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1
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Scalpel
2
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I cannot believe they let you in
medical school
3
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Neither can I
4
00:00:17,595 --> 00:00:18,467
Melon bowler
5
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MELON BOWLER
6
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:51,000
Pete, I gotta tell ya
7
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no, don't tell me now
I'm busy
8
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Busy ?
The cat's in the cradle, Pete
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before you know it I'll be all grown up
10
00:01:01,900 --> 00:01:04,967
Berg, my big presentation to the museum
board is tonight
11
00:01:04,967 --> 00:01:07,733
Now if they choose my design, it will actually
get built
12
00:01:07,733 --> 00:01:10,267
most architects, when they graduate, they
only have a bunch of blueprints
13
00:01:10,933 --> 00:01:14,833
I am going to have a 12,000 square foot résumé
14
00:01:16,833 --> 00:01:20,333
Man, you're gonna need one hell of a manila envelope !
15
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Alright !
What's in the box ?
16
00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:35,633
I think I found my calling with medicine
17
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ah, good for you
18
00:01:37,033 --> 00:01:39,400
you should've seen the girls watching
me buy this stuff
19
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med's school is all about love and toys
20
00:01:43,100 --> 00:01:45,800
Berg, as long as you're in it for the right reasons
21
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Socrates, meet guy with removable brain !
22
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Removable brain, meet Pete
23
00:01:56,733 --> 00:01:59,233
nice haircut !
24
00:01:59,233 --> 00:02:05,367
10:30 am taking six dose of Invactolab
experimental allergesic
25
00:02:06,367 --> 00:02:09,300
this time I'm hoping "milk" will improve the taste
26
00:02:21,100 --> 00:02:22,600
it doesn't
27
00:02:23,067 --> 00:02:24,433
don't you think it's time to stope these experiments !
28
00:02:25,533 --> 00:02:29,000
Hey ! Accessories don't come cheap
unless you forget, I'm a doctor
29
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:30,100
You're not a doctor
30
00:02:31,167 --> 00:02:34,267
then how come I have one of these ?
31
00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:37,367
Why do you need a beeper ?
32
00:02:37,533 --> 00:02:39,667
Image Pete, it's so important
33
00:02:39,733 --> 00:02:42,967
ok Berg, I have a whole stack of mill cards
to go over before tonight, so ...
34
00:02:43,767 --> 00:02:48,067
you know ! The brain is like a gas tank
when it's full, it's full
35
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:54,633
you know this stuff
speak from passion, not, from cards
36
00:02:57,300 --> 00:02:59,167
what the hell is the matter with you ?
37
00:03:01,233 --> 00:03:02,800
Trust me, I'm your doctor
38
00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:04,200
YOU'RE NOT A DOCTOR
39
00:03:09,033 --> 00:03:14,233
ok, Berg, look
I'm not an architecture for the beeper and the babes, ok ?
40
00:03:14,633 --> 00:03:17,367
You and this, this med school is gonna last for what ?
Six weeks !
41
00:03:18,300 --> 00:03:22,067
Then you're gonna go on to forestry because
you think you look good in green !
42
00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:24,600
I do !
43
00:03:27,218 --> 00:03:29,908
Berg look, you're not fooling anyone
44
00:03:30,014 --> 00:03:33,426
you're having a hard time accepting the fact that
there're a new kid in town
45
00:03:34,397 --> 00:03:38,700
a dedicated kid, a kid named "Doctor Bergin"
46
00:03:39,709 --> 00:03:42,834
well, I guess you're gonna have to get used to it buddy
cause he's here to stay !
47
00:03:48,813 --> 00:03:51,276
I really had no place to go !
48
00:03:57,252 --> 00:04:05,868
Watch, as I make the incision being carefull not to tear the
interstitial fiber or in this case the canadian bacon !
49
00:04:07,033 --> 00:04:08,998
I couldn't be more proud
50
00:04:09,361 --> 00:04:10,383
spatula
51
00:04:10,999 --> 00:04:13,789
Dr. Berg to table 4, stat !
52
00:04:15,302 --> 00:04:18,220
Damn it Pete, I'm a doctor not a waiter
53
00:04:21,983 --> 00:04:27,478
you know, El and I always dreamed to have a son who becomes a doctor
54
00:04:29,069 --> 00:04:31,846
Bill !
What about an architect ?
55
00:04:32,206 --> 00:04:36,911
Well, I've already got a building
I need free medical
56
00:04:45,105 --> 00:04:47,873
ok, yeah, see ya then
57
00:04:48,283 --> 00:04:49,839
who's that ?
58
00:04:50,118 --> 00:04:52,527
My boss
you wanna join us ?
59
00:04:53,241 --> 00:04:55,556
No, I can't Sharon, I have my big presentation tonight
60
00:04:56,012 --> 00:04:57,973
oh yeah, that's great, you're gonna do great
61
00:04:57,973 --> 00:04:59,662
oh, you think ?
62
00:04:59,662 --> 00:05:02,663
I donno
I've got my own mess to deal with
63
00:05:02,955 --> 00:05:07,572
My company is manufacturing this new pesticide
we claim it kills bugs faster
64
00:05:07,875 --> 00:05:11,077
but the research shows that it takes the same
amount of time for them to die !
65
00:05:11,669 --> 00:05:15,998
My boss wants ME to detroy the evidence
is that wrong ?
66
00:05:16,013 --> 00:05:18,172
Who cares as long as they're dead !
67
00:05:18,849 --> 00:05:21,412
What are you gonna crusade to end bug suffering ?
68
00:05:22,576 --> 00:05:28,639
You know Sharon, I learnd in my PCM class
that's, ah, Preparation for Clinical Medicine
69
00:05:29,624 --> 00:05:34,220
that full disclosure is the foundation of a
strong patient-doctor relationship
70
00:05:34,220 --> 00:05:38,653
now, I believe the same holds true in business
you have an ethical duty to tell the truth
71
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:45,388
Sharon, you work for a chemical company
you have no ethics
72
00:05:48,569 --> 00:05:49,958
Berg's right, I'm blowing the whistle
73
00:05:49,958 --> 00:05:51,672
wait, wait, you're not gonna actually listen to him
74
00:05:51,672 --> 00:05:52,684
well !
75
00:05:52,684 --> 00:05:57,474
Wait wait, this is Berg, the same guy who wanted to put
a bat hole between our appartments !
76
00:05:58,924 --> 00:06:00,463
Yeah
but now he's a doctor
77
00:06:05,551 --> 00:06:08,645
trying the powder with root beer
78
00:06:30,729 --> 00:06:36,096
Sorry, oh God I have this terrible caugh
it started at my head and now it's moving to my chest
79
00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:37,152
you should go see a doctor
80
00:06:37,618 --> 00:06:39,250
somebody say "doctor" ?
81
00:06:39,515 --> 00:06:40,755
I don't think so ...
82
00:06:41,890 --> 00:06:45,173
This thing does not give you a license
to grope my girlfriend
83
00:06:45,508 --> 00:06:50,953
Peter, I am shocked
I'm in the profession of healing mister !
84
00:06:51,234 --> 00:06:53,027
This is my job
85
00:06:54,992 --> 00:06:55,813
now Melissa
86
00:06:56,811 --> 00:06:58,999
if would kindly disrobe down to your socks !
No
87
00:07:06,944 --> 00:07:08,773
Berg, is this milk bad ?
88
00:07:09,194 --> 00:07:12,551
Hey, like, like I don't know if mild is bad ?
Ok
89
00:07:16,458 --> 00:07:17,753
smells good to me
90
00:07:22,209 --> 00:07:25,374
am I the only one that knows what's going on here ?
91
00:07:25,805 --> 00:07:28,311
You are not alone my friend !
92
00:07:29,766 --> 00:07:33,505
I was once the favorite
everyone looked up to me
93
00:07:38,614 --> 00:07:45,374
showing off all of his fancy gadgets to all my friends
I was just a pull-string cowboy, how could I compete ?
94
00:07:54,375 --> 00:07:56,487
To infinity and beyond my ass
95
00:07:59,244 --> 00:08:01,118
ok, I gotta get outta here, Bill
96
00:08:01,186 --> 00:08:02,580
you think I can get the afternoon off ?
97
00:08:03,133 --> 00:08:06,760
Actually Bill, I could really use the afternoon off myself !
98
00:08:07,002 --> 00:08:09,047
What're you doing ?
I have to practice my presentation
99
00:08:09,732 --> 00:08:11,461
I'm helping you, remember ?
100
00:08:12,259 --> 00:08:17,117
Your tank over fills, all of a sudden knowledge is spilling out
all over the place
101
00:08:17,257 --> 00:08:19,002
well, I need one of you !
102
00:08:19,901 --> 00:08:25,697
Alright look, Bill, my big presentation is tonight
I just need a few more hours to practice
103
00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:28,904
I'm telling you
if I get this...
104
00:08:29,702 --> 00:08:33,464
look, this one moment could decide my entire future
105
00:08:35,713 --> 00:08:36,406
I have a quiz
106
00:08:36,406 --> 00:08:37,824
Ok Berg, see you tomorrow
107
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:46,366
late, late, I'm late
108
00:08:49,149 --> 00:08:52,173
what're doing ?
I thought you were studying !
109
00:08:52,453 --> 00:08:52,664
I am
110
00:08:52,924 --> 00:08:55,645
you're watching "general hospital" !
111
00:08:56,997 --> 00:09:00,423
I'm studying "general hopital"
I'm trying to get the walk down
112
00:09:01,659 --> 00:09:06,948
check out how Dr. Scanlen moves
in slow, confident steps
113
00:09:15,519 --> 00:09:18,252
he lets the beeper show under his lab coat
114
00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:21,292
notice the head tilt
115
00:09:22,340 --> 00:09:26,068
Felica, a drink after surgery ?
116
00:09:26,884 --> 00:09:29,942
See right there, that's stuff you can't learn from a book
117
00:09:29,942 --> 00:09:34,240
I can't believe
I had to cover for you, and you're up here screwing around
118
00:09:34,761 --> 00:09:37,370
I already finish studying for my exam
you wanna know why ?
119
00:09:37,370 --> 00:09:38,395
Don't say your brain is full
120
00:09:38,395 --> 00:09:40,307
my brain, is full
121
00:09:41,678 --> 00:09:49,040
Berg, look, you can't just walk throught medical school all fancy bree
It takes dedication and commitment to become a doctor
122
00:09:49,434 --> 00:09:52,165
I'm sorry, I.. I thought you just said "fancy free" !
123
00:09:52,165 --> 00:09:54,431
You know what, you're hopeless
124
00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:06,107
you know Pete, a tip from your doctor
eating quickly, bad for the digestion
125
00:10:06,107 --> 00:10:08,637
well, lucky for me
you're not a doctor
126
00:10:11,181 --> 00:10:13,633
Pete, help me help you
127
00:10:13,633 --> 00:10:21,600
Berg, look, I'm beyond help, ok ?
I'm gonna go into that presentation and crash like the hindenburg
128
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:25,087
wow wow wow wow
just relax for a sec
129
00:10:25,686 --> 00:10:28,246
take a deep breath
you always say how your stuff didnt do any good
130
00:10:28,246 --> 00:10:31,962
and how its a complete disaster
but it always turns out great
131
00:10:32,687 --> 00:10:38,382
so tonight, I need you to go in there
and show those people what I already know
132
00:10:38,650 --> 00:10:41,568
hey, that you ...
133
00:10:42,366 --> 00:10:44,344
rock
134
00:10:46,438 --> 00:10:47,349
I rock ?
135
00:10:50,495 --> 00:10:51,301
Thanks Berg
136
00:10:51,301 --> 00:10:55,164
thanks nothing
now go getem you psychopath
137
00:10:56,973 --> 00:11:03,286
5:45 Ive found that the orange juice makes
the alergys powder more palabel
138
00:11:10,592 --> 00:11:12,224
PETE
139
00:11:16,318 --> 00:11:25,415
5:46 my roomate has just injested 400 times
the daily dosage in just under 20 seconds
140
00:11:27,066 --> 00:11:28,954
this will most likely be fatal
141
00:11:30,817 --> 00:11:32,345
for me !
142
00:11:35,956 --> 00:11:42,139
Listen, I might, have, poisoned my friend
and, I need to know the side effects
143
00:11:42,698 --> 00:11:46,327
its a medical emergency
no, dont put me on hold, dont put me on ...
144
00:11:47,001 --> 00:11:54,895
and away, my beautiful, my beautiful
145
00:11:55,109 --> 00:11:57,877
baloon
146
00:11:59,221 --> 00:12:03,297
so, Im at our monthly coord meeting
and the CEO is at the head of the table
147
00:12:03,752 --> 00:12:10,000
I stand up and I tell them that I have proof that their bugs
die in six seconds just like they always have !
148
00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:12,446
Room go silent
149
00:12:12,446 --> 00:12:19,790
then the CEO stands up, and you know what he says
3 seconds, 6 seconds, who cares, theyre bugs
150
00:12:20,854 --> 00:12:22,293
everyone, laughed at me
151
00:12:22,293 --> 00:12:28,331
so I just came over to thank you for personally guiding me
into the most humiliating moment of my life !
152
00:12:28,331 --> 00:12:31,091
Hold that thought, I may have poisoned Pete !
153
00:12:32,927 --> 00:12:38,032
Yeah, go ahead, so possible side-effects are ...
sweating, stammering and ...
154
00:12:38,628 --> 00:12:39,916
Im sorry !?
155
00:12:40,290 --> 00:12:41,953
He may become delusional
156
00:12:42,661 --> 00:12:46,597
well, what the hell kind of side-effect is delusional ?
157
00:12:47,862 --> 00:12:50,762
Havent you people ever heard of diarrhea ?
158
00:12:52,694 --> 00:12:54,388
You poisoned Pete ?
159
00:12:54,388 --> 00:12:57,149
And he just left to go do his big presentation
160
00:12:57,487 --> 00:12:59,079
ah, that is so unfair
161
00:12:59,079 --> 00:12:59,932
I know
162
00:12:59,932 --> 00:13:03,788
on the one day I could really hate you, Pete steals my thunder !
163
00:13:03,788 --> 00:13:05,815
Dont be mad at Pete
164
00:13:09,794 --> 00:13:10,760
well said
165
00:13:14,213 --> 00:13:17,102
huh, top that, zero
166
00:13:19,606 --> 00:13:21,254
do I know you ?
167
00:13:23,024 --> 00:13:23,938
Peter Dunville
168
00:13:23,938 --> 00:13:24,698
here
169
00:13:24,698 --> 00:13:25,426
youre next
170
00:13:25,426 --> 00:13:26,026
ok
171
00:13:27,442 --> 00:13:28,595
youre welcome
172
00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:31,415
I, I mean, uh, thanks
173
00:13:34,223 --> 00:13:35,487
I, I mean thanks for welcoming me
174
00:13:36,231 --> 00:13:37,935
- youre welcome
- thanks
175
00:13:41,943 --> 00:13:45,240
oh, thank God
at least he got here
176
00:13:45,584 --> 00:13:46,427
we have to stopm
177
00:13:46,427 --> 00:13:50,571
no, come on, calm down
they said they were only possible side-effects
178
00:13:53,642 --> 00:13:55,546
psssst, Pete
179
00:14:00,723 --> 00:14:02,449
would you excuse me for just a moment ?
180
00:14:02,449 --> 00:14:06,321
Yes of course
I live to wait
181
00:14:09,022 --> 00:14:10,203
what are you guys doing here ?
182
00:14:10,541 --> 00:14:12,834
Well, I, I, I thought we come down to observe you
183
00:14:13,201 --> 00:14:15,187
he means lend our support
184
00:14:16,125 --> 00:14:20,269
Mr. Dunville
before my bones turn to dust !
185
00:14:30,987 --> 00:14:35,852
Ladies, g.. Gentelmen
distingushed museum trusties
186
00:14:36,174 --> 00:14:37,141
in reviewing ...
187
00:14:39,814 --> 00:14:41,774
Im sor..., is it hot in here ?
188
00:14:41,774 --> 00:14:42,886
No
189
00:14:44,695 --> 00:14:48,572
oh God, hes sweating
what, what kinda doctor am I ?
190
00:14:48,572 --> 00:14:50,356
Hes pete, he sweats
191
00:14:50,806 --> 00:14:53,034
and youre NOT a doctor
192
00:14:53,594 --> 00:14:56,182
- where was I ?
- At the begining
193
00:14:58,092 --> 00:15:05,156
now, my.. My.. My intent was to accent the axile design
with more modern mills .. More modern memelist ..
194
00:15:05,184 --> 00:15:05,926
Sorry
195
00:15:06,669 --> 00:15:08,500
ah.. A more medelist
196
00:15:09,668 --> 00:15:11,138
just new and simple
197
00:15:12,521 --> 00:15:14,135
- stammering
- nervous
198
00:15:14,135 --> 00:15:16,376
well, he should have prepared more
199
00:15:17,503 --> 00:15:21,272
now the.. The.. The.. Front of the building ...
Im sorry
200
00:15:29,126 --> 00:15:39,119
ok, I see.. I see.. Huge crazy shapes, alright
a.. A.. And a giant Jake in the box
201
00:15:39,119 --> 00:15:40,205
Jake in the box ?
202
00:15:40,796 --> 00:15:45,866
Yeah, yeah, a giant Jake in the box
th.. Th.. Thatll pop up and greet the visitors
203
00:15:46,217 --> 00:15:50,313
a..a.. Its coned head, swing two storied high
204
00:15:52,469 --> 00:15:54,736
and oh, itll say something like, like ...
205
00:15:55,112 --> 00:15:58,506
hoa hoa hoa, hello boys and girls
206
00:15:58,506 --> 00:16:01,705
oh great, hes delusional
ok, take him down
207
00:16:02,364 --> 00:16:05,278
okay, thats it, enough
208
00:16:05,278 --> 00:16:05,989
whatre doing ?
209
00:16:06,197 --> 00:16:08,070
- Im saving you
- no, youre really not
210
00:16:08,291 --> 00:16:10,889
- yes, I am
- excuse me !
211
00:16:10,889 --> 00:16:14,777
Im sorry
Im this mans doctor
212
00:16:16,393 --> 00:16:19,929
youre not a doctor
hes not a doctor
213
00:16:20,354 --> 00:16:25,788
Mr. Dunville has accidently injested a medication which is causing
the delusional behavior youre witnessing
214
00:16:26,108 --> 00:16:31,212
I dont even know this guy !
But, with the exitment that the Jake in the box is causing, its infectious
215
00:16:31,695 --> 00:16:35,856
Pete, believe me, every second counts
you drank my alergezik medication
216
00:16:35,856 --> 00:16:38,407
youre sweating, youre stammering, youre delusional !
217
00:16:38,407 --> 00:16:40,683
You dont know what youre talking about Berg
Im just a little nervous
218
00:16:41,099 --> 00:16:49,929
oh yeah ?
Then what kind of museum has a huge jack in the box ?
219
00:16:51,041 --> 00:16:56,986
And stupid voices goin hello boys and girls?
220
00:16:58,710 --> 00:17:00,886
A childrens museum ?!
221
00:17:02,870 --> 00:17:04,347
What ?
222
00:17:05,507 --> 00:17:08,485
This is for a, childrens museum, Berg
223
00:17:09,150 --> 00:17:10,061
oh
224
00:17:12,679 --> 00:17:14,438
but, but, you drank the orange juice
225
00:17:14,438 --> 00:17:19,888
I hate the orange juice, Berg I drank the grape fruit juice
so who drank the orange juice ?
226
00:17:25,073 --> 00:17:26,630
- Oh
- Oh
227
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:31,400
so, Im the one whos delusional !?
228
00:17:32,023 --> 00:17:34,584
Thank God, I thought it was me
229
00:17:35,884 --> 00:17:40,875
well, doctors
this explains a great deal
230
00:17:41,401 --> 00:17:45,792
it turns out that I injested my own mededation
231
00:17:47,377 --> 00:17:49,562
medication
232
00:17:51,476 --> 00:17:54,908
Pete, what are you doing here ?
233
00:17:56,116 --> 00:18:00,724
Sharon, hes ruining my presentation
hes ruining my presentation
234
00:18:00,724 --> 00:18:03,226
yes, were all aware of that
235
00:18:04,537 --> 00:18:05,457
well be going
236
00:18:05,457 --> 00:18:08,843
are you sure you dont want to spin plates as a finale ?
237
00:18:10,388 --> 00:18:15,804
- Listen pal, Ive had a really bad day
- join the club
238
00:18:16,697 --> 00:18:19,273
hey, you wanna piece of me, huh ?
239
00:18:32,564 --> 00:18:42,841
Captains log, stardate, 6-4-4-1 the Klingons have surrounded
us in our attempt to abord the enterprise
240
00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:46,303
Kirk out
241
00:18:49,095 --> 00:18:53,428
Mr. Sulu, take us to worp factor
242
00:18:53,892 --> 00:18:54,989
nice dress
243
00:18:56,151 --> 00:18:58,218
BERG
244
00:18:58,218 --> 00:18:59,222
Klingons
bones
245
00:18:59,222 --> 00:19:00,846
idiot
246
00:19:01,928 --> 00:19:05,151
Berg, get out here, right now
247
00:19:06,083 --> 00:19:09,576
Scotty, beam me up, now !
248
00:19:12,691 --> 00:19:15,970
Wait here
Ill send help
249
00:19:20,889 --> 00:19:23,560
youre doing great Pete
250
00:19:32,561 --> 00:19:36,585
ok, now that I got your attention
251
00:19:41,595 --> 00:19:47,554
- I screwed up big time
- finally, an accurate diagnosis
252
00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:50,185
look, maybe this doctor thing isnt such a good idea
253
00:19:51,330 --> 00:19:55,731
what responsible physician leaves unmarked
medicine in the refrigerator !
254
00:19:55,731 --> 00:19:59,507
Berg, youre not a physician, youre a med student
give yourself a break
255
00:19:59,507 --> 00:20:05,554
no, no, see, you said it yourself
it takes dedication and commitment
256
00:20:05,554 --> 00:20:11,675
alright, listen to me, Berg, this is the first time in your life that youre
doing something where you dont know all the answers
257
00:20:12,203 --> 00:20:17,324
this is great, youre scared, and youre scared because
you might finally care about something
258
00:20:18,521 --> 00:20:22,340
- why do I screw up ?
- Because youre Berg
259
00:20:22,813 --> 00:20:25,779
besides you cant quit now
260
00:20:26,625 --> 00:20:28,633
you already paid for the beeper
261
00:20:30,474 --> 00:20:32,306
I also got the walk down
262
00:20:32,306 --> 00:20:37,481
you know I hear thats the hardest part
youll be a good surgent
263
00:20:38,647 --> 00:20:43,087
- youll rock
- thanks
264
00:20:43,513 --> 00:20:48,994
listen, when youre a big famous surgent, look me up
Ill be the guy in Rino designing the trailer parks
265
00:20:51,448 --> 00:20:56,970
that reminds me, Mr. Sulu called last night
you got the job
266
00:20:57,192 --> 00:20:59,054
I got the job
how could that be ?
267
00:20:59,054 --> 00:20:59,687
Right here
268
00:21:00,899 --> 00:21:04,650
loved your design, hate your friends
269
00:21:06,401 --> 00:21:08,541
how come you didnt tell me they called last night ?
270
00:21:08,857 --> 00:21:11,799
Well last night I was too busy arguing with the sofa
271
00:21:13,845 --> 00:21:18,229
oh my God
Ive got a big meeting at three
272
00:21:18,229 --> 00:21:21,228
three ! Berg, its ten to it
you better get moving
273
00:21:23,108 --> 00:21:26,786
no, you have a big meeting at three
274
00:21:29,189 --> 00:21:33,924
downtown ! Berg, whats the matter with you ?
How could you not tell a person ?
275
00:21:34,348 --> 00:21:38,186
Hey, dont blame me because you dont have a beeper
276
00:21:43,215 --> 00:21:52,668
Bones, talk to me Bones, you've got to say something,
we've shared so much, its me Jim, your comrade, your...
277
00:21:53,301 --> 00:22:01,293
captain, your friend, we've got to talk about this
show some backbone man!
21680
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