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1
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My uncle thomas.
2
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Your uncle thomas.
3
00:00:05,372 --> 00:00:07,271
My uncle thomas
4
00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:09,140
Is walking down
The street on day,
5
00:00:09,209 --> 00:00:11,120
And he sees a man
Lying on the sidewalk
6
00:00:11,144 --> 00:00:13,110
With his ear to the
Ground like this.
7
00:00:13,179 --> 00:00:14,779
And?
8
00:00:14,847 --> 00:00:16,424
Well, uncle thomas
Says, "What are you doing,
9
00:00:16,448 --> 00:00:18,360
Lying on the sidewalk
With your ear to the ground
10
00:00:18,384 --> 00:00:19,549
Like that?"
11
00:00:19,618 --> 00:00:23,354
The guy goes, "Shh!"
12
00:00:23,423 --> 00:00:25,234
So my uncle thomas
Lies down on the ground
13
00:00:25,258 --> 00:00:26,557
And listens.
14
00:00:26,625 --> 00:00:29,193
He says, "Mister, I
Don't hear anything."
15
00:00:29,262 --> 00:00:32,897
The guy goes, "I know,
It's been like that all day!"
16
00:00:36,068 --> 00:00:41,939
♪
17
00:00:43,776 --> 00:00:46,477
♪ welcome back ♪
18
00:00:46,545 --> 00:00:50,281
♪ your dreams were
Your ticket out ♪
19
00:00:50,350 --> 00:00:52,483
♪ welcome back ♪
20
00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:57,221
♪ to that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
21
00:00:57,290 --> 00:00:59,456
♪ well the names
Have all changed
22
00:00:59,525 --> 00:01:01,525
Since you hung around ♪
23
00:01:01,594 --> 00:01:03,728
♪ but those dreams have remained
24
00:01:03,796 --> 00:01:05,930
And they've turned around ♪
25
00:01:05,999 --> 00:01:08,266
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
26
00:01:08,334 --> 00:01:10,079
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
27
00:01:10,103 --> 00:01:12,036
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
28
00:01:12,105 --> 00:01:14,205
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
29
00:01:14,273 --> 00:01:16,340
♪ yeah, we tease him a lot
30
00:01:16,408 --> 00:01:18,609
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
31
00:01:18,677 --> 00:01:20,677
♪ welcome back ♪
32
00:01:20,746 --> 00:01:26,483
♪ welcome back, welcome
Back, welcome back ♪♪
33
00:01:29,855 --> 00:01:35,726
♪
34
00:01:37,397 --> 00:01:38,896
Okay.
35
00:01:46,506 --> 00:01:48,573
Now.
36
00:01:48,641 --> 00:01:50,218
Paris kidnapped
Helen, which started
37
00:01:50,242 --> 00:01:51,408
The trojan war.
38
00:01:51,478 --> 00:01:52,621
Who can tell me what was inside
39
00:01:52,645 --> 00:01:53,744
The trojan horse?
40
00:01:53,813 --> 00:01:54,946
Barbarino.
41
00:01:55,014 --> 00:01:57,714
What was what?
42
00:01:57,783 --> 00:02:00,984
What was inside
The trojan horse?
43
00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:03,620
I don't know.
44
00:02:03,689 --> 00:02:05,923
I guess the usual
Stuff, you know, hay,
45
00:02:05,991 --> 00:02:09,126
Horse guts.
46
00:02:09,195 --> 00:02:10,294
Wrong.
47
00:02:10,362 --> 00:02:11,462
Epstein.
48
00:02:11,531 --> 00:02:14,931
There was an army
Inside the trojan horse.
49
00:02:17,803 --> 00:02:20,571
It was an army inside the
Trojan horse, barbarino.
50
00:02:20,639 --> 00:02:24,408
Oh, you're so smart, aren't you?
51
00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:25,654
You know, I hope the housing
52
00:02:25,678 --> 00:02:29,079
Never gets that bad here.
53
00:02:29,148 --> 00:02:33,751
I wouldn't mind
Living in a horse.
54
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:35,887
So long as they
Didn't try and stick me
55
00:02:35,955 --> 00:02:38,455
With living in a rear apartment.
56
00:02:42,028 --> 00:02:45,196
Okay, now the greek army
Was inside the trojan horse.
57
00:02:45,264 --> 00:02:47,143
That is so crazy,
How could you put
58
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,799
A whole army in a horse?
59
00:02:48,868 --> 00:02:51,568
They disguise
Themselves as carrots.
60
00:02:55,041 --> 00:02:57,008
That's really ridiculous.
61
00:02:57,076 --> 00:03:00,277
An army inside a horse.
62
00:03:00,346 --> 00:03:01,524
I wonder where
They put the navy,
63
00:03:01,548 --> 00:03:03,581
In a cow?
64
00:03:06,652 --> 00:03:08,492
Yeah, they were
Commanded by rear admiral
65
00:03:08,554 --> 00:03:10,487
L.C. Lowfat.
66
00:03:12,559 --> 00:03:15,226
Hey, it's early,
What do you want?
67
00:03:15,294 --> 00:03:16,460
Kotter.
68
00:03:16,529 --> 00:03:18,262
Would you, uh...
69
00:03:23,636 --> 00:03:25,114
Would you please
Stop telling jokes?
70
00:03:25,138 --> 00:03:27,738
The groaning disturbs
The other classes.
71
00:03:31,410 --> 00:03:33,310
What are feelin' bad
About today mr. Woodman?
72
00:03:33,379 --> 00:03:34,924
Find out that somebody
Else is playing the grinch
73
00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:36,713
This christmas?
74
00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:43,654
As a matter of fact, I'm feeling
Rather jovial today, kotter,
75
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:46,523
I've just seen mr. Sloane,
The english teacher.
76
00:03:46,593 --> 00:03:47,970
Washington here got a 90
77
00:03:47,994 --> 00:03:50,093
In his literature test.
78
00:03:54,967 --> 00:03:58,202
A 90?
79
00:03:58,271 --> 00:04:01,438
Out of how many?
80
00:04:01,507 --> 00:04:03,874
Out of 100, dumb-dumb.
81
00:04:03,943 --> 00:04:08,879
A 90, that's an a, freddie
Got an a in english!
82
00:04:08,947 --> 00:04:10,693
Thank you, thank you,
Thank you, thank you,
83
00:04:10,717 --> 00:04:12,361
Thank you very much, but
I just really want to say
84
00:04:12,385 --> 00:04:14,952
One thing and that is if
You're slow, you blow,
85
00:04:15,020 --> 00:04:18,021
But when you fast, you pass!
86
00:04:21,861 --> 00:04:24,828
Cork it, cork it. F's are
What sweathogs get.
87
00:04:24,897 --> 00:04:26,708
And the only reason you get
F's is because the school board
88
00:04:26,732 --> 00:04:29,166
Won't let us give out g's.
89
00:04:31,203 --> 00:04:32,336
Admit it, washington.
90
00:04:32,405 --> 00:04:33,670
You cheated.
91
00:04:33,739 --> 00:04:34,783
What a second, mr. Woodman,
92
00:04:34,807 --> 00:04:36,585
You have proof that he cheated?
93
00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:37,819
Kotter, they couldn't
Take a blood test
94
00:04:37,843 --> 00:04:41,044
Without cheating!
95
00:04:41,113 --> 00:04:44,448
Are you calling me stupid?
96
00:04:44,517 --> 00:04:47,217
That's close, barbarino.
97
00:04:47,286 --> 00:04:49,753
I'm calling all of you stupid.
98
00:04:49,821 --> 00:04:53,190
Oh, now that's better.
99
00:04:53,258 --> 00:04:54,825
Hey, can he do that?
100
00:04:54,893 --> 00:04:57,828
Come on, kotter won't
Stand for that, will ya?
101
00:04:57,897 --> 00:04:59,897
No, I won't.
102
00:04:59,965 --> 00:05:01,710
Look, mr. Woodman, if you
Got nothin' better to do,
103
00:05:01,734 --> 00:05:06,303
Go out and coach the
Olympic mud-slinging team.
104
00:05:06,372 --> 00:05:09,940
Sorry, kotter, work
Before pleasure.
105
00:05:10,009 --> 00:05:12,208
He cheated.
106
00:05:12,278 --> 00:05:13,377
Mr. Woodman.
107
00:05:13,446 --> 00:05:15,190
You don't know what
You're talkin' about.
108
00:05:15,214 --> 00:05:17,314
The reason I got that
A is because the facts
109
00:05:17,383 --> 00:05:18,849
Are right here.
110
00:05:18,917 --> 00:05:20,217
I knew it, washington.
111
00:05:20,286 --> 00:05:24,754
You had the answers
Written in your hair.
112
00:05:24,823 --> 00:05:27,992
Look, mr. Woodman, if freddie
Says he passed legitimately,
113
00:05:28,060 --> 00:05:30,360
I believe him, I
Believe in freddie.
114
00:05:30,429 --> 00:05:31,429
So what?
115
00:05:31,464 --> 00:05:35,499
I believe in music.
116
00:05:35,568 --> 00:05:38,402
Wait, I know a way to prove
Whether or not he cheated.
117
00:05:38,471 --> 00:05:40,036
How?
118
00:05:40,106 --> 00:05:41,816
Let him take a make-up
Test with sloane
119
00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:43,274
And myself in the room.
120
00:05:43,342 --> 00:05:44,541
Why should I do that?
121
00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:45,954
He's right, why
Should he do that?
122
00:05:45,978 --> 00:05:47,655
I mean, he passed the
Test fair and square
123
00:05:47,679 --> 00:05:48,679
And that's that.
124
00:05:48,714 --> 00:05:50,847
He did not and that's that!
125
00:05:50,916 --> 00:05:52,783
What's what?
126
00:05:54,220 --> 00:05:56,140
Come on, come on,
Gentlemen, gentlemen,
127
00:05:56,188 --> 00:05:58,021
Please calm yourselves.
128
00:05:58,090 --> 00:06:02,560
We're all, uh,
Rational people here.
129
00:06:02,628 --> 00:06:05,462
I'm not.
130
00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:06,697
Not now, arnold, please.
131
00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:10,567
I'm sorry, I'm not.
132
00:06:10,636 --> 00:06:15,005
I still cry when
Somebody sits on my teddy.
133
00:06:15,073 --> 00:06:16,151
All right, all right, all right.
134
00:06:16,175 --> 00:06:17,652
Everybody here's
Rational but arnold.
135
00:06:17,676 --> 00:06:19,709
Everybody got that?
136
00:06:19,778 --> 00:06:21,578
Now my dear man.
137
00:06:21,647 --> 00:06:24,648
Washington here
Obviously passed the test.
138
00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:28,185
And he's under no obligation
To take another one.
139
00:06:28,254 --> 00:06:31,555
However, to silence his accuser,
140
00:06:31,624 --> 00:06:36,193
He'll be more than delighted
Than to take another one.
141
00:06:36,261 --> 00:06:38,061
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the way
142
00:06:38,097 --> 00:06:39,563
All y'all feel about it?
143
00:06:39,631 --> 00:06:42,533
Y'all got it.
144
00:06:42,601 --> 00:06:43,634
Attaboy, freddie.
145
00:06:43,702 --> 00:06:44,968
I'm proud of you.
146
00:06:45,037 --> 00:06:46,748
He'll take your
Test, mr. Woodman,
147
00:06:46,772 --> 00:06:49,306
Now what do you
Have to say about that?
148
00:06:49,375 --> 00:06:51,909
♪ happy days are here again ♪
149
00:06:51,978 --> 00:06:55,412
♪ the skies above
And clear again... ♪
150
00:07:01,186 --> 00:07:02,864
Okay, what do you
Want to do, robin?
151
00:07:02,888 --> 00:07:05,022
I have a six.
152
00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:06,924
You got 17.
153
00:07:06,993 --> 00:07:08,125
You want a hit?
154
00:07:08,193 --> 00:07:09,226
Okay.
155
00:07:09,294 --> 00:07:10,305
You're not supposed
To, you know,
156
00:07:10,329 --> 00:07:13,163
You're supposed to stay on 17.
157
00:07:13,232 --> 00:07:14,664
Yes, you are.
158
00:07:14,734 --> 00:07:16,366
Don't eat the cards, robin.
159
00:07:16,435 --> 00:07:18,902
Come on, here you go.
160
00:07:18,971 --> 00:07:22,105
You got 21.
161
00:07:22,174 --> 00:07:23,941
No, no, no, you don't eat 21.
162
00:07:24,010 --> 00:07:25,042
21's a good hand.
163
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:26,777
I got 17, you win.
164
00:07:26,845 --> 00:07:29,747
You win, robin bobbin.
165
00:07:29,816 --> 00:07:32,216
Okay, honey, cash her
In, she's gotta go to sleep.
166
00:07:32,284 --> 00:07:34,118
Her sister's already tucked in.
167
00:07:34,186 --> 00:07:37,020
Hey, nobody leaves
This casino a winner.
168
00:07:37,089 --> 00:07:38,400
You can get even
Tomorrow, you can play her
169
00:07:38,424 --> 00:07:41,691
For stringed carrot, okay?
170
00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:44,294
Let's go. It's
Time to go sleepy.
171
00:07:44,363 --> 00:07:45,495
Yes it is.
172
00:07:45,564 --> 00:07:48,365
It's time to go
Sleepy, robin bobbin.
173
00:07:48,434 --> 00:07:50,701
Yes it is.
174
00:07:50,769 --> 00:07:52,536
Here we go, sleepytime,
175
00:07:52,605 --> 00:07:54,638
Say hello to your sister.
176
00:07:55,907 --> 00:07:59,576
I'll get it, honey.
177
00:07:59,645 --> 00:08:00,577
Hi, freddie.
178
00:08:00,646 --> 00:08:01,823
Hey, how you doin', mrs. Kotter.
179
00:08:01,847 --> 00:08:03,747
- y'all busy?
- no, come on in.
180
00:08:03,815 --> 00:08:06,650
- how's the kotterettes?
- oh, they're fine.
181
00:08:07,819 --> 00:08:09,886
Honey, freddie's here.
182
00:08:09,955 --> 00:08:11,600
No, he's not, he's
Home studying.
183
00:08:11,624 --> 00:08:13,390
His test is tomorrow.
184
00:08:13,459 --> 00:08:15,459
Oh, well then you
Better call the police
185
00:08:15,528 --> 00:08:19,429
Because somebody stole his face.
186
00:08:19,498 --> 00:08:21,577
You will never get away
With this, my good man.
187
00:08:21,601 --> 00:08:23,266
Freddie washington
Was loved by all.
188
00:08:23,335 --> 00:08:25,636
Now take that thing off.
189
00:08:25,705 --> 00:08:27,582
Yeah, I just wanted to
Thank you, mr. Kotter,
190
00:08:27,606 --> 00:08:30,107
For sticking up for
Me today in class.
191
00:08:30,175 --> 00:08:32,976
Don't mention it. Now
Go home and study.
192
00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:37,459
See, if it wasn't for
You, mr. Kotter, man,
193
00:08:37,483 --> 00:08:40,384
Us sweathogs wouldn't
Have nobody on our side, man.
194
00:08:40,453 --> 00:08:41,696
Well, freddie, you
Know that gabe
195
00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:44,521
Always pulls for the underdog.
196
00:08:44,590 --> 00:08:46,723
You know, he is still
Pulling for amelia earhart
197
00:08:46,792 --> 00:08:49,726
To land in newark.
198
00:08:49,795 --> 00:08:53,363
She just had a
Lousy travel agent.
199
00:08:53,432 --> 00:08:55,276
Ah, I don't know about tomorrow.
200
00:08:55,300 --> 00:08:57,534
I just don't know.
201
00:08:57,603 --> 00:08:59,503
You know, what if
Something goes wrong?
202
00:08:59,571 --> 00:09:00,904
Look, stop worrying, okay?
203
00:09:00,972 --> 00:09:02,606
Yeah. But something...
204
00:09:02,674 --> 00:09:03,941
Freddie, no more buts!
205
00:09:04,010 --> 00:09:05,876
You're gonna do fine!
206
00:09:05,945 --> 00:09:07,389
Look, freddie, you
Know the material,
207
00:09:07,413 --> 00:09:08,590
You got a 90 on the first test,
208
00:09:08,614 --> 00:09:09,991
All you gotta do is brush up.
209
00:09:10,015 --> 00:09:11,715
Tell you what. Sit down.
210
00:09:11,784 --> 00:09:14,417
I'll play you one hand
Of black jack, okay?
211
00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:16,887
Now, if you win you get a soda,
212
00:09:16,956 --> 00:09:18,922
And then you go home and study.
213
00:09:18,991 --> 00:09:20,257
If I lose?
214
00:09:20,325 --> 00:09:24,161
You go home and study
And maybe get a soda.
215
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:25,395
Go ahead, deal.
216
00:09:25,464 --> 00:09:27,041
What kind of soda
Do you want, freddie?
217
00:09:27,065 --> 00:09:28,332
He didn't win yet.
218
00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:31,468
He will.
219
00:09:31,537 --> 00:09:33,269
I'll take a root beer.
220
00:09:33,339 --> 00:09:34,271
Mr. Kotter.
221
00:09:34,339 --> 00:09:35,705
You want another card?
222
00:09:35,774 --> 00:09:39,075
No, I got black jack.
223
00:09:39,145 --> 00:09:41,111
Give him the soda.
224
00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:42,757
How'd you get black
Jack in the first hand,
225
00:09:42,781 --> 00:09:44,948
How'd you do that?
226
00:09:45,017 --> 00:09:46,483
I cheated.
227
00:09:46,552 --> 00:09:48,986
How could you cheat,
Gabe was dealing!
228
00:09:49,054 --> 00:09:52,356
I'm not talking about
In the cards there, um...
229
00:09:52,424 --> 00:09:57,460
See, I... I cheated
On mr. Sloane's test.
230
00:10:07,539 --> 00:10:09,506
I don't know what to say.
231
00:10:09,575 --> 00:10:11,474
Go ahead, yell
At me, mr. Kotter.
232
00:10:11,543 --> 00:10:13,176
I know I got it coming.
233
00:10:13,245 --> 00:10:16,646
Yelling isn't gonna
Solve anything, freddie.
234
00:10:16,715 --> 00:10:18,026
Freddie, why don't
You just go home?
235
00:10:18,050 --> 00:10:19,090
Go home, we'll talk...
236
00:10:19,151 --> 00:10:20,562
I'll tell woodman
Tomorrow, okay?
237
00:10:20,586 --> 00:10:21,885
Honey!
238
00:10:21,954 --> 00:10:23,164
What do you want
Me to do, julie?
239
00:10:23,188 --> 00:10:25,389
I thought I had a
Relationship with this guy.
240
00:10:25,457 --> 00:10:27,925
Built on two years of
Trust and understanding.
241
00:10:27,993 --> 00:10:29,893
He just threw it
All out the window.
242
00:10:29,961 --> 00:10:33,063
Go ahead, freddie, go home.
243
00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:34,798
All right.
244
00:10:34,867 --> 00:10:37,734
Where you going?
245
00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:40,637
- home.
- sit down.
246
00:10:40,706 --> 00:10:42,351
Mr. Kotter, you got to
Make your mind up, you know,
247
00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:46,210
Things are bad enough, you know?
248
00:10:46,278 --> 00:10:47,611
Why did you cheat?
249
00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:49,412
Why did I cheat?
250
00:10:49,481 --> 00:10:50,792
'cause I really knew
That stuff about
251
00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:52,349
The three musketeers.
252
00:10:52,417 --> 00:10:53,650
What?
253
00:10:53,719 --> 00:10:54,896
Look, dig what I'm sayin',
All right, all right,
254
00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:55,852
Okay, look.
255
00:10:55,921 --> 00:10:57,632
Now in a subject like geometry,
256
00:10:57,656 --> 00:10:59,456
If I get a 65, I don't care.
257
00:10:59,491 --> 00:11:01,225
'cause see, I expect to fail.
258
00:11:01,293 --> 00:11:03,360
See, I can't tell one
Triangle from another,
259
00:11:03,429 --> 00:11:05,795
I mean, they all
Look alike to me.
260
00:11:05,864 --> 00:11:07,631
Now, you with me?
261
00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:10,134
I am hanging by my thumbs.
262
00:11:10,202 --> 00:11:12,302
Okay, now what I'm
Sayin' now, mr. Kotter,
263
00:11:12,371 --> 00:11:14,104
Is about them three musketeers?
264
00:11:14,172 --> 00:11:15,784
I know all about them dudes.
265
00:11:15,808 --> 00:11:17,252
I read the book eight times,
266
00:11:17,276 --> 00:11:18,776
I saw the movie twice.
267
00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:23,647
In fact, it's even my
Favorite candy bar.
268
00:11:23,716 --> 00:11:26,750
Well, then why did
You cheat, freddie?
269
00:11:26,819 --> 00:11:28,585
'cause I wanted to pass.
270
00:11:28,653 --> 00:11:30,565
But you just said
You know the material.
271
00:11:30,589 --> 00:11:35,592
The fact is... I
Don't trust myself.
272
00:11:39,999 --> 00:11:41,999
I understand, freddie.
273
00:11:42,067 --> 00:11:44,734
No, I really understand.
274
00:11:44,803 --> 00:11:47,004
Let me tell you a little story.
275
00:11:51,243 --> 00:11:52,487
When I went to
School at buchanan,
276
00:11:52,511 --> 00:11:54,911
There was a guy named
Too-tall tannenbaum.
277
00:11:54,980 --> 00:11:56,045
You know.
278
00:11:56,114 --> 00:11:58,382
This also reminds me of a story
279
00:11:58,450 --> 00:12:00,850
Of the long-necked crane.
280
00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:02,798
Wait a second, julie,
My story comes first.
281
00:12:02,822 --> 00:12:04,199
Yeah, well, uh, maybe so,
282
00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:07,824
But I think I'd rather hear
About the long-necked crane.
283
00:12:07,893 --> 00:12:10,093
Well, you see, freddie,
The long-necked crane
284
00:12:10,162 --> 00:12:14,431
Used to fly on gossamer wings.
285
00:12:14,499 --> 00:12:16,433
Yeah.
286
00:12:16,501 --> 00:12:17,545
On second thought, tell me about
287
00:12:17,569 --> 00:12:19,636
Too-tall tannenbaum.
288
00:12:19,705 --> 00:12:22,872
Okay. Too-tall tannenbaum
Was a great basketball player.
289
00:12:22,941 --> 00:12:24,219
He used to stand
At the foul line
290
00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:25,987
And take shots, jump
Shots, hook shots,
291
00:12:26,011 --> 00:12:28,378
Every kind of shot,
Make 49 out of 50.
292
00:12:28,447 --> 00:12:31,915
Just like the crane!
293
00:12:31,984 --> 00:12:35,018
What are you talking about?
Could the crane play basketball?
294
00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:39,422
No, but he was a great flier
295
00:12:39,491 --> 00:12:41,091
When he was all alone,
296
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,459
Not when the other
Cranes were watching him.
297
00:12:43,528 --> 00:12:45,173
Same thing with
Too-tall tannenbaum.
298
00:12:45,197 --> 00:12:46,508
He could shoot
Great, but he couldn't
299
00:12:46,532 --> 00:12:48,042
Play basketball in a real game.
300
00:12:48,066 --> 00:12:49,732
You see, it's the
Same story, freddie,
301
00:12:49,802 --> 00:12:51,801
Do you understand?
302
00:12:51,870 --> 00:12:52,802
I think so.
303
00:12:52,871 --> 00:12:54,271
Let me see if I got this now.
304
00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:56,184
Now you sayin' you
Got a basketball player
305
00:12:56,208 --> 00:12:57,885
Who can't fly, and
You got a crane
306
00:12:57,909 --> 00:13:01,378
That can't shoot baskets.
307
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:03,980
Not exactly, but it's
The same general idea.
308
00:13:04,049 --> 00:13:05,326
Let me tell you
What the wind-up was.
309
00:13:05,350 --> 00:13:06,861
No, no, no, I'm
Way ahead of you.
310
00:13:06,885 --> 00:13:09,386
Now what you sayin' is
That, too-tall learned
311
00:13:09,454 --> 00:13:11,566
To trust himself and became
A leader of the team, right?
312
00:13:11,590 --> 00:13:12,622
Right, you got it!
313
00:13:12,691 --> 00:13:14,590
And what you saying
Is that the crane
314
00:13:14,659 --> 00:13:16,304
Learned to trust himself
And became the leader
315
00:13:16,328 --> 00:13:17,493
Of the flock, right?
316
00:13:17,562 --> 00:13:19,830
Wrong. He tried to
Fly with his eyes closed
317
00:13:19,898 --> 00:13:22,265
And smashed into a mountain.
318
00:13:25,404 --> 00:13:28,171
What kind of story is that?
319
00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:30,673
It's a funny story.
320
00:13:30,742 --> 00:13:31,920
Well, if you don't
Mind, I'm gonna stick
321
00:13:31,944 --> 00:13:33,910
With the tannenbaum
Story, all right?
322
00:13:33,979 --> 00:13:35,812
Mrs. Kotter, if I see a crane
323
00:13:35,881 --> 00:13:40,551
In a neck brace, I
Give him your regards.
324
00:13:40,619 --> 00:13:42,919
Thanks a lot, mr. Kotter.
You're all right.
325
00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:45,521
And mrs. Kotter, thank
You, you've been a big help.
326
00:13:45,590 --> 00:13:46,489
Right on.
327
00:13:46,558 --> 00:13:48,491
Check y'all later.
328
00:13:54,132 --> 00:13:55,999
Thanks a lot.
329
00:14:02,807 --> 00:14:04,647
What kind of story is
That, a crane crashes
330
00:14:04,676 --> 00:14:06,009
Into a mountain?
331
00:14:06,078 --> 00:14:07,389
Well, what kind of story is that
332
00:14:07,413 --> 00:14:09,345
Too-tall tannenbaum?
333
00:14:09,414 --> 00:14:11,180
Well, too-tall
Tannenbaum happens to be
334
00:14:11,250 --> 00:14:12,415
A real person.
335
00:14:12,484 --> 00:14:15,385
You don't know any real
People, you only know
336
00:14:15,454 --> 00:14:18,855
Joke people.
337
00:14:18,924 --> 00:14:20,635
Did I ever tell you about
Too-tall tannenbaum's uncle,
338
00:14:20,659 --> 00:14:23,159
Too-short tannenbaum?
339
00:14:23,228 --> 00:14:24,939
Now, one time he was
Walkin' down the street,
340
00:14:24,963 --> 00:14:27,330
And he sees this guy...
341
00:14:31,970 --> 00:14:33,303
Hey, hey, hey.
342
00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:34,504
Come on, now, freddie.
343
00:14:34,573 --> 00:14:36,440
No need to strain
Your brain, we got it all
344
00:14:36,508 --> 00:14:37,441
Figured out here.
345
00:14:37,509 --> 00:14:40,177
Check it out, check it out.
346
00:14:40,245 --> 00:14:42,779
You got all what figured
Out? What are you talkin' about?
347
00:14:42,847 --> 00:14:44,059
How you can cheat
So you can pass
348
00:14:44,083 --> 00:14:46,683
That test of sloane's.
349
00:14:46,751 --> 00:14:48,851
No, guys, I'm not gonna cheat.
350
00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:50,960
No offense, freddie,
But if you had to cheat
351
00:14:50,989 --> 00:14:53,156
The first time... Well, arnold.
352
00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:55,169
It's different this
Time, all right? Be cool.
353
00:14:55,193 --> 00:14:56,504
Exactly, here, so,
354
00:14:56,528 --> 00:14:57,638
Give me this kid, vinnie.
355
00:14:57,662 --> 00:15:01,064
We got the answer
To all your problems.
356
00:15:01,133 --> 00:15:02,865
Viola!
357
00:15:04,669 --> 00:15:08,738
The answer sandwich.
358
00:15:08,807 --> 00:15:10,807
See, now this is perfect.
359
00:15:10,875 --> 00:15:12,742
When you go and
You tell mr. Sloane
360
00:15:12,811 --> 00:15:15,211
That you ain't had no breakfast,
361
00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:17,647
And you brought
This sandwich here
362
00:15:17,716 --> 00:15:21,017
To chomp on during the test.
363
00:15:21,085 --> 00:15:22,552
Now, dig this.
364
00:15:22,621 --> 00:15:26,022
Heh-heh, dig this.
365
00:15:26,090 --> 00:15:27,090
Dig this.
366
00:15:27,158 --> 00:15:30,193
Everything about
The three musketeers
367
00:15:30,261 --> 00:15:34,130
Has been carefully
Written on the cold cuts.
368
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:36,466
Come again?
369
00:15:36,535 --> 00:15:38,179
Look, look, it's
Very simple, freddie,
370
00:15:38,203 --> 00:15:40,770
Look, you have your
Sandwich like so, right?
371
00:15:40,839 --> 00:15:42,906
You're sitting in the classroom,
372
00:15:42,975 --> 00:15:44,652
And then you say,
"Hey, mr. Sloane,
373
00:15:44,676 --> 00:15:45,920
Why don't you come
Over and check out
374
00:15:45,944 --> 00:15:47,977
And see if I'm cheatin' or not?
375
00:15:48,046 --> 00:15:50,647
See if I got something
Written on the wax paper."
376
00:15:50,716 --> 00:15:52,527
Then he comes over,
Right, and he sees that
377
00:15:52,551 --> 00:15:56,987
There ain't nothin' on
The wax paper but wax.
378
00:15:57,055 --> 00:15:59,822
We're so smart.
379
00:15:59,891 --> 00:16:02,892
Here, here, here, let me
Circumnavigate this here.
380
00:16:02,961 --> 00:16:04,194
Now.
381
00:16:04,263 --> 00:16:06,663
Now the cold cuts
Are there divided into
382
00:16:06,732 --> 00:16:09,165
Three categories.
383
00:16:11,970 --> 00:16:15,639
The tongue is alexander dumas.
384
00:16:15,707 --> 00:16:18,742
The three musketeers
Are bologna.
385
00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:25,816
And, uh... France
Is a polish sausage.
386
00:16:29,021 --> 00:16:30,687
Arnold, you used mustard!
387
00:16:30,756 --> 00:16:33,457
So, freddie likes mustard.
388
00:16:33,525 --> 00:16:35,069
Yeah, but I told you
Not to use mustard.
389
00:16:35,093 --> 00:16:37,727
You can't see through
Mustard, I told you to use mayo!
390
00:16:37,796 --> 00:16:39,863
Give it to me, I'll
Write on the pickles.
391
00:16:39,931 --> 00:16:42,366
Don't worry about a
Thing, in fact, don't bother,
392
00:16:42,434 --> 00:16:44,079
'cause I ain't gonna
Use it, all right?
393
00:16:44,103 --> 00:16:46,669
What are you talking about?
394
00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:51,207
These answers
Cost us $1.95 a pound.
395
00:16:51,276 --> 00:16:53,377
Yeah, yeah, and not only
That, this is the perfect
396
00:16:53,445 --> 00:16:54,578
Cheating system.
397
00:16:54,646 --> 00:16:55,724
I mean, when you're
Finished with the test,
398
00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:58,114
You eat the evidence!
399
00:16:58,183 --> 00:16:59,348
Now look, no way!
400
00:16:59,418 --> 00:17:00,458
I'm not gonna cheat.
401
00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:01,951
Freddie, you gotta cheat.
402
00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:03,598
You can't let woodman go around
403
00:17:03,622 --> 00:17:05,054
Calling you a cheater.
404
00:17:05,123 --> 00:17:06,923
Hey, vinnie, look.
405
00:17:06,992 --> 00:17:10,393
Vinnie, juan, arnold,
Listen to me, all right?
406
00:17:10,462 --> 00:17:11,839
Look, I'm gonna try
And take the test
407
00:17:11,863 --> 00:17:13,763
And pass on the up and up.
408
00:17:13,832 --> 00:17:15,165
Hey, freddie.
409
00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:17,100
Well, you ready?
410
00:17:17,169 --> 00:17:18,601
Yeah.
411
00:17:18,670 --> 00:17:20,470
Yeah, I think so.
412
00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:22,072
Well, just remember.
413
00:17:22,141 --> 00:17:24,174
Too-tall tannenbaum.
414
00:17:24,243 --> 00:17:25,775
Yeah.
415
00:17:25,844 --> 00:17:27,877
Gotta trust myself.
416
00:17:27,946 --> 00:17:29,346
Well.
417
00:17:29,414 --> 00:17:31,013
If it isn't the four musketeers.
418
00:17:31,082 --> 00:17:34,650
Harpo, groucho,
Chico, and flunko.
419
00:17:44,662 --> 00:17:46,396
Have your fun now.
420
00:17:46,465 --> 00:17:47,875
Just wait till
This test is over.
421
00:17:47,899 --> 00:17:51,201
♪ happy days are here again ♪
422
00:17:54,072 --> 00:17:57,974
Well, um, I guess I
Better go in, right?
423
00:17:58,042 --> 00:18:01,344
Yeah. And the rest of you
Guys, there's a class starting
424
00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:05,782
Right now inside, so.
425
00:18:05,851 --> 00:18:09,985
Good luck, freddie.
426
00:18:10,054 --> 00:18:13,189
Wait a minute, little musketeer.
427
00:18:13,258 --> 00:18:15,825
You are not going to
Sully forth into battle
428
00:18:15,893 --> 00:18:19,128
Without the support
Of your friends, are you?
429
00:18:22,634 --> 00:18:26,936
All for one, and one for all.
430
00:18:32,878 --> 00:18:34,355
Sell him where
You live, freddie.
431
00:18:34,379 --> 00:18:36,946
Rah-rah, that's the spirit.
432
00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:44,921
This is the best
Test I ever ate.
433
00:18:44,990 --> 00:18:47,223
All right, so the windup
Was that andrew johnson
434
00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:49,325
Narrowly missed impeachment.
435
00:18:49,394 --> 00:18:50,626
Epstein.
436
00:18:50,695 --> 00:18:52,373
Hey, mr. Kotter, why do
We got to read about people
437
00:18:52,397 --> 00:18:54,497
Who lived 100 years ago?
438
00:18:54,565 --> 00:18:59,068
They ain't never
Gonna read about us.
439
00:18:59,137 --> 00:19:00,703
Ooh, ooh, ooh!
440
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:12,382
I wish that I was
Born 100 years ago.
441
00:19:12,450 --> 00:19:17,220
That way I have 100 less
Years of history to remember.
442
00:19:17,289 --> 00:19:21,290
Aren't you people interested
In how other peoples lived?
443
00:19:21,359 --> 00:19:22,626
Okay, mr. Kotter.
444
00:19:22,694 --> 00:19:27,597
We learn about history
In this class, right?
445
00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:29,444
Once a while, it does come up.
446
00:19:29,468 --> 00:19:32,135
I got a question
Pertaining to history.
447
00:19:32,204 --> 00:19:36,105
Now, in the dark ages,
Did they have sunlight?
448
00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:40,744
Okay, now...
449
00:19:40,812 --> 00:19:43,212
So you see, mr. Woodman,
What dumas was really
450
00:19:43,281 --> 00:19:45,147
Talkin' about was
That a man's man
451
00:19:45,216 --> 00:19:46,494
Was not afraid to show affection
452
00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:49,986
For another man, you
Dig what I'm sayin', right?
453
00:19:50,054 --> 00:19:51,421
All right, washington.
454
00:19:51,490 --> 00:19:52,689
Don't rub it in.
455
00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:53,967
Freddie, how'd
You do on the test?
456
00:19:53,991 --> 00:19:55,436
I'll be with you in a
Minute, mr. Kotter.
457
00:19:55,460 --> 00:19:57,438
Now, mr. Woodman, what
I'm saying is that dumas said...
458
00:19:57,462 --> 00:19:59,796
Did you pass?
459
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:02,665
Did I... Did I pass?
460
00:20:02,734 --> 00:20:04,800
Got a 84!
461
00:20:08,073 --> 00:20:10,573
I'll be in, uh, sloane's room
462
00:20:10,641 --> 00:20:12,608
And check the
Test results again.
463
00:20:12,677 --> 00:20:14,777
Maybe sloane made a mistake.
464
00:20:14,846 --> 00:20:16,680
♪ don't know why ♪
465
00:20:16,748 --> 00:20:19,949
♪ there's no sun up in the sky ♪
466
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:23,886
Lunch, let's go get lunch.
467
00:20:23,955 --> 00:20:25,199
Freddie, I'm gonna
Go buy you lunch,
468
00:20:25,223 --> 00:20:26,989
Pick up the check, and, uh,
469
00:20:27,058 --> 00:20:29,925
Give it to arnold here.
470
00:20:29,994 --> 00:20:31,005
You know what, freddie?
471
00:20:31,029 --> 00:20:32,828
The really beautiful
Thing about...
472
00:20:32,897 --> 00:20:35,031
About not cheatin'.
473
00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:38,801
You never gotta worry
About gettin' caught.
474
00:20:41,005 --> 00:20:42,205
Freddie.
475
00:20:42,273 --> 00:20:43,751
- can I see you a second?
- sure.
476
00:20:43,775 --> 00:20:45,575
Hey, I'll catch
Y'all up in a minute.
477
00:20:45,644 --> 00:20:47,444
Wait up.
478
00:20:47,512 --> 00:20:49,913
What's up, mr. Kotter?
479
00:20:49,981 --> 00:20:54,384
Freddie, isn't there
Something you have to do now?
480
00:20:54,452 --> 00:20:55,818
What?
481
00:20:55,887 --> 00:20:58,655
You gotta tell mr. Sloane
About the first test.
482
00:20:58,723 --> 00:21:01,724
Let me ask you something
Mr. Kotter, all right?
483
00:21:01,793 --> 00:21:03,359
Now, suppose...
484
00:21:03,428 --> 00:21:07,096
Now just suppose I
Was gonna tell you that
485
00:21:07,165 --> 00:21:09,832
I was never gonna
Cheat on a test again.
486
00:21:09,901 --> 00:21:14,470
Would you believe me?
487
00:21:14,539 --> 00:21:16,906
Yes.
488
00:21:16,975 --> 00:21:18,186
What's done is done, mr. Kotter,
489
00:21:18,210 --> 00:21:22,745
Don't make no sense
To dig up dead bodies.
490
00:21:22,814 --> 00:21:24,914
Freddie.
491
00:21:24,983 --> 00:21:27,850
The fact that you
Got an 84 on this test,
492
00:21:27,919 --> 00:21:29,819
That doesn't erase the
Fact that you cheated
493
00:21:29,888 --> 00:21:31,320
On the first test.
494
00:21:31,389 --> 00:21:34,958
Okay, what does?
495
00:21:35,027 --> 00:21:37,627
Only thing that does is
Going into mr. Sloane's class
496
00:21:37,696 --> 00:21:38,862
And fessing up.
497
00:21:38,930 --> 00:21:40,274
Telling him that you cheated.
498
00:21:40,298 --> 00:21:44,701
Wow, man.
499
00:21:44,769 --> 00:21:46,736
I guess...
500
00:21:46,805 --> 00:21:49,506
I guess I gotta do
That little thing, huh?
501
00:21:49,574 --> 00:21:52,575
Freddie, it's up
To you, but, uh...
502
00:21:52,644 --> 00:21:55,779
If you don't go, I'll
Be forced to tell you
503
00:21:55,847 --> 00:21:59,481
Another too-tall
Tannenbaum story.
504
00:21:59,550 --> 00:22:01,484
Okay, mr. Kotter.
505
00:22:05,423 --> 00:22:07,068
Mr. Kotter, it's not
Gonna be easy you know,
506
00:22:07,092 --> 00:22:10,526
But there is one
Thing I'd like to say.
507
00:22:10,595 --> 00:22:13,963
You're a pretty good teacher.
508
00:22:14,032 --> 00:22:16,533
But you're a better friend.
509
00:22:16,601 --> 00:22:22,471
♪
510
00:22:24,242 --> 00:22:26,609
Well, my brother will be
Over any second, honey.
511
00:22:26,677 --> 00:22:28,144
You did a terrific job.
512
00:22:28,213 --> 00:22:30,246
And with a broken arm, no less.
513
00:22:30,315 --> 00:22:31,658
Aw, thanks, honey, it's gonna be
514
00:22:31,682 --> 00:22:33,482
A real happy thanksgiving.
515
00:22:33,551 --> 00:22:34,851
Yeah.
516
00:22:34,919 --> 00:22:36,697
Hey, did I ever tell you
What happened to my uncle?
517
00:22:36,721 --> 00:22:39,922
Honey, let's keep
It happy, okay?
518
00:22:39,991 --> 00:22:41,335
No, this is a really cute story.
519
00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:43,325
You see, my uncle walked
Into this restaurant...
520
00:22:43,394 --> 00:22:46,362
Gabe, I think I hear the babies.
521
00:22:46,430 --> 00:22:47,663
I don't hear anything.
522
00:22:47,732 --> 00:22:52,301
They're gonna start
Crying any second.
523
00:22:52,370 --> 00:22:55,271
It's a good story!
524
00:22:55,340 --> 00:22:57,040
It's a good story.
525
00:23:05,150 --> 00:23:06,293
Did I ever tell you what
Happened to my uncle
526
00:23:06,317 --> 00:23:08,084
On thanksgiving?
527
00:23:08,153 --> 00:23:09,719
Well...
528
00:23:13,558 --> 00:23:14,991
That's better.
529
00:23:15,060 --> 00:23:16,570
My uncle robert goes
Into this restaurant
530
00:23:16,594 --> 00:23:17,960
For thanksgiving dinner.
531
00:23:18,029 --> 00:23:19,206
And the owner comes
Up to him after the meal,
532
00:23:19,230 --> 00:23:21,142
He says, "Mr. Kotter,
How'd you like dinner?"
533
00:23:21,166 --> 00:23:22,509
My uncle says, "It was
Good, but you only gave me
534
00:23:22,533 --> 00:23:24,233
Two slices of bread."
535
00:23:24,302 --> 00:23:25,780
Now the next year,
My uncle goes back
536
00:23:25,804 --> 00:23:27,581
To the same restaurant
And the owner remembers him,
537
00:23:27,605 --> 00:23:29,845
So he says to the waiter,
"See that guy over there?
538
00:23:29,874 --> 00:23:32,641
Make sure this year he's
Got four slices of bread."
539
00:23:32,710 --> 00:23:34,121
So he goes up to my
Uncle after the meal,
540
00:23:34,145 --> 00:23:36,745
He says, "Well, mr. Kotter,
How'd you like it this year?"
541
00:23:36,815 --> 00:23:39,081
And my uncle said,
"Well, uh, it was okay
542
00:23:39,150 --> 00:23:41,550
But you still didn't
Give me enough bread."
543
00:23:41,619 --> 00:23:43,379
So the next
Thanksgiving he comes in,
544
00:23:43,421 --> 00:23:45,065
The owner says, "Well that's
The guy who never thinks
545
00:23:45,089 --> 00:23:46,022
He has enough bread."
546
00:23:46,090 --> 00:23:48,524
He takes a big long french bread
547
00:23:48,592 --> 00:23:50,070
And he cuts it right
Down the center,
548
00:23:50,094 --> 00:23:51,705
He says, "Here, give him this."
549
00:23:51,729 --> 00:23:53,340
So after the meal, he
Walks over to my uncle,
550
00:23:53,364 --> 00:23:56,165
He says, "Mr. Kotter,
How'd you like it this year?"
551
00:23:56,234 --> 00:23:58,634
And my uncle says,
"Well, it was okay,
552
00:23:58,703 --> 00:24:01,637
But why did you go
Back to two slices?"
553
00:24:05,310 --> 00:24:07,277
You got no sense of humor.
554
00:24:12,284 --> 00:24:18,153
♪
555
00:24:20,157 --> 00:24:22,859
♪ welcome back ♪
556
00:24:22,927 --> 00:24:26,596
♪ your dreams were
Your ticket out ♪
557
00:24:26,665 --> 00:24:28,831
♪ welcome back ♪
558
00:24:28,899 --> 00:24:33,603
♪ to that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
559
00:24:33,671 --> 00:24:35,838
♪ well the names
Have all changed
560
00:24:35,906 --> 00:24:38,007
Since you hung around ♪
561
00:24:38,075 --> 00:24:40,142
♪ but those dreams have remained
562
00:24:40,211 --> 00:24:42,412
And they've turned around ♪
563
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:44,580
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead you ♪
564
00:24:44,649 --> 00:24:46,394
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead you ♪
565
00:24:46,418 --> 00:24:48,484
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
566
00:24:48,553 --> 00:24:50,687
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
567
00:24:50,755 --> 00:24:52,755
♪ yeah we tease him a lot
568
00:24:52,823 --> 00:24:55,024
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
569
00:24:55,093 --> 00:24:57,093
♪ welcome back ♪
570
00:24:57,161 --> 00:25:01,297
♪ welcome back, welcome
Back, welcome back ♪
571
00:25:01,366 --> 00:25:03,633
♪ welcome back, welcome back ♪
572
00:25:03,702 --> 00:25:06,402
♪ welcome back ♪
573
00:25:06,471 --> 00:25:08,605
♪ we always could
Spot a friend ♪♪
40285
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