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1
00:00:30,545 --> 00:00:32,937
"'til death" is filmed in front
of a live studio audience.
2
00:00:33,936 --> 00:00:35,161
Welcome to starlight
theaters.
3
00:00:35,537 --> 00:00:37,186
Please feel free to
visit our wine bar,
4
00:00:37,658 --> 00:00:39,957
and here's our menu so you
can peruse our dining options.
5
00:00:40,450 --> 00:00:42,362
Hey, I'll order the food.
You go save some seats for us.
6
00:00:42,762 --> 00:00:43,490
No need to, my friend.
7
00:00:44,306 --> 00:00:46,597
Our seats are reserved.
You're in 13. I'm in 15.
8
00:00:46,945 --> 00:00:48,698
Who's in 14?
9
00:00:49,274 --> 00:00:51,330
Nobody. That's our "we're
not gay" buffer seat.
10
00:00:53,418 --> 00:00:54,146
Woman on speaker:
"death plus one,"
11
00:00:54,658 --> 00:00:57,522
starring jet li, forest
whitaker, and amanda bynes,
12
00:00:58,067 --> 00:00:59,587
will be starting
in 5 minutes.
13
00:01:00,209 --> 00:01:01,363
All right.
That's us.
14
00:01:01,692 --> 00:01:02,251
I'm gonna hit
the can
15
00:01:03,292 --> 00:01:03,630
ok.
16
00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:13,883
Video: coming soon
to starlight theaters...
17
00:01:14,531 --> 00:01:15,827
grandma, we're here!
18
00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:17,332
well, hello,
children.
19
00:01:24,488 --> 00:01:25,320
let's go
in the attic.
20
00:01:26,008 --> 00:01:27,719
but grandma said
never to go up there.
21
00:01:28,144 --> 00:01:29,271
what?
Are you chicken?
22
00:01:29,919 --> 00:01:30,543
no.
23
00:01:31,376 --> 00:01:34,607
Don't go up there, children.
Listen to your nana.
24
00:01:35,536 --> 00:01:36,632
look.
I found my old dolly.
25
00:01:42,312 --> 00:01:43,384
grandma's attic.
26
00:01:44,032 --> 00:01:46,331
Don't go up there
this christmas.
27
00:02:01,770 --> 00:02:02,434
I'm spiderman.
28
00:02:19,210 --> 00:02:20,420
I'm spiderman.
29
00:02:29,615 --> 00:02:30,399
Well, I'm
pretty sure
30
00:02:30,895 --> 00:02:32,440
that my pee just turned
on a flat-screen tv.
31
00:02:33,888 --> 00:02:36,561
I'll tell you, a world where
my penis is a remote control
32
00:02:36,944 --> 00:02:38,270
is a world that I
want to live in.
33
00:02:39,423 --> 00:02:40,607
So, where's the food?
34
00:02:41,143 --> 00:02:42,103
Yeah, change
of plans, man.
35
00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:43,743
We're out of here.
This place is racist.
36
00:02:44,311 --> 00:02:45,223
What?
What happened?
37
00:02:45,607 --> 00:02:46,463
I'm in front
of the line,
38
00:02:46,831 --> 00:02:47,263
waiting to place
my order.
39
00:02:47,615 --> 00:02:47,935
The cashier skips
right over me
40
00:02:49,310 --> 00:02:50,663
to help some white guy
on line behind me.
41
00:02:51,167 --> 00:02:51,823
Really?
42
00:02:53,199 --> 00:02:54,767
Looked right through me
like I was a ghost.
43
00:02:55,111 --> 00:02:56,575
But not a white ghost. She
would have served a white ghost.
44
00:02:58,255 --> 00:02:58,567
Let's get out
of here, man.
45
00:02:58,887 --> 00:02:59,663
No, no.
There's no way.
46
00:03:00,031 --> 00:03:01,391
I'm not gonna let them
treat you like that.
47
00:03:02,423 --> 00:03:03,760
Excuse me. We'd like
to see a manager, please.
48
00:03:04,152 --> 00:03:05,678
I'm the manager.
Is there a problem?
49
00:03:06,392 --> 00:03:07,535
Yes, there is
a problem.
50
00:03:08,143 --> 00:03:09,199
There has been
a racial incident.
51
00:03:09,607 --> 00:03:10,351
You got a problem
with him,
52
00:03:10,687 --> 00:03:11,599
you got a problem
with your staff,
53
00:03:11,991 --> 00:03:12,975
and now you got
a problem with me.
54
00:03:13,383 --> 00:03:14,287
Tell him what
happened, kenny.
55
00:03:14,615 --> 00:03:15,639
I'm first in line at
the concession stand.
56
00:03:16,007 --> 00:03:16,735
Customer number one.
57
00:03:18,231 --> 00:03:19,063
There's a white guy
standing in line behind me.
58
00:03:19,703 --> 00:03:20,504
White as banjo music.
59
00:03:24,342 --> 00:03:25,767
And that lady right
there asked what I wanted,
60
00:03:26,319 --> 00:03:27,479
and I said,
"i am not sure."
61
00:03:27,895 --> 00:03:28,535
He was not sure.
62
00:03:34,111 --> 00:03:34,951
So I look at the menu
for a minute,
63
00:03:35,239 --> 00:03:36,367
trying to figure out
what I wanted to eat.
64
00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:38,367
The cashier lady
skips right over me
65
00:03:38,968 --> 00:03:40,542
to help this white guy
sitting right there.
66
00:03:48,575 --> 00:03:50,607
Well, I do apologize,
but seeing as how
67
00:03:50,967 --> 00:03:51,919
you weren't actually
ready to order
68
00:03:52,335 --> 00:03:53,439
and the gentleman
behind you
69
00:03:53,735 --> 00:03:54,999
clearly has trouble
standing up,
70
00:03:56,312 --> 00:03:58,624
i'm just wondering
if it was truly racism
71
00:03:59,088 --> 00:04:01,833
or maybe just perhaps
bad service.
72
00:04:07,823 --> 00:04:09,935
You know what? I think
you might be right.
73
00:04:11,255 --> 00:04:12,327
It was bad service.
74
00:04:13,191 --> 00:04:14,727
400 years
of bad service!
75
00:04:15,654 --> 00:04:17,095
We are never coming
in here again
76
00:04:17,767 --> 00:04:19,111
because this place
is racist!
77
00:04:20,063 --> 00:04:20,783
Right, eddie?
78
00:04:22,911 --> 00:04:25,519
Y...we out this bitch.
79
00:04:41,595 --> 00:04:42,479
Oh, good.
You're home.
80
00:04:42,768 --> 00:04:43,471
Come on.
Let's go.
81
00:04:45,231 --> 00:04:46,055
I was just
on their website,
82
00:04:46,479 --> 00:04:48,287
and they have
a wine bar.
83
00:04:49,127 --> 00:04:51,184
They actually let you
take it into the theater.
84
00:04:51,712 --> 00:04:52,527
They encourage it.
85
00:04:53,416 --> 00:04:54,359
I mean, I don't
have to smuggle in
86
00:04:54,727 --> 00:04:56,409
my magic sippy cup
anymore, eddie.
87
00:04:57,024 --> 00:04:59,246
This is my day.
This is my day!
88
00:05:00,551 --> 00:05:02,887
Yeah, about that...
We can't go there, ever.
89
00:05:03,231 --> 00:05:05,047
What? Why?
90
00:05:05,383 --> 00:05:06,831
Well, I was there
with kenny this afternoon,
91
00:05:07,152 --> 00:05:10,112
and there was a pretty ugly
racial incident.
92
00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:13,802
Oh, god. Did you
call him rerun again?
93
00:05:16,151 --> 00:05:17,679
He calls me jewish bigfoot.
94
00:05:20,216 --> 00:05:21,759
No, it wasn't
between me and him.
95
00:05:23,007 --> 00:05:23,487
What happened?
96
00:05:23,831 --> 00:05:25,808
All right. Well, kenny was
in line to get us some food,
97
00:05:26,439 --> 00:05:27,921
and he wasn't sure
what he wanted to order,
98
00:05:28,367 --> 00:05:29,983
so the cashier
skipped over him
99
00:05:30,399 --> 00:05:32,750
and went to the white guy
behind him.
100
00:05:33,095 --> 00:05:35,217
It was unconscionable!
101
00:05:37,521 --> 00:05:39,962
Ok. But he wasn't
ready to order.
102
00:05:40,921 --> 00:05:42,265
I've been to restaurants with kenny.
103
00:05:42,586 --> 00:05:43,297
He does take
a long time.
104
00:05:43,633 --> 00:05:44,985
I got to be honest. It
doesn't sound racist to me.
105
00:05:47,778 --> 00:05:48,168
I know!
106
00:05:49,345 --> 00:05:53,186
It's clearly not racist,
not even a little bit!
107
00:05:53,617 --> 00:05:54,825
I mean, he didn't know
what he wanted.
108
00:05:55,361 --> 00:05:57,322
The guy behind him
was a thousand years old.
109
00:05:58,097 --> 00:06:00,001
There were dozens
of black people there
110
00:06:00,313 --> 00:06:02,665
being served delicious
panis without incident.
111
00:06:03,362 --> 00:06:05,624
It was like Dr. King's
dream over there.
112
00:06:07,513 --> 00:06:08,961
Ok. So what
i'm hearing is
113
00:06:09,473 --> 00:06:10,513
kenny thought
it was something,
114
00:06:11,057 --> 00:06:12,121
it wasn't,
and I think
115
00:06:12,465 --> 00:06:13,465
you just said that
they had paninis.
116
00:06:14,162 --> 00:06:14,473
So let's go.
117
00:06:14,841 --> 00:06:15,697
No, you don't
understand, joy.
118
00:06:16,057 --> 00:06:17,314
I cannot
go back there.
119
00:06:17,609 --> 00:06:18,649
I don't understand
why you can't go back.
120
00:06:18,978 --> 00:06:20,722
You just admitted
that it wasn't racist.
121
00:06:21,313 --> 00:06:22,818
To you, not to him.
122
00:06:23,905 --> 00:06:26,497
I stuck up for him
pretty big over there, joy.
123
00:06:26,865 --> 00:06:28,737
I mean, I was
calling over managers.
124
00:06:29,034 --> 00:06:29,865
I was dressing
them down.
125
00:06:30,185 --> 00:06:31,481
I think I even called
someone a honkey.
126
00:06:34,889 --> 00:06:35,722
I can't believe this.
127
00:06:37,993 --> 00:06:39,535
This movie theater
is 5 minutes away.
128
00:06:40,007 --> 00:06:40,639
It's brand-new.
129
00:06:40,935 --> 00:06:42,279
I know, but look, honey,
we can still go out.
130
00:06:42,695 --> 00:06:43,071
We'll just go to the theater
next to the karate studio.
131
00:06:45,703 --> 00:06:46,039
no.
132
00:06:48,799 --> 00:06:50,359
I can't go back to
drinking purse wine.
133
00:06:53,263 --> 00:06:55,079
I want to be classy.
Let me get drunk
134
00:06:55,359 --> 00:06:56,808
at the movies with
dignity, please.
135
00:06:57,479 --> 00:06:58,870
No. Listen.
Come on, honey.
136
00:06:59,199 --> 00:07:00,143
That other theater
is not that bad.
137
00:07:01,111 --> 00:07:03,280
The board of health blew
up their hot-dog machine.
138
00:07:05,558 --> 00:07:06,222
Come on. You just...
139
00:07:06,551 --> 00:07:07,342
You've got to
tell kenny
140
00:07:07,637 --> 00:07:09,598
that this wasn't racist
and end this, ok?
141
00:07:09,925 --> 00:07:11,134
Ok, joy, look.
Maybe you've forgotten,
142
00:07:11,493 --> 00:07:12,757
but under this
freakishly dark
143
00:07:13,094 --> 00:07:16,647
but natural tan,
i'm actually white.
144
00:07:18,581 --> 00:07:20,590
So I can't go to
my black friend's house
145
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:22,894
and tell him what is
and is not racist.
146
00:07:23,382 --> 00:07:24,496
But it wasn't.
But he's black.
147
00:07:25,088 --> 00:07:25,608
But it--
Black!
148
00:07:27,344 --> 00:07:27,728
But--
Bup, bup, bup!
149
00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:29,404
Listen, please.
150
00:07:30,288 --> 00:07:31,375
I can't do this.
151
00:07:32,791 --> 00:07:34,375
If kenny is a really
good friend of yours,
152
00:07:34,703 --> 00:07:35,448
and I know that he is,
153
00:07:35,799 --> 00:07:37,264
you can just
be honest with him.
154
00:07:37,808 --> 00:07:38,944
I mean, what
are you going to do?
155
00:07:39,224 --> 00:07:40,481
You gonna tiptoe around him
the rest of your life?
156
00:07:42,952 --> 00:07:44,664
All right. Ok.
157
00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:47,720
You know what?
You're right.
158
00:07:48,127 --> 00:07:49,807
I'm just worried
about being offensive.
159
00:07:50,439 --> 00:07:51,671
Since when are you worried
about being offensive?
160
00:07:53,551 --> 00:07:54,671
Last week, you said
I looked like
161
00:07:54,999 --> 00:07:56,024
weird al yankovic
from behind.
162
00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:00,227
That man has beautiful
hair and a tiny ass.
163
00:08:00,736 --> 00:08:02,520
So learn how to
take a compliment.
164
00:08:10,128 --> 00:08:10,448
Let me ask you guys
a question, man.
165
00:08:11,707 --> 00:08:13,308
How come on "idol"
when they kick a guy off,
166
00:08:13,604 --> 00:08:15,299
they always make them sing
one more song before they go?
167
00:08:16,428 --> 00:08:18,197
Where else in life
does this happen?
168
00:08:19,380 --> 00:08:20,380
You don't fire a kid
169
00:08:20,827 --> 00:08:21,675
from a fast-food joint
and tell them,
170
00:08:22,131 --> 00:08:23,452
"hey, dave, I know
I just fired you,
171
00:08:23,883 --> 00:08:25,228
"but I need you to get
back in that kitchen,
172
00:08:25,604 --> 00:08:27,332
put on that apron, and fry me
one more burger before you go."
173
00:08:30,436 --> 00:08:30,996
What the hell?
174
00:08:31,276 --> 00:08:32,172
And then they make
this poor chump
175
00:08:32,468 --> 00:08:34,060
sing the same song
that got him
176
00:08:34,348 --> 00:08:35,212
kicked off
in the first place.
177
00:08:37,172 --> 00:08:38,332
They're like, "yeah.
That song you sang
178
00:08:39,012 --> 00:08:40,461
"was so horrible
and embarrassing,
179
00:08:40,980 --> 00:08:41,963
"we never want to
see you again.
180
00:08:43,291 --> 00:08:44,644
"but before we kick
your ass out,
181
00:08:45,140 --> 00:08:46,003
"why don't you sing it
one more time
182
00:08:46,428 --> 00:08:47,396
while the rest of these
people fake-cry behind you?"
183
00:08:52,020 --> 00:08:52,564
who is it?!
184
00:08:59,283 --> 00:08:59,804
hey.
How are you?
185
00:09:00,156 --> 00:09:01,212
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't know
186
00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:02,997
you were having
a...a meeting.
187
00:09:04,676 --> 00:09:07,476
I could...
Come back another time.
188
00:09:08,020 --> 00:09:09,371
No, it's ok, eddie.
What brings you by?
189
00:09:10,779 --> 00:09:12,467
Well, i, uh...
190
00:09:13,012 --> 00:09:13,995
Wait. This is eddie?
This is the dude.
191
00:09:14,835 --> 00:09:16,980
What you did in that
theater, man, very cool.
192
00:09:17,868 --> 00:09:18,260
It was?
193
00:09:18,796 --> 00:09:19,324
Real cool.
194
00:09:21,100 --> 00:09:21,876
You know what?
You all right.
195
00:09:22,171 --> 00:09:23,085
Yeah, man.
Yeah, man.
196
00:09:30,046 --> 00:09:31,998
I am all right,
aren't i?
197
00:09:32,366 --> 00:09:34,734
Have a seat, man.
I'm going to get you a beer.
198
00:09:35,134 --> 00:09:35,774
Great.
Thank you.
199
00:09:36,102 --> 00:09:37,869
Hey, kenny, we should invite
him to dinner tomorrow night.
200
00:09:38,877 --> 00:09:40,214
How do you feel about
chicken and waffles?
201
00:09:40,687 --> 00:09:41,469
At the same restaurant?
202
00:09:41,941 --> 00:09:42,606
On the same plate!
203
00:09:43,598 --> 00:09:45,198
Shut...up.
204
00:09:53,142 --> 00:09:55,358
Uh! This theater
is disgusting.
205
00:10:01,398 --> 00:10:02,230
Oh, stop complaining.
206
00:10:02,558 --> 00:10:03,790
You're going to be drunk
in a few minutes anyway.
207
00:10:06,918 --> 00:10:07,350
What the--
208
00:10:07,790 --> 00:10:08,294
Hey. Ow!
209
00:10:09,374 --> 00:10:10,190
Uh, there's
a person here.
210
00:10:13,022 --> 00:10:14,149
I can't believe you
chickened out with kenny.
211
00:10:14,806 --> 00:10:15,846
I didn't chicken out.
What happened
212
00:10:16,182 --> 00:10:17,926
in that theater
was very, very wrong.
213
00:10:18,446 --> 00:10:19,510
But you know what?
Quite frankly, I don't
214
00:10:19,822 --> 00:10:20,750
expect a white girl
like you to understand.
215
00:10:23,365 --> 00:10:24,773
Yeah? What I do understand
is you're a wuss.
216
00:10:25,349 --> 00:10:26,349
And something is
licking my ankle!
217
00:10:28,054 --> 00:10:29,341
Listen, joy, what
happened was wrong.
218
00:10:29,894 --> 00:10:31,405
Hey, look, don't take
my word for it.
219
00:10:31,758 --> 00:10:32,534
Let's go to a man
on the street.
220
00:10:32,870 --> 00:10:33,934
Please don't.
Please don't.
221
00:10:34,246 --> 00:10:35,038
Excuse me. Sir?
222
00:10:36,622 --> 00:10:38,377
Hi. I couldn't
help noticing
223
00:10:38,786 --> 00:10:39,409
that you're black.
224
00:10:42,081 --> 00:10:42,441
What?
225
00:10:43,122 --> 00:10:45,242
No, no, no.
I just was wondering
226
00:10:45,610 --> 00:10:48,171
if you can answer a
race-related question for me.
227
00:10:49,002 --> 00:10:50,098
Oh, so because
i'm black,
228
00:10:51,298 --> 00:10:52,338
you think I speak
for all black people?
229
00:10:52,714 --> 00:10:55,034
No, don't get that way.
I love you guys.
230
00:10:55,985 --> 00:10:56,617
"you guys"?
231
00:10:58,161 --> 00:10:59,537
I think we're done
talking now.
232
00:11:00,849 --> 00:11:01,442
ok.
233
00:11:04,770 --> 00:11:05,554
That went well.
234
00:11:06,274 --> 00:11:06,914
I don't need him.
235
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:08,562
I got tons
of black friends.
236
00:11:10,138 --> 00:11:11,162
You are
unbelievable.
237
00:11:16,161 --> 00:11:17,586
Oh, god.
I spilled my wine.
238
00:11:26,193 --> 00:11:27,217
that was the worst date
I ever had.
239
00:11:28,097 --> 00:11:29,449
That includes the time
240
00:11:29,761 --> 00:11:31,905
that I accidentally answered
my uncle's personal ad.
241
00:11:33,937 --> 00:11:35,010
Come on.
It wasn't that bad.
242
00:11:35,474 --> 00:11:36,698
Eddie, I sat
on a syringe.
243
00:11:38,081 --> 00:11:40,273
It wasn't a syringe.
It was a rusty spring,
244
00:11:40,889 --> 00:11:42,065
and it barely
broke the skin.
245
00:11:42,905 --> 00:11:44,289
Look, I'll tell you what.
Call your doctor,
246
00:11:44,649 --> 00:11:46,449
set up your tetanus shot,
and I'll meet you upstairs
247
00:11:46,779 --> 00:11:47,801
for a little
nookie-nookie.
248
00:11:49,378 --> 00:11:50,569
Come here.
Come here.
249
00:11:50,937 --> 00:11:51,586
No nookie!
250
00:11:53,977 --> 00:11:54,585
Ok, look...
251
00:11:54,986 --> 00:11:55,755
The place is awful.
I know.
252
00:11:56,107 --> 00:11:57,749
We got to figure out a way
to get to that new theater.
253
00:11:58,467 --> 00:11:59,635
But we can't be seen.
254
00:11:59,980 --> 00:12:01,980
I mean, we can't go back
as joy and eddie stark.
255
00:12:03,539 --> 00:12:10,317
But...we could go as vickie
and marcel charboneaux, huh?
256
00:12:11,412 --> 00:12:13,091
I'll go grab
my eye patch.
257
00:12:15,799 --> 00:12:16,415
hey.
258
00:12:16,863 --> 00:12:17,903
We just wanted to make
sure you guys were ok.
259
00:12:18,719 --> 00:12:19,367
Yeah. We heard
the police raided
260
00:12:19,719 --> 00:12:21,024
that theater
by my dojo.
261
00:12:21,552 --> 00:12:24,407
Yeah. Turns out it's not
the box office making the money.
262
00:12:24,928 --> 00:12:27,639
It's one pretty magical
men's room stall.
263
00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:40,047
It is such a shame you guys
can't come to the new place.
264
00:12:40,768 --> 00:12:44,336
It really is incredible.
The bathroom's fully automated.
265
00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:46,264
I don't have to touch
anything, except myself.
266
00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:49,281
Maybe you could stick to that
rule while you're in here.
267
00:12:54,471 --> 00:12:55,871
I don't know why
you don't just
268
00:12:56,207 --> 00:12:57,127
explain to kenny
how you feel.
269
00:12:58,431 --> 00:13:00,087
Well, I tried
talking to him,
270
00:13:00,423 --> 00:13:01,320
but then I got over there,
and I realized
271
00:13:01,736 --> 00:13:04,049
i'm not any good at talking.
I'm not a chick.
272
00:13:06,143 --> 00:13:08,599
You know, sometimes it helps
if you try role-playing.
273
00:13:09,151 --> 00:13:10,609
Why don't you practice on me
and pretend I'm kenny?
274
00:13:11,239 --> 00:13:13,376
Kenny who? Kenny rogers?
275
00:13:15,343 --> 00:13:17,416
Because you couldn't
be any whiter.
276
00:13:18,519 --> 00:13:20,007
It's role-playing, eddie.
277
00:13:20,287 --> 00:13:21,263
It's gonna help you say
what you want to say
278
00:13:21,567 --> 00:13:23,976
in a friendly,
nonconfrontational environment.
279
00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:25,800
All right. Fine.
280
00:13:26,135 --> 00:13:27,039
Great. Ok.
281
00:13:31,679 --> 00:13:32,488
Hello, eddie.
282
00:13:38,903 --> 00:13:39,951
Was there maybe
something
283
00:13:40,295 --> 00:13:41,007
you wanted
to say to me?
284
00:13:42,008 --> 00:13:43,567
Not really.
Come on, eddie!
285
00:13:44,071 --> 00:13:45,135
All right.
All right. Fine.
286
00:13:45,418 --> 00:13:47,792
Look. I...kenny,
I wanted to tell you
287
00:13:48,231 --> 00:13:51,120
that I'm not entirely sure
that what happened
288
00:13:51,472 --> 00:13:53,519
at the movie theater
was racist.
289
00:13:55,183 --> 00:13:57,521
Oh. Well, I know how hard
it was for you to say that,
290
00:13:57,839 --> 00:13:58,823
and I appreciate
your honesty.
291
00:14:01,519 --> 00:14:02,912
And I appreciate yours.
292
00:14:04,591 --> 00:14:05,271
This is going
pretty well.
293
00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:10,703
Now, let me ask you
a question.
294
00:14:11,791 --> 00:14:13,201
What makes you think,
as a white man,
295
00:14:13,703 --> 00:14:16,184
you have any idea what I
go through as a black man?
296
00:14:22,383 --> 00:14:22,903
What?
297
00:14:24,903 --> 00:14:25,743
Have you ever
been pulled over
298
00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:27,223
even though you're driving
under the speed limit?
299
00:14:27,647 --> 00:14:28,791
You ever been followed
around a store
300
00:14:29,112 --> 00:14:30,743
because the security guard
thinks you stole something?
301
00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:32,559
You ever get weird looks
when you walk
302
00:14:32,855 --> 00:14:33,903
into a restaurant
with your white wife?
303
00:14:34,599 --> 00:14:35,503
Huh? That's right.
304
00:14:36,528 --> 00:14:38,232
Is this making you
uncomfortable? Huh?
305
00:14:40,407 --> 00:14:42,328
Uh...it's making me
pretty uncomfortable.
306
00:14:44,072 --> 00:14:45,160
Ok. You guys should
probably go.
307
00:14:53,567 --> 00:14:55,031
Did you take the
newspaper out of the john?
308
00:14:55,655 --> 00:14:56,432
Because I was
just stuck
309
00:14:56,759 --> 00:14:57,448
for the last
20 minutes
310
00:14:57,776 --> 00:14:58,808
reading the back of
your dental floss.
311
00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:01,519
Just looking
at all the movies
312
00:15:01,847 --> 00:15:02,383
i'll never be
able to see.
313
00:15:02,999 --> 00:15:03,751
So, listen,
i'm going to go
314
00:15:04,079 --> 00:15:04,871
to the chicken
and waffles place
315
00:15:05,223 --> 00:15:06,823
and meet up with kenny and
the other guys, all right?
316
00:15:07,895 --> 00:15:09,615
Ok. Have fun.
Order fast.
317
00:15:10,375 --> 00:15:11,712
I'd hate for them
to skip over you
318
00:15:12,135 --> 00:15:13,092
and take the black
guy's order,
319
00:15:13,540 --> 00:15:14,195
cause a big racial
incident.
320
00:15:15,171 --> 00:15:15,923
All right. Very funny.
321
00:15:18,507 --> 00:15:20,331
Oh, my god. That's it.
322
00:15:21,299 --> 00:15:23,317
When I'm there, I'll
take forever to order,
323
00:15:23,683 --> 00:15:24,867
and then they'll
skip over me
324
00:15:25,459 --> 00:15:27,083
in the same way that
they skipped over kenny
325
00:15:27,500 --> 00:15:28,579
when he was
at the movie theater,
326
00:15:28,996 --> 00:15:30,796
and then he'll realize
this happens everywhere.
327
00:15:31,171 --> 00:15:32,563
Boom. Problem solved.
328
00:15:33,619 --> 00:15:34,995
Hmm. Good luck
with that.
329
00:15:36,059 --> 00:15:37,259
I'm telling you, joy-joy,
this is going to work.
330
00:15:37,635 --> 00:15:38,388
You know what
I want you to do?
331
00:15:38,699 --> 00:15:40,467
I want you to slap on
some makeup, put on a bra,
332
00:15:40,780 --> 00:15:42,219
and I'm taking my lady
to the movies tonight.
333
00:15:43,035 --> 00:15:43,747
I'm wearing a bra.
334
00:15:48,596 --> 00:15:49,373
Sorry.
335
00:15:56,757 --> 00:15:58,310
Welcome to mabel's
chicken and waffles.
336
00:15:58,646 --> 00:15:59,286
May I take
your order?
337
00:15:59,678 --> 00:16:00,173
Chicken and waffles.
338
00:16:00,549 --> 00:16:00,917
Chicken
and waffles.
339
00:16:01,806 --> 00:16:03,477
Welcome to mabel's
chicken and waffles.
340
00:16:03,869 --> 00:16:04,437
May I take
your order?
341
00:16:04,749 --> 00:16:05,181
Chicken and waffles.
342
00:16:05,557 --> 00:16:05,901
Chicken
and waffles.
343
00:16:08,141 --> 00:16:08,613
Welcome to mabel's
chicken and waffles.
344
00:16:09,022 --> 00:16:09,534
May I take
your order?
345
00:16:10,806 --> 00:16:12,792
I do not know.
346
00:16:14,367 --> 00:16:16,487
I do not know.
347
00:16:19,696 --> 00:16:20,511
You know, this is
348
00:16:20,799 --> 00:16:21,263
probably be a little
frustrating on you
349
00:16:22,791 --> 00:16:23,399
It's gonna be hard.
Yeah, it is.
350
00:16:24,719 --> 00:16:26,111
It's just that I think
351
00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:28,264
we all need to
roll up our sleeves
352
00:16:28,808 --> 00:16:31,265
and just get down
to the serious business
353
00:16:31,719 --> 00:16:32,903
of what to eat.
354
00:16:35,279 --> 00:16:36,815
Gosh, it all looks
delicious. It does.
355
00:16:37,335 --> 00:16:38,943
You know
what I'm gonna do?
356
00:16:39,631 --> 00:16:40,303
I'm gonna go out
on a limb here
357
00:16:40,663 --> 00:16:42,736
and take a shot
at the giblets.
358
00:16:43,575 --> 00:16:43,968
Giblet plate.
359
00:16:44,416 --> 00:16:45,280
No. You know what?
Cancel that.
360
00:16:45,767 --> 00:16:46,575
Not gonna do the giblets.
361
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:47,568
Cancel giblets.
362
00:16:48,399 --> 00:16:48,815
Let me see...
363
00:16:49,663 --> 00:16:52,801
What can you tell me
about the potato salad?
364
00:16:53,559 --> 00:16:54,879
Well, we parboil
red potatoes,
365
00:16:55,159 --> 00:16:56,087
we dice them
and toss them
366
00:16:56,503 --> 00:16:57,551
with tarragon,
mayonnaise, dijon mustard,
367
00:16:57,943 --> 00:16:59,810
and just a kiss of
apple cider vinegar.
368
00:17:01,401 --> 00:17:02,409
nah.
369
00:17:05,305 --> 00:17:06,961
This must be excruciating
for you, huh?
370
00:17:07,793 --> 00:17:08,761
You take as long
as you need, baby.
371
00:17:10,641 --> 00:17:13,434
Ah, you're a...
372
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:16,283
You're a frustratingly
patient person.
373
00:17:16,876 --> 00:17:18,396
You really are.
This is...
374
00:17:18,771 --> 00:17:20,859
This must be driving you
crazy, huh?
375
00:17:22,467 --> 00:17:23,835
Anybody? No?
376
00:17:24,683 --> 00:17:25,908
Just take your time.
377
00:17:27,939 --> 00:17:30,459
Ok. What the hell
is going on here?
378
00:17:30,972 --> 00:17:32,084
How could you
put up with this?
379
00:17:32,356 --> 00:17:33,540
Why aren't you
skipping over me?
380
00:17:34,076 --> 00:17:35,107
Because you were
next, darling.
381
00:17:35,683 --> 00:17:37,509
No, I know that
I was next...dear.
382
00:17:38,235 --> 00:17:40,571
But when someone takes
this long to order,
383
00:17:41,035 --> 00:17:43,549
you have the right to go
to the person behind him.
384
00:17:45,540 --> 00:17:46,172
What is going on,
big man?
385
00:17:47,019 --> 00:17:48,267
You getting a little
freaky-deaky up in here?
386
00:17:49,772 --> 00:17:52,396
No. All right, look.
All right, kenny.
387
00:17:52,811 --> 00:17:55,035
I was trying to get
skipped over
388
00:17:55,731 --> 00:17:57,051
so I could show you
that what happened
389
00:17:57,475 --> 00:18:00,003
at the movie theater the
other day happens everywhere.
390
00:18:00,595 --> 00:18:02,837
It was not a personal
attack on you.
391
00:18:03,193 --> 00:18:03,730
The hell it wasn't!
392
00:18:04,233 --> 00:18:05,675
No. Listen to me.
It wasn't.
393
00:18:06,345 --> 00:18:08,418
What happened to you
was not racist!
394
00:18:12,833 --> 00:18:15,129
And I...i hate
saying that to you.
395
00:18:17,281 --> 00:18:18,081
Especially here.
396
00:18:20,385 --> 00:18:22,201
Oh, so now the white guy
is telling the black guy
397
00:18:22,617 --> 00:18:24,403
what is and isn't
racist, huh?
398
00:18:24,738 --> 00:18:26,211
What? No.
I mean, look...
399
00:18:26,554 --> 00:18:27,506
I know it appears
that way
400
00:18:27,842 --> 00:18:29,433
because I'm white
and you're black
401
00:18:29,953 --> 00:18:31,890
and I'm telling you
what's racist...
402
00:18:34,329 --> 00:18:35,834
But the fact
remains, kenny,
403
00:18:37,681 --> 00:18:39,153
that you take a long
time to order.
404
00:18:40,722 --> 00:18:43,242
Ok? And somebody just
got sick and tired
405
00:18:43,626 --> 00:18:44,514
of having to wait
for you,
406
00:18:44,986 --> 00:18:47,515
so she skipped over you
to the guy behind you,
407
00:18:47,969 --> 00:18:49,490
who just happened
to be white.
408
00:18:50,842 --> 00:18:53,994
You have no idea what black
people go through, do you?
409
00:18:54,569 --> 00:18:56,244
You know what?
You're right. I don't.
410
00:18:57,049 --> 00:18:59,874
But I know what
it's like to stand
411
00:19:00,314 --> 00:19:00,850
behind you in line
when you order.
412
00:19:03,649 --> 00:19:05,089
And it may not be
400 years,
413
00:19:05,393 --> 00:19:07,505
but it surely
seems like it.
414
00:19:09,449 --> 00:19:10,665
Look, man, I thought
you were my friend, man.
415
00:19:11,017 --> 00:19:12,009
I thought you had
my back on all this.
416
00:19:12,561 --> 00:19:13,481
You believe this guy?
417
00:19:18,882 --> 00:19:19,433
You do take a long time
to order, kenny.
418
00:19:22,057 --> 00:19:23,505
I've wanted to bring
it up for years, man.
419
00:19:23,897 --> 00:19:24,697
I just didn't know
how to tell you.
420
00:19:26,225 --> 00:19:27,113
We're hungry,
too, kenny.
421
00:19:29,762 --> 00:19:31,585
Oh, I get it.
I get it. Uh-huh.
422
00:19:33,769 --> 00:19:35,058
See, all you guys
agree on this, huh?
423
00:19:35,586 --> 00:19:37,635
Everybody agrees
on this, huh? Hmm?
424
00:19:38,169 --> 00:19:39,675
The black guys,
the white guy,
425
00:19:40,265 --> 00:19:42,113
the asian guy sitting
back there in the corner.
426
00:19:43,817 --> 00:19:45,425
That's right.
I see you back there.
427
00:19:50,177 --> 00:19:51,401
Let me tell you
something.
428
00:19:51,754 --> 00:19:53,378
This ends right now.
429
00:20:09,481 --> 00:20:10,458
I will have...
430
00:20:11,138 --> 00:20:12,073
Chicken and...
431
00:20:47,193 --> 00:20:47,704
Waffles.
432
00:20:49,457 --> 00:20:50,385
Chicken and waffles.
433
00:20:58,530 --> 00:21:00,130
Ah, it's good
to be back.
434
00:21:00,778 --> 00:21:01,658
That it is. Ha ha.
435
00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:08,643
Hi. I just, um...
436
00:21:09,267 --> 00:21:11,019
I wanted to apologize
for the other day.
437
00:21:11,380 --> 00:21:13,396
I think that things got kind
of blown out of proportion,
438
00:21:14,052 --> 00:21:15,956
and I hope you didn't get
in trouble with your manager.
439
00:21:16,643 --> 00:21:17,250
Don't worry about it.
440
00:21:18,231 --> 00:21:19,215
Well, you're very sweet,
441
00:21:19,719 --> 00:21:21,159
and I sure hope
you'll forgive me.
442
00:21:21,615 --> 00:21:23,879
Of course. I don't
have a problem with you.
443
00:21:24,536 --> 00:21:26,057
My problem is
with the coloreds.
444
00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:32,224
Kenny, we're out of here!
445
00:21:32,856 --> 00:21:34,928
Let's go! Come on!
32136
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