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1
00:00:02,036 --> 00:00:03,271
* MTV. *
2
00:00:15,049 --> 00:00:17,285
* *
3
00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:27,461
* *
4
00:00:39,006 --> 00:00:40,674
Cred has more electrolytes
5
00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:42,676
than Gatorade or Prime.
6
00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:46,780
And now Cred has a new flavor:
Cherry Bubblegum.
7
00:00:57,024 --> 00:00:59,493
Eric, do you really need
to bring three bottles
8
00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:01,162
of that drink to school?
9
00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:04,332
Mom, a kid today is defined
by their hydration drink.
10
00:01:04,432 --> 00:01:07,735
I have to have more Cred
than anyone else.
11
00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:09,403
* *
12
00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:11,239
* I got Cred, bitches *
13
00:01:11,339 --> 00:01:12,906
* I got Cred *
14
00:01:13,006 --> 00:01:14,742
* I got Cred, bitches *
15
00:01:14,842 --> 00:01:16,610
* I got Cred *
16
00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:18,412
* I got Kiwi Lime *
17
00:01:18,512 --> 00:01:19,813
* I got Gooble Grape *
18
00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,782
* You got no Cred, bitches *
19
00:01:21,882 --> 00:01:23,617
* But I got mine *
20
00:01:27,955 --> 00:01:30,591
* We got Cred, bitches,
we got Cred *
21
00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:32,493
* Our teeth are blue, bitches *
22
00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:34,628
* Our tongues are red... *
23
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Yeah, but it's, like, seriously,
24
00:01:36,029 --> 00:01:37,565
look at how it's suddenly
everybody now.
25
00:01:37,665 --> 00:01:39,167
Like that Spencer Hollis kid.
26
00:01:39,267 --> 00:01:40,601
He never even cared about Cred,
27
00:01:40,701 --> 00:01:42,035
he just drinks it
'cause some stupid influencer
28
00:01:42,136 --> 00:01:43,371
said it's cool now.
29
00:01:43,471 --> 00:01:45,473
Hey, hey, Clyde,
where's your Cred?
30
00:01:46,574 --> 00:01:50,010
Oh, um, it's in my...
I-I already drank it.
31
00:01:51,345 --> 00:01:52,946
See? That's what
I'm talking about.
32
00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:55,316
Clyde likes Cred so much that
he drank all his before noon.
33
00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:56,584
That's a real Cred drinker.
34
00:01:56,684 --> 00:01:59,086
Unlike all the poser
Cred drinkers
35
00:01:59,187 --> 00:02:00,688
like Spencer Hollis!
36
00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:02,022
Fuck you.
37
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:04,758
Fuck you, Spencer,
you're a fucking poser!
38
00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:07,161
It's literally everywhere now.
39
00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:09,797
These crazy hydration drinks
that say they're healthy,
40
00:02:09,897 --> 00:02:12,900
but are loaded with fake sugars
and not safe for children.
41
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:16,204
Why now? Why are kids
suddenly so into these things?
42
00:02:16,304 --> 00:02:17,738
Online influencers.
43
00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:19,840
They promote this stuff to kids
to make money.
44
00:02:19,940 --> 00:02:22,142
I don't know what kind of
scumbags would push adult things
45
00:02:22,243 --> 00:02:25,145
on something they know
kids will watch.
46
00:02:25,246 --> 00:02:28,382
You guys, we have a big problem.
47
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:30,318
-What is it?
-It's about the South Park
48
00:02:30,418 --> 00:02:32,186
elementary art teacher.
49
00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:33,687
Mrs. Streibel? What about her?
50
00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:36,890
We just found out
that she's been...
51
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:40,361
doing pornographic videos
on OnlyFans.
52
00:02:40,461 --> 00:02:42,430
-Oh, no.
-Oh, yes.
53
00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:45,165
There's gonna be
a big meeting tonight,
54
00:02:45,266 --> 00:02:48,101
and everybody's gonna see it.
55
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* *
56
00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:06,019
* *
57
00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:31,912
Everyone, let's try
to be civil here.
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Be civil?
How are we supposed to go home
59
00:03:34,382 --> 00:03:37,084
and explain to our children that
their art teacher is a slut?
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00:03:38,352 --> 00:03:40,321
She is not a slut.
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00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:43,724
Mrs. Streibel is a woman
engaging in a legal activity
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00:03:43,824 --> 00:03:47,027
on a website
that is for adults only.
63
00:03:48,496 --> 00:03:50,097
Of course kids are gonna see it.
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00:03:50,197 --> 00:03:52,433
They see everything
on the Internet.
65
00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:55,969
Well, the problem is you guys
buy your kids phones, okay?
66
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:59,407
Just like you buy them all these
unhealthy hydration drinks.
67
00:03:59,507 --> 00:04:01,141
Oh, don't turn this
around on us.
68
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,110
We can't control
what our kids drink
69
00:04:03,210 --> 00:04:04,278
or what they watch.
70
00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:05,946
They're your kids.
71
00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:08,081
Many teachers
are struggling to get by
72
00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:10,418
and need ways to supplement
their income.
73
00:04:10,518 --> 00:04:13,321
Mrs. Streibel makes close
to minimum wage as a teacher,
74
00:04:13,421 --> 00:04:17,525
but on OnlyFans, she makes
an extra $10,000 a week.
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00:04:21,061 --> 00:04:22,796
It doesn't matter
how much she made,
76
00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:25,333
we're talking about someone
who influences our children.
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00:04:25,433 --> 00:04:27,535
Did she say $10,000 a week?
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00:04:27,635 --> 00:04:29,537
Listen, we have suspended
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00:04:29,637 --> 00:04:31,939
Mrs. Streibel indefinitely,
okay?
80
00:04:32,039 --> 00:04:33,807
But over the next few days,
81
00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:35,776
you should probably talk
to your kids
82
00:04:35,876 --> 00:04:40,548
about what they might
have seen, m'kay.
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00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:56,229
Uh, hey, Clyde, w-why don't you
come over here and have a seat?
84
00:04:56,330 --> 00:04:57,765
What?
85
00:04:57,865 --> 00:05:00,601
Uh, have a seat, pal.
We need to talk to you.
86
00:05:02,002 --> 00:05:03,236
Clyde...
87
00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:05,406
we're understanding
that some tough things
88
00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:07,341
have been going on at school.
89
00:05:07,441 --> 00:05:09,910
Yes. Yes, they have.
90
00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:12,245
All right, well, we know
that some of the stuff
91
00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:15,583
you're dealing with
might be kind of disturbing.
92
00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:17,818
Yes, it's totally disturbing,
yes.
93
00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:21,455
All right, Clyde, well,
we want to try and help you.
94
00:05:21,555 --> 00:05:22,656
Really? You do?
95
00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:24,492
Oh, thank God. Finally.
96
00:05:24,592 --> 00:05:26,827
Yeah, pal,
let-let me explain to you
97
00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:29,363
what "double penetration" is.
98
00:05:30,364 --> 00:05:31,699
Double penetration?
99
00:05:31,799 --> 00:05:33,867
See, in your art teacher's
OnlyFans page,
100
00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:37,505
her and two men,
who love each other very much,
101
00:05:37,605 --> 00:05:39,973
wanted to express that love...
102
00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:41,875
Dad, nobody cares
about double penetration.
103
00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:44,144
My life at school is awful
because you don't let me drink
104
00:05:44,244 --> 00:05:46,480
hydrating sports drinks
like all the other kids.
105
00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:48,382
Clyde, we've told you,
those things are filled
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00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:49,817
with additives and fake sugar,
107
00:05:49,917 --> 00:05:51,585
and they're not good
for children.
108
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:52,853
You're not even
my real mom, Janice,
109
00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:54,588
so why don't you
shut the fuck up?
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00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:56,189
Clyde, that's enough.
111
00:05:56,289 --> 00:05:58,091
Every other kid at school
is allowed to have it.
112
00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,860
They all have Cred,
but I have zero Cred
113
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because my dad
and his stupid girlfriend
114
00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:02,796
think it's bad for me.
115
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:05,065
Why do you want to be
like all the other kids?
116
00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:07,100
Shut up, Janice,
you're not my mom!
117
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,969
All right, Clyde, we're trying
to have a nice talk with you
118
00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:10,237
about double penetration,
119
00:06:10,337 --> 00:06:12,105
and you can just go
to your room now.
120
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:13,407
Fine!
121
00:06:14,241 --> 00:06:15,909
Thanks a lot
for making sure your son
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00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:19,246
is the only kid in school
without any Cred!
123
00:06:25,553 --> 00:06:28,989
It's like nobody
understands me, you know?
124
00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:31,124
Like, all these stupid boomers
and people over 40
125
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,661
don't know how hard it is
for young people.
126
00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:35,496
-Yeah.
-Like, yo, if you guys
127
00:06:35,596 --> 00:06:37,565
feel the same way,
just leave a comment down below
128
00:06:37,665 --> 00:06:39,366
and smash that like button.
129
00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:43,837
You know, the most important
thing is just to be yourself.
130
00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:45,839
And when I feel like
I can't be myself,
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00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:48,709
that's when I need a hydration
drink that'll pick me up.
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00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:51,545
That's when I need Cred.
133
00:06:51,645 --> 00:06:54,247
It's the coolest sports drink
in the world.
134
00:06:54,347 --> 00:06:56,316
Cred is 100% sugar-free.
135
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:59,086
Cred has electrolytes
so you can ride your bike.
136
00:06:59,186 --> 00:07:00,721
And also,
Cred has more vitamin A
137
00:07:00,821 --> 00:07:03,023
than your body
could possibly ever use.
138
00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:04,958
I can't feel my face.
139
00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:07,227
Drink Cred
or you're a piece of shit.
140
00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:10,798
Drink Cred at your school today.
141
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:15,903
Hey, guys, I know there's
a lot of influencers out there
142
00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:17,571
trying to get your attention.
143
00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:20,040
And I just hope that
you'll maybe take a moment
144
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:24,411
to check out what I have to say
here on My OnlyFans page.
145
00:07:24,512 --> 00:07:27,815
I hope you're all doing great,
and if you're watching this PPV,
146
00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:29,750
I hope you'll consider
subscribing.
147
00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:31,251
If you want me
to give a shout-out
148
00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:33,120
for your social media,
I can do that.
149
00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:34,855
And if you want a custom,
just let me know
150
00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,356
if there's anything special
you want to see.
151
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,759
-What the fuck are you doing?
-Oh! Hey, Sharon,
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00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:40,460
just supplementing my income.
153
00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:42,129
Are you serious right now?
154
00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:44,998
All right, all right,
Sharon, yes,
155
00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:47,100
I am an OnlyFans model.
156
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,802
And I'm not ashamed of it.
157
00:07:48,902 --> 00:07:50,504
Goddamn it, Randy.
158
00:07:50,604 --> 00:07:53,907
What is with all the stigma
Americans have anyway, huh?
159
00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:56,476
It's just my penis, Sharon.
It's not a big deal.
160
00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:59,479
No, it's definitely
not a big deal.
161
00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:01,048
Okay, good. Thank you.
162
00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:02,883
All I'm doing
is taking back control
163
00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:04,985
of my sexuality on a platform
164
00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:06,920
that I can benefit from
financially.
165
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:08,622
So you're just gonna sit here
and jack off
166
00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:11,625
for four hours a week just
to make a few extra dollars?
167
00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:13,827
I jack off
two hours a week anyways.
168
00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:15,529
Now I just do it
a little bit more
169
00:08:15,629 --> 00:08:18,265
and make enough money to pay
for the increase in gas prices.
170
00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:20,568
If your children find out
about this,
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00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:22,936
they are going to leave home.
172
00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:26,640
Children aren't allowed
on OnlyFans, Sharon.
173
00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:28,508
It's totally safe.
174
00:08:28,609 --> 00:08:31,011
Kids aren't gonna see this.
175
00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:42,956
Hey, Butters, Tweek,
you guys got a second?
176
00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:44,825
-For what?
-Okay, you know how, like,
177
00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:46,159
some kids in this school
really like Cred
178
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:47,561
and others just pretend to,
179
00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:49,329
but really they're posers
like Spencer Hollis?
180
00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:51,965
Well, I think we should
start a Cred affinity group.
181
00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:53,400
What's an affinity group?
182
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:55,268
It's where you, like,
divide people into groups
183
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:57,437
and single them out in order
to make other people feel bad.
184
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,439
See, it's like
we're the legit Cred drinkers,
185
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:00,808
and we should just let
the very coolest kids
186
00:09:00,908 --> 00:09:01,975
into our affinity group.
187
00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:03,376
Oh, hey, Clyde.
188
00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:05,178
-Where's your Cred?
-Oh, it's just, uh...
189
00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:08,115
-it's, uh, in my backpack again.
-Oh, that's cool.
190
00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:09,950
You guys think we should let
Clyde into our affinity group?
191
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,551
Yeah, I like Clyde.
192
00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:13,787
Oh, hey, Stan. Do you want
to be in our affinity group?
193
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:16,223
-What's an affinity group?
-It's like where people separate
194
00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:17,891
into little clubs by, like,
skin color or religious beliefs
195
00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:19,660
and talk about how much better
they are than everyone else.
196
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,328
Usually, white people
can't be in an affinity group,
197
00:09:21,428 --> 00:09:22,863
but it's for a drink,
so they have to let us.
198
00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:24,632
That's not what
an affinity group is.
199
00:09:24,732 --> 00:09:27,000
Uh, yeah, well,
no one's inviting you, Kyle.
200
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:28,902
'Cause it looks like
you don't even have any Cred.
201
00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:30,771
Yeah, I do, it's in my backpack.
202
00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:33,006
Oh, sure,
it's in his backpack, guys.
203
00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:34,642
Yeah, let's see it, then.
204
00:09:34,742 --> 00:09:37,678
It's right here. We drink
way more Cred than you guys do.
205
00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:40,180
Oh, yeah, right. Tweek drinks
four bottles of Cred
206
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:42,683
for breakfast.
207
00:09:44,618 --> 00:09:46,086
I don't want to be a part
of any affinity group.
208
00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:47,554
It just sounds like trouble.
209
00:09:47,655 --> 00:09:48,989
Yeah, well, we don't want you.
210
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,523
'Cause you just pretend
to like Cred
211
00:09:50,624 --> 00:09:51,959
'cause it's a fad right now
212
00:09:52,059 --> 00:09:53,560
like all the other lame-o's
in this school.
213
00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:55,228
Hey, guys.
214
00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:57,831
Hey, Clyde, you got a sec?
215
00:09:57,931 --> 00:10:00,300
-For what?
-I was just gonna talk to you
about your backpack.
216
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,335
-W-What about my backpack?
-Well, it's just...
217
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,104
You know, it's really best
to have a backpack
218
00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:05,939
that's got a water bottle pouch
to put your Cred in.
219
00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:07,340
See, like, see how
y-you can see, like,
220
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,142
you can see my Cred bottle
from the outside?
221
00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:10,377
You just go like this,
and everyone-everyone
222
00:10:10,477 --> 00:10:11,845
can see your Cred?
You're just like,
223
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,080
"Oh, hey, what's going on?
224
00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:14,014
"Oh, yeah, sweet,
check out my Cred.
225
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,849
It's, like, right here."
226
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,785
Um, well, I-I don't think
227
00:10:17,885 --> 00:10:19,419
I can get a new backpack
till my birthday.
228
00:10:19,519 --> 00:10:21,288
Well, maybe just, like,
use some tape or something
229
00:10:21,388 --> 00:10:22,756
to make your own bottle pouch?
230
00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:24,024
You know, we definitely
don't want you to look
231
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:25,492
like you don't have any Cred.
232
00:10:25,592 --> 00:10:26,994
All right,
see you in class, brah.
233
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:31,364
* *
234
00:10:40,908 --> 00:10:42,976
Hey, Sharon. Can we talk?
235
00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:44,377
* *
236
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,346
I feel like there's
a lot bad things going on
237
00:10:46,446 --> 00:10:49,549
in the world, and it gets so
confusing sometimes, you know?
238
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:53,520
I think, as Americans, we watch
news about things happening
239
00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:56,523
in the Middle East and we just
don't want to get involved.
240
00:10:56,623 --> 00:10:58,658
And I know it can feel like
"What can I do?
241
00:10:58,759 --> 00:11:01,528
I'm not special, how could I
ever make a difference?"
242
00:11:01,628 --> 00:11:04,932
But we can't let ourselves
think like that.
243
00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:07,100
Sometimes what it takes
244
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,703
is just one person
to start a movement.
245
00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:13,573
One person, and then
everyone else might follow.
246
00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:22,349
I am not subscribing
to your OnlyFans page, Randy.
247
00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:25,418
Okay, well, you're a cunt.
248
00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:34,161
Yeah, that looks good.
249
00:11:34,261 --> 00:11:36,596
Maybe a little higher
on your side, Butters.
250
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:38,799
Yeah, that's great. I think
everyone can see that now.
251
00:11:38,899 --> 00:11:41,401
That should definitely
make people feel unwelcome.
252
00:11:42,169 --> 00:11:44,404
* *
253
00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:13,967
Hey.
254
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:15,836
Hey...
255
00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:17,604
What's goin' on?
256
00:12:17,704 --> 00:12:21,441
So... are you, like,
selling Cred?
257
00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:24,011
What? Selling hydration drinks
on school grounds
258
00:12:24,111 --> 00:12:25,678
is against the rules.
259
00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:27,247
Come here, come here.
260
00:12:28,015 --> 00:12:30,550
What the-- Hey, what are you--
What the hell are you doing?
261
00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:33,854
If you're wearing a wire,
I will kick your ass.
262
00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:36,456
Bro, I'm not wearing a wire!
Do you have Cred or not?
263
00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:39,392
Sure, I got Cred.
What are ya looking for?
264
00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:42,162
A little...
Watermelon Strawberry?
265
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,330
No, no, do you have any ones
266
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:44,932
that don't taste like total ass?
267
00:12:45,032 --> 00:12:46,299
Oh, you want the good shit.
268
00:12:46,399 --> 00:12:48,568
I got your Bubblegum Grape
right here.
269
00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:49,903
Okay, how much?
270
00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:51,138
Eighty bucks.
271
00:12:51,238 --> 00:12:53,473
$80? For a shitty
fake-sugar drink?
272
00:12:53,573 --> 00:12:54,842
What do you think
I'm runnin' here,
273
00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:56,609
a fucking charity
for the homeless?
274
00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:58,946
How about some
Oatmeal Nummy Nums?
275
00:12:59,046 --> 00:13:00,814
I can get you into that for $65.
276
00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:04,784
I don't have $65.
What can I get for three bucks?
277
00:13:04,885 --> 00:13:06,553
Three bucks? Oh, sure.
278
00:13:06,653 --> 00:13:08,688
For that, you can get
an empty Cred bottle.
279
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:11,258
-What good is that gonna do me?
-It's easy.
280
00:13:11,358 --> 00:13:13,393
You just fill
your empty bottle with water,
281
00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:15,095
add a little food coloring.
282
00:13:15,195 --> 00:13:19,299
Everyone thinks you got Cred
when you actually have no Cred.
283
00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:22,469
I'm not giving you three dollars
for just plastic garbage!
284
00:13:22,569 --> 00:13:23,904
Cool thing, man.
285
00:13:24,004 --> 00:13:26,739
You just go back into the school
without any Cred at all.
286
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,641
See how long you last.
287
00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:31,411
Here!
288
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:34,982
Hey, guys, it's your boy Randy,
289
00:13:35,082 --> 00:13:37,885
and in this video we're doing
authentic pad Thai
290
00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:39,652
for under $6.
291
00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:41,821
Now we're gonna start
with some medium shrimp
292
00:13:41,922 --> 00:13:43,390
and some rice noodles.
293
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:45,458
For the wet ingredients,
we're looking at a couple eggs,
294
00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:47,094
some fish and also soy sauce.
295
00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:49,196
And then for garnish, we're
gonna do a little cilantro,
296
00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:50,730
green onion, and then of course,
297
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:53,800
we're gonna top that all off
with some fresh nuts.
298
00:13:53,901 --> 00:13:56,203
Those nuts are gonna give it
that extra bite.
299
00:13:56,303 --> 00:13:57,470
Now, if you like
what you're seeing
300
00:13:57,570 --> 00:13:59,439
be sure to smash
that subscribe button.
301
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:02,876
-And--
-Get your balls off the table!
302
00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:05,812
Oh, oh, great Sharon
you just ruined the shot!
303
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:09,049
The guys at the deli wanted me
to say hi, Randy.
304
00:14:09,149 --> 00:14:11,251
They all saw you on OnlyFans.
305
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,053
Really?
Are they gonna subscribe?
306
00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:14,787
No, they're not going
to subscribe.
307
00:14:14,888 --> 00:14:16,957
Nobody's going
to subscribe, Randy.
308
00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:18,892
Will you fucking stop?
309
00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:20,560
This stuff takes time!
310
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:22,729
You don't just put up a page
and immediately get followers.
311
00:14:22,829 --> 00:14:24,998
You have to support it
with other social media,
312
00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:26,433
have a craft to teach...
313
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,735
Being an influencer
takes time, Sharon!
314
00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:30,971
Oh, so now
you're an influencer?
315
00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:32,906
Yes! I'm an influencer.
316
00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:35,742
Maybe you should see
how it feels, Randy.
317
00:14:35,842 --> 00:14:39,479
Maybe I should go
and do my own OnlyFans.
318
00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:41,648
What? What?
319
00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:44,017
Yeah, like people are gonna pay
to see your OnlyFans.
320
00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:46,086
I'll make more than you do!
321
00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:48,388
Sharon, being
an influencer is work.
322
00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:50,357
You got to pay for the lighting,
for the sound,
323
00:14:50,457 --> 00:14:51,824
you got to be good at editing!
324
00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:53,160
Okay. Cool, Randy.
325
00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:54,794
I'm gonna go start
an OnlyFans channel.
326
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:58,365
Ok-okay.
Okay, you go do that, Sharon!
327
00:14:58,465 --> 00:15:01,201
I'm gonna fuckin' do it!
328
00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:04,204
Okay, yeah, go supplement
our income, Shar...
329
00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:07,774
Sharon?
330
00:15:12,145 --> 00:15:14,381
* *
331
00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:33,733
You got this day, bro!
332
00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:37,370
You're strong and I'm gonna
keep on making videos for you.
333
00:15:45,312 --> 00:15:47,080
* I've got Cred, bitches *
334
00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:48,381
* I've got Cred *
335
00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:50,483
* I've got Cred, bitches *
336
00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:52,485
* I've got Cred. *
337
00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:57,390
Hey, guys, we're having
a Cred affinity group meeting
338
00:15:57,490 --> 00:15:58,925
today at 4:00.
Nobody's allowed but us, okay?
339
00:15:59,026 --> 00:16:00,393
Hey, Jordan.
340
00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:01,694
We're having a meeting today.
You can't come.
341
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:02,962
Affinity group meeting
today, Sally.
342
00:16:03,063 --> 00:16:04,297
You're not invited.
343
00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:05,565
Well, I think that's just
about everyone.
344
00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:06,833
Tweek, did you tell
Spencer Hollis
345
00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:08,368
he's not allowed
in the affinity group?
346
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:09,902
Yeah. You told me
to call him last night.
347
00:16:10,003 --> 00:16:11,204
He didn't seem to care.
348
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,506
-Yeah, he cares.
-Oh, there's Clyde!
349
00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:17,344
Hey, Clyde. Look at you
with your nice new backpack.
350
00:16:17,444 --> 00:16:19,112
Oh, uh, yeah.
You guys like it?
351
00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:20,280
Yeah, it's really cool.
352
00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:21,714
You can see your Cred now.
353
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,416
Yeah, it's really nice
the way your Cred is--
354
00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:26,586
Oh, my God! Clyde!
You got Moonrise Mellow?
355
00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:28,688
How the hell did you get
a bottle of Moonrise Mellow?
356
00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:31,524
Oh, it was just, uh,
what my parents gave me today.
357
00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:33,026
You guys,
Moonrise Mellow is, like,
358
00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:34,527
the hardest flavor to get ever.
359
00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:37,464
-Whoa, lucky.
-Yeah, hey, I'm not sharing.
360
00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:40,233
-Hey, Stan. Hey, Stan.
-No, no, dude, wait.
361
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,802
Check out what Clyde has.
Moonrise Mellow.
362
00:16:42,902 --> 00:16:43,836
That's impossible.
363
00:16:43,936 --> 00:16:45,572
Look at their faces.
364
00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:47,207
They're so jealous.
365
00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:48,575
No, it's really impossible.
366
00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:50,310
Moonrise Mellow was
discontinued months ago.
367
00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:53,080
Guess you wish now that you were
in the Cred affinity group.
368
00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:55,882
We told you guys we have better
Cred than anyone at school.
369
00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:57,250
It's probably fake.
370
00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:59,152
Oh! Oh, you think
it's fake, huh?
371
00:16:59,252 --> 00:17:01,088
You want to fucking taste it?
372
00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:02,889
What the fuck?
373
00:17:02,989 --> 00:17:04,924
This is fucking apple juice.
Gross!
374
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:07,927
-Let's see.
-Hey, give it back.
375
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:10,130
Yeah, it's apple juice.
You guys are posers.
376
00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:11,598
We're not posers!
377
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:14,401
Hey, guys. Cred affinity group
uses fake Cred.
378
00:17:17,437 --> 00:17:18,638
What the fuck?
379
00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:20,073
What the fuck
have you done, Clyde?
380
00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:21,241
I'm sorry, okay?
381
00:17:21,341 --> 00:17:22,575
Oh, he's sorry.
382
00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:24,277
He faked having Cred,
but he's sorry!
383
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:27,447
All right, look, my parents
won't let me drink Cred, okay?
384
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:29,416
They think it's bad for me.
385
00:17:29,516 --> 00:17:31,751
So you never had Cred?
386
00:17:31,851 --> 00:17:32,852
No.
387
00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:34,154
Oh, my God!
388
00:17:34,254 --> 00:17:36,423
We all said you had Cred
in your backpack, Clyde.
389
00:17:36,523 --> 00:17:37,757
We fucking backed you!
390
00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:39,892
What the hell are we gonna do?
391
00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:41,161
Why do you guys care?
392
00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:42,495
I'm the one who doesn't
have any Cred!
393
00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:43,930
That's not how it works, man!
394
00:17:44,030 --> 00:17:45,632
If you don't have Cred,
then everyone around you
395
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,267
loses all their Cred.
396
00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:49,869
We're dead.
We're fuckin' dead.
397
00:17:49,969 --> 00:17:51,471
Word is gonna spread
through the school
398
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:52,839
that our affinity group
has no Cred
399
00:17:52,939 --> 00:17:54,641
and then we're gonna--
400
00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:01,381
How could you do this
to us, Clyde?
401
00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:03,350
I'm sorry.
It was all the pressure.
402
00:18:05,218 --> 00:18:07,487
I never even wanted to be
in an affinity group.
403
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,021
Now I'm doomed!
404
00:18:11,191 --> 00:18:14,527
Ooh... oh. Oh, yeah.
405
00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:16,863
-You like that, guys?
-Oh, my God.
406
00:18:16,963 --> 00:18:19,732
-Oh... Oh, God.
-Oh, my God. She did it.
407
00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:22,402
-Mm... Oh, yeah.
-She actually did it.
408
00:18:22,502 --> 00:18:25,071
-She actually got
more subscribers than me.
-Ooh, yeah, guys.
409
00:18:25,172 --> 00:18:26,839
Oh, yeah.
410
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:28,675
Just let me know
if there's anything special
411
00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:30,343
you'd like to see, guys.
412
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:32,712
-3,100 subscribers.
-Ooh...
413
00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:34,481
-Oh, oh, yeah...
-How is that possible?
414
00:18:34,581 --> 00:18:36,283
I mean, look at that,
the lighting sucks.
415
00:18:36,383 --> 00:18:37,684
The sound keeps clipping
416
00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:39,786
like she got a microphone
at Walmart or something.
417
00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:42,655
And who's that guy?
He's blocking half the shot.
418
00:18:42,755 --> 00:18:45,258
-Oh, oh, ooh...
-This is total amateur hour!
419
00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:47,527
Thanks for calling
OnlyFans customer support.
420
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:48,795
How can I help you?
421
00:18:48,895 --> 00:18:50,997
Yeah, I just found out
that my wife has
422
00:18:51,097 --> 00:18:52,365
an OnlyFans page,
423
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:54,734
and in one day she has
more subscribers than me.
424
00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:57,270
I'm starting to think
this whole thing is rigged.
425
00:18:57,370 --> 00:18:58,838
Well, it is slightly easier
426
00:18:58,938 --> 00:19:01,708
for our female content creators
to find an audience.
427
00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:04,544
Look, my wife can't become
a bigger influencer than me.
428
00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:05,745
I'll never hear the end of it.
429
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:07,480
Well, sir, have you been trying
430
00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:09,649
the pointers we discussed
to reach a larger audience?
431
00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:11,318
Yes! I added a skill.
432
00:19:11,418 --> 00:19:14,721
I'm advertising my OnlyFans page
with TikTok and Instagram.
433
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:17,257
What about optimizing
your algorithm?
434
00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:19,592
Oh, um, how do I do that?
435
00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:21,060
No, no, no.
Not with your penis.
436
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,029
See, what a lot
of influencers will do is
437
00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:25,565
they talk about things
and show things in their videos
438
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:26,733
that are trending.
439
00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:28,435
Then you can hashtag that,
440
00:19:28,535 --> 00:19:30,770
and the search engines will
think your content is trending.
441
00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:34,941
So I... add stuff to my videos
that's popular,
442
00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:37,009
and people will
accidentally go to my page
443
00:19:37,109 --> 00:19:38,845
trying to search
for that popular thing.
444
00:19:38,945 --> 00:19:39,979
Exactly.
445
00:19:40,079 --> 00:19:41,381
That's perfect!
446
00:19:41,481 --> 00:19:45,084
But what's trending most
on the Internet right now?
447
00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:52,759
Oh, hey there, Clyde.
How was school?
448
00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:55,628
You want to know how school was?
449
00:19:55,728 --> 00:19:57,196
It fucking sucked!
450
00:19:57,297 --> 00:19:59,766
All I wanted was to have
a little bit of Cred at school,
451
00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:02,302
but now I've destroyed it
and everyone hates me!
452
00:20:02,402 --> 00:20:05,772
Oh, Clyde, we're always trying
to do what's best for you.
453
00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:07,807
And you shut
the fuck up, Janice!
454
00:20:07,907 --> 00:20:10,810
-You are not my mom.
-Clyde!
455
00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:15,014
I seriously can't stand
how stupid people are sometimes.
456
00:20:15,114 --> 00:20:17,717
That's why I do
all my pranks and stuff.
457
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,753
Sometimes it's impossible
to stay positive
458
00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:22,188
when everyone sucks so hard.
459
00:20:22,289 --> 00:20:23,890
If you like
what I'm saying in this video,
460
00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:26,058
smash that like button
down below.
461
00:20:26,959 --> 00:20:28,395
You know, the thing is,
462
00:20:28,495 --> 00:20:29,929
when you really feel
the most down,
463
00:20:30,029 --> 00:20:32,332
that's when you got to
fight the hardest, you know?
464
00:20:33,132 --> 00:20:35,935
I'm gonna give you 10 tips
to being tougher.
465
00:20:36,035 --> 00:20:38,438
But first I want to give
a shout-out to our sponsor
466
00:20:38,538 --> 00:20:40,172
Cred hydration drinks!
467
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,242
Cred gives you all
the energy you need!
468
00:20:43,343 --> 00:20:45,978
And now Cred has an all-new
exclusive flavor.
469
00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:48,515
Introducing new Mega Cred.
470
00:20:48,615 --> 00:20:49,882
It's a super limited edition
471
00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:52,251
only available
to a select few.
472
00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:54,454
And Cred's doing a big giveaway
473
00:20:54,554 --> 00:20:57,890
and maybe these super limited
edition bottles can be yours.
474
00:20:57,990 --> 00:20:59,992
* *
475
00:21:02,529 --> 00:21:03,830
So I looked it up,
476
00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:05,231
and there's this drink
called Cred
477
00:21:05,332 --> 00:21:07,600
that's the most searched thing
on the internet.
478
00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:09,101
I figured if I can get my hands
479
00:21:09,201 --> 00:21:10,970
on some of the more
hard to get bottles
480
00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:13,873
and put them in my videos,
maybe I'll get more traffic.
481
00:21:13,973 --> 00:21:16,643
Everyone says maybe
you can help me.
482
00:21:18,311 --> 00:21:21,147
Cred? What's Cred?
Never heard of it.
483
00:21:22,181 --> 00:21:24,050
Okay, look,
I'm not wearing a wire.
484
00:21:24,150 --> 00:21:25,618
You want to see?
485
00:21:25,718 --> 00:21:28,321
No, no, I don't want to see!
What the hell is wrong with you?
486
00:21:28,421 --> 00:21:30,390
I'm looking for a lot of Cred.
487
00:21:30,490 --> 00:21:31,824
Maybe I can even get them
488
00:21:31,924 --> 00:21:33,726
to eventually sponsor
my adult web channel.
489
00:21:33,826 --> 00:21:35,027
Oh, okay. Then you'll want
490
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:36,696
some of the harder stuff
that's marketed
491
00:21:36,796 --> 00:21:37,997
for adults only.
492
00:21:38,097 --> 00:21:40,266
Like maybe...
Peppa Pig Peppermint.
493
00:21:40,367 --> 00:21:42,535
That doesn't sound like
it's marketed for adults.
494
00:21:42,635 --> 00:21:46,373
Oh, well, maybe you want to try
the I'm a Big Boy Blueberry.
495
00:21:46,473 --> 00:21:48,475
All right, look, just--
How much for the whole bag?
496
00:21:48,575 --> 00:21:50,643
You want my whole bag of Cred?
497
00:21:50,743 --> 00:21:51,944
I want you to supply me
498
00:21:52,044 --> 00:21:54,046
with every bottle of Cred
you can find.
499
00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:57,183
I have to have more subscribers
than my wife.
500
00:22:07,927 --> 00:22:10,363
Eric, sweetie,
are you feeling any better?
501
00:22:11,431 --> 00:22:13,800
No, Mom, I'm dying.
502
00:22:13,900 --> 00:22:16,403
I've been completely
discredited.
503
00:22:17,169 --> 00:22:21,140
Eric, everything is going
to be okay at school tomorrow.
504
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:22,742
It's too late.
505
00:22:22,842 --> 00:22:24,444
I've already stepped down
as founder and chairman
506
00:22:24,544 --> 00:22:25,978
of my own affinity group.
507
00:22:26,078 --> 00:22:28,715
You'll find my letter of
resignation on the nightstand.
508
00:22:30,983 --> 00:22:32,619
I'm choosing to step down
509
00:22:32,719 --> 00:22:35,722
before all those sick bastards
at school try and force me out.
510
00:22:35,822 --> 00:22:37,924
Well, you need to sit up
for just a minute.
511
00:22:38,024 --> 00:22:39,892
Your little friend Clyde
wants to talk to you.
512
00:22:39,992 --> 00:22:42,629
Clyde? No, no, no, no, no.
Do not let-- Mom!
513
00:22:42,729 --> 00:22:44,731
Do not let Clyde in my--
Aw, goddamn it.
514
00:22:44,831 --> 00:22:46,365
What do you guys want?
515
00:22:46,466 --> 00:22:49,068
Eric, Clyde has an idea
that might save our Cred.
516
00:22:49,869 --> 00:22:52,405
Nothing is going to save
our Cred, you boners.
517
00:22:52,505 --> 00:22:54,040
Will you just listen?
518
00:22:54,140 --> 00:22:56,308
My influencer said there's
gonna be a big Cred promotion
519
00:22:56,409 --> 00:22:57,544
at a CVS in Pueblo.
520
00:22:57,644 --> 00:22:58,945
A promotion, great.
521
00:22:59,045 --> 00:23:00,447
They're gonna sell
a very limited quantity
522
00:23:00,547 --> 00:23:02,849
of an all-new Cred
that nobody's even tried yet.
523
00:23:02,949 --> 00:23:04,851
So we could ditch school,
524
00:23:04,951 --> 00:23:06,285
find a way to get to Pueblo
525
00:23:06,385 --> 00:23:08,187
and come back with a Cred
nobody else can even get.
526
00:23:08,287 --> 00:23:09,789
We'd have our Cred back.
527
00:23:10,690 --> 00:23:12,659
We followed Clyde before,
you guys,
528
00:23:12,759 --> 00:23:14,461
and it cost us everything.
529
00:23:14,561 --> 00:23:16,028
Look, 50 cases of Cred,
530
00:23:16,128 --> 00:23:17,964
only available tomorrow
200 miles away
531
00:23:18,064 --> 00:23:19,866
and then not available
for another six months.
532
00:23:19,966 --> 00:23:21,367
It's called Mega Cred.
533
00:23:24,771 --> 00:23:26,272
All right, you son of a bitch.
534
00:23:26,372 --> 00:23:29,375
Maybe our affinity group
isn't dead just yet.
535
00:23:34,046 --> 00:23:36,048
Hey, what up, guys?
It's your boy Randy.
536
00:23:36,148 --> 00:23:37,617
In this video,
I'm gonna be trying out
537
00:23:37,717 --> 00:23:40,286
six different flavors
of the newest sports drink.
538
00:23:40,386 --> 00:23:43,155
As you can see, I've got
lots of Cred. Do you like Cred?
539
00:23:43,255 --> 00:23:44,624
If so, leave a comment
down below,
540
00:23:44,724 --> 00:23:46,325
and maybe smash
that like button.
541
00:23:46,425 --> 00:23:48,260
Okay, we're gonna start
with Summer Popsicle.
542
00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:49,996
I guess it's pretty popular.
543
00:23:50,096 --> 00:23:52,699
Smells okay.
Let's see how good it is.
544
00:23:54,701 --> 00:23:56,335
Ooh. Oh, okay, yeah.
545
00:23:56,435 --> 00:23:57,670
That one's kind of fizzy.
546
00:23:57,770 --> 00:23:59,672
K-Kind of fizzy,
but more on the penis
547
00:23:59,772 --> 00:24:01,040
than it is on them balls.
548
00:24:01,140 --> 00:24:02,542
Yeah, this is really nice.
549
00:24:02,642 --> 00:24:04,310
Oh. Oh, yeah, it looks good.
550
00:24:04,410 --> 00:24:06,278
Yeah, looks delicious.
Oishii.
551
00:24:06,378 --> 00:24:08,815
Hey If you're liking the
content, be sure to subscribe.
552
00:24:08,915 --> 00:24:10,116
Really helps the channel out.
553
00:24:10,216 --> 00:24:11,918
Let's move on
to another flavor now.
554
00:24:12,018 --> 00:24:13,853
This one's called
Purple Snow Globe.
555
00:24:13,953 --> 00:24:15,254
Let's see how it tastes.
556
00:24:15,354 --> 00:24:18,090
Ooh. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that's a good one.
557
00:24:21,528 --> 00:24:22,929
Oh?
558
00:24:23,730 --> 00:24:24,731
Oh, my God!
559
00:24:24,831 --> 00:24:26,165
Hey, Sharon!
560
00:24:26,265 --> 00:24:28,200
Sharon, you got to see this!
561
00:24:31,003 --> 00:24:32,572
Oh, there you are, Sharon.
562
00:24:32,672 --> 00:24:35,642
Been out shopping with all
the money you made on OnlyFans?
563
00:24:35,742 --> 00:24:37,977
I'm ready to stop
whenever you are.
564
00:24:38,077 --> 00:24:40,146
Oh, ho! Yeah,
I don't think so, Sharon.
565
00:24:40,246 --> 00:24:43,215
I just had a video on TikTok
with 1,000 views
566
00:24:43,315 --> 00:24:45,752
and a video on Meta with 2,000!
567
00:24:45,852 --> 00:24:49,088
That's gonna drive all the
subscribers to my OnlyFans page.
568
00:24:49,188 --> 00:24:52,224
You said my penis wasn't
a big deal, and now look!
569
00:24:52,992 --> 00:24:55,094
What are you doing
to that Cred bottle?
570
00:24:55,194 --> 00:24:57,029
Oh, that's just
a little trend jumping.
571
00:24:57,129 --> 00:25:00,199
Randy, you know who
drinks Cred, right? Children!
572
00:25:00,299 --> 00:25:02,201
No, it's not even
suitable for children.
573
00:25:02,301 --> 00:25:04,170
Okay, this has to stop, Randy.
574
00:25:04,270 --> 00:25:07,439
The only views you're getting on
TikTok and Meta are from kids!
575
00:25:07,540 --> 00:25:09,909
That's not what
the data shows, Sharon.
576
00:25:10,009 --> 00:25:11,277
According to Meta and TikTok,
577
00:25:11,377 --> 00:25:12,912
their audience
is predominately people
578
00:25:13,012 --> 00:25:14,280
over the age of 22.
579
00:25:14,380 --> 00:25:16,382
That means it's not kids
who care about Cred,
580
00:25:16,482 --> 00:25:19,418
it's adults
who want to see my dick.
581
00:25:20,186 --> 00:25:22,989
Randy, please.
Let's just call it a tie, okay?
582
00:25:23,089 --> 00:25:25,191
Oh, I bet you'd love that now.
583
00:25:25,291 --> 00:25:29,028
Now that my OnlyFans is
about to be bigger than yours.
584
00:25:29,128 --> 00:25:31,898
I'm gonna beat your ass, honey!
585
00:25:39,505 --> 00:25:40,907
Oh, Jesus, now it looks
like they're doing
586
00:25:41,007 --> 00:25:42,842
a two-bottle max per person.
587
00:25:42,942 --> 00:25:45,712
O-Okay, so two bottles each.
That means we'll have eight.
588
00:25:45,812 --> 00:25:47,747
-Is that enough Cred?
-Oh, my God.
589
00:25:47,847 --> 00:25:49,048
No!
590
00:25:49,148 --> 00:25:51,117
We want Cred!
We want Cred!
591
00:25:51,217 --> 00:25:54,687
We want Cred! We want Cred!
592
00:25:54,787 --> 00:25:56,455
Dude, there's like
2,000 kids here.
593
00:25:56,555 --> 00:25:58,057
Don't these losers have
anything better to do
594
00:25:58,157 --> 00:25:59,558
than fight over a shitty drink?
595
00:25:59,659 --> 00:26:01,360
Come on, we gotta make our way
to the front.
596
00:26:01,460 --> 00:26:04,764
Tom, I'm standing
outside the CVS in Pueblo
597
00:26:04,864 --> 00:26:08,167
where thousands of children
have shown up to get some Cred.
598
00:26:08,267 --> 00:26:10,002
The fake sugar hydration drink
599
00:26:10,102 --> 00:26:12,271
is considered
not suitable for children
600
00:26:12,371 --> 00:26:14,173
and yet kids
are literally fighting
601
00:26:14,273 --> 00:26:16,776
to get their hands
on this limited edition.
602
00:26:16,876 --> 00:26:20,579
I'll be covering the whole thing
live here on my OnlyFans page.
603
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:23,916
Just DM me if there's anything
custom you'd like to see.
604
00:26:24,016 --> 00:26:25,551
Dude, this is fucking crazy!
605
00:26:25,652 --> 00:26:27,854
There's never gonna be
enough Cred for everybody!
606
00:26:27,954 --> 00:26:30,757
Oh, my God. No. No!
607
00:26:30,857 --> 00:26:32,558
It's fucking Spencer Hollis.
608
00:26:32,659 --> 00:26:34,627
Hey, stop pushing, kid.
609
00:26:34,727 --> 00:26:36,863
What's he doing here,
that dirty son a bitch?
610
00:26:36,963 --> 00:26:38,397
He fucking ditched school
to come get Cred
611
00:26:38,497 --> 00:26:40,900
and he doesn't even like it!
He's a fucking poser!
612
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:45,638
We want Cred! We want Cred!
We want Cred!
613
00:26:45,738 --> 00:26:48,040
The delivery truck!
614
00:26:52,344 --> 00:26:53,345
Ah!
615
00:26:53,445 --> 00:26:55,047
-Ah! Get away!
-Give me Cred!
616
00:26:55,147 --> 00:26:57,850
You're all a bunch
of animals! Ah!
617
00:26:57,950 --> 00:26:59,652
Cred! Give me the Cred!
618
00:26:59,752 --> 00:27:01,053
I got to have Cred!
619
00:27:01,153 --> 00:27:04,657
We want Cred! We want Cred!
620
00:27:04,757 --> 00:27:07,159
Okay, go, go, go!
621
00:27:08,060 --> 00:27:09,295
Okay, okay, it's here,
you bastards.
622
00:27:09,395 --> 00:27:10,830
-Come in and-- Ah!
-I was here--
623
00:27:10,930 --> 00:27:13,332
Tweek's not gonna make it,
you guys.
624
00:27:14,967 --> 00:27:18,004
-Where is it?
-Where's the Cred?
625
00:27:20,072 --> 00:27:21,540
It's over there!
626
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:22,909
Give me Cred!
627
00:27:23,009 --> 00:27:25,577
Me first! Me first!
628
00:27:27,613 --> 00:27:29,215
Give me the Cred!
629
00:27:31,650 --> 00:27:33,085
Ah! Ah!
630
00:27:33,185 --> 00:27:35,855
There's some, right there! Ah!
631
00:27:35,955 --> 00:27:38,124
It's gone! It's all gone!
632
00:27:43,029 --> 00:27:44,697
Mom!
633
00:27:45,732 --> 00:27:46,799
Spencer?
634
00:27:46,899 --> 00:27:49,368
Start the car! Start the car!
635
00:27:49,468 --> 00:27:51,170
Jesus Christ!
636
00:27:51,270 --> 00:27:53,305
Start the fucking car, Mom!
637
00:27:53,405 --> 00:27:55,541
Spencer's getting away
with the Cred!
638
00:27:59,578 --> 00:28:01,613
No!
639
00:28:02,414 --> 00:28:05,451
Well, these are extremely
impressive numbers.
640
00:28:05,551 --> 00:28:08,454
It looks like your content's
getting a lot of views online.
641
00:28:08,554 --> 00:28:09,756
Yeah, thanks.
642
00:28:09,856 --> 00:28:11,357
But you see,
what I'm trying to learn now
643
00:28:11,457 --> 00:28:13,292
is how to take
all the views I'm getting
644
00:28:13,392 --> 00:28:15,661
on like Instagram and stuff
and use them
645
00:28:15,762 --> 00:28:17,196
to make myself bigger.
646
00:28:17,296 --> 00:28:19,031
Well, we can help you with that.
647
00:28:19,131 --> 00:28:20,132
You know, to really succeed,
648
00:28:20,232 --> 00:28:21,633
you gotta ask yourself:
649
00:28:21,734 --> 00:28:24,771
What is it that you want
to achieve as an influencer?
650
00:28:24,871 --> 00:28:27,606
Well, what I really want to do
651
00:28:27,706 --> 00:28:29,441
is beat my wife.
652
00:28:32,411 --> 00:28:33,946
You want to beat your wife?
653
00:28:34,046 --> 00:28:35,815
I mean, don't we all?
654
00:28:35,915 --> 00:28:37,216
I-I don't understand,
655
00:28:37,316 --> 00:28:39,752
you want to beat your wife
on Instagram?
656
00:28:39,852 --> 00:28:41,153
I want to beat her on Instagram,
657
00:28:41,253 --> 00:28:42,755
I want to beat her on TikTok,
658
00:28:42,855 --> 00:28:45,624
but mostly I want to beat
the shit out of her on OnlyFans
659
00:28:45,724 --> 00:28:47,359
and make a lot
of money doing it.
660
00:28:47,459 --> 00:28:50,429
Hmm. Okay, well, if you can
get the kids to watch
661
00:28:50,529 --> 00:28:52,198
then we can find you a sponsor.
662
00:28:52,298 --> 00:28:54,633
Organizations will do anything
to reach kids these days.
663
00:28:54,733 --> 00:28:56,568
Oh, yeah, yeah,
but, see, my content
664
00:28:56,668 --> 00:28:58,838
actually isn't suitable
for children.
665
00:28:58,938 --> 00:29:00,840
Right. I mean, the data shows
666
00:29:00,940 --> 00:29:03,609
kids aren't the main audience
for any of this stuff, right?
667
00:29:03,709 --> 00:29:06,478
-Right.
-Right.
668
00:29:06,578 --> 00:29:09,648
Mr. Marsh, the thing is,
a sponsor not only gets you cash
669
00:29:09,748 --> 00:29:12,284
but they also help
you push that algorithm
670
00:29:12,384 --> 00:29:14,620
so that their message
is heard through you.
671
00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:16,088
Oh, really?
672
00:29:16,188 --> 00:29:17,689
Yeah, there's gonna be
a lot of companies
673
00:29:17,790 --> 00:29:20,526
that want to pay you to show
your videos to "not kids."
674
00:29:20,626 --> 00:29:22,528
But what we want to do
is get these sponsors
675
00:29:22,628 --> 00:29:24,663
to bid against each other
for your audience.
676
00:29:24,763 --> 00:29:26,966
That's when you become
a big influencer.
677
00:29:27,066 --> 00:29:29,969
And then you can beat
your wife as much as you want.
678
00:29:30,069 --> 00:29:32,404
Wow.
679
00:30:21,687 --> 00:30:22,788
There's nothing.
680
00:30:22,889 --> 00:30:24,423
Just two more
broken Cred bottles.
681
00:30:24,523 --> 00:30:27,093
And a couple of cans
of SpaghettiOs.
682
00:30:31,998 --> 00:30:33,799
I don't think I can go back.
683
00:30:33,900 --> 00:30:35,667
Go back to what?
684
00:30:35,767 --> 00:30:37,836
Spencer Hollis
has all the Cred now.
685
00:30:37,937 --> 00:30:40,272
Tomorrow, he'll start
his own affinity group
686
00:30:40,372 --> 00:30:42,274
and not let any of us in.
687
00:30:42,374 --> 00:30:45,244
Don't you guys think
this is all fucked up?
688
00:30:45,344 --> 00:30:47,646
Yeah, fucked up 'cause of you.
689
00:30:47,746 --> 00:30:49,781
No, I mean what
they're doing to us.
690
00:30:49,882 --> 00:30:52,784
Look at this. My influencer
told me to come down here.
691
00:30:52,885 --> 00:30:54,520
He knew there wasn't gonna
be enough Cred for everyone.
692
00:30:54,620 --> 00:30:56,188
It's like--
It's like they wanted to create
693
00:30:56,288 --> 00:30:59,325
this false scarcity.
Give all us kids FOMO.
694
00:30:59,425 --> 00:31:02,061
If anyone's a FOMO,
Clyde, it's you.
695
00:31:02,161 --> 00:31:05,264
You guys aren't listening.
We've been manipulated.
696
00:31:05,364 --> 00:31:07,166
If kids are willing to fight
and die over this,
697
00:31:07,266 --> 00:31:09,468
then what else would they be
willing to fight and die over?
698
00:31:09,568 --> 00:31:11,670
Nobody in school cared
about hydration drinks
699
00:31:11,770 --> 00:31:13,039
three weeks ago.
700
00:31:13,139 --> 00:31:15,541
My influencer convinced me
to come down here.
701
00:31:15,641 --> 00:31:18,077
What else is
he convincing me to do?
702
00:31:18,177 --> 00:31:20,779
So, maybe if we find
your influencer,
703
00:31:20,879 --> 00:31:22,014
then he can give us Cred?
704
00:31:22,114 --> 00:31:23,282
No!
705
00:31:23,382 --> 00:31:25,251
No, no, no.
I like your angle, Clyde.
706
00:31:25,351 --> 00:31:26,919
Maybe this whole thing
is a sham.
707
00:31:27,019 --> 00:31:28,854
If we can make
the whole thing look stupid,
708
00:31:28,955 --> 00:31:30,656
then we make a Cred
affinity group look stupid.
709
00:31:30,756 --> 00:31:32,824
Then Spencer Hollis will
have nothing to keep us out of.
710
00:31:32,925 --> 00:31:35,494
I just know there's more
to all this than we think.
711
00:31:35,594 --> 00:31:37,596
I know what town
my influencer lives in.
712
00:31:37,696 --> 00:31:39,698
I want some goddamn answers.
713
00:31:39,798 --> 00:31:41,133
Tweek, Butters,
714
00:31:41,233 --> 00:31:42,734
gather up all the Pop-Tarts
and SpaghettiOs you can.
715
00:31:42,834 --> 00:31:45,904
We move out at
oh-ninety-two-hundred.
716
00:31:54,046 --> 00:31:55,481
Can I help you?
717
00:31:55,581 --> 00:31:57,383
Yeah, hi, I'm a big influencer?
718
00:31:57,483 --> 00:32:00,386
My agent sent me here
to find a sponsor?
719
00:32:00,486 --> 00:32:03,289
-Name.
-Uh, Randy Marsh?
720
00:32:03,389 --> 00:32:05,024
It's with five Rs
because there was already
721
00:32:05,124 --> 00:32:07,293
a Randy Marsh on TikTok.
722
00:32:07,393 --> 00:32:08,894
Put this around your neck.
Through that door
723
00:32:08,995 --> 00:32:10,796
and wait with
the other influencers.
724
00:32:10,896 --> 00:32:12,364
Oh, okay, thanks.
725
00:32:15,767 --> 00:32:17,669
Okay, influencers, follow me,
726
00:32:17,769 --> 00:32:19,538
stand in a straight line
and step forward
727
00:32:19,638 --> 00:32:21,640
when your number is called.
728
00:32:26,712 --> 00:32:28,180
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
729
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:30,282
We have some incredible
influencers available today.
730
00:32:30,382 --> 00:32:32,351
They are all
complete freelancers
731
00:32:32,451 --> 00:32:34,353
and looking for sponsors.
732
00:32:34,453 --> 00:32:37,856
First off, we have
influencer number 394
733
00:32:37,956 --> 00:32:39,325
This is BlinkyBlankyGirl.
734
00:32:39,425 --> 00:32:41,360
She has over 10,000 views
on Instagram,
735
00:32:41,460 --> 00:32:43,229
6,800 on TikTok
736
00:32:43,329 --> 00:32:45,164
and is up-and-coming
on Meta and X.
737
00:32:45,264 --> 00:32:46,665
Who would like to own
this influencer?
738
00:32:46,765 --> 00:32:48,934
We'll start the bidding at 20.
20, do I hear 20?
739
00:32:49,035 --> 00:32:50,536
There's 20. Do I hear 25, 25?
740
00:32:50,636 --> 00:32:54,006
Let's hear 25, 25, 30.
741
00:32:54,106 --> 00:32:55,474
25 from Mattel Toys.
742
00:32:55,574 --> 00:32:57,443
Mattel Toys now
the highest bidder at 25.
743
00:32:57,543 --> 00:33:01,713
25, who's gonna go for 30?
30, 30.
744
00:33:01,813 --> 00:33:03,815
30! 30 from Lunchables!
Let's go 50.
745
00:33:03,915 --> 00:33:05,317
50 now, who wants
the influencer?
746
00:33:05,417 --> 00:33:07,819
- 50, 50.
- 100!
747
00:33:07,919 --> 00:33:11,323
100! 100 from the Chinese
government! Can we go 150?
748
00:33:11,423 --> 00:33:13,692
150?
749
00:33:13,792 --> 00:33:15,561
150, 150, yes!
750
00:33:15,661 --> 00:33:17,329
Stoli Vodka at 150.
751
00:33:17,429 --> 00:33:18,997
150, the current bid
from Stoli Vodka.
752
00:33:19,098 --> 00:33:20,399
What about you, Build-A-Bear?
753
00:33:20,499 --> 00:33:23,902
Do we hear from Build-A-Bear?
754
00:33:24,002 --> 00:33:27,373
160! 160 from the NRA,
outbidding Stoli Vodka.
755
00:33:27,473 --> 00:33:29,708
Who wants to influence
the youngins more?
756
00:33:31,543 --> 00:33:33,445
170 from Voices for Ukraine.
757
00:33:33,545 --> 00:33:35,247
Don't let them
outbid you, Russia.
758
00:33:35,347 --> 00:33:37,416
No? Chinese government? No?
759
00:33:37,516 --> 00:33:40,619
Sold to Voices for Ukraine.
Thank you.
760
00:33:40,719 --> 00:33:43,389
I don't understand
what happened.
761
00:33:43,489 --> 00:33:44,690
Just keep making
your stupid videos,
762
00:33:44,790 --> 00:33:46,125
they'll tell you what to say.
763
00:33:46,225 --> 00:33:49,061
Okay, next up we have
influencer number 226.
764
00:33:49,161 --> 00:33:51,897
This is Kevinlovesoranges.
765
00:33:51,997 --> 00:33:55,334
Over six million views
on TikTok, 4,600 on Instagram
766
00:33:55,434 --> 00:33:57,203
and a small following
on X and Meta.
767
00:33:57,303 --> 00:34:00,005
Who wants Kevinlovesoranges
to push their agenda?
768
00:34:00,106 --> 00:34:02,908
We'll start at 40, 40.
China in at 40, China at 40.
769
00:34:03,008 --> 00:34:06,278
Who's gonna go 50?
Russia with 50.
770
00:34:06,378 --> 00:34:08,647
55, 60, Big Pharma at 60.
771
00:34:08,747 --> 00:34:10,416
60.
Kellogg's Cereal.
772
00:34:10,516 --> 00:34:11,817
Ravenclaw Casinos.
773
00:34:11,917 --> 00:34:13,319
Influence the children.
774
00:34:13,419 --> 00:34:15,721
Can I hear 70? Last call for 70.
775
00:34:17,123 --> 00:34:20,025
Sold to the Canadian government,
congratulations.
776
00:34:20,126 --> 00:34:22,861
Our next influencer, number 427.
777
00:34:22,961 --> 00:34:25,231
This is Randy Marrrrrsh.
778
00:34:25,331 --> 00:34:28,200
We'll start the bidding at 50.
50, do I hear 50? 50?
779
00:34:33,705 --> 00:34:35,907
50? No? Come on, Mattel Toys.
Let's hear from you.
780
00:34:36,007 --> 00:34:37,709
How about 40? 40?
781
00:34:37,809 --> 00:34:39,044
How about 40, let's do 40?
782
00:34:44,516 --> 00:34:46,618
Freeze! Nobody move!
783
00:34:53,392 --> 00:34:54,293
Up here! He's up here!
784
00:34:54,393 --> 00:34:56,462
Are you Randy Marrrrrsh?
785
00:34:56,562 --> 00:34:58,464
-Yeah?
-All right, we got him.
786
00:34:58,564 --> 00:34:59,665
Hands behind your back.
787
00:34:59,765 --> 00:35:01,333
Me? I didn't do anything.
788
00:35:01,433 --> 00:35:03,669
I'm just trying
to beat my wife.
789
00:35:03,769 --> 00:35:06,938
On your knees!
Hands behind your back now!
790
00:35:10,576 --> 00:35:12,878
Hello? Logan LaDouche?
791
00:35:12,978 --> 00:35:16,148
Hello? We know you're in there.
792
00:35:18,817 --> 00:35:21,420
Go away.
I'm in enough trouble as it is.
793
00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:23,355
Look, dude, we just want
to talk to you, okay?
794
00:35:23,455 --> 00:35:25,324
No, not okay. I'm in hiding.
795
00:35:25,424 --> 00:35:26,925
How did you guys find me?
796
00:35:27,025 --> 00:35:28,727
Dude, if you're in hiding,
you shouldn't probably post
797
00:35:28,827 --> 00:35:30,929
videos of yourself
at the motel you're hiding in.
798
00:35:31,029 --> 00:35:34,700
Shit. Shit,
I just can't help myself.
799
00:35:37,903 --> 00:35:40,606
Brah, we need to know
the truth about Cred.
800
00:35:40,706 --> 00:35:44,042
I'm sorry, okay?
I didn't mean to cause a riot.
801
00:35:44,142 --> 00:35:46,278
Did Cred want us all
to kill each other?
802
00:35:47,179 --> 00:35:50,449
If you found me,
then so can they. Just go.
803
00:35:50,549 --> 00:35:52,484
Okay, okay, fine,
Mr. Influencer,
804
00:35:52,584 --> 00:35:54,720
we'll leave.
805
00:35:54,820 --> 00:35:57,356
- Yeah.
- What the fuck
are you doing?
806
00:35:57,456 --> 00:35:59,157
Where's the Cred?
You got some Cred?
807
00:35:59,258 --> 00:36:00,592
Butters, Butters, calm down.
808
00:36:00,692 --> 00:36:02,228
They're gonna take me out, man.
809
00:36:02,328 --> 00:36:05,063
I should just turn myself in.
I'll be safer in jail.
810
00:36:05,163 --> 00:36:07,233
Listen, dude, I went to Pueblo
'cause of you.
811
00:36:07,333 --> 00:36:08,934
Why did you tell us
we could get Mega Cred
812
00:36:09,034 --> 00:36:10,502
when you knew
there wasn't enough?
813
00:36:10,602 --> 00:36:12,638
Brah, I don't even
drink that crap.
814
00:36:12,738 --> 00:36:14,172
Don't you get it, man?
815
00:36:14,273 --> 00:36:16,908
I'm just this tiny little piece
of a very big lie.
816
00:36:17,008 --> 00:36:19,010
You guys are all
being manipulated.
817
00:36:19,110 --> 00:36:21,213
I trusted you.
I've watched all your videos,
818
00:36:21,313 --> 00:36:23,482
and you told me to be strong
and never give up.
819
00:36:23,582 --> 00:36:25,451
That's all just Cred
messing with me?
820
00:36:25,551 --> 00:36:27,953
Don't you get it?
I don't work for Cred.
821
00:36:28,053 --> 00:36:30,556
The Cred is just there
to get views, man.
822
00:36:30,656 --> 00:36:32,224
'Cause kids love it so much.
823
00:36:32,324 --> 00:36:35,160
But if Cred isn't your sponsor,
then-then who is?
824
00:36:35,261 --> 00:36:38,797
If you knew,
it would make you sick.
825
00:36:39,765 --> 00:36:42,368
They just use you and Cred
to get to us,
826
00:36:42,468 --> 00:36:44,035
and those higher-up people
827
00:36:44,135 --> 00:36:45,904
can get us
some limited-edition Cred?
828
00:36:46,004 --> 00:36:48,940
-Who has the Cred?
-Butters, Jesus.
829
00:36:53,579 --> 00:36:55,347
Oh, there-there she is.
830
00:36:55,447 --> 00:36:57,082
Hey, Sharon.
831
00:36:57,182 --> 00:36:58,650
This is my wife, Sharon.
832
00:36:58,750 --> 00:37:00,886
She's an OnlyFans model
just like me.
833
00:37:00,986 --> 00:37:03,822
We are both legally
supplementing our income.
834
00:37:03,922 --> 00:37:06,191
So you work
with your husband, ma'am?
835
00:37:06,292 --> 00:37:08,860
No, we have very different
OnlyFans accounts.
836
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:10,862
I could never do what he does.
837
00:37:10,962 --> 00:37:12,964
Thanks, honey, it's nice for you
to finally admit it.
838
00:37:13,064 --> 00:37:15,634
Now I'd like to know
what I'm being detained for.
839
00:37:15,734 --> 00:37:17,503
Exposing children
to pornography,
840
00:37:17,603 --> 00:37:19,204
soliciting nude images
to a minor,
841
00:37:19,305 --> 00:37:20,539
child endangerment...
842
00:37:20,639 --> 00:37:22,308
Oh, come on, like it's just me?
843
00:37:22,408 --> 00:37:23,875
Everybody's doing it.
844
00:37:23,975 --> 00:37:26,144
There's an entire network
where everyone just pretends
845
00:37:26,244 --> 00:37:28,013
Internet platforms
aren't made for children
846
00:37:28,113 --> 00:37:31,182
but they all auction our kids
to the highest bidder.
847
00:37:32,217 --> 00:37:35,787
You seem like some kind of
influencer expert.
848
00:37:35,887 --> 00:37:37,956
Would you say these things
on record?
849
00:37:38,056 --> 00:37:39,858
No, 'cause
I'm a sovereign citizen,
850
00:37:39,958 --> 00:37:42,494
and I don't need to tell you
anything.
851
00:37:42,594 --> 00:37:45,631
-Randy, you need to cooperate.
-Why?
852
00:37:45,731 --> 00:37:47,999
I'll tell you why, scumbag.
853
00:37:48,099 --> 00:37:50,469
Your posts drew in
a lot of children,
854
00:37:50,569 --> 00:37:52,438
and they like to copy
what they see.
855
00:37:52,538 --> 00:37:56,308
So then kids started creating
their own erotic content
856
00:37:56,408 --> 00:37:58,243
based on yours.
857
00:37:58,344 --> 00:38:00,312
* *
858
00:38:00,412 --> 00:38:02,113
-What?
-That's right.
859
00:38:02,213 --> 00:38:04,983
We've just found
sexuality explicit,
860
00:38:05,083 --> 00:38:08,219
pornographic images of minors.
861
00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:10,922
I warn you,
what you are about to see
862
00:38:11,022 --> 00:38:14,393
is extremely disturbing
and graphic.
863
00:38:14,493 --> 00:38:16,728
* *
864
00:38:26,338 --> 00:38:29,475
Oh, God. Ugh.
865
00:38:29,575 --> 00:38:31,042
Oh, don't close your eyes now.
866
00:38:31,142 --> 00:38:34,212
You think these miners deserved
to be treated like this?
867
00:38:44,790 --> 00:38:47,893
What have I done? I had no idea.
868
00:38:47,993 --> 00:38:51,062
Randy, you knew kids were
watching your content.
869
00:38:51,162 --> 00:38:53,699
Yeah, but I never knew
it would lead to...
870
00:38:53,799 --> 00:38:55,901
pornographic images of miners.
871
00:38:56,001 --> 00:38:57,903
God, it's disgusting.
872
00:38:58,003 --> 00:39:00,939
Being an influencer
is disgusting.
873
00:39:01,039 --> 00:39:03,475
All right, I'm gonna tell you
everything I know
874
00:39:03,575 --> 00:39:05,511
about how the system works.
875
00:39:05,611 --> 00:39:07,212
This has to stop.
876
00:39:08,146 --> 00:39:09,415
Hey, what's up, guys?
877
00:39:09,515 --> 00:39:11,016
Just wanted to let you all know
that I think
878
00:39:11,116 --> 00:39:12,484
maybe I'm gonna get killed
or arrested,
879
00:39:12,584 --> 00:39:14,420
so I'm hiding out
in this motel room.
880
00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:17,055
Be sure to like and subscribe.
It really helps the channel out.
881
00:39:17,155 --> 00:39:18,924
Dude, will you stop
making videos?
882
00:39:19,024 --> 00:39:20,959
I don't know what else
to do, okay?
883
00:39:21,059 --> 00:39:23,695
All I've ever done
is make fucking videos.
884
00:39:23,795 --> 00:39:25,564
But for who?
You said it wasn't for Cred,
885
00:39:25,664 --> 00:39:27,098
so then who sponsors you?
886
00:39:27,198 --> 00:39:29,200
I just wanted to be
a big influencer.
887
00:39:29,300 --> 00:39:31,537
So I got put on this stage
and I was auctioned off
888
00:39:31,637 --> 00:39:33,138
to the highest bidder.
889
00:39:33,238 --> 00:39:36,107
People will pay anything to push
their agenda on you guys.
890
00:39:36,207 --> 00:39:38,376
What, you mean, like, the
Chinese government or something?
891
00:39:38,477 --> 00:39:41,279
I'm sponsored by people worse
than the Chinese government.
892
00:39:41,379 --> 00:39:43,882
I can't tell you who they are,
because then the companies
893
00:39:43,982 --> 00:39:46,284
that run the whole system
will have me killed.
894
00:39:46,384 --> 00:39:48,319
We deserve to know
who's been manipulating us.
895
00:39:48,420 --> 00:39:51,757
Tell us the truth and we'll
make sure you're safe, okay?
896
00:39:52,558 --> 00:39:54,059
You promise?
897
00:39:54,159 --> 00:39:56,462
Yes, we promise.
898
00:39:56,562 --> 00:39:58,163
Fine.
899
00:39:58,263 --> 00:40:00,932
The truth is,
I'm being paid by...
900
00:40:03,368 --> 00:40:05,103
Whoops!
901
00:40:07,806 --> 00:40:09,374
Okay, okay.
902
00:40:09,475 --> 00:40:12,077
We don't care who's trying
to influence us!
903
00:40:18,083 --> 00:40:19,350
The game is up, scumbag.
904
00:40:19,451 --> 00:40:21,987
We know about
the whole operation.
905
00:40:24,422 --> 00:40:26,124
We know everything.
906
00:40:26,224 --> 00:40:28,827
The influencers are being paid
by organizations
907
00:40:28,927 --> 00:40:32,030
to knowingly influence children.
908
00:40:33,732 --> 00:40:35,467
The data shows
that consumers
909
00:40:35,567 --> 00:40:39,805
of social media platforms are
predominately adults over 21.
910
00:40:39,905 --> 00:40:41,272
Oh, come on.
911
00:40:41,372 --> 00:40:43,374
Within tech companies,
it's an open secret
912
00:40:43,475 --> 00:40:47,613
that millions of users are
actually under the age of 13.
913
00:40:47,713 --> 00:40:49,915
Tech companies
are working diligently
914
00:40:50,015 --> 00:40:52,217
to find ways to make
the Internet safer for children,
915
00:40:52,317 --> 00:40:53,852
but these methods
are often criticized
916
00:40:53,952 --> 00:40:56,054
for violating free speech.
917
00:40:56,154 --> 00:40:59,725
Okay, and tech companies
use those assertions
918
00:40:59,825 --> 00:41:03,895
and their endless cash to keep
regulations tied up in court
919
00:41:03,995 --> 00:41:07,899
so they can continue
to profit off of our kids.
920
00:41:10,001 --> 00:41:13,905
Okay, well, you'll never
take me alive, copper.
921
00:41:20,579 --> 00:41:24,182
He's still alive.
Let's get City General out here.
922
00:41:27,418 --> 00:41:31,056
Who do you work for?
Who's trying to influence me?
923
00:41:38,797 --> 00:41:40,331
He's just the middleman, kids.
924
00:41:40,431 --> 00:41:44,269
Whoever was trying to influence
you is still a mystery.
925
00:41:58,249 --> 00:42:00,518
Hey, fellas, I got an idea.
926
00:42:00,619 --> 00:42:02,988
How about we just keep
our affinity group,
927
00:42:03,088 --> 00:42:04,556
but instead of it being
about Cred,
928
00:42:04,656 --> 00:42:07,659
it's just about how proud we are
of who we are.
929
00:42:07,759 --> 00:42:09,995
No, they won't let us do that,
Butters, 'cause we're white.
930
00:42:10,095 --> 00:42:11,362
White people can't be in groups
talking about
931
00:42:11,462 --> 00:42:13,431
how proud they are,
it doesn't fly.
932
00:42:13,531 --> 00:42:14,833
Dang it.
933
00:42:14,933 --> 00:42:16,702
Well, then, I guess
we just got to accept
934
00:42:16,802 --> 00:42:18,436
that we're gonna
go to school tomorrow
935
00:42:18,536 --> 00:42:20,305
and get totally boned.
936
00:42:20,405 --> 00:42:21,640
Yep.
937
00:42:23,174 --> 00:42:26,344
Hey, look, you guys. It's Cred.
938
00:42:32,217 --> 00:42:35,453
Mr. Marsh? What are you doing
with all that Cred?
939
00:42:35,553 --> 00:42:39,257
I'm putting it where it belongs,
in the garbage.
940
00:42:41,159 --> 00:42:43,094
But that's, like, Jelly Roll
Midnight Waffle House.
941
00:42:43,194 --> 00:42:44,963
Do you know what that's worth?
942
00:42:45,063 --> 00:42:46,431
Yeah, I know what it's worth.
943
00:42:46,531 --> 00:42:48,533
It's worth gold
to all the people in the world
944
00:42:48,634 --> 00:42:51,469
who want to use social media
to influence children.
945
00:42:51,569 --> 00:42:54,139
But there's more to life
than making money.
946
00:42:54,239 --> 00:42:57,676
And there's more to marriage
than just beating your wife.
947
00:42:57,776 --> 00:42:59,410
The bottom line is that
948
00:42:59,510 --> 00:43:02,113
all this social media
influencer garbage
949
00:43:02,213 --> 00:43:04,783
is not suitable for children.
950
00:43:04,883 --> 00:43:06,885
And if you're a kid
on social media,
951
00:43:06,985 --> 00:43:10,789
you have to know that someone
is always trying to get to you.
952
00:43:10,889 --> 00:43:13,224
All you have to do
is ask yourself,
953
00:43:13,324 --> 00:43:17,262
"Who is it that wants
to influence me the most?"
954
00:43:20,799 --> 00:43:23,268
Holy shit.
955
00:43:26,471 --> 00:43:28,907
Janice!
956
00:43:30,475 --> 00:43:33,578
Oh, Clyde, where have you been?
We've been worried sick.
957
00:43:33,679 --> 00:43:35,714
It was you, this whole time.
958
00:43:35,814 --> 00:43:38,216
You've been trying
to influence me for months.
959
00:43:38,316 --> 00:43:39,785
Clyde, you really should have
960
00:43:39,885 --> 00:43:41,286
let your father know
where you were...
961
00:43:41,386 --> 00:43:43,521
You've been paying an influencer
to try and reach me,
962
00:43:43,621 --> 00:43:45,590
and you caused this whole
fucking mess!
963
00:43:45,691 --> 00:43:48,059
What is this about, Janice?
964
00:43:48,159 --> 00:43:52,463
I don't think people understand
how hard it is to be a stepmom.
965
00:43:53,699 --> 00:43:55,500
You want to try
and teach your kids,
966
00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:59,070
but they don't listen because
you're not their "real parent."
967
00:44:00,238 --> 00:44:03,308
I just wanted to be
a good influence on you, Clyde.
968
00:44:03,408 --> 00:44:05,143
But influencing kids these days
969
00:44:05,243 --> 00:44:09,047
requires good lighting
and a quality microphone.
970
00:44:09,915 --> 00:44:11,950
But why Cred?
If you're so against it,
971
00:44:12,050 --> 00:44:13,584
then why have it
in all those videos?
972
00:44:13,685 --> 00:44:16,187
That was just to get
your views, Clyde.
973
00:44:16,287 --> 00:44:19,657
Your views
are so important to me,
974
00:44:19,758 --> 00:44:21,492
because we never talk.
975
00:44:21,592 --> 00:44:24,095
Maybe what I did
was all a bit much,
976
00:44:24,195 --> 00:44:25,964
but look at us.
977
00:44:26,064 --> 00:44:28,700
Here we are, talking.
978
00:44:31,469 --> 00:44:33,972
Janice, can I call you "Mom"?
979
00:44:34,072 --> 00:44:36,141
Yes, of course.
980
00:44:36,241 --> 00:44:38,343
Fuck you, Mom!
981
00:44:41,212 --> 00:44:43,414
Oh...
982
00:44:47,285 --> 00:44:49,721
Whoa, Spencer,
is that Mega Cred?
983
00:44:49,821 --> 00:44:51,222
Yeah, pretty cool, right?
984
00:44:51,322 --> 00:44:53,258
"Pretty cool"?
How'd you get that?
985
00:44:53,358 --> 00:44:55,761
Oh, I just went to this thing
in Pueblo. No big deal.
986
00:44:55,861 --> 00:44:59,097
Everyone! Everyone, can I have
your attention, please?
987
00:44:59,197 --> 00:45:01,332
We have something really
important to tell you guys.
988
00:45:01,432 --> 00:45:02,868
Tweek and Butters and I
have learned
989
00:45:02,968 --> 00:45:04,435
a lot of things recently.
990
00:45:04,535 --> 00:45:07,038
We have news
that you will all find shocking.
991
00:45:07,138 --> 00:45:09,040
You see, we talked to Mr. Marsh,
992
00:45:09,140 --> 00:45:11,276
and he gave us four bottles
993
00:45:11,376 --> 00:45:13,845
of Jelly Roll
Midnight Waffle House.
994
00:45:15,380 --> 00:45:17,082
No, no, no. Back up.
995
00:45:17,182 --> 00:45:19,517
This is for the Cred
affinity group only.
996
00:45:19,617 --> 00:45:22,187
-You can look at our Cred,
but don't touch.
-All right!
997
00:45:22,287 --> 00:45:24,722
Oh, oh, hey, Clyde.
998
00:45:24,823 --> 00:45:26,457
Say, Clyde, you, uh,
999
00:45:26,557 --> 00:45:28,459
forgot your super special
Jelly Roll Cred
1000
00:45:28,559 --> 00:45:30,495
at the group meeting, remember?
1001
00:45:38,169 --> 00:45:40,005
It tastes amazing.
1002
00:45:40,105 --> 00:45:41,239
All right!
1003
00:45:41,339 --> 00:45:43,641
Yeah! Clyde's got Cred again!
1004
00:45:50,715 --> 00:45:52,750
* *
1005
00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:24,749
* *
75983
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