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1
00:01:14,410 --> 00:01:16,207
Oh, here comes Daddy.
2
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:17,889
How do I look?
3
00:01:18,090 --> 00:01:20,046
- Terrific, Mom.
- Good.
4
00:01:20,250 --> 00:01:24,721
You know, every payday I like Daddy
to see what his last check went for.
5
00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:27,883
Assume the position.
6
00:01:31,050 --> 00:01:33,769
Hi. Nice to see you.
Good to be back.
7
00:01:33,970 --> 00:01:35,767
If anyone needs me,
I'll be on the couch.
8
00:01:35,970 --> 00:01:38,484
Goodbye. So long.
Don't write. Don't call.
9
00:01:39,530 --> 00:01:43,000
Al, perhaps you didn't see us.
10
00:01:44,810 --> 00:01:46,528
I think he's playing dumb.
11
00:01:46,730 --> 00:01:50,848
No, honey. I've known him for years.
He's not playing.
12
00:01:51,450 --> 00:01:55,045
- Where's the money, Al?
- I got robbed.
13
00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:59,199
I was driving home and I drove by the
bank, and the street was cordoned off.
14
00:01:59,410 --> 00:02:02,004
So I knew I shouldn't
get out of the car, but I did...
15
00:02:02,210 --> 00:02:03,802
...and that's when they jumped me.
16
00:02:04,010 --> 00:02:06,478
- Muggers, Al?
- Worse.
17
00:02:06,690 --> 00:02:08,282
Bankers.
18
00:02:09,450 --> 00:02:11,486
Bill collectors,
electric-company reps...
19
00:02:11,690 --> 00:02:14,488
...that wiry little woman
from the water company.
20
00:02:14,690 --> 00:02:16,043
They were all there.
21
00:02:16,250 --> 00:02:18,286
They threw me down,
forced a pen in my hand...
22
00:02:18,490 --> 00:02:20,765
...and made me pay bills
against my will.
23
00:02:21,610 --> 00:02:23,885
I felt so violated.
24
00:02:24,650 --> 00:02:26,447
But I fought like a wildcat...
25
00:02:26,650 --> 00:02:28,208
...and I think I felt a toe snap...
26
00:02:28,410 --> 00:02:31,402
...when I bit through that
water-company babe's penny loafer.
27
00:02:32,370 --> 00:02:36,124
And that gas guy's gonna be reading
meters out of one eye for a while.
28
00:02:36,770 --> 00:02:39,045
Well, you know, this is my own fault.
29
00:02:39,250 --> 00:02:41,081
The organ grinder
who owns the monkey...
30
00:02:41,290 --> 00:02:43,724
...doesn't let him have the check.
31
00:02:43,930 --> 00:02:46,683
You're the organ grinder, all right.
32
00:02:50,210 --> 00:02:52,599
Hey, what's this?
33
00:02:53,890 --> 00:02:56,529
Well, it was my handkerchief.
34
00:02:56,730 --> 00:02:58,607
Here, boy.
35
00:03:01,170 --> 00:03:02,398
Good boy.
36
00:03:02,610 --> 00:03:05,568
Hey, kids, look at this.
37
00:03:05,770 --> 00:03:09,843
It's a brochure announcing
a monthly shoe-sales contest.
38
00:03:10,050 --> 00:03:14,441
And the winner gets a free
first-class trip to Hawaii.
39
00:03:14,650 --> 00:03:17,403
Well, that's fine for the winner,
but what would Dad get?
40
00:03:19,650 --> 00:03:22,244
So you bowel-constricting vampires
I call loved ones...
41
00:03:22,450 --> 00:03:24,645
...think I couldn't possibly
be a winner, huh?
42
00:03:24,850 --> 00:03:27,205
- No.
- Not really.
43
00:03:27,690 --> 00:03:30,363
Oh, sure, I pulled the handle
on the slot machine of life...
44
00:03:30,570 --> 00:03:33,084
...and come up with prune, lemon...
45
00:03:33,290 --> 00:03:35,679
...and the lonely Mr. Cherry.
46
00:03:40,770 --> 00:03:42,806
But I was a high school hero.
47
00:03:43,010 --> 00:03:44,409
And I can do it again.
48
00:03:44,610 --> 00:03:47,647
Any man who can score
four touchdowns in a single game...
49
00:03:47,850 --> 00:03:50,159
...after a night with your mother...
50
00:03:50,370 --> 00:03:52,679
...is surely capable of new glory.
51
00:03:52,890 --> 00:03:55,848
Al Bundy will win this contest
and go to Hawaii.
52
00:03:56,050 --> 00:03:57,961
- First class.
- How come the winner...
53
00:03:58,170 --> 00:03:59,888
...only gets one ticket?
- Otherwise...
54
00:04:00,090 --> 00:04:02,809
...he'd have to take his wife.
Where's the incentive there?
55
00:04:04,810 --> 00:04:06,607
Here he comes.
56
00:04:06,810 --> 00:04:08,960
He's coming in for a pit stop.
57
00:04:12,170 --> 00:04:15,845
Sold 24 pair of shoes,
and I'm in third place.
58
00:04:17,410 --> 00:04:19,082
Shower me.
59
00:04:21,450 --> 00:04:23,327
Squeegee me.
60
00:04:25,250 --> 00:04:26,478
Shoe me.
61
00:04:26,690 --> 00:04:29,045
Fratella's in second place,
but I can take him.
62
00:04:29,250 --> 00:04:33,084
He goes home at night to visit his wife.
The sap still loves her.
63
00:04:33,450 --> 00:04:35,406
Luckily I don't have that problem.
64
00:04:36,850 --> 00:04:39,125
No time for frivolity.
65
00:04:39,650 --> 00:04:41,242
Freshen me.
66
00:04:42,490 --> 00:04:44,128
Shirt me.
67
00:04:46,570 --> 00:04:48,083
Shoe me.
68
00:04:48,970 --> 00:04:50,926
Get away from me.
69
00:04:52,810 --> 00:04:56,120
I am now ready to sell.
70
00:04:57,810 --> 00:05:00,927
That should be Marcie
coming to buy shoes.
71
00:05:04,770 --> 00:05:06,328
The strangest thing just happened.
72
00:05:06,530 --> 00:05:07,758
I was taking a shower...
73
00:05:07,970 --> 00:05:10,882
...and someone broke in
and stole all my shoes.
74
00:05:13,370 --> 00:05:15,247
How odd.
75
00:05:18,370 --> 00:05:21,282
I only hope that this is not a night
in which you need shoes.
76
00:05:21,490 --> 00:05:23,242
Well, you know she does,
Al, I told you.
77
00:05:23,450 --> 00:05:26,442
We have a big, important dinner
with the bank president, remember?
78
00:05:26,650 --> 00:05:29,323
Marcie was in the shower,
you told me my hair was a mess...
79
00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:32,840
...so of course, I ran off to fix it.
When I came back, you were gone.
80
00:05:33,050 --> 00:05:34,802
You must have just missed
the burglar.
81
00:05:35,010 --> 00:05:38,559
Anyway, hey, how's my hair?
82
00:05:39,610 --> 00:05:40,838
Soft, yet manageable.
83
00:05:41,050 --> 00:05:43,439
Now, Marcie, as a friend
who's also in the business...
84
00:05:43,650 --> 00:05:45,925
...let me fix you up
with a nice pair of shoes.
85
00:05:46,130 --> 00:05:48,883
Now, just sit down right here
and put your feet in my hands.
86
00:05:49,090 --> 00:05:51,558
You're not gonna look up my dress,
are you?
87
00:05:55,170 --> 00:05:57,400
I'm not going through
the rest of my life blind...
88
00:05:57,610 --> 00:05:58,929
...just to sell you shoes.
89
00:06:02,970 --> 00:06:05,882
Now, here, let me show you
a very nice set of pumps.
90
00:06:06,090 --> 00:06:08,160
Two-inch heels, which,
by coincidence...
91
00:06:08,370 --> 00:06:10,645
...match your dress exactly.
92
00:06:10,850 --> 00:06:14,240
- They're perfect. I'll take them.
- Fine. That'll be $500.
93
00:06:14,450 --> 00:06:16,122
Five hundred dollars?
94
00:06:16,330 --> 00:06:17,683
Well, they came in a six-pack.
95
00:06:17,890 --> 00:06:19,960
Apparently, they were
a family of cats...
96
00:06:20,170 --> 00:06:22,126
...and we were asked
not to separate them.
97
00:06:22,330 --> 00:06:24,525
But trust me.
They weren't killed for shoes.
98
00:06:24,730 --> 00:06:26,846
They were all run over by cars.
99
00:06:28,570 --> 00:06:31,084
That must be where they get
Hush Puppies.
100
00:06:33,010 --> 00:06:35,683
Oh, spare me.
Just give me the shoes.
101
00:06:35,890 --> 00:06:38,199
I'm tired of looking at myself
in your head.
102
00:06:39,090 --> 00:06:41,240
Come on, Jefferson, we're late.
103
00:06:41,450 --> 00:06:44,965
And remember, after dinner when
they serve the cigars and brandy...
104
00:06:45,170 --> 00:06:47,320
...you go in the other room
with the wives.
105
00:06:47,530 --> 00:06:50,044
All right, but I better get
a phone book for my pants...
106
00:06:50,250 --> 00:06:52,127
...because every time
it's the same thing.
107
00:06:52,330 --> 00:06:54,161
The lights "accidentally" go out...
108
00:06:54,370 --> 00:06:57,362
...and I'm the helpless victim
of a gang-goose.
109
00:06:57,570 --> 00:07:01,085
Look, those people
are important to my career.
110
00:07:01,290 --> 00:07:03,201
You'll take it and like it, missy.
111
00:07:08,810 --> 00:07:11,449
Marcie, come on. I need some help.
The wind has picked up.
112
00:07:11,650 --> 00:07:15,006
Could be disastrous for my hair.
You know.
113
00:07:21,410 --> 00:07:23,241
Mom. You know what I'm thinking?
114
00:07:24,050 --> 00:07:27,008
That we should go upstairs
and split up Marcie's shoes?
115
00:07:27,210 --> 00:07:30,486
No, I was just wondering
what I was thinking, because I forgot.
116
00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:37,848
Hi, Dad.
117
00:07:41,330 --> 00:07:44,800
- This is Petal.
- It's part of a flower.
118
00:07:47,370 --> 00:07:51,045
Isn't she great?
I met her in Quantum Physics.
119
00:07:51,890 --> 00:07:53,118
Hold my calls.
120
00:07:53,970 --> 00:07:56,359
There never are any, son.
121
00:07:56,570 --> 00:07:58,481
Never mind that now, Dad.
122
00:07:58,690 --> 00:08:00,487
See you tomorrow.
123
00:08:01,610 --> 00:08:03,282
Young lady!
124
00:08:04,530 --> 00:08:06,168
Young lady, you do realize...
125
00:08:06,370 --> 00:08:08,725
...that's my son's bedroom
you're going to?
126
00:08:08,930 --> 00:08:10,522
Yes.
127
00:08:24,610 --> 00:08:28,000
Hey, nice shoes.
128
00:08:31,410 --> 00:08:33,128
Dad, don't.
129
00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:36,046
Come on, Dad. Dad, no.
130
00:08:40,170 --> 00:08:42,286
Come on, Bud. Get over it.
131
00:08:42,490 --> 00:08:45,482
What is one girl
in the grand scheme of your life?
132
00:08:45,690 --> 00:08:47,999
Just your only chance.
133
00:08:49,170 --> 00:08:51,365
Oh, come on, you're not alone in this.
134
00:08:51,570 --> 00:08:55,199
I myself have never
had a woman, and I'm fine.
135
00:08:56,370 --> 00:08:58,247
And neither has Mom.
136
00:08:58,450 --> 00:09:01,123
And lately, neither has your father.
137
00:09:02,970 --> 00:09:04,528
Family.
138
00:09:05,490 --> 00:09:07,446
Bask in the glory.
139
00:09:07,650 --> 00:09:09,083
I did it.
140
00:09:09,290 --> 00:09:11,485
I won the contest.
141
00:09:17,970 --> 00:09:20,768
You're looking at
the shoe salesman of the month.
142
00:09:20,970 --> 00:09:24,121
I'm going to Hawaii. First class.
143
00:09:24,330 --> 00:09:26,605
And you know what they have
in first class?
144
00:09:26,810 --> 00:09:29,244
Unlimited peanuts.
145
00:09:29,930 --> 00:09:33,843
And a passenger-lavatory ratio
of only six to one.
146
00:09:34,050 --> 00:09:36,518
Gee, I'm gonna miss you guys.
147
00:09:37,890 --> 00:09:41,041
Well, hang onto
your hemorrhoids, honey.
148
00:09:41,250 --> 00:09:42,478
I have news for you.
149
00:09:42,690 --> 00:09:45,841
I called the airlines
and there's been a change of plans.
150
00:09:46,050 --> 00:09:49,963
I traded your first-class ticket in
for four standbys.
151
00:09:50,170 --> 00:09:52,889
We're all going to Hawaii together.
152
00:09:54,570 --> 00:09:55,969
And, Dad...
153
00:09:56,170 --> 00:09:58,559
...it was my idea.
154
00:09:58,770 --> 00:10:01,762
Oh, that was so smart.
155
00:10:14,130 --> 00:10:16,928
Well, standby isn't too bad.
156
00:10:17,130 --> 00:10:19,849
I mean, how long can they
possibly make us wait?
157
00:10:41,890 --> 00:10:43,881
Well, I checked on Seven.
158
00:10:44,090 --> 00:10:45,728
Marcie found him where we left him.
159
00:10:45,930 --> 00:10:47,966
In her guest room.
160
00:10:48,170 --> 00:10:49,603
She said she'd look after him.
161
00:10:49,810 --> 00:10:53,598
She's just amazed by the things
that happen when she's in the shower.
162
00:10:53,810 --> 00:10:56,324
- Well, what about Buck?
- Oh, I took care of that.
163
00:10:56,530 --> 00:10:58,407
I opened up six cans of dog food...
164
00:10:58,610 --> 00:11:01,727
...and I told him to only
eat one each day.
165
00:11:02,090 --> 00:11:04,650
And I could tell by the way
he dug into that first can...
166
00:11:04,850 --> 00:11:06,602
...that he understood completely.
167
00:11:06,810 --> 00:11:08,038
Some man...
168
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:09,478
...or men...
169
00:11:09,690 --> 00:11:12,363
...are gonna be very lucky
to have you one day.
170
00:11:14,730 --> 00:11:16,209
Attention, ladies and gentlemen.
171
00:11:16,410 --> 00:11:21,120
In the first-class lounge
the champagne is now 42 degrees.
172
00:11:21,330 --> 00:11:26,085
And, as always, unlimited peanuts
are now being served.
173
00:11:28,170 --> 00:11:29,603
First class.
174
00:11:29,810 --> 00:11:32,608
Champagne.
Peanuts flowing like wine.
175
00:11:32,810 --> 00:11:34,368
That was supposed to be me.
176
00:11:47,130 --> 00:11:50,600
Welcome to the first-class lounge.
May I see your ticket, sir?
177
00:11:53,770 --> 00:11:55,840
This is standby.
178
00:11:56,050 --> 00:11:58,006
You embarrass me and yourself.
179
00:12:00,650 --> 00:12:02,368
- Excuse me.
- Hey.
180
00:12:02,570 --> 00:12:04,720
It's John Sebastian.
181
00:12:09,610 --> 00:12:11,202
Believe in magic, buddy.
182
00:12:15,890 --> 00:12:18,120
I seem to have lost my ticket.
183
00:12:18,330 --> 00:12:20,241
Oh, it doesn't matter, Mr. Sebastian.
184
00:12:20,450 --> 00:12:25,160
We know you. Go right in.
As always, the peanuts are unlimited.
185
00:12:25,650 --> 00:12:27,561
Life is good.
186
00:12:29,010 --> 00:12:30,682
I should have said I lost my ticket.
187
00:12:30,890 --> 00:12:34,565
Wouldn't have done any good.
You're not a rock star.
188
00:12:46,930 --> 00:12:50,639
Oh, Richie Havens. Welcome, sir.
189
00:12:52,050 --> 00:12:56,248
Spencer Davis. Good to see you.
190
00:12:57,210 --> 00:13:00,407
Robby Krieger. I love the Doors.
191
00:13:01,250 --> 00:13:04,287
- Mark Lindsay, always a pleasure.
- Thank you.
192
00:13:04,490 --> 00:13:07,721
Peter Noone. Please come in.
193
00:13:07,930 --> 00:13:10,888
Hey, man. Groovy there. Right on.
194
00:13:14,010 --> 00:13:15,238
Peace, love...
195
00:13:15,450 --> 00:13:18,681
...and women shouldn't
have to cook, man.
196
00:13:18,890 --> 00:13:21,165
Dig it, I'm hip.
197
00:13:22,970 --> 00:13:25,882
Try to keep the groupies off me
if you can.
198
00:13:26,330 --> 00:13:29,003
Excuse me, excuse me.
199
00:13:29,210 --> 00:13:31,770
- Ticket, please.
- Well...
200
00:13:31,970 --> 00:13:36,407
...must've left it in the limo.
Rock 'n' roll always forgets.
201
00:13:37,170 --> 00:13:40,401
I'm sorry, sir, but I don't recognize you.
You'll need a ticket.
202
00:13:42,650 --> 00:13:44,766
Sebastian. John, my man.
203
00:13:44,970 --> 00:13:46,961
Come here.
204
00:13:47,170 --> 00:13:49,968
Hey, how you doing?
205
00:13:52,410 --> 00:13:54,560
How they hanging, fellow rock bro?
206
00:13:54,770 --> 00:13:58,763
Well, let's just say I can find them
when I need them.
207
00:14:01,650 --> 00:14:04,528
Axle. Axle Bundy.
208
00:14:07,290 --> 00:14:10,760
You know, from...
From Shoes and Socks, remember?
209
00:14:10,970 --> 00:14:13,006
San Francisco, 1969.
210
00:14:13,210 --> 00:14:17,249
I don't remember too much
about 1969.
211
00:14:17,450 --> 00:14:19,247
Who does?
212
00:14:22,770 --> 00:14:26,046
But seriously, you must remember me
from the big concert last year.
213
00:14:26,250 --> 00:14:28,081
Live Aid.
214
00:14:28,290 --> 00:14:30,246
Lemonade.
215
00:14:30,650 --> 00:14:33,323
Kool-Aid, Ice Capade.
One of those.
216
00:14:34,010 --> 00:14:35,568
Yeah, I remember.
217
00:14:36,290 --> 00:14:39,123
Peter, look who's here.
218
00:14:42,370 --> 00:14:44,042
Who's he?
219
00:14:44,490 --> 00:14:46,128
Axle Bundy?
220
00:14:46,330 --> 00:14:49,128
Oh, Axle, great. Hey, I'm a big fan.
221
00:14:49,330 --> 00:14:52,606
I've got one of your records.
You remember the one that sold.
222
00:14:52,810 --> 00:14:54,038
Have you still got...
223
00:14:54,250 --> 00:14:56,241
...that tambourine-playing wife
in your band?
224
00:14:56,450 --> 00:14:59,010
Still screeches
horrible backup vocals.
225
00:15:00,810 --> 00:15:03,370
Hey, you must be...
226
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,925
Just call me yours.
227
00:15:06,650 --> 00:15:10,006
Yeah, and we're Bombshell and Troll.
228
00:15:10,730 --> 00:15:12,880
Hey, fab. Hey, come on in.
229
00:15:13,090 --> 00:15:16,162
Unlimited peanuts for all in here.
230
00:15:21,370 --> 00:15:24,521
Hey, you got something on your tie...
231
00:15:37,130 --> 00:15:39,007
Sandwiches.
232
00:15:46,290 --> 00:15:48,440
Could you imagine living
like this all the time?
233
00:15:48,650 --> 00:15:51,323
No wonder Fergie's such a piglet.
234
00:15:53,130 --> 00:15:55,086
Could life be any grander?
235
00:15:55,290 --> 00:15:59,078
Who'd have thunk it?
Living it up with the geezers of rock.
236
00:15:59,730 --> 00:16:01,288
Speaking of geezers...
237
00:16:01,490 --> 00:16:03,481
...son, have you seen your mother?
238
00:16:03,690 --> 00:16:07,478
No, but if she's anywhere
on this stewardess, I'll find her.
239
00:16:09,210 --> 00:16:13,920
You are who I think of
when I have sex with my husband.
240
00:16:17,050 --> 00:16:22,124
You are who I think of
when I have sex with my husband.
241
00:16:25,450 --> 00:16:30,285
You are who I think of
when I have sex with my husband.
242
00:16:32,970 --> 00:16:35,006
You are who I think of when I...
243
00:16:38,090 --> 00:16:41,446
When I clean up the floor
around the toilet.
244
00:16:42,290 --> 00:16:44,326
Hey, Axle, come on
and join us over here.
245
00:16:44,530 --> 00:16:46,202
We're jamming.
246
00:16:46,410 --> 00:16:49,641
Yeah, come on, man.
It wouldn't be a jam without...
247
00:16:49,850 --> 00:16:51,806
Who is that guy?
248
00:16:52,010 --> 00:16:55,685
The name's Awful Grungy
or something.
249
00:16:56,450 --> 00:16:58,600
I don't... I don't know him.
250
00:16:58,810 --> 00:17:02,598
But I know that's Peggy,
and I believe we all remember her.
251
00:17:07,050 --> 00:17:09,325
I think I remember him.
252
00:17:09,530 --> 00:17:12,567
Didn't he use to be
the fifth Monkee?
253
00:17:12,970 --> 00:17:15,484
Hey, Ankle, we're waiting on you.
Come on.
254
00:17:15,690 --> 00:17:17,920
Come on, Daddy,
you never play at home.
255
00:17:18,130 --> 00:17:20,963
Oh, I don't know.
256
00:17:21,850 --> 00:17:23,920
- Hey, fellow rock bros.
- Hey.
257
00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:27,167
- I just had me a groupie.
- All right.
258
00:17:27,370 --> 00:17:28,769
Hey, why don't you jam with us.
259
00:17:30,810 --> 00:17:32,482
Come on, Al, for old time's sake.
260
00:18:08,890 --> 00:18:12,041
Hey, man, where'd you learn
to play pastrami like that?
261
00:18:12,250 --> 00:18:14,445
A little after-hours deli
on the South Side.
262
00:18:14,650 --> 00:18:18,245
Wild, man. You got cold cuts
in your blood, man.
263
00:18:18,450 --> 00:18:21,248
By the way, a little mustard
on your pants.
264
00:18:22,370 --> 00:18:25,442
Flight 107 to Tucson
now boarding Gate 4A.
265
00:18:25,650 --> 00:18:26,878
That's us. Let's go.
266
00:18:28,530 --> 00:18:29,758
Well.
267
00:18:29,970 --> 00:18:31,801
Come on, time to go.
268
00:18:32,010 --> 00:18:34,205
Say goodbye to first-class Axle...
269
00:18:34,410 --> 00:18:36,128
...and hello to standby Al.
270
00:18:38,850 --> 00:18:40,249
Hey, Axle.
271
00:18:40,450 --> 00:18:41,678
Where you going?
272
00:18:41,890 --> 00:18:43,403
Forgot my ticket.
273
00:18:43,610 --> 00:18:45,965
Ticket? You don't need a ticket.
Everybody knows you.
274
00:18:46,170 --> 00:18:48,764
Yeah, come on. We got
the whole first-class compartment...
275
00:18:48,970 --> 00:18:51,165
...all to ourselves.
And we're doing a benefit...
276
00:18:51,370 --> 00:18:53,679
...and we need all the big stars
we can get, Axle.
277
00:18:53,890 --> 00:18:56,450
Yeah, there aren't many
bigger stars than you...
278
00:18:56,650 --> 00:18:58,368
...Maxwell.
279
00:18:59,730 --> 00:19:04,246
Come on, we need your blue-eyed,
bad-wigged soul.
280
00:19:04,450 --> 00:19:05,769
Gee, why not, Al?
281
00:19:05,970 --> 00:19:08,006
It'd be just like singing
in the shower.
282
00:19:08,210 --> 00:19:09,563
If you sang.
283
00:19:09,770 --> 00:19:11,726
Or showered.
284
00:19:13,090 --> 00:19:14,318
Come on.
285
00:19:14,530 --> 00:19:15,758
Oh, all right. Let's go.
286
00:19:18,050 --> 00:19:20,245
Wait a second, wait a second.
287
00:19:24,730 --> 00:19:26,527
I need Lucille.
288
00:19:27,410 --> 00:19:30,208
- Take no prisoners.
- Peanuts!
289
00:19:32,210 --> 00:19:34,280
All right. And now, as promised...
290
00:19:34,490 --> 00:19:38,278
...the world premiere
of the superstar video...
291
00:19:38,490 --> 00:19:40,401
...for Old Aid.
292
00:19:47,290 --> 00:19:50,407
We are the old
293
00:19:50,610 --> 00:19:53,761
We've got arthritis
294
00:19:53,970 --> 00:19:57,087
- Our gums are weak
- So weak
295
00:19:57,290 --> 00:20:00,009
From gingivitis
296
00:20:02,330 --> 00:20:05,322
We are the old
297
00:20:05,530 --> 00:20:08,727
We've got arthritis
298
00:20:08,930 --> 00:20:14,960
We are the ones who wear bifocals
And have bursitis
299
00:20:16,490 --> 00:20:19,641
There are people younger
300
00:20:19,850 --> 00:20:22,842
But we heed another call
301
00:20:23,050 --> 00:20:26,326
We really need the money
302
00:20:26,530 --> 00:20:30,569
Our accountants took it all
303
00:20:30,770 --> 00:20:33,443
We sing to you
304
00:20:34,010 --> 00:20:37,082
Those who have money
305
00:20:37,290 --> 00:20:39,520
Once we was cool
306
00:20:39,730 --> 00:20:43,803
But now we just dress funny
307
00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:46,285
We need your help
308
00:20:46,490 --> 00:20:50,039
So please, please dig deep
309
00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:53,401
Don't call after 10
310
00:20:53,610 --> 00:20:57,569
'Cause we'll be asleep
311
00:20:57,770 --> 00:21:01,285
We have Medicare
312
00:21:01,490 --> 00:21:04,641
And anti-gas pills
313
00:21:04,850 --> 00:21:11,323
But without your help
We can't pay our alimony bills
314
00:21:11,530 --> 00:21:12,883
Take it, Axle.
315
00:21:25,850 --> 00:21:27,442
We are the old
316
00:21:27,650 --> 00:21:29,163
They are the old
317
00:21:29,370 --> 00:21:30,883
We have arthritis
318
00:21:31,090 --> 00:21:32,569
They have arthritis
319
00:21:32,770 --> 00:21:35,523
Once we were gods
320
00:21:35,730 --> 00:21:37,925
Now golf excites us
321
00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:39,688
Golf excites them.
322
00:21:39,890 --> 00:21:41,039
So write a check
323
00:21:41,250 --> 00:21:42,399
A really big one.
324
00:21:42,610 --> 00:21:45,602
For our December
325
00:21:45,810 --> 00:21:48,404
There's one more verse
326
00:21:48,610 --> 00:21:52,159
But we can't remember
327
00:22:01,650 --> 00:22:03,641
Sing this, Axle.
328
00:22:17,610 --> 00:22:19,885
One more time.
22724
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