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1
00:00:05,039 --> 00:00:07,341
Here, fishy, fishy.
Chow time.
2
00:00:07,408 --> 00:00:11,179
Can I feed the fish?
No, no, no, no, sir.
3
00:00:11,245 --> 00:00:13,747
Nobody comes
Near this fish.
4
00:00:13,814 --> 00:00:15,583
Dad, what's
The big deal?
5
00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:17,485
It belongs
To lieutenant murtagh.
6
00:00:17,551 --> 00:00:19,520
I'm fishy sitting
While he's in las vegas,
7
00:00:19,587 --> 00:00:23,891
Searching for the future
Mrs. Murtagh.
8
00:00:23,957 --> 00:00:27,128
He may be gone
A long time.
9
00:00:28,562 --> 00:00:31,199
Come on, eat up, spike.
Your food's getting wet.
10
00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:36,204
Anyone care to join us
In a happy dance?
11
00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:40,308
Ho! Ho! Ho!
Ho! Ho! Ho!
12
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:42,042
Hey, what's up?
13
00:00:42,110 --> 00:00:43,511
The urkels
Are packing their car
14
00:00:43,577 --> 00:00:46,414
It looks like they're
Going on vacation!
15
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:49,317
Oh, yeah!
16
00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:51,952
How much luggage?
17
00:00:52,019 --> 00:00:53,954
Two weeks' worth, easy.
18
00:00:54,021 --> 00:00:56,790
Two weeks
Without steve urkel?
19
00:00:56,857 --> 00:00:58,126
Wow.
20
00:00:58,192 --> 00:01:00,661
Maybe dreams
Really do come true.
21
00:01:02,096 --> 00:01:04,465
Ladies and gentlemen,
We have taillights!
22
00:01:04,532 --> 00:01:06,934
The urkels are gone!
Yes!
23
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:09,237
Yeah!
Ho! Ho!
24
00:01:09,303 --> 00:01:11,139
Yay!
Hey! Ho!
25
00:01:11,205 --> 00:01:13,641
[all cheering]
26
00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:16,910
Hey, a party!
27
00:01:16,977 --> 00:01:19,747
Let's get down
With our bad self!
28
00:01:19,813 --> 00:01:22,616
Ho! Ho!
29
00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:24,452
Ho! Ho!
30
00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:26,854
Ho! Ho!
31
00:01:36,330 --> 00:01:38,432
* it's a rare condition *
32
00:01:38,499 --> 00:01:39,900
* in this day and age *
33
00:01:39,967 --> 00:01:43,471
* to read any good news
On the newspaper page *
34
00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:46,807
* and love and tradition
Of the grand design *
35
00:01:46,874 --> 00:01:51,545
* some people say
Is even harder to find *
36
00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:54,548
* well, then, there must be
Some magic clue *
37
00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:58,686
* inside these gentle walls *
38
00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:02,356
* 'cause all I see
Is a tower of dreams *
39
00:02:02,423 --> 00:02:06,294
* real love burstin'
Out of every seam *
40
00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:10,331
* as days go by *
41
00:02:10,398 --> 00:02:14,268
* we're gonna fill our
House with happiness *
42
00:02:14,335 --> 00:02:17,070
* the moon may cry *
43
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:21,074
* but we'll smother
The blues with tenderness *
44
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:24,378
* as days go by *
45
00:02:24,445 --> 00:02:27,881
* there's room for
You room for me *
46
00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:32,019
* for gentle hearts
An opportunity *
47
00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:35,223
* as days go by *
48
00:02:35,289 --> 00:02:39,827
* it's the bigger love
Of the family *
49
00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:52,606
Uh, steve...
50
00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:56,377
We thought you were
Going on vacation,
Steve.
51
00:02:56,444 --> 00:03:00,080
Why aren't you
On vacation, steve?
52
00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:01,715
Uh, well, it would
Have been inappropriate
53
00:03:01,782 --> 00:03:05,118
For me to join my parents.
They went on their
Second honeymoon.
54
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:07,655
Oh, how romantic.
Where did they go?
55
00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:09,823
Well, my mother
Went to washington
56
00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:11,058
To visit
The smithsonian.
57
00:03:11,124 --> 00:03:12,493
My dad went
To new york
58
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:15,263
To see clem puddle's
House of reptiles.
59
00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:20,501
You know...
60
00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:23,070
Several questions
Come to mind here.
61
00:03:23,136 --> 00:03:24,805
Oh, shoot.
62
00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:28,509
Your parents are taking
Separate second honeymoons?
63
00:03:28,576 --> 00:03:30,844
Oh, yes. They
Desperately want to avoid
64
00:03:30,911 --> 00:03:33,814
The tragedy
That resulted from
Their first honeymoon.
65
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:42,456
What was that?
Me.
66
00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:47,661
Okay, second
Question--
67
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:50,230
Why would a guy spend
His second honeymoon
68
00:03:50,298 --> 00:03:52,966
At clem puddle's
House of reptiles?
69
00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:55,603
Now, for some
Unknown reason,
70
00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:57,905
My father is fascinated
With animals
71
00:03:57,971 --> 00:03:59,907
That eat
Their own young.
72
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:05,379
Go figure.
73
00:04:06,514 --> 00:04:09,483
So, steve, where are you
Going to be staying
74
00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:11,051
While your parents
Are gone?
75
00:04:11,118 --> 00:04:14,355
Some relative's house
Far, far away?
76
00:04:15,323 --> 00:04:19,693
Is that pity
I hear in your voice?
77
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,695
No. It's hope.
78
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:26,066
Ah. Well,
My little fig newton,
79
00:04:26,133 --> 00:04:27,901
I'll be right next
Door bach'ing it
80
00:04:27,968 --> 00:04:29,737
For the next
Two weeks.
81
00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:32,306
So, stop by.
82
00:04:32,373 --> 00:04:34,908
One hunk
And no waiting.
83
00:04:38,412 --> 00:04:39,947
Wait a minute.
84
00:04:40,013 --> 00:04:44,418
Your parents left
A 15-year-old boy
Home by himself?
85
00:04:46,053 --> 00:04:47,755
Boy?
86
00:04:51,325 --> 00:04:53,627
I see no boy.
87
00:04:55,195 --> 00:04:57,731
I see a man!
88
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:03,303
A manly man.
89
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:07,341
An urkel man.
90
00:05:11,345 --> 00:05:13,581
Okay, but I can't
Stand the thought
91
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:16,016
Of you being in that
House all by yourself.
92
00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:17,918
You're staying with us.
93
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:19,620
Oh, well, gee...
94
00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:22,690
Since there don't seem
To be any objections...
95
00:05:29,630 --> 00:05:31,865
I'll stay, by golly.
96
00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:36,537
Hey, and don't worry.
I will not be a freeloader.
97
00:05:36,604 --> 00:05:38,972
I intend
To pull my weight
Around here.
98
00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:41,809
Well, that should be easy
Because I don't weigh much.
99
00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:42,976
[laughing]
100
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:54,422
[playing blues music]
101
00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:56,857
* got a pair of suspenders *
102
00:05:56,924 --> 00:05:59,460
* hike my pants
Way up high *
103
00:05:59,527 --> 00:06:01,429
* don't care
If the kids bug me *
104
00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:03,363
* 'cause I'm a stylin' guy *
105
00:06:03,431 --> 00:06:08,101
* and I got
The urkel blues *
106
00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:10,804
* and I gotta pay *
107
00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:14,141
* my dues *
108
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:16,009
* please don't judge me *
109
00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:17,511
* till you walk *
110
00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:20,481
* in my saddle shoes *
111
00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:24,384
Ooh, that was good.
112
00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:30,624
* got a lady named laura *
113
00:06:30,691 --> 00:06:32,426
* she's mighty fine *
114
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,195
* before the next ice age *
115
00:06:35,262 --> 00:06:37,130
* I'm gonna
Make her mine *
116
00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:38,198
* 'cause I got the *
117
00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:41,469
* urkel blues *
118
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:44,505
* and I gotta pay *
119
00:06:44,572 --> 00:06:46,640
* my dues *
120
00:06:46,707 --> 00:06:48,175
* those pocket-protectin' *
121
00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:49,376
* bug-collectin' *
122
00:06:49,443 --> 00:06:50,978
* constant rejectin' *
123
00:06:51,044 --> 00:06:54,014
* urkel blues *
124
00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:05,759
Steve!
125
00:07:05,826 --> 00:07:09,797
Oh, hi, big guy.
I didn't wake you,
Did I?
126
00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:13,534
Oh, no, steve.
I came down
To sing backup.
127
00:07:13,601 --> 00:07:16,770
Oh, and look,
You even woke up spike.
128
00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:20,040
Oh, you mean
The terrafilum scaleri?
129
00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:21,141
Right.
130
00:07:21,208 --> 00:07:23,877
I'm taking care of him
For lieutenant murtagh,
131
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:25,145
So that means
132
00:07:25,212 --> 00:07:28,882
No more late-night
Blues sessions
With b.B. Urkel.
133
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:31,552
Got it.
Hey, and bonsoir,
Big guy.
134
00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:33,386
Or as they say
In old mexico,
135
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:36,590
Buenas noches,
Hombre grande.
136
00:07:39,627 --> 00:07:41,895
Viva zapata.
137
00:07:43,531 --> 00:07:45,465
Viva zapata?
138
00:07:49,402 --> 00:07:50,738
[blows out candle]
139
00:07:51,371 --> 00:07:52,706
[steve laughing]
140
00:07:56,844 --> 00:08:01,048
Steve got up early
This morning and fixed
Us a wonderful breakfast.
141
00:08:01,114 --> 00:08:02,149
What'd you make, steve?
142
00:08:02,215 --> 00:08:03,250
Omelets.
143
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:05,553
Ooh, I love omelets.
144
00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:08,288
What kind?
Liver and head cheese.
145
00:08:08,355 --> 00:08:09,923
Get going!
146
00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:19,533
Oh, let them go.
147
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:21,569
More for us,
Eh, little buddy?
148
00:08:21,635 --> 00:08:23,403
I'm not hungry,
Uncle steve.
149
00:08:23,470 --> 00:08:25,005
I got a problem.
150
00:08:25,072 --> 00:08:28,676
Oh, well,
Spit it out,
Richmeister.
151
00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:31,444
There's this
Kid at school
Who picks on me.
152
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,413
His name is
Timmy thompson,
153
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:35,849
But we call him
"The terminator."
154
00:08:36,784 --> 00:08:38,919
Oh, tough guy, huh?
155
00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:42,556
One time, he ate
A whole alphabet block.
156
00:08:43,924 --> 00:08:45,225
Whoa, boy!
157
00:08:45,292 --> 00:08:46,860
He tell me
He'll beat me up
158
00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:49,396
If I don't give him
A dollar every day,
159
00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:50,898
Starting today.
160
00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:53,433
You know, I think you
Should tell your mom.
161
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:55,636
I can't. She told me
Never to fight
162
00:08:55,703 --> 00:08:58,538
Under any circlestances.
163
00:08:58,606 --> 00:09:00,107
Well, tell
Your teacher.
164
00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:01,441
She'll just make timmy
165
00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:03,376
Stand in the corner
For a while.
166
00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:04,678
Then, after school,
167
00:09:04,745 --> 00:09:06,479
He'll hit me
Over the head
168
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,749
With his little brother.
169
00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:12,052
Well, why are you
Telling me?
170
00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:15,522
I don't know,
You just seem like
The kind of guy
171
00:09:15,589 --> 00:09:17,991
Who gets
Beat up a lot.
172
00:09:22,830 --> 00:09:26,266
Me? Beat up a lot?
Well, I--
173
00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:28,636
You're very perceptive.
174
00:09:29,469 --> 00:09:30,771
How do you
Handle bullies?
175
00:09:30,838 --> 00:09:32,640
I stand up to them.
176
00:09:32,706 --> 00:09:34,908
Don't they hit you?
Repeatedly.
177
00:09:36,543 --> 00:09:38,445
Then why
Stand up to them?
178
00:09:38,511 --> 00:09:41,381
Richie, getting beat up
Feels real bad,
179
00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:43,216
But being afraid
All the time,
180
00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:45,653
Oh, that feels even worse.
181
00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:57,364
[doorbell rings]
182
00:10:06,807 --> 00:10:08,441
Hi, I'm mark.
183
00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:10,110
I have a study date
With laura.
184
00:10:10,177 --> 00:10:14,748
Ah, yes, laura told me
You'd be dropping by.
185
00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:15,883
Laura's out right now,
186
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,317
But she's
Due back shortly.
187
00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:18,786
Come on in, mark,
188
00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:20,954
If that's
Your real name.
189
00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:26,994
Hey, are you
Steve urkel?
190
00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:28,996
Why, yes.
How'd you know?
191
00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:31,398
You have
A "Kick me" sign
On your back.
192
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:34,868
Why, those teachers,
Always with
The darn pranks.
193
00:10:37,437 --> 00:10:39,239
Ah ah ah ah!
Up, up, up.
194
00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:40,273
Huh?
195
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:41,308
Now, I'll need three
196
00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:42,342
Forms of identification
197
00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:44,044
And a thumbprint.
198
00:10:44,111 --> 00:10:47,781
But first, would you kindly
Step into the bathroom
199
00:10:47,848 --> 00:10:50,017
And fill this?
200
00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:53,887
What?
201
00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:56,323
You object to
A random drug test?
202
00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:58,325
I sure do.
That's insulting.
203
00:10:58,391 --> 00:11:01,228
Oh, I see.
204
00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:04,397
It's alright
For our nation's
Air traffic controllers,
205
00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:07,100
But not for mark,
206
00:11:08,035 --> 00:11:10,303
If that's
Your real name.
207
00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:12,505
Man, you're crazy.
208
00:11:12,572 --> 00:11:13,707
What? Crazy?
209
00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:14,975
Crazy? What?
210
00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:19,112
Apparently, we had
Something to hide.
211
00:11:22,049 --> 00:11:24,885
Uncle steve!
Uncle steve!
212
00:11:24,952 --> 00:11:26,987
Richie, what
Happened to you?
213
00:11:27,054 --> 00:11:29,689
I stood up to
Timmy the terminator.
214
00:11:29,757 --> 00:11:33,226
Guess what.
He's a sucker
For a left hook.
215
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:38,531
Oh, well,
Way to go, richie.
216
00:11:38,598 --> 00:11:42,135
Richard crawford,
You get up to your
Room right now.
217
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,370
But, mom--
Go.
218
00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:44,838
Going.
219
00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:52,746
Steve...
220
00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:54,748
Did you give
My son some advice?
221
00:11:54,815 --> 00:11:56,884
Well, I believe I--
222
00:11:56,950 --> 00:12:00,687
Did you tell him that
It was okay to fight?
223
00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:02,890
Well, now, not in
Those exact words.
224
00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:05,392
Well, he took
Your advice, steve.
225
00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:06,860
He got into
A fight today.
226
00:12:06,927 --> 00:12:10,030
And thanks to you,
He's been kicked
Out of preschool.
227
00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:31,451
Steve...
228
00:12:32,719 --> 00:12:34,888
Y-yes, laura,
My little dust bunny.
229
00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:38,859
What did you do
To my study date?
230
00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:40,593
Oh, you mean mark,
231
00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:43,130
If that's
His real name.
232
00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:45,565
I said hi to him,
And he crossed the street,
233
00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:49,269
Mumbling something
About our house having
A nerd infestation.
234
00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:53,273
Well, sticks and stones
May break my bones,
235
00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:55,542
But I'm here,
And he's not, baby.
236
00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:02,349
Steve, you've only been
Staying here for one day,
237
00:13:02,415 --> 00:13:04,551
And you've totally
Messed up my life.
238
00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,854
Get a new hobby.
239
00:13:09,756 --> 00:13:13,961
I can't seem to do
Anything right.
240
00:13:14,027 --> 00:13:17,797
Did you ever have
One of those days, spike?
241
00:13:17,865 --> 00:13:20,267
Well, I'm telling you.
242
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,325
Ah...
243
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,562
Here we go.
244
00:13:49,629 --> 00:13:50,697
Oh!
245
00:13:50,763 --> 00:13:52,099
Oh, my god!
246
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:53,400
Oh!
247
00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:54,434
Oh!
248
00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:57,070
Oh! Oh! Oh!
249
00:13:57,137 --> 00:13:59,272
Spike! Spike! Spike!
250
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,074
Spike! Spike!
251
00:14:01,141 --> 00:14:03,243
Spike! Oh, spike!
252
00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:04,144
Spike!
253
00:14:04,211 --> 00:14:06,379
Oh, my goodness. Oh.
254
00:14:06,446 --> 00:14:08,481
Oh! Oh, no.
255
00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:10,417
Oh, no!
256
00:14:30,837 --> 00:14:32,039
How are you doing,
Steve?
257
00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:33,273
[steve gulps]
258
00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:35,608
Aah!
259
00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,945
Oh! Oh, dear!
260
00:14:38,011 --> 00:14:40,981
[giggling]
261
00:14:46,086 --> 00:14:48,721
What's wrong?
262
00:14:48,788 --> 00:14:50,057
Uh, well, uh...
263
00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:53,026
Steve, where's spike?
264
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:56,896
[gulps]
265
00:14:56,964 --> 00:15:00,300
Well, uh, carl...
266
00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:04,904
I've got
Some bad news...
267
00:15:04,972 --> 00:15:07,874
And some
Good news...
268
00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:11,878
And some more
Bad news.
269
00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:14,147
Spit it out.
270
00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:24,057
Oh, it's a little
Late for that, carl.
271
00:15:27,727 --> 00:15:30,630
Uh, well, uh,
Here goes.
272
00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:33,133
You see, carl, I...
273
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:34,401
I...
274
00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:38,038
I accidentally
Sucked spike up
In the vacuum cleaner.
275
00:15:38,105 --> 00:15:39,639
What?
Oh, my god!
276
00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:41,641
Oh--oh, carl,
But--but the good news
277
00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:43,510
Is that--that I got him out.
278
00:15:43,576 --> 00:15:46,413
Oh, thank god.
279
00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:49,582
But you know
That more bad news
I was talking about?
280
00:15:52,885 --> 00:15:54,721
Yeah, well,
I, uh...
281
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:57,090
I swallowed him.
282
00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:01,261
We've gotta
Get him back.
283
00:16:01,328 --> 00:16:04,497
Oh, my god.
What's your plan?
284
00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:05,598
Hello, winslow.
285
00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:07,334
Oh...
286
00:16:13,740 --> 00:16:15,842
Lieutenant murtagh.
287
00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:17,677
You're--you're back early
288
00:16:17,744 --> 00:16:19,712
From las vegas.
289
00:16:19,779 --> 00:16:21,148
Yeah, yeah.
290
00:16:21,214 --> 00:16:23,383
So, how's my fish?
291
00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:24,717
Well, well, I--
292
00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:25,818
Well, well, sir, I--
293
00:16:25,885 --> 00:16:27,820
Uh, uh, well,
Uh, well, I...
294
00:16:27,887 --> 00:16:31,124
Uh, uh, uh,
Lou, lou, lou...
295
00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:36,496
There's been
A tragedy.
296
00:16:36,563 --> 00:16:40,300
Something terrible
Has happened
To your fish.
297
00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:42,602
Terrible?
Oh...
298
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:45,138
Oh, there's no way to
Break the news gently.
299
00:16:45,205 --> 00:16:49,109
So I might as well
Just come right out
With the truth.
300
00:16:49,176 --> 00:16:50,210
Here goes.
301
00:16:50,277 --> 00:16:52,545
Your fish, fish
Committed suicide.
302
00:16:53,780 --> 00:16:55,748
He what?
He what?
303
00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:58,785
Yes, sir. It--it...
304
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:01,054
It was awful, sir.
305
00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:05,692
He went...
306
00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:07,294
The minute you left,
307
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:10,363
Well, spike got
So very sad.
308
00:17:13,733 --> 00:17:16,203
He stopped eating.
309
00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:19,406
He stopped swimming.
310
00:17:19,472 --> 00:17:20,507
Excuse me.
311
00:17:20,573 --> 00:17:22,175
[blows nose]
312
00:17:22,242 --> 00:17:26,346
He just, he just
Pressed his little face
Up against the glass...
313
00:17:31,218 --> 00:17:34,887
Oh, puh-lease.
314
00:17:34,954 --> 00:17:37,357
Carl,
Stop covering for me,
315
00:17:37,424 --> 00:17:40,327
Or at least do
A better job of it.
316
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:43,330
Will somebody please tell me
What happened to my fish?
317
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:47,567
Lou, I accidentally
Killed spike.
318
00:17:47,634 --> 00:17:51,037
I sucked him up in
That very vacuum cleaner.
319
00:17:51,104 --> 00:17:54,541
Oh, come on.
That's pretty
Hard to swallow.
320
00:18:02,982 --> 00:18:05,685
Well, now, don't get
Ahead of me, lou.
321
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:17,230
[arguing]
322
00:18:19,866 --> 00:18:20,900
Alright.
323
00:18:20,967 --> 00:18:22,969
Alright, alright!
324
00:18:23,035 --> 00:18:25,004
Now, one at a time.
325
00:18:25,071 --> 00:18:29,176
Harriette, the boy
Turned my boss'
Pet fish into sushi.
326
00:18:29,242 --> 00:18:31,144
And this timmy problem
Won't go away.
327
00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:32,779
I was in
The supermarket,
328
00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:36,683
And his mother tried
To hit me over the head
With her husband.
329
00:18:39,252 --> 00:18:41,921
Mom, steve has got to go.
That's right!
330
00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:43,690
[arguing]
331
00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:46,726
Okay, okay, okay,
Okay, okay!
332
00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:50,597
Just give me a minute
To try to figure out
What to tell him.
333
00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:55,702
That won't be necessary.
334
00:18:55,768 --> 00:18:57,937
I was down in the basement
Cleaning the furnace,
335
00:18:58,004 --> 00:19:01,341
And I heard
Everything through
The heating ducts.
336
00:19:01,408 --> 00:19:03,810
I'll just,
Uh, head home.
337
00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:10,116
Steve...
Oh, please.
338
00:19:10,183 --> 00:19:14,354
I don't deserve to be
Around civilized people.
339
00:19:14,421 --> 00:19:15,922
You guys
Were nice enough
340
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,557
To let me stay
In your home,
341
00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:21,060
And, and I wanted
To repay you.
342
00:19:21,127 --> 00:19:24,297
But instead I messed
Everything up...
343
00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:26,533
Like I always do.
344
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:29,902
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
345
00:19:29,969 --> 00:19:32,705
Uncle steve
Helped me.
346
00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:34,474
No, he didn't,
Honey.
347
00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:35,942
I mean,
Thanks to steve,
348
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:39,111
I had to beg
To get you back
Into preschool.
349
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:42,515
But, mom, a bully
Was picking on me.
350
00:19:43,216 --> 00:19:44,817
A bully?
351
00:19:44,884 --> 00:19:46,286
Why, I didn't know that.
352
00:19:46,353 --> 00:19:49,256
Yeah, and I was afraid
To go to school,
353
00:19:49,322 --> 00:19:51,524
But I'm not anymore.
354
00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:52,725
Oh.
355
00:19:55,428 --> 00:19:57,730
You know, laura,
If I were you,
356
00:19:57,797 --> 00:20:01,868
I wouldn't be too upset
About your study date.
357
00:20:01,934 --> 00:20:02,935
Mark?
358
00:20:03,002 --> 00:20:05,338
If that's his real name.
359
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,208
Well,
What about him?
360
00:20:09,276 --> 00:20:12,512
Well, last night I saw him
On make-out mountain,
361
00:20:12,579 --> 00:20:17,250
And he was lip-locked
With a sassy little redhead.
362
00:20:17,317 --> 00:20:20,520
That's lisa templeman.
He told me he was
Breaking up with her.
363
00:20:20,587 --> 00:20:25,625
Mm-hmm. Well,
She sure got one
Heck of a goodbye kiss.
364
00:20:29,095 --> 00:20:31,163
Uh, mom...
365
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,633
What were you doing
Up at make-out mountain?
366
00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:34,734
[sighs]
367
00:20:34,801 --> 00:20:37,637
Carl, don't try
To change the subject.
368
00:20:37,704 --> 00:20:39,272
You see?
369
00:20:39,339 --> 00:20:41,941
You see?
370
00:20:42,008 --> 00:20:43,743
There is a silver lining
371
00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:46,679
Around all of
Steve's dark clouds.
372
00:20:49,816 --> 00:20:51,884
Steve, sit down.
373
00:20:55,422 --> 00:20:56,789
You know, steve,
374
00:20:56,856 --> 00:20:58,491
When we
Asked you to stay,
375
00:20:58,558 --> 00:21:00,527
You didn't have to
Do all the cleaning
376
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,194
And cooking and laundry.
377
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:04,531
We have harriette
For that.
378
00:21:09,836 --> 00:21:10,803
And me.
379
00:21:10,870 --> 00:21:12,339
[chuckling]
380
00:21:12,405 --> 00:21:14,206
Steve, when we
Asked you to stay,
381
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:16,409
All you had to do
Was just stay.
382
00:21:16,476 --> 00:21:17,710
You know, big guy,
383
00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:19,812
When you're right,
You're right.
384
00:21:19,879 --> 00:21:22,515
So what will you do
The next time you stay?
385
00:21:22,582 --> 00:21:25,885
I'll relax.
I won't try so hard.
386
00:21:25,952 --> 00:21:28,355
I'll just stay.
387
00:21:28,421 --> 00:21:30,823
You got it.
388
00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:32,892
Gee, thanks, big guy.
389
00:21:36,829 --> 00:21:38,498
There you go.
390
00:21:38,565 --> 00:21:43,202
Gee, this is such a wonderful,
Warm, touching moment.
391
00:21:43,269 --> 00:21:46,373
Do I feel a group hug
Coming on?
392
00:21:46,439 --> 00:21:48,274
No.
No.
No.
393
00:21:48,341 --> 00:21:49,676
I didn't think so,
394
00:21:49,742 --> 00:21:50,677
So let's dance
395
00:21:50,743 --> 00:21:53,279
And get down
With our bad selves.
396
00:21:53,346 --> 00:21:54,981
Ho! Ho!
397
00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:57,717
Ho! Ho! Ho!
Ho! Ho! Ho!
Ho! Ho! Ho!
398
00:21:57,784 --> 00:22:01,388
Ho! Ho! Ho!
Ho! Ho! Ho!
Ho! Ho! Ho!
26586
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