All language subtitles for Threes Company S03E03 The Love Diary.DVDRip.NonHI.cc.en.srt

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:13,523 ♪ come and knock on our door ♪ 2 00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:15,625 ♪ come and knock on our door ♪ 3 00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:17,627 ♪ we've been waiting for you ♪ 4 00:00:17,651 --> 00:00:19,296 ♪ we've been waiting for you ♪ 5 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,931 ♪ where the kisses are Hers and hers and his ♪ 6 00:00:21,955 --> 00:00:24,201 ♪ three's company too ♪ 7 00:00:24,225 --> 00:00:26,203 ♪ come and dance on our floor ♪ 8 00:00:26,227 --> 00:00:28,205 ♪ come and dance on our floor ♪ 9 00:00:28,229 --> 00:00:31,041 - ♪ take a step that is new ♪ - ♪ take a step that is new ♪ 10 00:00:31,065 --> 00:00:34,144 ♪ we've a lovable space That needs your face ♪ 11 00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:37,047 ♪ three's company too ♪ 12 00:00:37,071 --> 00:00:39,916 ♪ you'll see that Life is a ball again ♪ 13 00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:43,353 ♪ laughter is calling for you ♪ 14 00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:46,456 - ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪ - ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪ 15 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:49,147 ♪ three's company too ♪ 16 00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:11,448 ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪ 17 00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:13,204 ♪ three's company too. ♪ 18 00:01:17,645 --> 00:01:20,323 I'll get it! 19 00:01:20,347 --> 00:01:22,325 - chrissy! - hell... 20 00:01:22,349 --> 00:01:24,327 - just a minute. - just a minute. 21 00:01:24,351 --> 00:01:26,996 If that is chuck, tell him I've Gone away for the weekend. 22 00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:28,698 - okay. - if it's tim, tell him 23 00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:30,800 I'm doing the laundry And I'll call him later. 24 00:01:30,824 --> 00:01:32,535 - all right. - oh, it could be michael. 25 00:01:32,559 --> 00:01:35,372 If it's michael... Let it be Michael... Tell him I will talk to him. 26 00:01:35,396 --> 00:01:37,540 Chuck, you're going Away, tim's the laundry, 27 00:01:37,564 --> 00:01:39,776 - and michael you'll talk to? - you got it! 28 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,511 Hello? 29 00:01:41,535 --> 00:01:43,647 - roy? - roy? I'm dead. 30 00:01:43,671 --> 00:01:45,749 I am sorry, roy, she's dead. 31 00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:47,606 Chrissy! 32 00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:52,121 - what did you do?! - you got me so confused. 33 00:01:52,145 --> 00:01:54,291 - do I look dead? - no. 34 00:01:54,315 --> 00:01:56,459 I'm sorry, chrissy, It's my fault. 35 00:01:56,483 --> 00:01:59,028 - he'll call back. - yeah, or send a wreath. 36 00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:01,598 See? Do you want Me to take care of it? 37 00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:03,500 No, I think you've Done enough already. 38 00:02:03,524 --> 00:02:06,235 You sit down and type, and I'll take care of the phone. 39 00:02:06,259 --> 00:02:09,906 Hello? Oh hi, roy! 40 00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:13,910 Oh thank you. I'm very Relieved to hear your voice too. 41 00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:15,978 Yeah. 42 00:02:16,002 --> 00:02:17,880 Chrissy, janet, Somebody help me. 43 00:02:17,904 --> 00:02:20,883 - what's the matter, jack? - my pants got caught On the chain. 44 00:02:20,907 --> 00:02:24,421 Okay, okay, roy. Okay, bye bye. 45 00:02:24,445 --> 00:02:26,690 Oh gee, jack. 46 00:02:26,714 --> 00:02:30,193 I hate to be the one to tell You, but your bike's got a limp. 47 00:02:30,217 --> 00:02:33,363 - you're going To help me or what? - what do you want us to do? 48 00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:36,321 Here, I'll hold the bike While you take off my pants. 49 00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:41,938 - I'm busy. - so am I. 50 00:02:41,962 --> 00:02:45,029 What's the matter? Haven't you Ever seen a man's bicycle before? 51 00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:50,246 - just help me. - just forget it. Take your own pants off! 52 00:02:50,270 --> 00:02:52,114 Ow. Oh! 53 00:02:57,143 --> 00:02:59,556 My pants aren't caught Anymore, are they? 54 00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:02,459 Let me walk it off. Let me walk it off. 55 00:03:02,483 --> 00:03:05,528 Hold me. Hold me tight, chrissy. 56 00:03:05,552 --> 00:03:08,364 - massage it A little, janet. - all right. 57 00:03:08,388 --> 00:03:11,367 - oh boy. - is there something Wrong with this leg? 58 00:03:11,391 --> 00:03:13,625 No, I just love the attention. 59 00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:17,841 Oh, jack... 60 00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:20,510 I have to get going. I've got Some heavy shopping to do. 61 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:23,079 - hey, chrissy, You want to come with me? - no, thanks. 62 00:03:23,103 --> 00:03:26,449 I've got to finish this typing. I'm getting 75¢ a page, you know? 63 00:03:26,473 --> 00:03:29,018 Wow, good for you! Okay, honey, see you later. 64 00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,987 - okay, bye bye. - bye. 65 00:03:31,011 --> 00:03:32,989 - bye, janet. - good bye, jack. 66 00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:36,526 Don't tell me somebody finally answered That ad you put up in the supermarket. 67 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:40,229 - uh-huh, it's my first Free-lance job. - 75¢ a page? 68 00:03:40,253 --> 00:03:43,165 Oh chrissy, we can finally buy That little house in the country 69 00:03:43,189 --> 00:03:46,035 And have lots of kids and pigs. 70 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:48,070 Come on! I've Got to finish this. 71 00:03:48,094 --> 00:03:50,573 The author wants to send it To the publisher right away. 72 00:03:50,597 --> 00:03:53,777 "My diary, by wanda x." 73 00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:57,281 It's a strange name, isn't it? I Wonder what the "X" stands for. 74 00:03:58,038 --> 00:04:00,884 Haven't you read this? 75 00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:03,152 The "X" isn't a Name, it's a rating! 76 00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:06,088 Chrissy, this is hot stuff. What does wanda x look like? 77 00:04:06,112 --> 00:04:08,758 I don't know, I've never seen Her. She sent it to me in the mail. 78 00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:11,193 Oh, listen, I'll help you out. 79 00:04:11,217 --> 00:04:13,930 - I'll dictate And you type. - oh great. 80 00:04:13,954 --> 00:04:17,801 - what do you mean, This is hot stuff? - you'll see. Start typing. 81 00:04:17,825 --> 00:04:21,638 "January 1st. My eyes Opened to the new year, 82 00:04:21,662 --> 00:04:24,206 And I saw julian's Sleeping form. 83 00:04:24,230 --> 00:04:27,844 Something stirred within Me, some deep primitive lust. 84 00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:30,769 I reached over and touched Julian's shoulder and..." 85 00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:39,522 - jack! - shh! 86 00:04:39,546 --> 00:04:42,659 What happens after she Touches julian's shoulder? 87 00:04:42,683 --> 00:04:44,627 Everything! 88 00:04:44,651 --> 00:04:47,563 - come on, jack, Quit fooling around! - I'm not fooling around, 89 00:04:47,587 --> 00:04:51,556 But wanda x definitely is. Check Out this passage right here. 90 00:04:55,562 --> 00:05:00,732 Oh. - mmm... - oh. - 91 00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:05,682 - oh! - woo-hoo! 92 00:05:05,706 --> 00:05:08,317 Did you see what she did On washington's birthday? 93 00:05:08,341 --> 00:05:11,142 Yeah, I'll bet old george never Even did that on his honeymoon! 94 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:17,193 - she's not a good writer. - yeah, but she does Great research! 95 00:05:17,217 --> 00:05:19,851 Let's get this over with. 96 00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:33,976 Jack, I am not finished. 97 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,067 I am. 98 00:05:37,437 --> 00:05:41,084 - why did you stop? - I can't type that word. 99 00:05:41,108 --> 00:05:43,174 That one? 100 00:05:46,113 --> 00:05:49,047 - whew! Thank you. - my pleasure. 101 00:05:51,818 --> 00:05:55,253 Come... 102 00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:05,174 - that's physically impossible! Chrissy... - jack! 103 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,777 Don't you have something You can do in another place? 104 00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:10,179 - sure. - would you please Go do it? 105 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,536 Okay! 106 00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:18,221 Oh stanley, will you Turn that thing off? 107 00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:20,178 All it does is make noise! 108 00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:24,894 Not the only thing Around here that does that. 109 00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:26,663 What? 110 00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:29,699 I'm sorry, helen, I got to figure Out how the shampooer works. 111 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:32,301 - just go back To your clay. - I'd like to, 112 00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:34,793 But I don't know what to sculpt. 113 00:06:36,329 --> 00:06:38,697 Are you kidding? That's a great likeness! 114 00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:42,378 That? 115 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:45,181 - it's just a blob. - don't fool me. 116 00:06:45,205 --> 00:06:48,072 I'd recognize your Mother anyplace. 117 00:06:50,978 --> 00:06:53,890 Come on, stanley, Forget your shampooing 118 00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:56,926 And come and pose for me, huh? 119 00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:58,928 Are you crazy? This Machine is rented. 120 00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:03,766 - just talking To you has cost me 25¢! - you're so romantic! 121 00:07:03,790 --> 00:07:06,535 Listen, I figure if you got Something, you ought to use it. 122 00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:09,460 Right! 123 00:07:11,498 --> 00:07:13,509 Helen, I got to go upstairs. 124 00:07:13,533 --> 00:07:15,678 Oh come on, stanley! 125 00:07:15,702 --> 00:07:18,347 Sit for me. Come On, it'll be fun. 126 00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:21,050 Helen, I promised the Kids I'd shampoo their rug. 127 00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:23,554 They've been waiting Six months for me. 128 00:07:24,410 --> 00:07:26,611 I know how they feel. 129 00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:35,131 Chrissy, this new wire Whip sure makes baking easy. 130 00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:37,066 Will you taste something for me? 131 00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:39,669 It's a new cake batter. 132 00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:41,626 Yeah, jack. 133 00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:46,442 - well? - it's great, jack. 134 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,945 - you really like it? - I love it, jack. 135 00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:53,582 Oh I'm glad, because it's made out Of dog hair, onions and a soccer ball. 136 00:07:53,606 --> 00:07:57,654 - it smells good. - chrissy, what's The matter with you? 137 00:07:57,678 --> 00:08:00,356 Oh I'm sorry. It's Just this diary... 138 00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:02,792 Wanda x is an unhappy woman. 139 00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:05,728 You're kidding? Wanda x Is certainly not unhappy. 140 00:08:05,752 --> 00:08:09,165 A little tired maybe, But not unhappy. 141 00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:11,950 You men just don't Understand. Listen to this. 142 00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:16,806 "I realize now there's Only one man I truly love. 143 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,808 He's the older, dignified man 144 00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:21,044 Who lives in the Apartment beneath me. 145 00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:24,647 But he's married, so my love For him remains unfulfilled..." 146 00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:27,216 Oh chrissy, we've got to Help this poor child somehow. 147 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:30,019 "Will I ever know The touch of his lips 148 00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:32,689 Or the feel of his Sensual fingers 149 00:08:32,713 --> 00:08:35,224 Finding their way Over the yearning... 150 00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:39,562 Yearning... Yearning me?" 151 00:08:39,586 --> 00:08:43,766 I better get this away from here. My batter's starting to bubble. 152 00:08:43,790 --> 00:08:45,389 "If only... 153 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,572 If only he could notice me, 154 00:08:49,596 --> 00:08:53,176 Just give me some sign to Show he knows I'm alive... 155 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:57,246 A dazzling smile, A knowing wink... 156 00:08:57,270 --> 00:09:01,350 A meaningful brush Against my shoulder. 157 00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:03,786 Ah, that would satisfy me." 158 00:09:03,810 --> 00:09:06,388 Oh no, that will Never satisfy her! 159 00:09:06,412 --> 00:09:09,092 If you don't believe Me, ask julian! 160 00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:09,622 Oh jack! 161 00:09:09,646 --> 00:09:12,083 Or nigel, or wolfgang. They're all in there! 162 00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:15,131 Hi, jack. 163 00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:18,300 Having the girls over For a tupperware party? 164 00:09:18,324 --> 00:09:20,669 No, mr. Roper, I'm just Breaking in my new whip. 165 00:09:20,693 --> 00:09:23,895 Hey, none of that Stuff around here. 166 00:09:25,698 --> 00:09:28,077 Hi, mr. Roper. 167 00:09:28,101 --> 00:09:31,147 Hi, chrissy. I came up To shampoo your carpet. 168 00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:34,405 Why, has it got dandruff? 169 00:09:36,543 --> 00:09:39,589 - I'll go get my equipment. - hey, mr. Roper? 170 00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:41,591 Would you mind doing It some other time? 171 00:09:41,615 --> 00:09:44,293 Because I've got all this Typing and everything to do. 172 00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:46,763 The meter's running On my shampooer. 173 00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:49,531 You kids better stay out Of the living room for awhile. 174 00:09:49,555 --> 00:09:51,968 I guess I'll experiment With another batter. 175 00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:54,937 - I guess I'll go Take my shower now. - that sounds like more fun. 176 00:09:54,961 --> 00:09:56,839 I'll join you. 177 00:09:56,863 --> 00:09:59,563 - I got things to do. - yeah, so do I. 178 00:10:07,507 --> 00:10:09,874 I'll be in here. 179 00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:28,437 - oh... - hey, did I leave A dishtowel? 180 00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,995 I didn't see it. 181 00:10:36,769 --> 00:10:38,780 - excuse me. - hmm? 182 00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:41,884 - wouldn't that work better If it was plugged in? - oh. 183 00:10:41,908 --> 00:10:44,186 Oh, oh, oh... This Is just a test run. 184 00:10:44,210 --> 00:10:46,455 I have to check the rug first 185 00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,746 Because all carpeting's Different, you know? 186 00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:04,162 "My diary." 187 00:11:05,598 --> 00:11:07,432 Chrissy? 188 00:11:10,770 --> 00:11:13,804 "The one man I truly love..." 189 00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:23,714 "Older man who lives in The apartment beneath me." 190 00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:32,123 "Sensual fingers"? 191 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,466 Oh my god! 192 00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:52,455 Helen? 193 00:11:52,479 --> 00:11:54,790 Helen! 194 00:11:54,814 --> 00:11:56,792 - hi, mr. Roper. - hi, janet. 195 00:11:56,816 --> 00:11:58,794 - janet! - yeah? 196 00:11:58,818 --> 00:12:01,530 - would come In here for a minute? - okay, just a minute. 197 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,532 - hi. - hi. 198 00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:06,324 - what's up? - up? Nothing's up. 199 00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:09,438 I just wanted to Ask you something. 200 00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:11,440 Okay. 201 00:12:11,464 --> 00:12:14,610 - do you need Anything upstairs? - no, nothing. 202 00:12:14,634 --> 00:12:16,945 - you have enough Hot water? - plenty. 203 00:12:16,969 --> 00:12:19,529 Does chrissy go for older guys? 204 00:12:21,874 --> 00:12:24,587 - what? - I'm sorry. 205 00:12:24,611 --> 00:12:27,356 I worry about you girls Living all alone in this big city. 206 00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:29,365 Mr. Roper, that's Nice of you, but I got... 207 00:12:29,389 --> 00:12:30,326 Especially chrissy, 208 00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:33,551 - because she's got a lot Of guys after her. - sure, yeah. 209 00:12:34,621 --> 00:12:38,767 So... What kind of Guys does she like? 210 00:12:38,791 --> 00:12:40,769 Chrissy? 211 00:12:40,793 --> 00:12:42,972 She likes guys who are Pretty sharp dressers. 212 00:12:42,996 --> 00:12:45,663 Yeah? 213 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:50,446 She likes a man Who is intelligent, 214 00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:52,670 Great sense of humor. Very good-looking. 215 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:56,352 That's what I was afraid of. 216 00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:59,922 You know, mr. Roper, I will tell You one thing about chrissy... 217 00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:02,959 If she ever fell for somebody, He'd be the only thing in her life. 218 00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:05,227 - she'd really Hang on to him. - oh boy. 219 00:13:05,251 --> 00:13:09,019 - oh yeah, she would Never let him go. - oh boy. 220 00:13:10,256 --> 00:13:12,368 Now me, I think getting Tied down right now... 221 00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:15,071 That's interesting, we'll Have to talk about it sometime. 222 00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:17,506 - I thought you wanted to now. - yes, nice talking to you. 223 00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:20,890 You and I should chat more Often. Take care of yourself. 224 00:13:22,268 --> 00:13:24,268 Oh boy. 225 00:13:30,910 --> 00:13:33,689 Oh stanley, I Thought I heard you! 226 00:13:33,713 --> 00:13:36,225 Hey, did you come Back to pose for me? 227 00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:39,061 Not now, helen, I've got Business to take care of. 228 00:13:39,085 --> 00:13:42,298 - what are writing? - an eviction notice. 229 00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:46,168 An eviction notice? Well, for whom? 230 00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:48,152 I'm throwing out The kids upstairs. 231 00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:52,741 Those nice kids? Why? 232 00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:56,011 Why? To save our Marriage, that's why! 233 00:13:56,035 --> 00:13:58,569 What? 234 00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:04,153 You may as well Know the truth, helen. 235 00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,410 Chrissy's in love with me. 236 00:14:10,983 --> 00:14:13,695 Hey, stanley, would You say that again? 237 00:14:13,719 --> 00:14:16,354 It... It... 238 00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:21,303 It sounded like "Chrissy's in love with me." 239 00:14:21,327 --> 00:14:23,361 That's what I said. 240 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:33,649 Why do you think she called Me three times last week 241 00:14:33,673 --> 00:14:36,641 To fix her leaky faucet? She's crazy about me. 242 00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:44,660 This is serious, helen! 243 00:14:44,684 --> 00:14:47,604 And she's not just interested In me for my plumbing. 244 00:14:50,923 --> 00:14:53,524 Oh stanley. 245 00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:56,972 And it's all my fault... 246 00:14:56,996 --> 00:15:00,465 Walking around in my T-shirt and bermuda shorts... 247 00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:05,181 I mean, how much Can a girl take? 248 00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:09,151 Come on, stanley, you don't Really believe that, do you? 249 00:15:09,175 --> 00:15:11,420 Sure. Hey, it Happened once before. 250 00:15:11,444 --> 00:15:14,490 Remember that woman in 206? She was nuts about me. 251 00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:16,692 You mean, that old lady 252 00:15:16,716 --> 00:15:21,018 That they put in a home so She wouldn't hurt herself? 253 00:15:22,688 --> 00:15:25,490 I know this is true about Chrissy 'cause I read it in her diary. 254 00:15:27,193 --> 00:15:29,004 Oh stanley, 255 00:15:29,028 --> 00:15:32,374 You shouldn't read Other people's diaries. 256 00:15:32,398 --> 00:15:34,343 They're private. 257 00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:38,046 How am I supposed to know It's private unless I read it? 258 00:15:38,070 --> 00:15:40,048 What? 259 00:15:40,072 --> 00:15:43,707 Anyway, she said that my sensual Fingers drive her mad with desire. 260 00:15:47,046 --> 00:15:50,214 Your sensual fingers? 261 00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:54,396 Oh come on, you Got to be kidding. 262 00:15:54,420 --> 00:15:57,533 I'm not kidding! She's Yearning for me. 263 00:15:57,557 --> 00:15:59,435 "Yearning, yearning, yearning." 264 00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:02,538 You're crazy, crazy, crazy! 265 00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:05,474 - come on upstairs. I'll prove it to you. - how? 266 00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:08,110 I'll give her the three Things she's been waiting for... 267 00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:11,780 The dazzling smile, The knowing wink, 268 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:14,916 And a meaningful brush Against her shoulder. 269 00:16:14,940 --> 00:16:18,409 After that, I'm not Responsible for what happens. 270 00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:25,093 This is just trash. 271 00:16:25,117 --> 00:16:27,263 I mean, this is Absolute garbage. 272 00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:29,998 Yeah, isn't it great? 273 00:16:30,022 --> 00:16:31,767 You would think that. 274 00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:34,537 Come on, janet, I haven't Exactly seen you put it down. 275 00:16:34,561 --> 00:16:36,572 - I'm just curious. I am! - mm-hmm? 276 00:16:36,596 --> 00:16:38,974 I am, jack. I don't even Know what I'm reading here. 277 00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:42,978 - oh sure. - I don't. Jack, I don't! 278 00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:45,322 Hey, chrissy, you've Got a page missing here. 279 00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:48,617 - yeah? - yeah, honey. 280 00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:51,720 See, down the bottom of this page, They're getting very passionate, 281 00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:54,956 And then at the top of this one, They're already smoking a cigarette. 282 00:16:54,980 --> 00:16:59,461 - you've got the pages Out of order. - oh, yes. 283 00:16:59,485 --> 00:17:02,731 When did this woman Have time to write? 284 00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:04,533 I don't know. 285 00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:06,935 So far, she's busy every day. 286 00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:09,505 - come on, janet, Let's go make lunch. - let's stay in here. 287 00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:12,308 It'll give chrissy a chance to Get a few pages ahead of us again. 288 00:17:12,332 --> 00:17:15,172 Oh good idea, I'm really... Would you look at this... 289 00:17:19,505 --> 00:17:21,105 I'll get it! 290 00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:32,194 hi. 291 00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:34,752 - hi, chrissy. - can we come in, Chrissy? 292 00:17:36,088 --> 00:17:38,456 - of course you can. - thank you. 293 00:17:48,334 --> 00:17:51,201 Is there anything I can do for you? 294 00:17:54,874 --> 00:17:58,108 Stanley's fingers... 295 00:18:02,682 --> 00:18:06,450 Helen, sit down. Sit down. 296 00:18:11,891 --> 00:18:15,159 - chrissy... - yes, mr. Roper. 297 00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:20,765 Hi. 298 00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:23,712 Hi. 299 00:18:23,736 --> 00:18:26,737 No, no, no. I mean... 300 00:18:28,741 --> 00:18:30,474 Hi. 301 00:18:36,516 --> 00:18:38,683 It's not a secret Anymore, chrissy. 302 00:18:40,386 --> 00:18:42,152 Oh good. 303 00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:46,524 - what isn't? - you know... 304 00:18:48,994 --> 00:18:51,395 Is there something in your eye? 305 00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:56,133 Come on, don't try to Pretend. I understand. 306 00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:03,240 You understand? I understand. 307 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,458 Good. 308 00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:11,827 I think there's something In the kitchen burning. 309 00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:13,617 I'll check. 310 00:19:14,787 --> 00:19:18,567 You're making a fool Of yourself, stanley. 311 00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:21,537 I don't understand. Why is She playing so hard to get? 312 00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:23,728 Look what she's getting. 313 00:19:27,066 --> 00:19:29,545 Just calm down. Now wait a minute. 314 00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:32,514 - the ropers came In and then what? - he made a pass at me! 315 00:19:32,538 --> 00:19:34,282 - roper? - yes! 316 00:19:34,306 --> 00:19:36,518 - you've got to be Imagining things. - I am not. 317 00:19:36,542 --> 00:19:39,254 What would you do if I Came in and did this to you... 318 00:19:39,278 --> 00:19:42,946 Hi... And then I did this... 319 00:19:44,316 --> 00:19:46,083 And then I did this? 320 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:51,500 I'd think we were engaged. Come here. Janet, will you leave... 321 00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:53,702 Come on, please, go See if he's still in there. 322 00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:55,504 - why do I... - please, please... 323 00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:57,428 All right, okay, I'll go check. 324 00:19:59,331 --> 00:20:02,244 There it is in the diary, Every word spelled out. 325 00:20:02,268 --> 00:20:04,413 I see, I see. 326 00:20:04,437 --> 00:20:07,757 So I'm crazy, huh? What have You got to say for yourself now? 327 00:20:09,108 --> 00:20:12,075 This is dear, sweet Little chrissy? 328 00:20:13,579 --> 00:20:16,859 It's the diary. That's It! He's found the diary! 329 00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:19,728 Oh no. And he saw Chrissy typing. 330 00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:21,864 Oh gosh, it all makes sense now. 331 00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:23,932 - what does? - don't you see? 332 00:20:23,956 --> 00:20:27,836 Just... Just put two And two together. 333 00:20:27,860 --> 00:20:30,027 - four! - no. 334 00:20:31,130 --> 00:20:33,275 - is it not four? - no... 335 00:20:33,299 --> 00:20:35,477 - you try. - sure. 336 00:20:35,501 --> 00:20:37,513 Chrissy, concentrate. 337 00:20:37,537 --> 00:20:39,515 Roper thinks it's your diary, 338 00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:41,917 And he thinks he's the Dignified man downstairs. 339 00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:44,252 - oh no! - yes, yes... 340 00:20:44,276 --> 00:20:47,956 You'd better go in there And tell him the truth. 341 00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:50,225 - me? Why me? - 'cause! 342 00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:51,794 - you're the man. - yeah. 343 00:20:51,818 --> 00:20:54,630 - you're wanda x. - I am not! 344 00:20:54,654 --> 00:20:56,832 - he thinks you are! - well... 345 00:20:56,856 --> 00:20:59,100 - janet, go do it. - why? 346 00:20:59,124 --> 00:21:01,303 - I'm not even In that diary. - neither am I! 347 00:21:01,327 --> 00:21:04,606 How do we know that? 348 00:21:04,630 --> 00:21:06,608 All right, look. 349 00:21:06,632 --> 00:21:09,010 We're all going to go in Together. We agree on that? 350 00:21:09,034 --> 00:21:11,012 We agree on that. That sounds fair. 351 00:21:11,036 --> 00:21:13,504 Why do I have to go first? 352 00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:20,088 Okay, chrissy, 353 00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:22,090 I think we'd better Talk about this diary. 354 00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:25,749 - chrissy: so do I. - will you... 355 00:21:28,854 --> 00:21:32,267 - all right, chrissy... - it's not mine. 356 00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:34,224 - it's not yours. - no. 357 00:21:37,163 --> 00:21:40,676 Janet. Janet, I Should have known. 358 00:21:40,700 --> 00:21:43,545 No, mr. Roper, it's Not my diary either. 359 00:21:43,569 --> 00:21:45,903 - it's not yours? - no. 360 00:21:50,275 --> 00:21:52,342 Then whose is it? 361 00:22:03,589 --> 00:22:05,266 Oh no! 362 00:22:05,290 --> 00:22:07,235 No, no, no, no... Don't worry, mr. R, 363 00:22:07,259 --> 00:22:09,292 It'll be our own little secret. 364 00:22:11,431 --> 00:22:14,209 Mr. Roper, it's not his diary. 365 00:22:14,233 --> 00:22:17,112 It's a manuscript I'm typing To make a little extra money. 366 00:22:17,136 --> 00:22:19,480 Yeah, mr. Roper, just look Inside the front cover. 367 00:22:19,504 --> 00:22:23,085 - and you'll see The author's name. - "Wanda x"? 368 00:22:23,109 --> 00:22:25,721 Uh-huh. Chrissy Hasn't even met her. 369 00:22:25,745 --> 00:22:30,258 Oh stanley, you are romantic! 370 00:22:30,282 --> 00:22:32,660 - I am. - yeah. 371 00:22:32,684 --> 00:22:35,731 You were going to throw the Kids right out of their apartment 372 00:22:35,755 --> 00:22:38,499 - just to save Our marriage! - you were?! 373 00:22:38,523 --> 00:22:41,792 - I was, wasn't I? - wasn't that Nice of him? 374 00:22:44,397 --> 00:22:46,975 I can be as romantic As the next guy. 375 00:22:46,999 --> 00:22:49,144 We're gonna have a Great time tonight, helen. 376 00:22:49,168 --> 00:22:52,848 - first, we'll go out and eat, and then... - oh stanley! 377 00:22:52,872 --> 00:22:56,374 Couldn't we do The "And then" first? 378 00:22:57,943 --> 00:23:01,383 Okay, if you want to go Bowling on an empty stomach. 379 00:23:14,627 --> 00:23:16,938 - $45, $50... - chrissy! 380 00:23:16,962 --> 00:23:20,008 $55, $56, $57, $58... 381 00:23:20,032 --> 00:23:22,210 Where is wanda? Where is wanda?! 382 00:23:22,234 --> 00:23:25,213 Oh I knew it! She's already Picked up her diary. 383 00:23:25,237 --> 00:23:27,750 I'm too late. Why did I Have to miss the bus today? 384 00:23:27,774 --> 00:23:29,885 - no, you're not too late... - I'm not? 385 00:23:29,909 --> 00:23:32,153 You already got The money. I don't... 386 00:23:32,177 --> 00:23:34,456 Wait a minute. You Mean, she's still here? 387 00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:36,592 - yeah. - wanda's here? Where? 388 00:23:36,616 --> 00:23:39,216 - where is wanda? - jack! 389 00:23:40,586 --> 00:23:44,165 - in washing up, but listen... - great, great. 390 00:23:44,189 --> 00:23:46,769 Did you tell her about me? That I was tall, good looking, 391 00:23:46,793 --> 00:23:49,605 Got my own bedroom? 392 00:23:49,629 --> 00:23:51,907 Why don't you go Tell wanda yourself? 393 00:23:51,931 --> 00:23:54,543 Chrissy, I'm ashamed! I Can't go into the bathroom. 394 00:23:54,567 --> 00:23:57,968 Just go tell her. I'll just Be right here, waiting. 395 00:24:01,874 --> 00:24:05,687 - who are you? - jack, this is Wanda x. 396 00:24:05,711 --> 00:24:07,689 - this is our friend, Jack tripper. - hi! 397 00:24:07,713 --> 00:24:10,325 Don't touch! 398 00:24:10,349 --> 00:24:12,995 - you're wanda x? - wanda's my pen name. 399 00:24:13,019 --> 00:24:14,952 My real name is Clarence springfield. 400 00:24:16,355 --> 00:24:19,534 Clarence, jack wanted me To tell you that he's tall, 401 00:24:19,558 --> 00:24:22,938 Good looking, and Has his own bedroom. 402 00:24:22,962 --> 00:24:25,462 - really? - excuse me. 403 00:24:50,556 --> 00:24:52,968 Ritter's voice: "Three's Company" was videotaped 404 00:24:52,992 --> 00:24:54,992 in front of a studio audience. 31085

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