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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,991 --> 00:00:06,078 Whoo! Extreme! [CHUCKLING] 2 00:00:06,162 --> 00:00:08,747 Oh, you guys are probably curious about this. 3 00:00:08,831 --> 00:00:13,044 It's no biggie. My car is in the shop so I rode in on Rosa's motorcycle. 4 00:00:13,128 --> 00:00:15,630 I guess you could say I'm a "gearhead" now. 5 00:00:15,714 --> 00:00:18,300 He held on to me so tight it was like a two-mile Heimlich. 6 00:00:18,384 --> 00:00:20,134 Those things have no walls on them. 7 00:00:21,095 --> 00:00:23,431 Captain. Why are you sitting at my desk? 8 00:00:23,515 --> 00:00:28,311 Lieutenant Miller from Internal Affairs is here. He's taken over my office. 9 00:00:28,395 --> 00:00:30,346 Apparently someone has been leaking classified 10 00:00:30,430 --> 00:00:32,023 information to a criminal syndicate. 11 00:00:32,107 --> 00:00:33,776 The entire squad is under investigation. 12 00:00:33,860 --> 00:00:36,279 That's crazy. No one here's a mole. 13 00:00:36,363 --> 00:00:37,405 How can you be so sure? 14 00:00:37,489 --> 00:00:39,866 Because I know these guys. I know everything about them. 15 00:00:39,950 --> 00:00:42,953 Well, you're a poor police officer if you don't think that people can surprise you. 16 00:00:43,037 --> 00:00:44,913 Not these people. Here, watch this. 17 00:00:44,997 --> 00:00:46,790 I know what everyone's gonna do tonight. 18 00:00:46,874 --> 00:00:49,085 It's Thursday, so Gina's gonna leave early 19 00:00:49,169 --> 00:00:51,671 to rehearse with her new dance group, Dancy Reagan. 20 00:00:51,755 --> 00:00:53,131 They're the first ladies of movement. 21 00:00:53,215 --> 00:00:55,050 Amy's gonna be going over her weekly budget, 22 00:00:55,134 --> 00:00:58,345 and Charles will be attending a pizza-for-one cooking class. 23 00:00:58,429 --> 00:01:00,181 Tonight's menu, Pepper-alone-i. 24 00:01:00,265 --> 00:01:02,392 And, if I run and leap at Terry, 25 00:01:02,476 --> 00:01:04,769 he will most certainly catch me in his arms. Coming in! 26 00:01:04,853 --> 00:01:07,355 -No! I'm holding coffee! -[SMASHING] 27 00:01:07,439 --> 00:01:09,484 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 28 00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:30,966 Hey, I'm about to sit down with Internal Affairs. 29 00:01:31,050 --> 00:01:32,551 Figured that I'll charm them 30 00:01:32,635 --> 00:01:33,761 with a couple of quips about 31 00:01:33,845 --> 00:01:35,638 my own "internal affairs." 32 00:01:35,722 --> 00:01:36,847 Talking about my "tum-tum." 33 00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:38,225 Please don't joke around in there. 34 00:01:38,309 --> 00:01:39,601 I know you're used to riffing with me, 35 00:01:39,685 --> 00:01:41,102 but Internal Affairs detectives 36 00:01:41,186 --> 00:01:42,562 rarely have my sense of humor. 37 00:01:42,646 --> 00:01:44,397 Wow, you are really worried 38 00:01:44,481 --> 00:01:46,234 about this investigation. 39 00:01:46,318 --> 00:01:47,610 Okay, fine. I promise 40 00:01:47,694 --> 00:01:49,612 I will be stone cold serious in my interview. 41 00:01:49,696 --> 00:01:52,157 I'll even use my serious face. 42 00:01:52,992 --> 00:01:54,743 If you're wondering how I'm pulling this off, 43 00:01:54,827 --> 00:01:56,119 I'm thinking about the time when I was eight 44 00:01:56,203 --> 00:01:57,996 and Don Mattingly called me a little turd. 45 00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:00,250 Was he right? Yes. 46 00:02:01,418 --> 00:02:03,545 Hey there, Jake Peralta. 47 00:02:04,921 --> 00:02:08,551 I'm sorry. Handshakes are the greatest avenues of germ transmission. 48 00:02:08,635 --> 00:02:11,929 I generally prefer simple nods. Okay. 49 00:02:12,013 --> 00:02:15,184 Would you, uh, pass me that hand sanitizer, please? 50 00:02:15,851 --> 00:02:19,355 Yeah. No, no, no! Use your elbows. 51 00:02:20,105 --> 00:02:22,900 Keep your nostrils closed. Don't breathe on it. 52 00:02:22,984 --> 00:02:24,527 Ah! 53 00:02:24,611 --> 00:02:26,404 Forget it, I'll just use a wipe. 54 00:02:26,488 --> 00:02:29,032 Smart. Get off dem germs. 55 00:02:29,116 --> 00:02:33,495 So. What information has been leaked and by who? 56 00:02:33,579 --> 00:02:35,455 You don't need to know that. 57 00:02:35,539 --> 00:02:37,500 All you need to know is that a felony has been committed 58 00:02:37,584 --> 00:02:40,461 by someone on your squad and I'm gonna find out who did it. 59 00:02:40,545 --> 00:02:43,841 Now, have you ever taken confidential information 60 00:02:43,925 --> 00:02:46,468 about an ongoing investigation out of this precinct? 61 00:02:46,552 --> 00:02:50,431 [SCOFFS] No. I would never do something that stupid. 62 00:02:50,515 --> 00:02:52,851 I did something really stupid. I need your help. 63 00:02:52,935 --> 00:02:56,062 You know how I'm kind of a sexy bad boy who rides motorcycles into work 64 00:02:56,146 --> 00:02:57,939 and is always breaking the rules in the name of justice? 65 00:02:58,023 --> 00:02:59,275 I don't like where this is going. 66 00:02:59,359 --> 00:03:02,695 Well, I also maybe sometimes bring home case files to work on them after hours 67 00:03:02,779 --> 00:03:04,822 and I might not be that great about returning them. 68 00:03:04,906 --> 00:03:07,826 [GASPS] Oh God! Are you aroused because of what a bad boy I am? 69 00:03:07,910 --> 00:03:09,328 No! No. 70 00:03:09,412 --> 00:03:11,663 You could be suspended for that. He could think you're the mole! 71 00:03:11,747 --> 00:03:12,891 [GROANING] Not so loud. 72 00:03:12,975 --> 00:03:15,252 [LOUDLY] Yes Amy, I do drink from the bowl. 73 00:03:15,669 --> 00:03:16,711 Definitely pulled that off. 74 00:03:16,795 --> 00:03:19,255 Look, I need to get those files. Can you please give me a ride? 75 00:03:19,339 --> 00:03:22,635 Fine, I'll get my stuff, but this better not bite me in the ass. 76 00:03:22,719 --> 00:03:24,470 "Better Not Bite Me in the Ass" is the name of your sex tape, 77 00:03:24,554 --> 00:03:26,854 but seriously, thank you so much for your help. 78 00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:29,351 Peralta, how'd it go with Miller? 79 00:03:29,435 --> 00:03:30,685 Fantastic. He loved me. 80 00:03:30,769 --> 00:03:33,396 I would give you more details but someone just came in to 81 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:35,483 try and find her Dalmatian coat. 82 00:03:36,776 --> 00:03:38,361 Hello, Raymond. 83 00:03:38,445 --> 00:03:42,449 Madeline. I had wondered why all the birds had suddenly stopped singing. 84 00:03:42,533 --> 00:03:43,575 What brings you here? 85 00:03:43,659 --> 00:03:45,911 I heard you were under investigation by Internal Affairs, 86 00:03:45,995 --> 00:03:47,037 didn't want to miss that. 87 00:03:47,121 --> 00:03:48,747 So much time with your ear to the pavement, 88 00:03:48,831 --> 00:03:51,542 it's a pity a truck hasn't run over your head. 89 00:03:51,626 --> 00:03:52,877 Very visual. 90 00:03:52,961 --> 00:03:56,882 When, oh, when will you quit police work and pursue your dream of poetry? 91 00:03:56,966 --> 00:03:59,051 I'm looking for Detective Scully. 92 00:03:59,135 --> 00:04:02,638 You must be from IAB I'm Deputy Chief Wuntch, nice to meet you. 93 00:04:03,891 --> 00:04:06,643 If you have a minute, I'd love a detailed report of this investigation. 94 00:04:06,727 --> 00:04:10,981 IAB exists outside of department hierarchy. I don't answer to you. 95 00:04:11,065 --> 00:04:12,525 Detective Scully, you're up. 96 00:04:12,609 --> 00:04:15,194 Oh, wow, okay, um… 97 00:04:15,278 --> 00:04:18,240 No. You know, we'll do this over the phone. 98 00:04:18,324 --> 00:04:21,326 Oh, Raymond. An Internal Affairs investigation? 99 00:04:21,410 --> 00:04:23,912 A Drug Task Force that hasn't found any drugs? 100 00:04:23,996 --> 00:04:25,707 This precinct's a disaster. 101 00:04:25,791 --> 00:04:27,709 Maybe that's why the birds stopped singing… 102 00:04:27,793 --> 00:04:29,919 Out of respect for the death of your career. 103 00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:31,296 Goodbye, Raymond. 104 00:04:33,591 --> 00:04:35,866 Detective Diaz, can you give me even a shred 105 00:04:35,950 --> 00:04:38,095 of good news about your Drug Task Force? 106 00:04:38,179 --> 00:04:40,932 The good news is I can be brief about it. We have nothing. 107 00:04:41,016 --> 00:04:44,269 Sorry, I had to talk my twins into getting their hair done. 108 00:04:44,353 --> 00:04:48,607 There are some promises involving lollipops I do not intend to keep. 109 00:04:48,691 --> 00:04:50,860 The Task Force has made some busts, 110 00:04:50,944 --> 00:04:54,448 but we still haven't found any high-level dealers or major drug stashes. 111 00:04:54,532 --> 00:04:55,615 But we will soon. 112 00:04:55,699 --> 00:04:59,870 Is that a promise? Or just another lollipop that no one's ever gonna lick? 113 00:04:59,954 --> 00:05:04,041 Wuntch is waiting for this Task Force to fail. I need tangible results. 114 00:05:04,125 --> 00:05:08,046 Sarge and I are going undercover at Electric Library. It's a silent disco. 115 00:05:08,171 --> 00:05:10,632 Everyone wears headphones. It's actually very respectful to the neighbors 116 00:05:10,716 --> 00:05:12,134 except for the lewd acts and vomiting. 117 00:05:12,218 --> 00:05:14,250 There's usually some ecstasy at these things 118 00:05:14,334 --> 00:05:16,306 so hopefully, we'll find some giggle pig. 119 00:05:16,390 --> 00:05:18,890 Great, I hope there's a lot of drug activity there. 120 00:05:20,185 --> 00:05:23,981 Of course, ideally, there will be nobody taking drugs there 121 00:05:24,065 --> 00:05:26,859 or anywhere else in the district, but if drugs must be found, 122 00:05:26,943 --> 00:05:30,446 let it be there. Please God, let it be there. 123 00:05:31,198 --> 00:05:32,533 Trunk! 124 00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:35,244 [GRUNTING] 125 00:05:36,453 --> 00:05:38,415 All right, that's it. 126 00:05:39,416 --> 00:05:43,461 One box of files and one box of powdered doughnuts from under my bed. 127 00:05:43,545 --> 00:05:44,796 Oh cool, can I see those? 128 00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:46,674 Yeah, sure. Thanks. 129 00:05:47,258 --> 00:05:48,592 PERALTA: Whoa! No, no, no! 130 00:05:48,676 --> 00:05:49,718 This is a new car. 131 00:05:49,802 --> 00:05:51,970 I won't have you Jake it up with doughnut powder. 132 00:05:52,054 --> 00:05:53,098 [SCOFFING] 133 00:05:53,515 --> 00:05:56,059 I hate to say it, but we still need to make one more stop. 134 00:05:56,143 --> 00:05:59,270 There's still some files at my old place, AKA Gina's apartment. 135 00:05:59,354 --> 00:06:02,024 [GROANING] Fine, I'll call her. 136 00:06:02,108 --> 00:06:04,652 Wow, there's so many fancy buttons on your steering wheel. 137 00:06:04,736 --> 00:06:07,072 It's like a spy car, that's cool. Here, let me call her. 138 00:06:07,156 --> 00:06:08,532 -JAKE: Yeah. -[BEEPING] 139 00:06:08,616 --> 00:06:11,535 -[DEEP VOICE] Car, call Gina Linetti. -[PHONE RINGING] 140 00:06:11,619 --> 00:06:13,745 What is that voice? It's my spy voice. 141 00:06:13,829 --> 00:06:15,999 [DEEP VOICE] Car, initiate ghost mode. 142 00:06:16,625 --> 00:06:17,792 That's a seat warmer. 143 00:06:17,876 --> 00:06:20,336 Wow, that's even better than rockets. My butt gets very cold. 144 00:06:20,420 --> 00:06:22,256 GINA [ON PHONE]: It's Gina's phone, leave me a voice mail. 145 00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:24,633 I won't check it 'cause it's not 1993. 146 00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:25,926 We should go there anyways. 147 00:06:26,010 --> 00:06:27,719 Her phone's probably off because of dance rehearsal. 148 00:06:27,803 --> 00:06:30,014 God, this IAB guy is ruining my life. 149 00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:33,393 But I do have some good news in three, two… 150 00:06:33,477 --> 00:06:34,561 Pocket doughnut! 151 00:06:34,645 --> 00:06:35,771 No! 152 00:06:36,648 --> 00:06:37,941 It's everywhere. 153 00:06:38,566 --> 00:06:39,734 Back up. 154 00:06:41,653 --> 00:06:43,905 [KNOCKING] Gina? Open up. 155 00:06:43,989 --> 00:06:45,782 [MUFFLED DANCE MUSIC PLAYING] 156 00:06:45,866 --> 00:06:48,493 [SIGHING] Well, luckily, I still have a key from when I lived here. 157 00:06:48,577 --> 00:06:51,247 Hmm. [CLEARING THROAT] Here we go. 158 00:06:53,583 --> 00:06:54,625 [GASPING] 159 00:06:54,709 --> 00:06:56,461 BOTH: Oh, my God! 160 00:06:57,170 --> 00:06:58,673 [SCREAMING] 161 00:06:58,798 --> 00:06:59,840 Oh, God! 162 00:07:01,801 --> 00:07:03,678 What is going on? 163 00:07:04,762 --> 00:07:06,055 Gina and I are casual lovers. 164 00:07:06,139 --> 00:07:07,181 [GROANING] Ick. 165 00:07:07,265 --> 00:07:08,308 Ew. 166 00:07:08,392 --> 00:07:09,809 How long has this been going on? 167 00:07:09,893 --> 00:07:12,083 We hooked up once last summer and then the 168 00:07:12,167 --> 00:07:14,440 nightmare started again about a month ago. 169 00:07:14,524 --> 00:07:16,025 Ever since then, it's been orgasm-city. 170 00:07:16,109 --> 00:07:17,151 [GROANING] Ick. 171 00:07:17,235 --> 00:07:19,403 Ew. Ugh, gross. Right, guys? 172 00:07:19,487 --> 00:07:22,115 Wait a minute, you lied to me? 173 00:07:22,199 --> 00:07:24,826 There was no pizza-for-one cooking class tonight. 174 00:07:24,910 --> 00:07:26,610 You've been lying to me for weeks! 175 00:07:26,745 --> 00:07:29,874 Oh, I can't tonight. I'm teaching inner city kids to make candles. 176 00:07:29,958 --> 00:07:32,794 Ooh, sorry, I'm going to a prenatal yoga class. 177 00:07:33,128 --> 00:07:35,548 No can do. Going to my adult tumbling class. 178 00:07:36,007 --> 00:07:37,799 Yes, Jake, those were lies, 179 00:07:37,883 --> 00:07:40,093 but the way you looked at me when you thought I was a gymnast 180 00:07:40,177 --> 00:07:41,261 made me wish it were true. 181 00:07:41,345 --> 00:07:44,724 You came into work with chalk on your hands, Boyle. 182 00:07:44,808 --> 00:07:46,559 I don't even know you anymore. 183 00:07:46,643 --> 00:07:49,688 I'm leaving. I just gotta get some old case files first. 184 00:07:49,772 --> 00:07:52,524 Don't be mad, Jake, you still know me. 185 00:07:52,608 --> 00:07:55,778 I'm still Charles. I just have four extra sex moves. 186 00:07:55,862 --> 00:07:57,822 Five. I forgot about boy on top. 187 00:07:57,906 --> 00:07:58,949 -Ugh! -SANTIAGO: Ick. 188 00:07:59,033 --> 00:08:00,116 GINA: Ew. 189 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:02,250 [TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING THROUGH HEADPHONES] 190 00:08:03,913 --> 00:08:04,997 [MUSIC STOPS] 191 00:08:05,081 --> 00:08:06,248 [MUSIC RESUMES] 192 00:08:06,332 --> 00:08:07,417 [MUSIC STOPS] 193 00:08:09,878 --> 00:08:11,338 [MUSIC RESUMES] 194 00:08:12,465 --> 00:08:14,759 Terry. Terry. 195 00:08:15,176 --> 00:08:18,054 I can't believe they call this a silent disco. 196 00:08:18,138 --> 00:08:19,764 This is not a disco. 197 00:08:19,848 --> 00:08:21,898 And I should know, I was raised on disco. 198 00:08:22,017 --> 00:08:25,688 [DISCO MUSIC PLAYING] 199 00:08:26,022 --> 00:08:28,691 Little Terry loved the Hustle. 200 00:08:29,358 --> 00:08:31,151 Excuse me, can I get a bottle of water? 201 00:08:31,235 --> 00:08:33,613 Good move, Giggle dehydrates the hell out of you. 202 00:08:33,697 --> 00:08:36,533 Yeah, I don't do that stuff. I don't even drink. 203 00:08:36,617 --> 00:08:39,536 Hey, your shirt. My daughters go to The Learning Grove. 204 00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:41,205 Did you get that from a vintage store or something? 205 00:08:41,289 --> 00:08:43,792 No, I went there. I was in the Dolphins class. 206 00:08:44,209 --> 00:08:46,127 And you don't do drugs or drink. 207 00:08:46,211 --> 00:08:48,047 Have a water on the house. 208 00:08:50,216 --> 00:08:51,258 Well, she was useless. 209 00:08:51,342 --> 00:08:53,635 Not entirely, I learned that my babies are on the right track 210 00:08:53,719 --> 00:08:55,680 because their preschool turns out nice kids. 211 00:08:55,764 --> 00:08:58,864 Yeah, I can't wait to tell Holt that at the Task Force meeting. 212 00:08:59,392 --> 00:09:03,648 Now, let's go look for some bad kids that went to sub-par preschools. 213 00:09:05,108 --> 00:09:06,442 That was insane. 214 00:09:06,526 --> 00:09:08,318 I mean, who else is hooking up that we don't know about? 215 00:09:08,402 --> 00:09:11,156 Rosa and Terry? Holt and Scully? You and Hitchcock? 216 00:09:11,824 --> 00:09:13,450 You need to forget about Charles, okay? 217 00:09:13,534 --> 00:09:15,118 You need to get inside and put those files back. 218 00:09:15,202 --> 00:09:16,328 Fine. 219 00:09:16,412 --> 00:09:18,330 Wait, wait, wait. Why'd I get Hitchcock? 220 00:09:18,414 --> 00:09:20,249 Because you're the girl version of him. 221 00:09:20,333 --> 00:09:22,793 [GASPS] Thanks again for all your help. Okay, bye. 222 00:09:22,877 --> 00:09:23,963 Wha… 223 00:09:24,588 --> 00:09:27,299 Hey, Captain. Mind if we sit? 224 00:09:28,092 --> 00:09:29,677 Is everything okay? 225 00:09:30,887 --> 00:09:32,556 Nothing's okay. 226 00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:38,104 Wuntch circling me like a shark frenzied by chum, 227 00:09:39,105 --> 00:09:42,524 the Task Force turning into a career threatening quagmire, 228 00:09:42,608 --> 00:09:45,779 an Internal Affairs investigation casting doubt upon my integrity. 229 00:09:45,863 --> 00:09:48,656 And you ask, "Is everything okay?" 230 00:09:48,740 --> 00:09:51,367 I am buffeted by the winds of my foes' enmity, 231 00:09:51,451 --> 00:09:55,707 and cast about by the towering waves of cruel fate. 232 00:09:56,249 --> 00:10:00,253 Yet I, a captain, am no longer able to command my vessel, 233 00:10:00,337 --> 00:10:03,006 my precinct, from my customary helm, my office. 234 00:10:03,090 --> 00:10:05,717 And you ask, "Is everything okay?" 235 00:10:05,801 --> 00:10:09,263 I've worked the better part of my years on Earth overcoming every prejudice 236 00:10:09,347 --> 00:10:11,015 and fighting for the position I hold, 237 00:10:11,099 --> 00:10:14,604 and now I feel it being ripped from my grasp, 238 00:10:15,313 --> 00:10:21,235 and with it, the very essence of what defines me as a man. 239 00:10:23,655 --> 00:10:27,784 And you ask… "Is everything okay?" 240 00:10:30,830 --> 00:10:33,332 Yeah, I hear you. 241 00:10:33,416 --> 00:10:36,253 My dog has taken over my favorite chair. 242 00:10:36,337 --> 00:10:38,714 It's like, how did it all slip away? 243 00:10:41,717 --> 00:10:43,553 Gentlemen. 244 00:10:44,888 --> 00:10:45,972 GINA: Damn it, Charles. 245 00:10:46,056 --> 00:10:49,100 This is a crisis. Step one, termination. 246 00:10:49,184 --> 00:10:51,019 You and I will never touch again. 247 00:10:51,103 --> 00:10:54,690 Damn. If I'd known it was our last time, I would have moaned more. 248 00:10:54,774 --> 00:10:57,067 Step two, containment. 249 00:10:57,151 --> 00:11:00,155 We need to make sure that no one else finds out. 250 00:11:00,239 --> 00:11:02,657 Yeah, Jake won't tell anyone if I ask him not to. 251 00:11:02,741 --> 00:11:04,409 I'll handle him. You take care of Amy. 252 00:11:04,493 --> 00:11:06,453 But how to make it look like an accident? 253 00:11:06,537 --> 00:11:09,498 I'm not saying murder, just talk to her like a normal person. 254 00:11:09,582 --> 00:11:12,460 Right, even better. Get her to tell me all her little secrets. 255 00:11:12,544 --> 00:11:15,544 Then if she tries anything… [GRUNTING] We can destroy her. 256 00:11:24,182 --> 00:11:25,266 Hello, Peralta. 257 00:11:25,350 --> 00:11:26,851 Oh, my God! Hi. 258 00:11:26,935 --> 00:11:28,187 What's going on here? 259 00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:31,607 Funny story. I took these files home a while ago, 260 00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:35,069 even though I shouldn't have, and now I'm bringing them back. 261 00:11:35,153 --> 00:11:38,031 Isn't that funny? Are you laughing behind the mask? 262 00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:40,284 No. 263 00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:48,250 Kev! Jake, it's after midnight. 264 00:11:48,334 --> 00:11:49,628 This had better be about a murder. 265 00:11:49,712 --> 00:11:53,632 No, I wish. Look, I'm really sorry, but I have to talk to Captain Holt. 266 00:11:53,716 --> 00:11:55,592 Raymond, your work life is here. 267 00:11:55,676 --> 00:11:57,637 Please come in. Take off your shoes. 268 00:11:57,721 --> 00:11:59,889 Neither of us want that. 269 00:12:00,765 --> 00:12:04,269 What is going on, Peralta? This has been a long day. 270 00:12:04,353 --> 00:12:07,356 Well, IAB caught me returning some classified files 271 00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:09,983 and I am now the prime suspect in the mole investigation, 272 00:12:10,067 --> 00:12:11,736 and Miller said I would be suspended in the morning. 273 00:12:11,820 --> 00:12:16,199 But more importantly, what does the "J" stand for? James? John. 274 00:12:16,867 --> 00:12:17,910 Jojo? 275 00:12:17,994 --> 00:12:20,329 My middle name is more important to you than being suspended? 276 00:12:20,413 --> 00:12:22,122 If it's Jojo, yes. 277 00:12:22,206 --> 00:12:24,959 Look, I came here because we have to figure this thing out. 278 00:12:25,043 --> 00:12:26,962 Miller is sure there's a mole in the precinct 279 00:12:27,046 --> 00:12:29,714 and the only way to prove it's not me is to figure out who it is. 280 00:12:29,798 --> 00:12:30,840 You said there was no mole. 281 00:12:30,924 --> 00:12:33,010 You said you knew everything about these people. 282 00:12:33,094 --> 00:12:34,845 Well, it turns out I don't. 283 00:12:34,929 --> 00:12:37,098 I've learned some truly horrible things tonight. 284 00:12:37,182 --> 00:12:38,732 You were right and I was wrong. 285 00:12:38,975 --> 00:12:41,520 Goodness. Boyle is sleeping with Gina? 286 00:12:41,604 --> 00:12:43,814 What? How could you possibly know that? 287 00:12:43,898 --> 00:12:45,524 "You were right and I was wrong." 288 00:12:45,608 --> 00:12:47,819 You must have been shaken to your core to say that to me. 289 00:12:47,903 --> 00:12:50,697 Boyle is your most trusted friend, so he has to be involved. 290 00:12:50,781 --> 00:12:53,992 Your use of the word "horrible" leads me to believe that the matter was sexual 291 00:12:54,076 --> 00:12:56,245 in nature given your obvious immaturity. 292 00:12:56,329 --> 00:12:57,705 [SCOFFS] I've had sex. 293 00:12:57,789 --> 00:13:00,708 And, of course, you would be most upset if Boyle were to 294 00:13:00,792 --> 00:13:02,544 have slept with someone you knew from your childhood, 295 00:13:02,628 --> 00:13:06,131 thus the solve. Gina and Charles. 296 00:13:06,215 --> 00:13:07,632 That was amazing. 297 00:13:07,716 --> 00:13:10,804 Come into my study. Let's figure out who that mole is. 298 00:13:11,513 --> 00:13:13,180 I took all the Giggle I had, 299 00:13:13,264 --> 00:13:16,393 but there might be some left in my mouth if you want to make out. 300 00:13:16,477 --> 00:13:20,063 That sounds amazing. I'd love to make out with you once I'm super high. 301 00:13:20,147 --> 00:13:21,232 Where can I get some? 302 00:13:21,524 --> 00:13:23,943 That girl over there sold it to me. 303 00:13:24,027 --> 00:13:27,530 What happened, Ava? I thought you said you didn't drink or do drugs? 304 00:13:27,614 --> 00:13:30,534 I don't. Do you know how much math is involved in dealing drugs? 305 00:13:30,618 --> 00:13:31,660 You gotta keep a clear head. 306 00:13:31,744 --> 00:13:35,497 Look, this doesn't have to be a big deal, just give us the name of your supplier. 307 00:13:35,581 --> 00:13:36,874 How'd you get involved in dealing Giggle? 308 00:13:36,958 --> 00:13:39,878 Wait, wait, wait, wait. We gotta back this up. 309 00:13:39,962 --> 00:13:42,881 After preschool, did you go to private or public elementary? 310 00:13:42,965 --> 00:13:44,924 -Private. -JEFFORDS: When were you potty trained? 311 00:13:45,008 --> 00:13:47,720 That's so random. Sarge. The giggle pig. 312 00:13:47,846 --> 00:13:50,097 All right, let's go through the squad one by one. 313 00:13:50,181 --> 00:13:53,602 Rosa is very secretive. I don't know anything about her personal life. 314 00:13:53,686 --> 00:13:55,645 Charles has expensive tastes. 315 00:13:55,729 --> 00:13:57,064 Gina has said many times 316 00:13:57,148 --> 00:13:59,776 that she would sell us all out for five minutes with Blake Griffin. 317 00:13:59,860 --> 00:14:02,779 Let's see, Terry wants to send his twins to private school, 318 00:14:02,863 --> 00:14:04,447 but on his salary, that's difficult. 319 00:14:04,531 --> 00:14:07,952 Mmm. Plus, with twins, one of them is always evil. 320 00:14:09,203 --> 00:14:10,371 So, it's Cagney. 321 00:14:11,414 --> 00:14:14,918 Gina, is everything okay? You never text me. 322 00:14:15,043 --> 00:14:18,046 Look, last message I got from you was August 3rd, 2009. 323 00:14:18,130 --> 00:14:21,675 You wrote, "Sup, Rosa?" Followed by, "Never mind." 324 00:14:21,759 --> 00:14:25,179 It's over between me and Charles. I'm so upset. 325 00:14:25,263 --> 00:14:27,582 Amy, when will I ever find a relationship 326 00:14:27,666 --> 00:14:30,186 as perfect as the one you have with Freddy? 327 00:14:30,436 --> 00:14:33,605 It's Teddy and it's not perfect. Believe me. 328 00:14:33,689 --> 00:14:36,234 All his underwear are lined with mesh like a bathing suit. 329 00:14:36,318 --> 00:14:38,444 Is it medical? How do you even ask that? 330 00:14:38,528 --> 00:14:40,572 I don't know but keep talking. 331 00:14:41,198 --> 00:14:43,492 PERALTA: What else? What else? What else? 332 00:14:43,576 --> 00:14:45,411 [SNAPPING FINGERS] Wait a minute. 333 00:14:45,495 --> 00:14:47,830 One time, I saw Rosa eating watermelon, 334 00:14:47,914 --> 00:14:49,790 but then, when I asked her about it, 335 00:14:49,874 --> 00:14:53,002 she said she'd never eaten that or any other kind of melon. 336 00:14:53,086 --> 00:14:54,879 Now that I say it out loud, it doesn't seem like much. 337 00:14:54,963 --> 00:14:57,926 No, put it on the board. Oh! 338 00:14:58,510 --> 00:15:00,052 PERALTA: Hey, check it out. 339 00:15:00,136 --> 00:15:05,142 Dog bra. Dog bra. 340 00:15:05,434 --> 00:15:08,479 Uh, I'm so tired I can't keep my eyes open. 341 00:15:09,021 --> 00:15:10,897 Here, I need you to slap me. 342 00:15:10,981 --> 00:15:12,400 I'm not gonna do that, Peralta. 343 00:15:12,484 --> 00:15:15,153 Ow! [GROANING] 344 00:15:15,237 --> 00:15:17,989 I thought perhaps the element of surprise would help. 345 00:15:18,073 --> 00:15:19,115 It did. 346 00:15:19,199 --> 00:15:22,077 PERALTA [GROANING]: I can't believe we can't figure out who the mole is. 347 00:15:22,161 --> 00:15:25,205 Well, there is someone we haven't talked about yet. 348 00:15:25,289 --> 00:15:26,665 Detective Jake Peralta. 349 00:15:26,749 --> 00:15:30,920 What? Someone's got a case of the sleepover jokies. 350 00:15:31,004 --> 00:15:32,213 Why would I be the mole? 351 00:15:32,297 --> 00:15:35,634 You were just caught sneaking classified material into the precinct. 352 00:15:35,718 --> 00:15:40,639 You spent six months undercover in the mafia and have many criminal contacts. 353 00:15:40,723 --> 00:15:43,393 You've been known to flaunt departmental rules and regulations 354 00:15:43,477 --> 00:15:45,354 and you are deeply in debt. 355 00:15:45,646 --> 00:15:48,589 Well, if you hadn't tricked me into getting 356 00:15:48,673 --> 00:15:51,278 car insurance, I wouldn't be in debt. 357 00:15:52,028 --> 00:15:55,531 You want to do me? I'll do you right back, tit for toot. 358 00:15:55,615 --> 00:15:58,744 I've been on the force for 30 years and I've never been accused of impropriety. 359 00:15:58,828 --> 00:16:00,120 Oh, is that a fact? 360 00:16:00,204 --> 00:16:02,789 Because I heard you call Deputy Chief Wuntch by her first name, 361 00:16:02,873 --> 00:16:05,752 and after that, you told her you hoped she got carried off by crows. 362 00:16:05,836 --> 00:16:07,378 That is gross insubordination. 363 00:16:07,462 --> 00:16:09,047 Madeline is irrelevant. 364 00:16:09,131 --> 00:16:13,010 Our battles extend beyond the confines of NYPD rules. 365 00:16:13,094 --> 00:16:14,845 You're being ridiculous. Am I? 366 00:16:14,929 --> 00:16:16,106 If you're such a great cop, how come you 367 00:16:16,190 --> 00:16:17,640 didn't know there was a mole in your precinct? 368 00:16:17,724 --> 00:16:20,810 That's right, because you did! Because you are the mole, you mole! 369 00:16:20,894 --> 00:16:22,437 I've heard enough. 370 00:16:22,521 --> 00:16:25,942 Please return your guest pajamas, guest toothbrush and guest slippers, 371 00:16:26,026 --> 00:16:27,818 and get out of here. 372 00:16:27,902 --> 00:16:30,238 It's time for you to be suspended. 373 00:16:34,910 --> 00:16:36,662 Peralta, shouldn't you be suspended by now? 374 00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:38,705 Yes, and I know that you're mad that I'm here, 375 00:16:38,789 --> 00:16:42,126 but you're about to get over it because I know who the mole is. 376 00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:45,588 Lieutenant Miller. I don't think he's with IAB at all. 377 00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:47,341 I think he's spying for Wuntch. 378 00:16:47,425 --> 00:16:49,093 Wuntch? You said it yourself. 379 00:16:49,177 --> 00:16:52,012 Your battles extend beyond the confines of NYPD rules. 380 00:16:52,096 --> 00:16:55,350 She wants information about your Task Force but she can't get access, 381 00:16:55,434 --> 00:16:56,977 so she sent in a spy. 382 00:16:57,061 --> 00:16:59,521 That's why Miller was skulking around the file room 383 00:16:59,605 --> 00:17:01,231 when I was supposed to be the only skulker. 384 00:17:01,315 --> 00:17:04,569 That's interesting. I did notice something odd when he and Wuntch first met. 385 00:17:04,653 --> 00:17:07,703 She just nodded at him. She didn't even try to shake his hand. 386 00:17:10,826 --> 00:17:15,539 She already knew he was a germaphobe because they'd met before. 387 00:17:15,623 --> 00:17:17,041 Yes. Unfortunately, 388 00:17:17,125 --> 00:17:19,460 we don't have any hard proof that they're working together. 389 00:17:19,544 --> 00:17:23,131 Well, lucky for you, proof is my middle name. 390 00:17:24,425 --> 00:17:27,637 And yours is Jared. Juicebox. 391 00:17:28,096 --> 00:17:30,724 Jellyfish. [GASPING] Jamiroquai. 392 00:17:33,185 --> 00:17:34,728 Lieutenant Miller. 393 00:17:34,812 --> 00:17:36,229 What do you want, Peralta? 394 00:17:36,313 --> 00:17:37,481 I want to play ball. 395 00:17:37,606 --> 00:17:40,568 Clear my name and I'll give you information about Captain Holt. 396 00:17:40,652 --> 00:17:43,029 Well, I'm interested. What kind of information? 397 00:17:43,488 --> 00:17:45,490 It's all on this. 398 00:17:45,574 --> 00:17:48,828 Pretty dope drive, right? It's a USB shaped like a gun. 399 00:17:49,161 --> 00:17:50,204 Boink. 400 00:17:52,374 --> 00:17:55,460 All right, I'll give it to my superiors and I'll be in contact. 401 00:17:55,544 --> 00:17:58,546 Hey, I know you only wanted to hang out last night so you could 402 00:17:58,630 --> 00:17:59,673 find out dirt on me. 403 00:17:59,757 --> 00:18:01,592 What? Uh-uh. 404 00:18:01,676 --> 00:18:03,678 Look, 405 00:18:03,970 --> 00:18:05,137 you don't have to be worried. 406 00:18:05,221 --> 00:18:07,932 I will never tell anyone about you and Charles, 407 00:18:08,016 --> 00:18:10,769 but honestly, it's not as embarrassing as you think. 408 00:18:10,853 --> 00:18:14,691 It was shocking, but then I got over it and it seemed normal, 409 00:18:16,359 --> 00:18:18,778 except for seeing how hairless Charles' legs are. 410 00:18:18,862 --> 00:18:20,321 I mean, does he shave them? 411 00:18:20,405 --> 00:18:22,324 No, he wears really cheap pants 412 00:18:22,408 --> 00:18:25,118 and as far as I can tell, he's been chafed smooth. 413 00:18:25,202 --> 00:18:26,286 Yikes. 414 00:18:26,370 --> 00:18:28,497 Imagine that wrapped around you. Okay. 415 00:18:29,666 --> 00:18:32,460 Okay, I could get in a lot of trouble for this, 416 00:18:32,544 --> 00:18:35,422 but the big secret about Captain Holt is… 417 00:18:36,215 --> 00:18:39,135 That I have a flair for the dramatic. 418 00:18:39,427 --> 00:18:41,053 Look behind you, Madeline. 419 00:18:42,638 --> 00:18:43,973 [HOLT CLEARING THROAT] 420 00:18:44,057 --> 00:18:45,642 PERALTA: We're actually in front of you. 421 00:18:45,726 --> 00:18:47,852 That's my fault. I thought the layout was gonna be different. 422 00:18:47,936 --> 00:18:50,021 Didn't know how you guys were gonna be sitting. I took a chance. 423 00:18:50,105 --> 00:18:53,484 Miller may be in Internal Affairs, but he wasn't here on official business. 424 00:18:53,568 --> 00:18:54,944 You sent him to spy on us. 425 00:18:55,028 --> 00:18:59,116 That's a flagrant ethics violation, Madeline, and it could sink you. 426 00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:01,535 Fine, you're right. But you can't prove that. 427 00:19:01,619 --> 00:19:03,453 It's just your word against mine. 428 00:19:03,537 --> 00:19:06,625 Ooh, actually it's your word against you. 429 00:19:07,375 --> 00:19:08,835 Pardon me. 430 00:19:08,919 --> 00:19:13,173 I put a recording device in this dope drive so I got your whole conversation. 431 00:19:13,257 --> 00:19:16,009 You're going to leave my precinct and my Task Force alone 432 00:19:16,093 --> 00:19:20,098 or else you're… Wuntchmeat. 433 00:19:21,308 --> 00:19:22,684 You sure you want to go with that one? 434 00:19:22,768 --> 00:19:24,102 Absolutely, it's hilarious. 435 00:19:24,186 --> 00:19:25,270 Oh. All right. 436 00:19:25,354 --> 00:19:28,023 Hey, I'm sorry about last night. 437 00:19:28,107 --> 00:19:29,942 I let my personal stuff affect the job. 438 00:19:30,026 --> 00:19:32,027 It's okay. No, it's not. 439 00:19:32,111 --> 00:19:34,114 This morning, I did some real police work. 440 00:19:34,198 --> 00:19:35,741 I called The Learning Grove. 441 00:19:35,825 --> 00:19:39,202 They never had an Ava Watson so I faxed them a picture. 442 00:19:39,286 --> 00:19:41,581 They identified her as Rebecca Lubbock. 443 00:19:41,665 --> 00:19:44,096 I pulled her phone records and I think we 444 00:19:44,180 --> 00:19:46,878 have some good leads on a possible supplier. 445 00:19:46,962 --> 00:19:48,756 Wow, nice work. 446 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:51,300 And hey, you should never worry about your kids. 447 00:19:51,384 --> 00:19:53,093 You're the best dad I know. 448 00:19:53,177 --> 00:19:54,720 Cagney and Lacey are gonna grow up great. 449 00:19:54,804 --> 00:19:56,431 You think so? 100%. 450 00:19:56,515 --> 00:19:57,682 You're right. 451 00:19:57,766 --> 00:19:59,517 They're gonna be twin presidents. 452 00:19:59,601 --> 00:20:01,686 They'll either run as one person and trick everyone, 453 00:20:01,770 --> 00:20:05,024 or they'll run as two and serve for 16 consecutive years. 454 00:20:05,942 --> 00:20:07,944 It's a damn dynasty. 455 00:20:08,486 --> 00:20:10,405 Excuse me. I have an announcement to make. 456 00:20:10,489 --> 00:20:12,491 Can I have everyone's attention, please? 457 00:20:13,284 --> 00:20:14,993 Charles Boyle and I had sex. 458 00:20:15,077 --> 00:20:18,080 What the hell? Gina, what are you doing? 459 00:20:18,164 --> 00:20:20,583 Amy was right. People will be shocked and then they'll get over it 460 00:20:20,667 --> 00:20:21,834 and we can move on. 461 00:20:21,918 --> 00:20:24,420 At least this way, I get to control how it gets out. 462 00:20:24,504 --> 00:20:26,381 I'm about to Olivia Pope this sitch. 463 00:20:26,465 --> 00:20:30,844 First off, I would like to remind you all about several notable men from my past. 464 00:20:30,928 --> 00:20:33,765 The rock climbing backpacker, the underwear model, 465 00:20:33,849 --> 00:20:35,767 the guy who looked like Tywin Lannister. 466 00:20:35,851 --> 00:20:39,980 I bring these men to mind so you can appreciate this dalliance for what it was, 467 00:20:40,064 --> 00:20:41,190 an outlier. 468 00:20:41,274 --> 00:20:42,775 I will now take questions. 469 00:20:42,859 --> 00:20:44,777 How was the sex? Gross. 470 00:20:44,861 --> 00:20:46,237 The sex was gross or I'm gross? 471 00:20:46,321 --> 00:20:48,281 You're gross. The sex was adequate. 472 00:20:48,365 --> 00:20:49,699 How many times did you do it? 473 00:20:49,783 --> 00:20:52,369 Sixteen and a third. Don't ask. Can't explain. 474 00:20:52,453 --> 00:20:55,373 I have a question. Do you have any regrets? 475 00:20:56,583 --> 00:20:58,752 No, it was pretty fun. 476 00:21:00,754 --> 00:21:01,839 [MOUTHING] 477 00:21:02,298 --> 00:21:04,466 Thank you so much for coming out today. 478 00:21:04,550 --> 00:21:07,094 Hey, I should have said this last night but, 479 00:21:07,178 --> 00:21:09,722 your first casual relationship! Nice work. 480 00:21:09,806 --> 00:21:11,856 I know. I didn't even propose to her once. 481 00:21:12,643 --> 00:21:14,602 Jake, I'm so sorry I lied to you. 482 00:21:14,686 --> 00:21:16,397 I mean, I wanted to tell you so badly, 483 00:21:16,481 --> 00:21:17,815 but I promised Gina I wouldn't tell anyone. 484 00:21:17,899 --> 00:21:19,233 You kept a promise to a friend. 485 00:21:19,317 --> 00:21:21,318 That sounds like the Charles I know. 486 00:21:21,402 --> 00:21:23,989 Just like I know everyone here. 487 00:21:24,073 --> 00:21:25,115 Yes, you do. 488 00:21:25,199 --> 00:21:27,799 Although there is something you didn't know about me. 489 00:21:28,661 --> 00:21:32,707 My middle name is Jacob. 490 00:21:32,874 --> 00:21:34,542 Wha… 39519

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