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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:08,240 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 2 00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:12,880 Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome back to 3 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:15,440 Play of the Week, where each week a new play is performed 4 00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:19,720 live in front of a studio audience and broadcast to the nation. 5 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:23,920 I am Chris Bean, the fully reinstated director. 6 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:28,880 Following Robert's ambitious turn as director last week, 7 00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:31,240 the cast came crawling back to me 8 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:36,080 and I graciously agreed to take on the mantle of director once more. 9 00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:41,040 Which reminds me... Robert, here are your new lines for this evening. 10 00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:44,280 This is blank. Yes, it is. 11 00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:48,360 Robert and I mutually agreed it would be best for him 12 00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:51,920 to play only non-speaking roles this evening. 13 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:56,280 Tonight's piece is a classic by the great playwright Shakespeare. 14 00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:58,800 To be clear, that's Simon Shakespeare, 15 00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:01,880 the much less well-known and much less well-regarded cousin 16 00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:03,520 of Colin Shakespeare. 17 00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:09,040 So, the actors are prepared, the stage is set. 18 00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:10,440 Please enjoy 19 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:12,960 The Most Lamentable Tragedy Of The Prince Of England 20 00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:15,480 And His Long-lost Twin Brother Prince Regent Of France 21 00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:17,520 And The Problems Therein Experienced By All 22 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:20,120 When They Came To Know Of One Another After A Battle. 23 00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:21,160 APPLAUSE 24 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:25,120 FANFARE 25 00:01:34,320 --> 00:01:35,640 GONG REVERBERATES 26 00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:42,560 A noble king is tended by his wife. 27 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:44,760 Advanced in years, he nears the end of... 28 00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:47,040 GONG 29 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:48,320 ..life. 30 00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:50,760 His kingdom disembowelled by bloody war, 31 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:53,040 where death doth stalk from midland to... 32 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:54,080 GONG 33 00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:56,440 ..the shore. 34 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:04,160 Prince Richard, who was out of wedlock birthed, 35 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:06,960 carries his father's name but not his worth. 36 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:17,480 Queen Isobel would his blood soon spill. 37 00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:20,200 Foul Malcolm plots and for the throne... 38 00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:24,920 ...he'd kill. 39 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:34,680 With the fair lands in turmoil up and down, 40 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:38,440 all men do scheme to try and seize the throne... 41 00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:39,480 Crown. 42 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:43,840 All hail the King! 43 00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:45,760 FANFARE 44 00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:04,560 TRUMPET PARPS 45 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:11,120 A merry trumpet and a bold. 46 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:16,440 But embolden me it doth not, for the body of the king doth canker. 47 00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:18,120 What medicine, my love? 48 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:24,000 For me, there is none. For the kingdom, the remedy be my heir. 49 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:27,080 His heir Richard is no better than air itself, 50 00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:29,840 born as he was of a lowly tavern strumpet. 51 00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:31,800 No son of mine is he. 52 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:34,840 Call forth Eric the Jester. 53 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:36,440 Eric the Jester! 54 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:43,880 My liege, you call me forth but my name is Eric 55 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:46,280 and I am first amongst your court. 56 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:47,680 BELLS JINGLE 57 00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:49,160 ALL CHUCKLE 58 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:51,240 ROBERT GUFFAWS LOUDLY 59 00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:58,160 Good Eric, I called thee to tell you I do ail. 60 00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:00,200 My Lord, we all do ale! 61 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:03,160 And at celebration we may wine too. 62 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:05,680 ALL CHUCKLE 63 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:09,880 ROBERT GUFFAWS 64 00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:18,920 Bring forth... Bring forth... 65 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:22,000 ..the King's... ..the King's... 66 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,800 ..brother! ..brother! 67 00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:24,840 FANFARE 68 00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:43,760 What news, good.... 69 00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:48,360 MUFFLED GRUNTING 70 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:56,640 MUFFLED: What news, good brother? 71 00:04:57,720 --> 00:05:00,520 No news but thy impertinence, Malcolm. 72 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:01,880 Kneel before your King. 73 00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:10,440 LOUD CREAKING 74 00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:17,120 Nay, Malcolm. Let us speak as brothers! 75 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:18,160 Stand. 76 00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:21,640 CREAKING 77 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:26,320 Whoa... 78 00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:33,320 I know my throne thou covet for thyself. 79 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:36,760 MUFFLED SPEECH 80 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:39,480 Nay, Malcolm, if Richard doth beat the French down, 81 00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:42,280 it will be him, not you, that takes the crown. 82 00:05:42,280 --> 00:05:45,360 Call forth Prince Richard! 83 00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:47,440 Bring forth... Bring forth! 84 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:49,440 ..Prince... Prince! 85 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:51,960 ..Richard! Dick! 86 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:58,320 You called for me, father? 87 00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:00,280 TRUMPET PARPS 88 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:05,080 My days grow short, young Richard, 89 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:08,200 and soon this crown shall pass unto thy head. 90 00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:15,360 STRAINING 91 00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:31,440 Behold its dignity and pomp. 92 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:36,280 I shall go forth to war and prove my sword is true. 93 00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:41,320 Well, if thou tastes victory, this crown shall pass to you. 94 00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:43,400 Come, we shall... 95 00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:43,400 SCREAMS 96 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:57,200 P...p...prithee, 97 00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:59,160 where be my man penis? 98 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:01,960 Tis vanish-ed. 99 00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:07,480 The...the spirits must have frowned upon it! 100 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:13,840 And what are these...benetted baps? They... 101 00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:21,000 I must go consult the priest before any more of me is... 102 00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:25,960 ..released. 103 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:31,240 FANFARE 104 00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:40,800 And the court thought he was but an irrelevant trumpeter, 105 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:43,680 but you shall soon see I am most relevant! 106 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:44,960 Non-speaking! 107 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:49,200 FANFARE 108 00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:57,160 Oof! 109 00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:59,120 MUFFLED GROANING 110 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:03,680 I will not see that boy seated upon the throne. 111 00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:06,320 I'd rather see the kingdom in your hand. 112 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,440 MUFFLED: Good, my lady... 113 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:11,840 MUFFLED: You will be my queen. 114 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:15,920 Oh, thou speakest poetry and my heart doth melt. 115 00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:20,200 Now we're alone, spare me one secret kiss. 116 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:26,680 One secret kiss. 117 00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:27,840 We're alone. 118 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:31,480 No, you're not. Yes, we are...prithee. 119 00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:35,960 She wants you to leave. Get off! 120 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:38,240 BELLS JINGLE 121 00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:46,280 One secret kiss. 122 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:51,760 Come on... Just... 123 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:51,760 MUTTERING 124 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:10,800 Now we must be gone before the King sees aught's amiss. 125 00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:24,600 And now away from the King's fine court 126 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:27,800 to a field where a bitter battle is fought. 127 00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:31,800 Each man covered in sweat and blood 128 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:34,960 and every one prepared to die 129 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:37,000 for the common... 130 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:38,520 ..gud. 131 00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:47,440 Argh! 132 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:50,520 GRUNTING 133 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,440 Argh! Argh! 134 00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:57,520 ARGH! 135 00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:01,720 Cannon! Cannon! 136 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:04,080 Load! Load! 137 00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:05,200 Aim! 138 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:06,760 Ooh! 139 00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:08,200 Oof! 140 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:12,960 How fare you, sirrah? 141 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:18,200 Er... Suf-FER-ing GREAT-ly AT the FRENCH-man's HAND 142 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:22,200 but WHO come-ETH yon-DER hill-TOP? 143 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:23,480 A man. 144 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:28,720 Tis Richard, our great prince, upon his steed. 145 00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:30,960 What ho, fine friends. 146 00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:35,560 Steel your courage and stick it to your brother's back for we are one. 147 00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:37,000 Hurrah! 148 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,160 HOO-ray! 149 00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:41,160 Yes! Hooray! Huzzah! 150 00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:47,400 Bravery rule thy head, let valour be thy light! Bravery... 151 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:49,880 Oh, oh... Ah... Aaaaah... 152 00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:52,160 Dinky! Dinky! Come back! Come back here... 153 00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:54,840 All fight! Fight for good Richard! 154 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:56,400 Get 'em! Kill the French! 155 00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:58,720 England forever! Charge! 156 00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:02,680 Oh, look! They're charging! 157 00:11:02,680 --> 00:11:05,840 Get them! Kill the English! France forever! 158 00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:08,760 But wait, I cannot fight, I am a pacifist! 159 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:10,440 A pacifist? Why are you here? 160 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:12,040 I have to earn a living, don't I? 161 00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:13,160 What do you do? 162 00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:14,960 I'm a court trumpeter, but the pay is not enough. 163 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:17,720 You're a court trumpeter pacifist who's been forced to go to war? 164 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:18,920 I am. 165 00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:21,160 What a layered and interesting man you are. 166 00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:22,360 I agree. 167 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:23,800 Do you have a song that might 168 00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:25,600 outline your predicament in more detail? 169 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:26,680 I do, sirrah. 170 00:11:26,680 --> 00:11:31,800 # Oh, when I was a young trumpeter Hey-oh, hey-oh... # 171 00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:33,120 Non-speaking! 172 00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:37,600 GRUNTING 173 00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:48,640 Curses! Another eager Englishman bearing bloody blade draws near. 174 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:51,160 LOUD SCRAPING It is the foul Lord Buckingham 175 00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:52,680 whom we Frenchmen do fear. 176 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:56,840 What ho, Prince Richard! 177 00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:59,320 He thinks me English like himself. 178 00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:02,400 He calls me Richard. What trickery is this? 179 00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:06,240 A fine battle we have won today and we raise our arms victorious. 180 00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:14,040 CLANG 181 00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:21,800 The sun shines bright upon our deeds. 182 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:24,640 These noble trees shall bear witness to our glory. 183 00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:28,120 And yet I am no tree! 184 00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:31,640 I am the relevant trumpeter, disguis-ed! 185 00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:39,360 Prince Richard, why wearest thou a Frenchman's cap upon thy pate? 186 00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:43,360 Thou art sure to draw the eye of our own archers in this behatted state. 187 00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:48,240 Buckingham! My father shan't deny that this dost prove my worth! 188 00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:50,720 God's teeth, I see my prince and there his shade 189 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:52,240 as though a mirror were here before. 190 00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:55,200 By Jove, who art thou? We are one and the same. 191 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:56,600 I am Prince Richard. 192 00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:58,840 WHISPERS: Dick... 193 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:02,760 Who art thou, sir? 194 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:06,000 What ho! His voice is the echo of mine. 195 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,600 Mine every syllable dost sound as thine. 196 00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:11,440 My ears deceived both, they sound alike. 197 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:14,320 From whence do you hail? Come take my hand-e! 198 00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:20,560 I shall not, sir. 199 00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:22,440 I am Prince of... 200 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:23,880 ..Eng-land-e! 201 00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:31,440 ODD ACCENT: Some magic trickery. How can this be? 202 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:37,000 MIMICKING ACCENT: His every feature doth mirror me. 203 00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:41,880 Identical except in...BIRTH! 204 00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:47,200 Same voice, same height, 205 00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:48,720 same...GIRTH! 206 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:59,240 Our gestures knit, each hair in pla-ace-ay-ay-hey-hey-HEY-HEY-HEY! 207 00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:01,360 AY-hey! 208 00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:09,640 It is as if the devil stole my... 209 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:15,760 ..fa-ace-ay-ay-hey-hey-HEY-HEY-HEY! 210 00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:26,120 And I'm playing a tree? Seriously? 211 00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:30,040 Bind this fellow, lock him away. 212 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:32,480 I shall to my father this very day. 213 00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:33,840 Lower the bridge! 214 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:36,080 Argh! 215 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:37,880 Raise the bridge! Raise the bridge! 216 00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:39,600 Ah... Lower the bridge! 217 00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:41,760 Ah... 218 00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:58,960 Push it up! Lift it! Push it up! Lift it up! 219 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:04,040 THEY SHOUT 220 00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:10,280 Three, two, one, go! 221 00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:11,320 KING SCREAMS 222 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:22,240 The battle won by England's merry throng. 223 00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:26,440 Good Eric, toast their health and give a song! 224 00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:28,120 MEDIEVAL TUNE PLAYS 225 00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:36,440 # Bonny Peggy Ramsay that any man may see 226 00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:39,800 # Bonny was her face Fair freckled was she 227 00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:43,040 # Hey, nonny, nonny Hey, nonny, nay! 228 00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:46,320 # With a slap of my thigh I will dance all the day! 229 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:48,800 ALL: # With a slap of his thigh he will dance all the day! # 230 00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:52,160 Ooh! 231 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,280 THEY CLAMOUR 232 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:55,840 Argh! Argh! 233 00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:09,080 # There was a goose that was porked by a ham 234 00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:12,880 # I have a sausage, as I am a man 235 00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:15,800 # He has a sausage, as he is a man 236 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:19,160 # The goose was in charge I drank to its health 237 00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:22,680 # Then I took off my trousers and showed it myself 238 00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:25,840 # He took off his trousers and showed it himself... # 239 00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:28,440 This is a most pleasing tune. 240 00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:32,080 Oh, prithee, more. What happened to Bonny Peggy Ramsay? 241 00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:37,640 # Erm... 242 00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:40,920 # Bonny Peggy came back and what did she see? 243 00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:44,600 # The goose it was nude and laying with me 244 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:47,680 # The goose it was nude and laying with he 245 00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:51,320 # It was the first time It shan't be the last 246 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:53,840 # I put my sausage in the goose's... # 247 00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:57,960 Prithee, no more, Fool! That's... that's quite enough. Thank you. 248 00:16:57,960 --> 00:17:00,640 What a charming diversion, Fool. More goose, my love? 249 00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:03,280 No! 250 00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:06,640 I have lost the taste for it, methinks. 251 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:08,000 Father! 252 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,520 What is the meaning of this?! 253 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:12,560 Upon our fighting in your name did I happen upon this man, 254 00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:14,040 the very shadow of me. 255 00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:15,720 Bless my soul. 256 00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:20,040 Two sons now before me - mine own and this, his brother. 257 00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:23,280 So you confess, this man is my kin? How came this to be so? 258 00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:26,720 Alack, I must at last confess my sin. 259 00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:30,400 Your mother was no strumpet but Queen Eleanor of France herself. 260 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:32,800 DRAMATIC GASP 261 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:32,800 Stop it. 262 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:34,480 Our kingdoms both at war, 263 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:38,520 you were born in secret, brought to be raised under mine eye, 264 00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:41,880 whilst he, your twin, remained with her. 265 00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:44,040 I hope that all shall now be healed, 266 00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:47,120 at last this wicked truth revealed. 267 00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:59,160 And fortune hath united you. 268 00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:02,760 So you and I are brothers of both French and English blood. 269 00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:04,080 To me. 270 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:07,840 So you and I are brothers of both French and English blood. 271 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:10,080 Father, at last our war can end. 272 00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:11,280 Not to me. 273 00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:13,840 Father, at last our war can end. 274 00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:17,760 Yet some wounds be too deep to mend. 275 00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:32,840 A blood moon rose, portending doom. 276 00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:38,880 For foul and bloody murder loomed. 277 00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:41,120 As the King retired to bed that night, 278 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,640 he did not know he'd seen his final light. 279 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:45,760 GONG CLANGS 280 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:45,760 AHHHH! 281 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:02,880 My father for his sins shall now atone. 282 00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:05,040 Then I, Prince Richard... 283 00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:07,480 WHISPERS: Dick... 284 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,360 ..shall not share the throne. 285 00:19:10,360 --> 00:19:16,000 A single drop of poison in thine ear will rob thee of thy health. 286 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:21,200 Approach I now in silence and in stealth. 287 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:22,600 THUD, SHATTERING 288 00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:32,480 Come, subtle poison... 289 00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:44,800 Come, subtle poison, do thy work. 290 00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:45,840 SHRIEK 291 00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:47,320 Sorry! Sorry! 292 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:51,000 The king is dead, 293 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:54,280 but I'll not bear the guilt. 294 00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:58,280 I'll frame fair Louis, then run him to the hilt. 295 00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:02,320 Treachery! Foul treachery! 296 00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:03,920 What news is this? 297 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:06,800 The Frenchman Louis hath killed the king! 298 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:08,120 What ho? 299 00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:10,120 The king is dead! 300 00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:11,520 BELLS JINGLE 301 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:15,240 My father dead, 302 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:16,560 reluctant... 303 00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:22,320 ..I am king. 304 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:27,920 Now to the tower we shall this traitor bring. Guard! 305 00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:29,920 My liege! 306 00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:31,240 Take him away. 307 00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:35,160 Yet foolish Richard knew not I was no guard. 308 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:37,400 I was the relevant trumpeter! 309 00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:38,720 Robert! 310 00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:40,000 Adieu. 311 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:43,200 Foul trickery, villainy. Thou art knaves! 312 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:46,560 Come, Eric, wake the castle, assemble the court! 313 00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:49,400 All must hear of Louis' wicked sport. 314 00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:50,640 My lord. 315 00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:54,400 Aside. I spy upon his hand a stain of poison green. 316 00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:57,880 No. It's an aside - say it to the side. 317 00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:02,400 I spy upon his hand a stain of poison green. 318 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:05,320 No. To the side! 319 00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:08,920 I spy upon his hand a stain of poison green. 320 00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:11,320 I must betray this message to my Queen. 321 00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:13,960 Go, then! 322 00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:22,320 My Queen, I bid thee brace thyself for news most foul. 323 00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:25,160 Prithee, tell me the cause of thy scowl. 324 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:29,120 Tarry a moment for, erm...for, erm... 325 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,560 ..tis about the King. 326 00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:38,200 Prithee, tell me. 327 00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:40,880 Tis it about the king? 328 00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:44,400 Yes. Methinks it is. 329 00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:47,640 You bring me news of the King's health? 330 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:49,360 Methinks... 331 00:21:49,360 --> 00:21:51,920 Methinks...the King is well. 332 00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:53,920 Nope. The King is dead. Mm-hm. 333 00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:56,040 Aye! The King is well dead. 334 00:21:57,760 --> 00:22:00,200 But the worst is still to come for, er...er... 335 00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:02,960 Speak, Fool! 336 00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:04,520 Oh, it's the twist. 337 00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:07,600 Ay! He was murdered by Chris. 338 00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:13,280 Prithee, but who doth Chris play? 339 00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:14,520 The King. 340 00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:17,440 Nay. The king didn't kill the king, did he? 341 00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:20,720 But he...he said he was the King... methinks. 342 00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:23,000 Yes, well, he's the King now 343 00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:26,280 but before he killed the King, who was he? 344 00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:30,480 Chris. No! That's reality. 345 00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:32,960 Join me in fiction... 346 00:22:36,120 --> 00:22:38,920 In the play, who is Chris? 347 00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:40,360 The director. 348 00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:42,800 No! Which character? 349 00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:44,640 Was't he Richard? 350 00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:46,600 No. Yes, he was. I thought he was Louis. 351 00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:49,040 No, he's Richard. They are twins. 352 00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:50,600 But they don't look the same. 353 00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:55,040 They're not... Why are you confused! 354 00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:56,960 I don't even want to be in this scene. 355 00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:02,320 Just... Look... 356 00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:06,040 My goodly fool, my heart in pieces 357 00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:09,280 tides thee submit gentle Malcolm hither. 358 00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:11,840 What? Get Malcolm! Get Malcolm! Get Malcolm! 359 00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:13,480 All right, all right, all right! 360 00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:19,240 Oh, double joy, for now King Walter's dead, 361 00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:22,840 his heir shall join when Malcolm kills Rich-ed. 362 00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:24,200 Here. 363 00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:29,560 No! Get the actor who, in the play, is Malcolm! 364 00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:30,720 I'm so sorry. 365 00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:31,880 Malcolm! 366 00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:33,840 MUFFLED SPEECH 367 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,320 Now is the time to seize this power. 368 00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:43,520 Richard and Louis must die this very hour. 369 00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:47,560 MUFFLED: You speak the truth, m'lady. To the dungeon! 370 00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:49,160 LOUD BANG, CRACKLING 371 00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:50,720 MUFFLED SCREAMING 372 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:03,920 Oh, no! ELECTRICAL HUMMING 373 00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:23,400 To the dungeons! 374 00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:30,840 SCREAMING 375 00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:33,400 I will stretch thee until thou canst no more. 376 00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:36,120 Demon of hell, do thy worst. 377 00:24:36,120 --> 00:24:38,400 SCREAMING 378 00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:47,680 Ooh! 379 00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:50,600 Ooh! Ooooh! 380 00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:53,440 Oo-oooh! Wahey! 381 00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:59,880 Go, torturer, leave this knave to me. 382 00:24:59,880 --> 00:25:02,280 I shall to hell dispatch him presently. 383 00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:04,920 My liege! 384 00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:04,920 HISSES 385 00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:10,120 Will thou unbind my hands so that I may pray? 386 00:25:10,120 --> 00:25:12,720 Be quick. 387 00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:14,520 Then I shall send thee on thy way. 388 00:25:16,360 --> 00:25:20,920 With one swift strike, I set both of us free. 389 00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:25,800 Thus with your death, my secret dies with thee. 390 00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:27,280 CREAKING AND CLANKING 391 00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:30,320 MUFFLED: Not so fast! 392 00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:33,240 Well, Malcolm here has caught me unaware. 393 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:34,520 ELECTRICAL HUM 394 00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:41,240 MUFFLED: No mercy, now your treachery is revealed. 395 00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:42,640 Then let us fight. 396 00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:44,960 And death to him who yields. 397 00:25:48,120 --> 00:25:50,920 ELECTRICAL HUM 398 00:25:48,120 --> 00:25:50,920 Oh, no! 399 00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:54,520 MUFFLED SHOUTS 400 00:25:57,360 --> 00:26:01,200 Prince Richard, struck by Malcolm's noble blade. 401 00:26:06,120 --> 00:26:07,800 Argh! 402 00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:10,920 Thus with this wound my plans are all unmade. 403 00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:14,880 Guard! Take him away! 404 00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:16,920 Oh... 405 00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:19,400 Throw him in the darkest cell. 406 00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:25,720 Thank you, sweet Malcolm. The day is saved and all is well! 407 00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:36,360 One twin is defeated. Now strike the other down. 408 00:26:36,360 --> 00:26:39,960 With them both gone, we two shall share the crown. 409 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:44,040 MUFFLED: Prepare to die! 410 00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:48,840 Another traitor in this nest of snakes. 411 00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:51,880 Let our blades decide our fates. 412 00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:54,080 MUFFLED SPEECH 413 00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:58,280 Thy sharp tongue cannot harm me now. 414 00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:01,400 Hya! Hya! Hya! 415 00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:06,560 My blade doth pierce your back... and you fall. 416 00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:12,280 TRIUMPHANT FANFARE 417 00:27:18,360 --> 00:27:20,720 FANFARE CONTINUES 418 00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:25,880 Malcolm is dead. Richard is in chains. 419 00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:28,040 The crown does pass onto Louis' head. 420 00:27:34,120 --> 00:27:37,720 Er...Louis is...dead. 421 00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:41,440 So the crown shall now pass onto... 422 00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:43,640 ..Queen Isobel. 423 00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:53,040 Argh! 424 00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:56,600 No. 425 00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:58,080 No... 426 00:27:58,080 --> 00:28:02,760 The crown shall now pass onto... 427 00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:04,480 BELLS JINGLE 428 00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:05,800 No. 429 00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:10,280 Oh, dear. 430 00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:12,040 Er... 431 00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:14,880 It seems all our characters are spent. 432 00:28:16,680 --> 00:28:20,000 And, at last, the trumpeter...is relevant! 433 00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:32,080 Execute Chris! 434 00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:35,800 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 46815

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