532 --> 00:13:39,199
Hey!
302
00:13:39,266 --> 00:13:42,052
Look, I heard you
were canceling your vows.
303
00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:45,288
I - I had no idea things
were this bad with you two.
304
00:13:45,356 --> 00:13:46,640
It's not bad. What
are you talking about?
305
00:13:46,708 --> 00:13:48,475
It just became a big
pain, that's all.
306
00:13:48,543 --> 00:13:51,161
Hey, when I accepted
307
00:13:51,229 --> 00:13:53,230
your invitation
to be your best man,
308
00:13:53,297 --> 00:13:56,366
I didn't just sign up
for the good times.
309
00:13:56,434 --> 00:14:01,338
I consider it a responsibility,
and I take it very seriously.
310
00:14:01,405 --> 00:14:03,023
You were supposed
to be a monkey.
311
00:14:03,091 --> 00:14:05,124
Shh!
312
00:14:05,192 --> 00:14:06,810
Easy.
313
00:14:06,877 --> 00:14:08,912
It's me here.
314
00:14:08,980 --> 00:14:12,166
Take off the mask.
315
00:14:12,233 --> 00:14:14,752
Let me see your face.
316
00:14:14,819 --> 00:14:16,170
OK, you know what? You're
right. You're right, man.
317
00:14:16,237 --> 00:14:18,072
We should talk, but, uh,
318
00:14:18,139 --> 00:14:19,306
I'll tell you what.
These walls have ears,
319
00:14:19,373 --> 00:14:20,373
so let's go outside
and do it out there.
320
00:14:20,441 --> 00:14:21,441
Oh, good call, buddy.
321
00:14:21,509 --> 00:14:22,442
Yeah, totally.
322
00:14:22,510 --> 00:14:24,678
Ahem. OK.
323
00:14:30,267 --> 00:14:33,269
- So has anybody bought my port?
- We don't know yet, OK?
324
00:14:33,338 --> 00:14:36,139
This is an on-line auction.
It could go on for days.
325
00:14:36,207 --> 00:14:38,092
Well, I can't
sit here for days.
326
00:14:38,159 --> 00:14:40,076
I mean, the next 2
are fine, but on Thursday,
327
00:14:40,145 --> 00:14:42,379
I'm sampling food
at Costco with Mickey.
328
00:14:44,198 --> 00:14:47,434
The current bid is...
329
00:14:47,502 --> 00:14:50,270
$1,350!
330
00:14:50,337 --> 00:14:52,105
Mamaloshen!
331
00:14:54,325 --> 00:14:57,944
Ohh. Hey, guys. What are
you doing on my computer?
332
00:14:58,012 --> 00:14:59,545
Oh, just, uh...
333
00:14:59,613 --> 00:15:02,599
Looking at pornography,
sweetheart.
334
00:15:02,667 --> 00:15:04,568
Well, good luck with that.
335
00:15:04,636 --> 00:15:06,370
Thank you.
336
00:15:07,571 --> 00:15:11,508
Supermarket
knockoff Advil now!
337
00:15:11,575 --> 00:15:12,842
What's wrong with you?
338
00:15:12,910 --> 00:15:14,378
Oh, work was crazy.
339
00:15:14,445 --> 00:15:16,246
I mean, ever since we
canceled renewing our vows,
340
00:15:16,314 --> 00:15:17,994
everyone thinks our
marriage is in trouble.
341
00:15:18,049 --> 00:15:20,033
They were all like,
"are you OK?
342
00:15:20,185 --> 00:15:21,585
We're here for you, sweetie."
343
00:15:21,653 --> 00:15:24,321
It's so freakin' annoying.
344
00:15:24,389 --> 00:15:26,357
I got the same thing
from Danny,
345
00:15:26,424 --> 00:15:29,693
and the chair guy
invited me out for Sushi.
346
00:15:31,812 --> 00:15:33,863
You know what?
Let the machine get it.
347
00:15:33,931 --> 00:15:36,333
It's probably just Danny
reminding me hugs are free.
348
00:15:38,135 --> 00:15:40,136
Dougie, it's your mother.
349
00:15:40,205 --> 00:15:43,423
I'm gonna try and
say this without crying.
350
00:15:43,491 --> 00:15:47,344
Every marriage
has its potholes...
351
00:15:47,412 --> 00:15:51,098
Oh, god.
It's spread to Florida.
352
00:15:51,165 --> 00:15:54,868
And marriage can be a long
and wonderful winding road.
353
00:15:54,935 --> 00:15:55,735
All right, you know what?
354
00:15:55,803 --> 00:15:59,122
Should we just go through with
this to stop this madness?
355
00:15:59,190 --> 00:16:00,518
Are you crazy? We're
not gonna do it
356
00:16:00,544 --> 00:16:01,800
just to prove
something to people.
357
00:16:01,843 --> 00:16:04,160
Doug, I can't live
like this anymore!
358
00:16:04,228 --> 00:16:05,979
And when trouble
comes into that home--
359
00:16:06,047 --> 00:16:08,282
Oh, for the love of Pete!
Will you leave them alone?
360
00:16:08,349 --> 00:16:10,250
Go back to your program, Joe!
361
00:16:10,318 --> 00:16:13,253
This is a private
conversation.
362
00:16:13,321 --> 00:16:16,272
When you have trouble,
363
00:16:16,340 --> 00:16:19,877
all you need to get through it is
faith in each other and in god.
364
00:16:19,944 --> 00:16:22,913
Oh, great. Now she's got
god in the middle of this.
365
00:16:22,981 --> 00:16:25,565
That's a lot of firepower.
366
00:16:25,632 --> 00:16:27,918
All right, all right,
we'll do it!
367
00:16:27,986 --> 00:16:30,753
Ma, ma, yeah.
Don't worry.
368
00:16:30,821 --> 00:16:33,957
You know what? We're
gonna renew the vows.
369
00:16:34,024 --> 00:16:35,992
Well, I'm glad you're happy.
370
00:16:36,060 --> 00:16:39,446
OK. Bye.
371
00:16:39,514 --> 00:16:41,898
That's a kick in the oblongs.
372
00:16:45,253 --> 00:16:47,704
And it's because of
the love that you two share
373
00:16:47,772 --> 00:16:49,589
that you've chosen
to come together
374
00:16:49,657 --> 00:16:53,026
at this blessed renewal
of your wedding vows.
375
00:16:57,465 --> 00:16:59,149
Am I correct?
376
00:16:59,217 --> 00:17:00,300
Hmm?
377
00:17:00,367 --> 00:17:03,336
Oh. Yeah, yeah. Beautiful
thing, beautiful.
378
00:17:03,404 --> 00:17:07,073
Well, now, are you planning
on writing your own vows?
379
00:17:07,141 --> 00:17:08,591
Gotta be honest
with you, father.
380
00:17:08,660 --> 00:17:11,862
Whatever you
got handy is fine.
381
00:17:11,929 --> 00:17:13,297
Yeah, we'll just
take the standard vows,
382
00:17:13,364 --> 00:17:16,566
and we'll fill in all the
personal stuff, like Mad Libs.
383
00:17:17,751 --> 00:17:23,056
Uh, Doug, uh, Carrie, you do
realize this is a vow renewal.
384
00:17:23,124 --> 00:17:25,258
You don't have to do this.
385
00:17:25,326 --> 00:17:26,927
Oh, no, no, no,
we have to do this.
386
00:17:26,994 --> 00:17:29,229
Yeah, because everyone
we know is all over us
387
00:17:29,296 --> 00:17:31,564
because of her great idea.
388
00:17:31,632 --> 00:17:33,300
Whoa, whoa!
389
00:17:33,367 --> 00:17:35,768
You're not trying to
blame me for this, are you?
390
00:17:35,836 --> 00:17:36,920
All I'm saying is if
you hadn't thought of it,
391
00:17:36,988 --> 00:17:38,889
my mom wouldn't be crying
into our answering machine.
392
00:17:38,956 --> 00:17:40,057
Oh, please, would you?
393
00:17:40,124 --> 00:17:41,374
I'm gonna go get
394
00:17:41,442 --> 00:17:44,327
the Affirmation of Love
pamphlet.
395
00:17:44,395 --> 00:17:46,630
First of all, the only
reason why I thought of it
396
00:17:46,698 --> 00:17:49,616
in the first place is because
you were going on and on
397
00:17:49,684 --> 00:17:52,886
about how much "in love" you
were with me at the restaurant.
398
00:17:52,954 --> 00:17:54,538
And the only reason I
was saying I was "in love"
399
00:17:54,605 --> 00:17:58,141
with you is because you got me
drunk and promised me a monkey.
400
00:17:58,208 --> 00:18:01,478
Oh, yeah, Doug, and that
was a brilliant idea--
401
00:18:01,546 --> 00:18:05,282
take our sacred wedding vows and
turn it into a friggin' circus!
402
00:18:05,349 --> 00:18:07,217
I knew it. You've
always hated my monkey!
403
00:18:07,284 --> 00:18:10,286
- From the beginning!
- Ya think?
404
00:18:10,354 --> 00:18:12,455
Doug, Carrie.
405
00:18:12,523 --> 00:18:17,260
I have a young, happy couple
waiting right outside.
406
00:18:17,328 --> 00:18:18,211
Oh, sorry, father.
407
00:18:18,279 --> 00:18:20,197
- We'll-we'll lower our voices.
- Yeah.
408
00:18:20,265 --> 00:18:23,666
I was wondering if you guys
could, uh, just...
409
00:18:36,698 --> 00:18:38,448
She's 45 minutes late.
410
00:18:38,516 --> 00:18:39,849
I don't think she's coming.
411
00:18:39,917 --> 00:18:41,284
The girl's just a little late.
412
00:18:41,352 --> 00:18:43,786
Scatterbrained is all she is.
413
00:18:43,854 --> 00:18:46,756
I'm not so sure.
Pray with me, Joe.
414
00:18:46,824 --> 00:18:48,858
She'll be here!
415
00:18:48,926 --> 00:18:52,496
You don't know that!
416
00:18:52,563 --> 00:18:53,430
Poor kid.
417
00:18:53,497 --> 00:18:55,017
You know, I saw the
whole thing coming.
418
00:18:55,033 --> 00:18:58,168
Everyone did.
She's been so stressed.
419
00:18:58,236 --> 00:18:59,937
I heard her
yell at a flautist.
420
00:19:00,004 --> 00:19:02,472
Yowch.
421
00:19:02,540 --> 00:19:03,857
This is unbelievable.
422
00:19:03,924 --> 00:19:05,742
You all right, man?
You need anything?
423
00:19:05,809 --> 00:19:07,077
Hey, step off, pal.
424
00:19:07,145 --> 00:19:10,313
I'm the best man.
You had your chance.
425
00:19:10,381 --> 00:19:12,532
I was just gonna ask if
he wanted another soda.
426
00:19:12,599 --> 00:19:14,567
Yeah, well, now I'm gonna ask
him if he wants another soda.
427
00:19:14,635 --> 00:19:15,701
- You want another soda?
- No.
428
00:19:15,769 --> 00:19:17,303
No. He said no. All right.
Take a stroll, babe.
429
00:19:17,371 --> 00:19:18,638
Bye-bye!
430
00:19:20,457 --> 00:19:23,510
Well, folks, looks like Douglas
has been left at the altar.
431
00:19:23,577 --> 00:19:26,613
Let's form an orderly line
and walk away from the bluff,
432
00:19:26,681 --> 00:19:28,014
and any gifts
you may have brought
433
00:19:28,082 --> 00:19:31,284
are obviously yours to keep.
434
00:19:31,352 --> 00:19:33,152
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa!
I haven't been left at the altar!
435
00:19:33,220 --> 00:19:36,022
OK? Carrie will be here.
436
00:19:36,090 --> 00:19:38,458
Our relationship is fine!
437
00:19:38,526 --> 00:19:39,726
It's great!
438
00:19:41,328 --> 00:19:43,497
All right,
look, it's not great.
439
00:19:43,564 --> 00:19:45,766
OK, we're in a huge fight
right now,
440
00:19:45,833 --> 00:19:48,535
and I'm sure
that's why she's late.
441
00:19:48,603 --> 00:19:51,203
But the only reason we're in a big
fight is because of all of you!
442
00:19:51,238 --> 00:19:53,707
That's right,
you, mom, and dad
443
00:19:53,775 --> 00:19:55,575
and Danny and Smitty
444
00:19:55,642 --> 00:19:57,727
or Jules,
whichever one you are,
445
00:19:57,795 --> 00:19:59,712
and girl from Carrie's office
446
00:19:59,780 --> 00:20:01,460
whose name I just
don't remember right now.
447
00:20:01,466 --> 00:20:03,099
- Amy.
- Yeah, Amy! Wow!
448
00:20:03,167 --> 00:20:05,802
I was thinking Darla.
I was way off.
449
00:20:05,870 --> 00:20:07,754
But the point is, this
is all your fault, OK?
450
00:20:07,822 --> 00:20:10,139
So don't judge us.
We didn't want to do this.
451
00:20:10,207 --> 00:20:12,075
We're just doing this for you.
452
00:20:12,142 --> 00:20:14,311
Joe, look!
453
00:20:18,649 --> 00:20:20,733
Oh, damn it.
454
00:20:32,546 --> 00:20:33,679
Sorry I'm late.
455
00:20:33,748 --> 00:20:36,415
I had to make a pit stop
at Fleischman Toyota.
456
00:20:36,483 --> 00:20:38,584
You brought my monkey.
457
00:20:38,652 --> 00:20:40,804
Here's the ring.
458
00:20:40,872 --> 00:20:44,674
And, uh, here's
a toast I wrote.
459
00:20:48,162 --> 00:20:51,498
Listen, Doug, I heard everything
you were saying to everyone,
460
00:20:51,566 --> 00:20:55,202
and I want to tell you that I'm
not doing this for any of them.
461
00:20:55,269 --> 00:20:57,370
I'm doing this for us,
462
00:20:57,438 --> 00:21:01,825
'cause I love you very much.
463
00:21:01,892 --> 00:21:04,160
Now take the monkey,
'cause he smells.
464
00:21:07,831 --> 00:21:12,936
Friends, relatives,
we are gathered here today
465
00:21:13,003 --> 00:21:19,242
for the blessed renewal of the
wedding vows of Doug and Carrie.
466
00:21:31,839 --> 00:21:33,773
Son of a bitch.
467
00:21:38,898 --> 00:21:44,898
Sync && corrections by XhmikosR
www.addic7ed.com
34504
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