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1
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www.tvsubtitles.net
2
00:00:02,237 --> 00:00:03,637
I should be the boss
when I get married
3
00:00:03,704 --> 00:00:06,904
because my mom is the boss
and it works out really well.
4
00:00:06,971 --> 00:00:08,637
I like this one boy, Kevin.
5
00:00:08,704 --> 00:00:11,403
He likes me back.
I don't know why.
6
00:00:11,470 --> 00:00:12,704
* All right!
7
00:00:12,770 --> 00:00:15,403
* Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
8
00:00:18,437 --> 00:00:20,737
Okay, remember
that the garbage
goes out on Tuesday
9
00:00:20,804 --> 00:00:21,937
and if you see a man
in the bushes,
10
00:00:22,003 --> 00:00:23,103
it's probably
just the gardener,
11
00:00:23,170 --> 00:00:25,904
so please don't
call 911 again.
12
00:00:25,971 --> 00:00:28,270
Oh, and I put backup
toilet paper in all
the bathrooms
13
00:00:28,337 --> 00:00:30,370
because I won't be here
to rescue you
when you start yelling,
14
00:00:30,437 --> 00:00:32,804
"Joy! TP, now!"
15
00:00:35,036 --> 00:00:36,837
I'm just trying to save us
all the embarrassment
16
00:00:36,904 --> 00:00:41,971
of me shuffling
across the hall
to the linen closet.
17
00:00:42,036 --> 00:00:44,303
I'm so excited that Allison
agreed to spend spring break
with me
18
00:00:44,370 --> 00:00:45,837
instead of moping
in her dorm
19
00:00:45,904 --> 00:00:48,036
over that loser pottery guy
dumping her.
20
00:00:48,103 --> 00:00:49,570
Yeah, I didn't want to
say anything at the time,
21
00:00:49,637 --> 00:00:52,036
but his fingernails
were filthy.
22
00:00:52,103 --> 00:00:53,770
Good riddance.
23
00:00:53,837 --> 00:00:55,437
All right.
I think I can
handle it from here.
24
00:00:55,504 --> 00:00:56,971
I'll call you when I land.
Love you.
25
00:00:57,036 --> 00:00:58,704
I love you, too.
26
00:00:58,770 --> 00:01:00,036
I'll miss you.
27
00:01:00,103 --> 00:01:01,770
That's ridiculous.
28
00:01:04,203 --> 00:01:06,070
Ridiculous?
29
00:01:06,136 --> 00:01:09,170
Look, Joy. I love you
and you love me.
30
00:01:09,237 --> 00:01:11,704
But let's not go overboard.
We've been married
for 20 years.
31
00:01:11,770 --> 00:01:13,937
I can go six days
without seeing you.
32
00:01:14,003 --> 00:01:15,203
I mean,
in colonial times,
33
00:01:15,270 --> 00:01:17,737
it would take you that long
just to get bacon.
34
00:01:19,937 --> 00:01:21,837
Go ahead.
Have fun, you kook.
35
00:01:23,303 --> 00:01:25,370
Okay. Let me just
get this straight.
36
00:01:25,437 --> 00:01:27,203
I'm gonna go away
for a week.
37
00:01:27,270 --> 00:01:29,570
And you're not gonna
miss me at all?
38
00:01:29,637 --> 00:01:32,170
Will I think of you
fondly? Yes.
39
00:01:32,237 --> 00:01:35,437
Will a small grin dance
across my face as I look
in the tub
40
00:01:35,504 --> 00:01:37,637
and see some of your
hairs in the drain?
41
00:01:38,370 --> 00:01:40,237
Perhaps.
42
00:01:40,303 --> 00:01:43,537
But am I gonna painfully
long for you during your
absence?
43
00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:45,370
(CHUCKLES)
It's a big, fat no.
44
00:01:46,804 --> 00:01:49,070
You know what?
You are unbelievable.
45
00:01:49,136 --> 00:01:50,971
How hard is it
to tell your wife,
46
00:01:51,036 --> 00:01:52,770
the person with whom
you've spent your life,
47
00:01:52,837 --> 00:01:54,070
that you are going
to miss her?
48
00:01:54,136 --> 00:01:56,537
Might it even occur
to you to lie?
49
00:01:56,604 --> 00:01:59,303
I have a commitment
to the truth.
50
00:01:59,370 --> 00:02:01,470
Okay, Eddie. You know what?
I'm gonna go.
51
00:02:02,937 --> 00:02:05,670
But know this.
You are going to miss me.
52
00:02:05,737 --> 00:02:09,036
It may not be today,
it may not be tomorrow,
53
00:02:09,103 --> 00:02:11,871
it'll probably be today.
54
00:02:11,937 --> 00:02:15,136
You're gonna miss me bad!
Goodbye!
55
00:02:15,203 --> 00:02:18,670
Goodbye, my sweet.
Goodbye, my pants!
56
00:02:19,904 --> 00:02:21,871
Hello, Judge Hatchett.
57
00:02:28,504 --> 00:02:31,203
Ah! This is so great.
58
00:02:31,270 --> 00:02:33,637
So much better than
my spring break.
59
00:02:33,704 --> 00:02:36,637
All I remember was
there was tequila,
60
00:02:36,704 --> 00:02:39,303
a volleyball
and a donkey.
61
00:02:40,570 --> 00:02:42,937
(GIGGLES) Were you in Mexico?
62
00:02:43,003 --> 00:02:44,637
I don't think so.
63
00:02:46,470 --> 00:02:50,837
Listen,
I know that you're
still hurting about Doug.
64
00:02:50,904 --> 00:02:52,837
But I want you
to forget about men.
65
00:02:52,904 --> 00:02:55,770
This is a "girls only"
bonding trip.
66
00:02:55,837 --> 00:02:56,971
Look out, South Beach.
67
00:02:57,036 --> 00:02:59,403
The Stark ladies
are off the hizzy.
68
00:03:01,670 --> 00:03:04,237
Yeah. That felt wrong.
69
00:03:04,303 --> 00:03:06,570
Well, you know
what would feel right.
70
00:03:06,637 --> 00:03:07,637
And what's that?
71
00:03:07,704 --> 00:03:09,136
A margarita.
72
00:03:09,203 --> 00:03:11,537
Give me your ID
and I'll go get us four.
73
00:03:12,737 --> 00:03:14,537
Nice try, junior.
74
00:03:14,604 --> 00:03:18,470
Go get yourself a soda
and go get Mommy a Mojito.
75
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:26,136
Let me guess,
University of Virginia?
76
00:03:27,070 --> 00:03:28,704
Excuse me?
77
00:03:28,770 --> 00:03:31,237
I'm sorry. It's just
a little spring break
game I play.
78
00:03:31,303 --> 00:03:34,737
I try to guess where
all the pretty girls
go to school.
79
00:03:35,370 --> 00:03:36,737
I'm Joy.
80
00:03:36,804 --> 00:03:38,036
Jack.
Hi, Jack.
81
00:03:38,103 --> 00:03:39,971
And I'm guessing
poli sci major.
82
00:03:40,036 --> 00:03:42,003
No, no. Wait.
83
00:03:43,437 --> 00:03:45,337
That body says dance.
84
00:03:46,604 --> 00:03:48,837
Double major.
85
00:03:48,904 --> 00:03:51,670
Well, Joy, how would you
like to protect our shores
by joining the beach brigade
86
00:03:51,737 --> 00:03:54,303
and helping me
pick up trash?
87
00:03:54,370 --> 00:03:57,670
We're starting
tomorrow morning when
the sun's three fingers
88
00:03:57,737 --> 00:03:59,036
above the horizon.
89
00:03:59,103 --> 00:04:01,337
(GIGGLES)
90
00:04:01,403 --> 00:04:02,871
See you at three fingers.
91
00:04:02,937 --> 00:04:03,971
All right!
92
00:04:04,036 --> 00:04:06,070
(LAUGHS)
93
00:04:06,136 --> 00:04:09,370
Okay, so that's a seven meat,
three cheese. Right, gorgeous?
94
00:04:09,437 --> 00:04:11,871
All right. Keep the change.
Get yourself some hair gel.
95
00:04:11,937 --> 00:04:13,370
Chinese food.
96
00:04:13,437 --> 00:04:15,470
Oh! This is awkward.
97
00:04:16,704 --> 00:04:17,837
Um...
98
00:04:17,904 --> 00:04:21,470
Mario, Feng-Bai.
Feng-Bai, Mario.
99
00:04:21,537 --> 00:04:24,904
There you go. Okay.
No fighting, you two.
Okay?
100
00:04:24,971 --> 00:04:26,937
(CHUCKLING)
101
00:04:27,003 --> 00:04:28,837
* Kung Pao Chicken
all night long
102
00:04:28,904 --> 00:04:30,504
* Doo-dah, doo-dah
103
00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:33,136
* I say, Kung Pao Chicken
all night long
104
00:04:33,203 --> 00:04:34,270
* Oh, the doo-dah day
Hey, neighbor.
105
00:04:34,337 --> 00:04:36,971
Wow, you're not wearing
any pants.
106
00:04:37,036 --> 00:04:38,270
Of course
I'm not wearing pants.
107
00:04:38,337 --> 00:04:39,837
In fact,
the only reason
I'm wearing boxers
108
00:04:39,904 --> 00:04:42,704
is 'cause I can't
find a napkin.
109
00:04:42,770 --> 00:04:44,770
Wow, you've got
a lot of food here.
110
00:04:44,837 --> 00:04:47,770
Looks like
you're not gonna need
this lasagna I made you.
111
00:04:47,837 --> 00:04:50,670
Need? No. Want? Yes.
Thank you.
112
00:04:50,737 --> 00:04:52,637
Put that right over here.
113
00:04:52,704 --> 00:04:54,437
Well, with Joy gone,
we thought you might
need some company.
114
00:04:54,504 --> 00:04:56,937
Need? No. Want? No.
115
00:04:57,003 --> 00:04:59,670
Come on, Eddie.
You must miss Joy
a little bit.
116
00:04:59,737 --> 00:05:01,003
Sometimes, I miss Steph
117
00:05:01,070 --> 00:05:02,704
when her back's
turned to me in bed.
118
00:05:02,770 --> 00:05:05,937
It's true. I can only
sleep on my left side.
119
00:05:06,003 --> 00:05:07,937
My spine's pretty
messed up.
120
00:05:09,337 --> 00:05:12,437
All right, listen.
I appreciate you guys
looking out for me,
121
00:05:12,504 --> 00:05:14,504
but the truth is
I'm managing just fine
122
00:05:14,570 --> 00:05:16,570
and I'm looking forward
to having this week alone.
123
00:05:16,637 --> 00:05:19,237
I'm eating what I want,
I'm sleeping when I want
124
00:05:19,303 --> 00:05:20,537
and I've watched so much TV
125
00:05:20,604 --> 00:05:23,036
I can't even see
the color blue.
126
00:05:23,103 --> 00:05:25,403
(CHUCKLES) It's fantastic.
127
00:05:25,470 --> 00:05:27,504
Well, just so you know
we're here for you.
128
00:05:27,570 --> 00:05:29,737
In fact, if the weather
gets better,
129
00:05:29,804 --> 00:05:32,337
Jeff and I are thinking
about breaking in our new
picnic basket tomorrow.
130
00:05:32,403 --> 00:05:33,704
Yeah. We have
a secret spot,
131
00:05:33,770 --> 00:05:35,737
so if you come with us,
we're gonna have to
blindfold you.
132
00:05:35,804 --> 00:05:39,637
Yeah, well, unless that's
followed by a gunshot,
I wouldn't count on it.
133
00:05:39,704 --> 00:05:40,770
Okay.
Just think about it.
134
00:05:40,837 --> 00:05:43,070
Okay, will do.
Bye-bye.
135
00:05:45,370 --> 00:05:47,270
All right, Nanny 911.
136
00:05:47,337 --> 00:05:50,403
It's time to
put little Jeremy
in the naughty chair.
137
00:05:50,470 --> 00:05:52,504
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
138
00:05:52,570 --> 00:05:54,237
(STATIC ON TV)
139
00:05:58,904 --> 00:06:00,070
Uh-oh.
140
00:06:02,537 --> 00:06:04,370
How am I gonna eat
without TV?
141
00:06:06,136 --> 00:06:09,170
MALE VOICE: Due to interrupted
cable television service
in the tri-state area,
142
00:06:09,237 --> 00:06:12,003
we are experiencing
an abnormally high
call volume.
143
00:06:12,070 --> 00:06:14,637
Please stay on the line
and a customer service
representative
144
00:06:14,704 --> 00:06:16,837
will be with you in one
145
00:06:17,537 --> 00:06:18,904
hundred
146
00:06:18,971 --> 00:06:20,504
twelve hours.
147
00:06:20,971 --> 00:06:22,070
What?
148
00:06:22,136 --> 00:06:24,036
(RAIN PATTERING)
149
00:06:34,270 --> 00:06:36,003
Hey, Stan, my man.
150
00:06:36,070 --> 00:06:37,670
Yeah, look.
I don't care
what you're doing.
151
00:06:37,737 --> 00:06:39,170
I got the whole house
to myself,
152
00:06:39,237 --> 00:06:41,937
so drop everything
and get on over here.
153
00:06:44,170 --> 00:06:45,937
Oh, that's terrible.
154
00:06:46,737 --> 00:06:48,770
I'm sorry for your loss.
155
00:06:49,937 --> 00:06:51,770
You're a pallbearer?
156
00:06:53,737 --> 00:06:56,203
You're pallbearing right now.
157
00:06:56,270 --> 00:06:58,403
Well, I'm surprised
you picked up.
158
00:06:58,470 --> 00:07:02,670
(STAMMERING)
Look, it sounds
like an all-day thing,
159
00:07:02,737 --> 00:07:04,904
so why don't I just
call you tomorrow?
160
00:07:04,971 --> 00:07:06,971
Yeah, have a... Have a...
161
00:07:07,604 --> 00:07:08,704
Okay.
162
00:07:14,337 --> 00:07:17,437
Lot of doctors,
not a lot of friends.
163
00:07:19,770 --> 00:07:21,136
Here we go.
164
00:07:25,470 --> 00:07:27,504
Cofeld.
165
00:07:27,570 --> 00:07:30,370
Yeah, yeah.
The wife's away.
Come on over.
166
00:07:30,871 --> 00:07:32,070
Great.
167
00:07:32,937 --> 00:07:34,470
Not until 3:00?
168
00:07:35,904 --> 00:07:37,937
Oh, yeah. Well...
169
00:07:38,003 --> 00:07:39,670
Well, good. Good.
170
00:07:39,737 --> 00:07:42,303
That'll give me some time
to get some things done.
171
00:07:42,370 --> 00:07:43,704
All right.
172
00:07:54,637 --> 00:07:56,604
Do I know
how to play baccarat?
173
00:07:59,670 --> 00:08:01,136
No, I do not.
174
00:08:05,403 --> 00:08:08,070
(IMITATING ELECTRIC GUITAR
PLAYING)
175
00:08:09,937 --> 00:08:12,570
Good night, Trenton!
I love you!
176
00:08:16,036 --> 00:08:19,337
Not in my house!
Not in my house!
177
00:08:22,804 --> 00:08:24,403
(DOORBELL RINGS)
178
00:08:27,971 --> 00:08:29,470
Just a minute!
179
00:08:30,637 --> 00:08:32,403
(RAIN PATTERING)
180
00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:33,971
So no TV, huh?
181
00:08:35,871 --> 00:08:37,370
This is weird.
182
00:08:38,270 --> 00:08:39,904
Yeah, kinda, huh?
183
00:08:45,770 --> 00:08:48,937
You know,
I've never really
looked at you before.
184
00:08:50,971 --> 00:08:53,237
Your head would be
great on a coin.
185
00:08:56,871 --> 00:08:58,337
Thank you.
186
00:08:59,871 --> 00:09:01,370
I never heard that before.
187
00:09:04,170 --> 00:09:06,604
So, you wanna watch some...
Oh, right. I can't.
188
00:09:06,670 --> 00:09:07,904
(LAUGHS)
189
00:09:08,604 --> 00:09:09,670
Hey, I got an idea.
190
00:09:09,737 --> 00:09:10,904
Hmm?
191
00:09:10,971 --> 00:09:12,136
Want to see what
I confiscated
192
00:09:12,203 --> 00:09:13,504
from a couple of kids
at school?
193
00:09:13,570 --> 00:09:15,470
Oh, great.
I'll grab my lighter.
194
00:09:15,537 --> 00:09:17,270
No, no, no!
195
00:09:19,470 --> 00:09:21,804
Not that.
196
00:09:21,871 --> 00:09:26,136
Say hello to my little
friends, huh?
197
00:09:26,203 --> 00:09:29,103
Come on, man.
We're grown men.
198
00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:33,136
Does that bitch
have pump action?
199
00:09:36,003 --> 00:09:37,470
Cofeld.
200
00:09:38,971 --> 00:09:41,370
Come out, come out,
wherever you are.
201
00:09:42,570 --> 00:09:43,971
Cofeld.
202
00:09:47,403 --> 00:09:48,604
Cofeld?
203
00:09:51,437 --> 00:09:53,403
You're still here, right?
204
00:09:53,470 --> 00:09:54,770
Sayonara, sucker!
205
00:09:54,837 --> 00:09:56,704
(CHUCKLING)
206
00:09:56,770 --> 00:09:59,604
All right. Well played.
207
00:09:59,670 --> 00:10:01,871
Ah, well, thank you.
208
00:10:01,937 --> 00:10:03,604
And...
209
00:10:03,670 --> 00:10:06,670
I wouldn't use that
upstairs bathroom
for quite a while.
210
00:10:06,737 --> 00:10:08,070
Thank you.
211
00:10:10,070 --> 00:10:11,337
You know,
these really don't sting
212
00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:13,070
as bad as you think
they would.
213
00:10:17,103 --> 00:10:18,837
Yeah, see?
214
00:10:19,737 --> 00:10:20,904
Nothing.
No?
215
00:10:20,971 --> 00:10:22,670
No. Come closer.
Okay.
216
00:10:22,737 --> 00:10:23,804
Yeah, don't worry
about it.
217
00:10:23,871 --> 00:10:24,971
All right, all right.
You ready?
218
00:10:25,036 --> 00:10:26,070
Okay.
219
00:10:28,704 --> 00:10:30,537
Okay, all right.
220
00:10:30,604 --> 00:10:32,470
Had a little bite to it.
Little bite.
221
00:10:32,537 --> 00:10:34,337
But, just... You know.
222
00:10:34,403 --> 00:10:35,504
Come on. Move it up.
223
00:10:35,570 --> 00:10:36,904
All right.
224
00:10:42,470 --> 00:10:46,370
Okay. All right, okay.
All right.
225
00:10:46,437 --> 00:10:48,070
Okay, good. Good.
226
00:10:52,303 --> 00:10:54,303
Oh, okay. That...
227
00:10:55,904 --> 00:10:57,904
That was good. Yeah.
228
00:10:57,971 --> 00:11:00,303
That stung.
229
00:11:03,837 --> 00:11:06,737
Great view. But don't
look down at the pool.
230
00:11:06,804 --> 00:11:10,904
That geezer is
packing a little bit more
than those Speedos can handle.
231
00:11:13,704 --> 00:11:16,103
Are you ready to go?
JOY: Yeah.
232
00:11:16,170 --> 00:11:18,170
And I got a surprise
for you.
233
00:11:18,237 --> 00:11:20,036
We're not just
gonna lie out,
234
00:11:20,103 --> 00:11:23,103
I signed us up to clean
the beach this morning.
235
00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:24,971
What?
236
00:11:28,637 --> 00:11:29,871
(JOY SIGHS)
237
00:11:29,937 --> 00:11:32,370
Yeah, I thought
it would be nice
to make a difference.
238
00:11:32,437 --> 00:11:35,270
You know, stop taking.
Start giving back.
239
00:11:36,270 --> 00:11:37,971
Again, what?
240
00:11:39,303 --> 00:11:41,704
And why are you dressed
like J.Lo?
241
00:11:43,003 --> 00:11:44,504
This?
242
00:11:44,570 --> 00:11:47,470
I just wanted to look nice
for my baby girl.
243
00:11:48,103 --> 00:11:49,570
How's the caboose?
244
00:11:49,637 --> 00:11:51,537
Under control?
245
00:11:51,604 --> 00:11:54,437
Yeah, mom. You have
a really great ass.
246
00:11:54,504 --> 00:11:56,904
All right, let's
do this thing, huh?
247
00:11:56,971 --> 00:12:01,170
Two girls on spring break,
picking up other people's
crap.
248
00:12:01,237 --> 00:12:04,103
Yeah, Mom, when did you
become so environmental?
249
00:12:04,170 --> 00:12:07,270
I once saw you dump
an old car battery
in a lake.
250
00:12:07,337 --> 00:12:10,504
Honey, that's what
this week is about,
trying new things,
251
00:12:10,570 --> 00:12:12,871
getting to know each other
on another level.
252
00:12:12,937 --> 00:12:14,437
In fact, for the rest
of the trip,
253
00:12:14,504 --> 00:12:16,036
don't think of me as Mom.
254
00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:18,136
I'm your friend, Joy.
255
00:12:18,203 --> 00:12:20,303
A dancer from the
University of Virginia.
256
00:12:25,070 --> 00:12:26,670
(HUMMING)
257
00:12:26,737 --> 00:12:27,937
(BEEPS)
258
00:12:30,871 --> 00:12:32,003
Oh...
259
00:12:39,537 --> 00:12:42,136
Experiment 39.
260
00:12:42,203 --> 00:12:45,971
Cheesy choco-nachos.
261
00:13:01,203 --> 00:13:04,136
Subject starting
to not feel too good.
262
00:13:16,237 --> 00:13:17,270
Oh!
263
00:13:22,303 --> 00:13:23,904
I miss you, Joy.
264
00:13:31,370 --> 00:13:33,637
There's my tiny dancer.
265
00:13:33,704 --> 00:13:35,303
Oh, you.
266
00:13:35,370 --> 00:13:37,270
Who is this lovely lady
you've brought with you?
267
00:13:37,337 --> 00:13:40,670
Well, Jack.
This is Allison.
Allison, this is Jack.
268
00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:42,570
Jack organized
this whole thing.
269
00:13:42,637 --> 00:13:43,837
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
Nice to meet you.
270
00:13:43,904 --> 00:13:46,570
Oh, that's me.
271
00:13:46,637 --> 00:13:49,170
Excuse me. Could you
hold that for me?
272
00:13:49,237 --> 00:13:50,570
Excuse me.
273
00:13:56,670 --> 00:13:58,704
Hello?
274
00:13:58,770 --> 00:14:01,770
Yes, I was wondering
if you can help me find
a dentist in my area.
275
00:14:03,403 --> 00:14:04,437
Eddie.
276
00:14:04,504 --> 00:14:07,036
Joy? Oh, I...
277
00:14:07,103 --> 00:14:08,804
Must have misdialed.
278
00:14:08,871 --> 00:14:10,971
Oh, now that I got you,
how are you?
279
00:14:11,070 --> 00:14:13,437
Fine, how's your week
alone going?
280
00:14:13,504 --> 00:14:14,837
Fantastic.
281
00:14:16,036 --> 00:14:17,971
Every moment is
282
00:14:18,036 --> 00:14:20,170
filled with a new discovery.
283
00:14:22,871 --> 00:14:25,136
Did you know
there's a drawer
under the oven?
284
00:14:27,570 --> 00:14:29,370
Boy.
If I didn't know better,
285
00:14:29,437 --> 00:14:30,804
I'd think
you were calling me
because you missed me.
286
00:14:30,871 --> 00:14:33,303
(GUFFAWING)
287
00:14:33,370 --> 00:14:37,303
Thank you for bringing
laughter back into my life.
288
00:14:37,370 --> 00:14:41,937
Actually, I was calling to see
if you could extend your trip
for a few days,
289
00:14:42,003 --> 00:14:45,370
because it is off the hook
over here.
290
00:14:45,437 --> 00:14:48,237
I thought you were calling
'cause you were trying
to find a dentist.
291
00:14:48,303 --> 00:14:50,937
Shut up. I don't miss you.
Gotta go.
292
00:14:53,136 --> 00:14:54,470
(RAIN PATTERING)
293
00:14:56,470 --> 00:14:58,604
You know,
I'm kind of glad
it's still raining out.
294
00:14:58,670 --> 00:15:00,070
Indoor picnics
are way more romantic.
295
00:15:00,136 --> 00:15:01,303
Mmm.
296
00:15:01,370 --> 00:15:03,670
Plus, no awkward interruptions
like last time.
297
00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:05,003
Yeah, baby.
298
00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:06,837
You know, we really should
find a secret picnic spot
299
00:15:06,904 --> 00:15:09,837
that's not so close to
an assisted living facility.
300
00:15:09,904 --> 00:15:11,237
Though,
I would like to think
301
00:15:11,303 --> 00:15:13,003
we gave that old bastard
one last thrill.
302
00:15:20,504 --> 00:15:23,070
Okay, I just spilled hummus
on the floor there.
303
00:15:23,136 --> 00:15:24,537
It's okay, sweetie.
304
00:15:24,604 --> 00:15:26,270
You were going
for something.
305
00:15:34,971 --> 00:15:36,303
(SCREAMS)
I know, baby,
306
00:15:36,370 --> 00:15:38,437
it's a whole lot of
man coming at you...
307
00:15:38,504 --> 00:15:40,604
There's a whole lot
of man at our door!
308
00:15:43,770 --> 00:15:46,170
I'm here for the picnic!
309
00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:48,303
Hey, hi!
310
00:15:48,370 --> 00:15:51,670
Eddie, hey, look, I know
I technically invited you
to the picnic,
311
00:15:51,737 --> 00:15:54,036
but it's kinda become
more of an intimate affair,
so you can just...
312
00:15:54,103 --> 00:15:56,770
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it.
It's a fake picnic on the rug.
313
00:15:56,837 --> 00:15:59,470
How whimsical. Scooch.
314
00:15:59,537 --> 00:16:00,937
Hey, honey.
315
00:16:02,270 --> 00:16:03,537
Help yourself.
316
00:16:03,604 --> 00:16:05,504
Well, this is nice, huh?
317
00:16:06,971 --> 00:16:09,504
Did I track the hummus
from outside?
318
00:16:11,070 --> 00:16:12,871
(STAMMERING)
No, I spilled it myself.
319
00:16:12,937 --> 00:16:17,437
But thanks for really
rubbing it in there.
That's good.
320
00:16:17,504 --> 00:16:21,103
Look at you kids.
Young, in love,
321
00:16:21,170 --> 00:16:24,203
going down the road
of life together.
322
00:16:24,270 --> 00:16:26,804
You're lucky
you're not alone.
323
00:16:26,871 --> 00:16:28,971
No one to talk to.
324
00:16:29,036 --> 00:16:31,470
No one to share
your thoughts with.
325
00:16:33,203 --> 00:16:34,303
Hey, Jeffy.
Yeah?
326
00:16:34,370 --> 00:16:35,837
Your barn door's open.
327
00:16:37,370 --> 00:16:38,770
I know it, Eddie.
328
00:16:38,837 --> 00:16:40,270
I opened it.
329
00:16:42,837 --> 00:16:44,470
Am I interrupting
something?
330
00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:46,570
Because I could just
go back to my house.
331
00:16:46,637 --> 00:16:48,103
Okay.
Alone.
332
00:16:50,837 --> 00:16:53,937
Get a glimpse of the life
that awaits me as a widower.
333
00:16:57,437 --> 00:17:00,370
Stephie, I want you
to promise me something.
334
00:17:01,570 --> 00:17:03,904
That you're gonna
take these moments
335
00:17:03,971 --> 00:17:07,103
to always reassure him
how much he means to you.
336
00:17:07,170 --> 00:17:10,170
And you, Mr. Jeffy?
I want you to tell her
337
00:17:10,237 --> 00:17:12,971
how much you miss her
every time she walks
out that door.
338
00:17:14,003 --> 00:17:15,737
Because one day,
339
00:17:15,804 --> 00:17:18,003
she will not be around
anymore.
340
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:19,937
You hear me?
341
00:17:21,403 --> 00:17:22,704
Go ahead.
342
00:17:23,337 --> 00:17:25,804
Make love.
343
00:17:25,871 --> 00:17:28,270
While you still
have each other
to make love to.
344
00:17:54,770 --> 00:17:56,837
Okay, I'm gonna skedaddle.
345
00:18:05,637 --> 00:18:07,103
Make love.
346
00:18:10,770 --> 00:18:12,337
Looks like you got
quite a haul there,
Joy.
347
00:18:12,403 --> 00:18:13,770
Well, yes, I did.
348
00:18:13,837 --> 00:18:15,170
I got a lot, too,
Jack.
349
00:18:15,237 --> 00:18:16,770
I think I cleaned up
an old crime scene.
350
00:18:16,837 --> 00:18:19,437
Look at all this
police tape.
351
00:18:19,504 --> 00:18:22,237
I got an old bloody
sock, Jack.
352
00:18:23,437 --> 00:18:25,470
Hey! That was from
my crime scene.
353
00:18:25,537 --> 00:18:29,403
Well, it appears someone
wasn't as thorough as
they should've been.
354
00:18:29,470 --> 00:18:32,203
Maybe you ladies should
just work this out on
your own.
355
00:18:32,270 --> 00:18:35,770
Well... Okay,
bye-bye, Jack.
356
00:18:35,837 --> 00:18:38,570
Oh, my God, Mom.
Are you flirting with him?
357
00:18:38,637 --> 00:18:39,770
(LAUGHING) What?
358
00:18:39,837 --> 00:18:41,804
That's crazy.
359
00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:43,470
You think he likes you.
360
00:18:43,537 --> 00:18:45,170
That's why we're here
and that's why you're
dressed
361
00:18:45,237 --> 00:18:47,070
like you're in
a Bollywood movie.
362
00:18:48,170 --> 00:18:49,837
Uh...
363
00:18:49,904 --> 00:18:53,437
Okay, maybe I was
flirting a little bit.
364
00:18:53,504 --> 00:18:54,604
What's wrong with that?
365
00:18:54,670 --> 00:18:57,337
What's wrong is
that he likes me.
366
00:18:57,403 --> 00:18:59,904
And you're married.
To Dad!
367
00:19:02,403 --> 00:19:05,070
Oh, God. You're right.
368
00:19:05,136 --> 00:19:07,437
(CHUCKLING)
I'm sorry, sweetie.
369
00:19:08,637 --> 00:19:10,670
I guess I just went
a little bit crazy.
370
00:19:10,737 --> 00:19:12,036
(LAUGHS)
371
00:19:12,103 --> 00:19:13,403
Look at me.
372
00:19:15,136 --> 00:19:19,237
I love Daddy. Of course
I wasn't gonna do anything.
373
00:19:19,303 --> 00:19:24,437
Honestly,
it just felt good to
have a little attention
374
00:19:24,504 --> 00:19:27,670
from a guy with a muscle
in his body.
375
00:19:29,737 --> 00:19:32,070
Ah, go for it.
He's all yours.
376
00:19:32,136 --> 00:19:33,470
Hey there, girls.
377
00:19:33,537 --> 00:19:35,837
Let me guess,
University of Miami.
378
00:19:38,103 --> 00:19:39,637
GIRLS: Hi, Jack.
379
00:19:42,770 --> 00:19:45,704
Oh, my God.
He flirts with everyone.
380
00:19:45,770 --> 00:19:49,370
All he cares about
is cleaning up the
environment.
381
00:19:49,437 --> 00:19:51,237
That son of a bitch.
382
00:19:55,237 --> 00:19:56,737
(STATIC ON TV)
383
00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:04,303
Dear God,
384
00:20:05,303 --> 00:20:06,971
it's me,
385
00:20:07,036 --> 00:20:09,070
Edward.
386
00:20:09,136 --> 00:20:12,103
I know we haven't
spoken in a while
and...
387
00:20:12,170 --> 00:20:14,904
I just want to say
that I'm sorry
388
00:20:14,971 --> 00:20:16,270
for those terrible
names I called you
389
00:20:16,337 --> 00:20:18,804
when I was passing
my kidney stone.
390
00:20:20,403 --> 00:20:24,237
In retrospect,
that must have
been very hurtful.
391
00:20:24,303 --> 00:20:28,704
And I'm also sorry
for the bad things
I said to my wife,
392
00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:32,303
but you didn't have to take
both her and TV from me.
393
00:20:34,303 --> 00:20:37,437
To take one or the other
would've been fair.
394
00:20:37,504 --> 00:20:39,770
But both, quite frankly, is
395
00:20:40,470 --> 00:20:41,904
showboating.
396
00:20:43,670 --> 00:20:44,670
Eddie, I'm home!
397
00:20:44,737 --> 00:20:47,337
Oh! Oh, did I miss you!
398
00:20:47,403 --> 00:20:48,437
Look at... Come here.
399
00:20:48,504 --> 00:20:49,670
(EXCLAIMS)
400
00:20:52,504 --> 00:20:54,136
Did you miss me?
401
00:20:54,203 --> 00:20:55,403
Yeah.
402
00:20:57,871 --> 00:21:00,370
(MAN SPEAKING SPANISH ON TV)
403
00:21:00,437 --> 00:21:01,871
(MUSIC ON TV)
404
00:21:01,937 --> 00:21:03,504
Gracias, mi dios.
28653
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