All language subtitles for Welcome Back, Kotter S03e24 Horshack And The Madame X

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,868 --> 00:00:04,268 An amazing story, my dear, 2 00:00:04,337 --> 00:00:06,170 Was the story Of my uncle julian. 3 00:00:06,239 --> 00:00:08,539 Oh, why don't you tell Me about uncle julian? 4 00:00:08,608 --> 00:00:11,675 Uncle julian was Raised by wild dogs. 5 00:00:11,744 --> 00:00:12,943 Oh, interesting. 6 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,690 Yes, and when he Was 12 years old, 7 00:00:14,714 --> 00:00:17,315 He was brought to civilization And he went to school, 8 00:00:17,384 --> 00:00:19,850 He learned everything, he Graduated from high school, 9 00:00:19,919 --> 00:00:23,254 Took the civil service Test, and became a mailman. 10 00:00:23,323 --> 00:00:24,522 You're kidding! 11 00:00:24,590 --> 00:00:26,657 That's great, what Happened to him? 12 00:00:26,726 --> 00:00:27,926 What happened? He got fired. 13 00:00:27,994 --> 00:00:29,338 He used to bite Himself on the leg 14 00:00:29,362 --> 00:00:31,002 When he was delivering the mail. 15 00:00:34,134 --> 00:00:40,004 ♪ 16 00:00:41,974 --> 00:00:44,642 ♪ welcome back ♪ 17 00:00:44,710 --> 00:00:48,513 ♪ your dreams were Your ticket out ♪ 18 00:00:48,581 --> 00:00:50,681 ♪ welcome back ♪ 19 00:00:50,750 --> 00:00:55,386 ♪ to that same old place That you laughed about ♪ 20 00:00:55,455 --> 00:00:57,588 ♪ well the names Have all changed 21 00:00:57,657 --> 00:00:59,857 Since you hung around ♪ 22 00:00:59,926 --> 00:01:02,026 ♪ but those dreams have remained 23 00:01:02,095 --> 00:01:04,295 And they've turned around ♪ 24 00:01:04,364 --> 00:01:06,364 ♪ who'd have thought They'd lead ya ♪ 25 00:01:06,433 --> 00:01:08,353 ♪ who'd have thought They'd lead ya ♪ 26 00:01:08,401 --> 00:01:10,368 ♪ back here where we need ya ♪ 27 00:01:10,437 --> 00:01:12,603 ♪ back here where we need ya ♪ 28 00:01:12,672 --> 00:01:14,572 ♪ yeah, we tease him a lot 29 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:16,840 'cause we got him on the spot ♪ 30 00:01:16,909 --> 00:01:18,909 ♪ welcome back ♪ 31 00:01:18,978 --> 00:01:24,582 ♪ welcome back, welcome Back, welcome back ♪♪ 32 00:01:24,650 --> 00:01:25,650 ♪ 33 00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:42,533 I don't understand it. 34 00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:45,002 Somewhere there's Gotta be a girl for me. 35 00:01:46,672 --> 00:01:49,340 Aw, arnold, come on, of Course there is, arnold. 36 00:01:49,409 --> 00:01:52,676 And someday, someday You're gonna meet her. 37 00:01:52,745 --> 00:01:53,989 I even heard this Rumor goin' around 38 00:01:54,013 --> 00:01:55,613 That godzilla has a daughter. 39 00:01:57,484 --> 00:01:58,649 Come on, arnold. 40 00:01:58,718 --> 00:02:00,596 Come on, cheer up, I'm Only kiddin' around, eh? 41 00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:02,786 Cheryl kipnus ain't the Onliest chick in brooklyn. 42 00:02:02,855 --> 00:02:03,899 Yeah, and this ain't The worst thing 43 00:02:03,923 --> 00:02:05,123 That ever happened, either. 44 00:02:05,191 --> 00:02:05,990 Oh, vinnie, vinnie, 45 00:02:06,058 --> 00:02:07,458 You don't know what it's like 46 00:02:07,527 --> 00:02:10,294 To always get dumped by girls. 47 00:02:10,363 --> 00:02:11,762 No. 48 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:15,633 But you do. 49 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,471 Hey arnold, arnold, Don't worry about it. 50 00:02:20,540 --> 00:02:22,351 Look on the brighter side... One day you're gonna be able 51 00:02:22,375 --> 00:02:24,542 To look back on All of this and... 52 00:02:24,611 --> 00:02:27,445 Burst into tears. 53 00:02:27,514 --> 00:02:29,458 Yeah, lookit, arnold, Maybe this cheryl kipnus, 54 00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:31,549 You know, she's just Playin' hard to get. 55 00:02:31,618 --> 00:02:33,917 Oh, little juan, you Don't understand. 56 00:02:33,986 --> 00:02:36,987 A girl is not playing Hard to get when she says, 57 00:02:37,056 --> 00:02:41,359 "Arnold, if you was The last man on earth, 58 00:02:41,427 --> 00:02:43,794 I'd start dating trees." 59 00:02:46,732 --> 00:02:49,133 Look, arnold, girls like you. 60 00:02:49,202 --> 00:02:50,535 Watch this. 61 00:02:50,603 --> 00:02:52,370 Angie, come here. 62 00:02:52,438 --> 00:02:54,038 - yeah? - I'm gonna prove this to you. 63 00:02:54,106 --> 00:02:55,573 I'm gonna prove it to you. 64 00:02:55,642 --> 00:02:57,741 How about showin' Horshack a good time? 65 00:02:57,810 --> 00:02:59,677 Are you kidding? 66 00:02:59,745 --> 00:03:00,911 She's busy. 67 00:03:03,082 --> 00:03:05,416 Laura, laura, come here! 68 00:03:05,485 --> 00:03:06,350 Yeah, vinnie? 69 00:03:06,419 --> 00:03:08,018 How about takin' horshack out? 70 00:03:08,087 --> 00:03:10,354 Sure, long as I can Bring a date along. 71 00:03:12,091 --> 00:03:13,123 Aw. 72 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,726 Face it, vinnie, I'm just a loser. 73 00:03:15,795 --> 00:03:18,329 Last night I called dial a date. 74 00:03:18,398 --> 00:03:20,097 They hung up on me. 75 00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:24,669 Hey, it's after three. 76 00:03:24,737 --> 00:03:27,004 You feebs are holding a seance? 77 00:03:27,073 --> 00:03:29,307 See if you can Contact your brains? 78 00:03:32,312 --> 00:03:34,712 Hey, come on, let It be, mr. Woodman. 79 00:03:34,780 --> 00:03:36,358 Arnold horshack Here, he's got the blues. 80 00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:37,781 We're tryin' to cheer him up. 81 00:03:37,850 --> 00:03:38,982 Cheer him up? 82 00:03:39,051 --> 00:03:41,419 That's insane, every Man has a right to misery 83 00:03:41,487 --> 00:03:42,587 And depression. 84 00:03:42,655 --> 00:03:44,255 Arnold more than most. 85 00:03:48,695 --> 00:03:50,094 Hey mr. Woodman, 86 00:03:50,162 --> 00:03:51,473 Why don't you go find a volcano 87 00:03:51,497 --> 00:03:53,431 And check it out From the inside? 88 00:03:57,837 --> 00:03:59,370 Manana, guys. 89 00:03:59,439 --> 00:04:01,472 What do you mean "Manana?" 90 00:04:06,279 --> 00:04:07,478 What are you talkin' about? 91 00:04:07,547 --> 00:04:08,624 We're gonna be over your house 92 00:04:08,648 --> 00:04:10,248 Watchin' tv tonight. 93 00:04:10,316 --> 00:04:11,716 Why don't you stop by? 94 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:19,724 Yeah, and don't come empty Handed like you did last time. 95 00:04:19,792 --> 00:04:22,526 That was tacky, very tacky. 96 00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:25,363 Go stop by and get Some fig newtons. 97 00:04:25,431 --> 00:04:26,475 Fig newtons? You Sure you don't want 98 00:04:26,499 --> 00:04:27,765 Some milk to wash it down with? 99 00:04:27,833 --> 00:04:29,545 You know they get Stuck in your throat. 100 00:04:29,569 --> 00:04:31,213 Well, what is the part that Gets stuck in your throat, 101 00:04:31,237 --> 00:04:32,836 The fig or the newton? 102 00:04:35,207 --> 00:04:36,918 Vinnie, I think your figs Got stuck to your newton 103 00:04:36,942 --> 00:04:38,743 A long time ago. 104 00:04:38,811 --> 00:04:40,711 Doi, doi. 105 00:04:42,582 --> 00:04:43,825 Look, guys, uh, I don't think 106 00:04:43,849 --> 00:04:45,093 There's gonna be Any tv watching. 107 00:04:45,117 --> 00:04:47,451 I, uh, I'm gonna be busy Every night this week. 108 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:49,131 Hm, busy every night this week. 109 00:04:49,155 --> 00:04:51,455 So, starting already. 110 00:04:51,524 --> 00:04:53,302 I figured a man like You would get the itch 111 00:04:53,326 --> 00:04:54,992 Sooner or later. 112 00:04:55,060 --> 00:04:57,161 I don't have any Itches, mr. Woodman. 113 00:04:57,229 --> 00:05:00,063 I'm teaching a class at nyu. 114 00:05:00,132 --> 00:05:02,767 That's what he Tells the old lady. 115 00:05:02,835 --> 00:05:05,068 Tell me, uh, Kotter, this class... 116 00:05:05,137 --> 00:05:06,470 Does she have a sister? 117 00:05:12,144 --> 00:05:15,045 Why is that mr. Woodman Have to be like that? 118 00:05:15,114 --> 00:05:17,948 Mr. Kotter would never Cheat on the missus. 119 00:05:18,017 --> 00:05:19,417 Yeah, who could he get? 120 00:05:22,021 --> 00:05:23,699 Look, mr. Kotter, if You need somebody 121 00:05:23,723 --> 00:05:26,023 To stop by and, uh, check Up on the wife and kids, 122 00:05:26,091 --> 00:05:28,826 Well, we'd be glad to. 123 00:05:28,894 --> 00:05:30,872 You know somethin', juan? Maybe that's not a bad idea. 124 00:05:30,896 --> 00:05:32,808 Why don't you guys check In on julie and the girls? 125 00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:34,765 Say no more, mr. Kotter. 126 00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:37,368 We won't leave your Woman alone for a minute. 127 00:05:37,437 --> 00:05:40,538 That's not exactly what I meant. 128 00:05:40,606 --> 00:05:43,073 Oh, it's okay, mr. Kotter. 129 00:05:43,142 --> 00:05:47,044 Where else does a Person like me have to go? 130 00:05:47,112 --> 00:05:48,412 Yeah. 131 00:05:53,085 --> 00:05:55,085 Hey mr. Kotter, don't Worry about nothin', huh? 132 00:05:55,154 --> 00:05:57,921 Just... Just leave a phone Number in case we drop 133 00:05:57,990 --> 00:05:59,690 One of the twins or somethin'. 134 00:06:04,930 --> 00:06:05,863 Come on, arnold, come Over and check out 135 00:06:05,931 --> 00:06:08,232 The television. 136 00:06:08,300 --> 00:06:11,602 Oh, cheryl, cheryl. 137 00:06:15,508 --> 00:06:18,242 How could you turn Down a face like this? 138 00:06:19,779 --> 00:06:21,824 Look at that guy, look at That guy with the big bazooka! 139 00:06:21,848 --> 00:06:24,081 He's goin' right after The tank all by himself. 140 00:06:24,149 --> 00:06:26,283 Ooh, man, he's got guts. 141 00:06:28,053 --> 00:06:30,488 Ooh, he do got guts. 142 00:06:32,825 --> 00:06:34,291 All over the place. 143 00:06:36,061 --> 00:06:39,397 Hey, he looks like a Waffle with a helmet on. 144 00:06:44,670 --> 00:06:46,537 Guys, please. 145 00:06:46,606 --> 00:06:48,906 Hey, hey, what are You doin' here, hey? 146 00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:53,389 Juan, do you really Expect the babies to sleep 147 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,946 Through machine gun Fire and rocket attacks? 148 00:06:56,015 --> 00:06:58,048 Well, they do at my house, 149 00:06:58,117 --> 00:07:00,150 And I don't even have a tv set. 150 00:07:04,657 --> 00:07:06,657 Okay, now I don't Want to be rude, 151 00:07:06,726 --> 00:07:08,392 But who invited you over? 152 00:07:08,461 --> 00:07:10,728 Ms. Kotter, you Ought to be grateful. 153 00:07:10,797 --> 00:07:12,963 An hour ago, this Place was a total wreck. 154 00:07:13,032 --> 00:07:16,834 That's because an hour Ago you totally wrecked it. 155 00:07:16,903 --> 00:07:19,136 But it's spotless now, ain't it? 156 00:07:19,204 --> 00:07:21,405 But that's because You have trained arnold 157 00:07:21,474 --> 00:07:24,975 To clean up after you. 158 00:07:25,044 --> 00:07:26,922 You know, sometimes you Guys really treat arnold 159 00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:29,012 Like a dog. 160 00:07:29,081 --> 00:07:31,582 Are you kiddin'? I wouldn't Treat my dog like that. 161 00:07:37,089 --> 00:07:38,923 He might get dishpan paw. 162 00:07:42,061 --> 00:07:45,362 It's all right, mrs. Kotter, I don't mind, really. 163 00:07:45,431 --> 00:07:48,398 Yeah, he's a little Horshack homemaker. 164 00:07:50,536 --> 00:07:51,580 Ah, come on, let's go. 165 00:07:51,604 --> 00:07:53,048 There ain't nothin' on tv anyway 166 00:07:53,072 --> 00:07:56,039 Except some old movie... "The ear that ate nebraska." 167 00:07:58,210 --> 00:08:00,911 Ooh, I didn't see that one yet. 168 00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:02,591 Oh yes, you did, vinnie, You checked it out, man. 169 00:08:02,615 --> 00:08:03,914 You don't remember? 170 00:08:03,983 --> 00:08:06,249 They got saved in The end by a giant q-tip. 171 00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:10,153 Well, bye. 172 00:08:10,222 --> 00:08:12,289 Yep, thanks a lot, mrs. Kotter. 173 00:08:12,358 --> 00:08:14,892 - night. - arnold, ain't you comin'? 174 00:08:14,961 --> 00:08:16,527 Oh, I'll meet ya. 175 00:08:16,596 --> 00:08:17,895 I wanna finish this. 176 00:08:17,964 --> 00:08:19,129 Oh, all right. 177 00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:24,835 Arnold, you know, I really Appreciate you staying 178 00:08:24,904 --> 00:08:27,304 And cleaning up. 179 00:08:27,373 --> 00:08:29,284 You know, I wanna do Something nice for you. 180 00:08:29,308 --> 00:08:31,219 Mr. Kotter's gonna be Gone every night this week. 181 00:08:31,243 --> 00:08:33,121 Why don't you come over One night and have dinner? 182 00:08:33,145 --> 00:08:35,145 Thank you, mrs. Kotter, you're very kind. 183 00:08:35,214 --> 00:08:36,146 Okay. 184 00:08:36,215 --> 00:08:39,082 Get my mind off of other things. 185 00:08:39,151 --> 00:08:41,284 Hey, you know, mrs. Kotter, 186 00:08:41,353 --> 00:08:44,555 This detergent really Is milder to your hands. 187 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:51,495 Good night, mrs. Kotter. 188 00:08:51,564 --> 00:08:53,630 Arnold, are you okay? 189 00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:55,232 You seem troubled. 190 00:08:55,301 --> 00:08:58,302 A man has to learn To hide his pain. 191 00:08:58,370 --> 00:09:00,537 Arnold, you're a boy. 192 00:09:00,606 --> 00:09:01,606 Oh. 193 00:09:04,209 --> 00:09:08,779 In that case, I'm miserable. 194 00:09:08,847 --> 00:09:11,014 Aw, come on, arnold, sit down. 195 00:09:11,083 --> 00:09:13,216 Let's talk about it, okay? 196 00:09:17,122 --> 00:09:19,556 Cheryl kipnus. 197 00:09:19,624 --> 00:09:20,991 Yes? 198 00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:25,461 She'd rather date a birch tree. 199 00:09:25,530 --> 00:09:28,732 She would rather Date a birch tree. 200 00:09:28,801 --> 00:09:31,334 Are we talking about a Girl here or a woodchuck? 201 00:09:32,838 --> 00:09:34,437 A girl. 202 00:09:34,506 --> 00:09:37,708 Okay, you asked cheryl Out and she said no? 203 00:09:37,776 --> 00:09:39,176 How'd you ask her out? 204 00:09:39,244 --> 00:09:41,912 How? With my mouth, how Else would I ask her out? 205 00:09:44,049 --> 00:09:45,548 Okay, arnold. 206 00:09:45,617 --> 00:09:49,219 I want you to ask me out the Same way you asked cheryl out. 207 00:09:49,287 --> 00:09:50,787 Mrs. Kotter, come on! 208 00:09:50,856 --> 00:09:52,089 Come on. 209 00:09:52,157 --> 00:09:53,523 Come on, arnold. 210 00:09:53,592 --> 00:09:56,860 Now I want you to approach me The same way you approached her. 211 00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:57,994 Come on. 212 00:09:58,063 --> 00:09:59,662 - okay. - okay. 213 00:09:59,732 --> 00:10:04,134 Uh... Uh, uh, cheryl? 214 00:10:04,203 --> 00:10:06,336 Uh, I'd like to ask You something. 215 00:10:06,404 --> 00:10:07,437 Okay. 216 00:10:07,505 --> 00:10:12,209 Uh, uh, uh, cheryl, uh... 217 00:10:12,277 --> 00:10:15,612 Would you like to, uh, to, uh... 218 00:10:15,680 --> 00:10:17,080 To what, arnold? 219 00:10:17,149 --> 00:10:19,349 Like to go out with me tonight? 220 00:10:19,417 --> 00:10:21,017 No. 221 00:10:21,086 --> 00:10:22,685 You, too, huh? 222 00:10:24,189 --> 00:10:27,490 Arnold, how can you ask a Girl out from another room? 223 00:10:27,559 --> 00:10:31,461 Well, I just didn't want to Be there when she said no. 224 00:10:31,529 --> 00:10:34,297 Arnold, you have to Be... You have to be direct. 225 00:10:34,366 --> 00:10:36,499 You've gotta be assertive. 226 00:10:36,568 --> 00:10:39,236 But you also, you've Gotta be romantic. 227 00:10:39,304 --> 00:10:40,237 Romantic? 228 00:10:40,305 --> 00:10:41,238 Yeah. 229 00:10:41,306 --> 00:10:42,239 Me? 230 00:10:42,307 --> 00:10:43,940 Arnold "Ooh, ooh" horshack? 231 00:10:45,510 --> 00:10:48,779 Yeah, you, arnold "Ooh, ooh" horshack. 232 00:10:48,847 --> 00:10:50,413 You know, arnold, one day, 233 00:10:50,482 --> 00:10:53,850 A girl's gonna open up That romantic part of you. 234 00:10:55,387 --> 00:10:58,922 And she's gonna Be a very lucky girl. 235 00:10:58,991 --> 00:11:01,424 Well, thank you, mrs. Kotter. 236 00:11:01,493 --> 00:11:03,760 You're very understanding. 237 00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:06,163 You've gotta take Chances, arnold. 238 00:11:06,231 --> 00:11:07,597 I will. 239 00:11:07,666 --> 00:11:09,811 If you want something, you've Gotta reach out and grab it. 240 00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:10,835 I will! 241 00:11:10,903 --> 00:11:12,380 Is there somethin' You want, arnold? 242 00:11:12,404 --> 00:11:14,337 My hat. 243 00:11:14,406 --> 00:11:15,272 Then reach for it. 244 00:11:15,340 --> 00:11:17,040 Pretend it's cheryl. 245 00:11:17,109 --> 00:11:18,619 - cheryl? - cheryl. 246 00:11:18,643 --> 00:11:20,877 Cheryl, could I have my hat now. 247 00:11:22,447 --> 00:11:24,714 Arnold, don't ask, reach! 248 00:11:24,783 --> 00:11:26,216 Reach! 249 00:11:26,285 --> 00:11:27,285 I did it! 250 00:11:27,319 --> 00:11:29,219 See, it was easy. 251 00:11:33,992 --> 00:11:35,203 - it was! - uh huh. 252 00:11:35,227 --> 00:11:37,660 It really, really was. 253 00:11:37,729 --> 00:11:39,062 Good night, arnold. 254 00:11:43,535 --> 00:11:47,103 Good night, julie. 255 00:11:51,710 --> 00:11:52,909 Julie? 256 00:11:54,579 --> 00:11:55,745 Julie. 257 00:11:58,550 --> 00:12:00,250 Julie horshack. 258 00:12:08,593 --> 00:12:10,727 - I don't believe it. - it's true. 259 00:12:10,795 --> 00:12:13,029 I can't... Arnold Horshack in love with me? 260 00:12:13,098 --> 00:12:14,775 That's right, he says You're the first woman 261 00:12:14,799 --> 00:12:16,466 Who ever turned him on. 262 00:12:18,737 --> 00:12:19,870 That's right. 263 00:12:19,938 --> 00:12:22,038 And we didn't even know Arnold has switches. 264 00:12:24,576 --> 00:12:26,209 Arnold and me? 265 00:12:26,278 --> 00:12:28,811 I know, it just don't Make sense, do it? 266 00:12:28,881 --> 00:12:30,458 I mean, how could Anyone fall in love 267 00:12:30,482 --> 00:12:32,482 With a person who has glasses? 268 00:12:35,020 --> 00:12:36,652 Mr. Kotter managed. 269 00:12:36,721 --> 00:12:40,523 Yeah, but he's into That mind stuff. 270 00:12:40,592 --> 00:12:42,003 You know what, boy, you Should have checked arnold out 271 00:12:42,027 --> 00:12:44,094 Today in lunch, man, He was goin' nuts, boy. 272 00:12:44,162 --> 00:12:45,740 "She loves me, she loves me not. 273 00:12:45,764 --> 00:12:47,375 She loves me, she loves me not. 274 00:12:47,399 --> 00:12:49,199 She loves me, she loves me not." 275 00:12:49,234 --> 00:12:50,444 That's the first time I ever seen the guy 276 00:12:50,468 --> 00:12:54,104 Pluck mashed potatoes. 277 00:12:54,172 --> 00:12:56,106 And then he said you touched him 278 00:12:56,174 --> 00:12:57,707 In a whole new way. 279 00:12:57,776 --> 00:12:59,187 Yeah, you know, Because most girls 280 00:12:59,211 --> 00:13:00,255 Who are involved with arnold, 281 00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:02,079 They touch him With a ten-foot pole. 282 00:13:03,882 --> 00:13:06,849 Yeah, so get this, okay? 283 00:13:06,919 --> 00:13:11,288 Arnold horshack thinks You're madly in love with him, too. 284 00:13:11,356 --> 00:13:13,356 But all we did was talk. 285 00:13:13,425 --> 00:13:17,427 Yeah, but that's the farthest Arnold ever got with a girl. 286 00:13:17,495 --> 00:13:18,962 Yeah. 287 00:13:19,031 --> 00:13:21,042 Yeah, you know, they Usually just shake his hand 288 00:13:21,066 --> 00:13:23,233 And lead him over To a quiet corner 289 00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:25,768 And just leave him there. 290 00:13:25,837 --> 00:13:27,804 But you, you had To go leadin' him on, 291 00:13:27,872 --> 00:13:29,872 Treatin' him like a Full-length person. 292 00:13:31,977 --> 00:13:33,776 Hey, look, come on, vinnie. 293 00:13:33,845 --> 00:13:36,179 Now ms. Kotter here is A happily married woman. 294 00:13:36,248 --> 00:13:38,081 Oh, come on, how happily Married could she be 295 00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:40,317 If she's foolin' Around with horshack? 296 00:13:44,022 --> 00:13:47,657 I am not interested In arnold horshack. 297 00:13:47,725 --> 00:13:50,060 Come on. 298 00:13:50,128 --> 00:13:53,330 We've all been Around the corner. 299 00:13:53,398 --> 00:13:56,099 I mean, you did invite him Over to dinner, didn't you? 300 00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:58,835 That's right, because He helped me clean up. 301 00:13:58,903 --> 00:14:00,915 Yeah, but then you Held his hand, didn't you? 302 00:14:00,939 --> 00:14:02,716 And then you put your Arm around him, didn't you? 303 00:14:02,740 --> 00:14:04,218 And then you kissed Him, didn't you? 304 00:14:04,242 --> 00:14:06,609 - yes, I kissed him. - see, I told you! 305 00:14:06,678 --> 00:14:08,778 Now he won't wash his Face for another year. 306 00:14:11,583 --> 00:14:13,683 I kissed him because He was hurting. 307 00:14:13,751 --> 00:14:16,086 I would have done the same Thing for anybody I cared about 308 00:14:16,154 --> 00:14:17,220 That was hurting. 309 00:14:25,497 --> 00:14:27,697 Guys, it's serious! 310 00:14:38,943 --> 00:14:40,054 All right, now what Are we gonna do? 311 00:14:40,078 --> 00:14:41,944 Arnold's gonna Be here in an hour. 312 00:14:42,014 --> 00:14:43,824 Oh, well, that don't give You much time to get yourself 313 00:14:43,848 --> 00:14:46,282 Fixed up, do it? 314 00:14:46,351 --> 00:14:48,851 Now look, get yourself All pretty and everything 315 00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:50,465 Because this is very Important for him. 316 00:14:50,489 --> 00:14:52,288 He even brushed his teeth. 317 00:14:54,592 --> 00:14:56,993 You know, vinnie, you better Stay away from squirrels 318 00:14:57,062 --> 00:14:59,107 Because one day one of 'em's gonna mistake your brain 319 00:14:59,131 --> 00:15:01,464 For an acorn and bury it. 320 00:15:05,637 --> 00:15:08,204 That's not very nice. 321 00:15:08,273 --> 00:15:11,408 Now look, mrs. Kotter, Arnold's just a young kid. 322 00:15:11,476 --> 00:15:14,610 He ain't even got All of his pimples yet. 323 00:15:14,679 --> 00:15:16,612 I mean, just go easy on him. 324 00:15:16,681 --> 00:15:19,182 Juan, what kind of a Woman do you think I am? 325 00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:21,384 Do we really have to Talk about that right now? 326 00:15:22,854 --> 00:15:24,020 Bye. 327 00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:25,433 All right, mrs. Kotter, all right. 328 00:15:25,457 --> 00:15:27,568 Okay, now we all know that You can handle this, all right? 329 00:15:27,592 --> 00:15:28,736 Now all you gotta Do is explain to arnold 330 00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:31,694 That he's experienced A school boy crush. 331 00:15:31,763 --> 00:15:33,963 And if that... And If that don't work, 332 00:15:34,032 --> 00:15:35,798 Do the very best next thing. 333 00:15:35,867 --> 00:15:38,535 Marry him. 334 00:15:38,603 --> 00:15:40,203 - out. - check you out. 335 00:15:41,773 --> 00:15:45,041 This experience tonight Has been a maxi-bummer. 336 00:15:54,953 --> 00:15:56,886 Julie? 337 00:15:56,955 --> 00:15:57,955 Honey, I'm leaving. 338 00:15:58,022 --> 00:15:59,255 Have a nice time. 339 00:15:59,324 --> 00:16:00,923 You, too! 340 00:16:00,992 --> 00:16:02,672 Who did you say was Coming over for dinner? 341 00:16:02,727 --> 00:16:03,926 Arnold horshack. 342 00:16:03,995 --> 00:16:05,828 Oh. 343 00:16:05,897 --> 00:16:07,657 Do you have enough handi wipes? 344 00:16:10,102 --> 00:16:11,334 Yes. 345 00:16:11,403 --> 00:16:13,403 Okay. 346 00:16:13,472 --> 00:16:14,482 See you later, baby. 347 00:16:14,506 --> 00:16:15,905 Okay, bye. 348 00:16:31,789 --> 00:16:32,822 Who is it? 349 00:16:35,793 --> 00:16:38,261 It is I, my little cupcake. 350 00:16:40,665 --> 00:16:42,565 My little apple dumpling. 351 00:16:43,701 --> 00:16:46,536 My cherry cheesecake. 352 00:16:46,605 --> 00:16:48,538 Oh, sara lee. 353 00:16:49,807 --> 00:16:52,108 No, it's arnold horshack. 354 00:16:53,445 --> 00:16:55,178 Arnold, you're an hour early. 355 00:16:55,247 --> 00:16:56,979 Dinner isn't till eight o'clock. 356 00:17:00,718 --> 00:17:01,917 I know. 357 00:17:01,986 --> 00:17:05,421 I figured why torture Her any longer? 358 00:17:05,490 --> 00:17:06,490 Here. 359 00:17:09,427 --> 00:17:10,760 How original. 360 00:17:10,828 --> 00:17:13,496 A clump of dirt. 361 00:17:13,565 --> 00:17:15,431 Oh, wait, there's More, there's more. 362 00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:17,833 Oh, good. 363 00:17:17,902 --> 00:17:19,735 I thought I'd let it breathe. 364 00:17:21,506 --> 00:17:22,539 Arnold, I'm a mess. 365 00:17:22,607 --> 00:17:23,684 My hair is soaking wet. 366 00:17:23,708 --> 00:17:25,253 I just got out of the shower. 367 00:17:25,277 --> 00:17:27,677 Oh, you've always Been such a kidder. 368 00:17:31,316 --> 00:17:33,683 Julie, julie, julie! 369 00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:38,254 What is that exquisite aroma. 370 00:17:38,323 --> 00:17:41,658 Strained carrots and succotash. 371 00:17:41,726 --> 00:17:43,893 My favorite. 372 00:17:43,961 --> 00:17:46,929 It's not for you, I Haven't fed the babies yet. 373 00:17:46,998 --> 00:17:50,966 Oh, you're always so Thoughtful as usual. 374 00:17:51,035 --> 00:17:53,536 Julie, about the children, 375 00:17:53,605 --> 00:17:56,906 I think they have a Right to know about us. 376 00:17:56,974 --> 00:17:59,509 Arnold, no. 377 00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:00,510 Right again. 378 00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:02,845 Why drag them into this? 379 00:18:02,914 --> 00:18:05,515 Is this woman ever wrong? 380 00:18:05,584 --> 00:18:06,816 Arnold, come back to earth. 381 00:18:06,884 --> 00:18:08,329 Sit down, we've gotta talk. 382 00:18:08,353 --> 00:18:09,393 It's real important. 383 00:18:09,454 --> 00:18:11,254 I understand. 384 00:18:11,323 --> 00:18:13,456 No, I'm afraid you don't. 385 00:18:13,525 --> 00:18:17,159 Listen, mrs. Kotter, julie, 386 00:18:17,229 --> 00:18:21,698 You feel... You feel Guilty about mr. Kotter. 387 00:18:21,766 --> 00:18:23,333 You needn't. 388 00:18:23,401 --> 00:18:24,534 Dump him. 389 00:18:24,603 --> 00:18:26,402 Arnold! 390 00:18:26,471 --> 00:18:28,404 Julie, julie, we're young. 391 00:18:28,473 --> 00:18:30,373 We have a right to be selfish. 392 00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:33,576 You've gotta grab all The gusto you can get. 393 00:18:39,050 --> 00:18:43,052 Arnold, no one but mr. Kotter's Allowed to grab my gusto. 394 00:18:46,124 --> 00:18:49,792 I get it, I get it, you are An old-fashioned girl. 395 00:18:49,861 --> 00:18:52,729 You wanna hear it in An old-fashioned way. 396 00:18:53,865 --> 00:18:56,065 Julie, my beloved... 397 00:18:58,202 --> 00:19:00,236 Arnold, get up. 398 00:19:01,506 --> 00:19:05,141 Arnold, I do love You, but as a friend. 399 00:19:06,811 --> 00:19:08,578 I knew that all the time. 400 00:19:10,615 --> 00:19:13,750 Arnold, would you stop That ridiculous accent? 401 00:19:13,818 --> 00:19:15,851 Now, I love you as a friend. 402 00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:17,754 It's totally different. 403 00:19:19,424 --> 00:19:22,759 But, but you said that If I wanted something, 404 00:19:22,827 --> 00:19:24,894 I should reach out and grab it. 405 00:19:24,962 --> 00:19:27,096 But I didn't mean me. 406 00:19:27,165 --> 00:19:28,498 Well, what did you mean? 407 00:19:28,566 --> 00:19:29,666 Hats? 408 00:19:29,734 --> 00:19:31,178 I'm supposed to Spend my whole life 409 00:19:31,202 --> 00:19:33,068 Reaching out for hats? 410 00:19:36,007 --> 00:19:38,185 You were the one that opened Up this romantic part of me 411 00:19:38,209 --> 00:19:40,176 In the first place. 412 00:19:40,244 --> 00:19:43,212 I know, and I'm Flattered, arnold. 413 00:19:43,281 --> 00:19:44,659 See, now you're gonna Have the courage 414 00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:47,583 To go after girls your own age, 415 00:19:47,652 --> 00:19:49,952 And stop getting Crushes on older women. 416 00:19:50,021 --> 00:19:52,655 You are an older Woman, aren't you? 417 00:19:56,027 --> 00:19:58,260 I'm not that old. 418 00:19:58,330 --> 00:20:00,162 Well, how old are you? 419 00:20:00,231 --> 00:20:01,241 What's the difference? 420 00:20:01,265 --> 00:20:04,500 I'm just curious, you know. 421 00:20:04,569 --> 00:20:06,101 I'm older than you, okay? 422 00:20:06,170 --> 00:20:08,037 Yeah, but how much older? 423 00:20:08,105 --> 00:20:09,617 What? It doesn't Make any difference 424 00:20:09,641 --> 00:20:11,140 How much older, arnold. 425 00:20:11,209 --> 00:20:14,043 Gee, when I'm still in my prime, 426 00:20:14,111 --> 00:20:16,446 You're gonna be a very old lady. 427 00:20:18,216 --> 00:20:19,982 I'm not gonna be that old. 428 00:20:20,051 --> 00:20:23,553 Oh yeah, old, old lady, sure. 429 00:20:23,621 --> 00:20:26,756 I'm gonna have to Wheel you around. 430 00:20:26,825 --> 00:20:30,793 I'm gonna have to feed you. 431 00:20:30,862 --> 00:20:33,329 Wipe the gruel off your chin. 432 00:20:36,267 --> 00:20:38,300 Hey, hey, mrs. Kotter, I'm sorry, 433 00:20:38,370 --> 00:20:42,472 But that's not the kind of life For an energetic young buck 434 00:20:42,540 --> 00:20:46,141 Such as myself. 435 00:20:46,210 --> 00:20:48,611 Sure didn't take you Long to get over me, did it? 436 00:20:53,317 --> 00:20:55,551 Oh, mrs. Kotter, I'll get that. 437 00:20:58,155 --> 00:20:59,355 Hey, what are you doing here? 438 00:20:59,424 --> 00:21:02,024 We stopped by to Pick up your remains. 439 00:21:02,093 --> 00:21:03,426 My remains? 440 00:21:03,495 --> 00:21:07,229 Yeah, after mrs. Kotter Broke your heart. 441 00:21:07,298 --> 00:21:09,399 Mrs. Kotter didn't Break my heart. 442 00:21:09,467 --> 00:21:10,533 She didn't? 443 00:21:10,602 --> 00:21:13,803 Well, she didn't Break your liver. 444 00:21:13,872 --> 00:21:15,505 Hey, listen, you guys. 445 00:21:15,573 --> 00:21:18,908 Mrs. Kotter and I have Come to an understanding. 446 00:21:20,311 --> 00:21:21,444 Hi. 447 00:21:29,487 --> 00:21:32,254 Wow. 448 00:21:34,826 --> 00:21:36,992 Will you guys stop Bein' ridiculous? 449 00:21:37,061 --> 00:21:39,762 Oh, mrs. Kotter, allow me. 450 00:21:39,831 --> 00:21:43,032 Sometimes these boys Here can be a little dense. 451 00:21:43,100 --> 00:21:44,333 Really? 452 00:21:44,402 --> 00:21:46,536 I never noticed that. 453 00:21:46,604 --> 00:21:49,739 Listen, fellas, I simply Explained to mrs. Kotter 454 00:21:49,808 --> 00:21:52,775 That an energetic young Buck such as myself 455 00:21:52,844 --> 00:21:55,445 Cannot be slowed Down by an old... 456 00:21:58,049 --> 00:22:00,249 By a middle-aged lady. 457 00:22:00,318 --> 00:22:03,319 How come you got That, uh, robe on? 458 00:22:03,387 --> 00:22:04,854 Yeah, that's right. 459 00:22:04,923 --> 00:22:07,757 Now how you gonna Explain that to mr. Kotter? 460 00:22:07,826 --> 00:22:11,260 Listen, arnold horshack has Acted with a clear conscience. 461 00:22:11,329 --> 00:22:14,330 He is afraid of nothing. 462 00:22:14,398 --> 00:22:16,298 Julie, I forgot Some of my notes... 463 00:22:35,219 --> 00:22:36,919 Julie, the wet look is out. 464 00:22:40,224 --> 00:22:41,335 What's the matter With you, arnold? 465 00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:42,603 Nothin' happened, Nothin' happened. 466 00:22:42,627 --> 00:22:43,671 I swear nothin' happened. 467 00:22:43,695 --> 00:22:44,527 I never touched her. 468 00:22:44,596 --> 00:22:45,706 I'm a good boy, don't hurt me. 469 00:22:45,730 --> 00:22:46,529 I got small bones. 470 00:22:46,598 --> 00:22:48,141 I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy! 471 00:22:48,165 --> 00:22:50,099 Goodbye. I'm a good boy! 472 00:22:51,736 --> 00:22:53,268 Relax, mr. Kotter. 473 00:22:53,337 --> 00:22:55,938 Nothin' really happened. 474 00:22:56,007 --> 00:22:58,774 At least, uh, that's What he told us. 475 00:23:02,246 --> 00:23:04,780 You really oughta buy Your wife a new bathrobe. 476 00:23:09,487 --> 00:23:12,154 I don't suppose I should ask You what went on here tonight. 477 00:23:12,223 --> 00:23:13,923 Nah. 478 00:23:13,992 --> 00:23:15,491 I didn't think so. 479 00:23:23,801 --> 00:23:25,234 Why don't you tell me anyway? 480 00:23:25,302 --> 00:23:27,737 Well, you see, first There was this girl 481 00:23:27,805 --> 00:23:29,282 Who would rather Date a birch tree, 482 00:23:29,306 --> 00:23:31,774 And then he was Rejected by a woodchuck. 483 00:23:31,843 --> 00:23:34,109 Then he suddenly turned Into either charles boyer 484 00:23:34,178 --> 00:23:36,012 Or cary grant, I'm Not sure which one. 485 00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:38,347 - then he came... - all right, all right. 486 00:23:38,416 --> 00:23:40,716 Save it, we'll have something To talk about tonight. 487 00:23:44,488 --> 00:23:45,421 What is this? 488 00:23:45,489 --> 00:23:47,489 Oh, arnold brought That for dinner. 489 00:23:47,559 --> 00:23:49,003 I don't know how many Times I've told him... 490 00:23:49,027 --> 00:23:50,726 It's red wine with dirt. 491 00:24:00,705 --> 00:24:04,006 My uncle william Was a pharmacist. 492 00:24:04,075 --> 00:24:06,341 - but he got fired. - he did? 493 00:24:06,410 --> 00:24:07,988 Yeah, they fired him When he was typing out 494 00:24:08,012 --> 00:24:09,389 The directions on the labels. 495 00:24:09,413 --> 00:24:10,891 Why'd they fire him for that? 496 00:24:10,915 --> 00:24:12,059 Well, he kept trying To fit the bottles 497 00:24:12,083 --> 00:24:13,449 Into the typewriter. 498 00:24:18,723 --> 00:24:24,594 ♪ 499 00:24:26,664 --> 00:24:29,364 ♪ welcome back ♪ 500 00:24:29,433 --> 00:24:33,168 ♪ your dreams were Your ticket out ♪ 501 00:24:33,237 --> 00:24:35,337 ♪ welcome back ♪ 502 00:24:35,406 --> 00:24:40,142 ♪ to that same old place That you laughed about ♪ 503 00:24:40,211 --> 00:24:42,344 ♪ well the names Have all changed 504 00:24:42,413 --> 00:24:44,513 Since you hung around ♪ 505 00:24:44,582 --> 00:24:46,749 ♪ but those dreams have remained 506 00:24:46,818 --> 00:24:48,951 And they've turned around ♪ 507 00:24:49,020 --> 00:24:51,020 ♪ who'd have thought They'd lead you ♪ 508 00:24:51,089 --> 00:24:53,055 ♪ who'd have thought They'd lead you ♪ 509 00:24:53,124 --> 00:24:55,024 ♪ back here where we need ya ♪ 510 00:24:55,093 --> 00:24:57,259 ♪ back here where we need ya ♪ 511 00:24:57,328 --> 00:24:59,261 ♪ yeah we tease him a lot 512 00:24:59,330 --> 00:25:01,330 'cause we got him on the spot ♪ 513 00:25:01,398 --> 00:25:03,432 ♪ welcome back ♪♪ 36070

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