All language subtitles for Touched By An Angel S07E06 The Empty Chair 1080p WEB-DL AAC2 0 H 264-squalor_track3_[eng]

(Soft click)

-(Dog barking in distance)
-(Soft snoring)

Man:
What time is it?

Its 5:00.

Why didnt
the alarm clock go off?

(Alarm clock buzzing)

Shh.

I-Im trying to remember
my dream before I wake up.

-You are awake.
-Shh, shh. Dont say anything.

It was something...

-Awful.
-(Laughing): Good.

I like to hear something awful

before I get out of bed
and start the day.

Since when did you start
writing down your dreams?

We have that dream interpreter
coming on the show tomorrow.

I dont know.

I dont read the schedule
that far ahead.

Oh, god forbid
you should do that.

What?

Nothing.

You just dont do
your homework, thats all.

What homework?

We sit, we talk,
we go to commercial.

See? I forgot my dream.

Youve engaged me
in conversation,

and my dream just slipped away.

I have that effect on women.

(Laughing):
Do you want coffee?

Yeah.

(Sighs quietly)

They seem to get along.

Oh, they get along just fine.

No, somethings missing.

Yes.

No. Actually,
theres something there,

and thats the problem.

Its something
thats never discussed,

its something
thats never resolved,

so it never really goes away.

Thats the way marriage ends--

one unspoken word at a time.

And those words
just pile up inside,

and one day
they come spilling out,

because a plate was broken,

or a... a Fender smashed.

And todays the day?

Yep.

What do we do?

Just be there.

Sometimes people need
to hear the truth

spoken by an angel.

And then sometimes people need
to speak the truth to an angel.

Your assignment

is to be there
when the dam breaks,

and listen.

(Quiet clacking)

The children raised over $7,000
for the new gym,

and according
to their principal, raised a lot

-of school spirit as well.
-You know, Harvey,

-thats my old high school.
-No, I didnt know that.

Yes, you did, Harvey, you moron.

She says it once a month--
you never listen.

Well be back in just a minute
with a look at the weather

and a look
at the mayors new report

on crime after this.

Man: Today on

br

eakfast with the baxters,

-oh, thanks. -Well be
talking with a psychologist

who says you can save
your marriage by playing games.

Woman: And a fashion expert
from New York

drops by to give bud
a brand-new look for winter.

Thats today at 10:00

on wzpz, channel 14,

the one for Omaha.

Woman: What kind of games
could save your marriage?

Were late.

Yep. Its showtime.

Man (over TV): Dont miss

br

eakfast with the baxters...

Its showtime.

(Over TV): ...Wzpz, channel 14,
the one for Omaha.

♪ When you walk

♪ down the road

♪ heavy burden

♪ heavy load

♪ I will rise

♪ and I will walk with you

♪ ill walk with you

♪ till the sun
dont even shine ♪

♪ walk with you

♪ every time, I tell you

♪ ill walk with you

♪

Walk with you

♪ believe me,
ill walk with you. ♪

Did you turn the coffee off?

Yeah, just now.

The coffees still hot.

(Doorbell rings)

Whos at the front door
at 5:30 in the morning?

-Hello.
-Hello. Mr. Baxter?

-Yes.
-My name is Tess.

Ill be your driver today.

Well, I-I didnt know
that we had a driver today.

-Honey, did you order a limo?
-I didnt.

(Phone rings)

Well, I have here:
5:30 pickup.

6:00 A.M., deliver
to station wzpz.

12:30 P.M., personal appearance
at the super food world.

And at 1:30 P.M.,
Omaha childrens hospital.

Hello.

-Hello.
-That was Arnie.

He ordered the limo
because of our big day.

I didnt know that we had
such a big day.

Yes, you did.

Tess:
This is really a big day.

Big.

Lets talk about

pillow talk.

Sheila.

Well, bud, its a fun way to
open avenues of discussion

just when married couples
start thinking they know

everything there is to know
about each other.

You mean I dont?

(Scoffs) Are you kidding?

Im the soul of mystery.

-A sphinx.
-A sphinx?

A sphinx.

Bud:
Okay,

lets play the game.

"Its a snowy
Saturday afternoon.

"Would your mate rather sit

"by a cozy fire

or go outside
and make a snowman?"

Go outside.

Betsys a doer.

Ive never seen her sit
by the fire.

Well, actually weve never had
a fire in our fireplace.

I dont know why.

See? Thats good.

Youre talking.

And it stopped being a game
and become a conversation.

Sheila, thank you for coming.

Betsy:
Tomorrow well be talking

about dreams--
how to interpret them

and how to learn from them.

So well see you then.

Have a great day.

And were out.

(Bell rings)

Nice show, guys.

Hey, listen, could you come up
to my office just for a minute?

Oh, Arnie, we got to be
at that supermarket thing

-in half an hour.
-Yeah, well...

Thanks for the limo, by the way.

Yeah, itll only
just take a second.

Whats up?

Well, i-ID really rather
discuss it in my office.

Oh, man. This is hard.

Come on, Arnie.
Whats the matter?

You guys have been hearing about
this sonicmedia communications?

That company that just bought
the station in Kansas City?

-Yeah.
-They bought US.

The deal closed last night.

They, uh...

Want to make some changes.

Changes?

The, uh...
Your shows canceled.

What?

Youre kidding.

Guys, I wish I were.

But theyre saying
no more local stuff.

Just syndicated talk.

Starting tomorrow.

Are you saying
we just did our last show?

This really stinks, Arnie.

Weve been doing the show
for 15 years.

You cant just throw US away.

Im not throwing you away.

-They are.
-Just forget it.

Bud:
Lets get out of here.

Look, I fought
for you guys. I did.

But-but I lost.

And I... I think,
once the shock wears off,

youre going to see
the other side of this.

You can sleep in now.

Relax a little bit,
start having a life.

You dont get it, Arnie.

This was our life.

My, my, my,
this is really something.

A years supply of meat.

They must really like you
at that supermarket.

Uh-huh, its one of the perks
of being a local celebrity.

Well, lets hope they like US
enough to give US a job.

Paper or plastic?

We need a checker up
at the front, please.

I look wonderful in an apron.

(Laughs)

Well...

You people have had
a rough day today.

And ive seen you keep smiling

at the supermarket,
and keep smiling

at the hospital, and keep
smiling with all those kids.

But youre home now.

And you probably got a lot
of talking you want to do.

-So ill just run along.
-Oh, oh, no.

No, please,
wont you stay for dinner?

I mean, obviously
we have a lot of food.

Bud: Yeah, you were
so terrific today. I mean,

dont let US send you off
without a good meal.

Well, thank you very much,
but ive got to go.

Oh, it might freeze tonight.

Now, you listen to me.

Its all right to cry.

Because youve lost
something very special.

That show was our baby.

I know.

Well?

I think ill cover the roses.

She said it might freeze.

(Sighs)

I want out of these clothes.

♪

(Playing slow waltz)

(Doorbell rings)

Oh, Tess.

I was hoping that you
would change your mind.

Hi. Uh, im Andrew.

This is... this is Monica,

and we hope
were not bothering you,

but our, uh...
Our car broke down.

-Oh, oh, of course.
-Were wondering if we...

Yes, come in. Come on in.

Great.

I hope were not
interrupting anything.

No, we were just sitting around

wondering what we
were going to do tonight.

Honey, we have guests.

This is Andrew and Monica.

Their car broke down.

Great! Great.

The party was just starting.

-Come on.
-Come on in.

Thanks.

Our guests tonight
are Monica and Andrew.

And well be discussing
the dangers of inviting

complete strangers
into your home.

Stay with US.
Well be right back.

Bud:
This is a marvelous old scotch.

I thought ID break it out

in honor of our change
in circumstances.

Will you have some, uh...?

Monica.

No, thank you, but perhaps
if you have some coffee.

The coffee that we drink
right here on the show.

The show?

Breakfast with the baxters.

Were the baxters.

Its going to be a while
before the tow truck gets here,

so we can wait in the car if...

We dont want to be in the way.

Nonsense.

So youve never seen the show?

What show?

Youre not from around here,
are you?

-(Sighs) No.
-Youve never watched

wzpz channel 14,

the one for Omaha?

-(Andrew chuckles)
-You dont know who we are.

Bud:
Uh, be accurate, darling.

Who we were.

Betsy (chuckles):
Are you hungry?

Let me see what I have here.

Bud:
Strangers on a train, ships

passing through the night.

Meat, meat, meat.

Im gonna make myself
another drink.

You, uh, Andrew?

Ill have one.

Andrew:
A ginger ale, please.

Uh, can I help you
with something?

Well, I suppose
you could chop something.

Theres a knife in that drawer.

I mean, whatever we eat,

well have to chop
something, right?

Were celebrating, Monica.

Monica:
Really?

Oh, well, in that case,
make that two ginger ales.

Were not celebrating
in the strict sense, of course.

We got fired
from our jobs today.

Canned.

Unceremoniously dumped.

I dont think it could have been
any more humiliating

unless they had done it
right on camera

while I was getting
my new winter look.

Of course, these things
can be blessings in disguise.

I mean, whoever thought

wed still be in Omaha
after 15 years?

Right, darling?

That wasnt the plan, was it?

Honey, I dont think
Monica and Andrew

want to hear about our problems.

Youre probably right, honey,
but this is the door

they knocked on
for shelter from the storm,

and this is the shelter
theyre going to get.

And, well, besides that,

itd probably, uh,
be good practice for US

explaining what happened,
working out the story,

refining the humiliating aspects

in front of people
that dont matter.

Well... well,
you know what I mean.

Yeah, yeah, we...
We know what you mean.

What he means is--
and-and im not bragging here;

im just trying to be honest--
see, we are...

-Were.
-...A fixture in this town.

Like a sink or a toilet.

Like a tradition.

Like a traditional toilet.

Its there.
You can count on it.

You dont use it all the time,

but when its not there,
you miss it.

May I please explain
to our guests?

Oh.

Im sorry, I dont think
weve ever had

guests over for dinner before.

Really?
I would have thought...

Oh, well, see,
we have to get up early,

so we go to bed early,

and theres just
no time to entertain.

Early to bed, early to rise,

makes a man healthy,

somewhat wealthy
by Omaha standards,

and ultimately very, very wise.

And here is the wisdom
in a nutshell, Andrew.

Stay up late, sleep in,
and never trust anybody.

What do you mean by that?

I mean, never trust anybody--

anyone, my friend--
or you might find yourself

in Omaha someday
without a traditional pot to...

Betsy:
Porterhouse,

t-bone, filet mignon.

You know what I would like?

Meat loaf.

I cant tell you
how long its been

since ive had meat loaf.

Meat loaf-- the scotch
of the modern housewife.

Its like cream of wheat
or tomato soup.

Its comfort food.

My mom made the best meat loaf.

You cant make meat loaf.

You dont even know how to cook.

Well, what do you think
I was doing

on our show for 15 years
in an apron?

You watched people cook
and asked pertinent questions.

How hot? How long?

Is it always necessary
to preheat?

A grand legacy of broadcasting.

Im going down to the basement.

To cook?

Somewhere down there is a box

with my mothers
meat loaf recipe in it.

She gave it to me
when we got married.

Can you please leave your mother
out of this?

(Door opens)

(Footfalls going downstairs)

So, how long
have you been married?

15 glorious years.

And the show?

A talk show, a kaffeeklatsch
with the folks next door.

15 years, too.

The marriage, the show.

Hard to imagine one
without the other.

Uh, can I, uh, put a little
bourbon in that for you?

Oh, no, no, thank you.

So, what happened
to your chairs?

Chairs?

Yeah, you have a...
The dining table,

but you dont have any chairs.

Ah, yes, well,
there were chairs once,

but Betsy didnt like them.

I havent missed them, really.

Were microwavers mostly.

Early to bed, early to rise.

Exactly.

(Clattering in distance)

What is she doing down there?

(Clattering continues)

What are you doing down there?

Im looking for the box!

(Chuckles)

Oh, basements
are marvelous inventions.

A great place to give things
a decent burial

without actually having
to say theyre dead.

You have a lot of stuff, Monica?

No, not even a basement.

Oh, everybody needs a basement.

I suppose there will be
a box down there soon

with

breakfast with the baxters
written on it.

Youre taking this loss
very calmly.

Well, no use crying
over spilled milk.

Actually, I think
that grieving is a...

-Is a very necessary process.
-I disagree.

Whats done is done,
and you carry on.

Do you?

Of course.

If ID stopped to cry
for everything

that happened to me, well...

I dont believe you can carry on
until you have stopped to cry.

Ah.

Carrying on is an art,

and art requires sacrifice,

but I dont expect
someone without a basement

to understand that.

Here it is-- 1985.

I got that.

Bud:
1985!

The Berlin wall was still up.

Dallas

was still on.

Dallas

was still on.

We were in love.

The lilacs were in bloom.

My mother made
the best meat loaf.

It was tomatoes
and onions and eggs and...

"When lilacs last
in the dooryard bloomd."

Who was that-- Carl sandburg?

Whitman.

It was a poem written about
the assassination of Lincoln.

Monica, uh, would you like
to help sauté the vegetables?

Um, the pans
over here somewhere.

ID be happy to.

Bud:
Lincoln-- now, there

was something to grieve for.

And Kennedy.

I cried for Kennedy.

We were Republicans
and I was ten,

but I still cried
on general principle.

Does that count?

Does what count?

We were discussing grief.

Andrews for; Im against.

"Only the fireborn
understand blue."

Darling, you have to share
the non sequitur with everybody.

Otherwise its rude.

(Sighs)

I just thought of it.

Carl sandburg wrote it.

"Only the fireborn
understand blue."

Only Carl sandburg
understands that line.

No, I do.

When children draw fire,
they use yellow and red crayons,

but fire-- real fire,
the hottest part of the fire--

is at the center,
where its blue.

And only someone
who has survived fire

can understand how dangerous
blue can be.

Thats why they never go
near fire again.

Yes, exactly.

Sounds terribly metaphorical,
Monica.

Metaphorical Monica,

abstaining Andrew,

blue Betsy.

Is that why we never have
a fire in the fireplace?

I dont know.

Monica, you talk like a poet.

Betsy was going to be a poet.

And I was going to be...

Gosh, I forgot.

Do we have that in a box
downstairs, too, honey?

(Laughs)

Um... theres an old
Manila envelope

over there with some
of my poetry in it,

Monica, if youre interested.

Its probably
very sophomoric and silly.

See if you can find
an old recipe.

What was that secret ingredient?

Oregano?

So, Andrew,
are you guys married?

-No.
-Oh, theres plenty of time,

-plenty of time.
-Betsy: You know, you remind me

of a Sunday school teacher
I used to have.

But dont wait too long, because
its a wonderful thing that

-you dont want to miss out on.
-I rather admire people who have

-and you know that
-some form of spirituality,

-single men dont live as long
-some meaning to their lives,

-as married men?
-Beyond themselves,

-and people with pets,
-someone, some standard of

-they live longer.
-Living that you can aspire to.

So I often ask myself,
if youre married with a pet,

does that double your chances
of extending your days

-on this earth? -Someone to be
accountable to, some greater

being that I suppose would
understand you and actually

-or do they simply
-know what youre going through

-cancel each other out?!
-Without judging you!

Oh, im so sorry.

I didnt know that was in there.

Uh... I...

I forgot it was there.

What is that?

What does it look like?

Um...

Just before we started
doing our show,

we were expecting a baby.

But, um... we lost it.

Im so sorry.

Betsy: I bought that the day
I found out I was pregnant,

but I didnt stay pregnant
very long.

Betsy, why dont you put the box
back downstairs, hmm?

No, no.
I want to find that poem,

and I want
to find those recipes.

Theres stuff in here
I need now.

No, you dont.

Leave it alone!

Dont touch it!
Its my stuff!

Well, its my stuff, too.

Betsy:
Well, bud,

now you care.

No, actually, I dont.

I just want
to put the box away.

Of course you do.

God forbid we should even
think about it.

Why dont you go outside
and prune your stupid roses?

You dont know.

You dont know.

Want to bet?

Only the fireborn
understand blue, huh?

You think I havent felt
the heat all these years?

You think I havent
been burned, too?

Do you actually think
im stupid enough to believe

for 15 years
that we lost that baby?

We lost that baby
the same way

we lost

br

eakfast with the baxters.

We lost

br

eakfast with the baxters.

We didnt lose it.

That baby just got canceled,

didnt it?

(Crying)

Didnt it?

You canceled it, didnt you?

(Quietly):
Yes.

(Crying)

(Sobbing)

(Playing slow waltz)

Bud: Theyre not supposed
to live this long

in this kind of weather,

but there it is...

Holding on.

I bet theyre beautiful
in the spring.

(Sighs)

So, uh, what kind of work
do you do, Andrew?

Nonprofit.

Long-term planning,
short-term troubleshooting.

Well, how does that work?

It works just fine, actually.

Speaking of long-term planning,

how long were you planning
on staying out here?

Oh, till I figure it all out,
I guess.

Have you had 15 years
to do that?

Well, I didnt
know the truth before.

Really?

Thats not what
it sounded like in there.

Short-term troubleshooter, huh?

Strangers on a train, right?

Ships passing in the night.

Ill be gone in a few hours.

(Stops playing)

(Sighs)

(Sighs, plays note)

(Resumes playing)

I put the meat loaf in the oven.

I used my own recipe.

I hope you dont mind.

No.

(Sighs)

I cant remember
how the end of this goes.

The

valse triste,

isnt it?

The

valse triste,

isnt it?

Mm-hmm, by sibelius.

Its hard to imagine
a couple dancing

to something called
"the sad waltz."

Its so beautiful, though.

(Betsy stops playing)

Uh, theres a story behind it.

Its, uh...
I cant quite remember it.

Its, uh... (Sighs)

The composer
falling asleep at his piano

and dreaming of his dead mother,

and she comes to him in spirit,

and at that moment,

she is so real and so alive.

And then the dawn comes,
and he has to wake up, and...

She has to go back to wherever
it is they go, and...

Who?

The ones you lose.

They have to go somewhere,
dont they?

Yes.

And thats the part
I cant remember.

The end. (Laughs)

When he wakes up and...

He cant hold on to the dream.

Thats why you should
stay asleep as long as you can.

We were engaged,
living in Boston.

Two very ambitious wannabes

looking for TV news jobs
somewhere,

anywhere, just as long
as we were together.

(Laughs)

But jobs like that
are practically impossible

to find for one person,
you know, let alone two.

And then we get this dream offer

to go to Omaha,
and its perfect.

I mean, it was the big break
that we needed.

So were packing,

getting ourselves ready
to come out here,

and all of a sudden,
she looks up

and tells me shes pregnant.

Not part of the plan.

A hydrogen bomb
dropped directly on the plan.

So I guess I didnt handle it
very well.

I-I didnt want to deal with it.

I wasnt very sensitive.
She got hurt.

Uh, it was just... (Sighs)

Anyway,
I-I ended up going alone

to this wedding
on the vineyard

that we were both supposed
to go to over the weekend.

Then, when I got back...

Thats when she told you
that she...

Lost the baby.

Yeah, she... lost it.

At some clinic, I guess.

I figured, one day,
when she was ready

to talk about it, she would,

but she never
mentioned it again.

And neither did you?

No.

It was just such a relief.

I put it behind me.

And carried on.

Yeah.

I think it saved our marriage.

Bud and I have never really
talked about the...

Baby thing.

And tonight of all nights.

I mean, our show falls apart,
and this has to come up.

It makes perfect sense.

It does?

You experienced
a terrible loss today.

You worked together
for 15 years on something

that was taken away from you
in a moment.

You need to grieve
over that together.

But how can you

when you havent even finished
grieving the loss

that happened before?

I dont feel...

Like I deserve to grieve.

I know what I did,
and I know why I did it.

Sometimes you do things
you think youll never do.

My life started falling apart.

I just wanted to make it stop.

I just didnt know then
what it would feel like now.

We had a plan, you know?

Do the show a couple years,

get our careers going,
the babies would come later.

Its later.

You know, Monica,
they can talk all they want to

about politics
and rights and choices.

And I did.

But when youre in
that little room...

And youre putting
your clothes back on...

...you know that when you
walk out that door,

youre leaving a little piece
of your soul behind,

and you will never
ever get it back.

He leads me
beside still waters.

He restores my soul.

No... not for me.

Not for me.

I would have talked about it

if shed just brought it up,
you know?

But she never did.

Yeah, but neither did you.

She didnt want me to!

Well, how would you know that
if-if you never talked to her?

It was understood!

-Then why are you so angry?
-I dont know!

Maybe because she made
the decision in the first place

without talking to me.

Bud, it sounds like
that you werent

even there for her to talk to.

Hey, she didnt want me there.

Did she say that?

Or was it something
that was, what, understood?

What difference does it make?
It was a long time ago.

You know, I have stood
at this window and imagined

what life would have been like

if there had been
a swing set out there

instead of a Rose garden.

Jackie Kennedy had a Rose garden
and a swing set,

and life still didnt turn out
the way she wanted it to.

She was a hero of mine
when I was little.

All that pain, and she never
let them see her cry.

Good girls dont cry, you mean?

Good girls dont do
a lot of things...

Until they do.

(Sighs)

Betsy (chuckles):
There he goes again,

back and forth,
and back and forth.

What has he got
to be angry about?

Its hard to lose the lie

that youve grown
comfortable with.

But I didnt actually lie
to him.

I didnt actually tell him
the truth, either, but...

He knew all along, didnt he?

He knew,
and he didnt say anything.

He just let me carry it around
inside me for 15 years,

and he never said anything.

He wasnt there for me
when I needed him.

(Door shuts)

He hasnt been there since.

Hes been here in Omaha.

God, will we ever get out
of Omaha?

Im going out.

Of course you are.
Dont forget your coat.

What is that supposed to mean?

That means that you always
forget your coat

when you make one
of your little escapes.

I am not escaping.

Now, you got something
you want to say, say it.

You went to the wedding,
you came back,

you never asked me
what happened.

You didnt want me to.

Bull!
You didnt want to know

because you didnt want
to share the responsibility.

It wasnt my body!

It was your child.

Oh, right.

That is so typical.

Its your body
and its your decision

until you want somebody
to blame!

Im not trying to blame anybody.

Im just trying
to deal with this.

15 years later, and youre
still dealing with it?

Come on!

You didnt want that baby
any more than I do! Did!

Do you hear yourself?

What?
Are you analyzing me now?

Im the bad guy, right?

Its all about me?

Well, let me make it
easier for you!

Im taking me out
of the picture!

The shows over, and so are we!

Now, where are the suitcases?

The basement.

Figures.

You know, that may well be
the first fire

thats ever been in there.

Theres something about a fire

that changes the room,
dont you think?

Mm-hmm.
It adds a certain life.

Meat loaf smells good.

Oh, I hope it tastes good.

Im not a very good cook.

Well, youd have
to try pretty hard

to mess up a meat loaf.

Thats what my mother
always said anyway.

Oh, I found it.

-The recipe?
-Mm-hmm.

So, what was
the secret ingredient?

You know, I looked,

but I dont see
anything special in there.

Maybe it just tasted better
because it was my moms.

Im sure youre right.

And im a packrat
just like she was.

I have saved everything:

Recipes and clippings, poetry...

Little souvenirs to pass on
to someone someday.

Arent you tired
of listening to me?

Not at all.

Well, I am.

Betsy, what are you doing?

What does it look like?

Does this make you feel better?

Monica, I cant feel anything
at all.

Betsy, please dont.

I never was much of a poet.

Would you like to do the honors?

(Sighs)

Have you heard
of post-abortion syndrome?

Difficulty sleeping,

difficulty with intimacy,

workaholism,

inability to relax,

inability to bond
with children and husbands,

difficulty feeling
anything at all.

And it can go on
for years, Betsy.

Five, ten, even 15.

But thats the price you pay.

No, its a consequence
of a choice that you make.

Its not a punishment from god.

Thats not how he works.

You believe in god, dont you?

Yes, I do.

And if you were me
and you prayed to god,

what would he tell you to do?

I believe that he would ask you
to open your heart to him,

to tell him how you feel
and to ask him to help you heal.

That means you have
to talk, Betsy.

Really talk...
To god and to your husband.

Losing your job today
may have been a blessing.

Now youre both back
where you started,

with a chance
of a new beginning,

only it needs forgiveness.

You ask for it, and you give it.

I tried to talk
to bud about it once,

but I didnt know how to start,

so I wrote him a poem,

but I couldnt give it to him.

Well, you can give it
to him now.

I cant.

I just burned it.

Is this it?

How did you...?

It wasnt too late.

(Footsteps approaching)

You found them?

Yeah.

Off to the bedroom
to pack your new winter look?

Seems sort of appropriate
that we do this

in front of an audience,
doesnt it?

Before we leave, may I...
May I ask a question?

What?

Well, its just that I still
dont understand

why you never had any chairs
around your dining room table.

Well, for god sakes,
wed better get that settled

before I leave this marriage.

-Anybody want to take that?
-Betsy: Yes.

We did have chairs once.

It was our first dinner together
in our new home,

and I lit the candles
and we sat down,

and there was
this terrible silence.

We just didnt
have anything to say.

No, we had everything to say.

We were just afraid to start.

And bud stood up
in the middle of dinner,

and he announced that the chairs

just werent too comfortable.

And he walked into the kitchen
and he finished his dinner

right at the kitchen counter.

And I... I sat there

all by myself at the table...

...and I knew we would never
ever find the right chairs.

(Sighs)

I cant do this.

I just dont see
the point in it.

The point is that I love you
and you love me.

I know it!

Oh, buddy, there is something
to fight for.

We have to yell and scream
and cry if thats what it takes.

But... but, buddy, listen.

Just... just listen to this.

I wrote this years ago for you,
but I just could never...

Just listen!

Monica, please.

"Let me break it in half
and give some to you.

"I cannot eat it all
day after day.

"I swallow our sin,
gagging on pieces of my grief,

"conceived without hunger,
delivered without grace.

"It is never enough
to fill this empty belly.

"Come, sit at the table

"and share this terrible
communion we have prepared.

"This is my body,
this is your wine,

"say the words, taste the blood,

"and lets finish this meal.

"May I please be excused
to sit by the fire

"and rock the
invisible sorrow to sleep,

"until the flames die

and the faces in the blue
go away?"

(Sobs softly)

Im sorry, bets.

I am.

Im so sorry.

Dont you understand
why I cant talk about it?

Im afraid, bets.

Im so afraid,
if I start to talk,

ill start to cry.

Ill cry about who we were...

And who we lost,

and then ill just lose it
and ill just go crazy.

So I go outside
and I grab a shovel

and I plant
another rosebush instead.

My god.

I cant start crying
or ill go someplace crazy,

(sobbing):
And I wont find my way back.

Yes, you will.

The journey back
has already begun.

Youve been entertaining angels.

We are angels.

Messengers from god.

Why?

Because god loves you.

He knows everything,
and he still loves you.

God could have made
a very different

kind of world, you know,

with people
who never made mistakes,

never thought for themselves

and did only what god
wanted them to do all the time,

but then there wouldnt
have been any free will.

And without the freedom to love,
love is not a choice,

and that is a choice
that god gives you every day.

But I didnt take it, did I?

Betsy, 15 years ago,
you made a choice.

And, bud, one way or another,

you helped her
to make that choice,

and god did not send US here

to judge you
and punish you for that.

God wants you to know
that he is life itself,

and that he holds all the life
there was and is

and is to be
in his hand already.

And yes, there was a future
that might have been

that you chose to change.

And for whatever reason,

you chose not to include god
in that decision.

But he asks you now
to include him

in the next one that you make,

because he understands
your pain,

because no one knows better
the invisible sorrow

that you still carry
in your hearts,

and no one wants
to heal you more.

All you have to do is sit down
at your table together

and invite him to join you.

Are you ready to go?

Yes.

Something tells me that car
is going to start right up.

Good night.

Good-bye.

Thank you.

(Dove coos)