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ANNOUNCER:
In the last episode of Soap,
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00:00:04,571 --> 00:00:07,072
Mary told Jessica she thinksBurt isn't really Burt,
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00:00:07,073 --> 00:00:08,574
but is really somebody else,
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00:00:08,575 --> 00:00:09,575
but Jessica told her
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00:00:09,576 --> 00:00:11,577
that Burt really has to be Burt.
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00:00:11,578 --> 00:00:14,580
Meanwhile, the real Burt,who is really on the spaceship,
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00:00:14,581 --> 00:00:17,082
has had Saul,who is also being held captive,
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00:00:17,083 --> 00:00:18,584
try to beam them both back.
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00:00:18,585 --> 00:00:21,086
And as if Mary doesn't reallyhave enough problems,
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00:00:21,087 --> 00:00:22,087
she is still really worried
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00:00:22,088 --> 00:00:24,089
about what has really happenedto Danny,
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00:00:24,090 --> 00:00:25,591
and who can blame her?
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00:00:25,592 --> 00:00:28,093
Because no one really knowswhat has happened to Danny.
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00:00:28,094 --> 00:00:30,095
And even though Jessicareally chose Chester,
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Detective Donohueis still around,
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00:00:32,098 --> 00:00:33,599
because every timehe tries to leave,
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00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:35,100
he faints and throws up
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00:00:35,101 --> 00:00:36,602
and reallycan't get out the door.
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Really confused?
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00:00:38,104 --> 00:00:41,607
You won't beafter this episode of... Soap.
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00:00:45,111 --> 00:00:48,614
This is the storyof two sisters,
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00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:50,616
Jessica Tate...
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00:00:50,617 --> 00:00:53,118
and Mary Campbell.
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00:00:53,119 --> 00:00:56,622
These are the Tates...
25
00:00:56,623 --> 00:01:00,626
and these are the Campbells...
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00:01:00,627 --> 00:01:04,130
and this is... Soap.
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00:01:06,633 --> 00:01:09,134
Burt! Burt!
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00:01:27,654 --> 00:01:30,155
We begin this episodeshortly after Burt and Saul
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00:01:30,156 --> 00:01:34,160
have beamed themselves downfrom the spaceship.
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00:01:38,164 --> 00:01:40,165
What is this?
Where are we?
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I'm hoping
Madison Square Garden.
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But I doubt it.
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00:01:45,672 --> 00:01:48,173
I think it's the Colosseum.
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00:01:48,174 --> 00:01:51,176
Los Angeles?
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00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:52,678
Rome.
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00:01:52,679 --> 00:01:55,180
Rome? Rome?
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00:01:55,181 --> 00:01:56,682
Saul, you told me
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00:01:56,683 --> 00:01:59,184
you knew how to work the beamer.
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00:01:59,185 --> 00:02:00,185
How many times
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00:02:00,186 --> 00:02:02,688
you put a piece of toast
in the toaster, it burns?
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00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:03,689
I miscalculated.
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00:02:06,192 --> 00:02:07,693
Well, fellas.
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00:02:07,694 --> 00:02:11,196
I've got good news...
and bad news.
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00:02:11,197 --> 00:02:14,199
The good news is
you're getting out.
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00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:19,204
The bad news is
you're going to the lions.
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00:02:21,207 --> 00:02:22,708
Whoo! Whoo!
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00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:27,212
All right, Christians.
Get moving.
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00:02:27,213 --> 00:02:29,715
We are Jewish.
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00:02:31,718 --> 00:02:34,721
Jews usually dress better.
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00:02:36,222 --> 00:02:39,725
Besides, the lions won't care.
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Now, get moving!
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00:02:43,229 --> 00:02:45,230
What's that?
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00:02:45,231 --> 00:02:46,231
A remote beamer.
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00:02:46,232 --> 00:02:47,232
I brought it just in case.
55
00:02:47,233 --> 00:02:48,734
Well...
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00:02:48,735 --> 00:02:50,235
use it, do something,
make it work.
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Looks like one of those
little pocket calculators,
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00:02:52,238 --> 00:02:53,238
doesn't it?
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Those things are a godsend.
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00:02:55,241 --> 00:02:57,242
I never could balance
a checkbook before.
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Push it!
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Hold my hand.
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00:02:59,746 --> 00:03:01,747
Come on, get going.
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00:03:01,748 --> 00:03:02,749
Here goes.
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00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:17,262
Where's this?
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00:03:17,263 --> 00:03:18,764
What is...?
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00:03:18,765 --> 00:03:20,766
Look at this. Look.
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00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:21,767
Look where you've
beamed us this time.
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Mexico.
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The world's most dangerous food.
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Get us out of here.
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00:03:29,776 --> 00:03:30,777
All right!
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00:03:32,278 --> 00:03:35,280
You dirty, stinking
revolutionaries!
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00:03:35,281 --> 00:03:38,283
It's all over now.
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00:03:38,284 --> 00:03:43,789
You have worn
your last sombrero.
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00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:44,790
Get us out of here.
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00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:45,791
Hit the remote, quick.
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00:03:45,792 --> 00:03:47,292
I-I can't.
My hands are tied.
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00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:48,293
Saul!
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00:03:48,294 --> 00:03:49,294
I don't know
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00:03:49,295 --> 00:03:50,796
why they bother
with a firing squad.
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00:03:50,797 --> 00:03:53,298
They should just
make us drink the water.
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00:03:53,299 --> 00:03:55,300
Shut up!
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00:03:55,301 --> 00:03:58,303
You have danced
your last hat dance.
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00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:01,807
Ask for a cigarette.
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00:04:01,808 --> 00:04:03,809
I don't smoke.
You will.
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00:04:03,810 --> 00:04:05,310
You'll eat them if you have to.
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00:04:05,311 --> 00:04:06,311
Psst. Señor.
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00:04:06,312 --> 00:04:07,312
¿Qué pasa?
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00:04:07,313 --> 00:04:08,814
Pardon me, uh...
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00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:09,815
Pardon me, sir, but, uh...
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00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:11,316
I believe, uh...
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00:04:11,317 --> 00:04:13,819
we're entitled
to a last cigarette.
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00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:16,321
You're entitled to nothing,
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00:04:16,322 --> 00:04:21,827
you dirty, lousy,
stinking revolutionary.
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00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:24,330
You're probably right.
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00:04:25,832 --> 00:04:29,835
Uh, a momentito, herr...amigo...
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00:04:29,836 --> 00:04:31,336
but, uh...
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00:04:31,337 --> 00:04:33,338
all firing squad prisoners
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00:04:33,339 --> 00:04:35,340
are entitled
to a final cigarette,
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00:04:35,341 --> 00:04:37,843
in accordance
with the Marlboro Act.
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00:04:40,346 --> 00:04:41,847
Okay. Okay.
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00:04:45,351 --> 00:04:49,354
I would... I would like, uh...
one of the long ones.
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00:04:49,355 --> 00:04:52,357
Menthol would be nice.
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00:04:52,358 --> 00:04:54,860
This is your last cigarette,
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00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:56,863
you lousy gringo.
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00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:01,868
Just as well. Vicious habit.
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00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:16,381
Delicious. Wonderful.
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00:05:16,382 --> 00:05:18,383
What brand is this?
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00:05:18,384 --> 00:05:20,386
Shut up and smoke!
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00:05:22,889 --> 00:05:23,889
Did you get the remote?
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00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:24,890
Yes.
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All right!
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00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:27,893
No more smoking.
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This is it,
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00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:31,396
you dirty, stinking
revolutionaries.
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00:05:31,397 --> 00:05:35,901
You have kissed
your last muchacha.
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00:05:37,403 --> 00:05:38,904
It's not working.
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00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:39,905
Get us out of here.
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00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:41,907
I'm trying, I'm trying.
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00:05:41,908 --> 00:05:43,408
Firing squad!
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Ready!
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00:05:44,410 --> 00:05:45,410
Do something!
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00:05:45,411 --> 00:05:46,411
Aim!
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00:05:46,412 --> 00:05:47,412
Fire!
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00:05:48,414 --> 00:05:50,916
¿Qué pasa?
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00:05:56,923 --> 00:05:59,925
No! No, Chester.
No, we can't.
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Why not?
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00:06:00,927 --> 00:06:02,427
Because...
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00:06:02,428 --> 00:06:04,429
Detective Donohue
is right down the hall.
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00:06:04,430 --> 00:06:05,430
So what?
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00:06:05,431 --> 00:06:06,932
He'll hear.
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00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:10,435
You make too much noise.
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00:06:10,436 --> 00:06:12,437
I'll be quiet, I promise.
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00:06:12,438 --> 00:06:14,940
No, Chester, you're never quiet.
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00:06:14,941 --> 00:06:16,942
Several hotels have asked us
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00:06:16,943 --> 00:06:18,443
never to come back.
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00:06:23,449 --> 00:06:24,450
Come in.
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00:06:27,453 --> 00:06:28,954
I'm sorry to bother you,
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00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:30,455
but while I was
brushing my teeth,
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00:06:30,456 --> 00:06:31,957
I splashed water
all over your pajamas.
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00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:33,959
Do you think
I could borrow another pair?
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00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:34,960
They'll dry.
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00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:36,461
Oh, Chester,
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00:06:36,462 --> 00:06:38,463
he might catch
his death of cold.
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00:06:38,464 --> 00:06:40,466
Exactly.
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00:06:45,972 --> 00:06:46,972
Hi.
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00:06:46,973 --> 00:06:47,973
Hi.
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00:06:47,974 --> 00:06:48,974
I missed you.
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00:06:48,975 --> 00:06:51,476
We missed you too.
151
00:06:51,477 --> 00:06:52,477
Really?
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00:06:52,478 --> 00:06:53,979
Donohue, do you mind?
153
00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:55,480
We saw each other at dinner
154
00:06:55,481 --> 00:06:56,982
15 minutes ago.
155
00:06:56,983 --> 00:06:58,483
Seems like so much longer.
156
00:06:58,484 --> 00:06:59,985
Good night, Jessica.
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00:06:59,986 --> 00:07:01,487
Good night, Chester.
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00:07:08,494 --> 00:07:09,494
Where were we?
159
00:07:09,495 --> 00:07:12,497
Oh, Chester, no, we can't.
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00:07:12,498 --> 00:07:15,000
He'll hear.
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00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:16,501
I'll be quiet, I promise.
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00:07:16,502 --> 00:07:18,003
No, you're never quiet.
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00:07:18,004 --> 00:07:20,005
I'll be quick.
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00:07:21,507 --> 00:07:23,008
CHESTER: What?
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00:07:23,009 --> 00:07:24,009
Excuse me.
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00:07:24,010 --> 00:07:25,510
Hope I didn't
interrupt anything.
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00:07:25,511 --> 00:07:27,012
I'll bet you do.
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00:07:27,013 --> 00:07:28,513
Did I?
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00:07:28,514 --> 00:07:30,015
Donohue, what do you want?
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00:07:30,016 --> 00:07:32,517
I can't wear silk pajamas.
I'll slide right out of bed.
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00:07:32,518 --> 00:07:33,518
Wear sneakers.
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00:07:35,021 --> 00:07:38,024
Chester...
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00:07:40,526 --> 00:07:41,526
Hi.
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00:07:41,527 --> 00:07:42,527
Hi.
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00:07:42,528 --> 00:07:43,528
Isn't this fun?
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00:07:43,529 --> 00:07:45,030
Yes, it's just like camp.
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00:07:46,532 --> 00:07:47,532
Out.
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00:07:47,533 --> 00:07:48,533
Good night, Jessica.
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00:07:48,534 --> 00:07:49,534
Good night.
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00:07:49,535 --> 00:07:51,036
Good night, Chester.
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00:07:55,541 --> 00:07:57,042
Jess, he has got to go.
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00:07:57,043 --> 00:07:59,544
Chester, he tries, he does,
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00:07:59,545 --> 00:08:01,046
but he passes out and throws up
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00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:02,547
every time
he gets near the door.
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00:08:02,548 --> 00:08:04,049
Jess, he has got to go,
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00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:05,131
and you've got to tell him.
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00:08:08,054 --> 00:08:09,054
Can I come in?
188
00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:11,056
What do you want
this time, Donohue?
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00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:12,557
You want them
in a different color?
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00:08:12,558 --> 00:08:14,559
Aspirin. I have a headache.
191
00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:16,061
Fine. Aspirin.
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00:08:16,062 --> 00:08:17,063
Jessica.
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00:08:20,566 --> 00:08:21,566
Hi.
194
00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:22,567
Hi.
195
00:08:23,569 --> 00:08:24,569
Marry me.
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00:08:24,570 --> 00:08:26,071
George...
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00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:28,573
I thought if I could
catch you off guard...
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00:08:28,574 --> 00:08:30,075
George...
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00:08:31,577 --> 00:08:33,578
you know, you have to go.
200
00:08:33,579 --> 00:08:35,580
Well, I will, as soon as
he comes back with the aspirin.
201
00:08:35,581 --> 00:08:37,082
No, I don't mean that.
202
00:08:37,083 --> 00:08:38,583
I mean...
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00:08:38,584 --> 00:08:40,085
Come.
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00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:45,090
Now you really have to go.
205
00:08:45,091 --> 00:08:47,092
You mean... for good?
206
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:48,093
Yes.
207
00:08:48,094 --> 00:08:50,095
This is goodbye?
208
00:08:50,096 --> 00:08:51,096
Yes.
209
00:08:51,097 --> 00:08:53,098
Jessica, I'll never
see you again?
210
00:08:53,099 --> 00:08:55,100
Oh... I don't know.
211
00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:57,602
Perhaps we will
meet again someday,
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00:08:57,603 --> 00:08:59,104
in another life.
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00:08:59,105 --> 00:09:00,605
In another life,
214
00:09:00,606 --> 00:09:01,606
you could be an avocado,
215
00:09:01,607 --> 00:09:04,109
and I could be a spider, and...
216
00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:05,610
how would I recognize you?
217
00:09:05,611 --> 00:09:07,112
Well...
218
00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:10,116
I'll be the only avocado
flirting with a spider.
219
00:09:11,617 --> 00:09:13,118
Oh, George, I am sorry, but...
220
00:09:13,119 --> 00:09:16,121
I had to make a choice.
221
00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:17,122
You see,
222
00:09:17,123 --> 00:09:19,124
it's like loving
223
00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:21,126
chocolate and vanilla ice cream,
224
00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:23,628
and only being
allowed one scoop,
225
00:09:23,629 --> 00:09:27,132
so you have to give up
one flavor.
226
00:09:27,133 --> 00:09:29,635
You could have vanilla fudge.
227
00:09:31,137 --> 00:09:33,638
I love you.
228
00:09:33,639 --> 00:09:36,641
I really love you.
229
00:09:36,642 --> 00:09:39,144
And I'll never forget you.
230
00:09:39,145 --> 00:09:41,146
Oh, Jess, don't.
231
00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:42,147
No, it's okay, it really is.
232
00:09:42,148 --> 00:09:44,649
You don't know
what you've given me.
233
00:09:44,650 --> 00:09:47,652
Before you, I thought love
could never be in my life again.
234
00:09:47,653 --> 00:09:49,654
You proved that... it could be.
235
00:09:49,655 --> 00:09:51,156
You've given me love.
236
00:09:51,157 --> 00:09:53,158
More than that,
you've given me hope.
237
00:09:53,159 --> 00:09:55,160
I'm going to be okay, Jess.
238
00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:57,662
Goodbye, Jessica.
239
00:09:57,663 --> 00:10:00,665
Goodbye, George.
240
00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:05,171
Donohue.
241
00:10:07,173 --> 00:10:08,173
Goodbye, Jessica.
242
00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:11,176
Goodbye, George.
243
00:10:11,177 --> 00:10:12,177
Goodbye, Chester.
244
00:10:12,178 --> 00:10:13,179
Goodbye.
245
00:10:21,187 --> 00:10:22,188
George...
246
00:10:23,689 --> 00:10:25,190
No?
247
00:10:25,191 --> 00:10:26,691
No.
248
00:10:29,695 --> 00:10:31,697
I'll see you.
249
00:10:50,716 --> 00:10:51,716
Hi, Jess.
250
00:10:51,717 --> 00:10:52,717
Oh, hi, Mary.
251
00:10:52,718 --> 00:10:54,719
Oh, coffee. Good.
252
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:57,222
I'm absolutely exhausted.
253
00:10:57,223 --> 00:10:59,224
I haven't slept in nights.
254
00:10:59,225 --> 00:11:01,726
Well, neither have I.
255
00:11:01,727 --> 00:11:02,727
Insomnia?
256
00:11:02,728 --> 00:11:04,729
Burt. You?
257
00:11:04,730 --> 00:11:05,731
Chester.
258
00:11:07,733 --> 00:11:09,234
Oh, great, coffee.
259
00:11:09,235 --> 00:11:11,736
I haven't slept a wink
all night.
260
00:11:11,737 --> 00:11:13,738
Well, what kept you up?
261
00:11:13,739 --> 00:11:15,240
Dutch.
262
00:11:15,241 --> 00:11:16,741
That's odd.
He's still in jail.
263
00:11:16,742 --> 00:11:18,243
Oh, I know,
264
00:11:18,244 --> 00:11:19,244
but he's getting out tomorrow,
265
00:11:19,245 --> 00:11:21,746
and I'm so excited,
I can't sleep.
266
00:11:21,747 --> 00:11:22,747
Oh, God.
267
00:11:22,748 --> 00:11:24,249
Give me some coffee.
268
00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:25,750
I was up all night.
269
00:11:25,751 --> 00:11:27,252
I knew it. I knew it.
270
00:11:27,253 --> 00:11:30,255
I knew eventually Tim would.
271
00:11:30,256 --> 00:11:32,258
Tim won't.
272
00:11:33,759 --> 00:11:35,260
Then why didn't you sleep?
273
00:11:35,261 --> 00:11:37,762
Because I was afraid
he'd wake up and want to,
274
00:11:37,763 --> 00:11:40,766
and if I fell asleep
I'd miss it.
275
00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:45,770
Plus, there was all that noise
276
00:11:45,771 --> 00:11:47,773
coming from your room.
277
00:11:51,777 --> 00:11:53,278
She means all of the...
278
00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:55,780
The talking
and the singing we do.
279
00:11:55,781 --> 00:11:57,282
Really, Mother.
280
00:11:57,283 --> 00:11:59,784
Daddy sounds
like he is being murdered.
281
00:11:59,785 --> 00:12:00,785
Eunice.
282
00:12:00,786 --> 00:12:02,287
He does.
283
00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:04,789
Once, in a hotel,
284
00:12:04,790 --> 00:12:07,292
when we got to where
Chester yells,
285
00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:08,793
well, you see,
286
00:12:08,794 --> 00:12:12,297
this man kicked in our door,
287
00:12:12,298 --> 00:12:13,798
grabbed Chester,
flipped him over,
288
00:12:13,799 --> 00:12:16,802
and started cardiac massage.
289
00:12:18,804 --> 00:12:21,806
Well, you know, it is surprising
that Chester is like that,
290
00:12:21,807 --> 00:12:23,308
because, I mean, you know,
291
00:12:23,309 --> 00:12:24,809
Chester is not
292
00:12:24,810 --> 00:12:26,311
a particularly wild person.
293
00:12:26,312 --> 00:12:28,313
Generally speaking,
294
00:12:28,314 --> 00:12:31,816
he doesn't even
take off his pajamas.
295
00:12:31,817 --> 00:12:33,818
Burt could use some chloroform.
296
00:12:35,821 --> 00:12:38,823
Could we talk
about something else, please?
297
00:12:38,824 --> 00:12:40,825
Corinne, there must be
something you can do
298
00:12:40,826 --> 00:12:41,826
to turn Tim on.
299
00:12:41,827 --> 00:12:46,331
If it was Burt,
all you'd have to do is show up.
300
00:12:48,334 --> 00:12:50,335
What about high heels
and a garter belt?
301
00:12:50,336 --> 00:12:52,837
High heels and a garter belt?
302
00:12:52,838 --> 00:12:54,839
I'm telling you, just forget it.
303
00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:55,840
Works with Dutch.
304
00:12:55,841 --> 00:12:57,842
Well, I threw away
all my garter belts
305
00:12:57,843 --> 00:13:01,846
when they invented pantyhose.
306
00:13:01,847 --> 00:13:04,849
Pantyhose
will not turn anyone on.
307
00:13:04,850 --> 00:13:07,352
Burt.
308
00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:13,858
Once, when Chester wasn't paying
a lot of attention to me,
309
00:13:13,859 --> 00:13:17,362
I tried something
that I heard this woman did.
310
00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:18,863
When her husband
came home from work,
311
00:13:18,864 --> 00:13:21,866
she greeted him
wearing a see-through apron,
312
00:13:21,867 --> 00:13:23,368
and he practically attacked her,
313
00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:25,370
so I tried it.
314
00:13:25,371 --> 00:13:27,372
You wore a see-through apron?
315
00:13:27,373 --> 00:13:28,373
That's right.
316
00:13:28,374 --> 00:13:30,375
I don't believe it.
317
00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:31,876
Well, it didn't work anyway,
318
00:13:31,877 --> 00:13:33,378
because Chester just asked me
319
00:13:33,379 --> 00:13:36,881
if I was cooking dinner
that night.
320
00:13:36,882 --> 00:13:40,385
You wore
just a see-through apron?
321
00:13:42,388 --> 00:13:45,891
Just the apron?
322
00:13:49,395 --> 00:13:52,397
Yeah, Ma, just the apron.
323
00:13:52,398 --> 00:13:56,902
You mean,
that woman wore just the apron?
324
00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:03,909
I hope she wasn't cooking bacon.
325
00:14:05,911 --> 00:14:08,413
See, the thing is,
no matter what you do,
326
00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:10,915
it's never really perfect,
is it?
327
00:14:10,916 --> 00:14:11,916
Sometimes.
328
00:14:11,917 --> 00:14:12,917
Once in a while.
329
00:14:12,918 --> 00:14:15,420
I remember a few.
330
00:14:15,421 --> 00:14:18,923
It is always perfect
in the movies, though.
331
00:14:18,924 --> 00:14:21,426
Katharine Hepburn
and Spencer Tracy.
332
00:14:21,427 --> 00:14:23,428
Cary Grant and Grace Kelly.
333
00:14:23,429 --> 00:14:25,430
Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh.
334
00:14:25,431 --> 00:14:26,932
Peter Sellers.
335
00:14:38,444 --> 00:14:39,445
And who?
336
00:14:40,946 --> 00:14:41,946
No one.
337
00:14:41,947 --> 00:14:42,947
He's just so funny.
338
00:14:42,948 --> 00:14:44,449
I love him.
339
00:14:52,958 --> 00:14:55,460
Oh, my head.
340
00:14:55,461 --> 00:14:56,961
Your head?
341
00:14:56,962 --> 00:14:59,964
My allergist could retire
from this place.
342
00:15:00,966 --> 00:15:01,966
Where am I?
343
00:15:01,967 --> 00:15:03,468
Where are you?
344
00:15:03,469 --> 00:15:04,969
You're in a barn.
345
00:15:04,970 --> 00:15:06,471
Look at this.
346
00:15:06,472 --> 00:15:07,472
Straw, hay, feathers.
347
00:15:08,974 --> 00:15:10,975
Millie, what's going to happen?
348
00:15:10,976 --> 00:15:12,977
It's hard to say.
349
00:15:12,978 --> 00:15:15,480
Usually my eyes water,
then I get a rash.
350
00:15:15,481 --> 00:15:17,482
No, I mean with me.
351
00:15:17,483 --> 00:15:18,983
Oh, I'm not supposed
to tell you.
352
00:15:18,984 --> 00:15:20,485
I promised Mel.
353
00:15:20,486 --> 00:15:21,486
He's going to shoot me,
isn't he?
354
00:15:21,487 --> 00:15:22,987
Oh, Danny, please don't ask me.
355
00:15:22,988 --> 00:15:24,489
I can't do anything about it.
356
00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:26,491
Why not?
Mel will get mad.
357
00:15:26,492 --> 00:15:28,494
You look nice.
358
00:15:29,995 --> 00:15:31,496
What?
359
00:15:31,497 --> 00:15:33,998
I mean, considering
what you've been through.
360
00:15:33,999 --> 00:15:34,999
I'm touched.
361
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,000
No, really.
362
00:15:36,001 --> 00:15:38,002
Believe me, I've seen
a lot of guys tied up,
363
00:15:38,003 --> 00:15:40,004
so it's not that...
364
00:15:40,005 --> 00:15:42,507
Oh, you got beautiful eyes.
365
00:15:44,009 --> 00:15:47,512
Oh, and your chest is nice too.
366
00:15:47,513 --> 00:15:50,515
Well, uh, how about
untying my hands?
367
00:15:50,516 --> 00:15:52,016
I'm not allowed.
368
00:15:52,017 --> 00:15:53,518
Well, I can't
very well touch you
369
00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:55,019
if my hands are tied.
370
00:15:55,020 --> 00:15:57,022
Oh, Danny.
371
00:16:01,026 --> 00:16:02,527
I'm sorry.
372
00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:10,034
I'm a little less sorry.
373
00:16:10,035 --> 00:16:12,036
MEL:
Yo, Millie!
374
00:16:12,037 --> 00:16:13,037
Uh, yo, Mel!
375
00:16:13,038 --> 00:16:14,539
Hiya, baby.
376
00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:15,540
Hi.
377
00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:16,541
Uh, we were just
talking about you.
378
00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:18,042
Get in the car.
Mel...
379
00:16:18,043 --> 00:16:20,044
And grab some eggs
on your way out.
380
00:16:20,045 --> 00:16:21,546
Mel, do we really
have to kill him?
381
00:16:21,547 --> 00:16:24,549
Millie, go wait in the car.
382
00:16:24,550 --> 00:16:25,550
Millie...
383
00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:26,551
Mel...
Millie...
384
00:16:26,552 --> 00:16:27,552
Mel...
Danny...
385
00:16:27,553 --> 00:16:28,553
Millie!
386
00:16:28,554 --> 00:16:29,554
Mel!
Mel...
387
00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:30,555
Millie!
388
00:16:30,556 --> 00:16:32,056
Danny...
Millie...
389
00:16:32,057 --> 00:16:33,558
Say your prayers, sport.
390
00:16:33,559 --> 00:16:34,559
Mel!
391
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:37,562
Millie... Oh!
392
00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:39,063
Millie!
393
00:16:39,064 --> 00:16:41,065
Danny.
394
00:16:41,066 --> 00:16:42,567
Thank God.
395
00:16:42,568 --> 00:16:44,068
Let's tie him up, call the cops,
396
00:16:44,069 --> 00:16:45,069
and get out of here.
397
00:16:45,070 --> 00:16:46,571
Oh, you go.
I can't leave Mel.
398
00:16:46,572 --> 00:16:47,572
I have nowhere to go.
399
00:16:47,573 --> 00:16:48,573
Millie, he belongs in jail.
400
00:16:48,574 --> 00:16:51,075
You can come home with me.
401
00:16:51,076 --> 00:16:52,577
Come on, untie me.
402
00:16:52,578 --> 00:16:54,078
You mean, you really want me?
403
00:16:54,079 --> 00:16:55,580
Well, I can't leave you
here with him.
404
00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:56,581
Come on.
405
00:16:56,582 --> 00:16:57,582
Are you sure?
Yeah, I'm sure.
406
00:16:57,583 --> 00:16:59,584
You want me to
come home with you? Yes.
407
00:16:59,585 --> 00:17:00,585
Could we get married?
408
00:17:00,586 --> 00:17:02,588
We'll talk.
409
00:17:18,103 --> 00:17:20,104
Um, Brockhurst Investments?
410
00:17:20,105 --> 00:17:21,606
Yes, is, uh, Mr. Brockhurst in?
411
00:17:21,607 --> 00:17:24,108
This is Chester Tate.
412
00:17:24,109 --> 00:17:26,611
What?
413
00:17:26,612 --> 00:17:28,112
Joyce?
414
00:17:28,113 --> 00:17:30,114
Well, hi.
415
00:17:30,115 --> 00:17:33,117
Well, yeah, it has been a while.
416
00:17:33,118 --> 00:17:34,619
Well, you know.
417
00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:36,621
This and that.
418
00:17:36,622 --> 00:17:40,625
Yeah, well, I'm afraid
I don't do that anymore.
419
00:17:40,626 --> 00:17:42,627
Oh, excuse me?
420
00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:44,128
Well, yeah, maybe sometime.
421
00:17:44,129 --> 00:17:45,630
Lunch sounds fine.
422
00:17:45,631 --> 00:17:47,131
Is, uh, Mr. Brockhurst...
423
00:17:47,132 --> 00:17:48,633
What?
424
00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:51,636
Well, I admit the offer
is certainly tempting,
425
00:17:51,637 --> 00:17:52,637
but I... I couldn't possibly...
426
00:17:52,638 --> 00:17:54,639
What?
427
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:57,141
You're kidding.
428
00:17:57,142 --> 00:18:00,144
I didn't know
they made them in leather.
429
00:18:00,145 --> 00:18:03,147
No, no, Joyce, no.
430
00:18:03,148 --> 00:18:06,150
I... I really must decline.
431
00:18:06,151 --> 00:18:08,152
I'm a new man now, Joyce.
432
00:18:08,153 --> 00:18:09,654
I'm a one-girl guy.
433
00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:11,155
What's past is past.
434
00:18:11,156 --> 00:18:12,657
That's all behind me...
435
00:18:12,658 --> 00:18:14,659
What?
436
00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:17,662
You're joking.
437
00:18:17,663 --> 00:18:19,665
Well, what do you do with it?
438
00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:24,168
Oh, yeah, I'll bet, huh?
439
00:18:24,169 --> 00:18:26,170
Yeah, well, now,
I-I'd really love to,
440
00:18:26,171 --> 00:18:27,171
but I can't...
441
00:18:27,172 --> 00:18:29,674
What?
442
00:18:29,675 --> 00:18:30,675
Oh, well, sure.
443
00:18:30,676 --> 00:18:31,676
A drink sometime.
444
00:18:31,677 --> 00:18:32,677
Absolutely.
445
00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:34,178
There's no harm
in a little drinky-poo
446
00:18:34,179 --> 00:18:35,680
for old times' sake.
447
00:18:35,681 --> 00:18:37,181
Of course.
448
00:18:37,182 --> 00:18:38,683
Yeah, me too.
449
00:18:38,684 --> 00:18:42,186
Oh, listen, Joyce,
there's no reason to apologize.
450
00:18:42,187 --> 00:18:44,689
I understand completely.
451
00:18:44,690 --> 00:18:46,190
Sure.
452
00:18:46,191 --> 00:18:47,191
Yeah, same here.
453
00:18:47,192 --> 00:18:49,694
Take care of yourself.
454
00:18:49,695 --> 00:18:50,855
I'll see you in half an hour.
455
00:18:58,203 --> 00:18:59,203
Hello, dear.
456
00:18:59,204 --> 00:19:01,706
Uh, Chester...
457
00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:04,208
What are you doing?
458
00:19:04,209 --> 00:19:05,209
Got to go, Jess.
459
00:19:05,210 --> 00:19:06,210
Where?
460
00:19:06,211 --> 00:19:07,712
Brockhurst Investments.
461
00:19:07,713 --> 00:19:10,214
They may have an opening for me.
462
00:19:10,215 --> 00:19:11,215
Oh, Chester.
463
00:19:11,216 --> 00:19:16,220
That's wonderful,
just wonderful.
464
00:19:16,221 --> 00:19:18,223
What position?
465
00:19:21,727 --> 00:19:23,728
I'll, uh...
know when I get there.
466
00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:26,230
You must be very excited.
467
00:19:26,231 --> 00:19:28,733
As a matter of fact, I am.
468
00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:31,736
Chester, you could
go all the way
469
00:19:31,737 --> 00:19:33,238
with that company.
470
00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:35,740
Knock on wood.
471
00:19:35,741 --> 00:19:38,242
Bye, dear.
472
00:19:38,243 --> 00:19:39,243
Bye.
473
00:19:39,244 --> 00:19:40,244
Chester?
474
00:19:40,245 --> 00:19:41,245
Good luck.
475
00:19:53,759 --> 00:19:54,759
Well, that's that.
476
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:56,260
Oh, that was fast.
477
00:19:56,261 --> 00:19:58,262
I didn't realize
how far behind I got.
478
00:19:58,263 --> 00:19:59,764
Well, I think being held captive
by the Sunnies
479
00:19:59,765 --> 00:20:01,766
is an acceptable excuse.
480
00:20:01,767 --> 00:20:04,268
Anyway, I really appreciate
this time you're taking with me.
481
00:20:04,269 --> 00:20:07,271
Well, we can, uh,
either tackle the Renaissance,
482
00:20:07,272 --> 00:20:08,272
or send out for pizza.
483
00:20:08,273 --> 00:20:10,775
Pizza?
You eat pizza?
484
00:20:10,776 --> 00:20:12,777
Teachers can't eat pizza?
485
00:20:12,778 --> 00:20:14,278
No, what I mean is,
486
00:20:14,279 --> 00:20:15,279
you'd probably rather
eat dinner out
487
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:16,781
with your husband.
Not really.
488
00:20:16,782 --> 00:20:18,282
Well, maybe you'd like
to call Mr. Walker
489
00:20:18,283 --> 00:20:19,784
and let him know where you are.
490
00:20:19,785 --> 00:20:21,285
I promise I won't cheat
while you're gone.
491
00:20:21,286 --> 00:20:22,286
Mr. Walker's in Cleveland.
492
00:20:22,287 --> 00:20:24,288
Do you need change
for the phone?
493
00:20:24,289 --> 00:20:27,792
Mr. Walker and I are divorced.
494
00:20:27,793 --> 00:20:29,794
Oh, jeez, I'm sorry,
Mrs. Walker.
495
00:20:29,795 --> 00:20:32,296
Would you like a glass of water
or something?
496
00:20:32,297 --> 00:20:35,299
No, I'm pretty much over it,
thanks.
497
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:36,300
Listen, it's still early.
498
00:20:36,301 --> 00:20:37,301
Maybe you could still go out.
499
00:20:37,302 --> 00:20:38,803
I don't go out.
500
00:20:38,804 --> 00:20:40,304
You mean you don't date?
501
00:20:40,305 --> 00:20:41,806
Well, it's very hard
to get back into dating
502
00:20:41,807 --> 00:20:44,809
after you've been involved
in a long-term relationship.
503
00:20:44,810 --> 00:20:47,311
Yeah, I know what you mean.
504
00:20:47,312 --> 00:20:48,813
Men have a strange attitude
505
00:20:48,814 --> 00:20:50,314
toward divorced women.
506
00:20:50,315 --> 00:20:51,315
Here.
507
00:20:51,316 --> 00:20:53,317
The Renaissance.
508
00:20:53,318 --> 00:20:54,318
What do you mean?
509
00:20:54,319 --> 00:20:55,319
Well, I mean Italy,
510
00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:57,321
uh, 14th century
to 17th century.
511
00:20:57,322 --> 00:20:58,823
No, I mean about
men's attitudes.
512
00:20:58,824 --> 00:21:00,324
Oh.
513
00:21:00,325 --> 00:21:01,325
Well, they all think
514
00:21:01,326 --> 00:21:02,827
that just because
you're divorced,
515
00:21:02,828 --> 00:21:03,828
you're an easy target.
516
00:21:03,829 --> 00:21:04,829
So what do you do?
517
00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:06,330
Go home.
518
00:21:06,331 --> 00:21:07,331
Read.
519
00:21:07,332 --> 00:21:09,333
Feed the fish.
520
00:21:09,334 --> 00:21:10,835
Read some more.
521
00:21:10,836 --> 00:21:13,838
Feed the fish some more.
522
00:21:13,839 --> 00:21:15,339
My eyes are very weak
523
00:21:15,340 --> 00:21:17,842
and my fish
look like Oldsmobiles.
524
00:21:19,344 --> 00:21:20,344
I love that.
525
00:21:20,345 --> 00:21:22,847
What?
Reading and fish.
526
00:21:22,848 --> 00:21:24,348
That's what it's all about.
527
00:21:24,349 --> 00:21:26,851
You may be right.
528
00:21:26,852 --> 00:21:28,352
Do you know,
I read that the common guppy
529
00:21:28,353 --> 00:21:30,354
has a one in 500 shot
at reaching maturity?
530
00:21:33,358 --> 00:21:35,359
Actually, it's probably
more like a one in 300.
531
00:21:36,862 --> 00:21:38,362
Okay, look, I made that up.
532
00:21:38,363 --> 00:21:39,864
They all live,
and none of them die.
533
00:21:39,865 --> 00:21:41,365
They can never die.
534
00:21:41,366 --> 00:21:42,867
Hey, look, you're real upset.
I'll go.
535
00:21:42,868 --> 00:21:43,868
We can do this some other time.
536
00:21:43,869 --> 00:21:45,870
No, no. Hey, Billy, don't go.
537
00:21:45,871 --> 00:21:46,871
If it weren't for you,
538
00:21:46,872 --> 00:21:48,873
I'd have absolutely
nothing to do at all.
539
00:21:48,874 --> 00:21:49,874
Come on, stay.
540
00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:50,875
We'll just go back to work.
541
00:21:50,876 --> 00:21:51,876
Are you sure?
542
00:21:51,877 --> 00:21:53,878
Yes, really.
543
00:21:53,879 --> 00:21:54,879
I'm sorry.
544
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:57,381
It's just that....
545
00:21:57,382 --> 00:21:58,382
well, it's been a while
546
00:21:58,383 --> 00:21:59,884
since I've really
talked to anybody.
547
00:21:59,885 --> 00:22:00,885
Yeah?
548
00:22:00,886 --> 00:22:02,887
Could I get you an apple?
549
00:22:04,890 --> 00:22:07,391
Mrs. Walker, please,
550
00:22:07,392 --> 00:22:08,893
don't do this to yourself.
551
00:22:08,894 --> 00:22:10,895
You'll find someone.
552
00:22:10,896 --> 00:22:11,896
My God,
553
00:22:11,897 --> 00:22:14,398
you're the most wonderful,
beautiful person I know.
554
00:22:14,399 --> 00:22:15,900
Why do you think
your class is so popular?
555
00:22:15,901 --> 00:22:17,902
You think the boys are nuts
about ancient history?
556
00:22:17,903 --> 00:22:19,403
It's you.
557
00:22:19,404 --> 00:22:21,906
We spend the whole time
just staring at you.
558
00:22:21,907 --> 00:22:25,409
Why do you think
our marks are so bad?
559
00:22:25,410 --> 00:22:26,911
I mean, if you looked
like a turtle,
560
00:22:26,912 --> 00:22:28,913
we'd graduate in half an hour.
561
00:22:29,915 --> 00:22:31,916
Oh, Billy.
562
00:22:31,917 --> 00:22:34,418
You're funny.
563
00:22:34,419 --> 00:22:35,419
And you're terrific.
564
00:22:35,420 --> 00:22:37,422
So don't do this to yourself
anymore, okay?
565
00:22:38,423 --> 00:22:39,424
Thanks, Billy.
566
00:22:40,926 --> 00:22:41,926
You know,
567
00:22:41,927 --> 00:22:45,429
you've made me feel better.
568
00:22:45,430 --> 00:22:46,931
Turtle?
569
00:22:48,433 --> 00:22:50,935
You're a good guy, Billy.
570
00:22:50,936 --> 00:22:54,940
Call me Bill.
571
00:22:56,942 --> 00:22:58,944
Thanks, Bill.
572
00:23:14,459 --> 00:23:16,961
ANNOUNCER:
Now that Detective Donohue has left,
573
00:23:16,962 --> 00:23:19,463
will Jessica be happywith her choice of Chester?
574
00:23:19,464 --> 00:23:21,465
Now that Chesteris playing around again,
575
00:23:21,466 --> 00:23:24,468
will Chester be happywith her choice of Chester?
576
00:23:24,469 --> 00:23:25,970
Now that Milliehas saved him from Mel,
577
00:23:25,971 --> 00:23:27,972
who will save Danny from Millie?
578
00:23:27,973 --> 00:23:30,474
What has happenedto Saul and Burt in Mexico?
579
00:23:30,475 --> 00:23:31,976
Did they get away?
580
00:23:31,977 --> 00:23:32,977
Did they die?
581
00:23:32,978 --> 00:23:34,979
Did they have timeto take in a bullfight?
582
00:23:34,980 --> 00:23:36,480
Will there beextracurricular activity
583
00:23:36,481 --> 00:23:37,982
between Billy and his teacher?
584
00:23:37,983 --> 00:23:40,484
These questions and many otherswill be answered
585
00:23:40,485 --> 00:23:42,987
in the next episode of... Soap.
586
00:23:47,993 --> 00:23:50,495
Soap is videotapedbefore a studio audience.
37769
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