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1
00:01:56,020 --> 00:01:58,620
TRAFFIC CONTROL: 41 Heavy, this is LAX tower. Do you read me?
2
00:01:58,650 --> 00:02:01,220
This is 41 Heavy,
go ahead LAX tower.
3
00:02:01,260 --> 00:02:04,630
41 Heavy, commence descent and await further landing instructions.
4
00:02:04,660 --> 00:02:06,860
Roger, traffic control.
5
00:02:06,890 --> 00:02:08,890
Philo,
I'm having a party tonight.
6
00:02:08,930 --> 00:02:10,600
You have a party
every night, George.
7
00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:13,830
Yeah, but this is different.
Tonight, some people
are actually gonna show up.
8
00:02:14,640 --> 00:02:15,970
Really? Why is that?
9
00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:17,660
Why is that?
10
00:02:17,710 --> 00:02:20,040
Well, I'll tell you why.
11
00:02:20,070 --> 00:02:23,270
I... I sort of promised
everyone that you'd be there.
12
00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:25,050
George!
13
00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:26,880
TRAFFIC CONTROL: 41 Heavy, this is LAX tower.
14
00:02:27,350 --> 00:02:28,650
Later.
15
00:02:29,020 --> 00:02:30,820
41 Heavy,
16
00:02:30,850 --> 00:02:34,180
you're cleared for landing on runway Aplha-Zulu-one at zero-niner-four.
17
00:02:34,220 --> 00:02:38,220
Roger, traffic control.
Aplha-Zulu-one
at zero-niner-four.
18
00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:46,660
(MECHANICAL WHIRRING)
19
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:50,630
Ladies and gentlemen,
I hope you had a pleasant
flight on Blue Sky Airlines
20
00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:53,930
and enjoy your stay
in Los Angeles.
21
00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:03,110
What a beautiful sight.
22
00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:08,320
It sure is.
23
00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:11,360
Are you out of your mind?
Sit down, George!
24
00:03:11,390 --> 00:03:13,650
Well, you don't understand.
You have to come to this party.
25
00:03:13,690 --> 00:03:16,690
I don't think you're
fully aware of the
gravity of the situation.
26
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:18,090
All right, I'll go.
Just sit down!
27
00:03:18,130 --> 00:03:19,690
Or I'll lie down.
You want me to go lie down?
28
00:03:19,730 --> 00:03:21,430
George!
Sorry.
29
00:03:21,470 --> 00:03:23,540
But you will come?
Yes!
30
00:03:23,570 --> 00:03:25,500
(CHUCKLING) All right!
31
00:03:25,540 --> 00:03:28,050
(GRUNTS) My contacts!
32
00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:30,480
TRAFFIC CONTROL: 41 Heavy, pull up. I repeat pull up.
33
00:03:30,510 --> 00:03:31,770
(GROANS)
34
00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:38,910
Hard left! Hard left!
35
00:03:47,330 --> 00:03:48,830
Pull up! Pull up!
36
00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:56,100
(SCREAMING) Oh, shit!
37
00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:04,940
FEMALE VOICE: Time of impact, 11:41 PM.
38
00:04:04,980 --> 00:04:09,450
Population, classification code: 4. Maximum density.
39
00:04:28,940 --> 00:04:31,210
Congratulations.
40
00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:34,850
You assholes just wiped out
half of Los Angeles.
41
00:04:42,420 --> 00:04:44,120
(POP MUSIC PLAYING)
42
00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:49,450
Hey, come on in.
We're rolling out.
43
00:04:49,490 --> 00:04:51,990
George! George Bunkle.
44
00:04:52,590 --> 00:04:54,020
Where's Philo?
45
00:04:54,060 --> 00:04:55,660
I'm going down
to get him right now.
46
00:04:55,700 --> 00:04:59,970
If you're not back in
five minutes with Philo,
we're leaving.
47
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,600
What? Girls, I'm hurt.
48
00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:04,210
I'm genuinely hurt.
49
00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:06,280
Has George Bunkle
ever lied to you?
50
00:05:07,780 --> 00:05:09,510
BOTH: What about
the Michael Jackson party?
51
00:05:09,540 --> 00:05:13,070
Hey, he was very insulted
that you didn't believe
it was him that night.
52
00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:16,880
BOTH: Five minutes, Bunkle.
53
00:05:23,060 --> 00:05:25,260
Talk about
your boring parties.
54
00:05:25,290 --> 00:05:28,890
What else would you expect
from anyone who lives
in this building?
55
00:05:31,830 --> 00:05:33,890
(FARTING LOUDLY)
56
00:05:34,870 --> 00:05:36,510
(ALL COUGHING)
57
00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:44,840
(COUGHING)
58
00:05:49,980 --> 00:05:53,180
Man, I gotta lay off
that pork fried rice.
59
00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:54,950
(GROANING)
60
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,120
Philo.
61
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:01,190
Philo?
62
00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:04,890
Yo, Philo.
63
00:06:06,370 --> 00:06:07,870
Hello?
64
00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:11,160
Philo?
65
00:06:13,670 --> 00:06:15,140
Philo?
66
00:06:18,450 --> 00:06:19,850
Where the hell are you?
67
00:06:20,710 --> 00:06:22,310
(GASPS)
68
00:06:22,350 --> 00:06:24,920
What are you trying to do,
put me in an early grave?
69
00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:30,160
I'm okay.
70
00:06:32,230 --> 00:06:33,900
(GROWLING)
71
00:06:33,930 --> 00:06:37,170
You idiot!
You've ruined my whole life!
72
00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:40,000
(STRAINING) It's not my fault
you wear glasses.
73
00:06:41,300 --> 00:06:43,130
(PANTS) No.
74
00:06:44,370 --> 00:06:45,970
It's my fault.
75
00:06:50,510 --> 00:06:51,910
(BONES CRACKING)
76
00:06:53,310 --> 00:06:55,880
Come on, Philo,
get a grip on yourself.
77
00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:59,020
Everybody has
their limitations.
Shit, even me.
78
00:07:06,830 --> 00:07:10,230
Let's just calmly
examine the situation.
79
00:07:14,570 --> 00:07:15,710
Now, what have we got?
80
00:07:15,740 --> 00:07:19,080
We got two bright, enterprising
young men like ourselves?
81
00:07:19,110 --> 00:07:21,980
You kidding?
There's a million
things we can do.
82
00:07:22,010 --> 00:07:24,980
Give me a break, George.
It's all over for me.
83
00:07:25,010 --> 00:07:28,840
All right, all right.
I'll admit things may look
a trifle dark right now.
84
00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:30,380
But, so what?
85
00:07:30,420 --> 00:07:34,260
Besides, you know me.
Don't I always
come up with something?
86
00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:41,030
All my life
87
00:07:41,060 --> 00:07:43,190
all I ever wanted
to do was fly.
88
00:07:44,330 --> 00:07:45,990
(SCREAMING)
89
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,090
(PHILO CRASHING)
90
00:07:49,540 --> 00:07:50,670
Philo?
91
00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:06,080
Oh, there you are.
92
00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:07,790
Philo! I've got it.
93
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:10,050
Wait till you hear this idea.
This is it.
94
00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:11,490
What happened here?
95
00:08:11,530 --> 00:08:13,500
If I ever see you again,
George, it's gonna be too soon.
96
00:08:13,530 --> 00:08:16,170
No, no, no,
you're gonna love this.
You ready?
97
00:08:17,060 --> 00:08:18,430
Stewardess school.
98
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:23,060
You're totally
certifiable, George,
99
00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:25,100
and I'm gonna
sign the papers!
100
00:08:25,570 --> 00:08:27,130
What a great idea.
101
00:08:27,170 --> 00:08:28,770
Think of it, Philo.
102
00:08:28,810 --> 00:08:30,750
(EXCLAIMS)
Breakfast in Paris.
103
00:08:30,780 --> 00:08:32,320
Dinner in Rome.
104
00:08:32,350 --> 00:08:36,050
Not to mention
all the incredible women
we're gonna meet.
105
00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:40,290
(LOUD CHEWING)
106
00:08:59,710 --> 00:09:02,050
Mr. Pellino.
Call me Snake.
107
00:09:02,680 --> 00:09:04,280
Mr. Snake.
108
00:09:04,310 --> 00:09:07,370
You seem to have
some influence
over our daughter.
109
00:09:08,680 --> 00:09:10,080
Beer!
110
00:09:11,750 --> 00:09:14,580
I wonder if I could
interest you in
a little proposition.
111
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,670
(BLOWING NOSE LOUDLY)
112
00:09:27,870 --> 00:09:29,370
SNAKE: Big chunks.
113
00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:31,640
Walter.
114
00:09:33,510 --> 00:09:35,050
Jeeves?
115
00:09:35,580 --> 00:09:37,080
Sir.
116
00:09:43,680 --> 00:09:45,380
Holy shit!
117
00:09:46,090 --> 00:09:47,690
What a bike!
118
00:09:51,730 --> 00:09:53,160
Thank you, sir.
119
00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:03,600
Wow.
120
00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:05,300
What gives?
121
00:10:05,340 --> 00:10:06,810
If you'll excuse us
for a minute, dear?
122
00:10:07,470 --> 00:10:08,670
Why?
123
00:10:08,710 --> 00:10:10,150
Beat it!
124
00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:17,510
So, what's the deal?
125
00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:21,080
Well, I was just wondering
if you might be...
126
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:22,480
(BOTH LAUGHING)
127
00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:24,580
Then I kicked him
right in the face!
128
00:10:27,630 --> 00:10:28,700
What gives?
129
00:10:28,730 --> 00:10:30,970
Oh, Mr. Snake and I decided
130
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:35,210
it would be in
your best interests
if you went back to school.
131
00:10:38,610 --> 00:10:40,680
You're a pisser, Dad.
132
00:10:40,710 --> 00:10:42,350
(BOTH LAUGHING)
133
00:10:45,150 --> 00:10:47,320
(ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING)
134
00:11:30,790 --> 00:11:32,250
Shit.
135
00:11:32,290 --> 00:11:34,220
(PEOPLE MURMURING)
136
00:11:37,260 --> 00:11:38,730
(GASPS) Whoa!
137
00:11:52,180 --> 00:11:53,550
(AUDIENCE GASPS)
138
00:12:02,990 --> 00:12:04,330
Ow.
139
00:12:06,230 --> 00:12:07,530
(BELL DINGING)
140
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:10,660
Now, remember,
if I catch either
one of youse two
141
00:12:10,700 --> 00:12:12,770
biting or scratching,
I'm gonna toss youse out.
142
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:16,210
How would you like me to
pull your little wee wee off?
143
00:12:18,710 --> 00:12:20,240
Wait for the bell.
144
00:12:21,710 --> 00:12:23,880
You're dead meat.
145
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:26,340
MAN: You're a scumbag,
go die!
Get away, wimp!
146
00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:30,740
All right, you,
I want your name!
147
00:12:30,780 --> 00:12:32,450
(PEOPLE SHOUTING)
148
00:12:34,250 --> 00:12:35,920
I'll get you, asshole.
149
00:12:40,860 --> 00:12:42,190
Where is he?
150
00:12:42,230 --> 00:12:44,400
He's kind of puny.
Maybe he couldn't
push the turnstile.
151
00:12:45,170 --> 00:12:46,640
Oh, there he is.
152
00:12:51,740 --> 00:12:55,350
I think he's gonna pop
the big question tonight.
153
00:12:55,380 --> 00:12:57,980
Wanda. Wanda!
154
00:12:58,010 --> 00:12:59,510
When are you gonna learn?
155
00:12:59,550 --> 00:13:02,290
Men don't marry
women wrestlers.
156
00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:03,920
Cuddles is different.
157
00:13:05,020 --> 00:13:06,560
You'll see.
158
00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:08,550
Cuddles.
159
00:13:13,690 --> 00:13:14,920
Cuddles?
160
00:13:15,330 --> 00:13:18,330
(GUFFAWING)
161
00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:26,030
(BELL DINGS)
(CROWD CHEERING)
162
00:13:32,580 --> 00:13:33,750
(YELLS)
163
00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:35,310
(ALL CHEERING)
164
00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:45,700
MAN: Get her, Wanda!
165
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:53,530
Kill! Snap her neck, Wanda!
166
00:14:13,190 --> 00:14:14,960
(SCREAMING)
167
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:22,760
(YELLING)
168
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:26,840
(ALL CHEERING)
169
00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:32,670
(CACKLING HYSTERICALLY)
170
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:40,370
CROWD: Wanda!
Wanda! Wanda! Wanda!
171
00:14:40,410 --> 00:14:43,610
Wanda! Wanda! Wanda! Wanda!
172
00:14:43,650 --> 00:14:46,510
I wonder if they
have communal showers.
173
00:14:46,550 --> 00:14:48,580
I don't know
about this, George.
174
00:14:49,620 --> 00:14:51,480
Philo, I don't believe you.
175
00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:52,990
Since we got thrown
out of flight school
176
00:14:53,030 --> 00:14:56,100
you've flown back and forth
to San Diego 22 times.
177
00:14:56,130 --> 00:14:57,200
So?
178
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,730
You don't know
anybody in San Diego.
179
00:14:58,770 --> 00:14:59,800
I can't help it.
180
00:14:59,830 --> 00:15:02,260
I think better
when I'm flying.
Right.
181
00:15:02,300 --> 00:15:03,930
GEORGE: So we go
to stew school.
182
00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:08,670
We graduat
Then you can flyh
yo little heart out.
183
00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:13,320
Maybe you'll get this obse.
I suppose
you'reight, George.
184
00:15:13,350 --> 00:15:14,880
You know, for a while there
I thought that you
185
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:17,090
just wanted to go
to stew school just so
you could meet women.
186
00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:21,360
Please, give me some credit.
There's a little more to life
than women.
187
00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:31,930
Very little.
188
00:15:34,330 --> 00:15:36,860
(BOTH LAUGHING)
189
00:15:36,900 --> 00:15:39,700
There it is.
That's the Philo
I know and love.
190
00:15:40,070 --> 00:15:41,500
You idiot!
191
00:15:41,540 --> 00:15:43,370
So, what's the verdict?
192
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:46,440
Why don't you
go park this boat
193
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:47,950
and I'll get us
a room with a view.
194
00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:49,510
Now you're talking, dude.
195
00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:51,240
All right.
196
00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:53,550
I'm not a jinx,
I'm not a jinx,
I'm not a jinx.
197
00:15:53,590 --> 00:15:55,390
Yeah, and I'm not in this
for my health, lady.
198
00:15:55,420 --> 00:15:57,550
That's $14.75
with the toll.
199
00:16:05,530 --> 00:16:07,230
Keep the change.
200
00:16:07,270 --> 00:16:08,810
Oh, thanks, sport.
201
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:11,600
I'll get your luggage.
202
00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:19,420
What was that?
203
00:16:20,310 --> 00:16:21,840
I gotta switch
to unleaded.
204
00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:26,410
You were supposed to
get out the other side.
205
00:16:26,450 --> 00:16:29,820
Well, you should have
posted a sign.
206
00:16:29,860 --> 00:16:31,660
It was on the door!
207
00:16:33,730 --> 00:16:35,030
(SCOFFS)
208
00:16:45,070 --> 00:16:47,570
Hi. Can I help you there?
209
00:16:47,610 --> 00:16:49,550
Why, don't you think
I can do it myself?
210
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:51,170
Hey, no problem.
211
00:16:53,710 --> 00:16:55,110
(GRUNTS)
212
00:16:55,150 --> 00:16:56,450
(GRUNTS)
213
00:16:58,250 --> 00:16:59,710
I'm sorry.
214
00:17:00,450 --> 00:17:02,680
(GROANS IN DISCOMFORT)
215
00:17:04,020 --> 00:17:06,190
(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
Good morning.
Morning.
216
00:17:14,670 --> 00:17:16,840
I certainly am glad
your father's not alive
217
00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:18,970
to see what you've
turned his school into.
218
00:17:19,010 --> 00:17:22,150
What I have turned
the old codger's school into
219
00:17:22,180 --> 00:17:23,810
is a profitable institution.
220
00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:26,570
Oh, yes,
by lowering the standards
221
00:17:26,610 --> 00:17:28,640
so that anybody could get in.
222
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:35,660
All right, sugar.
Here we are.
223
00:17:35,690 --> 00:17:39,130
Jesus, Harry,
stewardess school?
224
00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:40,560
Is that the best
you could do for me?
225
00:17:40,590 --> 00:17:43,260
Hey, sugar,
I'm your probation officer,
226
00:17:43,300 --> 00:17:45,200
not employment agent.
227
00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:49,330
Listen, sugar, this is a real
opportunity for you to change
your whole life around.
228
00:17:49,370 --> 00:17:51,310
Yeah, yeah, sure, Harry.
229
00:17:51,340 --> 00:17:54,010
I'm agog with anticipation.
230
00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:57,140
(SIGHS) So how long
am I in for anyway?
231
00:17:57,180 --> 00:17:59,520
You are enrolled
for four weeks.
232
00:17:59,550 --> 00:18:01,620
Then you can get a job
on an airline.
233
00:18:01,650 --> 00:18:02,720
Gee.
234
00:18:02,750 --> 00:18:05,390
I've never done it
on an airplane before.
235
00:18:05,420 --> 00:18:07,420
Now, look, I'm warning you,
236
00:18:07,450 --> 00:18:08,820
if they catch you
turning one more trick,
237
00:18:08,860 --> 00:18:11,390
they gonna put
your behind away
for a long, long time.
238
00:18:11,420 --> 00:18:12,720
Yeah, yeah.
239
00:18:20,230 --> 00:18:22,730
Well, so long, Harry.
240
00:18:22,770 --> 00:18:24,510
Don't take any wooden pickles.
241
00:18:24,540 --> 00:18:26,010
(CHUCKLING)
242
00:18:28,540 --> 00:18:31,270
Hi. Am I the only boy?
243
00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:33,850
Let's see.
244
00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:36,920
(CHECK IN LADY SCREAMING)
245
00:18:38,950 --> 00:18:40,210
Cindy Adams.
246
00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:45,590
Room 12, second floor.
247
00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:52,230
(WOMAN SCREAMING)
248
00:19:03,410 --> 00:19:04,810
I'm gonna miss you.
249
00:19:05,380 --> 00:19:06,750
(BURPS LOUDLY)
250
00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:19,220
(SCREAMING)
251
00:19:29,300 --> 00:19:31,600
Hi, I'm Pimmie Polk.
252
00:19:32,340 --> 00:19:35,810
Hi. Jolean Winters.
253
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:39,170
And this is my mother,
and my grandmother.
254
00:19:39,210 --> 00:19:40,710
Hello!
Hello!
255
00:19:41,410 --> 00:19:44,580
Hello. It's nice to meet you.
256
00:19:44,620 --> 00:19:47,220
This is a big day
for the Polk family.
257
00:19:48,660 --> 00:19:50,190
Oh, really?
258
00:19:50,220 --> 00:19:52,590
Three generations of stews.
259
00:19:52,630 --> 00:19:54,800
(LAUGHS UNCOMFORTABLY)
No kidding.
260
00:19:57,100 --> 00:19:59,970
¶ We'll wine you We'll dine you
261
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:05,010
¶ We'll fly you to the skies ¶
262
00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:08,970
(GIGGLES)
263
00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:14,550
Well, good afternoon.
264
00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:17,740
My name is Ms. Grummet,
265
00:20:17,780 --> 00:20:20,980
and I will be supervising
all of your activities
266
00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:22,820
while you are here with us.
267
00:20:24,620 --> 00:20:29,820
I expect strict
compliance with the rules.
268
00:20:29,860 --> 00:20:32,830
But before I get into
those rules and lists,
269
00:20:32,870 --> 00:20:35,000
I would like to
take this opportunity
270
00:20:35,030 --> 00:20:38,300
to introduce our chancellor,
Mr. Weidermeyer.
271
00:20:38,340 --> 00:20:42,280
He will giving a brief,
ten minute welcoming address.
272
00:20:42,310 --> 00:20:43,950
Mr. Weidermeyer?
273
00:20:43,980 --> 00:20:45,680
(APPLAUSE)
274
00:20:49,650 --> 00:20:51,220
Good afternoon.
275
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:55,010
You certainly are
a fine looking group.
276
00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:59,460
Welcome to
the Weidermeyer Academy.
277
00:20:59,490 --> 00:21:01,920
This academy was sired by...
278
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:06,160
Founded by my father
in 1949
279
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:10,440
and we have a long
and impressive
280
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:14,180
list of graduates.
281
00:21:14,210 --> 00:21:17,850
As you can see from
the people seated behind me,
282
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:23,050
we offer the finest
in flight instruction training.
283
00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:25,380
And you can be assured...
284
00:21:27,350 --> 00:21:28,780
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
285
00:21:28,820 --> 00:21:31,020
We will never
nipple and dime...
286
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:34,360
(ALL CHUCKLING)
287
00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:38,430
Nickle and dime you
on your education.
288
00:21:40,130 --> 00:21:44,930
Your instructors
are firm but fair.
289
00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:48,370
If you get a little
behind in your work,
290
00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:52,180
they won't be hard on you.
291
00:21:53,910 --> 00:21:55,240
(WEIDERMEYER CLEARS THROAT)
292
00:21:56,550 --> 00:21:58,420
(SPEAKS GIBBERISH)
293
00:22:01,650 --> 00:22:06,250
Well, I guess that's about it
from old Roger Weidermeyer.
294
00:22:07,430 --> 00:22:09,430
So, once again,
295
00:22:11,700 --> 00:22:13,200
welcome.
296
00:22:15,170 --> 00:22:16,910
Ms. Grummet.
297
00:22:19,340 --> 00:22:21,280
(APPLAUSE)
298
00:22:22,940 --> 00:22:25,400
I'll just stand here
till you're finished.
299
00:22:28,580 --> 00:22:30,180
That's disgusting.
300
00:22:34,050 --> 00:22:38,850
Now, if you'll all
pay attention to
the following rules,
301
00:22:38,890 --> 00:22:42,920
I'm sure we'll all
get along just fine.
302
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:01,120
Mmm. Just like Mom never made.
303
00:23:06,050 --> 00:23:07,350
$3.50.
304
00:23:07,390 --> 00:23:10,130
That's very reasonable
considering your
gourmet selection.
305
00:23:16,430 --> 00:23:17,870
Thank you.
306
00:23:24,570 --> 00:23:26,600
Roommate, shall we?
Yes.
307
00:23:40,690 --> 00:23:43,260
Whoa. Hi.
308
00:23:44,690 --> 00:23:46,420
Oh!
309
00:23:46,460 --> 00:23:48,360
Oh, God.
Ow!
310
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:49,960
Oh, God.
311
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:51,930
Please. Please sit.
312
00:23:52,930 --> 00:23:54,490
Are you sure?
313
00:23:54,530 --> 00:23:56,060
I live for danger.
314
00:23:57,240 --> 00:23:58,410
Okay.
315
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:05,170
Uh, Kelly Johnson,
resident klutz.
316
00:24:05,210 --> 00:24:07,370
Philo Henderson,
unfulfilled dreamer.
317
00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:11,520
Ugh.
318
00:24:17,790 --> 00:24:19,590
So, what was
the final headcount?
319
00:24:19,630 --> 00:24:21,200
Forty six.
Excellent.
320
00:24:21,230 --> 00:24:23,370
That makes nine more
students than last time.
321
00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:27,870
Yes, and I can tell you
just which nine they are.
322
00:24:27,900 --> 00:24:29,660
Relax, Ms. Grummet.
323
00:24:29,700 --> 00:24:32,430
You will be able
to start weeding them
out soon enough.
324
00:24:37,710 --> 00:24:39,210
(CHUCKLES)
325
00:24:42,620 --> 00:24:44,350
(ALARM RINGING)
326
00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:48,420
Oh!
327
00:24:48,450 --> 00:24:51,920
George!
George, wake up!
There's a fire.
328
00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:55,400
George!
329
00:24:55,430 --> 00:24:56,530
(SNORING)
330
00:25:03,270 --> 00:25:05,410
Philo, you gotta do something
about that alarm clock.
331
00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:07,380
Get up, George.
There's a fire.
What?
332
00:25:08,610 --> 00:25:10,080
Fire!
333
00:25:14,910 --> 00:25:17,710
Fire! Fire!
(ALARM RINGING LOUDLY)
334
00:25:17,750 --> 00:25:19,410
(GIRLS CLAMORING)
335
00:25:22,420 --> 00:25:23,650
(ALARM STOPS)
336
00:25:31,930 --> 00:25:34,690
Good morning,
my little chickens.
337
00:25:34,730 --> 00:25:37,130
Welcome to stewardess school.
338
00:25:37,740 --> 00:25:39,540
Now, to begin with,
339
00:25:39,570 --> 00:25:44,170
I would like to make
one thing perfectly clear.
340
00:25:44,210 --> 00:25:49,580
To be a stewardess
means to be on call
24 hours a day.
341
00:25:49,620 --> 00:25:55,790
That means you must be
in top physical condition
at all times,
342
00:25:55,820 --> 00:25:59,220
and bright and alert.
343
00:25:59,260 --> 00:26:04,570
Because if you miss
one call to duty,
344
00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:06,240
you will be...
345
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:09,960
Dismissed!
346
00:26:10,870 --> 00:26:12,970
Now, grab your sweats
347
00:26:13,010 --> 00:26:15,410
and report to the compound
in five minutes.
348
00:26:16,540 --> 00:26:18,000
Five minutes!
349
00:26:20,210 --> 00:26:23,310
Let's move it,
move it, move it!
350
00:26:27,150 --> 00:26:28,650
Move it, Bunkle.
351
00:26:33,930 --> 00:26:35,300
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
352
00:26:39,770 --> 00:26:43,010
All right. We'll start
this morning and every morning
353
00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:47,540
with a little five mile
up Fort Valley Hill.
354
00:26:47,570 --> 00:26:51,770
Dubois, Winters report
to the doctor's office
for physical.
355
00:26:51,810 --> 00:26:53,970
The rest of you move out.
356
00:26:54,010 --> 00:26:55,470
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
357
00:26:57,750 --> 00:26:59,310
Good luck, chubby.
358
00:26:59,350 --> 00:27:00,480
Thanks.
359
00:27:03,890 --> 00:27:06,200
Move it, move it, move it!
360
00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:20,180
(CLEARS THROAT) Hi.
We're here for our physicals.
361
00:27:22,710 --> 00:27:23,880
Names?
362
00:27:23,910 --> 00:27:26,380
Sugar Dubois
and Jolean Winters.
363
00:27:32,450 --> 00:27:33,610
Have a seat.
364
00:27:38,490 --> 00:27:41,120
I'm on a diet,
I've lost eight pounds.
365
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:44,220
I'm sure the doctor will
take that into consideration.
366
00:27:45,300 --> 00:27:47,200
I think you look terrific.
367
00:27:47,230 --> 00:27:49,460
You do?
Yeah, sure.
368
00:27:51,070 --> 00:27:52,260
(PHONE BUZZES)
369
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:57,280
Who am I kidding?
He's gonna flunk me.
370
00:27:57,310 --> 00:28:01,050
You mean if you don't
pass this physical they
could kick you out of here?
371
00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:04,240
That's right.
I'll be history.
372
00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:07,710
Yeah. You can
go in now, Ms. Dubois.
373
00:28:09,020 --> 00:28:10,580
Good luck.
Thanks.
374
00:28:27,340 --> 00:28:29,040
With you in a moment.
375
00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:31,380
Do you want me
to take my clothes off?
376
00:28:33,010 --> 00:28:34,440
Well, I don't think that
377
00:28:35,750 --> 00:28:37,390
would be a bad idea.
378
00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:42,830
Gosh, hope you don't
have cold hands.
379
00:28:52,470 --> 00:28:54,340
Come on, let's move it,
move it, move it!
380
00:28:54,370 --> 00:28:56,440
Only two more miles
to the top!
381
00:28:56,470 --> 00:28:58,570
That is not a pleasant woman.
382
00:29:01,870 --> 00:29:02,940
(DOOR OPENS)
383
00:29:15,050 --> 00:29:17,280
You can go in now, Winters.
384
00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:45,440
Doctor?
385
00:29:46,190 --> 00:29:47,490
(MUMBLES) Sit.
386
00:29:53,790 --> 00:29:54,820
(SIGHS)
387
00:29:55,590 --> 00:29:56,820
(EXHALES)
388
00:29:56,860 --> 00:29:58,390
(PUMPING SOUND)
389
00:30:01,870 --> 00:30:03,610
Holy shit!
390
00:30:06,370 --> 00:30:07,870
Doctor Mackie?
391
00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:11,080
What aut me?
392
00:30:11,110 --> 00:30:12,470
Yo
393
00:30:13,750 --> 00:30:14,980
My physical?
394
00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:19,450
You passed!
I passed?
395
00:30:20,490 --> 00:30:21,620
Go.
396
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:24,880
I passed!
397
00:30:25,620 --> 00:30:26,820
Bitch.
398
00:30:52,380 --> 00:30:54,580
Those are, uh,
really thick glasses.
399
00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:57,980
On a clear day
I can see Moscow.
400
00:31:01,730 --> 00:31:04,930
Oh, God,
it must be tough to get
around without these things.
401
00:31:05,900 --> 00:31:10,070
Well, I've developed
an acute sense of touch.
402
00:31:12,870 --> 00:31:14,570
(KNOCKING)
403
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:18,710
Philo! Wait.
404
00:31:19,450 --> 00:31:20,980
(ALL YELLING)
405
00:31:22,950 --> 00:31:24,190
It's okay, it's okay.
406
00:31:24,220 --> 00:31:27,190
He's totally blind
without his glasses.
It's Kelly.
407
00:31:27,220 --> 00:31:28,890
Hi.
Hi, come on.
408
00:31:33,130 --> 00:31:35,000
Right this way.
Here you go.
409
00:31:35,030 --> 00:31:36,830
You okay?
Great. Thanks.
410
00:31:56,250 --> 00:31:57,550
(GASPS)
411
00:32:00,990 --> 00:32:03,730
(SCATTING)
412
00:32:11,130 --> 00:32:13,330
Communal showers.
413
00:32:13,370 --> 00:32:15,600
That's amazing.
How would I know that?
414
00:32:22,370 --> 00:32:24,140
Hey, girls,
what's shaking?
415
00:32:24,180 --> 00:32:25,950
(ALL SCREAMING)
416
00:32:26,350 --> 00:32:27,720
What?
417
00:32:30,380 --> 00:32:31,740
What?
418
00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:36,110
What?
419
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:42,390
(EXCLAIMS)
420
00:32:43,300 --> 00:32:45,600
And stay out!
421
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:51,370
To fly,
422
00:32:52,540 --> 00:32:55,710
to soar with the eagles.
423
00:32:57,310 --> 00:32:58,880
To pilot
424
00:33:00,210 --> 00:33:02,810
this magnificent machine
425
00:33:03,950 --> 00:33:05,490
high above the earth.
426
00:33:06,050 --> 00:33:07,610
To be
427
00:33:08,250 --> 00:33:10,950
in total control
428
00:33:10,990 --> 00:33:13,420
of the lives and destinies
429
00:33:14,090 --> 00:33:16,020
of hundreds of people.
430
00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:22,900
God forgive me,
I do love it so.
431
00:33:24,970 --> 00:33:27,630
Now, where was I?
432
00:33:27,670 --> 00:33:31,900
ALL: To fly,
to soar with the eagles.
433
00:33:34,050 --> 00:33:35,550
To fly...
434
00:34:17,890 --> 00:34:22,220
Whoever wants pizza
comes to Larry's room.
435
00:34:23,100 --> 00:34:24,270
Want some?
436
00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:28,590
No thanks, I'm on a diet.
I just came to sniff.
437
00:34:28,630 --> 00:34:32,130
Oh, George can always
tell a good wine by the
twist of a cap, I swear to God.
438
00:34:33,770 --> 00:34:34,670
Pepperoni.
439
00:34:34,710 --> 00:34:37,810
Okay. Okay, everybody,
a toast.
440
00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:41,510
To a bright new future
in the airline industry!
441
00:34:43,980 --> 00:34:45,540
What's the matter?
442
00:34:45,580 --> 00:34:49,750
Everybody's future doesn't
look as bright as yours.
You're not a klutz.
443
00:34:49,790 --> 00:34:52,090
Yeah, and you're slim
and attractive.
444
00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:54,520
And you always seem
to know what to do.
445
00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:58,190
You actually seem
to like this bullshit.
446
00:34:58,230 --> 00:35:02,660
I know you all think
that I'm pretty and pert,
447
00:35:02,700 --> 00:35:04,660
and kind of terrific.
448
00:35:04,700 --> 00:35:08,730
But you know,
sometimes when people
are getting to know me,
449
00:35:08,770 --> 00:35:12,270
for some strange reason
they wanna choke me.
450
00:35:12,310 --> 00:35:14,040
(GIGGLING)
451
00:35:16,120 --> 00:35:17,920
Come on, it's not
as bad as all that.
452
00:35:17,950 --> 00:35:20,010
It's always darkest
before the dawn.
453
00:35:20,050 --> 00:35:21,880
When the going gets tough
the tough get going.
454
00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:23,480
Yeah, when in doubt
whip it out.
455
00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:25,550
PHILO: George.
Figure of speech.
456
00:35:47,050 --> 00:35:48,120
(SNORTING)
457
00:35:50,050 --> 00:35:51,820
Now, behind this curtain
458
00:35:51,850 --> 00:35:55,050
we have assembled a group
of professional passengers.
459
00:35:55,090 --> 00:35:59,530
That is passengers
who will test your skill
at dealing with
460
00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:02,760
common but difficult
situations.
461
00:36:03,460 --> 00:36:05,160
Oh, yes, uh,
462
00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:09,870
I will be observing
and grading your
conduct accordingly.
463
00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:20,650
No, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
464
00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:22,150
The whiskey goes
next to the vodka.
465
00:36:22,180 --> 00:36:24,610
I am so nervous.
I just know
I'm gonna screw up.
466
00:36:24,650 --> 00:36:25,940
Hey, relax.
467
00:36:25,980 --> 00:36:28,750
After all,
what are they gonna do,
bite us?
468
00:36:29,420 --> 00:36:30,550
Hot towel, madam?
469
00:36:30,590 --> 00:36:31,860
(GROWLING)
470
00:36:34,530 --> 00:36:37,330
Now, Poofy, don't you
be a naughty girl.
471
00:36:37,360 --> 00:36:40,260
I'm sorry, madam,
but you'll have to put
your Poofy in the box.
472
00:36:40,770 --> 00:36:41,970
Aw.
473
00:36:43,340 --> 00:36:45,470
Perhaps you'd do it for me.
474
00:36:45,500 --> 00:36:46,970
(SNARLING)
475
00:36:51,810 --> 00:36:53,510
What are you, high, lady?
476
00:36:53,550 --> 00:36:54,980
Please?
477
00:36:59,420 --> 00:37:01,190
(BARKING)
478
00:37:01,220 --> 00:37:03,720
Perhaps later,
after she's had her nap.
479
00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:07,000
Pillow, Poofy?
480
00:37:07,030 --> 00:37:08,430
(SNARLING)
481
00:37:08,460 --> 00:37:10,190
Maybe not. Later.
482
00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:12,320
(BARKING)
483
00:37:16,170 --> 00:37:19,170
And what can I get
our little man for dessert?
484
00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:20,700
A hot fudge sundae.
485
00:37:20,740 --> 00:37:24,180
Ooh. That sounds delish.
486
00:37:31,020 --> 00:37:33,020
Would you like
whipped cream on top?
487
00:37:33,050 --> 00:37:34,080
Yup.
488
00:37:39,190 --> 00:37:41,190
And sprinkles?
Yup.
489
00:37:42,590 --> 00:37:44,160
And a cherry on top?
490
00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:46,690
Yup.
491
00:37:49,130 --> 00:37:51,300
And how would you
like your nuts crushed?
492
00:37:52,170 --> 00:37:54,670
How would you like
your tits shot off?
493
00:37:54,710 --> 00:37:56,950
Uh... (EXCLAIMS)
494
00:37:58,610 --> 00:38:00,110
Something to drink?
495
00:38:00,510 --> 00:38:01,740
I know you.
496
00:38:01,780 --> 00:38:03,910
You're Bubba Brock,
fullback for the Broncos.
497
00:38:05,050 --> 00:38:06,280
I got cut.
498
00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:08,920
Oh, I'm sorry. Injury?
499
00:38:08,950 --> 00:38:12,750
No. Bad attitude, ass breath.
500
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:25,130
Excuse me, young man.
501
00:38:25,170 --> 00:38:26,330
I need your help.
502
00:38:26,810 --> 00:38:28,240
Yes, madam.
503
00:38:28,270 --> 00:38:29,870
My seatbelt is stuck.
504
00:38:30,580 --> 00:38:32,010
Oh.
505
00:38:37,020 --> 00:38:39,590
Oh, yes, I think
I see the problem.
506
00:38:39,620 --> 00:38:40,760
If you'd care to
stand up a minute.
507
00:38:40,790 --> 00:38:42,690
I didn't pay
to stand in the aisle.
508
00:38:42,720 --> 00:38:44,320
I paid to sit down.
509
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:45,960
Okay.
510
00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:54,470
(GROANS)
511
00:38:57,700 --> 00:38:58,960
Oh.
512
00:39:00,710 --> 00:39:02,010
Oh, Miss.
Yes, sir?
513
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:03,940
I'd like a scotch
and water, please.
514
00:39:03,980 --> 00:39:06,010
I have to begin in
the rear of the aircraft
515
00:39:06,040 --> 00:39:07,970
but I'll be right back
to serve your drink.
516
00:39:08,750 --> 00:39:10,050
(GASPS)
517
00:39:10,950 --> 00:39:12,950
I think I got it.
518
00:39:15,720 --> 00:39:17,280
(GASPS)
519
00:39:42,510 --> 00:39:44,140
Excuse me, sir.
520
00:39:44,180 --> 00:39:46,880
The captain does have
the no smoking light on.
521
00:39:58,700 --> 00:40:02,200
Well, I'll just run back
and turn that little light off.
522
00:40:05,070 --> 00:40:06,900
Ladies and gentlemen,
523
00:40:06,940 --> 00:40:09,940
the captain has informed me
that we're ready to land.
524
00:40:09,980 --> 00:40:12,350
Please put your trays up,
525
00:40:12,380 --> 00:40:16,050
and your seats in
the upright position.
Thank you.
526
00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:18,610
And I hope you've
all been well serviced.
527
00:40:21,190 --> 00:40:23,860
Hey, you!
Tray up, seat back,
528
00:40:23,890 --> 00:40:26,590
and loose that cigarette.
529
00:40:26,630 --> 00:40:28,200
Yes, ma'am.
Miss...
530
00:40:28,230 --> 00:40:29,860
Polanski.
Polanski, yes.
531
00:40:29,900 --> 00:40:33,230
Hi. I think your delivery
needs a little work.
532
00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:36,810
Try not to be so firm.
533
00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:39,340
With the passengers,
not so direct.
534
00:40:40,670 --> 00:40:43,640
Not so firm
and not so direct.
535
00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:45,050
Right.
536
00:40:59,290 --> 00:41:03,150
Yoo-hoo.
Wake up, wake up.
537
00:41:18,910 --> 00:41:20,270
(GASPS)
538
00:41:21,510 --> 00:41:23,070
(GROANING)
539
00:41:26,620 --> 00:41:27,960
Much better.
540
00:41:27,990 --> 00:41:29,620
(ROCK 'N' ROLL MUSIC PLAYING)
541
00:41:46,970 --> 00:41:48,400
George.
What?
542
00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:50,100
Do me a favor.
543
00:41:50,140 --> 00:41:52,100
Sleep on
the fire escape tonight.
544
00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:55,220
It's the old
multiple cologne trick.
545
00:41:55,250 --> 00:41:56,680
Keeps 'em off their guard.
546
00:42:03,620 --> 00:42:06,550
He's kinda cute.
I think he's gonna
ask me out.
547
00:42:09,390 --> 00:42:11,090
Hi.
548
00:42:11,130 --> 00:42:13,070
You wanna play
hide the salami?
549
00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:16,330
Gross.
550
00:42:17,570 --> 00:42:19,540
I guess a blow job's
out of the question.
551
00:42:21,240 --> 00:42:23,440
WANDA: What do we do now?
552
00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:26,280
I know.
How about a game of trivia?
553
00:42:26,310 --> 00:42:28,610
I hate trivia.
Get out of here. Me, too.
554
00:42:28,650 --> 00:42:30,080
What's the problem?
555
00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:31,890
Well, there's a party
we all wanna go to
556
00:42:31,920 --> 00:42:34,660
but we've got
no way to get there.
557
00:42:34,690 --> 00:42:35,960
How bad do you wanna go?
558
00:42:35,990 --> 00:42:37,660
On a scale of one to ten?
559
00:42:39,060 --> 00:42:40,460
Pretty bad.
560
00:42:41,030 --> 00:42:42,500
(SCREAMING)
561
00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:56,380
Yahoo!
562
00:42:57,610 --> 00:42:59,550
(ALL WHOOPING)
563
00:43:05,320 --> 00:43:07,190
Oh, look who's here.
564
00:43:08,650 --> 00:43:11,380
Yes, yes. Kent Arnold.
565
00:43:11,420 --> 00:43:15,550
I'd like you to meet
my fiance, Alison Hanover.
566
00:43:15,590 --> 00:43:17,920
The Hanovers of Greenwich.
How do you do?
567
00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:20,830
South Port.
Top draw, DF.
568
00:43:20,870 --> 00:43:22,370
Much. (CHUCKLES)
569
00:43:23,200 --> 00:43:24,830
(MOTORCYCLES REVVING)
570
00:43:24,870 --> 00:43:27,740
What in blazes
is going on here?
571
00:43:27,770 --> 00:43:29,570
Kent, check that, will you?
572
00:43:34,750 --> 00:43:36,320
Pimmie?
573
00:43:36,350 --> 00:43:37,690
Kent.
574
00:43:37,720 --> 00:43:39,390
Let me introduce everybody.
575
00:43:39,420 --> 00:43:43,590
This is Jolean,
Wanda, Cindy,
576
00:43:43,620 --> 00:43:46,150
and these are our
chaperones for the evening.
577
00:43:46,190 --> 00:43:49,520
Snake, Scuzzball,
River Rat, and Bones.
578
00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:52,120
Pimmie, I'm sorry,
but they can't come in.
579
00:44:03,780 --> 00:44:05,450
Cindy?
580
00:44:05,480 --> 00:44:07,050
Cindy Adams?
581
00:44:07,080 --> 00:44:08,550
Hello, Kent.
582
00:44:13,990 --> 00:44:15,320
Breath mint?
583
00:44:16,420 --> 00:44:17,680
Quaalude.
584
00:44:22,030 --> 00:44:23,560
You got a Twisted Sister?
585
00:44:23,600 --> 00:44:26,300
No, but my cousin
Lonaur is a little strange.
586
00:44:26,330 --> 00:44:28,360
(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
587
00:44:32,100 --> 00:44:33,600
(MUSIC STOPS)
588
00:44:37,780 --> 00:44:39,710
(POP MUSIC PLAYING)
589
00:44:45,980 --> 00:44:47,550
All right!
590
00:44:47,590 --> 00:44:51,690
Kent, what is the meaning
of that neanderthal invasion?
591
00:44:51,720 --> 00:44:55,520
It's Cindy Adams.
Her father is chairman of
the board of the stock exchange.
592
00:44:56,700 --> 00:44:58,200
Mmm.
593
00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:03,140
Excuse me, muffin,
I'll be right back.
594
00:45:04,770 --> 00:45:06,340
Miss Adams.
595
00:45:06,370 --> 00:45:08,230
I'm Dudl Farnsworth.
596
00:45:09,010 --> 00:45:11,310
Buzzff, needle dick.
597
00:45:14,680 --> 00:45:15,880
Oh, muffin.
598
00:45:24,020 --> 00:45:25,280
All right.
599
00:45:31,030 --> 00:45:32,670
What is this shit?
600
00:45:32,700 --> 00:45:33,970
Fruit punch.
601
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:35,640
Tastes like panther piss.
602
00:45:47,580 --> 00:45:48,820
All right.
603
00:45:48,850 --> 00:45:50,520
Everybody drink up.
604
00:45:54,250 --> 00:45:57,550
I said drink party!
605
00:45:57,590 --> 00:45:59,330
(ALL SCREAMING)
606
00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:38,670
How did you find this place?
607
00:46:38,700 --> 00:46:41,600
Oh, one of the local
kids told me about it.
608
00:46:42,830 --> 00:46:44,560
It's spectacular.
609
00:46:45,440 --> 00:46:46,670
Look.
610
00:46:59,150 --> 00:47:03,610
It's been a long time
since I kissed a boy in
the front seat of a car.
611
00:47:03,660 --> 00:47:05,960
It's been a long time
since I kissed a boy, period.
612
00:47:06,620 --> 00:47:08,950
I think it's my sworn duty
613
00:47:10,560 --> 00:47:11,920
to make up
614
00:47:13,060 --> 00:47:16,760
for all those lost kisses.
615
00:47:24,680 --> 00:47:25,980
Oh, Philo.
616
00:47:33,380 --> 00:47:36,710
No, no, no, no.
The hook's in front.
617
00:47:37,890 --> 00:47:39,360
(KELLY MOANING)
618
00:47:39,690 --> 00:47:41,350
Oh, Philo.
619
00:47:43,060 --> 00:47:45,960
Sorry about that.
It's hormonal.
620
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:47,640
I guess it's in my jeans.
621
00:47:47,670 --> 00:47:49,270
I'll say it is.
622
00:47:51,240 --> 00:47:53,410
(LOUD MUSIC PLAYING)
623
00:48:19,030 --> 00:48:21,030
Wanna dance, mama?
624
00:48:22,700 --> 00:48:25,060
Fine. This ought
to be interesting.
625
00:48:59,540 --> 00:49:01,710
Would anyone care
for a cheese snack?
626
00:49:05,740 --> 00:49:07,170
You're real good, baby.
627
00:49:07,210 --> 00:49:08,510
I know.
628
00:49:11,420 --> 00:49:14,790
Oh, that's some set
of muffins, eh, Snake?
629
00:49:17,320 --> 00:49:18,780
(GROWLING)
630
00:49:23,960 --> 00:49:25,160
Beer!
631
00:49:37,810 --> 00:49:39,850
(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)
(MUFFLED GROANING)
632
00:49:59,200 --> 00:50:00,230
What?
633
00:50:00,260 --> 00:50:01,690
Uh, nothing.
634
00:50:15,580 --> 00:50:20,850
Now tomorrow,
we'll be dealing with
volume two in my trilogy,
635
00:50:20,890 --> 00:50:26,930
101 More Ways to Make
Your Passengers Feel
Really, Really Safe.
636
00:50:28,060 --> 00:50:32,070
After all, don't you feel
better when you feel safe?
637
00:50:32,100 --> 00:50:33,470
I know I do.
638
00:50:33,500 --> 00:50:35,170
(CHUCKLES)
639
00:50:36,130 --> 00:50:38,630
Class!
640
00:50:38,670 --> 00:50:41,710
This morning I'm going
to give you a little lesson
641
00:50:41,740 --> 00:50:45,050
on how to deal
with terrorists.
642
00:50:45,080 --> 00:50:46,980
Of course,
643
00:50:47,010 --> 00:50:49,640
one of the main weapons
644
00:50:49,680 --> 00:50:54,650
in dealing with these
swarthy types
645
00:50:55,220 --> 00:50:57,020
is surprise!
646
00:50:57,060 --> 00:50:58,630
(SCREAMING)
647
00:51:00,120 --> 00:51:01,850
(GROANING)
648
00:51:02,530 --> 00:51:04,430
I took a course.
649
00:51:04,460 --> 00:51:06,560
What you're about
to go through
650
00:51:06,600 --> 00:51:08,770
is a simulated ditch drill.
651
00:51:11,040 --> 00:51:14,380
You will be given
exactly three minutes
652
00:51:14,410 --> 00:51:16,810
to get the passengers
off the plane,
653
00:51:16,840 --> 00:51:20,640
down the chute
and into the life raft
to safety.
654
00:51:25,350 --> 00:51:26,990
Wake up, Harpo.
655
00:51:27,890 --> 00:51:30,290
Time is of the essence here.
656
00:51:30,320 --> 00:51:34,350
If you don't have those
people off this plane
in exactly three minutes,
657
00:51:34,390 --> 00:51:37,890
well, you've all
flunked the exercise.
658
00:51:43,870 --> 00:51:45,610
PIMMIE: Ladies and gentlemen,
659
00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:49,410
please prepare to exit the rear of the plane as quickly as possible.
660
00:51:49,440 --> 00:51:52,400
Our flight attendants will assist you in any way you need.
661
00:51:52,440 --> 00:51:55,710
(ALL CLAMORING)
Just move to the back of
the plane quietly. Thank you.
662
00:52:03,920 --> 00:52:05,080
Keep it going.
663
00:52:05,390 --> 00:52:06,730
Come on.
664
00:52:07,590 --> 00:52:09,320
(WHOOPING)
665
00:52:10,460 --> 00:52:11,990
(BOTH LAUGHING)
666
00:52:12,860 --> 00:52:14,130
Bye.
667
00:52:16,070 --> 00:52:19,010
Please, we'll have to
exit immediately.
668
00:52:19,040 --> 00:52:20,170
This is an emergency.
669
00:52:20,200 --> 00:52:22,700
Darling, we did not pay
for first class tickets
670
00:52:22,740 --> 00:52:25,770
to slide down
a moldy chute into a raft.
671
00:52:25,810 --> 00:52:29,610
I can't go
without my rubber ducky.
672
00:52:29,650 --> 00:52:31,390
(ALL LAUGHING)
673
00:52:32,550 --> 00:52:34,180
Follow me!
674
00:52:35,290 --> 00:52:37,590
Row! Row!
675
00:52:37,620 --> 00:52:39,750
I love this.
Lot of good stuff.
676
00:52:39,790 --> 00:52:40,920
Row!
677
00:52:46,230 --> 00:52:47,390
(PASSENGERS LAUGHING)
678
00:52:47,430 --> 00:52:48,590
Ninety seconds left.
679
00:52:48,630 --> 00:52:49,930
But, they won't budge.
680
00:52:51,270 --> 00:52:53,440
You're not going to make it.
681
00:52:53,470 --> 00:52:55,530
What's the problem?
682
00:52:55,570 --> 00:52:57,940
Beat me, whip me,
make me write bad checks,
683
00:52:57,980 --> 00:52:59,710
but please join us
for a glass of bubbly.
684
00:52:59,740 --> 00:53:01,840
(ALL LAUGHING)
685
00:53:01,880 --> 00:53:03,350
Go on,
I'll take care of this.
686
00:53:03,380 --> 00:53:05,910
Okay,
I'm gonna check the galley,
I'll be right behind you.
687
00:53:05,950 --> 00:53:07,080
Check.
688
00:53:14,490 --> 00:53:15,920
(SCREAMS)
689
00:53:16,360 --> 00:53:17,760
(SCREAMS)
690
00:53:18,430 --> 00:53:19,830
(SCREAMS)
691
00:53:21,100 --> 00:53:22,270
(SCREAMS)
692
00:53:25,670 --> 00:53:27,530
(ALL CHEERING)
693
00:53:27,570 --> 00:53:29,100
PHILO: We did it!
694
00:53:29,140 --> 00:53:30,470
(ALL CHEERING)
695
00:53:30,510 --> 00:53:32,610
Wait a minute.
Where's Jolean?
696
00:53:32,640 --> 00:53:34,310
ALL: Jolean?
697
00:53:34,350 --> 00:53:36,220
Geronimo!
698
00:54:03,070 --> 00:54:06,140
This is a very healthy
kill list, even for you.
699
00:54:07,580 --> 00:54:11,220
Well, if there's nothing else
I'd like to get on with it.
700
00:54:11,250 --> 00:54:12,820
(PHONE BUZZING)
701
00:54:12,850 --> 00:54:14,410
Yes.
SECRETARY: Sir.
702
00:54:14,450 --> 00:54:16,250
Mr. Stromboli would like to know if you'd be much longer.
703
00:54:16,290 --> 00:54:17,930
He has a plane to catch.
704
00:54:17,960 --> 00:54:20,060
Ask Mr. Stromboli
to come in, please.
705
00:54:25,660 --> 00:54:27,690
Roger, how are you?
706
00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:31,900
Last time I saw you
why, you were this high.
707
00:54:32,340 --> 00:54:33,570
I've grown.
708
00:54:33,600 --> 00:54:36,100
Won't you sit down?
Thank you very much.
709
00:54:37,710 --> 00:54:40,150
Well, what can I do for you?
710
00:54:40,180 --> 00:54:43,220
The thing is that now
I have this government
inspection coming around
711
00:54:43,250 --> 00:54:47,020
and if I don't get
high grades in all areas
of passenger service
712
00:54:47,050 --> 00:54:49,350
they're gonna pull the rug
from under me, Roger.
713
00:54:49,920 --> 00:54:51,850
I'll be out of business.
714
00:54:51,890 --> 00:54:54,600
Do I take it that
you would like me
to provide you
715
00:54:54,630 --> 00:54:58,130
with a top flight crew
from our graduating class?
716
00:54:58,160 --> 00:55:00,560
Exactly, Roger. Yes!
717
00:55:00,600 --> 00:55:02,000
If I can pass the inspection,
718
00:55:02,030 --> 00:55:04,500
then I can add another flight
at the end of the year,
719
00:55:04,540 --> 00:55:07,510
and this way I can
give the competition
a run for their money.
720
00:55:07,540 --> 00:55:09,980
Shall we say
500 bucks a head?
721
00:55:10,010 --> 00:55:12,750
500? That's blackmail!
722
00:55:15,310 --> 00:55:17,810
It was nice
seeing you again, Carl.
723
00:55:17,850 --> 00:55:19,920
Now, if you'll excuse me
I'm really awfully busy.
724
00:55:19,950 --> 00:55:22,780
Roger, I can give you 250.
That is all I have.
725
00:55:22,820 --> 00:55:24,880
350, and not a penny less!
726
00:55:26,120 --> 00:55:27,990
But, I'll throw in a pilot.
727
00:55:29,130 --> 00:55:32,770
And so, it is with
great pleasure
728
00:55:32,800 --> 00:55:34,740
that as of, um,
729
00:55:35,830 --> 00:55:37,960
10:15 this morning,
730
00:55:38,670 --> 00:55:40,610
you are all...
731
00:55:40,640 --> 00:55:42,280
(PHONE BUZZING)
732
00:55:42,310 --> 00:55:43,710
Grummet!
733
00:55:43,740 --> 00:55:45,840
Yes. What?
734
00:55:46,980 --> 00:55:50,950
That's ridiculous.
I strongly protest. No way.
735
00:55:50,980 --> 00:55:53,740
Perhaps you'd like to
stop by my office
736
00:55:53,780 --> 00:55:56,050
and discuss
an early retirement?
737
00:55:57,150 --> 00:56:00,820
You wouldn't put
me on the beach,
would you?
738
00:56:00,860 --> 00:56:02,600
Let me say once again
739
00:56:02,630 --> 00:56:06,200
how very proud I am
of all of you.
740
00:56:06,230 --> 00:56:10,390
This has been a record year
for student placements
in the airline industry.
741
00:56:10,430 --> 00:56:13,130
If you will check
the announcement board
742
00:56:13,170 --> 00:56:16,600
in the main hall later,
we will have posted
743
00:56:16,640 --> 00:56:19,140
the names of
the various airlines
744
00:56:19,180 --> 00:56:22,020
and of the students
they have invited
745
00:56:22,050 --> 00:56:24,320
to come fly with them.
746
00:56:25,820 --> 00:56:27,860
In conclusion,
747
00:56:27,890 --> 00:56:30,420
I would just like to
leave you with one thought.
748
00:56:30,450 --> 00:56:32,320
(MAN SNORING)
Remember,
749
00:56:33,790 --> 00:56:35,350
when you go out there,
750
00:56:35,390 --> 00:56:38,590
you are representing
the Weidermeyer Academy.
751
00:56:39,430 --> 00:56:41,330
So whatever you do,
752
00:56:42,230 --> 00:56:44,030
do it with dignity.
753
00:56:44,070 --> 00:56:45,710
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
754
00:56:48,770 --> 00:56:50,300
Thank you.
755
00:56:50,340 --> 00:56:53,100
Here we go.
Breakfast in Paris.
756
00:56:53,140 --> 00:56:54,670
Dinner in Rome.
Dinner in Rome.
757
00:56:54,710 --> 00:56:56,910
All right, dude.
Here we go.
758
00:56:56,950 --> 00:56:58,890
TWA.
Pan-Am.
759
00:56:59,950 --> 00:57:02,780
Stromboli Airlines?
760
00:57:03,820 --> 00:57:05,320
(CHUCKLING)
761
00:57:06,190 --> 00:57:07,520
Well...
762
00:57:07,960 --> 00:57:09,630
(GROANS)
763
00:57:12,760 --> 00:57:13,960
Mmm.
764
00:57:15,470 --> 00:57:17,770
Well, you get
what you paid for.
765
00:57:17,800 --> 00:57:20,960
Hey, come on.
I mean, it's not as bad
as it all seems.
766
00:57:21,010 --> 00:57:24,480
Yeah, Philo's right.
Grummet made us all feel
like we were no good.
767
00:57:24,510 --> 00:57:26,050
Well, she's wrong!
768
00:57:26,080 --> 00:57:27,780
Yeah!
Yeah!
769
00:57:27,810 --> 00:57:30,470
Yeah, but none of you
were terminally clumsy.
770
00:57:31,080 --> 00:57:32,540
I am.
771
00:57:51,340 --> 00:57:53,070
(WHISPERING) She's under.
772
00:57:53,100 --> 00:57:54,770
That's amazing.
773
00:57:54,810 --> 00:57:57,850
Could you make her
bark like a seal while
I pretend to give her a fish?
774
00:57:57,880 --> 00:57:59,380
George.
What?
775
00:58:02,710 --> 00:58:04,040
Kelly Johnson.
776
00:58:05,520 --> 00:58:06,750
Yes.
777
00:58:08,550 --> 00:58:12,020
You are the most
graceful person on earth.
778
00:58:12,060 --> 00:58:13,190
I am?
779
00:58:13,220 --> 00:58:15,820
Yes.
Of course I am.
780
00:58:15,860 --> 00:58:19,520
You have the skill
of a ballerina,
781
00:58:20,130 --> 00:58:22,990
the hands of a surgeon,
782
00:58:23,970 --> 00:58:26,940
the dexterity of
783
00:58:26,970 --> 00:58:28,730
a Japanese sushi chef.
784
00:58:34,140 --> 00:58:36,970
Now, when I snap my fingers
785
00:58:37,010 --> 00:58:40,740
you will wake up
feeling like the great
new person you are.
786
00:59:09,980 --> 00:59:14,080
This place looks a lot
like the Bates Motel.
787
00:59:21,390 --> 00:59:23,620
Welcome. Welcome.
788
00:59:23,660 --> 00:59:27,120
I am Carl Stromboli,
I own the place.
789
00:59:27,160 --> 00:59:31,030
The driver will take care
of your luggage, so please
do follow me. Thank you.
790
00:59:33,570 --> 00:59:36,430
So nice to see you.
Very happy to see you.
791
00:59:43,650 --> 00:59:45,090
Sorry about
the lights being off,
792
00:59:45,120 --> 00:59:48,460
but I have to cut down
on expenses anywhere I can
793
00:59:48,490 --> 00:59:50,590
to keep the airline going.
794
00:59:51,320 --> 00:59:52,850
This way, please.
795
01:00:02,330 --> 01:00:04,190
Oh, wow.
796
01:00:04,230 --> 01:00:05,860
CARL: After you.
797
01:00:05,900 --> 01:00:07,530
Oh, my, look at this.
798
01:00:12,340 --> 01:00:14,500
Hey.
Don't stand on ceremonies,
799
01:00:14,550 --> 01:00:16,680
sit down. Come on,
make yourself at home.
800
01:00:18,450 --> 01:00:19,850
This is really nice.
801
01:00:19,880 --> 01:00:21,610
Thank you,
but it's my wife Sarah.
802
01:00:21,650 --> 01:00:24,180
She's the one with
the good taste in the family.
803
01:00:24,220 --> 01:00:25,720
Oh, ladies and gentlemen,
please
804
01:00:25,760 --> 01:00:27,930
I want you to say hello
to my dear wife Sarah.
805
01:00:27,960 --> 01:00:29,600
ALL: Hi, Sarah.
806
01:00:30,160 --> 01:00:31,860
Wow. Real food.
807
01:00:31,900 --> 01:00:34,940
(CHUCKLES) First eat,
we'll get to know
each other later.
808
01:00:34,970 --> 01:00:37,540
That's right.
Now, don't be shy.
Dig in, come on.
809
01:00:37,570 --> 01:00:38,970
Come on, come on,
let's eat.
810
01:01:08,370 --> 01:01:10,070
Oh, fuck it.
811
01:01:12,170 --> 01:01:15,080
Corn. Corn. Thank you.
812
01:01:15,110 --> 01:01:16,740
And some potatoes.
813
01:01:16,770 --> 01:01:20,740
So you can see why
this next flight
is so important for me.
814
01:01:22,710 --> 01:01:25,880
Every nickle I have
is tied up in this plane.
815
01:01:25,920 --> 01:01:27,920
And every nickle
I don't have.
816
01:01:30,590 --> 01:01:31,890
What am I worried?
817
01:01:31,920 --> 01:01:33,620
I've got
the best crew around.
818
01:01:33,660 --> 01:01:36,130
Really?
When can we meet them?
Huh?
819
01:01:36,160 --> 01:01:38,520
George,
he's talking about us.
820
01:01:38,560 --> 01:01:40,590
Well, one thing's
for sure Mr. Stromboli,
821
01:01:40,630 --> 01:01:43,160
we'll make certain that
the FAA inspector is happy.
822
01:01:43,200 --> 01:01:46,930
Yeah, that's good,
but you see,
we'll never know who it is.
823
01:01:46,970 --> 01:01:48,830
We never do.
It could be anyone
on the plane.
824
01:01:48,870 --> 01:01:50,470
It could be a man,
a woman.
825
01:01:50,510 --> 01:01:54,110
Sometimes they even use
a professional passenger
from your school.
826
01:01:54,140 --> 01:01:56,410
I'm not worried. You know why?
Because you are the ones
827
01:01:56,450 --> 01:01:58,150
who graduated in
the first of the class.
828
01:01:58,180 --> 01:02:00,580
And tomorrow's run
will be a snap for you.
829
01:02:00,620 --> 01:02:02,020
ALL: Tomorrow?
830
01:02:05,860 --> 01:02:07,760
Good morning, ladies and gentlemen,
831
01:02:07,790 --> 01:02:10,220
and welcome to Stromboli Airlines
832
01:02:10,260 --> 01:02:13,160
Flight 106, non stop to Atlanta.
833
01:02:13,200 --> 01:02:15,700
We are now ready to board.
834
01:02:15,730 --> 01:02:19,100
For those passengersneeding special assistance
835
01:02:19,140 --> 01:02:23,010
you may now step forwardat this time, please.
836
01:02:23,570 --> 01:02:25,040
Thank you.
837
01:02:26,080 --> 01:02:28,320
Go to your right.
She'll help you.
838
01:02:29,080 --> 01:02:30,550
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
839
01:02:45,430 --> 01:02:47,770
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
840
01:02:56,470 --> 01:02:58,600
KELLY: Easy does it.
There you go.
841
01:02:58,640 --> 01:03:00,800
Hi. Right this way.
842
01:03:02,680 --> 01:03:04,790
This way, sir.
Let me help you. Ow!
843
01:03:04,820 --> 01:03:06,920
Have a...
Have a good flight.
844
01:03:08,320 --> 01:03:09,360
Hi.
845
01:03:16,490 --> 01:03:18,360
Oh, oh, oh.
Allow me, sir.
846
01:03:18,400 --> 01:03:19,830
Take your hands
off me, you fool!
847
01:03:20,460 --> 01:03:22,030
(GROANING)
848
01:03:23,070 --> 01:03:25,710
Pain. Major pain.
849
01:03:25,740 --> 01:03:29,280
JOLEAN:
Passengers seated in rows 17 to 26,
850
01:03:29,310 --> 01:03:31,610
you may now board the plane.
851
01:03:38,350 --> 01:03:41,250
George, what are you doing?
There's blind people
walking all over the plane.
852
01:03:43,450 --> 01:03:45,980
Special observer
from the academy.
853
01:03:46,020 --> 01:03:47,650
I know the way.
854
01:03:48,160 --> 01:03:49,700
Terrific.
855
01:03:53,500 --> 01:03:54,940
Friend of yours?
856
01:03:56,330 --> 01:03:57,430
You married?
857
01:03:57,470 --> 01:03:59,110
Oh, yeah. You?
858
01:03:59,140 --> 01:04:00,640
No, no, no.
859
01:04:00,670 --> 01:04:03,500
Captain Biff likes to
keep his runways clear.
860
01:04:03,540 --> 01:04:05,200
Morning.
Morning.
861
01:04:05,240 --> 01:04:06,500
Oh, morning.
862
01:04:06,540 --> 01:04:08,710
Hi, doll.
Captain Biff?
863
01:04:08,750 --> 01:04:10,380
You're our pilot?
864
01:04:10,410 --> 01:04:12,840
That's right.
Are you impressed?
865
01:04:17,450 --> 01:04:19,680
Here we go, George.
Close her up.
866
01:04:20,190 --> 01:04:21,280
You got it.
867
01:04:38,740 --> 01:04:40,700
Fasten your seatbelt.
What are you, blind?
868
01:04:42,780 --> 01:04:44,920
What? Hmm?
869
01:04:47,580 --> 01:04:49,210
Ladies and gentlemen,
870
01:04:49,250 --> 01:04:53,580
please fasten your seatbelts
and put your chairs back
for take off.
871
01:04:53,620 --> 01:04:54,990
Thank you.
872
01:05:10,040 --> 01:05:13,300
Ladies and gentlemen,
this is the captain speaking.
873
01:05:13,340 --> 01:05:17,210
Atlanta Traffic Control informs me we'll be having some
874
01:05:17,250 --> 01:05:20,220
adverse weather condition en route, so,
875
01:05:20,250 --> 01:05:22,710
we'll be flying
at 35, 000 feet today
876
01:05:22,750 --> 01:05:26,880
to avoid most
of the turbulence.
Thank you.
877
01:05:26,920 --> 01:05:29,220
You must be used to
flying through storms,
huh, Captain?
878
01:05:31,160 --> 01:05:32,390
Storms?
879
01:05:34,970 --> 01:05:36,640
This is just great.
880
01:05:36,670 --> 01:05:39,240
What's Grummet doing on board?
I thought we were
through with her.
881
01:05:39,270 --> 01:05:42,340
According to the manual,
she's allowed to come
on the first flight
882
01:05:42,370 --> 01:05:45,270
as an observer,
and file a report with the FAA.
883
01:05:45,310 --> 01:05:46,810
Terrific.
884
01:05:50,080 --> 01:05:51,140
Whoa.
885
01:05:58,320 --> 01:05:59,480
Shit.
886
01:06:03,960 --> 01:06:06,390
Veal and water.
Veal and water.
887
01:06:08,130 --> 01:06:09,290
Thank you.
888
01:06:17,640 --> 01:06:19,570
Here you are, sir,
your veal and water.
889
01:06:19,610 --> 01:06:21,250
Thank you very much.
890
01:06:21,280 --> 01:06:23,080
Could I have some
peanut, too, please?
891
01:06:23,110 --> 01:06:24,440
Yes.
Thank you very much.
892
01:06:26,650 --> 01:06:27,940
May I put that
some place for you, sir?
893
01:06:27,990 --> 01:06:29,420
Don't touch that!
894
01:06:32,520 --> 01:06:34,780
It's a present
for my mother.
895
01:06:35,460 --> 01:06:37,300
It's very fragile.
896
01:06:38,530 --> 01:06:40,130
Oh, of course, sir.
897
01:06:40,160 --> 01:06:41,520
I understand.
898
01:06:50,440 --> 01:06:51,570
Ladies and gentlemen,
899
01:06:51,610 --> 01:06:55,220
for the safety and convenience
of our unsighted passengers
900
01:06:55,250 --> 01:06:58,990
we will ring our cabin bell twice when the seatbelt sign is on
901
01:06:59,020 --> 01:07:00,990
and once when it is off.
902
01:07:01,520 --> 01:07:02,960
Thank you.
903
01:08:04,550 --> 01:08:06,290
Where's my drink?
904
01:08:06,320 --> 01:08:07,890
(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
Coming right up, sir.
905
01:08:07,920 --> 01:08:09,260
Well, be quick about it.
906
01:08:09,290 --> 01:08:11,290
Yes, sir.
Whatever you say.
907
01:08:18,800 --> 01:08:20,230
(YAWNS)
908
01:08:39,120 --> 01:08:40,790
Oh, could I take that
for you, sir?
909
01:08:40,820 --> 01:08:41,960
Thank you, yes.
910
01:08:41,990 --> 01:08:44,390
Okay. And your glass?
There we are.
911
01:08:51,700 --> 01:08:53,070
(SIGHS)
912
01:09:22,090 --> 01:09:23,620
(RIPS TAPE)
913
01:09:33,470 --> 01:09:34,860
(LIGHTNING CRASHING)
914
01:09:34,910 --> 01:09:36,480
(WIND HOWLING)
915
01:09:38,840 --> 01:09:41,400
Looks like we're in
for a pretty good storm.
916
01:09:46,580 --> 01:09:50,250
Yeah, even at this altitude
we're gonna hit
a lot of turbulence.
917
01:09:55,530 --> 01:09:57,000
(COUGHS)
918
01:10:01,900 --> 01:10:03,200
Are you okay?
919
01:10:07,770 --> 01:10:09,070
My contacts!
920
01:10:10,410 --> 01:10:11,540
(LENS CRACKING)
921
01:10:17,980 --> 01:10:19,480
(KNOCKING)
Let me help you.
922
01:10:32,330 --> 01:10:33,630
(BEEPS)
923
01:10:33,660 --> 01:10:35,060
(CLOCK TICKING)
924
01:10:38,440 --> 01:10:39,770
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
925
01:10:46,710 --> 01:10:48,040
Sit right here.
926
01:10:48,080 --> 01:10:50,480
You're no good to us
if you can't see.
927
01:10:58,890 --> 01:11:00,290
(LIGHTNING CRASHES)
928
01:11:16,570 --> 01:11:17,930
Are you all right?
929
01:11:17,970 --> 01:11:19,940
(PANTING)
I feel strange.
930
01:11:19,980 --> 01:11:23,080
Like this is all a dream.
931
01:11:24,210 --> 01:11:26,310
You mean a nightmare.
932
01:11:26,350 --> 01:11:27,720
(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
933
01:11:30,790 --> 01:11:32,530
(GASPING)
934
01:11:33,190 --> 01:11:35,130
What are you most afraid of?
935
01:11:36,430 --> 01:11:38,400
Confinement.
936
01:11:38,430 --> 01:11:40,470
Closed spaces.
937
01:11:41,970 --> 01:11:44,340
It's awful tight in here.
Isn't it?
938
01:11:44,370 --> 01:11:46,440
(LAUGHING)
(SCREAMS)
939
01:11:50,140 --> 01:11:51,800
Something's wrong with him.
940
01:11:52,980 --> 01:11:54,680
I need air!
I need air!
941
01:11:56,710 --> 01:11:58,370
Sit down!
942
01:11:59,520 --> 01:12:00,490
It's okay.
943
01:12:00,520 --> 01:12:02,720
What is this guy's problem?
I don't know.
944
01:12:02,750 --> 01:12:03,650
(SCREAMING)
945
01:12:03,690 --> 01:12:05,390
The passengers are
getting really upset.
946
01:12:07,620 --> 01:12:11,150
What are we gonna do?
We cannot spend the rest
of the flight like this.
947
01:12:12,300 --> 01:12:13,630
(PASSENGER YELLS)
948
01:12:14,000 --> 01:12:15,070
Trouble?
949
01:12:15,100 --> 01:12:16,640
Eat it, prune face!
950
01:12:20,440 --> 01:12:21,710
(SCREAMS)
951
01:12:21,740 --> 01:12:22,680
(SHUSHING)
952
01:12:22,710 --> 01:12:25,880
There's gotta be some way
to calm him down.
953
01:12:27,910 --> 01:12:29,240
Step aside.
954
01:12:37,450 --> 01:12:39,550
Oh, my God,
they're in your nose!
955
01:12:44,660 --> 01:12:46,160
(GASPS)
956
01:13:01,540 --> 01:13:03,340
(TICKING)
957
01:13:30,070 --> 01:13:32,170
(GIGGLING)
958
01:13:32,610 --> 01:13:33,810
(GASPS)
959
01:13:40,820 --> 01:13:42,860
(PASSENGER GASPING)
960
01:13:47,960 --> 01:13:49,700
(SHRIEKS)
961
01:13:50,160 --> 01:13:52,360
(RELIEVED SIGH)
962
01:13:57,100 --> 01:14:00,330
Okay. Okay. Okay.
963
01:14:07,940 --> 01:14:09,870
(LIGHTNING CRASHES)
964
01:14:18,760 --> 01:14:20,490
Blow job is two words.
965
01:14:27,100 --> 01:14:28,840
Gee, uh,
966
01:14:28,870 --> 01:14:31,270
I didn't think it'd be
this rough way up here.
967
01:14:32,370 --> 01:14:33,910
Is that normal?
968
01:14:33,940 --> 01:14:36,740
Don't know. This is
my first flight, Captain.
969
01:14:36,770 --> 01:14:37,970
Oh, yeah, right.
970
01:14:45,220 --> 01:14:46,650
(TERRORIST LAUGHING)
971
01:14:47,180 --> 01:14:48,480
All right!
972
01:14:48,520 --> 01:14:50,690
Turn around real slow!
973
01:15:00,560 --> 01:15:02,630
Snappy coat...
Shut up!
974
01:15:03,970 --> 01:15:05,740
Keep your hands
where I can see 'em.
975
01:15:18,210 --> 01:15:20,540
(GROANING LOUDLY)
976
01:15:29,290 --> 01:15:30,550
Oh, boy.
977
01:15:30,890 --> 01:15:32,690
(GROANING)
978
01:15:35,600 --> 01:15:37,370
All right, fish face!
979
01:15:37,400 --> 01:15:39,360
Put it on automatic pilot!
980
01:15:39,400 --> 01:15:42,060
Um, we can't do that
at this altitude.
981
01:15:43,240 --> 01:15:44,710
We can't?
982
01:15:45,410 --> 01:15:47,910
Oh, yes.
Yes, we can.
983
01:15:47,940 --> 01:15:51,310
We can do anything.
Only please,
please don't shoot me.
984
01:15:51,350 --> 01:15:52,750
Do it now!
985
01:15:58,920 --> 01:16:02,020
Okay. Automatic. No hands.
986
01:16:04,930 --> 01:16:07,000
Ah! I want you all to know
987
01:16:07,030 --> 01:16:11,760
that I've got enough here
to hang you and put an
end to Stromboli Airlines.
988
01:16:11,800 --> 01:16:14,900
I'm taking my report
to the captain right now.
989
01:16:14,940 --> 01:16:16,480
Blow it out your ass!
990
01:16:16,510 --> 01:16:19,710
(GASPS) I just think
I'll add that to my report.
991
01:16:19,740 --> 01:16:21,100
(LIGHTNING CRASHES)
(SCREAMS)
992
01:16:23,180 --> 01:16:24,920
(SCREAMS)
(TOILET FLUSHES)
993
01:16:34,120 --> 01:16:35,750
(GRUMMET SCREAMING)
994
01:16:35,790 --> 01:16:37,420
(ALL GROANING)
995
01:16:37,460 --> 01:16:38,960
PHILO: Holy moly!
996
01:16:46,040 --> 01:16:47,570
(SCREAMING)
997
01:16:54,440 --> 01:16:56,410
(SCREAMING)
998
01:16:56,450 --> 01:16:58,050
GRUMMET: Oh, my God!
999
01:17:00,820 --> 01:17:02,520
Okay. Okay.
1000
01:17:04,120 --> 01:17:06,480
(SCREAMS)
(GASPS) No.
1001
01:17:06,520 --> 01:17:09,490
I didn't do anything.
I was good.
1002
01:17:18,230 --> 01:17:19,660
Is this gonna hurt?
1003
01:17:21,370 --> 01:17:23,470
It is, isn't it?
Is it?
1004
01:17:23,510 --> 01:17:25,140
(GAS HISSING)
1005
01:17:31,050 --> 01:17:32,850
(INCREASES PRESSURE)
1006
01:17:33,520 --> 01:17:34,990
(INHALES DEEPLY)
1007
01:18:14,090 --> 01:18:15,920
(INHALES DEEPLY)
1008
01:18:27,900 --> 01:18:30,870
I hope you guys
like cherries on your sun...
1009
01:18:36,910 --> 01:18:38,540
(SCREAMING)
1010
01:18:52,030 --> 01:18:53,770
(BEEPING)
1011
01:19:05,110 --> 01:19:07,080
(WIND HOWLING)
1012
01:19:29,330 --> 01:19:30,830
(SCREAMS)
1013
01:19:38,570 --> 01:19:40,070
Here, sit down.
1014
01:19:42,680 --> 01:19:45,350
What the...
What happened here?
1015
01:19:45,380 --> 01:19:47,180
I smell ether.
1016
01:19:47,220 --> 01:19:48,420
She's breathing.
1017
01:19:48,450 --> 01:19:49,750
He's alive!
1018
01:19:49,790 --> 01:19:52,090
What's the switchboard
on the altimeter say?
1019
01:19:55,930 --> 01:19:57,930
It says "auto".
Good.
1020
01:19:57,960 --> 01:19:59,920
All right, let's get
these people outta here.
1021
01:20:10,240 --> 01:20:13,750
I did a quick head count,
and the guy in 30C is missing.
1022
01:20:13,780 --> 01:20:14,950
He must've jumped.
1023
01:20:14,980 --> 01:20:17,580
Who would jump out
of a plane at 40, 000 feet?
1024
01:20:17,610 --> 01:20:19,980
The guy in 30C.
1025
01:20:20,550 --> 01:20:22,040
All right.
1026
01:20:22,080 --> 01:20:24,880
I want you to start
searching the plane
quickly and quietly
1027
01:20:24,920 --> 01:20:26,780
without alarming
the passengers.
1028
01:20:26,820 --> 01:20:28,380
What are we looking for?
1029
01:20:28,420 --> 01:20:30,850
Unless I miss my guess,
a bomb.
1030
01:20:32,030 --> 01:20:35,170
That's amazing.
I knew you were
gonna say that.
1031
01:20:35,200 --> 01:20:36,940
George!
I'm gone.
1032
01:20:40,640 --> 01:20:42,240
What do you think?
1033
01:20:42,270 --> 01:20:45,700
Well, I think we'll be okay
for a while on autopilot.
1034
01:20:52,250 --> 01:20:54,050
Wait.
1035
01:20:54,080 --> 01:20:55,780
Where are we
supposed to look?
1036
01:20:55,820 --> 01:20:57,720
I don't know.
How about if we start
1037
01:20:57,750 --> 01:20:59,520
at the back of the plane
and work our way up?
1038
01:20:59,560 --> 01:21:00,890
Good idea.
1039
01:21:07,200 --> 01:21:08,430
Whoa!
1040
01:21:18,240 --> 01:21:19,870
(BOMB TICKING)
1041
01:21:30,050 --> 01:21:31,550
What the hell's
going on here?
1042
01:21:31,590 --> 01:21:33,930
Not now, Mr. Buttersworth.
1043
01:21:35,930 --> 01:21:37,800
I'll get to the bottom of this.
1044
01:21:46,040 --> 01:21:47,310
Who's there?
1045
01:21:52,170 --> 01:21:53,900
Are you the pilot?
1046
01:21:53,940 --> 01:21:55,240
Yeah.
1047
01:21:56,810 --> 01:21:58,810
Are you a passenger?
Yes!
1048
01:21:58,850 --> 01:22:01,150
And I demand to know
what's going on here!
1049
01:22:03,750 --> 01:22:05,110
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
1050
01:22:09,530 --> 01:22:10,930
Thanks.
1051
01:22:17,370 --> 01:22:18,600
MAN: What is that thing?
1052
01:22:18,630 --> 01:22:20,300
Portable microwave.
1053
01:22:24,470 --> 01:22:25,830
What did he say?
1054
01:22:33,820 --> 01:22:36,890
Doesn't anybody know
anything about bombs?
1055
01:22:37,490 --> 01:22:38,990
You got a bobby pin?
1056
01:22:39,020 --> 01:22:40,150
Yeah.
1057
01:22:45,160 --> 01:22:46,260
No!
1058
01:22:46,300 --> 01:22:47,600
Move over, Kojak.
1059
01:22:47,630 --> 01:22:49,390
Somebody quick,
get me some tools.
1060
01:22:49,430 --> 01:22:51,730
Everybody else
secure the passengers
and move forward.
1061
01:22:51,770 --> 01:22:54,340
Check.
Rule 47...
1062
01:22:54,370 --> 01:22:56,070
ALL: Keep smiling.
1063
01:23:03,210 --> 01:23:04,740
Holy shit!
1064
01:23:05,550 --> 01:23:06,890
I hope you're in a good mood.
1065
01:23:06,920 --> 01:23:09,150
(LIGHTNING CRASHING)
1066
01:23:10,350 --> 01:23:11,750
Apparently not.
1067
01:23:11,790 --> 01:23:13,890
(ALL CLAMORING)
1068
01:23:15,390 --> 01:23:17,020
(BOMB TICKING)
1069
01:23:26,770 --> 01:23:28,510
I'm a little slow.
1070
01:23:28,540 --> 01:23:30,040
George!
1071
01:23:30,070 --> 01:23:31,830
Sorry, I'm new to this.
1072
01:23:38,350 --> 01:23:39,990
(LIGHTNING CRASHING)
1073
01:23:43,650 --> 01:23:45,380
(GEORGE SHUSHING)
1074
01:23:48,390 --> 01:23:51,090
Now the problem is
if I cut the wrong wire,
1075
01:23:51,130 --> 01:23:52,930
this thing could
go off in our faces.
1076
01:23:55,870 --> 01:23:58,000
Philo!
Strap him in!
1077
01:24:01,970 --> 01:24:04,800
What the hell kind of
airline is this?
1078
01:24:05,670 --> 01:24:07,470
Okay.
1079
01:24:07,510 --> 01:24:09,470
(JULEAN WHIMPERING)
1080
01:24:09,510 --> 01:24:12,010
Here goes. I'll get it.
1081
01:24:14,550 --> 01:24:16,150
(JULEAN GRUNTING)
1082
01:24:17,620 --> 01:24:20,480
(SQUEALS) You did it!
1083
01:24:20,520 --> 01:24:22,550
(LAUGHS) It was nothing.
1084
01:24:23,130 --> 01:24:24,430
(BEEPS)
1085
01:24:24,460 --> 01:24:26,190
(FAST TICKING)
1086
01:24:27,000 --> 01:24:29,070
You didn't do it.
1087
01:24:29,100 --> 01:24:30,900
I think it's time
for plan B.
1088
01:24:30,930 --> 01:24:33,160
Plan B?
Run away!
1089
01:24:39,680 --> 01:24:41,210
Oh! Oh!
1090
01:24:44,910 --> 01:24:47,040
(SCREAMING)
1091
01:24:53,090 --> 01:24:56,030
Jolean! Are you all right?
1092
01:24:57,760 --> 01:24:59,920
It's raining out.
1093
01:24:59,960 --> 01:25:02,090
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
1094
01:25:02,130 --> 01:25:04,460
Oh, man,
I need a drink.
1095
01:25:04,500 --> 01:25:06,100
Can I get you something?
1096
01:25:07,670 --> 01:25:09,130
Forget it.
1097
01:25:13,180 --> 01:25:15,650
Captain,
pressure's back to normal.
Everyone's okay.
1098
01:25:15,680 --> 01:25:19,050
Now if I can only see
I can land this baby
on a dime!
1099
01:25:19,080 --> 01:25:21,340
Wait a minute.
He can't see either?
1100
01:25:21,380 --> 01:25:22,740
No!
1101
01:25:22,790 --> 01:25:24,020
I'm taking over!
1102
01:25:24,050 --> 01:25:26,180
(ALL SCREAMING)
1103
01:25:28,960 --> 01:25:30,700
No, Mr. Buttersworth!
1104
01:25:35,900 --> 01:25:37,700
Listen, I wore glasses.
You wanna try them?
1105
01:25:37,730 --> 01:25:41,230
No, I got this weird
astigmatism called
binocular vision.
1106
01:25:43,770 --> 01:25:45,170
Wait!
1107
01:25:45,910 --> 01:25:48,480
Hey, here. Try these.
1108
01:25:51,010 --> 01:25:53,310
No. No, they're no good.
1109
01:25:54,480 --> 01:25:57,350
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute,
turn them around.
1110
01:25:58,520 --> 01:25:59,980
Here.
1111
01:26:03,530 --> 01:26:07,130
That's it! That's it,
strap it to my head!
1112
01:26:07,160 --> 01:26:08,920
We're going home!
1113
01:26:08,960 --> 01:26:10,760
(ALL CHEERING)
1114
01:26:13,370 --> 01:26:15,370
(ALL WHOOPING)
1115
01:26:44,000 --> 01:26:48,670
Now it's all up to
the FAA inspector
who was on board.
1116
01:26:49,640 --> 01:26:52,240
Will the bailiff
please call the final witness?
1117
01:27:00,780 --> 01:27:02,410
They're ready for you.
1118
01:27:29,850 --> 01:27:33,790
Do you promise to tell
the truth, the whole truth,
and nothing but the truth?
1119
01:27:33,820 --> 01:27:35,150
I do.
1120
01:27:38,720 --> 01:27:42,420
Sir, would you please
share with us your impressions
1121
01:27:42,460 --> 01:27:46,400
of what happened
on Flight 106 to Atlanta?
1122
01:27:54,240 --> 01:27:59,140
Frankly, it was
the best flight I ever had.
1123
01:28:02,810 --> 01:28:03,970
Case dismissed.
1124
01:28:04,010 --> 01:28:05,770
(ALL CHEERING)
1125
01:28:24,700 --> 01:28:26,560
(GROANING)
1126
01:28:31,540 --> 01:28:34,440
It's amazing. I knew
he was gonna say that.
1127
01:28:41,280 --> 01:28:42,640
( STEW SCHOOL
BY KEITH LANDRY PLAYING)
1128
01:28:42,690 --> 01:28:44,990
¶ Well, I feel so good
1129
01:28:45,020 --> 01:28:48,250
¶ When my feet Are off the ground
1130
01:28:53,900 --> 01:28:57,040
¶ And before I got to heaven
1131
01:28:57,070 --> 01:29:00,110
¶ I'm gonna fly This world around
1132
01:29:03,670 --> 01:29:08,670
¶ I'm going to Stew school, darling
1133
01:29:08,710 --> 01:29:14,410
¶ Gonna get myself together While I'm, yeah
1134
01:29:15,850 --> 01:29:19,250
¶ Flying
1135
01:29:19,290 --> 01:29:21,530
(UPBEAT BLUES PLAYING)
1136
01:29:24,390 --> 01:29:27,290
¶ Well, I feel so good When my feet are Off the ground
1137
01:29:27,330 --> 01:29:29,940
¶ Before I get to heaven Gonna fly this world around
1138
01:29:29,970 --> 01:29:35,770
¶ I'm going to stew schoolDon't try and make me uptight
1139
01:29:35,800 --> 01:29:41,300
¶ I'm going to stew school You know it's gonna Be all right
1140
01:29:41,340 --> 01:29:46,140
¶ I'm going to stew school Darling, gonna get myself Together and fly
1141
01:29:48,280 --> 01:29:52,010
¶ Don't try to stop me Don't try to stop me tonight
1142
01:29:53,890 --> 01:29:57,760
¶ Nothing can stop me And I'd maybe Pull up a fight
1143
01:29:59,260 --> 01:30:02,260
¶ I'm gonna carve me out A brand new road
1144
01:30:02,300 --> 01:30:04,900
¶ I'm gonna loosen up This heavy load
1145
01:30:04,930 --> 01:30:09,000
¶ I'm going to stew school! No one can stop me now
1146
01:30:09,040 --> 01:30:11,980
¶ Stew school! I'm gonna show you how
1147
01:30:12,010 --> 01:30:16,310
¶ Stew school!I'm gonna make it all right
1148
01:30:22,850 --> 01:30:25,850
¶ Well, my tank was emptyThought my soul was gonna die
1149
01:30:25,890 --> 01:30:28,630
¶ So I had to get back Up and running It was really fun
1150
01:30:28,660 --> 01:30:33,060
¶ I'm going to stew school Don't try to stop me tonight
1151
01:30:34,430 --> 01:30:39,490
¶ I'm going to stew schoolI know it's gonna be all right
1152
01:30:39,540 --> 01:30:42,040
¶ Well, I'm going To stew school, darling
1153
01:30:42,070 --> 01:30:44,530
¶ Gonna get myself Together and fly
1154
01:30:46,780 --> 01:30:50,520
¶ Don't try to stop me Don't try to stop me tonight
1155
01:30:52,650 --> 01:30:56,590
¶ Nothing can stop me And I'd maybe Pull up a fight
1156
01:30:57,850 --> 01:31:00,750
¶ I'm gonna carve me out A brand new road
1157
01:31:00,790 --> 01:31:03,700
¶ I'm gonna loosen up This heavy load
1158
01:31:03,730 --> 01:31:07,500
¶ I'm going to stew school! No one can stop me now
1159
01:31:07,530 --> 01:31:10,370
¶ Stew school! I'm gonna show you how
1160
01:31:10,400 --> 01:31:15,610
¶ Stew school! I'm gonna make it all right
1161
01:31:38,830 --> 01:31:42,600
¶ Stew school! I'm gonna make it all right
1162
01:31:42,630 --> 01:31:45,460
¶ Stew school! I'm gonna show you how
1163
01:31:45,500 --> 01:31:50,600
¶ Stew school! I'm gonna Make it all right ¶
81087
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