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1
00:00:02,135 --> 00:00:04,735
My uncle magnanovich kotter?
2
00:00:04,804 --> 00:00:05,970
Magnanovich?
3
00:00:06,039 --> 00:00:07,138
Yes, he was my uncle.
4
00:00:07,207 --> 00:00:08,550
One time he reads
This ad in the paper,
5
00:00:08,574 --> 00:00:09,986
"Construction workers wanted
6
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,575
150 miles out of town."
7
00:00:11,644 --> 00:00:12,888
He goes there, gets the job.
8
00:00:12,912 --> 00:00:14,090
Week later, he wires back,
9
00:00:14,114 --> 00:00:16,147
"Sylvia"...That's my
Aunt's name..."Sylvia,
10
00:00:16,216 --> 00:00:18,060
I've gotten job,
And you know what,
11
00:00:18,084 --> 00:00:19,862
I've been promoted to foreman,
12
00:00:19,886 --> 00:00:21,285
A feather in my cap."
13
00:00:21,354 --> 00:00:22,531
- terrific, huh?
- that's terrific.
14
00:00:22,555 --> 00:00:23,787
But that's not over yet.
15
00:00:23,856 --> 00:00:25,734
Two weeks later,
He wires, "Sylvia,
16
00:00:25,758 --> 00:00:29,894
I've been promoted to manager,
Another feather in my cap."
17
00:00:29,962 --> 00:00:31,295
Outstanding, right?
18
00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:33,297
Outstanding, but not over yet.
19
00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:34,298
Not over yet, no.
20
00:00:34,367 --> 00:00:35,844
Three weeks
Later, he wires back,
21
00:00:35,868 --> 00:00:38,403
"Sylvia, I've made
Vice president,
22
00:00:38,471 --> 00:00:40,104
Another feather in my cap."
23
00:00:40,173 --> 00:00:42,507
He was doing great.
24
00:00:42,575 --> 00:00:44,487
- what a guy, wasn't he?
- what a guy.
25
00:00:44,511 --> 00:00:46,088
Except two weeks
After that, he wires,
26
00:00:46,112 --> 00:00:47,912
"Sylvia, I've been fired.
27
00:00:47,980 --> 00:00:50,381
Send money so I can
Take the train home."
28
00:00:50,450 --> 00:00:51,916
Sylvia wires back,
29
00:00:51,984 --> 00:00:57,522
"Use all your
Feathers and fly home."
30
00:00:57,590 --> 00:01:03,461
♪
31
00:01:05,465 --> 00:01:08,132
♪ welcome back ♪
32
00:01:08,201 --> 00:01:12,002
♪ your dreams were
Your ticket out ♪
33
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,205
♪ welcome back ♪
34
00:01:14,274 --> 00:01:18,876
♪ to that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
35
00:01:18,945 --> 00:01:21,079
♪ well the names
Have all changed
36
00:01:21,147 --> 00:01:23,347
Since you hung around ♪
37
00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:25,516
♪ but those dreams have remained
38
00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:27,785
And they've turned around ♪
39
00:01:27,853 --> 00:01:29,853
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
40
00:01:29,922 --> 00:01:31,867
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
41
00:01:31,891 --> 00:01:33,857
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
42
00:01:33,926 --> 00:01:36,094
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
43
00:01:36,162 --> 00:01:38,062
♪ yeah, we tease him a lot
44
00:01:38,131 --> 00:01:40,331
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
45
00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:42,400
♪ welcome back ♪
46
00:01:42,469 --> 00:01:48,072
♪ welcome back, welcome
Back, welcome back ♪♪
47
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:56,614
♪
48
00:01:58,884 --> 00:02:00,463
Go on, arnold, go on,
Man, you can handle it.
49
00:02:00,487 --> 00:02:01,597
Deal... Just deal with it.
50
00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:03,466
Mind over matter, go
Ahead, bend that spoon.
51
00:02:03,490 --> 00:02:04,555
Go ahead, bend that.
52
00:02:06,226 --> 00:02:08,170
Oh, something's happening,
Something's happening!
53
00:02:08,194 --> 00:02:09,238
Something is
Definitely happenin'!
54
00:02:09,262 --> 00:02:10,194
What, what, what?
55
00:02:10,263 --> 00:02:12,497
I think you just
Shrunk my shorts.
56
00:02:14,334 --> 00:02:15,399
Get bent.
57
00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:17,901
Get bent!
58
00:02:17,970 --> 00:02:21,172
Mind over matter.
59
00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:23,174
Get bent.
60
00:02:27,113 --> 00:02:28,946
There you go, arnold.
61
00:02:29,015 --> 00:02:30,481
Hey, that's even better.
62
00:02:30,550 --> 00:02:32,183
Epstein over matter.
63
00:02:33,919 --> 00:02:35,253
Morning.
64
00:02:43,729 --> 00:02:45,241
Arnold, have you had
Some of my mother's
65
00:02:45,265 --> 00:02:47,931
Matzah ball soup?
66
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:49,667
Mr. Kotter.
67
00:02:49,735 --> 00:02:52,703
Speaking about, uh,
Speaking about matzah balls,
68
00:02:52,772 --> 00:02:53,837
Where's barbarino?
69
00:02:53,906 --> 00:02:56,607
Uh, his family
Took him to jersey.
70
00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:59,943
Why, was he being punished?
71
00:03:00,012 --> 00:03:02,046
Nah, nah, his cousin
Had an accident.
72
00:03:02,114 --> 00:03:03,648
Oh, wow, in a car?
73
00:03:03,716 --> 00:03:06,984
Well, I don't know, but
Vinnie's gonna be the best man.
74
00:03:09,722 --> 00:03:11,233
All right, enough about that.
75
00:03:11,257 --> 00:03:14,258
Today I'd like to talk about
Pre-columbian exploration.
76
00:03:14,327 --> 00:03:16,527
Now open your books
And no interruptions.
77
00:03:16,596 --> 00:03:18,307
- I think we should...
- delighted to interrupt.
78
00:03:18,331 --> 00:03:21,131
Kotter, I have
Great news for you.
79
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,434
What, your pet
Scorpion had a litter?
80
00:03:25,672 --> 00:03:27,071
Very funny, kotter.
81
00:03:27,139 --> 00:03:30,874
Today is the day buchanan
Enters the computer age.
82
00:03:30,943 --> 00:03:32,454
Oh, that's right.
Ladies and gentlemen,
83
00:03:32,478 --> 00:03:34,512
We have a big
Surprise for you today.
84
00:03:34,581 --> 00:03:36,414
Okay, you can bring it in.
85
00:03:41,521 --> 00:03:43,120
Thank you, miss schwartz.
86
00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:49,560
♪ da-da-da-dum ♪
87
00:03:51,063 --> 00:03:53,531
Here it is, greatest
Educational advance
88
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:54,798
In 50 years.
89
00:03:54,867 --> 00:03:57,501
Hey, um, does that
Thing get soul train?
90
00:04:00,906 --> 00:04:02,707
Of course not.
91
00:04:02,775 --> 00:04:05,075
It's a highly experimental
Computer terminal
92
00:04:05,144 --> 00:04:06,877
Loaned to us by the university.
93
00:04:06,946 --> 00:04:08,379
You people should feel honored.
94
00:04:08,448 --> 00:04:10,092
The university searched
For three months
95
00:04:10,116 --> 00:04:12,461
To find exactly the right
Class to try out this computer.
96
00:04:12,485 --> 00:04:14,730
Yeah, and if it works here,
We're gonna take it up a step
97
00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:17,755
And try it on some chimps.
98
00:04:19,459 --> 00:04:22,627
Settle down, settle down,
You get no bananas for lunch.
99
00:04:25,030 --> 00:04:27,598
♪ yes, you get no
Bananas for lunch
100
00:04:27,667 --> 00:04:29,700
Or for dinner today ♪
101
00:04:29,769 --> 00:04:31,335
♪ you get scallions and onions ♪
102
00:04:31,404 --> 00:04:34,004
And that's enough of that, okay.
103
00:04:34,073 --> 00:04:36,807
Now, this is what
You call a terminal.
104
00:04:36,876 --> 00:04:39,443
Terminal. It is hooked
Up to a computer.
105
00:04:39,512 --> 00:04:41,545
Now, in order to
Activate the computer,
106
00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:43,559
I have to give it a
Message in code.
107
00:04:43,583 --> 00:04:46,183
Oh, code!
108
00:04:46,252 --> 00:04:50,521
Like, "It's snowing in berlin."
109
00:04:53,025 --> 00:04:56,560
So move to miami.
110
00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:58,507
No, the password
That this computer
111
00:04:58,531 --> 00:05:01,198
Is supposed to
Recognize is "Mr. Kotter."
112
00:05:01,267 --> 00:05:03,567
Let's try it.
113
00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:04,835
Turn it on.
114
00:05:07,072 --> 00:05:10,408
"Mr... T-t-e-r."
115
00:05:12,412 --> 00:05:15,780
Mr. Kotter, you
Have been recognized.
116
00:05:15,848 --> 00:05:17,114
Oh, wow!
117
00:05:17,183 --> 00:05:18,349
Oh, that's pretty cool.
118
00:05:18,418 --> 00:05:19,550
Wow.
119
00:05:19,619 --> 00:05:21,985
How'd you do that
Without movin' your lips?
120
00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:26,817
It wasn't me, epstein,
That was the computer.
121
00:05:26,859 --> 00:05:30,260
Well, drink a glass of
Water and see if it talks then.
122
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:33,597
Okay, now watch. I'm gonna
Program it for data information.
123
00:05:40,172 --> 00:05:43,273
What information do you require?
124
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:46,243
Ooh, ooh, ooh,
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
125
00:05:48,581 --> 00:05:51,349
I got a question
For the computer.
126
00:05:51,417 --> 00:05:52,350
What, arnold?
127
00:05:52,418 --> 00:05:54,184
Can I go to the bathroom?
128
00:05:58,023 --> 00:06:00,991
Arnold, there are some questions
The computer can't handle.
129
00:06:01,060 --> 00:06:04,695
Now, do you really have
To go to the bathroom?
130
00:06:04,764 --> 00:06:07,598
Well, not that I know
Of, but you never know
131
00:06:07,667 --> 00:06:09,800
When nature will
Ring its little bell.
132
00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:11,935
Ding!
133
00:06:12,004 --> 00:06:13,649
All right, now today,
We're supposed to learn
134
00:06:13,673 --> 00:06:15,473
About pre-columbian exploration.
135
00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:17,553
Now, does anybody
Have a question on that?
136
00:06:17,577 --> 00:06:19,677
Yeah, me.
137
00:06:19,746 --> 00:06:21,311
Well, what is it?
138
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:24,114
That's my question, what is it?
139
00:06:24,183 --> 00:06:25,949
Okay, let's find out.
140
00:06:26,018 --> 00:06:29,820
American history, pre...
141
00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:32,289
Columbian exploration.
142
00:06:34,494 --> 00:06:38,496
In 986, the first norse
Colony was established
143
00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:41,965
On the coast of
Greenland by erik the red.
144
00:06:45,538 --> 00:06:46,538
Erik the red?
145
00:06:46,606 --> 00:06:48,149
That's right, and
That was 1200 years
146
00:06:48,173 --> 00:06:50,307
Before james the
Brown, slappy the white,
147
00:06:50,376 --> 00:06:53,243
And shecky the greene.
148
00:06:53,312 --> 00:06:54,790
Yeah, that's pretty
Good. Eh, let's check it out,
149
00:06:54,814 --> 00:06:56,157
Let's see what that
Machine thinks about that,
150
00:06:56,181 --> 00:06:57,848
Mr. Kotter.
151
00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:59,983
All right.
152
00:07:00,052 --> 00:07:04,655
"James the... Brown."
153
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,258
Not funny.
154
00:07:15,468 --> 00:07:18,669
Okay, robin, plane
Taking off for omaha,
155
00:07:18,738 --> 00:07:21,104
Kansas city, and detroit.
156
00:07:21,173 --> 00:07:22,651
Open the hangar, here it comes.
157
00:07:27,346 --> 00:07:30,147
Good girl, good girl.
158
00:07:30,215 --> 00:07:31,460
- there you go.
- honey?
159
00:07:31,484 --> 00:07:33,884
Rachel's asleep,
How's robin doin'?
160
00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:36,520
She's gonna be fine
Just as soon as we land
161
00:07:36,589 --> 00:07:38,489
In bombay.
162
00:07:38,558 --> 00:07:40,591
We're goin' all
The way to bombay.
163
00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:44,127
Bombay plane coming
In, bombay plane.
164
00:07:44,196 --> 00:07:46,007
Come on, what's the matter,
You don't like the movie?
165
00:07:46,031 --> 00:07:49,433
Come on, open up, one more,
One more, robin, one more.
166
00:07:49,502 --> 00:07:52,436
That's great, honey, she
Usually hates strained bananas.
167
00:07:52,505 --> 00:07:54,404
That's how they
Got on the walls.
168
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:55,984
Well, they've done
Somethin' with this.
169
00:07:56,008 --> 00:07:57,407
Says "New and improved."
170
00:07:57,477 --> 00:08:00,845
Yeah, the probably
Left out the bananas.
171
00:08:00,913 --> 00:08:02,190
You know, it's great to see you
172
00:08:02,214 --> 00:08:03,592
Spending more time
With the girls, honey.
173
00:08:03,616 --> 00:08:06,484
Usually now you're
Preparing tomorrow's lesson.
174
00:08:06,552 --> 00:08:08,953
Come on, baby, come on, baby.
175
00:08:09,021 --> 00:08:10,466
I don't have to do
That now, honey.
176
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:11,822
The computer does that.
177
00:08:11,891 --> 00:08:15,258
Oh? Well, what
About grading papers?
178
00:08:15,327 --> 00:08:17,795
The computer does that, too.
179
00:08:17,864 --> 00:08:19,429
Marking tests?
180
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,031
Computer.
181
00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:23,367
So who needs you?
182
00:08:23,435 --> 00:08:25,113
I was hoping that you did.
183
00:08:25,137 --> 00:08:28,138
- oh, well, that depends.
- on what?
184
00:08:28,207 --> 00:08:30,508
Depends on how
Tall the computer is.
185
00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:33,922
Isn't your mommy
A funny lady, robin?
186
00:08:33,946 --> 00:08:34,946
Isn't she funny?
187
00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:36,146
Look, say "Funny mommy,"
188
00:08:36,215 --> 00:08:37,993
Stick your tongue
Out at her, that's good.
189
00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:39,517
Say goodnight to your daddy.
190
00:08:39,585 --> 00:08:41,363
- come on.
- goodnight, robin.
191
00:08:41,387 --> 00:08:42,764
- go to mama.
- say goodnight to daddy.
192
00:08:42,788 --> 00:08:44,087
Aw.
193
00:08:44,156 --> 00:08:45,288
Say "Goodnight, daddy."
194
00:08:45,357 --> 00:08:46,456
Goodnight, daddy!
195
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,125
Bye bye.
196
00:08:51,230 --> 00:08:53,797
You know, honey, that
Computer's really terrific.
197
00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:56,366
The kids love it and it
Makes my job a lot easier.
198
00:08:56,435 --> 00:08:58,502
But, uh, what do you do now?
199
00:08:58,571 --> 00:08:59,715
- what do I do now?
- yeah.
200
00:08:59,739 --> 00:09:02,472
I turn on the computer.
201
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:03,707
That's it?
202
00:09:03,776 --> 00:09:06,644
No. At 12 o'clock I turn it off,
203
00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:09,379
And at one o'clock, I
Turn it back on again.
204
00:09:09,448 --> 00:09:11,415
Oh, that's just great, honey.
205
00:09:11,483 --> 00:09:12,995
It gives you all
Sorts of free time
206
00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:15,786
To fix things around here.
207
00:09:15,855 --> 00:09:17,922
Yeah, well, I'll be
Happy to fix anything.
208
00:09:17,990 --> 00:09:19,234
You know, I can't
Remember the last time
209
00:09:19,258 --> 00:09:21,759
I had so much free time.
210
00:09:21,827 --> 00:09:23,928
I can.
211
00:09:23,996 --> 00:09:25,674
Really? What happened?
212
00:09:25,698 --> 00:09:27,297
We had twins.
213
00:09:30,335 --> 00:09:33,804
Major generals sir william
Howe, sir henry clinton,
214
00:09:33,873 --> 00:09:36,574
And john burgoyne
Arrived may 25th
215
00:09:36,642 --> 00:09:38,508
To assist gage.
216
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,111
Hey, that machine, it's
Really pretty smart.
217
00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:42,012
Oh yeah?
218
00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:43,191
Well, my uncle's got somethin'
219
00:09:43,215 --> 00:09:45,282
Even smarter than that.
220
00:09:45,350 --> 00:09:46,917
Well, what's it called?
221
00:09:46,986 --> 00:09:48,318
My aunt.
222
00:09:54,426 --> 00:09:55,938
Did you guys know that
Gage was the first general...
223
00:09:55,962 --> 00:09:58,896
Shh! Come on, you're
Wreckin' the recording here.
224
00:09:58,965 --> 00:10:00,397
Be cool, baby.
225
00:10:04,369 --> 00:10:07,905
Oh, incredible strategy, oh!
226
00:10:11,510 --> 00:10:13,543
"Incredible strategy!"
227
00:10:16,348 --> 00:10:17,926
I mean, what's the big
Deal about all this stuff?
228
00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:19,861
I taught this to
You two months ago.
229
00:10:19,885 --> 00:10:23,954
Mr. Kotter, this is a key.
230
00:10:28,761 --> 00:10:30,005
Now don't you got nothin' to do?
231
00:10:30,029 --> 00:10:31,940
Can't you see we're
Busy here learnin'?
232
00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:33,308
- yeah.
- I got plenty to do.
233
00:10:33,332 --> 00:10:35,899
There's over 300
Ways to play solitaire.
234
00:10:42,608 --> 00:10:45,075
Solitaire, kotter?
235
00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:47,111
You run out of play-doh?
236
00:10:50,916 --> 00:10:52,315
Hey, come on!
237
00:10:53,686 --> 00:10:55,719
Wait a minute, wait a minute!
238
00:10:55,788 --> 00:10:59,857
I have exciting news.
239
00:10:59,925 --> 00:11:01,424
Look at this.
240
00:11:04,329 --> 00:11:07,031
Hey, look at that.
241
00:11:07,099 --> 00:11:12,202
Mr. Woodman learned
To color inside the lines.
242
00:11:15,741 --> 00:11:17,708
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
243
00:11:17,777 --> 00:11:20,510
And tomorrow we gonna
Let you color a horsy.
244
00:11:22,648 --> 00:11:26,083
I am trying to tell you nerds
That the grades of everyone
245
00:11:26,152 --> 00:11:28,385
In this room have
Gone up dramatically.
246
00:11:28,453 --> 00:11:30,287
Do you know what it means?
247
00:11:30,355 --> 00:11:32,690
Yeah, it means you're
In the wrong room.
248
00:11:32,758 --> 00:11:34,803
Now turn on the machine,
Turn on the machine!
249
00:11:34,827 --> 00:11:36,872
It means, it means, it
Means I'm gonna look great.
250
00:11:36,896 --> 00:11:37,928
It was all my idea.
251
00:11:37,997 --> 00:11:39,963
They'll definitely
Make me principal.
252
00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:41,464
Oh yeah?
253
00:11:41,533 --> 00:11:45,335
Well, what about
Principal lazarus.
254
00:11:45,404 --> 00:11:48,338
He's an old guy.
255
00:11:48,407 --> 00:11:50,841
Can I see that, mr. Woodman?
256
00:11:50,910 --> 00:11:52,009
You're right.
257
00:11:52,078 --> 00:11:53,288
By bringing this
Computer in here,
258
00:11:53,312 --> 00:11:54,878
You did a great thing.
259
00:11:54,947 --> 00:11:57,581
Your averages are over 75.
260
00:11:57,649 --> 00:11:58,682
Congratulations.
261
00:11:58,751 --> 00:12:00,461
- you're a genius.
- you're a genius.
262
00:12:00,485 --> 00:12:02,920
- you're a genius.
- yes.
263
00:12:02,988 --> 00:12:04,922
Face it, kotter.
264
00:12:04,990 --> 00:12:07,024
You're out of date.
265
00:12:07,093 --> 00:12:11,628
You're a desoto in
A world of datsuns.
266
00:12:11,697 --> 00:12:13,274
Come on, turn the
Machine back on.
267
00:12:13,298 --> 00:12:14,464
Come on!
268
00:12:14,533 --> 00:12:15,610
I wanna hear the machine.
269
00:12:15,634 --> 00:12:16,800
I wanna hear the machine.
270
00:12:19,839 --> 00:12:23,640
The redoubt was
Garrisoned by 1,600 men
271
00:12:23,709 --> 00:12:24,709
With six cannons...
272
00:12:25,845 --> 00:12:27,589
Sally, sally, sally, sally,
273
00:12:27,613 --> 00:12:28,979
Sally, sally, sally...
274
00:12:29,048 --> 00:12:31,414
Just a second, oliver.
275
00:12:31,483 --> 00:12:33,228
You know, honey, you
Should not be so upset
276
00:12:33,252 --> 00:12:34,384
About that computer.
277
00:12:34,453 --> 00:12:36,120
It's only temporary.
278
00:12:36,188 --> 00:12:40,423
Yeah, that's what woodrow
Wilson said about income tax.
279
00:12:40,492 --> 00:12:43,026
You know what bothers
Me the most, honey?
280
00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:45,028
Teaching just isn't fun anymore.
281
00:12:45,097 --> 00:12:47,142
Well, that's because you
Are letting the computer
282
00:12:47,166 --> 00:12:48,398
Program you.
283
00:12:48,467 --> 00:12:50,645
You are the one who's
Supposed to push the buttons.
284
00:12:50,669 --> 00:12:53,771
I can't help it, j... Where's
The salad dressing?
285
00:12:53,839 --> 00:12:55,217
Oh, I'm sorry, I
Forgot it, honey.
286
00:12:55,241 --> 00:12:57,252
- what kind do you want?
- any kind, doesn't matter.
287
00:12:57,276 --> 00:12:59,810
I can't help it, I feel like
The computer's the meat
288
00:12:59,879 --> 00:13:01,645
And I'm the hamburger helper.
289
00:13:01,713 --> 00:13:03,647
Oh, gabe.
290
00:13:07,486 --> 00:13:09,526
I'm sorry, honey, I
Don't like this kind.
291
00:13:11,490 --> 00:13:14,124
Well, what kind do
You want, honey?
292
00:13:14,193 --> 00:13:16,493
Any kind beside this.
293
00:13:21,533 --> 00:13:22,632
I'm sorry, you know...
294
00:13:22,701 --> 00:13:24,012
I know, honey, it's okay,
295
00:13:24,036 --> 00:13:26,303
Don't worry about it.
296
00:13:26,371 --> 00:13:28,005
There you go, sweetie.
297
00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:37,514
Not on your life.
298
00:13:37,582 --> 00:13:39,427
Be fine, it'll be fine. I
Always like dressing
299
00:13:39,451 --> 00:13:42,052
That's four months old.
300
00:13:42,121 --> 00:13:43,220
Two.
301
00:13:43,289 --> 00:13:45,388
Look, honey, it's only a toy.
302
00:13:45,457 --> 00:13:47,169
The kids will get bored with it.
303
00:13:47,193 --> 00:13:48,536
I think they are
Getting tired of it.
304
00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:49,737
This afternoon I
Caught washington
305
00:13:49,761 --> 00:13:52,696
Trying to make it play pong.
306
00:13:52,764 --> 00:13:54,764
You're kidding?
307
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:55,765
Kidding?
308
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:58,001
I am not programmed for kidding.
309
00:13:58,070 --> 00:14:01,138
I am only programmed
For joshing.
310
00:14:01,207 --> 00:14:02,372
Joshing?
311
00:14:02,441 --> 00:14:05,375
Did I ever tell you
About my uncle josh?
312
00:14:05,444 --> 00:14:08,111
He was a model 324x0.
313
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:10,458
One time this pretty computer
Program trainee came in
314
00:14:10,482 --> 00:14:12,393
And started to
Punch his buttons.
315
00:14:12,417 --> 00:14:13,851
He said, "Hey, wait a second.
316
00:14:13,919 --> 00:14:15,919
Take me out a few times first."
317
00:14:20,592 --> 00:14:24,962
On february 26th...
Hey, baby, deal.
318
00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:28,765
Military supplies but were
Turned back without violence
319
00:14:28,834 --> 00:14:30,033
On marched 23rd...
320
00:14:30,102 --> 00:14:32,535
All right, freddie, the truth.
321
00:14:32,604 --> 00:14:34,804
I think you're bluffing.
322
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,106
Oh yeah?
323
00:14:36,175 --> 00:14:37,807
Go fish.
324
00:14:39,611 --> 00:14:41,245
Good morning.
325
00:14:45,351 --> 00:14:46,631
Excuse me, uh, for interrupting,
326
00:14:46,685 --> 00:14:49,219
But isn't anybody
Listening to the computer?
327
00:14:49,288 --> 00:14:51,355
No.
328
00:14:51,423 --> 00:14:52,956
Sit down.
329
00:14:59,265 --> 00:15:02,565
Epstein, what's the
Computer been talking about?
330
00:15:02,634 --> 00:15:04,167
Paul revere's ride.
331
00:15:06,571 --> 00:15:09,839
That's amazing, you can hear
Things when you're sleeping.
332
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,875
What do you think
Put me to sleep?
333
00:15:14,046 --> 00:15:16,024
Mr. Kotter, for an hour
That thing's been doin' nothin'
334
00:15:16,048 --> 00:15:18,648
But talkin' about
Paul revere's ride.
335
00:15:18,717 --> 00:15:20,550
I mean, what's the big deal?
336
00:15:20,619 --> 00:15:23,620
It's just a story about
A man and his horse.
337
00:15:23,688 --> 00:15:25,666
Actually, do you know
That there were two men?
338
00:15:25,690 --> 00:15:27,702
William dawes rode
Along with paul revere?
339
00:15:27,726 --> 00:15:31,995
Gee, that's really cheap.
340
00:15:32,064 --> 00:15:34,064
Two men on a horse.
341
00:15:35,834 --> 00:15:38,101
Hey, um, mr. Kotter,
I... I didn't know
342
00:15:38,170 --> 00:15:39,970
That paul revere had a partner.
343
00:15:40,039 --> 00:15:41,950
Well, not too many
People do, freddie.
344
00:15:41,974 --> 00:15:43,684
You see, william dawes
Was like a regular guy,
345
00:15:43,708 --> 00:15:45,075
He wasn't a show-off.
346
00:15:45,144 --> 00:15:46,888
So when they rode
Into town, he said,
347
00:15:46,912 --> 00:15:48,589
"Go ahead, paul, you tell 'em."
348
00:15:52,217 --> 00:15:53,361
Anyway, I think it's important
349
00:15:53,385 --> 00:15:54,595
That you learn
About william dawes,
350
00:15:54,619 --> 00:15:55,931
Because there's a lot
Of people in history
351
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:57,520
That don't...
352
00:16:01,260 --> 00:16:03,560
I thought so, kotter.
353
00:16:03,628 --> 00:16:06,563
Back to your old
Tricks... Teaching.
354
00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:16,251
Mr. Woodman, I think the
Guys are getting a little tired
355
00:16:16,275 --> 00:16:17,674
Of this computer.
356
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,046
Nonsense.
357
00:16:23,115 --> 00:16:24,647
They love it.
358
00:16:24,716 --> 00:16:27,217
Machines aren't boring,
People are boring.
359
00:16:28,753 --> 00:16:31,099
Good afternoon, everybody,
And welcome to our new show,
360
00:16:31,123 --> 00:16:33,857
"People are boring!"
361
00:16:33,925 --> 00:16:37,760
And here's our
New host, al doe...
362
00:16:42,634 --> 00:16:45,469
America's favorite bore.
363
00:16:49,274 --> 00:16:53,443
Not gonna spoil my day,
'cause I have great news.
364
00:16:53,512 --> 00:16:54,911
Oh?
365
00:16:57,116 --> 00:16:59,082
You ran over benji?
366
00:17:01,987 --> 00:17:04,021
Better!
367
00:17:04,089 --> 00:17:05,933
The university has
Offered us the computer
368
00:17:05,957 --> 00:17:07,357
For the rest of the semester.
369
00:17:07,426 --> 00:17:09,226
Oh, man!
370
00:17:09,294 --> 00:17:13,030
All right, all right, all
Right, cork it, clowns.
371
00:17:13,098 --> 00:17:17,401
Mr. Jan of the school board is
Coming by tomorrow to decide.
372
00:17:17,469 --> 00:17:22,005
Kotter, this machine
Is my ticket to the top,
373
00:17:22,074 --> 00:17:24,141
And nothing better go wrong.
374
00:17:26,845 --> 00:17:29,046
What could go wrong?
375
00:17:29,114 --> 00:17:30,825
That's the same thing
General custer said
376
00:17:30,849 --> 00:17:32,949
The night before little bighorn.
377
00:17:36,988 --> 00:17:38,922
Think that'll do it, freddie?
378
00:17:38,990 --> 00:17:40,190
Are you kiddin'?
379
00:17:40,259 --> 00:17:43,826
It worked on mission impossible.
380
00:17:43,895 --> 00:17:44,827
Got it covered.
381
00:17:44,896 --> 00:17:46,041
Hey, they're coming,
They're coming.
382
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:48,165
Shh, shh, you all
Know what to do.
383
00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:50,300
Okay.
384
00:17:50,369 --> 00:17:51,746
Good morning, good
Morning, everybody.
385
00:17:51,770 --> 00:17:54,637
You all remember mr. Jan
From the school board.
386
00:17:54,706 --> 00:17:58,175
Hello mr. Jan from
The school board.
387
00:18:01,346 --> 00:18:04,548
I, uh, I was just telling
Mr. Jan that only last week
388
00:18:04,616 --> 00:18:07,984
This class was stupid.
389
00:18:08,053 --> 00:18:10,687
Thanks a lot, mr. Woodman.
390
00:18:10,755 --> 00:18:13,223
Mr. Kotter, as you know,
We have the opportunity
391
00:18:13,292 --> 00:18:15,858
To use this machine
For another semester.
392
00:18:18,830 --> 00:18:21,565
Well, mr. Kotter, I'd like
To see a demonstration.
393
00:18:21,633 --> 00:18:23,900
Before I do that, I
Would like to say
394
00:18:23,969 --> 00:18:26,236
I think this machine
Can help as an aid,
395
00:18:26,305 --> 00:18:27,648
But what's happening
Here is the machine...
396
00:18:27,672 --> 00:18:29,084
Cork it, kotter, turn it on.
397
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:31,341
Chop, chop, no offense, mr. Jan.
398
00:18:35,714 --> 00:18:37,892
Hey mr. Kotter, maybe you
Ought not turn that on...
399
00:18:37,916 --> 00:18:39,149
Ah, nah, it's okay.
400
00:18:39,218 --> 00:18:40,418
Go ahead, turn it on, kotter.
401
00:18:40,486 --> 00:18:43,019
It's okay, go ahead,
Turn it on, go ahead.
402
00:18:47,726 --> 00:18:49,370
All right, any
Particular subject?
403
00:18:49,394 --> 00:18:51,794
Mm, how about the
Battle of waterloo?
404
00:18:51,863 --> 00:18:53,029
Okay.
405
00:18:53,098 --> 00:19:00,303
European history,
Battle of... Waterloo.
406
00:19:01,940 --> 00:19:03,440
Now wait till you hear this.
407
00:19:03,509 --> 00:19:06,543
The battle of waterloo
Was fought in 1850.
408
00:19:06,612 --> 00:19:07,612
You see?
409
00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:08,745
The duke of wellington
410
00:19:08,813 --> 00:19:10,547
Commanded the allied forces,
411
00:19:10,616 --> 00:19:12,949
Which included
England, austria, prussia,
412
00:19:13,018 --> 00:19:14,951
And the harlem globetrotters.
413
00:19:15,020 --> 00:19:16,085
What?
414
00:19:18,056 --> 00:19:21,658
They all banded forces to
Fight the armies of napoleon,
415
00:19:21,726 --> 00:19:23,471
Julie andrews, and the muppets.
416
00:19:30,235 --> 00:19:34,371
Mr. Woodman, you better
Have an explanation for this.
417
00:19:34,439 --> 00:19:35,672
I do.
418
00:19:35,740 --> 00:19:37,541
He did it.
419
00:19:37,609 --> 00:19:40,910
Him and his punks,
They ruined my machine.
420
00:19:40,979 --> 00:19:42,979
You can't prove nothin'!
421
00:19:45,450 --> 00:19:47,350
All right, cork it, epstein.
422
00:19:47,419 --> 00:19:51,087
Mr. Jan, I'm afraid
Mr. Woodman is probably right.
423
00:19:51,156 --> 00:19:53,523
But you have to
Understand why they did it.
424
00:19:53,592 --> 00:19:55,803
He made them think that their
Teacher was being replaced
425
00:19:55,827 --> 00:19:57,327
By a machine.
426
00:19:57,396 --> 00:19:59,596
I had a dream.
427
00:20:01,032 --> 00:20:03,032
Look, like I was
Trying to say before,
428
00:20:03,068 --> 00:20:04,901
This machine is valuable.
429
00:20:04,969 --> 00:20:06,936
It should be used by a teacher,
430
00:20:07,005 --> 00:20:08,305
Not instead of a teacher.
431
00:20:08,373 --> 00:20:10,373
I agree, mr. Kotter.
432
00:20:10,442 --> 00:20:14,744
However, we may find a better
Place for this computer...
433
00:20:14,813 --> 00:20:17,980
Say, in administration.
434
00:20:20,819 --> 00:20:21,751
Mr. Jan!
435
00:20:21,820 --> 00:20:23,386
Mr. Jan, wait!
436
00:20:23,455 --> 00:20:26,623
I'll be back, kotter, as
Soon as I have my spasm.
437
00:20:35,534 --> 00:20:37,133
Why did you do it?
438
00:20:37,202 --> 00:20:39,769
Hey look, mr. Kotter,
We had to do somethin'.
439
00:20:39,838 --> 00:20:42,872
I mean, one more week with
That computer machine...
440
00:20:42,941 --> 00:20:46,376
Man, we would have
Got a diploma in sleepin'.
441
00:20:46,445 --> 00:20:49,879
Washington, that machine
Belongs to the university.
442
00:20:49,948 --> 00:20:51,659
Now you guys had no
Right to tamper with it.
443
00:20:51,683 --> 00:20:53,950
Come on, come on,
Mr. Kotter, it was a crisis.
444
00:20:54,018 --> 00:20:56,786
We was desperate
People in a desperate hour,
445
00:20:56,855 --> 00:20:59,822
I mean, just like paul
Revere and mr. Dawes.
446
00:20:59,891 --> 00:21:01,924
Don't make any
Analogies here, epstein.
447
00:21:01,993 --> 00:21:03,893
You were wrong and that's that.
448
00:21:03,962 --> 00:21:07,430
Okay, okay, mr. Kotter,
We was wrong.
449
00:21:07,499 --> 00:21:08,898
Go ahead, sit down.
450
00:21:13,472 --> 00:21:15,116
Now, we'll get back to teaching
451
00:21:15,140 --> 00:21:16,773
The way it's supposed to be.
452
00:21:16,841 --> 00:21:20,042
One human to another human.
453
00:21:20,111 --> 00:21:28,111
On june 26th, 1783... ♪
454
00:21:33,091 --> 00:21:39,663
One... Night... My
Aunt... Marian...
455
00:21:39,731 --> 00:21:42,332
Sent my uncle bill out
456
00:21:42,401 --> 00:21:46,903
At three o'clock
In the morning...
457
00:21:46,971 --> 00:21:50,573
For a... Pizza.
458
00:21:50,642 --> 00:21:54,344
To get a pizza.
459
00:21:54,413 --> 00:22:00,483
It... With... Anchovies.
460
00:22:00,552 --> 00:22:02,985
With anchovies.
461
00:22:03,054 --> 00:22:07,690
The pizza man said, "Hey, bill,
462
00:22:07,759 --> 00:22:11,060
It's snowing and
Raining outside.
463
00:22:11,128 --> 00:22:14,263
Why did you come
To get a pizza?"
464
00:22:14,332 --> 00:22:16,699
Why did you come to get a pizza?
465
00:22:18,269 --> 00:22:21,036
My uncle bill
Said, "It wasn't me,
466
00:22:21,105 --> 00:22:23,172
My wife sent me out."
467
00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:25,641
My wife sent me out.
468
00:22:25,710 --> 00:22:28,043
The pizza man said,
469
00:22:28,112 --> 00:22:31,614
"Your wife sent you out
Three o'clock in the morning
470
00:22:31,683 --> 00:22:33,449
To get a pizza?"
471
00:22:33,518 --> 00:22:35,317
To get a pizza?
472
00:22:37,489 --> 00:22:39,088
My uncle bill said,
473
00:22:39,156 --> 00:22:41,557
"Do you think my mother
Would send me out
474
00:22:41,626 --> 00:22:43,826
On a night like this?"
475
00:22:43,895 --> 00:22:45,862
On a night like this?
476
00:22:52,871 --> 00:22:57,239
Don't you... Get it?
477
00:22:57,308 --> 00:22:58,374
No.
478
00:23:09,654 --> 00:23:14,590
♪
479
00:23:16,694 --> 00:23:19,395
♪ welcome back ♪
480
00:23:19,463 --> 00:23:23,065
♪ your dreams were
Your ticket out ♪
481
00:23:23,134 --> 00:23:25,367
♪ welcome back ♪
482
00:23:25,436 --> 00:23:30,172
♪ to that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
483
00:23:30,241 --> 00:23:32,374
♪ well the names
Have all changed
484
00:23:32,443 --> 00:23:34,544
Since you hung around ♪
485
00:23:34,612 --> 00:23:36,779
♪ but those dreams have remained
486
00:23:36,848 --> 00:23:38,981
And they've turned around ♪
487
00:23:39,050 --> 00:23:41,050
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead you ♪
488
00:23:41,118 --> 00:23:43,118
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead you ♪
489
00:23:43,154 --> 00:23:45,054
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
490
00:23:45,122 --> 00:23:47,289
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
491
00:23:47,358 --> 00:23:49,291
♪ yeah we tease him a lot
492
00:23:49,360 --> 00:23:51,460
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
493
00:23:51,529 --> 00:23:53,696
♪ welcome back ♪
494
00:23:53,765 --> 00:23:57,934
♪ welcome back, welcome
Back, welcome back ♪
495
00:23:58,002 --> 00:24:00,235
♪ welcome back, welcome back ♪
496
00:24:00,304 --> 00:24:03,039
♪ welcome back ♪
497
00:24:03,107 --> 00:24:06,809
♪ we always could
Spot a friend ♪
498
00:24:06,878 --> 00:24:08,978
♪ welcome back ♪
499
00:24:09,047 --> 00:24:13,716
♪ and a smile when I think
How you must have been ♪
500
00:24:13,785 --> 00:24:18,020
♪ and I know what a
Scene you were learnin' in ♪
501
00:24:18,089 --> 00:24:22,024
♪ was there somethin' that
Made you come back again ♪♪
35408
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