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ANNOUNCER:
In the last episode of Soap,
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00:00:04,571 --> 00:00:06,071
Chester told Jessica
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00:00:06,072 --> 00:00:07,573
he fools around with other women
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00:00:07,574 --> 00:00:09,074
because he's sickand needs help.
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00:00:09,075 --> 00:00:11,076
Mary convinced Jodieto move back home,
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00:00:11,077 --> 00:00:12,077
and that way,
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00:00:12,078 --> 00:00:13,579
he could get help with the baby.
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00:00:13,580 --> 00:00:15,581
Danny met a girl named Pollyat the cemetery
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00:00:15,582 --> 00:00:17,583
who might help himget over Elaine.
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00:00:17,584 --> 00:00:19,084
And Burt,who has trouble sleeping,
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00:00:19,085 --> 00:00:21,086
went to the doctorfor a physical,
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00:00:21,087 --> 00:00:22,087
hoping that might help.
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Confused?
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00:00:23,590 --> 00:00:26,593
You won't beafter this episode of... Soap.
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00:00:31,097 --> 00:00:33,599
This is the storyof two sisters,
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Jessica Tate...
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and Mary Campbell.
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These are the Tates...
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00:00:41,608 --> 00:00:45,611
and these are the Campbells...
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00:00:45,612 --> 00:00:49,115
and this is... Soap.
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Okay, listen,
I think you should take
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the bottom drawers
in the bureau,
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because you're shorter,
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and I'll take
the back of the closet,
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because my arms are longer.
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Are you sure it's all right?
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Well, there's not much
I can do about it now.
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00:01:31,157 --> 00:01:33,158
Must be from all those chin-ups.
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00:01:33,159 --> 00:01:34,159
No, no, Danny,
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00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:36,161
I mean about
moving in here with you.
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I mean, after all,
this is your room.
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00:01:37,664 --> 00:01:39,164
Are you kidding me?
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My little brother
is moving back home.
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I wouldn't have it
any other way.
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I can't believe I'm back.
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00:01:45,171 --> 00:01:47,172
It took me all those years
to move out,
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00:01:47,173 --> 00:01:48,674
but it will make life
a little easier.
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00:01:48,675 --> 00:01:51,176
I can go back to work,
and I'll know Wendy's okay.
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00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:52,177
Hey, listen, uh,
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you want the, uh, lumpy mattress
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or the springy mattress?
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Springy, if it's okay.
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It's cool. I like lumpy.
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Makes me feel
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00:02:00,687 --> 00:02:02,689
like there's someone
in here with me.
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00:02:05,191 --> 00:02:07,693
You know, I remember
when we shared a bedroom as kids
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in the old house.
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Yeah.
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00:02:10,697 --> 00:02:14,199
You told me my first dirty joke.
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Yeah, and you didn't get it.
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You were so innocent.
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I was 4.
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00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:25,711
Hey, listen,
I got a surprise for you.
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00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:28,715
This is a real blast
from the past.
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Ta-dah!
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The hoop.
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Our old basketball hoop.
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Wow, you saved it
all these years. Yep.
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00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:38,223
All right,
a little one-on-one.
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00:02:38,224 --> 00:02:40,225
Okay.
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00:02:40,226 --> 00:02:42,728
Two from the floor.
Three from the beds.
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00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:43,729
Okay. Turn off the TV.
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00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:44,730
All right.
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00:02:44,731 --> 00:02:46,231
Aah!
Whoa!
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Well, look at this.
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00:02:48,234 --> 00:02:50,235
It's a meeting of the minds.
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00:02:50,236 --> 00:02:52,738
Einstein and Dr. Freud.
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00:02:52,739 --> 00:02:55,240
Stee-rike!
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Hey, did you hear?
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00:02:56,242 --> 00:02:57,242
Jodie's moving back in.
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Did I hear?
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My room is being
transformed into a nursery.
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00:03:01,247 --> 00:03:02,748
Did I hear, he says.
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00:03:02,749 --> 00:03:04,249
Oh, see, the nursery's
for the baby, Bob.
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00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:06,251
See, Jodie's moving back home,
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00:03:06,252 --> 00:03:07,753
and he's bringing
his baby with him,
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and the baby is gonna sleep
in the nursery.
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00:03:10,256 --> 00:03:11,757
Look, let me explain it to you.
The baby...
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Hey, hey.
I got it. I got it.
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00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:16,762
God, it's like
talking to a brick.
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00:03:16,763 --> 00:03:18,764
Jodie and Danny are
going to share a room,
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00:03:18,765 --> 00:03:21,266
so you and I are going to have
to share our room again.
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Hi.
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00:03:23,269 --> 00:03:26,271
Mary, can I please
sleep with the baby?
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I love that baby,
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and I've always loved that baby,
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and even more important,
I really hate Chuck.
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That's the arrangement.
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00:03:35,782 --> 00:03:37,282
Take it or leave it.
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00:03:37,283 --> 00:03:38,283
Hey, Mare, where is everybody?
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00:03:38,284 --> 00:03:40,285
Jodie, come on over here.
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00:03:40,286 --> 00:03:41,787
Oh, look at this, look at that.
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00:03:41,788 --> 00:03:43,288
Is this great?
All the kids here.
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Ah, my three sons.
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00:03:45,291 --> 00:03:46,291
I feel like Fred MacMurray.
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00:03:46,292 --> 00:03:47,292
Come on.
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We're going to go out tonight.
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We'll do something special.
Come on, what do you want to do?
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00:03:51,297 --> 00:03:52,798
The whole family goes.
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00:03:52,799 --> 00:03:54,299
We'll go bowling,
we'll shoot a little pool.
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00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:55,300
Jodie, it's your night.
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00:03:55,301 --> 00:03:56,301
Whatever you want.
Name it.
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00:03:56,302 --> 00:03:58,303
I want to go apartment hunting.
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00:03:58,304 --> 00:03:59,805
Bob...
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00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:01,306
Would you just calm down?
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00:04:01,307 --> 00:04:02,808
No, no, no.
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00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:03,809
That's the way I want it.
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00:04:03,810 --> 00:04:05,310
I'll move.
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00:04:05,311 --> 00:04:06,812
I'll live alone.
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And if I get murdered
in my sleep,
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it's on your head.
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00:04:11,818 --> 00:04:12,818
That's ridiculous.
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00:04:12,819 --> 00:04:14,319
It sure is.
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00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:15,821
How could you possibly
get your own place?
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00:04:15,822 --> 00:04:17,322
Huh?
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00:04:17,323 --> 00:04:19,825
You have to stand on a chair
to open a door.
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00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:22,828
Oh, Jodie.
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00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:24,329
Jodie, Jodie, Jodie.
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00:04:24,330 --> 00:04:25,831
Aw, Ma.
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00:04:25,832 --> 00:04:27,833
I'm going to make your
favorite meal tonight,
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00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:29,334
just for you, in honor
of your homecoming.
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00:04:29,335 --> 00:04:30,335
Thanks, Ma.
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00:04:30,336 --> 00:04:31,837
Hey Jodie,
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00:04:31,838 --> 00:04:33,338
the Knicks are playing
at the Garden tonight.
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00:04:33,339 --> 00:04:34,339
These are center court.
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00:04:34,340 --> 00:04:35,841
I really had to pull strings.
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00:04:35,842 --> 00:04:37,342
Whoa, wait a minute,
wait a minute.
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00:04:37,343 --> 00:04:38,844
I was going to
take him bowling here.
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00:04:38,845 --> 00:04:40,345
All of us, I reserved an alley.
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00:04:40,346 --> 00:04:41,847
I was gonna cook
something special
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00:04:41,848 --> 00:04:42,848
and drive us all
to Coney Island,
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00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:44,349
just like when you were little.
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00:04:44,350 --> 00:04:46,351
Coney Island?
Uh, what were you going to cook?
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00:04:46,352 --> 00:04:48,353
This alley's free, guys.
Huh? It's our alley.
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00:04:48,354 --> 00:04:49,855
Burt, the Knicks
are playing the Lakers.
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00:04:49,856 --> 00:04:51,857
So, they are.
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00:04:51,858 --> 00:04:52,858
Lasagna.
Lasagna?
138
00:04:52,859 --> 00:04:53,859
What time is the game?
139
00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:55,360
We can go on the Cyclone.
140
00:04:55,361 --> 00:04:56,862
You used to love the Cyclone.
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00:04:56,863 --> 00:04:58,363
The Cyclone?
142
00:04:58,364 --> 00:04:59,865
Hey, Dan, you got
an extra ticket?
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00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:01,366
Frozen custard.
144
00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:03,368
Nathan's Famous Hot Dogs.
145
00:05:03,369 --> 00:05:05,370
Of course, it's entirely
up to you, Jodie.
146
00:05:05,371 --> 00:05:07,372
Nathan's Famous Hot Dogs?
147
00:05:07,373 --> 00:05:09,374
And frozen custard.
148
00:05:09,375 --> 00:05:11,376
I love the Cyclone.
149
00:05:11,377 --> 00:05:12,377
What time is the game?
Danny, please.
150
00:05:12,378 --> 00:05:13,378
JODIE:
Hold it, hold it.
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00:05:13,379 --> 00:05:14,880
Listen, everybody.
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00:05:14,881 --> 00:05:16,882
I really appreciate this,
and it all sounds great,
153
00:05:16,883 --> 00:05:18,884
but what do you say
we all stay home together?
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00:05:18,885 --> 00:05:20,385
I mean, the whole family,
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00:05:20,386 --> 00:05:22,387
and we can eat some lasagna
and play with Wendy.
156
00:05:22,388 --> 00:05:23,388
What do you say?
157
00:05:23,389 --> 00:05:24,389
That's cool.
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00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:26,392
Yeah, sure, if that's
what you call fun.
159
00:05:30,396 --> 00:05:32,397
And... And then we can
have a nice chat, huh?
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00:05:32,398 --> 00:05:34,900
I'd love nothing more.
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00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:35,901
Sure.
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00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:37,402
Hey, you got an extra ticket?
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00:05:37,403 --> 00:05:39,905
So, we're not going
to Coney Island, is that it?
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00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:41,406
You mean you still want to go?
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00:05:41,407 --> 00:05:42,908
Okay, Dan, what time
is that game?
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00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:44,409
Because if you'd like to go,
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00:05:44,410 --> 00:05:45,410
we could go.
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00:05:45,411 --> 00:05:46,411
I'd love to go.
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00:05:46,412 --> 00:05:47,412
I'd love to go to the game.
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00:05:47,413 --> 00:05:48,413
Well, you know,
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00:05:48,414 --> 00:05:50,415
just long enough
to chow down a dog,
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00:05:50,416 --> 00:05:52,417
take a spin on the Cyclone,
a little frozen custard.
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00:05:52,418 --> 00:05:53,418
Let me have those here.
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00:05:53,419 --> 00:05:54,419
Take it.
Thank you very much.
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00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:55,921
Hey. Welcome home, Jodie.
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00:05:55,922 --> 00:05:56,922
Chuck, Bob, get your coat.
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00:05:56,923 --> 00:05:58,424
All right!
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00:06:00,426 --> 00:06:01,426
We won't be long, Jodie.
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00:06:01,427 --> 00:06:02,427
I'll wait up.
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00:06:02,428 --> 00:06:03,428
Don't bother.
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00:06:03,429 --> 00:06:04,429
Put the lasagna in the oven
182
00:06:04,430 --> 00:06:06,431
for an hour at 350 degrees.
183
00:06:06,432 --> 00:06:08,433
It's so wonderful
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00:06:08,434 --> 00:06:09,935
having my family together again.
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00:06:17,443 --> 00:06:18,944
Yes.
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00:06:26,953 --> 00:06:28,453
Daddy should be here any moment.
187
00:06:28,454 --> 00:06:30,456
Just make yourselves
comfortable.
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00:06:32,959 --> 00:06:35,961
You know, Chester,
I feel kind of funny
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00:06:35,962 --> 00:06:37,963
discussing our marital problems
190
00:06:37,964 --> 00:06:39,464
with a minister.
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00:06:39,465 --> 00:06:40,465
I feel funny
192
00:06:40,466 --> 00:06:41,466
discussing it with anybody.
193
00:06:41,467 --> 00:06:42,467
Of course,
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00:06:42,468 --> 00:06:44,469
it would be worse
if it were a priest.
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00:06:44,470 --> 00:06:46,972
Well, it would be
like discussing a film
196
00:06:46,973 --> 00:06:48,975
with a blind man.
197
00:06:51,818 --> 00:06:52,978
A rabbi would have been nice.
198
00:06:52,979 --> 00:06:55,480
They seem very wise.
199
00:06:55,481 --> 00:06:57,983
But I suppose
you have to be Jewish.
200
00:06:57,984 --> 00:06:59,484
I wonder which religion
201
00:06:59,485 --> 00:07:01,987
does the biggest business
in this sort of thing.
202
00:07:02,989 --> 00:07:05,490
Ah, sorry I'm late.
203
00:07:05,491 --> 00:07:07,493
Got stuck at a death.
204
00:07:10,496 --> 00:07:11,496
I beg your pardon?
205
00:07:11,497 --> 00:07:12,497
Funeral.
206
00:07:12,498 --> 00:07:13,498
Just did a funeral.
207
00:07:13,499 --> 00:07:15,500
Poor guy got killed
roller-skating.
208
00:07:15,501 --> 00:07:17,002
Oh.
209
00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:18,503
He fell?
210
00:07:18,504 --> 00:07:19,504
Drowned.
211
00:07:19,505 --> 00:07:21,006
Was skating in the park,
couldn't stop,
212
00:07:21,007 --> 00:07:22,507
skated into the lake,
couldn't swim,
213
00:07:22,508 --> 00:07:23,509
that was that.
214
00:07:26,012 --> 00:07:29,514
Left a wife, two kids,
and a Porsche with no problems.
215
00:07:29,515 --> 00:07:31,516
But...
216
00:07:31,517 --> 00:07:32,517
on to happier things.
217
00:07:32,518 --> 00:07:33,518
You are the Tates,
218
00:07:33,519 --> 00:07:35,020
and you are here because...?
219
00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:39,524
Go ahead, Chester.
220
00:07:39,525 --> 00:07:41,026
Oh, no, Jess, you can go first.
221
00:07:41,027 --> 00:07:42,527
No, you tell it better.
222
00:07:42,528 --> 00:07:43,529
Well...
223
00:07:44,530 --> 00:07:47,032
Uh, well, we...
have a problem.
224
00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:49,034
Not a big problem, really.
225
00:07:49,035 --> 00:07:50,035
Actually, it's a little problem,
226
00:07:50,036 --> 00:07:52,037
but it's big enough
to be a problem.
227
00:07:52,038 --> 00:07:53,538
It's been a problem for a while.
228
00:07:53,539 --> 00:07:55,040
I never thought
it was a problem.
229
00:07:55,041 --> 00:07:56,541
But, uh...
230
00:07:56,542 --> 00:07:59,044
now I see that the problem,
which is our problem,
231
00:07:59,045 --> 00:08:00,045
is really my problem,
232
00:08:00,046 --> 00:08:02,547
and of course, being my problem,
it actually becomes her problem.
233
00:08:02,548 --> 00:08:06,551
That, in a nutshell,
is the problem.
234
00:08:06,552 --> 00:08:10,555
Well put, Chester.
235
00:08:10,556 --> 00:08:12,057
Could you be
a little more specific,
236
00:08:12,058 --> 00:08:13,558
do you suppose?
237
00:08:13,559 --> 00:08:15,560
Chester goes through women
238
00:08:15,561 --> 00:08:19,064
the way an elephant
goes through peanuts.
239
00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:22,567
See, he fools around
240
00:08:22,568 --> 00:08:24,569
with anything,
any time, anywhere.
241
00:08:24,570 --> 00:08:28,073
He lies, he deceives,
he sneaks around.
242
00:08:28,074 --> 00:08:29,574
He cheats before work.
243
00:08:29,575 --> 00:08:31,076
He cheats during work.
244
00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:32,077
He cheats after work.
245
00:08:32,078 --> 00:08:34,079
He cheated on our honeymoon.
246
00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:35,080
He cheated on our anniversary.
247
00:08:35,081 --> 00:08:39,584
He cheated while I was in labor
in the hospital...
248
00:08:39,585 --> 00:08:42,087
in the hospital.
249
00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:43,088
He has cheated
250
00:08:43,089 --> 00:08:45,590
practically every week
of every month of every year
251
00:08:45,591 --> 00:08:47,092
of our entire marriage,
252
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:48,593
but other than that,
253
00:08:48,594 --> 00:08:52,097
he has been a wonderful husband.
254
00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:56,601
I see.
255
00:08:56,602 --> 00:08:59,604
Well, it certainly did take you
a long time to come and see me.
256
00:08:59,605 --> 00:09:00,605
It took her all this time
257
00:09:00,606 --> 00:09:02,607
to catch me.
258
00:09:02,608 --> 00:09:04,609
Of course.
259
00:09:04,610 --> 00:09:06,111
Well, uh...
260
00:09:06,112 --> 00:09:08,113
I see this sort of problem
a lot.
261
00:09:08,114 --> 00:09:10,115
It seems to be going around.
262
00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:13,618
I think part of the reason is...
263
00:09:13,619 --> 00:09:16,121
that there are no more Indians.
264
00:09:21,627 --> 00:09:23,628
I beg your pardon?
265
00:09:23,629 --> 00:09:27,132
You see, in the olden days,
we had Indians to worry about.
266
00:09:27,133 --> 00:09:29,134
Where were the Indians?
267
00:09:29,135 --> 00:09:30,135
Were the Indians surrounding us?
268
00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:32,637
Were the Indians angry Indians?
269
00:09:32,638 --> 00:09:34,139
Did the Indians want our horses?
270
00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:35,640
Nobody fooled around
271
00:09:35,641 --> 00:09:38,143
because you couldn't
relax long enough.
272
00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:43,648
Now we've got no more Indians.
273
00:09:43,649 --> 00:09:47,152
I see.
274
00:09:47,153 --> 00:09:49,654
The best marriages
were in the Apache territory,
275
00:09:49,655 --> 00:09:52,157
because those were
the worst Indians.
276
00:09:52,158 --> 00:09:55,660
Hostiles without,
no hostility within.
277
00:09:55,661 --> 00:09:58,663
We have a lot
to thank the Indians for.
278
00:09:58,664 --> 00:10:00,165
Happy marriages.
279
00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:02,667
Nice beadwork.
280
00:10:02,668 --> 00:10:04,669
Uh, well, what do we do
281
00:10:04,670 --> 00:10:08,173
now that there are
no more Indians?
282
00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:12,677
Aggravate
some other group, maybe.
283
00:10:12,678 --> 00:10:16,681
Uh, look, I don't think
I need Indians.
284
00:10:16,682 --> 00:10:18,183
I want to change.
285
00:10:18,184 --> 00:10:20,185
I want desperately never to look
at another woman again,
286
00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:23,188
and I sincerely think
that I can do that.
287
00:10:23,189 --> 00:10:25,190
Excuse me. Daddy.
288
00:10:25,191 --> 00:10:27,192
Can I please borrow the car key?
289
00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:28,694
Sure, Angel puss.
290
00:10:30,696 --> 00:10:32,197
Thanks.
291
00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:36,201
My daughter.
292
00:10:36,202 --> 00:10:40,205
I see the resemblance.
293
00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:43,208
Well, Mr. Tate,
I see your problem.
294
00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:44,709
I have trouble understanding it,
295
00:10:44,710 --> 00:10:46,211
but I do see it.
296
00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:50,215
I mean, if I had
such a lovely, feminine,
297
00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:53,718
genteel, sophisticated,
298
00:10:53,719 --> 00:10:59,724
enticing, gorgeous,
gorgeous, gorgeous
299
00:10:59,725 --> 00:11:01,726
piece of gorgeousness
in my house,
300
00:11:01,727 --> 00:11:03,728
I'd never leave.
301
00:11:07,733 --> 00:11:10,235
Well, yes, of course,
but, I mean, you see,
302
00:11:10,236 --> 00:11:13,238
the problem...
Gorgeous, gorgeous.
303
00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:17,242
Uh, Your Ministry, uh...
304
00:11:17,243 --> 00:11:21,746
how do you keep your marriage
trouble-free?
305
00:11:21,747 --> 00:11:23,749
Divorce.
306
00:11:26,252 --> 00:11:27,252
Married 16 years.
307
00:11:27,253 --> 00:11:29,754
My wife decided
we had to have new carpeting.
308
00:11:29,755 --> 00:11:31,756
Guy came to lay the carpet.
309
00:11:31,757 --> 00:11:35,260
Probably got a little confused
about what he was there to lay.
310
00:11:39,765 --> 00:11:41,766
Left me
with four rolls of Bigelow shag
311
00:11:41,767 --> 00:11:44,769
and took off with my wife.
312
00:11:44,770 --> 00:11:46,271
How awful.
313
00:11:46,272 --> 00:11:48,274
Might have been an Indian.
314
00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:51,776
Well, that's beside the point.
315
00:11:51,777 --> 00:11:53,278
We're here to help you people.
316
00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:55,280
Now...
317
00:11:55,281 --> 00:11:58,283
the problem
is Mr. Tate's.
318
00:11:58,284 --> 00:12:00,285
It is not your problem.
319
00:12:00,286 --> 00:12:02,787
You have no problems.
320
00:12:02,788 --> 00:12:04,790
Au contraire.
321
00:12:06,792 --> 00:12:09,294
Now, Mr. Tate,
we have a group
322
00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:11,296
that meets here once a week.
323
00:12:11,297 --> 00:12:12,797
It's a bunch of men
like yourself
324
00:12:12,798 --> 00:12:13,798
with the same sort of problem.
325
00:12:13,799 --> 00:12:16,301
It's kind of a...
group therapy situation
326
00:12:16,302 --> 00:12:18,803
led by a very competent
lay therapist.
327
00:12:18,804 --> 00:12:21,306
I used to lead the group myself,
but I had to quit.
328
00:12:21,307 --> 00:12:24,310
The stories got me too excited.
329
00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:32,317
You should hear those guys talk.
330
00:12:33,819 --> 00:12:35,820
Anyway, I think
it'll do you a lot of good.
331
00:12:35,821 --> 00:12:36,861
Come tomorrow night, 8:00.
332
00:12:37,823 --> 00:12:39,324
Well, I've got to run.
333
00:12:39,325 --> 00:12:40,325
A wedding.
334
00:12:40,326 --> 00:12:41,326
Complete waste of time.
335
00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:43,328
They haven't got a chance.
336
00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:44,829
He's 49.
337
00:12:44,830 --> 00:12:46,831
She's 21,
been married four times.
338
00:12:46,832 --> 00:12:47,833
I give it 10 days.
339
00:12:50,836 --> 00:12:52,838
Gorgeous.
340
00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:11,856
Yeah?
341
00:13:11,857 --> 00:13:12,857
Hi.
342
00:13:12,858 --> 00:13:13,858
Make it fast.
343
00:13:13,859 --> 00:13:15,360
Uh...
We don't want any.
344
00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:24,369
Yeah?
345
00:13:24,370 --> 00:13:26,371
Is this 58 Milburn Street?
346
00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:27,372
Who wants to know?
347
00:13:27,373 --> 00:13:28,873
I'm looking for Polly Dawson.
348
00:13:28,874 --> 00:13:29,875
I ain't her.
349
00:13:37,383 --> 00:13:41,386
Do you have me confused
with somebody you really hate?
350
00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:42,387
You see this?
351
00:13:42,388 --> 00:13:44,889
Yes, I do. I see that.
352
00:13:44,890 --> 00:13:46,391
Take a good look at it,
353
00:13:46,392 --> 00:13:48,393
because in about two seconds,
it's going to be behind you.
354
00:13:48,394 --> 00:13:50,895
Look, could you just tell Polly
that I'm here?
355
00:13:50,896 --> 00:13:51,896
I'd rather not.
356
00:13:51,897 --> 00:13:53,398
For me?
Beat it.
357
00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:54,899
Can I leave a note?
Eddie.
358
00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:56,901
What's going on
around here? Nothing, Momma.
359
00:13:56,902 --> 00:13:58,903
Oh, excuse me. Hi.
360
00:13:58,904 --> 00:13:59,904
I'm here to see Polly.
361
00:13:59,905 --> 00:14:02,407
Oh, for God sake, Eddie,
let the man in.
362
00:14:05,411 --> 00:14:06,411
Hi.
363
00:14:06,412 --> 00:14:07,912
Polly...
364
00:14:07,913 --> 00:14:09,914
someone to see you.
365
00:14:09,915 --> 00:14:11,416
POLLY: Coming!
366
00:14:13,419 --> 00:14:14,419
Danny.
367
00:14:14,420 --> 00:14:15,920
I was in the neighborhood.
368
00:14:15,921 --> 00:14:16,921
I thought I...
369
00:14:16,922 --> 00:14:17,922
Hey, who is this creep?
370
00:14:17,923 --> 00:14:18,923
Uh, this is Danny.
371
00:14:18,924 --> 00:14:20,425
Hi there.
372
00:14:20,426 --> 00:14:21,926
Where did you find him?
373
00:14:21,927 --> 00:14:23,928
We met last week
at the cemetery.
374
00:14:23,929 --> 00:14:27,432
Oh, you hang around cemeteries.
375
00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:29,934
I was there visiting my wife.
376
00:14:29,935 --> 00:14:30,935
Oh, and you just happened
377
00:14:30,936 --> 00:14:31,936
to pick up this black chick
378
00:14:31,937 --> 00:14:33,438
along the way,
379
00:14:33,439 --> 00:14:35,940
so the day wouldn't
be a total loss.
380
00:14:35,941 --> 00:14:37,942
Why don't you sit down
and make yourself comfortable?
381
00:14:37,943 --> 00:14:39,444
I'm Polly's mother
382
00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:41,446
and this is her brother, Eddie.
383
00:14:41,447 --> 00:14:42,947
Hi.
384
00:14:42,948 --> 00:14:44,449
Why don't you get out now
385
00:14:44,450 --> 00:14:45,950
while you can still crawl.
386
00:14:45,951 --> 00:14:47,953
I think he's warming up to me.
387
00:14:49,455 --> 00:14:52,957
Eddie, why don't you
get out of here.
388
00:14:52,958 --> 00:14:56,461
Next time, I won't be so polite.
389
00:14:59,965 --> 00:15:01,466
So...
390
00:15:01,467 --> 00:15:02,967
uh, how'd you find me?
391
00:15:02,968 --> 00:15:04,969
It was easy, really.
392
00:15:04,970 --> 00:15:06,971
My stepfather
and my brother and me
393
00:15:06,972 --> 00:15:08,473
staked out the graveyard
for a couple of days,
394
00:15:08,474 --> 00:15:09,974
and when you didn't show there,
395
00:15:09,975 --> 00:15:11,476
I just started in
on the phone book.
396
00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:13,978
There's only
a couple of hundred Dawsons.
397
00:15:13,979 --> 00:15:15,980
Oh, I never did tell you
my address, did I?
398
00:15:15,981 --> 00:15:17,982
Or your last name,
or your phone number.
399
00:15:17,983 --> 00:15:20,485
Well, you didn't ask.
400
00:15:20,486 --> 00:15:22,487
I didn't think
it was a good time.
401
00:15:22,488 --> 00:15:24,989
I guess you changed
your mind, huh?
402
00:15:24,990 --> 00:15:26,991
Yeah, I did.
403
00:15:26,992 --> 00:15:30,995
I don't hear nobody talking.
404
00:15:30,996 --> 00:15:33,998
I was taking a breath, Eddie.
405
00:15:33,999 --> 00:15:36,000
Is it all right if we breathe?
406
00:15:36,001 --> 00:15:39,504
Okay, so long
as it don't become audible.
407
00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:45,510
It's just that
I felt really good
408
00:15:45,511 --> 00:15:47,011
that afternoon.
409
00:15:47,012 --> 00:15:48,513
I haven't felt that good
in a long time,
410
00:15:48,514 --> 00:15:49,514
and I...
411
00:15:49,515 --> 00:15:52,016
I wanted to feel that way again,
so I found you.
412
00:15:52,017 --> 00:15:53,518
Was that okay?
413
00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:57,522
Yes, because I felt
the same way.
414
00:15:57,523 --> 00:15:58,523
You did?
415
00:15:58,524 --> 00:16:00,024
Yes.
416
00:16:00,025 --> 00:16:02,027
EDDIE: Sounds
like a damn movie.
417
00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:06,030
Then you're glad I'm here?
418
00:16:06,031 --> 00:16:07,532
Glad?
419
00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:09,033
I'm amazed.
420
00:16:09,034 --> 00:16:10,535
EDDIE:
I'm incensed.
421
00:16:12,037 --> 00:16:13,037
Eddie!
422
00:16:13,038 --> 00:16:16,040
I thought I might not
ever see you again.
423
00:16:16,041 --> 00:16:17,041
I got a little worried.
424
00:16:17,042 --> 00:16:18,543
I didn't.
425
00:16:18,544 --> 00:16:19,544
You didn't?
Uh-uh,
426
00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:21,045
because there are only
seven Dallases
427
00:16:21,046 --> 00:16:22,046
in the phone book.
428
00:16:23,549 --> 00:16:26,050
See, I did
a little research too.
429
00:16:26,051 --> 00:16:27,051
I guess this means
430
00:16:27,052 --> 00:16:29,053
that maybe I can see you
some more, then, huh?
431
00:16:29,054 --> 00:16:32,057
I would say that's correct.
432
00:16:34,059 --> 00:16:38,062
Will I have to come here?
433
00:16:38,063 --> 00:16:39,564
Eddie, please.
434
00:16:42,568 --> 00:16:45,069
Hey, look, it's only
about 7:00 now.
435
00:16:45,070 --> 00:16:46,571
Do you want to go out?
436
00:16:46,572 --> 00:16:48,072
Sure, let's go.
437
00:16:48,073 --> 00:16:51,576
EDDIE:
Have her home by 8:00.
438
00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:53,578
Momma, I'm going to
go out for a few hours.
439
00:16:53,579 --> 00:16:55,580
Oh, honey,
if you go by the cemetery,
440
00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:57,582
stop by Grandpa and say hi.
441
00:16:57,583 --> 00:16:59,083
Oh, we're not going to
go there, Ma.
442
00:16:59,084 --> 00:17:00,585
Oh.
443
00:17:00,586 --> 00:17:02,086
Ready?
Yes.
444
00:17:02,087 --> 00:17:03,588
It was nice meeting you.
445
00:17:03,589 --> 00:17:06,090
Oh, nice meeting you, Danny.
446
00:17:06,091 --> 00:17:08,093
See you again, brother.
447
00:17:14,099 --> 00:17:16,601
You touch one hair on her head,
448
00:17:16,602 --> 00:17:19,605
and I will touch
every bone in your head.
449
00:17:22,107 --> 00:17:24,609
He's a little hostile, isn't he?
450
00:17:24,610 --> 00:17:25,610
Oh, don't worry about Eddie.
451
00:17:25,611 --> 00:17:27,111
He gets it from our father.
452
00:17:27,112 --> 00:17:29,114
That's comforting.
453
00:17:40,626 --> 00:17:42,126
Hey, Doc.
Hey.
454
00:17:42,127 --> 00:17:43,127
How you doing, Doc?
455
00:17:43,128 --> 00:17:45,129
Come on, sit down.
456
00:17:45,130 --> 00:17:46,631
Yeah, all right.
Come on.
457
00:17:46,632 --> 00:17:48,132
What's the matter?
Come on, why so glum?
458
00:17:48,133 --> 00:17:50,134
Dow Jones down again?
459
00:17:50,135 --> 00:17:54,138
Burt, I wanted to talk to you
without Mary.
460
00:17:54,139 --> 00:17:57,642
Something's the matter
with Mary?
461
00:17:57,643 --> 00:17:59,143
Wait a minute. D-Doc...
462
00:17:59,144 --> 00:18:00,144
What...? God, she's sick.
463
00:18:00,145 --> 00:18:01,145
Oh, she's not going to die...
464
00:18:01,146 --> 00:18:02,647
No, no, no, Mary...
Mary's fine.
465
00:18:02,648 --> 00:18:03,648
She's never been better.
466
00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:05,149
Oh, good.
Thank you, Doc.
467
00:18:05,150 --> 00:18:07,151
I love you, Doc.
I love you, Doc.
468
00:18:07,152 --> 00:18:10,155
In fact, she's pregnant.
469
00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:16,160
Pregnant? Mary?
470
00:18:16,161 --> 00:18:17,161
That's right.
471
00:18:17,162 --> 00:18:20,164
You mean
she's going to have a baby?
472
00:18:20,165 --> 00:18:22,166
That's what it usually means.
473
00:18:25,170 --> 00:18:27,672
A baby! Ha ha!
474
00:18:27,673 --> 00:18:29,674
Oh, I love it. A baby.
475
00:18:29,675 --> 00:18:30,675
Mary and I...
476
00:18:30,676 --> 00:18:32,176
That'll be
our first baby together.
477
00:18:32,177 --> 00:18:33,177
Doc...
478
00:18:33,178 --> 00:18:34,178
A baby!
479
00:18:34,179 --> 00:18:35,680
Oh, God. Thank you.
You're terrific.
480
00:18:35,681 --> 00:18:37,181
Oh, a baby.
Doc, Doc, Doc...
481
00:18:37,182 --> 00:18:39,183
Mary and I are
gonna have a baby.
482
00:18:39,184 --> 00:18:40,685
I know.
483
00:18:40,686 --> 00:18:42,186
I...
484
00:18:42,187 --> 00:18:43,187
I can't believe it.
485
00:18:43,188 --> 00:18:45,690
Now, Burt, there's something
we have to talk about.
486
00:18:45,691 --> 00:18:47,191
What? I know, I know.
What? Our age.
487
00:18:47,192 --> 00:18:48,693
We're not old. Come on.
488
00:18:48,694 --> 00:18:50,695
It's better to have a baby
when you're older,
489
00:18:50,696 --> 00:18:51,696
because you're smarter.
490
00:18:51,697 --> 00:18:52,697
Really...
491
00:18:52,698 --> 00:18:54,198
you've got more experience,
you know more things,
492
00:18:54,199 --> 00:18:56,701
and... and you don't care so much
about your clothes.
493
00:18:56,702 --> 00:18:59,203
Burt, it's not all good news.
494
00:18:59,204 --> 00:19:00,705
I... Come on, Doc. I know.
495
00:19:00,706 --> 00:19:01,706
What? You never sleep.
496
00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:02,707
Doc, I had three kids.
497
00:19:02,708 --> 00:19:03,708
I didn't sleep for five years.
498
00:19:03,709 --> 00:19:06,210
One or two naps,
pfft, that was it.
499
00:19:06,211 --> 00:19:08,212
Besides, the older you get,
the less sleep you need.
500
00:19:08,213 --> 00:19:09,714
It's a medical fact.
501
00:19:09,715 --> 00:19:11,716
Don't you ever read Newsweek?
502
00:19:11,717 --> 00:19:13,217
Burt, that's not all.
503
00:19:13,218 --> 00:19:14,218
Twins!
504
00:19:14,219 --> 00:19:15,219
We get twins!
505
00:19:15,220 --> 00:19:17,722
Whoo-hoo! Twins!
506
00:19:17,723 --> 00:19:18,723
Two of them!
507
00:19:18,724 --> 00:19:19,724
That's... Oh, God, that's great.
508
00:19:19,725 --> 00:19:21,225
Twins. That's great.
509
00:19:21,226 --> 00:19:22,226
No, no. It's... It's not...
510
00:19:22,227 --> 00:19:23,728
Yes, Doc.
511
00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:25,229
I'm telling you,
it's great, it's great.
512
00:19:25,230 --> 00:19:26,230
I just won't
dress them the same.
513
00:19:26,231 --> 00:19:27,231
I hate that.
514
00:19:27,232 --> 00:19:29,233
I got two old maid twin aunts.
515
00:19:29,234 --> 00:19:30,234
They're 80 now.
516
00:19:30,235 --> 00:19:31,736
They still dress the same.
517
00:19:31,737 --> 00:19:33,738
Every day, they wake up
518
00:19:33,739 --> 00:19:35,239
and argue about
what they're gonna wear.
519
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:36,240
They're very weird.
520
00:19:36,241 --> 00:19:37,742
Burt, that's not it.
521
00:19:37,743 --> 00:19:38,743
You're probably right.
522
00:19:38,744 --> 00:19:40,745
They were probably weird
to begin with.
523
00:19:40,746 --> 00:19:42,246
No, Burt, it's you.
524
00:19:42,247 --> 00:19:44,749
Yeah, I have been called weird.
525
00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:48,753
Burt, uh, you remember
the tests we did?
526
00:19:48,754 --> 00:19:49,754
Do I remember?
527
00:19:49,755 --> 00:19:51,255
You should see my arms.
528
00:19:51,256 --> 00:19:52,757
I look like a junkie here.
529
00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:56,260
And then you remember
we did a second bunch of tests?
530
00:19:56,261 --> 00:19:57,762
Yes, you took
the rest of my blood.
531
00:19:57,763 --> 00:19:59,764
What, I got
maybe a half a cup left
532
00:19:59,765 --> 00:20:02,266
dashing around my body,
trying to cover it all.
533
00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:05,269
Both sets came back
the same, Burt.
534
00:20:05,270 --> 00:20:06,270
Good. That's a relief.
535
00:20:06,271 --> 00:20:08,773
Then I don't have to do it
a third time.
536
00:20:08,774 --> 00:20:13,278
Burt, I'm afraid
you're a very sick man.
537
00:20:17,783 --> 00:20:18,783
Uh-huh.
538
00:20:18,784 --> 00:20:21,786
You have Mylar Syndrome.
539
00:20:21,787 --> 00:20:24,289
It's a very rare blood disease.
540
00:20:26,291 --> 00:20:27,291
Yeah, so?
541
00:20:27,292 --> 00:20:28,793
What's the cure?
542
00:20:28,794 --> 00:20:30,295
There is no cure.
543
00:20:32,297 --> 00:20:33,798
What happens?
544
00:20:33,799 --> 00:20:36,300
What... What, do you mean
it just goes away all by itself?
545
00:20:36,301 --> 00:20:37,302
I'm afraid not.
546
00:20:39,304 --> 00:20:42,307
Well, what happens?
547
00:20:43,809 --> 00:20:45,310
It's fatal, Burt.
548
00:20:47,312 --> 00:20:49,814
I'm sorry.
549
00:20:52,317 --> 00:20:54,319
Mm-hmm.
550
00:20:56,321 --> 00:20:57,822
Are you sure?
551
00:20:57,823 --> 00:21:01,826
That's why we did
the second battery of tests.
552
00:21:01,827 --> 00:21:05,329
There. That's me?
553
00:21:05,330 --> 00:21:06,831
Yeah.
554
00:21:06,832 --> 00:21:08,332
No.
555
00:21:08,333 --> 00:21:09,834
Burt...
556
00:21:09,835 --> 00:21:10,835
No. No, no.
557
00:21:10,836 --> 00:21:12,837
You just told me
we're having a baby.
558
00:21:12,838 --> 00:21:13,838
Burt, you are.
559
00:21:13,839 --> 00:21:16,340
Then I can't die.
I'm not dying. I can't.
560
00:21:16,341 --> 00:21:18,342
Burt, I wish there was
something I could do.
561
00:21:18,343 --> 00:21:19,844
I wish there was
one thing I could do.
562
00:21:31,857 --> 00:21:33,357
How long?
563
00:21:33,358 --> 00:21:35,359
I mean, what, how much time?
564
00:21:35,360 --> 00:21:36,861
About five months.
565
00:21:36,862 --> 00:21:39,363
Five months?
566
00:21:39,364 --> 00:21:41,866
Everybody else gets six.
567
00:21:41,867 --> 00:21:43,367
They always say,
"Six months to a year."
568
00:21:43,368 --> 00:21:46,871
What is this?
I get five?
569
00:21:46,872 --> 00:21:47,872
It... It could be six, Burt.
570
00:21:47,873 --> 00:21:49,874
It could be.
It could be six. No, I...
571
00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:51,375
No, I don't believe that.
572
00:21:51,376 --> 00:21:52,376
I don't.
What do you...?
573
00:21:52,377 --> 00:21:53,878
What do you call this stuff?
574
00:21:53,879 --> 00:21:55,880
It's... It's, uh...
Mylar Syndrome.
575
00:21:55,881 --> 00:21:57,882
Well, you've got
nothing for it here?
576
00:21:57,883 --> 00:21:58,883
You've got... You've got...
577
00:21:58,884 --> 00:22:00,885
You've got wonder drugs
and machines and men on Mars,
578
00:22:00,886 --> 00:22:02,887
and you've got nothing
for this stuff here?
579
00:22:02,888 --> 00:22:03,888
What, Mylar wins?
580
00:22:03,889 --> 00:22:05,390
I'm afraid so.
581
00:22:13,899 --> 00:22:16,400
I gotta go.
582
00:22:16,401 --> 00:22:18,903
Are you going to be okay, Burt?
583
00:22:18,904 --> 00:22:21,406
Apparently not.
584
00:22:22,908 --> 00:22:24,408
I'm sorry.
585
00:22:24,409 --> 00:22:25,409
I'm sorry.
586
00:22:25,410 --> 00:22:26,911
Doc, Doc, I'm sorry.
587
00:22:26,912 --> 00:22:28,412
Come on, it's not your fault.
588
00:22:28,413 --> 00:22:30,915
It's not your fault.
589
00:22:30,916 --> 00:22:32,417
You okay?
590
00:22:34,419 --> 00:22:36,921
Burt, if there's
anything I can do...
591
00:22:47,933 --> 00:22:50,435
Are you sure?
592
00:22:52,437 --> 00:22:53,437
Yeah.
593
00:22:54,940 --> 00:22:56,941
That's incredible.
594
00:22:56,942 --> 00:23:00,445
On the happiest day of my life,
you tell me I have no life.
595
00:23:05,951 --> 00:23:06,952
I'll see you, Doc.
596
00:23:19,464 --> 00:23:21,465
ANNOUNCER:
What will happen with Danny and Polly?
597
00:23:21,466 --> 00:23:22,967
Will her brother let it happen?
598
00:23:22,968 --> 00:23:24,969
Now that he's dying,what will Burt do?
599
00:23:24,970 --> 00:23:25,970
Will he do it quickly?
600
00:23:25,971 --> 00:23:26,971
Will he tell Mary?
601
00:23:26,972 --> 00:23:28,472
Will he pay his doctor's bill?
602
00:23:28,473 --> 00:23:29,974
Will Chesterget himself some help
603
00:23:29,975 --> 00:23:31,475
at the minister's group?
604
00:23:31,476 --> 00:23:33,978
Or will Chester help himselfto the minister's daughter?
605
00:23:33,979 --> 00:23:35,980
These questions and many others
606
00:23:35,981 --> 00:23:38,483
will be answeredin the next episode of... Soap.
607
00:23:42,487 --> 00:23:44,989
Soap is videotapedbefore a studio audience.
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