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1
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Honey, did I ever tell you about
My uncle milton the medium?
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00:00:04,870 --> 00:00:06,503
Medium rare?
3
00:00:10,110 --> 00:00:12,243
No, he was a
Famous spiritualist.
4
00:00:12,311 --> 00:00:13,755
Every friday night he
Would have a seance.
5
00:00:13,779 --> 00:00:17,114
They would join hands and
Try to contact the spirit world.
6
00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:18,649
Did he have any luck?
7
00:00:18,718 --> 00:00:20,196
Well, one night,
They're all joining hands,
8
00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:22,319
And they were trying to
Contact the spirit world.
9
00:00:22,388 --> 00:00:25,322
And milton said, I feel
A spirit in the room.
10
00:00:25,391 --> 00:00:27,358
Come forth, spirit.
11
00:00:27,426 --> 00:00:31,963
The spirit says, okay, I'm here.
12
00:00:32,031 --> 00:00:34,531
My name is max.
13
00:00:34,601 --> 00:00:38,002
And milton said, in life,
Max, what did you do?
14
00:00:38,071 --> 00:00:40,738
And the spirit
Said, I was a waiter.
15
00:00:40,807 --> 00:00:43,574
And milton said,
Come closer, max.
16
00:00:43,643 --> 00:00:46,978
And max said, I can't,
It's not my table.
17
00:00:52,251 --> 00:00:55,119
♪
18
00:01:00,193 --> 00:01:02,893
♪ welcome back ♪
19
00:01:02,962 --> 00:01:06,763
♪ your dreams were
Your ticket out ♪
20
00:01:06,833 --> 00:01:08,999
♪ welcome back ♪
21
00:01:09,068 --> 00:01:13,670
♪ to that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
22
00:01:13,739 --> 00:01:15,840
♪ well the names
Have all changed
23
00:01:15,908 --> 00:01:18,009
Since you hung around ♪
24
00:01:18,077 --> 00:01:20,077
♪ but those dreams have remained
25
00:01:20,146 --> 00:01:22,313
And they've turned around ♪
26
00:01:22,382 --> 00:01:24,548
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
27
00:01:24,616 --> 00:01:26,551
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
28
00:01:26,619 --> 00:01:28,519
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
29
00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:30,588
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
30
00:01:30,656 --> 00:01:32,723
♪ yeah, we tease him a lot
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'cause we got him on the spot ♪
32
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♪ welcome back ♪
33
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♪ welcome back, welcome
Back, welcome back ♪
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00:01:45,104 --> 00:01:47,971
♪
35
00:02:01,187 --> 00:02:03,220
Now...
36
00:02:03,289 --> 00:02:05,422
The eruption of mount
Vesuvius was one of the great
37
00:02:05,492 --> 00:02:07,859
Natural disasters of all time.
38
00:02:07,927 --> 00:02:09,839
Who can name another
Natural disaster?
39
00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:11,462
Juan.
40
00:02:11,531 --> 00:02:13,730
Arnold?
41
00:02:13,799 --> 00:02:16,533
No, I want you to name
A natural disaster.
42
00:02:16,602 --> 00:02:18,568
I did, arnold.
43
00:02:26,879 --> 00:02:29,079
I'm a natural disaster, huh?
44
00:02:29,148 --> 00:02:30,480
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
45
00:02:30,549 --> 00:02:33,284
This from a man, whose
Socks burst into tears
46
00:02:33,352 --> 00:02:37,621
Every time they
Pass a laundry mat.
47
00:02:37,690 --> 00:02:41,025
Hey, hey, guy, my
Socks don't cry.
48
00:02:41,094 --> 00:02:44,428
They're men.
49
00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:47,398
Now, who else wants to
Say somethin' about my socks?
50
00:02:47,467 --> 00:02:48,899
Sit down, sit down.
51
00:02:48,968 --> 00:02:51,635
All right, we're talkin'
About natural disasters.
52
00:02:51,704 --> 00:02:53,204
Now, I'd like
Someone to give me...
53
00:02:53,272 --> 00:02:55,239
You mean, earthquakes
For example.
54
00:02:55,307 --> 00:02:56,173
Quiet, vinnie.
55
00:02:56,242 --> 00:03:01,378
What's your...
Very good, vinnie.
56
00:03:04,650 --> 00:03:06,261
I didn't know that you
Knew about earthquakes.
57
00:03:06,285 --> 00:03:10,120
I know a whole lot about 'em.
58
00:03:10,189 --> 00:03:12,156
Well, good, tell us something.
59
00:03:12,224 --> 00:03:13,423
What?
60
00:03:16,629 --> 00:03:17,673
What do you know
About earthquakes?
61
00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:19,697
Which ones do you know about?
62
00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:23,868
The third one.
63
00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:26,003
Did anyone do their
Homework last night?
64
00:03:26,071 --> 00:03:27,872
I did my homework, mr. Kotter.
65
00:03:27,940 --> 00:03:30,207
Yeah, what you study?
66
00:03:30,276 --> 00:03:33,710
Eye shadow through the ages?
67
00:03:33,779 --> 00:03:34,779
Beauty is a gift.
68
00:03:34,813 --> 00:03:36,446
It requires maintenance.
69
00:03:36,515 --> 00:03:38,749
Hey, I know about... I know
Where you're comin' from.
70
00:03:38,817 --> 00:03:40,562
Epstein's got a gardener
That comes in twice a week
71
00:03:40,586 --> 00:03:41,886
To weed out his hair.
72
00:03:45,324 --> 00:03:46,490
A gardener won't do it.
73
00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:49,293
What he needs is
An exterminator.
74
00:03:49,361 --> 00:03:52,696
Douh, douh.
75
00:03:52,765 --> 00:03:56,066
That's enough, douhing.
76
00:03:56,135 --> 00:03:57,779
Laura, what did you
Do your homework on?
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00:03:57,803 --> 00:04:00,037
Herself.
78
00:04:00,106 --> 00:04:03,407
It's her favorite subject.
79
00:04:03,475 --> 00:04:06,444
Actually, mr. Kotter, I studied
All about natural disasters.
80
00:04:06,512 --> 00:04:07,890
You know, how
To survive in them,
81
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,758
What kind of foods to eat,
Things we never thought
82
00:04:09,782 --> 00:04:11,348
Were edible before.
83
00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:13,417
Like what, mascara?
84
00:04:15,154 --> 00:04:17,288
No, like tree barks
And wild roots.
85
00:04:17,357 --> 00:04:20,258
Oh!
86
00:04:20,326 --> 00:04:23,394
Hey, freddie, did you have
Your wild roots today?
87
00:04:23,463 --> 00:04:25,096
I don't use wild roots no more.
88
00:04:25,164 --> 00:04:26,663
I use afro sheen.
89
00:04:29,168 --> 00:04:30,467
All right, all right, all right.
90
00:04:30,536 --> 00:04:32,213
Come on, let's not make
Fun of laura just 'cause
91
00:04:32,237 --> 00:04:33,537
She did her homework.
92
00:04:33,605 --> 00:04:37,842
All right, let's make fun
Of her for something else.
93
00:04:37,910 --> 00:04:39,710
Okay, how 'bout her nose?
94
00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:41,945
It's too small.
95
00:04:42,014 --> 00:04:43,713
Arnold, give her some nose.
96
00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:49,231
All right, all right,
Now everybody,
97
00:04:49,255 --> 00:04:51,221
I want your homework tomorrow.
98
00:04:51,290 --> 00:04:53,157
Yes, sir!
99
00:04:53,225 --> 00:04:55,559
You got it, right after we
Finish going to coney island.
100
00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:56,761
Coney island can wait.
101
00:04:56,829 --> 00:04:58,763
Oh, no, oh, no, no,
No, no, no, no, no, no.
102
00:04:58,831 --> 00:04:59,864
Not this time.
103
00:04:59,932 --> 00:05:01,799
This time, they got
A new attraction,
104
00:05:01,868 --> 00:05:03,701
Half man, half woman.
105
00:05:03,770 --> 00:05:07,672
Yeah, the sign outside
That says, he can't keep
106
00:05:07,740 --> 00:05:09,940
His hand of herself.
107
00:05:12,211 --> 00:05:13,710
Laura, can I see you a minute?
108
00:05:13,779 --> 00:05:17,013
Sure.
109
00:05:17,082 --> 00:05:18,594
That's a very interesting
Topic you picked about
110
00:05:18,618 --> 00:05:20,495
Natural disasters, you
Know, how to survive.
111
00:05:20,519 --> 00:05:26,056
Thank you.
112
00:05:26,125 --> 00:05:29,693
But, I'd like to talk to
You about putting make up
113
00:05:29,761 --> 00:05:30,860
On in class.
114
00:05:30,929 --> 00:05:32,862
It's distracting the
Rest of the students.
115
00:05:32,931 --> 00:05:35,900
Gee, thanks, mr. Kotter.
116
00:05:35,968 --> 00:05:39,770
Next time you come to school,
Leave the avon lady at home.
117
00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:43,440
Okay, you see I, I
Only meant to...
118
00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:45,409
Are you okay?
119
00:05:45,477 --> 00:05:47,344
Yeah, I... I'm fine.
120
00:05:47,413 --> 00:05:49,580
You don't look fine,
You look kinda pale.
121
00:05:49,648 --> 00:05:54,885
Well, I'm having
Trouble... Laura, laura!
122
00:05:54,954 --> 00:06:00,524
Laura, laura, laura,
Laura, are you okay?
123
00:06:02,661 --> 00:06:04,861
Laura!
124
00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:16,707
Kotter, what are you doing?
125
00:06:16,776 --> 00:06:20,010
Leave that child alone!
126
00:06:20,079 --> 00:06:21,011
You okay?
127
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:22,646
What happened?
128
00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:24,882
Why you kissing me?
129
00:06:24,951 --> 00:06:26,561
I've learned to live
With my loneliness.
130
00:06:26,585 --> 00:06:27,818
Why can't you?
131
00:06:29,455 --> 00:06:30,921
Come on, laura, try to get up.
132
00:06:30,990 --> 00:06:33,090
Try to get up.
133
00:06:33,159 --> 00:06:34,558
Mr. Woodman, laura fainted.
134
00:06:34,627 --> 00:06:35,827
Well, of course she fainted.
135
00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:39,129
Who wouldn't with a 200
Pound ox on top of her?
136
00:06:39,198 --> 00:06:40,531
You won't get away with this.
137
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:41,843
Mr. Woodman, you
Got it all wrong.
138
00:06:41,867 --> 00:06:42,800
She couldn't breathe.
139
00:06:42,868 --> 00:06:44,068
I was tryin' to help her.
140
00:06:44,136 --> 00:06:45,235
What happened?
141
00:06:45,304 --> 00:06:47,203
What happened,
Laura... What happened?
142
00:06:47,272 --> 00:06:48,383
I'll tell you what happened.
143
00:06:48,407 --> 00:06:51,142
Teacher goes
Berserk, film at 11.
144
00:06:53,312 --> 00:06:55,346
Mr. Woodman, that's not true.
145
00:06:55,414 --> 00:06:57,214
Is it, laura?
146
00:06:57,283 --> 00:07:01,218
Well, I don't know, I... I only
Remember that mr. Kotter
147
00:07:01,286 --> 00:07:02,864
Asked me to stay
Alone after class...
148
00:07:02,888 --> 00:07:05,355
Okay, okay, that's enough.
149
00:07:05,424 --> 00:07:08,859
All right, kotter,
I've got you now.
150
00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:10,895
I'm gonna make two phone calls,
151
00:07:10,963 --> 00:07:15,098
The school board and
The national enquirer.
152
00:07:15,167 --> 00:07:17,968
I know the untold story.
153
00:07:18,037 --> 00:07:19,514
- laura, come on...
- back, kotter, back!
154
00:07:19,538 --> 00:07:20,671
Haven't you had enough?
155
00:07:20,739 --> 00:07:22,873
Laura, tell him what...
Stay away, kotter!
156
00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:24,553
I have a whistle in my pocket.
157
00:07:29,948 --> 00:07:33,250
Honey, nobody at buchanan
Takes woodman seriously.
158
00:07:33,319 --> 00:07:36,253
It's why they made
Him vice principle.
159
00:07:36,321 --> 00:07:37,666
You're right, it's just
That the whole thing
160
00:07:37,690 --> 00:07:39,956
Is so ridiculous.
161
00:07:40,025 --> 00:07:41,603
Best thing to do is just
Put it out of my head.
162
00:07:41,627 --> 00:07:42,993
Right.
163
00:07:43,061 --> 00:07:48,331
Not that it matters, honey,
But, how pretty is this girl?
164
00:07:49,635 --> 00:07:51,301
She's very pretty, why?
165
00:07:51,370 --> 00:07:54,871
It's really funny
That the homely girls
166
00:07:54,940 --> 00:07:59,476
Never seem to faint.
167
00:07:59,545 --> 00:08:04,281
They do, but nobody
Pays any attention.
168
00:08:04,350 --> 00:08:06,083
Why am I doing jokes?
169
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:07,362
Julie, I just don't
Know what happened.
170
00:08:07,386 --> 00:08:08,685
One minute she was fine.
171
00:08:08,754 --> 00:08:10,265
She was putting on make
Up in the middle of the class,
172
00:08:10,289 --> 00:08:13,090
And the next minute she
Falls down in front of me, why?
173
00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:15,059
Maybe her make up was too heavy.
174
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:24,868
Look, I'm sure by now laura's
Told woodman everything.
175
00:08:24,937 --> 00:08:25,869
You think so?
176
00:08:25,938 --> 00:08:27,738
Sure, the whole
Thing's ridiculous.
177
00:08:27,806 --> 00:08:29,840
You're right, the
Whole thing's ridiculous.
178
00:08:29,909 --> 00:08:32,910
I mean, a paramedic
Gets paid for what I did.
179
00:08:32,979 --> 00:08:34,355
They'll probably
Give me a metal.
180
00:08:34,379 --> 00:08:39,182
Right, either that or
They'll bronze your lips.
181
00:08:39,251 --> 00:08:41,618
Honey, why don't you go
Say good night to the girls?
182
00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:42,786
Yeah, okay.
183
00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:47,524
Just don't kiss them.
184
00:08:47,592 --> 00:08:51,795
They have colds, remember?
185
00:09:02,174 --> 00:09:04,775
We heard what happened.
186
00:09:04,843 --> 00:09:08,812
Not a pretty picture.
187
00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:12,949
Everything going okay
Between you and the old man?
188
00:09:13,018 --> 00:09:16,419
Yeah.
189
00:09:16,488 --> 00:09:19,222
We just want mr. Kotter
To know that we believe
190
00:09:19,291 --> 00:09:22,059
He would never do anything bad.
191
00:09:22,127 --> 00:09:27,130
But then we're just
Innocent children,
192
00:09:27,199 --> 00:09:30,934
Like laura used to be.
193
00:09:31,003 --> 00:09:33,070
How could he do this to me?
194
00:09:33,138 --> 00:09:34,805
I didn't even date her yet.
195
00:09:37,843 --> 00:09:40,443
Look, guys, this is not funny.
196
00:09:40,512 --> 00:09:44,715
You are talking about
The molester I love.
197
00:09:44,783 --> 00:09:47,417
Now, that's funny.
198
00:09:47,485 --> 00:09:49,097
We just want mr. Kotair
To know that we
199
00:09:49,121 --> 00:09:50,654
Gonna stand behind him.
200
00:09:50,722 --> 00:09:56,659
Because we know that he would
Never do so dastardly a deed.
201
00:09:56,728 --> 00:09:58,061
Hi, guys.
202
00:09:58,130 --> 00:10:02,365
Shame on you!
203
00:10:02,434 --> 00:10:04,101
Guys, quit it.
204
00:10:04,169 --> 00:10:06,403
Now, believe it or
Not, gabe is very upset
205
00:10:06,472 --> 00:10:08,505
By this ridiculous accusation.
206
00:10:08,574 --> 00:10:09,607
He's upset?
207
00:10:09,675 --> 00:10:11,341
Baby's havin' a tantrum.
208
00:10:11,409 --> 00:10:13,143
Who's baby?
209
00:10:13,212 --> 00:10:14,890
Well, that's laura's
Younger brother.
210
00:10:14,914 --> 00:10:17,981
Yeah, we come by to tell ya
That he's on his way over here.
211
00:10:18,050 --> 00:10:19,216
Hey, don't worry about it.
212
00:10:19,284 --> 00:10:20,895
I mean, I'll buy him
An ice cream cone.
213
00:10:20,919 --> 00:10:21,963
I'm very good with kids.
214
00:10:30,329 --> 00:10:35,799
Julie, did you send out
For a long showmen?
215
00:10:35,868 --> 00:10:37,467
That's baby.
216
00:10:37,536 --> 00:10:38,635
Good luck.
217
00:10:42,808 --> 00:10:43,985
Hey, where are you guys goin'?
218
00:10:44,009 --> 00:10:45,053
Goin' to the pool room, baby.
219
00:10:45,077 --> 00:10:46,254
Movies, gotta go to the movies.
220
00:10:46,278 --> 00:10:48,044
Library.
221
00:10:48,113 --> 00:10:50,147
Hey, baby, how are you?
222
00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:52,294
Look, if you wanna change
Your diaper, don't worry about it
223
00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:54,451
'cause they got twins here.
224
00:10:57,923 --> 00:11:01,358
Oh, so your laura's
Brother, baby.
225
00:11:04,196 --> 00:11:07,764
Come in.
226
00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:13,837
Gee, don't you have
Any winter clothes?
227
00:11:13,906 --> 00:11:17,374
These are my winter clothes.
228
00:11:17,443 --> 00:11:19,221
What do you wear
In the summer time?
229
00:11:19,245 --> 00:11:20,477
Sunglasses.
230
00:11:25,083 --> 00:11:29,520
Well, baby, can I
Offer you something?
231
00:11:29,588 --> 00:11:32,489
A tire?
232
00:11:32,558 --> 00:11:35,793
Would you like a new set
Of luggage to jump on?
233
00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:38,295
I'd like to jump on your face.
234
00:11:38,363 --> 00:11:40,242
Oh, come on, you're much
Too intelligent for that.
235
00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:41,498
Let's talk about it.
236
00:11:41,567 --> 00:11:42,932
Yeah.
237
00:11:43,001 --> 00:11:46,036
I let my arms do
All the talking.
238
00:11:46,104 --> 00:11:48,171
Here.
239
00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:50,974
Born to kill?
240
00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:53,043
Oh, here's a great one.
241
00:11:53,112 --> 00:11:56,847
Honk if you like bleeding.
242
00:11:56,915 --> 00:12:01,452
And it's really a nice touch
How his freckles dot the I's.
243
00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:03,753
Hey, look, what'd you
Do to my baby sister, huh?
244
00:12:03,823 --> 00:12:04,900
I didn't do anything
To your sister.
245
00:12:04,924 --> 00:12:06,033
Didn't she tell you
What happened?
246
00:12:06,057 --> 00:12:07,424
Well, she's not home yet.
247
00:12:07,493 --> 00:12:08,859
What?
248
00:12:08,928 --> 00:12:10,208
You mean you didn't talk to her?
249
00:12:10,262 --> 00:12:11,939
Well, didn't it occur
To you to talk to her
250
00:12:11,963 --> 00:12:15,365
Before you go around
Threatening people?
251
00:12:15,433 --> 00:12:18,835
No.
252
00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:21,204
Well, it should have.
253
00:12:21,273 --> 00:12:22,739
That's right, it should have.
254
00:12:22,807 --> 00:12:25,309
Well, it didn't.
255
00:12:25,377 --> 00:12:29,212
Listen, you missing link,
I've had enough of this.
256
00:12:29,281 --> 00:12:30,580
You are not a guest.
257
00:12:30,648 --> 00:12:31,948
You are not a friend.
258
00:12:32,017 --> 00:12:33,917
You are not even a person.
259
00:12:33,986 --> 00:12:35,919
Get out!
260
00:12:35,988 --> 00:12:37,787
Out, now!
261
00:12:37,856 --> 00:12:41,191
Does this mean I gotta leave?
262
00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:43,093
It certainly does
Mean you have to leave
263
00:12:43,162 --> 00:12:45,428
Before I make a rug out of you.
264
00:12:45,497 --> 00:12:46,529
Out!
265
00:12:46,598 --> 00:12:49,199
Out!
266
00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:51,268
All right, julie, I'll
Take it from here.
267
00:12:57,009 --> 00:13:00,677
Oh, honey, I just love
It when I see that streak
268
00:13:00,746 --> 00:13:03,580
Of meekness in your eyes.
269
00:13:05,184 --> 00:13:07,151
Meekness?
270
00:13:07,219 --> 00:13:08,952
I'll show you, meekness.
271
00:13:09,021 --> 00:13:11,755
All right, listen
To me, you grunt.
272
00:13:11,823 --> 00:13:14,358
You keep your hair
Meat hooks off my door.
273
00:13:14,426 --> 00:13:16,860
You know what you are,
You're nothin' but a parasite
274
00:13:16,928 --> 00:13:20,430
Living off the emotions
Of decent people.
275
00:13:24,570 --> 00:13:26,250
Kotter, how did
You know it was me?
276
00:13:30,375 --> 00:13:34,310
Hi, mr. Woodman, just drop
By to heckle the molester?
277
00:13:34,379 --> 00:13:36,913
No, actually I have
Some good news.
278
00:13:36,982 --> 00:13:39,649
Oh, yeah, what happened, you
Get laura to press charges?
279
00:13:39,718 --> 00:13:41,429
No, as a matter of fact,
She refuses to lodge
280
00:13:41,453 --> 00:13:42,752
A criminal complaint.
281
00:13:42,821 --> 00:13:44,521
What I tell ya, honey?
282
00:13:44,590 --> 00:13:46,289
I also have some bad news.
283
00:13:46,358 --> 00:13:48,825
I'm afraid lazarus got
Wind of what happened.
284
00:13:48,894 --> 00:13:51,795
I wonder who blew
That wind by him?
285
00:13:51,863 --> 00:13:54,164
Come on, kotter, I know I
Threatened you this afternoon,
286
00:13:54,233 --> 00:13:57,700
But everyone knows I
Thrive on threatening people.
287
00:13:57,769 --> 00:14:00,370
You're a charming
Man, mr. Woodman.
288
00:14:00,439 --> 00:14:03,073
Thank you, julie,
But it won't help him.
289
00:14:03,142 --> 00:14:06,509
Lazarus is bringing you before
The board tomorrow morning.
290
00:14:06,578 --> 00:14:09,279
He got the girl to
Make a sworn statement.
291
00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:13,917
What could she swear to?
292
00:14:13,985 --> 00:14:17,187
Mr. Kotter asked me
To stay after class.
293
00:14:17,256 --> 00:14:20,924
The last thing I remember
Was he put his arms around me.
294
00:14:20,992 --> 00:14:26,162
When I woke up, he was
Bending over, trying to kiss me.
295
00:14:26,231 --> 00:14:28,231
Oh, boy.
296
00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:31,435
Well, it's not all bad, kotter.
297
00:14:31,503 --> 00:14:35,972
You may teach again, somewhere.
298
00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:38,341
Maybe at one of those
Little one room schools
299
00:14:38,410 --> 00:14:41,511
Along the alaskan pipeline.
300
00:14:41,580 --> 00:14:43,547
I understand
They're not too fussy.
301
00:14:57,763 --> 00:14:58,862
Hey, judy.
302
00:14:58,931 --> 00:15:00,708
Don't touch me,
Stay away from me!
303
00:15:00,732 --> 00:15:04,567
You just keep your
Mouth to yourself!
304
00:15:04,636 --> 00:15:06,236
I see you heard the news.
305
00:15:06,305 --> 00:15:07,571
Heard about it?
306
00:15:07,639 --> 00:15:09,005
I know.
307
00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:11,408
I've been there
Many times myself,
308
00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:15,379
A poor, defenseless
Sex object like me.
309
00:15:19,150 --> 00:15:20,628
Everybody knows
You're a sex object, judy.
310
00:15:20,652 --> 00:15:25,021
We just can't figure out to who.
311
00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:26,489
Are you kidding?
312
00:15:26,558 --> 00:15:30,827
Inside this gorgeous
Body lives a person.
313
00:15:33,932 --> 00:15:35,342
Yeah when we find her,
We're gonna tell her
314
00:15:35,366 --> 00:15:36,833
She picked a bad location.
315
00:15:39,905 --> 00:15:43,739
I'm sorry, judy, I'm
Just a little tense.
316
00:15:46,578 --> 00:15:48,845
Okay, kotter, mr. Jan
Of the school board
317
00:15:48,913 --> 00:15:51,348
Is ready to see you now.
318
00:15:51,416 --> 00:15:52,427
Has laura finished yet?
319
00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:53,550
Laura?
320
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,396
Laura, hasn't she told
Them what happened?
321
00:15:55,420 --> 00:15:57,164
No, lazarus read her
Statement to the board.
322
00:15:57,188 --> 00:15:59,088
He feels that's enough.
323
00:15:59,157 --> 00:16:00,523
That's enough?
324
00:16:00,592 --> 00:16:02,103
That's enough, yeah, that's
Enough to get me thrown
325
00:16:02,127 --> 00:16:03,960
Out of school.
326
00:16:04,029 --> 00:16:05,573
Mr. Woodman, I'm
Being railroaded.
327
00:16:05,597 --> 00:16:07,063
Toot-toot.
328
00:16:10,569 --> 00:16:14,604
Cork it, judith.
329
00:16:14,673 --> 00:16:16,540
There's nothing to
Worry about, kotter.
330
00:16:16,608 --> 00:16:18,453
I told him the truth,
Exactly what happened.
331
00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:20,610
Believe me, he understands.
332
00:16:20,679 --> 00:16:21,756
Oh, thank you, mr. Woodman.
333
00:16:21,780 --> 00:16:23,124
You don't know how
Much I appreciate that.
334
00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:24,815
You saved my life.
335
00:16:24,883 --> 00:16:27,150
Think nothing of it, kotter.
336
00:16:27,218 --> 00:16:30,754
Mr. Kotter, naughty,
Naughty, naughty.
337
00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:47,204
Here she is.
338
00:16:47,272 --> 00:16:52,909
Darling, we've been looking
All over the beauty shop for you.
339
00:16:52,978 --> 00:16:57,180
Oh, mr. Juan.
340
00:16:57,249 --> 00:16:59,783
Mr. Juan?
341
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:03,920
I think ms. Laura is ready
For her comb out, now.
342
00:17:03,989 --> 00:17:09,025
Yes, well, mr. H, I think
What we should do is,
343
00:17:09,094 --> 00:17:11,072
Perhaps we should
Have a simple blue streak
344
00:17:11,096 --> 00:17:17,033
Down the front, and perhaps
A dorothy hamill in the back.
345
00:17:17,102 --> 00:17:20,837
Oh, short and sassy.
346
00:17:20,905 --> 00:17:23,006
Now, look, I've been a
Hair dresser a lot longer
347
00:17:23,075 --> 00:17:26,276
Than you girls.
348
00:17:26,345 --> 00:17:29,045
And what I think this, this
Doll needs is something
349
00:17:29,114 --> 00:17:32,548
Exciting, like a hat.
350
00:17:32,617 --> 00:17:36,752
Now, look, ya'll must
Be mad now, child.
351
00:17:36,821 --> 00:17:38,032
Now, look, look, you
Just look at the shape
352
00:17:38,056 --> 00:17:39,555
Of ms. Thing's head there, now.
353
00:17:39,624 --> 00:17:42,104
Now, now, she needs... She needs
Something that's gonna go help
354
00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:43,393
Pull it all together.
355
00:17:43,462 --> 00:17:45,639
Now, girl, look, your hair
Is screamin' for effort,
356
00:17:45,663 --> 00:17:47,097
Whatever that might be.
357
00:17:50,902 --> 00:17:54,036
Hun, hun, if you tease
Your hair anymore,
358
00:17:54,105 --> 00:17:57,139
It's gonna bite you.
359
00:17:57,209 --> 00:17:58,140
Guys, do you mind?
360
00:17:58,210 --> 00:17:59,542
This is my lunch hour.
361
00:17:59,611 --> 00:18:01,778
How can you sit here and pork up
362
00:18:01,847 --> 00:18:04,380
When a man's future's gonna
Be flushed down the toilet?
363
00:18:04,449 --> 00:18:06,916
How, I'm hungry, that's how.
364
00:18:06,985 --> 00:18:10,187
Oh, yeah, well chomp on this.
365
00:18:10,255 --> 00:18:11,487
Take a look at this here.
366
00:18:11,556 --> 00:18:14,557
What we've done is we
Circumnavigated a few words here
367
00:18:14,626 --> 00:18:16,159
To tell what really happened.
368
00:18:16,228 --> 00:18:17,939
This is the real version
Of what happened here.
369
00:18:17,963 --> 00:18:19,329
Go ahead, now you read that.
370
00:18:19,397 --> 00:18:20,263
How could you?
371
00:18:20,332 --> 00:18:21,412
You weren't even there?
372
00:18:21,466 --> 00:18:23,044
Oh, yeah, well
Neither was you, baby.
373
00:18:23,068 --> 00:18:25,469
Remember, you was out cold.
374
00:18:25,537 --> 00:18:26,602
Arnold, read it.
375
00:18:26,671 --> 00:18:27,904
Okay.
376
00:18:27,973 --> 00:18:33,209
Cottage cheese, milk, rye
Bread, taco sauce, call murry...
377
00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:35,445
Hey, hey turn it
Over, turn it over.
378
00:18:35,514 --> 00:18:37,680
Corn flakes, cue tips.
379
00:18:37,749 --> 00:18:39,482
Nah, nah, lower, lower.
380
00:18:39,551 --> 00:18:41,451
Corn flakes, cue tips.
381
00:18:45,990 --> 00:18:51,861
I, laura stevens hereby declare
That I lured mr. Gabriel kotter
382
00:18:51,930 --> 00:18:54,931
Into his very own
Classroom in order to act like
383
00:18:54,999 --> 00:18:58,801
A shameless hussy.
384
00:18:58,870 --> 00:19:00,770
I did not.
385
00:19:00,838 --> 00:19:02,905
Oh, yeah, you did to
'cause it says it right here
386
00:19:02,974 --> 00:19:04,274
In this note here.
387
00:19:04,343 --> 00:19:08,211
Look, it says shame
On your hussy.
388
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:10,780
Look, guys, he asked
Me to stay after class.
389
00:19:10,848 --> 00:19:13,316
He just wanted to tell me not
To put on make up during class.
390
00:19:13,385 --> 00:19:16,019
Now, will you let me
Finish my hair and my lunch?
391
00:19:16,087 --> 00:19:18,888
You eat your hair for lunch?
392
00:19:18,956 --> 00:19:21,024
These happen to be bean sprouts.
393
00:19:21,092 --> 00:19:22,804
Oh, yeah, well let me see
This here, let me see this.
394
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:25,562
Oh, look at this, no
Wonder why you're so skinny,
395
00:19:25,630 --> 00:19:29,232
Eatin' all this narrow food.
396
00:19:29,301 --> 00:19:31,033
Gee, thanks, you
Really think I look thin?
397
00:19:31,103 --> 00:19:33,336
I hope so, this is all I've
Been eating for two weeks.
398
00:19:33,405 --> 00:19:35,004
Bean sprouts?
399
00:19:35,073 --> 00:19:36,918
How do you keep
Goin' on bean sprouts?
400
00:19:36,942 --> 00:19:38,875
She don't.
401
00:19:38,943 --> 00:19:40,843
She faints.
402
00:19:40,912 --> 00:19:42,945
Ain't that right, laura.
403
00:19:43,014 --> 00:19:44,492
Well, maybe once or twice.
404
00:19:44,516 --> 00:19:47,050
Like yesterday in front
Of mr. Kotter, right?
405
00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:48,218
I don't remember.
406
00:19:48,287 --> 00:19:50,620
Well, let's refresh
Your memory here, huh?
407
00:19:50,689 --> 00:19:52,734
What we want you to do is,
We want you to go and talk
408
00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:56,026
To the school board, tell
'em what really happened,
409
00:19:56,094 --> 00:19:58,006
Not how kotter attacked
You, but how you oded
410
00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:01,764
On the bean sprouts.
411
00:20:01,833 --> 00:20:03,566
Oh, come on guys,
I can't do that.
412
00:20:03,635 --> 00:20:05,568
I don't want them
To know I'm dieting.
413
00:20:05,637 --> 00:20:08,505
They might think I'm vain.
414
00:20:08,573 --> 00:20:13,843
Well, what do you
Want, vain or pain?
415
00:20:13,912 --> 00:20:15,923
All right, all right,
I'm going, I'm going.
416
00:20:15,947 --> 00:20:19,582
Yeah.
417
00:20:26,258 --> 00:20:30,660
Mr. Woodman, I...
What are you doing?
418
00:20:30,728 --> 00:20:32,808
Kotter's in there with
Mr. Jan of the school board.
419
00:20:32,864 --> 00:20:37,500
I'm listening to him sweat.
420
00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:39,502
Yes, dear child,
What can I do for you?
421
00:20:39,571 --> 00:20:41,805
Mr. Woodman, I don't think
The board understands.
422
00:20:41,873 --> 00:20:43,317
You see, I've gotta tell
Them that mr. Kotter
423
00:20:43,341 --> 00:20:44,507
Didn't attack me.
424
00:20:44,576 --> 00:20:45,775
Not now, laura.
425
00:20:45,844 --> 00:20:48,044
Just wait a second and
See if kotter breaks down
426
00:20:48,113 --> 00:20:49,311
On the stand.
427
00:20:49,380 --> 00:20:51,548
But mr. Woodman, I have
To tell them the truth.
428
00:20:51,617 --> 00:20:53,427
What and deny an old man
What little pleasure he has
429
00:20:53,451 --> 00:20:55,751
Left in life?
430
00:20:55,820 --> 00:21:01,524
Just one last listen.
431
00:21:01,593 --> 00:21:03,593
Are you all right, laura?
432
00:21:03,661 --> 00:21:06,129
Yeah, I'm fine.
433
00:21:06,198 --> 00:21:08,798
Laura!
434
00:21:19,911 --> 00:21:21,544
Not another one!
435
00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:23,357
Oh, shut up, judy,
The child fainted.
436
00:21:23,381 --> 00:21:24,613
Go call the nurse.
437
00:21:24,682 --> 00:21:26,616
Oh, I can't stand this.
438
00:21:26,685 --> 00:21:29,285
I'm gonna transfer to
A private girl's school.
439
00:21:29,354 --> 00:21:30,820
Oh, you're all alike.
440
00:21:30,889 --> 00:21:32,722
You only have one
Thing on your mind.
441
00:21:32,791 --> 00:21:37,160
It's just disgusting.
442
00:21:37,229 --> 00:21:40,096
Quiet, please,
We're trying to...
443
00:21:40,165 --> 00:21:41,942
She'd better be drowning,
Woodman, or you're
444
00:21:41,966 --> 00:21:44,934
In a lot of trouble.
445
00:21:45,003 --> 00:21:47,971
Laura, laura, are you okay?
446
00:21:48,039 --> 00:21:50,006
What happened?
447
00:21:50,075 --> 00:21:53,542
I think you had
Another faculty attack.
448
00:21:53,611 --> 00:21:56,312
Gee, it really was
The bean sprout diet.
449
00:21:56,381 --> 00:21:57,647
Bean sprouts?
450
00:21:57,715 --> 00:21:59,615
Let's get up.
451
00:21:59,684 --> 00:22:01,495
Yeah, you see I've been
On this bean sprout diet,
452
00:22:01,519 --> 00:22:05,655
And mr. Woodman and mr. Kotter
Were just trying to help me.
453
00:22:05,724 --> 00:22:08,591
I guess it's time to
Forget the diet, huh?
454
00:22:08,660 --> 00:22:09,971
Bean sprouts, you
Know, mr. Jan, they're
455
00:22:09,995 --> 00:22:11,494
On the number three dinner.
456
00:22:18,637 --> 00:22:20,870
Laura, please go
Down to the cafeteria
457
00:22:20,939 --> 00:22:23,440
And have something
Substantial to eat.
458
00:22:23,508 --> 00:22:24,985
Yeah, uh, tell them
Not to give you
459
00:22:25,009 --> 00:22:27,977
The roast legger surprise.
460
00:22:28,046 --> 00:22:29,779
Thanks, mr. Kotter.
461
00:22:29,848 --> 00:22:32,748
Well, you're both to be
Commended for your quick
462
00:22:32,817 --> 00:22:35,618
Thinking and your
Knowledge of first aid.
463
00:22:35,686 --> 00:22:36,752
Thank you, mr. Jan.
464
00:22:36,821 --> 00:22:38,366
Of course, I was much
Faster than kotter.
465
00:22:38,390 --> 00:22:39,934
In two seconds, I
Was all over her.
466
00:22:39,958 --> 00:22:46,362
I mean, uh... I mean,
You know what I mean.
467
00:22:46,431 --> 00:22:47,608
Sure, we know what
You mean, mr. Woodman.
468
00:22:47,632 --> 00:22:49,165
You got nothin' to worry about,
469
00:22:49,234 --> 00:22:51,078
Except maybe laura going
Around telling everybody
470
00:22:51,102 --> 00:22:53,436
You're a wet kisser.
471
00:22:53,505 --> 00:22:55,905
Woodman, in the office.
472
00:22:55,974 --> 00:22:57,474
She said that?
473
00:22:57,542 --> 00:22:59,609
She said that?
474
00:23:09,887 --> 00:23:12,254
Well, mr. Kotter, on
Behalf of the school board,
475
00:23:12,323 --> 00:23:14,891
I'd like to apologize
For what happened.
476
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:18,194
Oh, don't worry
About it, mr. Jan.
477
00:23:18,262 --> 00:23:19,406
I'm curious about
Something, is it true
478
00:23:19,430 --> 00:23:21,174
That you don't
Like oriental food?
479
00:23:21,198 --> 00:23:25,568
Yes, that's true,
I prefer italian.
480
00:23:25,636 --> 00:23:26,569
Really?
481
00:23:26,638 --> 00:23:27,848
Listen, I gotta
Tell you a story,
482
00:23:27,872 --> 00:23:29,817
A true story, happened
To one of my uncles.
483
00:23:29,841 --> 00:23:31,341
Your uncle?
484
00:23:31,409 --> 00:23:33,810
My uncle goes into
An italian restaurant,
485
00:23:33,879 --> 00:23:35,478
And he's got a chinese waiter.
486
00:23:35,547 --> 00:23:38,180
And the chinese waiter comes
Up and speaks perfect italian.
487
00:23:38,249 --> 00:23:39,849
Takes his order
In perfect italian.
488
00:23:39,918 --> 00:23:40,962
My uncle can't believe it.
489
00:23:40,986 --> 00:23:42,218
He calls over the owner.
490
00:23:42,286 --> 00:23:43,931
He said, how come that
Chinese waiter speaks
491
00:23:43,955 --> 00:23:45,221
Perfect italian?
492
00:23:45,289 --> 00:23:46,901
The owner said, well, he's
Only been in this country
493
00:23:46,925 --> 00:23:47,957
For two months.
494
00:23:48,026 --> 00:23:49,466
He thinks we're
Teaching him english.
495
00:23:56,100 --> 00:23:58,968
♪
496
00:24:02,473 --> 00:24:04,774
♪ welcome back ♪
497
00:24:04,843 --> 00:24:08,678
♪ your dreams were
Your ticket out ♪
498
00:24:08,746 --> 00:24:10,947
♪ welcome back ♪
499
00:24:11,015 --> 00:24:15,551
♪ to that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
500
00:24:15,620 --> 00:24:17,687
♪ well the names
Have all changed
501
00:24:17,755 --> 00:24:19,922
Since you hung around ♪
502
00:24:19,990 --> 00:24:22,024
♪ but those dreams have remained
503
00:24:22,093 --> 00:24:24,260
And they've turned around ♪
504
00:24:24,328 --> 00:24:26,496
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
505
00:24:26,564 --> 00:24:28,731
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
506
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:30,700
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
507
00:24:30,769 --> 00:24:32,568
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
508
00:24:32,637 --> 00:24:34,604
♪ yeah, we tease him a lot
509
00:24:34,672 --> 00:24:36,806
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
510
00:24:36,875 --> 00:24:39,008
♪ welcome back ♪
511
00:24:39,076 --> 00:24:43,379
♪ welcome back, welcome
Back, welcome back ♪
512
00:24:43,448 --> 00:24:45,949
♪ welcome back, welcome back ♪
513
00:24:46,017 --> 00:24:48,551
♪ welcome back ♪
514
00:24:48,620 --> 00:24:52,321
♪ we always could
Spot a friend ♪
515
00:24:52,390 --> 00:24:54,591
♪ welcome back ♪
516
00:24:54,659 --> 00:24:56,626
♪ and I smile when I think
517
00:24:56,695 --> 00:24:59,228
How you must've been ♪
518
00:24:59,297 --> 00:25:01,230
♪ and I know what a scene
519
00:25:01,299 --> 00:25:03,566
You were learnin' in ♪
520
00:25:03,635 --> 00:25:05,515
♪ was there something
That made you ♪♪
37146
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