All language subtitles for Its.Always.Sunny.in.Philadelphia.S16E05.en

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional) Download
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,354 --> 00:00:09,356 ♪ 2 00:00:09,356 --> 00:00:12,925 [Chet] In other news, Tinseltown is coming to Philadelphia. 3 00:00:12,925 --> 00:00:16,189 Hollywood stars Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul are here 4 00:00:16,189 --> 00:00:18,452 promoting their alcohol brand, Dos Hombres. 5 00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:21,847 [reporter] Hey, Bryan, how does it feel to be the kingpin of mezcal? 6 00:00:21,847 --> 00:00:24,371 Oh, no, no. No, no. Don't-don't put that on me. 7 00:00:24,371 --> 00:00:25,764 No, I'm just a simple actor. 8 00:00:25,764 --> 00:00:27,505 This, this is the man, 9 00:00:27,505 --> 00:00:28,680 - the brains behind the whole operation. - No. 10 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:30,073 - No, no, no. - Yeah, it is. 11 00:00:30,073 --> 00:00:31,813 [Aaron] It's a team effort. 12 00:00:31,813 --> 00:00:34,642 Wow. Hollywood celebrities right here in Philly, huh? 13 00:00:34,642 --> 00:00:35,904 - I don't love it. I mean, - Yeah. 14 00:00:35,904 --> 00:00:37,080 why can't they stay in their lane? 15 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:38,559 Why do they have into come into our lane? 16 00:00:38,559 --> 00:00:40,213 The celebrity booze thing's a little out of control. 17 00:00:40,213 --> 00:00:42,911 It's a total sellout. I mean, a complete cash grab. 18 00:00:42,911 --> 00:00:44,870 Any idiot could take a bottle of booze, 19 00:00:44,870 --> 00:00:48,091 slap a celebrity's face on it and-and make a fortune. 20 00:00:48,091 --> 00:00:49,701 - I mean, we could do it if we wanted. - Oh, we know more about booze 21 00:00:49,701 --> 00:00:51,094 - than these two guys, probably. - Are you kidding me? 22 00:00:51,094 --> 00:00:52,399 Look, yeah, is there an opportunity 23 00:00:52,399 --> 00:00:53,879 for us to create a booze of our own, right? 24 00:00:53,879 --> 00:00:56,055 And go pitch those guys? Yeah, of course there is. 25 00:00:56,055 --> 00:00:58,405 - It would be so easy. - Yeah. - It would be so easy, you know? 26 00:00:58,405 --> 00:00:59,580 And could we do something like that? 27 00:00:59,580 --> 00:01:00,886 - Also, yes. Absolutely. - Yes. Yes. 28 00:01:00,886 --> 00:01:02,192 - Of course, we could, you know. - But I mean, 29 00:01:02,192 --> 00:01:04,194 are we gonna go do something like that? 30 00:01:04,194 --> 00:01:05,717 - Yes, we're gonna do that, yeah. - Of course we are, yes. - I think we should. 31 00:01:05,717 --> 00:01:07,501 - I think we should. - It's already happening. 32 00:01:07,501 --> 00:01:09,112 ♪ 33 00:01:29,001 --> 00:01:30,524 [Dennis] Okay, guys, 34 00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:31,873 I think we can all agree we need to come up with a brand 35 00:01:31,873 --> 00:01:34,354 that is representative of who we are as people 36 00:01:34,354 --> 00:01:35,616 and as businessmen. 37 00:01:35,616 --> 00:01:38,489 Now I ask you guys this: what's the first word 38 00:01:38,489 --> 00:01:41,448 that comes to your mind when you are trying to describe us? 39 00:01:41,448 --> 00:01:43,450 - Premium. - Mm, I was gonna say that, dude. - Premium. 40 00:01:43,450 --> 00:01:44,973 - I was gonna say premium. - You were gonna say that, too? 41 00:01:44,973 --> 00:01:46,192 - [Mac] Yeah. - And look, hey. 42 00:01:46,192 --> 00:01:48,194 Listen, man, you're spot-on. Premium. 43 00:01:48,194 --> 00:01:51,328 Yes, our brand will, of course, be a premium brand. 44 00:01:51,328 --> 00:01:53,982 Now, what is the most premium alcohol ever invented? 45 00:01:53,982 --> 00:01:54,983 - Goldschlaäger. - Goldschlaäger. Yeah. 46 00:01:54,983 --> 00:01:56,724 Goldschlaäger. All right, hey! 47 00:01:56,724 --> 00:01:58,422 We're all on the same page here. 48 00:01:58,422 --> 00:02:00,032 - Yeah, we think... - This is good, I like this. Okay, yeah. 49 00:02:00,032 --> 00:02:02,034 Swiss cinnamon schnapps liqueur 50 00:02:02,034 --> 00:02:03,818 with drinkable flakes of gold floating in it. 51 00:02:03,818 --> 00:02:05,820 My God, what's more premium than that? 52 00:02:05,820 --> 00:02:07,996 - Yeah, nothing. - Nothing, right? 53 00:02:07,996 --> 00:02:09,737 Here's a pitch. Okay, I can get a bunch of nickels 54 00:02:09,737 --> 00:02:12,000 and I could smash them up and put them into a 'schlaäger. 55 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:13,480 Right? We call it Nickelschlaäger, 56 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:15,917 and we pitch it as, like, the working man's spirit. 57 00:02:15,917 --> 00:02:17,484 And, you know, nickels are, they're easy to find 58 00:02:17,484 --> 00:02:19,182 and, uh, just as shiny. 59 00:02:19,182 --> 00:02:21,227 Well, that sounds disgusting, and, uh, 60 00:02:21,227 --> 00:02:23,577 - potentially dangerous as well. - Yeah, I'm-a try it, though. 61 00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:25,492 Listen, I think I've pinpointed a small market trend 62 00:02:25,492 --> 00:02:27,015 that we could corner but that could 63 00:02:27,015 --> 00:02:29,670 also totally represent us. 64 00:02:29,670 --> 00:02:31,324 I'm talking about a blend. 65 00:02:31,324 --> 00:02:33,108 A blend? 66 00:02:33,108 --> 00:02:34,849 - Oh. Blends. - Yes. Blends, blends. 67 00:02:34,849 --> 00:02:36,024 - Blends! - Yes. 68 00:02:36,024 --> 00:02:37,722 Blends are very popular these days. 69 00:02:37,722 --> 00:02:39,332 Wine blends, whiskey blends, you know? 70 00:02:39,332 --> 00:02:40,942 So let me ask you this: 71 00:02:40,942 --> 00:02:43,684 what is the second-classiest drink in the world? 72 00:02:43,684 --> 00:02:45,208 - Jaägermeister. Yes. - Jaägermeister. Yeah, yeah. - Jaägermeister. 73 00:02:45,208 --> 00:02:46,774 - Jaägermeister, yeah. - Amazing, yes. 74 00:02:46,774 --> 00:02:48,341 It's the 'meisters and the, 75 00:02:48,341 --> 00:02:50,038 and the 'schlaägers and the schnapps. 76 00:02:50,038 --> 00:02:52,171 I mean, those are the drinks that make people feel high-end, 77 00:02:52,171 --> 00:02:54,217 you know, like they're on a European ski adventure, right? 78 00:02:54,217 --> 00:02:55,696 - [all laugh] - Yeah, it's true. - Yeah. 79 00:02:55,696 --> 00:02:58,264 Those drinks that make people feel premium, you know? 80 00:02:58,264 --> 00:03:02,225 So I say we do a blend of all the most premium drinks. 81 00:03:02,225 --> 00:03:04,357 We put them all together, and we make one drink 82 00:03:04,357 --> 00:03:07,491 called Paddy's SchlaägerSchnappsterMeister. 83 00:03:09,536 --> 00:03:11,321 - That's brilliant. - That's so smart. 84 00:03:11,321 --> 00:03:13,061 - Well, because it-it blends them - Dude, that is really smart. It's fun. 85 00:03:13,061 --> 00:03:14,367 - all together, like you said. - Who's thought of that? 86 00:03:14,367 --> 00:03:16,021 - It's a lot of fun, right? - It's elegant. 87 00:03:16,021 --> 00:03:18,153 It definitely feels like you're in Switzerland or something. 88 00:03:18,153 --> 00:03:19,851 - Yeah, yeah. - Great, so you guys get it, okay. Great. 89 00:03:19,851 --> 00:03:21,679 So I-I'm so glad we're on the same page with this. 90 00:03:21,679 --> 00:03:23,420 So, here's the thing. All we got to do 91 00:03:23,420 --> 00:03:25,552 is get those celebrity guys' blessing and boom... 92 00:03:25,552 --> 00:03:28,338 we are off to the races, we're gonna be rich men, but 93 00:03:28,338 --> 00:03:29,904 I don't think we should approach them 94 00:03:29,904 --> 00:03:31,297 without being fully funded first. 95 00:03:31,297 --> 00:03:33,517 So our first test is gonna be landing a big fish 96 00:03:33,517 --> 00:03:35,083 who can finance this whole operation. 97 00:03:35,083 --> 00:03:38,739 and I know just the guy. 98 00:03:38,739 --> 00:03:40,393 [chuckles] 99 00:03:40,393 --> 00:03:41,916 - [phone vibrating] -♪ I want money ♪ 100 00:03:41,916 --> 00:03:43,744 ♪ Lots and lots. ♪ 101 00:03:43,744 --> 00:03:45,659 - Yo. - [Dennis] Yo, Frank, 102 00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:47,270 I got you on speakerphone with, uh, Mac and Charlie. 103 00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:49,924 - Where are you right now? - I'm in the sky. 104 00:03:49,924 --> 00:03:51,099 - In the sky? - What? 105 00:03:51,099 --> 00:03:52,405 [Dee] That's right, dicknips. 106 00:03:52,405 --> 00:03:54,277 We're in the sky on a private plane 107 00:03:54,277 --> 00:03:56,104 - on the way to Aruba. - [Charlie] What the hell, Frank? 108 00:03:56,104 --> 00:03:57,628 - Why you taking Dee? - [Dee] Um, because 109 00:03:57,628 --> 00:03:58,933 I'm more glamorous than you guys. 110 00:03:58,933 --> 00:04:00,892 Frank recognizes that and so he invited me. 111 00:04:00,892 --> 00:04:03,416 I was on my way to the jet, 112 00:04:03,416 --> 00:04:05,897 she overheard me talking about the flight 113 00:04:05,897 --> 00:04:08,769 - and she glommed on. - Yeah, you know what? We don't care. 114 00:04:08,769 --> 00:04:10,945 Uh, Frank, we have a business proposition for you, pal. 115 00:04:10,945 --> 00:04:12,164 Frank, how would you like to invest 116 00:04:12,164 --> 00:04:14,732 in a celebrity alcohol brand? 117 00:04:14,732 --> 00:04:16,995 No, I don't know about that. 118 00:04:16,995 --> 00:04:19,345 I-I once had Greg Louganis 119 00:04:19,345 --> 00:04:23,131 as the face of my apricot brand in the '80s. 120 00:04:23,131 --> 00:04:25,438 But when he cracked his noggin at the Olympics, 121 00:04:25,438 --> 00:04:27,614 the business took a nosedive with him. 122 00:04:27,614 --> 00:04:28,833 Okay, well, we're talking about 123 00:04:28,833 --> 00:04:30,313 a much bigger celebrity than that, okay? 124 00:04:30,313 --> 00:04:32,315 We're talking about a household name here. 125 00:04:32,315 --> 00:04:34,360 Have you ever hear of a little show called 126 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:36,971 Malcolm in the Middle? 127 00:04:36,971 --> 00:04:39,409 Have I? Changed the game. 128 00:04:39,409 --> 00:04:41,454 - Changed the game, Frank. - That it did. That it did. - [Mac] Yes. Yes. 129 00:04:41,454 --> 00:04:43,804 - It did change the game. - That it did. One of the greatest shows of all time. 130 00:04:43,804 --> 00:04:45,632 Well, listen, the dad from that show is in town 131 00:04:45,632 --> 00:04:47,460 and we're gonna be pitching him tonight. 132 00:04:47,460 --> 00:04:49,462 And Malcolm. He's here, too, although he's all grown up now, 133 00:04:49,462 --> 00:04:50,855 - so you might not recognize him. - Yeah. 134 00:04:50,855 --> 00:04:52,552 Dang, that sounds pretty glamorous. 135 00:04:52,552 --> 00:04:55,163 - I'd like to hang with celebs. - Shut up, Dee. 136 00:04:55,163 --> 00:04:56,904 - [Dennis] Shut up, Dee. - [Charlie] Oh, God, shut up, Dee. 137 00:04:56,904 --> 00:04:59,124 [Mac] Shut your mouth or I will shut it for you! 138 00:04:59,124 --> 00:05:01,344 When you get back, Mac's gonna shut it for you! 139 00:05:01,344 --> 00:05:03,389 We're gonna shut your mouth and we're gonna sew your lips shut! 140 00:05:03,389 --> 00:05:04,608 - [Charlie] Just shut up. - Shut up! 141 00:05:04,608 --> 00:05:06,479 - Shut up! - All right, well-well, 142 00:05:06,479 --> 00:05:09,395 you know, if you can get, uh, Malcolm and his dad 143 00:05:09,395 --> 00:05:11,441 on the hook, bring them to me at the jet. 144 00:05:11,441 --> 00:05:13,094 When I land, we'll talk shop. 145 00:05:13,094 --> 00:05:14,182 - [Mac] Oh, good. - [Charlie] Nice, dude. 146 00:05:14,182 --> 00:05:16,489 - Big fish landed! - All right! 147 00:05:16,489 --> 00:05:18,535 How are they gonna bring them to Aruba? 148 00:05:18,535 --> 00:05:21,625 We were never going to Aruba. We're circling Philly. 149 00:05:22,669 --> 00:05:25,629 Oh, my God. There's The Linc! 150 00:05:25,629 --> 00:05:27,848 What the hell, Frank? Why are we circling Philly? 151 00:05:27,848 --> 00:05:30,068 I got to put enough miles on the jet 152 00:05:30,068 --> 00:05:32,679 to make it look like I went to Aruba and back. 153 00:05:32,679 --> 00:05:34,159 It's a tax thing. 154 00:05:34,159 --> 00:05:36,030 Then why don't we just go to Aruba and back? 155 00:05:36,030 --> 00:05:37,728 Wouldn't that make more sense? 156 00:05:37,728 --> 00:05:39,686 I have things to do in Philly. 157 00:05:39,686 --> 00:05:41,688 But I don't want to circle Philly for hours. 158 00:05:41,688 --> 00:05:43,429 Hey, look, first you nag me to get on the plane, 159 00:05:43,429 --> 00:05:45,170 now you're nagging me to get off. 160 00:05:45,170 --> 00:05:46,476 Just... No dice. 161 00:05:46,476 --> 00:05:49,087 - We're circling Philly. - Oh, goddamn it. 162 00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:52,177 ♪ I want money, lots and lots of money...♪ 163 00:05:52,177 --> 00:05:54,397 It is popping off in there, man. It is popping off. 164 00:05:54,397 --> 00:05:56,399 Actually, Charlie, I would also love for you 165 00:05:56,399 --> 00:05:58,531 - to pop off that hat. - No, dude, you said dress nice. 166 00:05:58,531 --> 00:06:00,228 I want to be able to tip my cap to these guys 167 00:06:00,228 --> 00:06:02,230 - when I meet them. - Yeah, but you look like a limo driver. 168 00:06:02,230 --> 00:06:04,537 - Whatever, dude. I look good, man. - [sighs] 169 00:06:04,537 --> 00:06:06,626 You guys want to hit some of this, too, by the way? 170 00:06:06,626 --> 00:06:08,889 - The hell is that? - It's Nickelschlaäger, man. 171 00:06:08,889 --> 00:06:10,630 It's delicious. I've been drinking it all day. 172 00:06:10,630 --> 00:06:12,458 Throw that shit out. Do not bring that up in the pitch. 173 00:06:12,458 --> 00:06:14,417 - I'm gonna pitch it. - Dude, do not... Don't... 174 00:06:14,417 --> 00:06:15,896 Oh, goddamn it. 175 00:06:15,896 --> 00:06:18,333 - [scanner beeps] - Oh. 176 00:06:18,333 --> 00:06:20,553 - Over here, sir. - Okay, you know what? That might have been this. 177 00:06:20,553 --> 00:06:23,556 Uh, here, I'll give it to you, I guess. Uh, don't mind me. 178 00:06:23,556 --> 00:06:25,732 - Anything in your pockets, sir? - No, no, I'm good. 179 00:06:25,732 --> 00:06:27,865 - I'm good, I sh... - [device beeping] 180 00:06:29,606 --> 00:06:31,956 Uh... 181 00:06:31,956 --> 00:06:33,740 Guys, why is it going off on my stomach? 182 00:06:33,740 --> 00:06:35,742 Because you have a belly full of nickels. 183 00:06:35,742 --> 00:06:37,918 Oh, right. Shit. Okay, you know what? Um... 184 00:06:37,918 --> 00:06:39,442 I'll make myself throw up and then I'll get... 185 00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:41,574 Should I throw up here or, uh... 186 00:06:41,574 --> 00:06:42,923 All right, I'm gonna go outside 187 00:06:42,923 --> 00:06:44,272 and-and I'll meet you guys back in. 188 00:06:44,272 --> 00:06:45,883 - [scanner beeps] - Great. 189 00:06:45,883 --> 00:06:47,754 Good riddance. He looks ridiculous anyway. 190 00:06:47,754 --> 00:06:49,277 Yeah, well, you don't look that much better, pal. 191 00:06:49,277 --> 00:06:51,323 I mean, what-what, what is going on with that suit? 192 00:06:51,323 --> 00:06:54,500 Oh, I'm going for a "Jordan in the '90s" look. 193 00:06:54,500 --> 00:06:57,416 I mean, who's more premium than MJ, right? 194 00:06:57,416 --> 00:06:59,505 Now, I'm thinking that I go pitch a fashion line 195 00:06:59,505 --> 00:07:01,028 and sort of expand 196 00:07:01,028 --> 00:07:02,856 - into a lifestyle brand. - No, don't do that. 197 00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:05,206 Okay? Let's just... Uh, can we stick with the one thing? 198 00:07:05,206 --> 00:07:07,426 - Just stick with the one thing, please. - They're celebrities. 199 00:07:07,426 --> 00:07:09,428 - They're gonna get the look. - I know they're celebrities. 200 00:07:09,428 --> 00:07:10,603 I'm not saying they're not celebrities. I'm saying... 201 00:07:10,603 --> 00:07:11,735 Do you know who Michael Jordan is? 202 00:07:11,735 --> 00:07:13,519 - Yes, I know who... - Then why are you 203 00:07:13,519 --> 00:07:14,781 - fighting me about this? - Can we just go get in the meet-and-greet line? 204 00:07:14,781 --> 00:07:16,827 It's already getting long as shit. Come on. 205 00:07:18,916 --> 00:07:20,352 [Frank cackles] 206 00:07:20,352 --> 00:07:21,396 Frank. 207 00:07:21,396 --> 00:07:22,572 - Frank! - What? 208 00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:24,095 How much longer? 209 00:07:24,095 --> 00:07:26,880 - Three hours. - Oh, my God. 210 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,360 Can I watch what you're watching? 211 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:29,535 'Cause the Wi-Fi is not strong enough 212 00:07:29,535 --> 00:07:30,928 for me to watch anything. 213 00:07:30,928 --> 00:07:32,669 You should have downloaded movies, then. 214 00:07:32,669 --> 00:07:35,280 I mean, I also have to go to the bathroom. 215 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:38,109 Well, that's not good. Bathroom on the plane is busted. 216 00:07:38,109 --> 00:07:40,938 - W-What? - Yeah, but you can use the emergency can. 217 00:07:40,938 --> 00:07:42,287 Where's the emergency can? 218 00:07:42,287 --> 00:07:43,723 - You're sitting on it. - What? Wh... 219 00:07:43,723 --> 00:07:45,812 You just pull that cushion up and, uh, get that 220 00:07:45,812 --> 00:07:47,553 privacy screen over there. 221 00:07:47,553 --> 00:07:49,250 Is it a number one or a number two? 222 00:07:49,250 --> 00:07:51,122 It's a number one. 223 00:07:51,122 --> 00:07:52,558 Eh, let 'er rip. 224 00:07:52,558 --> 00:07:54,560 It's still gonna go out in the air anyway. 225 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:56,519 Are you sure you don't have any food anywhere? 226 00:07:56,519 --> 00:07:58,303 Why don't you sniff around back there? 227 00:07:58,303 --> 00:07:59,565 What's this? 228 00:07:59,565 --> 00:08:01,001 - What's that? - There's a can of something. 229 00:08:01,001 --> 00:08:03,177 Oh, that's an old can of oysters from another flight. 230 00:08:03,177 --> 00:08:05,440 - A can of oysters? - Yeah, go ahead, have them. 231 00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:07,007 Ugh, goddamn it. 232 00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:09,619 [Dennis] All right, all right. 233 00:08:09,619 --> 00:08:10,707 - Getting pretty close here. - Okay, now, 234 00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:11,795 just go with me here, Dennis. 235 00:08:11,795 --> 00:08:13,492 I want you to picture it, all right? 236 00:08:13,492 --> 00:08:15,929 It's a whole lifestyle ecosystem. 237 00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:17,409 - No... - With booze and suits 238 00:08:17,409 --> 00:08:19,759 and apps that link you to personal trainers 239 00:08:19,759 --> 00:08:21,456 who make you look good in the suits. Premium. 240 00:08:21,456 --> 00:08:23,284 - Dude, this is what I'm saying. - No, listen, can we please, 241 00:08:23,284 --> 00:08:25,765 please, please just stick with the blend? 242 00:08:25,765 --> 00:08:27,898 - Stick with the blend. - This is a blend of ideas. 243 00:08:27,898 --> 00:08:29,247 Yes, but it's a blend of too many ideas. I don't even 244 00:08:29,247 --> 00:08:31,205 know what you're talking about half the time. 245 00:08:31,205 --> 00:08:33,381 - I'm talking about branding, bro, it's branding. - I know what you're... 246 00:08:33,381 --> 00:08:34,382 You know what, actually, you just keep 247 00:08:34,382 --> 00:08:35,645 your mouth shut the whole time. 248 00:08:35,645 --> 00:08:37,429 Just keep your mouth shut, I'll do the talking. 249 00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:39,474 We do the firm handshake, right? 'Cause that's essential 250 00:08:39,474 --> 00:08:40,911 to setting tone for a good pitch. 251 00:08:40,911 --> 00:08:42,869 Got to have a firm handshake. And then that's it. 252 00:08:42,869 --> 00:08:45,002 I do the talking, and don't say a goddamn thing 253 00:08:45,002 --> 00:08:46,656 about booze and suits and apps. 254 00:08:46,656 --> 00:08:48,571 - Here we go. - Oh, okay. 255 00:08:48,571 --> 00:08:50,181 - Thank you. - Thanks, ladies. - Thank you so much. 256 00:08:50,181 --> 00:08:52,226 - Uh, all right. Come on, guys. - [Dennis] All right. 257 00:08:52,226 --> 00:08:53,532 - Okay, here we go. - Hey, there, fellas. - Hey. 258 00:08:53,532 --> 00:08:55,316 Hi, uh, hello to you, kind sirs. 259 00:08:55,316 --> 00:08:57,318 - [chuckles] - Let's do a... 260 00:08:57,318 --> 00:08:59,625 - Oh, uh... - No. 261 00:08:59,625 --> 00:09:02,759 No, I'm sorry, we-we don't shake hands. So... 262 00:09:02,759 --> 00:09:04,804 Uh, well, that kind of throws off my whole thing. 263 00:09:04,804 --> 00:09:06,589 I think... We can't kick this off without a firm handshake. 264 00:09:06,589 --> 00:09:08,634 - Why don't you just... - I really don't mind shaking his hand. 265 00:09:08,634 --> 00:09:10,288 How many times do we have to go through this? 266 00:09:10,288 --> 00:09:12,507 - We're not shaking hands. - We're not shaking hands. 267 00:09:12,507 --> 00:09:13,508 - We don't know these people. - Don't know you. 268 00:09:13,508 --> 00:09:15,032 - Sorry. - Oh. 269 00:09:15,032 --> 00:09:16,250 Wow, look at that suit. 270 00:09:16,250 --> 00:09:17,730 - Yeah. Look at that. - I love that. 271 00:09:17,730 --> 00:09:19,863 I'm not supposed to talk. 272 00:09:19,863 --> 00:09:21,516 - [Dennis] I didn't say... I didn't say... - I'm not supposed to, either. 273 00:09:21,516 --> 00:09:23,214 Oh... Come on, let's get this going. 274 00:09:23,214 --> 00:09:24,563 - He's-he's kidding. He's kidding. - Uh, yeah, so-so... 275 00:09:24,563 --> 00:09:26,043 - He's kidding. - Oh, yes. He, uh, just... 276 00:09:26,043 --> 00:09:28,567 - Yeah, but... - Come on, everybody say, "Dos Hombres." 277 00:09:28,567 --> 00:09:30,395 - Oh, uh... - [all] Dos Hombres! 278 00:09:30,395 --> 00:09:31,875 - All right, you can get - Thanks so much. - Yeah, so, we have a... 279 00:09:31,875 --> 00:09:33,137 the photos with the QR code that way. 280 00:09:33,137 --> 00:09:34,355 - There you go. - No, I don't need a photo. 281 00:09:34,355 --> 00:09:35,748 Actually, I-I just wanted to pitch you... 282 00:09:35,748 --> 00:09:38,882 - I... - All right, hey. All right. 283 00:09:38,882 --> 00:09:40,231 What just happened? 284 00:09:40,231 --> 00:09:41,580 You blew it, dude. You choked. 285 00:09:41,580 --> 00:09:43,843 I didn't choke, no. It was... Malcolm. 286 00:09:43,843 --> 00:09:45,540 He was throwing me a weird vibe. 287 00:09:45,540 --> 00:09:47,368 - Yeah. He's very aggressive. - He's super aggressive. 288 00:09:47,368 --> 00:09:49,283 He's, like, he's, like the alpha dog, dude. 289 00:09:49,283 --> 00:09:50,589 - I didn't like that. - Malcolm's not in the middle. 290 00:09:50,589 --> 00:09:52,286 - He's on top. - He's on top. 291 00:09:52,286 --> 00:09:54,288 - Shit. - You know what, let's-let's get back in the line. 292 00:09:56,247 --> 00:09:58,292 [coughing] 293 00:10:01,469 --> 00:10:03,689 Oh. Hey. 294 00:10:03,689 --> 00:10:04,821 Hey. 295 00:10:04,821 --> 00:10:06,997 Hey, buddy. [clears throat] 296 00:10:08,302 --> 00:10:09,739 Hey, can I ask you something really quick? 297 00:10:09,739 --> 00:10:11,697 - Yeah, sure, man. What's up? - Uh, hey, listen, 298 00:10:11,697 --> 00:10:13,177 I've been throwing up for a little bit. 299 00:10:13,177 --> 00:10:14,395 Ugh, dude, sorry. 300 00:10:14,395 --> 00:10:15,832 Yeah, I-I actually kind of can't stop. 301 00:10:15,832 --> 00:10:17,790 I think I'm having a reaction to the metals. 302 00:10:17,790 --> 00:10:19,313 But, uh, my real problem is, like, 303 00:10:19,313 --> 00:10:21,315 no matter how much I hurl, like, the nickels 304 00:10:21,315 --> 00:10:23,622 - keep coming out. - Nickels? 305 00:10:23,622 --> 00:10:25,624 Oh, yeah, it's a 'schlaäger play I got going. 306 00:10:25,624 --> 00:10:27,147 So, hey, look, can you do me a favor? 307 00:10:27,147 --> 00:10:28,714 On my next hurl, you know, do you... 308 00:10:28,714 --> 00:10:31,021 could you see if you see any loose change in there, you know? 309 00:10:31,021 --> 00:10:33,850 'Cause, like, I-I really got to get a extra set of eyes on this. 310 00:10:33,850 --> 00:10:35,721 - I can't help you. All right? I-I'm waiting for somebody. - Please, please. 311 00:10:35,721 --> 00:10:36,809 - Sir, I'm begging you, please. - It's not happening. 312 00:10:36,809 --> 00:10:39,464 Listen, man, I can't help, all right? 313 00:10:39,464 --> 00:10:40,726 Oh, my God, I'm so sorry! 314 00:10:40,726 --> 00:10:41,901 What the hell?! 315 00:10:41,901 --> 00:10:43,642 - Damn it! - Oh! Hey. 316 00:10:43,642 --> 00:10:44,904 - Hey, man, hey, hey. - Come here. 317 00:10:44,904 --> 00:10:46,253 Come here. Look at this. Look at this. 318 00:10:46,253 --> 00:10:47,559 - Okay. Yes, sir. - Look at this. 319 00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:48,691 They're gonna ding me for the cleaning fee. 320 00:10:48,691 --> 00:10:49,909 - All right? - Ah, yeah, look at that. 321 00:10:49,909 --> 00:10:51,128 Peace and love, peace and love. 322 00:10:51,128 --> 00:10:52,564 - Damn it! - I'm sorry! Hey, hey. 323 00:10:52,564 --> 00:10:53,957 - Just say by my car. Stay by my car - Hey, hey. 324 00:10:53,957 --> 00:10:55,088 - Hey, hey! - and watch this, I got to figure this out. 325 00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:56,524 - Get by the car. - Okay, okay, okay. 326 00:10:56,524 --> 00:10:58,048 I got your car. I'll watch your car. 327 00:10:58,048 --> 00:10:59,397 Yeah. [coughs] 328 00:10:59,397 --> 00:11:01,442 [grunts] He was a big boy. 329 00:11:01,442 --> 00:11:03,183 - Jesus. [coughing] - Damn it. 330 00:11:03,183 --> 00:11:04,750 [Charlie groans] 331 00:11:04,750 --> 00:11:06,578 Hey, man, are you the Dos Hombres driver? 332 00:11:07,448 --> 00:11:08,885 Who? 333 00:11:08,885 --> 00:11:09,712 You know, the Malcolm in the Middle guys. 334 00:11:11,409 --> 00:11:12,584 Yes, I am. 335 00:11:12,584 --> 00:11:13,933 Come on, come on. 336 00:11:15,326 --> 00:11:16,631 The dad did like my suit. 337 00:11:16,631 --> 00:11:19,069 Would you shut up about the dad and the suit? 338 00:11:19,069 --> 00:11:20,592 - Thank you very much. - [Dennis] What are they doing? 339 00:11:20,592 --> 00:11:21,854 - Oh, great. Okay. - [Dennis] Damn it. 340 00:11:21,854 --> 00:11:23,116 They're wrapping things up. 341 00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:24,814 That's great. We blew it. 342 00:11:24,814 --> 00:11:27,338 We totally blew our one shot. Goddamn it. 343 00:11:27,338 --> 00:11:29,514 Hey, I think I just saw Jalen Hurts. 344 00:11:29,514 --> 00:11:30,994 - What? Seriously? Where? - Yeah. 345 00:11:30,994 --> 00:11:32,343 Dude, he just went into the bathroom. 346 00:11:32,343 --> 00:11:33,736 I'm sure that was him. 347 00:11:33,736 --> 00:11:35,520 Okay, uh, listen. We're gonna pivot, all right? 348 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:37,261 I mean, Jalen's a better fit for our Philly-based brand anyway, 349 00:11:37,261 --> 00:11:39,350 - don't you think? - Yeah. 350 00:11:39,350 --> 00:11:40,699 - Let's go talk to Jalen. - Let's get Jalen. 351 00:11:40,699 --> 00:11:42,266 Come on, let's go. 352 00:11:42,266 --> 00:11:44,485 - [urinating] - Jalen. - Yeah, 353 00:11:44,485 --> 00:11:46,139 so, hey, listen, uh, I know this is a little weird, 354 00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:48,402 us bum-rushing you in the bathroom like this, but, uh... 355 00:11:48,402 --> 00:11:50,404 You always were good against the rush. 356 00:11:50,404 --> 00:11:51,971 [laughs] Now, that is true. You are good against the ru... 357 00:11:51,971 --> 00:11:54,191 Now, you're not gonna get away from us, though. [laughs] 358 00:11:54,191 --> 00:11:55,888 We gotcha. 359 00:11:55,888 --> 00:11:57,324 That was a joke. Um... 360 00:11:57,324 --> 00:11:59,065 [urinating continuing] 361 00:11:59,065 --> 00:12:01,720 Okay, uh, well, listen, uh, we-we just, uh, 362 00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:02,852 we wanted to pitch you 363 00:12:02,852 --> 00:12:05,376 a-a really great business opportunity. 364 00:12:05,376 --> 00:12:07,030 Yes, now imagine this lifestyle: 365 00:12:07,030 --> 00:12:09,206 you're on a Caribbean island in an ill-fitting suit. 366 00:12:09,206 --> 00:12:11,991 No, no, st... no, uh, Jalen, we're not-not here to... 367 00:12:11,991 --> 00:12:13,253 - pitch you a lifestyle. - [toilet flushes] 368 00:12:16,169 --> 00:12:18,563 - Gritty? - Wait... 369 00:12:18,563 --> 00:12:20,043 - What the hell is this? - Wh... I... 370 00:12:20,043 --> 00:12:21,479 I thought you said Jalen Hurts came in here. 371 00:12:21,479 --> 00:12:22,828 Is he in one of the other stalls? 372 00:12:22,828 --> 00:12:25,091 I don't know, I must have gotten them confused. 373 00:12:25,091 --> 00:12:26,353 How do you confuse a young Black man 374 00:12:26,353 --> 00:12:27,833 with a giant orange monster? 375 00:12:27,833 --> 00:12:29,313 - Uh... - [squeak] 376 00:12:29,313 --> 00:12:32,098 Okay, Gritty, picture yourself on a Caribbean island. 377 00:12:32,098 --> 00:12:34,579 - Don't pitch Gritty! We're here to talk to a celebrity. - [toilet flushes] 378 00:12:34,579 --> 00:12:37,190 - Gritty's just Gritty. - [squeak] 379 00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:40,280 What... Oh, hey, Jalen! Jalen! There he is. Jalen! 380 00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:42,456 - Ah, we just missed him. - What are you talking about? 381 00:12:42,456 --> 00:12:44,545 - That was not Jalen Hurts. - Yes, it was. 382 00:12:44,545 --> 00:12:46,069 Oh, don't take his side, Gritty. 383 00:12:46,069 --> 00:12:48,636 - Well, he's right. - That was definitely Jalen Hurts. 384 00:12:48,636 --> 00:12:49,942 Uh, you know what, Gritty, we don't need you anymore. 385 00:12:49,942 --> 00:12:51,509 Why don't you take a hike, pal? 386 00:12:51,509 --> 00:12:53,076 - Appreciate it. - [squeak] 387 00:12:53,076 --> 00:12:54,773 - [phone ringing] - Goddamn it. 388 00:12:54,773 --> 00:12:56,035 Hold on a second. Oh, it's Charlie. 389 00:12:56,035 --> 00:12:57,645 What... Wait, wait, wait. 390 00:12:57,645 --> 00:12:59,169 - What do you want, man? - [Charlie] Hey, uh, 391 00:12:59,169 --> 00:13:01,519 Dennis, uh, get to Frank as fast as you can. 392 00:13:01,519 --> 00:13:03,564 I have Malcolm and his dad. 393 00:13:03,564 --> 00:13:05,262 - Are you serious? - I'll explain later. 394 00:13:05,262 --> 00:13:06,829 Just... I'll delay them as long as I can. 395 00:13:06,829 --> 00:13:08,004 [Aaron] Hey, could you maybe just 396 00:13:08,004 --> 00:13:09,222 not be on the-the phone? 397 00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:10,354 - Yeah? Okay. - Oh, yeah. 398 00:13:10,354 --> 00:13:11,616 Of course, sir. Yeah, I got to go. 399 00:13:11,616 --> 00:13:13,444 - Please? Thank you. - Uh, sorry about that. 400 00:13:13,444 --> 00:13:14,662 - Very unprofessional. - Thank you very much. 401 00:13:14,662 --> 00:13:16,229 - Uh, apologies. - Yeah, that's okay. 402 00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:17,535 [sniffs] 403 00:13:17,535 --> 00:13:18,928 Does it smell funky in here? 404 00:13:18,928 --> 00:13:20,320 Very funky. 405 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:22,801 - Oh, you guys picking up an aroma? - Yeah. 406 00:13:22,801 --> 00:13:24,194 - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, all right. 407 00:13:24,194 --> 00:13:25,760 You... There might be a funk to it, Mr. Malcolm. 408 00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:27,806 I did vomit in here earlier. 409 00:13:27,806 --> 00:13:30,635 Oh, oh, great. Thank you for that. 410 00:13:30,635 --> 00:13:34,073 Wow. And my name is not Mr. Malcolm, it's Aaron. 411 00:13:34,073 --> 00:13:35,901 [Charlie] Okay, I got you. Yeah, yeah. 412 00:13:35,901 --> 00:13:37,076 We can go by whatever code name 413 00:13:37,076 --> 00:13:38,686 you feel most comfortable with, sir. 414 00:13:38,686 --> 00:13:40,340 You know, I can't imagine the pressures of being 415 00:13:40,340 --> 00:13:42,125 - a Hollywood celebrity. - Oh, oh, please, please, please! 416 00:13:42,125 --> 00:13:43,343 - [horn honks] - Watch the road, watch the road. - Oh, yeah! Shit! 417 00:13:43,343 --> 00:13:45,911 - Jesus. - Pardon my language. 418 00:13:45,911 --> 00:13:47,870 Yeah, sorry about that. Uh, pardon my driving. 419 00:13:47,870 --> 00:13:49,915 I haven't driven a car in a long, long time. 420 00:13:49,915 --> 00:13:52,483 I... We really got to start vetting these drivers. 421 00:13:52,483 --> 00:13:54,746 Okay? If we're driving around in these crappy town cars 422 00:13:54,746 --> 00:13:56,617 with lunatics and now we're flying coach? 423 00:13:56,617 --> 00:13:57,836 - Counterpoint. - Coach? 424 00:13:57,836 --> 00:13:59,838 I do like the grit. 425 00:13:59,838 --> 00:14:01,361 - [Aaron] Oh, my God. - Don't you? 426 00:14:01,361 --> 00:14:03,233 I mean, it's associating with the common man. 427 00:14:03,233 --> 00:14:04,669 - Talking about me? - Yes. 428 00:14:04,669 --> 00:14:06,192 - Oh, yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. 429 00:14:06,192 --> 00:14:08,020 - Absolutely. - When I first stepped onto the boards 430 00:14:08,020 --> 00:14:09,892 in the Great White Way of Broadway... 431 00:14:09,892 --> 00:14:13,286 - Oh, and here we go again about Broadway. - Was I in the role 432 00:14:13,286 --> 00:14:14,940 - of Richard III? No. - Were you? No? 433 00:14:14,940 --> 00:14:16,376 - Slipping it in, of course. - No. 434 00:14:16,376 --> 00:14:17,856 - I was his understudy. - Okay. 435 00:14:17,856 --> 00:14:19,858 - [groans] - I never really got to be on stage. 436 00:14:19,858 --> 00:14:21,338 - Okay. - But I was very close. 437 00:14:21,338 --> 00:14:22,861 - You had to earn it, huh? - [laughs] 438 00:14:22,861 --> 00:14:25,646 - You had to earn it. - It's all about the work, isn't it? 439 00:14:25,646 --> 00:14:26,821 - See? He's working, we're working. - Yeah, right? 440 00:14:26,821 --> 00:14:28,127 Yeah, we're... We are working. 441 00:14:28,127 --> 00:14:30,869 Now, you can never forget where you came from. 442 00:14:30,869 --> 00:14:33,045 - Remember how you got here? Remember, huh? - Yes. 443 00:14:33,045 --> 00:14:36,135 This clown lost all of his money playing slots 444 00:14:36,135 --> 00:14:38,746 - at Pechanga. Yeah. - It... I-I... 445 00:14:38,746 --> 00:14:40,879 [Aaron] No, you have a problem. You know you have a problem. 446 00:14:40,879 --> 00:14:42,968 The first step: admitting you have a problem. 447 00:14:42,968 --> 00:14:46,189 I admit I am a servant to the gods of chance. 448 00:14:46,189 --> 00:14:47,494 I pray at their altar. 449 00:14:47,494 --> 00:14:48,887 - Yeah, way too much. - Come on, baby. 450 00:14:48,887 --> 00:14:50,019 - Way too much. - Yeah, come on, baby! 451 00:14:50,019 --> 00:14:52,064 [laughs] Let 'er roll! 452 00:14:52,064 --> 00:14:53,936 - Let 'er rip! - No, this guy was a week away 453 00:14:53,936 --> 00:14:56,112 from sucking off tourists, okay? 454 00:14:56,112 --> 00:14:58,941 - Oh, my God. - To pay his rent, and you know that. 455 00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:00,681 Fellas, you're not gonna have to suck anyone off. 456 00:15:00,681 --> 00:15:02,988 I'm taking you guys straight to a private plane today. 457 00:15:02,988 --> 00:15:04,685 - Hmm? - Oh, great. Finally. See? See? 458 00:15:04,685 --> 00:15:06,731 There you go. Aren't you happy? 459 00:15:06,731 --> 00:15:07,993 - Doesn't that feel nice? - I'm very happy. Yes. 460 00:15:07,993 --> 00:15:09,560 - [phone ringing] - [Aaron] Finally. Okay. 461 00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:11,736 Sorry, I happen to be getting another-another call here. 462 00:15:11,736 --> 00:15:13,564 - I got to take it. Hello, this is the driver. - [Aaron] Oh, my... 463 00:15:13,564 --> 00:15:16,349 Hey, Charlie! You said to call when we landed. 464 00:15:16,349 --> 00:15:18,351 What? We landed? 465 00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:21,267 We landed 20 minutes ago. I'm just gassing up. 466 00:15:21,267 --> 00:15:23,226 Oh, goddamn it, why didn't you tell me that? 467 00:15:23,226 --> 00:15:25,358 I wouldn't have eaten the disgusting oysters. 468 00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:26,751 - Ugh. - You ate those oysters? 469 00:15:26,751 --> 00:15:28,187 What? You told me to. 470 00:15:28,187 --> 00:15:30,450 That can is from a shellfish company I started 471 00:15:30,450 --> 00:15:31,974 with Tony Danza back in the '80s. 472 00:15:31,974 --> 00:15:34,193 Tony's Oysters in a Can-za? 473 00:15:34,193 --> 00:15:36,108 - It was a catchy name. Didn't go anywhere. - Goddamn you. 474 00:15:36,108 --> 00:15:37,892 Gross. I am out of here. 475 00:15:37,892 --> 00:15:39,111 - [coughing] - [Charlie] Frank? 476 00:15:39,111 --> 00:15:40,417 - Charlie. - Uh, this is Mr. Frank. 477 00:15:40,417 --> 00:15:41,635 He's the owner of the plane. 478 00:15:41,635 --> 00:15:43,420 - Oh, perfect. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 479 00:15:43,420 --> 00:15:45,639 Uh, yes, Mr. Frank? I have the father and son. 480 00:15:45,639 --> 00:15:48,729 You got them, Charlie? Bring them over right away. 481 00:15:48,729 --> 00:15:50,296 All right. Ha, ha! 482 00:15:50,296 --> 00:15:52,951 Charlie got Malcolm and his dad. 483 00:15:52,951 --> 00:15:54,474 - Oh, shit. Are you serious? - [whoops] 484 00:15:54,474 --> 00:15:56,433 - Oh, I'm staying. - What are you talking about? 485 00:15:56,433 --> 00:15:58,522 You've been complaining about getting off the plane. 486 00:15:58,522 --> 00:16:00,132 Now all of a sudden you're staying? 487 00:16:00,132 --> 00:16:01,960 - [coughs] - All right. Hey, guys. Come on. 488 00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:03,092 Let's go. Out of the cabin. 489 00:16:03,092 --> 00:16:04,789 What-what... I'm not leaving my plane. 490 00:16:04,789 --> 00:16:06,443 Oh, no, we've had this whole situation 491 00:16:06,443 --> 00:16:08,314 where Jalen Hurts felt trapped and he just freaked out 492 00:16:08,314 --> 00:16:10,316 - and ran away. - It was not Jalen Hurts, okay? 493 00:16:10,316 --> 00:16:11,839 - It was literally just some Black guy. - I... It was definitely 494 00:16:11,839 --> 00:16:13,145 - Jalen Hurts. Either way, - It was not Jalen Hurts. 495 00:16:13,145 --> 00:16:14,538 - let's just go. Let's go. - Let's go. Come on. 496 00:16:14,538 --> 00:16:16,192 - Up, up, up. - Ugh, all right, all right. 497 00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:22,633 Now, this is how to travel. 498 00:16:22,633 --> 00:16:24,156 - Yeah. - [sighs] 499 00:16:24,156 --> 00:16:26,898 Yeah, but I always wonder at whose expense. 500 00:16:26,898 --> 00:16:28,900 You know, when I was making my way 501 00:16:28,900 --> 00:16:30,684 on the Great White Way of Broadway... 502 00:16:30,684 --> 00:16:32,512 - Oh, my God. Jesus... Hey. - It was hard. 503 00:16:32,512 --> 00:16:33,948 You know, I-I have an idea. 504 00:16:33,948 --> 00:16:36,081 Why don't you just shut your eyes and go to sleep? 505 00:16:36,081 --> 00:16:39,215 And then I will let you know when you can wake up. 506 00:16:39,215 --> 00:16:41,217 - Okay? Shh. - Okay. Thank you. 507 00:16:41,217 --> 00:16:43,088 Okay. 508 00:16:43,088 --> 00:16:44,916 - Oh, but sleep's for pussies. - Geez. 509 00:16:44,916 --> 00:16:47,223 Let's party, am I right? Hey, guys, I'm Dee. 510 00:16:47,223 --> 00:16:49,181 Jesus, where'd you come from? 511 00:16:49,181 --> 00:16:51,096 I didn't know we were sharing the plane. 512 00:16:51,096 --> 00:16:53,185 - Yeah, I... - Ah! [laughs] 513 00:16:53,185 --> 00:16:55,013 Hi, I'm Frank, the owner. 514 00:16:55,013 --> 00:16:56,884 And you don't have to share the plane. 515 00:16:56,884 --> 00:17:00,366 This plane, this pretty little bird can be yours 516 00:17:00,366 --> 00:17:03,152 for a mere price of $35 mil. 517 00:17:03,152 --> 00:17:04,457 - [Dennis] Sorry, actually, um... - [Aaron groans] 518 00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:06,111 - It's a beautiful bird. - Hey, guys, don't worry. 519 00:17:06,111 --> 00:17:07,504 We're not-not here to sell you a plane. Frank, please, don't. 520 00:17:07,504 --> 00:17:09,245 Yeah, we want to... We-we'd sell the plane 521 00:17:09,245 --> 00:17:11,073 - We would, but that's not the point. - if you would go for it, 522 00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:12,378 - you'd buy it. - Just... We're not selling the plane. 523 00:17:12,378 --> 00:17:14,206 - Okay, we're here to sell you, um... - A lifestyle 524 00:17:14,206 --> 00:17:15,816 - No, no. - and ill-fitting suits. 525 00:17:15,816 --> 00:17:17,557 - No, no, no, uh, that-that's also wrong. - [laughs] 526 00:17:17,557 --> 00:17:19,124 - We're not selling any of that, okay? - Okay. 527 00:17:19,124 --> 00:17:20,691 - [laughs] - No, no, no. Let's-let's... No. 528 00:17:20,691 --> 00:17:21,909 We're here to sell you a, uh... 529 00:17:21,909 --> 00:17:23,389 Nickelschlaäger! 530 00:17:23,389 --> 00:17:24,782 No, goddamn it! None of that. 531 00:17:24,782 --> 00:17:26,131 None of that. Okay, listen-listen to me. Listen. 532 00:17:26,131 --> 00:17:27,437 - Look, we're just... Listen. - He's the driver. 533 00:17:27,437 --> 00:17:29,221 Let's just start over, okay? 534 00:17:29,221 --> 00:17:31,136 We're gonna start all over, and we're gonna do it 535 00:17:31,136 --> 00:17:32,964 with a firm handshake. 536 00:17:33,965 --> 00:17:35,880 Oh. I'm not supposed to. 537 00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:37,273 - Oh, come on, man. - [Mac] I think you're in 538 00:17:37,273 --> 00:17:38,752 an abusive relationship. 539 00:17:38,752 --> 00:17:41,625 Okay! This is absolutely insane. 540 00:17:41,625 --> 00:17:43,235 Put your hand down, Bryan. 541 00:17:43,235 --> 00:17:45,411 But I don't mind shaking his hand, really, I don't... 542 00:17:45,411 --> 00:17:46,934 No, put it down, you silly little bitch. 543 00:17:46,934 --> 00:17:48,153 Put it down. 544 00:17:48,153 --> 00:17:50,373 - Put it down. - No. 545 00:17:50,373 --> 00:17:51,852 Don't you touch him. 546 00:17:51,852 --> 00:17:54,028 I said no. 547 00:17:54,028 --> 00:17:56,509 [Aaron] What? Oh, my God. 548 00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:58,207 What is happening? 549 00:17:59,469 --> 00:18:00,861 Sit down. 550 00:18:00,861 --> 00:18:02,776 Please, just sit down. 551 00:18:03,864 --> 00:18:05,475 - You want us to sit down? - Sit down, please, 552 00:18:05,475 --> 00:18:07,520 - all of you. - We-we will sit down. 553 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:08,913 [Dennis] Yeah, why don't we all sit down? 554 00:18:08,913 --> 00:18:12,177 I don't ask for a lot. 555 00:18:12,177 --> 00:18:14,658 An Emmy here, a Tony there. 556 00:18:14,658 --> 00:18:17,617 Little pocket change for the one-armed succubus in Reno. 557 00:18:17,617 --> 00:18:18,879 But you. 558 00:18:20,316 --> 00:18:22,927 You, you're... It's never enough for you. 559 00:18:22,927 --> 00:18:24,668 You want it all. 560 00:18:24,668 --> 00:18:26,757 And you deceived me into thinking 561 00:18:26,757 --> 00:18:29,281 that-that I wanted it all, too, and I don't. 562 00:18:29,281 --> 00:18:32,458 And you took charge of our little operation, 563 00:18:32,458 --> 00:18:34,373 and ever since then, 564 00:18:34,373 --> 00:18:38,290 you've been... you've been controlling my life. 565 00:18:40,814 --> 00:18:43,339 You control everything. 566 00:18:45,906 --> 00:18:47,125 Or do you? 567 00:18:49,867 --> 00:18:51,912 Maybe... 568 00:18:51,912 --> 00:18:54,480 you are the one being deceived. 569 00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:57,962 Maybe being the front man 570 00:18:57,962 --> 00:19:00,486 of an alcohol business 571 00:19:00,486 --> 00:19:03,881 places your head so far out in front of you 572 00:19:03,881 --> 00:19:06,666 that you don't even realize 573 00:19:06,666 --> 00:19:09,234 that your neck is exposed. 574 00:19:09,234 --> 00:19:12,324 Enough to be lopped off 575 00:19:12,324 --> 00:19:14,065 by a public 576 00:19:14,065 --> 00:19:16,328 so thirsty to taste the blood 577 00:19:16,328 --> 00:19:18,809 of greedy celebrities. 578 00:19:20,811 --> 00:19:23,030 So, when they come... 579 00:19:23,030 --> 00:19:25,381 and they will... 580 00:19:25,381 --> 00:19:27,818 who are they gonna come after, huh? 581 00:19:27,818 --> 00:19:30,690 The sweet, hapless boob... 582 00:19:31,996 --> 00:19:34,825 ...or the slick-talking, scheming millennial? 583 00:19:36,087 --> 00:19:38,263 [chuckles] 584 00:19:38,263 --> 00:19:41,005 So, I ask you... 585 00:19:41,962 --> 00:19:43,834 ...bitch... 586 00:19:46,358 --> 00:19:48,752 ...who is really in charge here? 587 00:19:48,752 --> 00:19:50,623 [sniffs] 588 00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:53,583 [sighs] 589 00:19:53,583 --> 00:19:55,280 Boom. 590 00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:58,283 And that, my friends, 591 00:19:58,283 --> 00:19:59,763 is acting. 592 00:19:59,763 --> 00:20:01,721 - [laughs] - What? Wow! 593 00:20:01,721 --> 00:20:04,115 - What?! - Wait, wait. 594 00:20:04,115 --> 00:20:05,769 - That was... - That-that was all fake? 595 00:20:05,769 --> 00:20:07,553 Made it all up. Fake, fake, fake, fake. 596 00:20:07,553 --> 00:20:08,989 No offense, anything I said. 597 00:20:08,989 --> 00:20:10,208 - Oh, no, you're welcome... - I was just joking. 598 00:20:10,208 --> 00:20:11,514 But I do love to perform. 599 00:20:11,514 --> 00:20:13,603 - I do, it's in my blood. - You got the stuff. 600 00:20:13,603 --> 00:20:16,040 Uh, you should consider doing a drama, Mr. Middle. 601 00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:17,389 - You really should consider doing drama. - Yeah. 602 00:20:17,389 --> 00:20:18,782 - That's a good idea. - I think you got the goods, man. 603 00:20:18,782 --> 00:20:20,262 Hey, so listen, do you guys want to invest? 604 00:20:21,306 --> 00:20:23,090 - Boss? - Fuck no. 605 00:20:23,090 --> 00:20:25,745 - Fuck no! No. - Fuck no! 606 00:20:25,745 --> 00:20:27,007 [Aaron] Of course not. I don't want to spend 607 00:20:27,007 --> 00:20:28,313 another moment with you crazies. 608 00:20:28,313 --> 00:20:29,793 - Not another minute. - You people are insane. 609 00:20:29,793 --> 00:20:31,621 Get me off this plane. 610 00:21:08,005 --> 00:21:10,834 [crowd chanting backwards] 48444

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.