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Hey, Julie, did I tell
you about the time
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00:00:04,772 --> 00:00:05,781
the teacher asked me
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00:00:05,805 --> 00:00:07,917
who signed the Declaration
of Independence?
4
00:00:07,941 --> 00:00:10,253
No. Why don't you tell me?
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00:00:10,277 --> 00:00:12,288
Okay. I'm in school,
and the teacher says,
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00:00:12,312 --> 00:00:13,823
"Kotter, stand up." I stand up.
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00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,892
"Who signed the Declaration
of Independence?"
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00:00:15,916 --> 00:00:17,093
What did you say?
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00:00:17,117 --> 00:00:18,117
I said:
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00:00:19,152 --> 00:00:21,297
"I don't know.
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00:00:21,321 --> 00:00:23,221
But I know I didn't sign it."
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00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:27,370
She says, "Go home
and get your father.
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00:00:27,394 --> 00:00:28,938
Bring him into
school the next day."
14
00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:30,673
Okay. Then what happened?
15
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,742
I had to bring my father
into school the next day.
16
00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:35,145
She said, "Mr. Kotter,
watch this. Gabe, stand up ."
17
00:00:35,169 --> 00:00:37,947
She said, "Who signed the
Declaration of Independence?"
18
00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:39,615
I said, "I don't know.
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00:00:39,639 --> 00:00:41,539
But I know... I didn't sign it."
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00:00:42,877 --> 00:00:45,121
She looks at my father.
She says "You see that?"
21
00:00:45,145 --> 00:00:47,557
Well, what did your father say?
22
00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:50,126
My father said, "If
he says didn't sign it...
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00:00:50,150 --> 00:00:51,383
he didn't sign it."
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00:00:53,888 --> 00:00:56,065
Welcome Back,
Kotter is recorded live
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00:00:56,089 --> 00:00:57,833
before a studio audience.
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00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:08,378
♪ Welcome back ♪
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00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:12,048
♪ Your dreams
Were your ticket out ♪
28
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,251
♪ Welcome back ♪
29
00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:19,155
♪ To that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
30
00:01:19,179 --> 00:01:21,191
♪ Well, the names
Have all changed ♪
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00:01:21,215 --> 00:01:23,393
♪ Since you hung around ♪
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00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,662
♪ But those dreams
Have remained ♪
33
00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:28,131
♪ And they've turned around ♪
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00:01:28,155 --> 00:01:30,233
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
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00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:31,801
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
36
00:01:31,825 --> 00:01:34,037
♪ Back here Where we need ya? ♪
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00:01:34,061 --> 00:01:36,139
♪ Back here Where we need ya? ♪
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00:01:36,163 --> 00:01:38,274
♪ Yeah, we tease him A lot ♪
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♪ 'Cause we've got
him On the spot ♪
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00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:42,712
♪ Welcome back ♪
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00:01:42,736 --> 00:01:44,614
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
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♪ Welcome back ♪
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00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:49,286
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
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♪ Welcome back ♪
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00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:02,865
Okay.
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00:02:02,889 --> 00:02:05,901
A, The Berber
tribes were Orientals.
47
00:02:05,925 --> 00:02:09,106
B, The Berber tribes moved
across the polar ice caps
48
00:02:09,130 --> 00:02:11,208
and became the first Eskimos.
49
00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:12,275
So, it follows that:
50
00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:15,211
C, Orientals were
the first Eskimos.
51
00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:18,215
Well, I guess them igloos are
really made out of white rice.
52
00:02:22,143 --> 00:02:23,753
Hey, you know, it
must be real murder
53
00:02:23,777 --> 00:02:26,217
trying to eat whale with
chopsticks, you know?
54
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,613
Ah!
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00:02:29,917 --> 00:02:32,361
All right, ethnic jokes
like that aren't funny.
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00:02:32,385 --> 00:02:34,030
They show a lack
of intelligence.
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00:02:34,054 --> 00:02:35,454
Then let us hear
one of your jokes.
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00:02:37,258 --> 00:02:39,657
Okay. Did you hear about
the 500-pound parrot?
59
00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:43,829
He says, "Polly
wants a cracker. Now."
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00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,729
Do you call that
teaching, Kotter?
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00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:52,938
No, I call it a joke.
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00:02:54,073 --> 00:02:55,519
See, it's a 500-pound parrot.
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00:02:55,543 --> 00:02:57,742
He said, "Polly
wants a cracker. Now."
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00:03:00,247 --> 00:03:01,691
Spare me, Kotter.
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00:03:01,715 --> 00:03:04,349
I just came by to tell you,
you're getting a new student.
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00:03:05,151 --> 00:03:06,129
New Sweathog?
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00:03:06,153 --> 00:03:08,198
That's right. From California.
68
00:03:08,222 --> 00:03:09,699
Out there, they're
all Sweathogs.
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00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:12,163
The only difference is a suntan.
70
00:03:13,493 --> 00:03:15,906
Where is this new,
uh, Sweathog of mine?
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00:03:15,930 --> 00:03:17,207
She's on her way here.
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00:03:17,231 --> 00:03:19,842
She was just in the
nurse's office getting shots.
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00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:22,667
I wouldn't let a child in this
environment without them.
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00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:34,713
Oh, boy. Hey!
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00:03:35,782 --> 00:03:38,182
W-ow-ow-ow!
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00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:41,987
Haven't you ever
seen a girl before?
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00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:43,489
Not that kind.
78
00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:46,168
Well, what am I supposed to be?
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00:03:46,192 --> 00:03:48,672
Neck bones and gravy?
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00:03:50,597 --> 00:03:52,642
Make sure that these
Sweathogs behave.
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00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:53,843
At the end of the day,
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00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:55,867
I'm having her
dusted for fingerprints.
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00:03:59,038 --> 00:04:00,049
Hello.
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00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,313
Hi. Heh.
85
00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:03,519
What's your first name?
86
00:04:03,543 --> 00:04:05,983
It's Bambi. Heh.
87
00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:09,125
But, uh...
88
00:04:09,149 --> 00:04:12,161
My friends call
me Sunshine. Heh.
89
00:04:12,185 --> 00:04:13,196
Ooh. Well, uh...
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00:04:13,220 --> 00:04:14,980
Let the sunshine in, darling.
91
00:04:19,460 --> 00:04:21,604
Uh, what part of
California you come from?
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00:04:21,628 --> 00:04:22,908
The beach. Heh.
93
00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:24,964
Hi.
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00:04:25,665 --> 00:04:26,798
I'm Vinnie Barbarino.
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00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:28,533
Head Sweathog here.
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00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:37,821
How do you think I'd
go over on the beach?
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00:04:37,845 --> 00:04:41,424
Ooh. You'd be great. Heh.
98
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:44,115
You should have
your own religion. Heh.
99
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,352
Oh, yeah. Ha, ha, ha.
100
00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:51,095
Freddie Washington. Ahem.
101
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,406
Hi there.
102
00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:59,342
Fredericko "Boom
Boom" at your service.
103
00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:02,612
Hey, Boom Boom.
104
00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:04,413
It's gonna be difficult
for you to kiss...
105
00:05:04,437 --> 00:05:07,972
anybody's hand
with your... lip broken.
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00:05:09,609 --> 00:05:12,121
That's a-right, that's a-right.
107
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:14,958
Ooh. Ooh, ooh!
Ooh! Ooh, ooh, ooh!
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00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:16,292
We'll get to you, Arnold.
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00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:17,860
I promise, we'll get to you.
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00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:20,163
There's Thomas, there's Ricky,
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00:05:20,187 --> 00:05:24,067
Larry, Robert,
Joyce. This is Juan.
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00:05:24,091 --> 00:05:26,802
Hi. I'm Juan Epstein. Heh.
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00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:30,328
Didn't we live
together in another life?
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00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:32,797
Oh.
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00:05:34,467 --> 00:05:36,112
Oh.
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00:05:36,136 --> 00:05:37,936
I would've remembered that.
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00:05:40,206 --> 00:05:43,052
Oh, he's magic. Heh.
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00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:45,357
Yeah, maybe one
day he'll disappear.
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00:05:46,814 --> 00:05:49,258
Ooh! Ooh, ooh, ooh! Oh!
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00:05:49,282 --> 00:05:50,660
Yes, I know. Oh.
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00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,795
This is Arnold
Horshack, this is Bambi.
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00:05:52,819 --> 00:05:54,099
Don't talk.
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00:05:54,654 --> 00:05:57,422
Just feel the vibes.
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00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:01,371
Oh.
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00:06:01,395 --> 00:06:02,994
I think I just felt one.
126
00:06:08,268 --> 00:06:10,980
Oh, wow. Heh.
127
00:06:11,004 --> 00:06:13,244
He has an aura. Heh.
128
00:06:13,506 --> 00:06:15,440
I got a aura!
129
00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:21,680
Did you hear that,
Mr. Kotter? I got a aura!
130
00:06:23,183 --> 00:06:24,816
I got a aura!
131
00:06:27,787 --> 00:06:29,287
What's a aura?
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00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:37,408
Bambi, why don't
you sit over there.
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00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,878
So tell me, Bambi,
what do you think
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00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:43,045
of your new classmates?
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00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:45,715
They're nice. Heh.
136
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:46,816
But the guys in California
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00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:50,086
are so open and groovy. Heh.
138
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:51,621
You know, uh, Mr. Kotter,
139
00:06:51,645 --> 00:06:54,824
you remind of this guy I
knew in California. Heh.
140
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:56,715
Who? Jim Nabors?
141
00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:02,832
Wayne Newton, maybe.
142
00:07:04,525 --> 00:07:05,805
Liberace?
143
00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:10,673
Okay. Before, we were
discussing the cultural differences
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00:07:10,697 --> 00:07:12,308
between the Eskimos
and the Berbers.
145
00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:14,465
Let's make that... California
146
00:07:15,702 --> 00:07:18,169
against good old Brooklyn!
147
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:21,917
All right, Bambi,
start out by telling us,
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00:07:21,941 --> 00:07:24,020
what your typical
California day is like.
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00:07:24,044 --> 00:07:25,454
Sure.
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00:07:25,478 --> 00:07:26,558
Go ahead.
151
00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:31,761
Well, uh... I usually roll out
152
00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:34,464
of my waterbed at 8...
153
00:07:34,488 --> 00:07:36,832
to see if the surf's up. Heh.
154
00:07:36,856 --> 00:07:38,734
And, uh, if it's warm...
155
00:07:38,758 --> 00:07:42,972
And it's always warm...
Ha, ha, ha. Yeah.
156
00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:45,808
I, uh, put on my bikini
157
00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:50,480
and... grab some
organic raisins and nuts.
158
00:07:50,504 --> 00:07:54,216
And, um... go to the
beach where we swim
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00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:56,219
and play volleyball.
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00:07:56,243 --> 00:07:57,219
Us too.
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00:07:57,243 --> 00:07:59,889
Yeah. Ha, ha, ha.
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00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:02,725
Okay. Bambi has told us
about her typical California day.
163
00:08:02,749 --> 00:08:04,027
She gets out of her water bed.
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00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:05,428
It's always warm.
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00:08:05,452 --> 00:08:07,563
She puts on a bikini,
she grabs some nuts
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00:08:07,587 --> 00:08:09,667
and she goes swimming.
167
00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:12,434
Now, what are the differences?
168
00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:15,138
Well, let's see now.
169
00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:17,539
She sleeps on a waterbed...
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00:08:17,563 --> 00:08:19,341
and I sleep with my brother.
171
00:08:19,365 --> 00:08:20,405
Yeah, man, me too.
172
00:08:21,534 --> 00:08:23,300
I remember once...
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00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:26,004
when I was real little...
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00:08:26,907 --> 00:08:28,506
I slept in a waterbed.
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00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,026
Hey, look...
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00:08:38,050 --> 00:08:39,896
let's me and you get
together after school.
177
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:41,997
I'm gonna take you
waterskiing on the East River.
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00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:43,232
Mañana.
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00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:44,634
Hey, mañana.
180
00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:45,901
Hey.
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00:08:45,925 --> 00:08:47,870
Baby. I'm gonna give
you a guided tour uptown
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00:08:47,894 --> 00:08:49,171
that ain't in no guidebooks.
183
00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:52,408
Dig. New York City
on five ribs a day.
184
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:57,101
How would you
like five broken ribs?
185
00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:09,425
Hi, Bambi. Can I help
you with something?
186
00:09:09,449 --> 00:09:13,062
Mm, Mr. Kotter, uh...
What's your sign?
187
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:15,020
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Let me guess. Um...
188
00:09:16,089 --> 00:09:17,967
Taurus. No.
189
00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:19,735
Libra? No.
190
00:09:19,759 --> 00:09:21,470
Cancer. Wrong.
191
00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:22,805
Capricorn.
192
00:09:22,829 --> 00:09:24,140
No, no. I'm Aquarius.
193
00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:25,363
I just knew it!
194
00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:29,746
I was born on a cusp.
195
00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:32,290
Must have been very painful.
196
00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:38,521
Oh. You're so funny
and together, Mr. Kotter.
197
00:09:38,545 --> 00:09:41,790
I mean, your karma
is really heavy. Heh.
198
00:09:41,814 --> 00:09:43,959
Yeah. Well, I'm gonna
go on a karma diet.
199
00:09:46,786 --> 00:09:50,599
You remind me of my
teacher in California.
200
00:09:50,623 --> 00:09:54,070
He let me call him,
uh... Jerry. Heh.
201
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,627
Okay. Call me Jerry.
202
00:09:59,799 --> 00:10:00,910
You know, um,
203
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,545
Mr. Woodman said you
ought to show me around.
204
00:10:03,569 --> 00:10:04,580
And, um...
205
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:07,349
I have no plans
after school. Heh.
206
00:10:07,373 --> 00:10:09,919
Why don't you have one of the
Sweathogs show you around?
207
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:12,355
Oh, they're not
groovy like you, and...
208
00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:14,057
Besides you're so much more...
209
00:10:14,081 --> 00:10:15,980
mature than those kids.
210
00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:20,763
Um... Well, Bambi,
those kids are mature.
211
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:21,897
You're making a mistake.
212
00:10:21,921 --> 00:10:24,241
Uh, take Arnold
Horshack, for instance.
213
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:27,270
Once you get past that
Roy Rogers lunchbox,
214
00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:28,294
he's all man.
215
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:33,798
But... I get such
good vibes from you.
216
00:10:34,901 --> 00:10:36,145
Oh, these? Well, uh...
217
00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:38,681
I mean, I don't really
have good vibes. Uh...
218
00:10:38,705 --> 00:10:39,815
In fact, when I was young,
219
00:10:39,839 --> 00:10:41,517
my mother had to put
braces on my vibes.
220
00:10:42,909 --> 00:10:45,410
My wife. She calls
me Barry Bad Vibes.
221
00:10:46,946 --> 00:10:48,524
You're married?
222
00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:50,526
Yes, I'm married. I'm married.
223
00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:52,094
How many times?
224
00:10:52,118 --> 00:10:54,296
Just once. Oh, how boring.
225
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,680
My father's been
married five times. Eh-huh.
226
00:10:57,424 --> 00:10:58,501
So, uh...
227
00:10:58,525 --> 00:11:00,202
Wha... What are you
doing after school?
228
00:11:00,226 --> 00:11:02,471
I'm gonna just finish
229
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:05,107
erasing the blackboard
with my sweater.
230
00:11:05,131 --> 00:11:06,808
♪ Welcome back ♪
231
00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:07,832
♪ Your dreams... ♪
232
00:11:11,971 --> 00:11:13,115
Hi, honey.
233
00:11:13,139 --> 00:11:14,183
Hi.
234
00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:17,086
Anything interesting
happen today?
235
00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:18,390
No, not much.
236
00:11:19,145 --> 00:11:20,145
You're sure?
237
00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:22,094
Sure I'm sure.
238
00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:23,593
Good.
239
00:11:23,617 --> 00:11:25,583
I knew I had nothing
to worry about.
240
00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:27,305
Why?
241
00:11:27,820 --> 00:11:29,365
Oh, nothing.
242
00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:31,466
Just some girl named Sunshine
243
00:11:31,490 --> 00:11:33,569
called four times.
244
00:11:33,593 --> 00:11:37,027
Wanted to know if you could
go skinny-dipping with her.
245
00:11:41,568 --> 00:11:43,968
Do you have anything
to say for yourself?
246
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:45,848
Yes.
247
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:46,872
Can I go?
248
00:11:51,944 --> 00:11:54,790
Julie, Sunshine's this new
student of mine from California.
249
00:11:54,814 --> 00:11:56,058
She's been really coming on.
250
00:11:56,082 --> 00:11:57,559
You know, schoolgirl crush.
251
00:11:57,583 --> 00:11:58,683
She's a real teenybopper.
252
00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:04,742
Tell me... just how
"teeny" is this bopper?
253
00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:09,560
She's, I would say,
your average bopper.
254
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:11,937
Mm-hm.
255
00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:15,778
Look, she's really got
a terrific shape, and, uh,
256
00:12:15,802 --> 00:12:16,879
all the kids in class are
257
00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:17,980
climbing over each other
258
00:12:18,004 --> 00:12:19,448
to get next to her. And, uh,
259
00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:21,650
she's climbing over
them to get next to me.
260
00:12:21,674 --> 00:12:22,852
Oh.
261
00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:24,976
Well, all that climbing
should get her somewhere.
262
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,959
Julie, I told her I was married.
263
00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:31,427
And that stopped her?
264
00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:32,895
No. No.
265
00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:34,830
She likes a man with
a little experience.
266
00:12:34,854 --> 00:12:36,331
Mm-hm. Anybody that doesn't have
267
00:12:36,355 --> 00:12:38,835
a picture of Trigger
on his lunchbox.
268
00:12:41,828 --> 00:12:44,228
Julie, it's just an
adolescent flirtation.
269
00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:54,884
Okay.
270
00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:56,718
Why don't you
just explain to her
271
00:12:56,742 --> 00:12:59,421
that you're too old for her?
272
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:00,978
Use the old Kotter charm.
273
00:13:02,381 --> 00:13:04,314
Nothing else, she'll get
a good laugh out of it.
274
00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:08,096
I think you're right.
275
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:09,998
I'll go up to her and
say, "I'm too old for you.
276
00:13:10,022 --> 00:13:12,401
We can't run away together.
It just wouldn't work out."
277
00:13:12,425 --> 00:13:13,969
Right. I think
she'll understand.
278
00:13:13,993 --> 00:13:15,337
Mm-hm. I'll explain it to her.
279
00:13:15,361 --> 00:13:18,936
And if she doesn't...
I promise I'll write.
280
00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:30,486
Hi, Gabesy.
281
00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:33,912
Oh, I see little Sunshine has
crept into your life, Epstein.
282
00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:36,759
What are you doing?
283
00:13:36,783 --> 00:13:38,193
Chanting.
284
00:13:38,217 --> 00:13:40,919
Bambi says that if I chanted,
I can get whatever I want.
285
00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:43,933
Bambi. Bambi.
286
00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:47,603
Bambi. Bambi. Bambi. Bambi.
287
00:13:47,627 --> 00:13:50,294
♪ Hoorah for Hollywood ♪
288
00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:02,651
♪ La, la, la, la,
la, la Hollywood ♪
289
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:04,787
Hello, little girl.
290
00:14:07,413 --> 00:14:09,458
Wanna make a movie?
291
00:14:12,986 --> 00:14:14,263
Uh, Harry Hollywood...
292
00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:16,332
would you mind, uh,
leaving Sunset and Vine,
293
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:17,499
and going back to your seat?
294
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:19,268
I mean, we're
about to start class.
295
00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:22,259
Ready any time you say, CB. Heh.
296
00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:28,399
Listen... we'll have
lunch someday.
297
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:30,634
Chicky baby.
298
00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:39,688
♪ I don't care What
the white man say ♪
299
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:42,557
♪ Santa Claus Was a black man ♪
300
00:14:42,581 --> 00:14:44,993
♪ I don't care What
the white man say ♪
301
00:14:45,017 --> 00:14:48,097
♪ Santa Claus Was a black man ♪
302
00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:50,332
Hey, man. All right,
Freddie, what's your trip?
303
00:14:50,356 --> 00:14:52,890
No trip. Just good
health, nature's way.
304
00:14:54,026 --> 00:14:55,304
A natural life...
305
00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:58,273
of raisins, seeds, carrots.
306
00:14:58,297 --> 00:14:59,897
I got the cola nut.
307
00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:07,316
With a side order of ribs,
chitlin and potato salad,
308
00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:08,984
ham hocks and collard greens.
309
00:15:10,343 --> 00:15:12,383
And I'll wash it down
with some Kool-Aid.
310
00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:16,192
I gonna live to be a hundred.
311
00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:18,660
Terrific. You'll still
be in the 11th grade.
312
00:15:18,684 --> 00:15:21,130
♪ I don't care What
the white man say ♪
313
00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:23,120
♪ Santa Claus Is a black man ♪
314
00:15:24,123 --> 00:15:25,123
Hey, man.
315
00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:30,439
♪ I sing a-bar Bar, bar ♪
316
00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:32,441
♪ Bar, Barbarino ♪
317
00:15:32,465 --> 00:15:34,276
♪ A-bar, bar, bar ♪
318
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:35,945
♪ Bar, Barbarino ♪
319
00:15:35,969 --> 00:15:37,446
♪ Bar, bar, bar ♪
320
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:38,747
♪ Bar, Barbarin... ♪
321
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:40,282
♪ You got me
rocki" And a-reelin' ♪
322
00:15:40,306 --> 00:15:41,650
♪ And a-boppi" And a-beatin' ♪
323
00:15:41,674 --> 00:15:43,853
♪ Barbarino ♪
324
00:15:43,877 --> 00:15:45,521
♪ You got me
rocki" And a-reelin' ♪
325
00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:47,923
♪ And a-boppin' and
a-beatin' Barbarino ♪
326
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:49,191
♪ You got me rocki" Whoa ♪
327
00:15:49,215 --> 00:15:51,526
♪ You got me Reelin' ♪
328
00:15:51,550 --> 00:15:52,528
Folks.
329
00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:53,528
♪ Barbarino ♪
330
00:15:53,552 --> 00:15:54,792
Yeah, yeah.
331
00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:05,541
How do you like my song?
332
00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:08,477
Well, it's got a good beat,
but you can't dance to it.
333
00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:09,967
I give it a 35.
334
00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:12,805
Sit down.
335
00:16:13,872 --> 00:16:16,151
All right, show-and-tell
is over. Come on.
336
00:16:16,175 --> 00:16:18,454
Everybody get in,
let's get to work.
337
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:19,821
Epstein, why don't you, uh,
338
00:16:19,845 --> 00:16:21,723
float back into your chair.
339
00:16:21,747 --> 00:16:22,747
Sure.
340
00:16:27,219 --> 00:16:29,699
All right now.
341
00:16:30,023 --> 00:16:30,999
Yesterday, Bambi said
342
00:16:31,023 --> 00:16:32,934
she liked guys from California.
343
00:16:32,958 --> 00:16:35,239
And today, you're
all Troy Donahue.
344
00:16:35,929 --> 00:16:37,906
Can we start working
on social studies?
345
00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:39,608
Anything you say, Gabesy.
346
00:16:41,901 --> 00:16:43,045
All right, look.
347
00:16:43,069 --> 00:16:44,112
Don't call me Gabesy.
348
00:16:44,136 --> 00:16:45,547
Oh, you're right.
349
00:16:45,571 --> 00:16:47,649
It doesn't fit you at all.
350
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:51,008
I'm gonna call you
Captain Cosmic.
351
00:16:53,379 --> 00:16:55,539
On second thought,
call me Gabesy.
352
00:16:57,650 --> 00:16:58,650
You know...
353
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:01,864
when I'm with you, I feel...
354
00:17:01,888 --> 00:17:05,989
all... spacy and,
um, far-out weird.
355
00:17:07,126 --> 00:17:09,338
You know, when I'm with you,
356
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:14,443
I feel all far-out spacy
and weird, Gabesy.
357
00:17:19,605 --> 00:17:20,845
Sit down, Bambi.
358
00:17:22,308 --> 00:17:23,541
All right, Juansy.
359
00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:25,888
Let's get to work, okay?
360
00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:28,624
Right you are, Gabesy!
361
00:17:33,152 --> 00:17:34,992
All right, come on! That's it!
362
00:17:36,022 --> 00:17:38,200
Oh, Gabesy.
363
00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:41,137
You're so cute
when you're angry.
364
00:17:42,261 --> 00:17:43,961
Isn't he cute?
365
00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:49,611
Stop it.
366
00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:51,079
Stop it!
367
00:17:51,103 --> 00:17:52,848
Bambi, come outside
with me for minute.
368
00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:54,382
Dynamite!
369
00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:56,651
Whoa!
370
00:17:56,675 --> 00:17:59,054
Hey, uh... Um, um... Gabesy.
371
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:00,078
Gabesy.
372
00:18:01,647 --> 00:18:03,125
You better take some vitamin E,
373
00:18:03,149 --> 00:18:04,994
'cause you're not as
young as you used to be.
374
00:18:11,056 --> 00:18:13,702
Bambi, I want this
nonsense stopped right now.
375
00:18:13,726 --> 00:18:15,871
What nonsense, Gabesy?
376
00:18:15,895 --> 00:18:18,407
Look, don't call me
Gabesy! I'm your teacher.
377
00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:19,764
My name is Mr. Kotter.
378
00:18:20,966 --> 00:18:22,711
Don't have to get all huffy.
379
00:18:22,735 --> 00:18:25,947
I thought you,
um... liked me. Heh.
380
00:18:25,971 --> 00:18:27,804
Stop! Get back! Back! Back!
381
00:18:32,211 --> 00:18:33,411
Sit down over there.
382
00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:36,659
Bambi, I went to the
administration office
383
00:18:36,683 --> 00:18:38,727
this morning, and
I got your records.
384
00:18:38,751 --> 00:18:41,463
Seems that you're not
from California at all.
385
00:18:41,487 --> 00:18:43,265
You're originally
from Lubbock, Texas.
386
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:45,734
And you cause trouble
wherever you go.
387
00:18:45,758 --> 00:18:47,369
When in school in Wyoming,
388
00:18:47,393 --> 00:18:50,071
you alone caused a
small-scale range war
389
00:18:50,095 --> 00:18:52,135
between the cattlemen
and the sheep men.
390
00:18:54,166 --> 00:18:55,410
Mr. Kotter...
391
00:18:55,434 --> 00:18:58,146
there are a lot of things
my records don't say.
392
00:18:58,170 --> 00:18:59,381
Like what?
393
00:18:59,405 --> 00:19:00,783
Like along with 11 schools
394
00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:02,618
came about 11
different relatives
395
00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,687
I got... shuffled around to.
396
00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:06,988
And then there were
also a lot of foster homes.
397
00:19:07,012 --> 00:19:08,556
Nobody ever cared.
398
00:19:08,580 --> 00:19:10,092
Especially my mother,
399
00:19:10,116 --> 00:19:12,036
who couldn't wait
to get rid of me.
400
00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:17,099
All right.
401
00:19:17,123 --> 00:19:19,668
Look, I understand
it hasn't been easy.
402
00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:21,337
What I'm just trying
to tell you is that
403
00:19:21,361 --> 00:19:23,321
you don't have to put
on this big act to be liked.
404
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:27,542
I'm only giving 'em
what they want...
405
00:19:27,566 --> 00:19:29,311
Gabesy.
406
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:30,846
It's not what they want.
407
00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:32,548
It's not what anybody wants.
408
00:19:32,572 --> 00:19:34,682
Bambi, that's not the
way to make friends.
409
00:19:34,706 --> 00:19:37,753
You have all these
guys bananas over you.
410
00:19:37,777 --> 00:19:40,689
What's gonna happen, though,
in 10 years when you're not 16.
411
00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:44,559
In 20 years, when you're 36,
40? You're not so cute anymore.
412
00:19:44,583 --> 00:19:45,927
The friends you're making now
413
00:19:45,951 --> 00:19:47,591
are not the kind
of friends that last.
414
00:19:53,059 --> 00:19:54,236
While you're swallowing,
415
00:19:54,260 --> 00:19:56,700
try to think about what I said.
416
00:19:59,265 --> 00:20:00,265
All right.
417
00:20:01,166 --> 00:20:02,166
I've thought about it.
418
00:20:08,741 --> 00:20:10,752
Hi, boys. Heh.
419
00:20:10,776 --> 00:20:12,955
Could you get little
ol' me my pencil.
420
00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:13,979
I forgot it.
421
00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:16,381
I got it!
422
00:20:19,986 --> 00:20:22,331
I got it! I got it!
423
00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:23,799
I got it! All right, freeze!
424
00:20:23,823 --> 00:20:24,823
Freeze!
425
00:20:27,827 --> 00:20:30,039
Look at them, Bambi. Huh?
426
00:20:30,063 --> 00:20:31,583
Not a pretty picture, is it?
427
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,811
Get out of my desk!
Come on, sit down!
428
00:20:35,835 --> 00:20:36,835
Sit down.
429
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:40,117
You're gonna clean all this up.
430
00:20:40,506 --> 00:20:41,539
Sit down, Epstein.
431
00:20:44,210 --> 00:20:46,522
All right, Bambi, it's
your decision to make.
432
00:20:46,546 --> 00:20:48,591
You want to cause
chaos wherever you go,
433
00:20:48,615 --> 00:20:50,935
or do you wanna
make real friends?
434
00:20:58,290 --> 00:20:59,290
Um...
435
00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:01,359
Look. Um...
436
00:21:02,728 --> 00:21:04,973
I-I've been doing a
number on all of you,
437
00:21:04,997 --> 00:21:05,997
and, um...
438
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:09,367
I'd like to apologize for that.
439
00:21:11,303 --> 00:21:13,637
I-I... lied.
440
00:21:14,674 --> 00:21:17,074
I'm not from California.
441
00:21:18,377 --> 00:21:20,817
I'm not from anywhere.
442
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:22,724
I just...
443
00:21:22,748 --> 00:21:25,068
wanted you all to
like me, and, um...
444
00:21:26,618 --> 00:21:31,599
I guess I just...
started trouble... again.
445
00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:33,625
I'm sorry.
446
00:21:35,194 --> 00:21:36,338
Hey.
447
00:21:36,362 --> 00:21:37,939
Look.
448
00:21:37,963 --> 00:21:40,576
It's not all your fault.
449
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:43,445
You see, sometimes, woman
have to do dumb things,
450
00:21:43,469 --> 00:21:46,036
especially when men
start acting like idiots.
451
00:21:48,540 --> 00:21:50,785
Well... I ain't gonna be eating
452
00:21:50,809 --> 00:21:52,776
no more of these
organic raisins.
453
00:21:56,014 --> 00:21:57,181
They go right through you.
454
00:22:01,854 --> 00:22:04,132
Better take this towel
back to my gym locker. Heh.
455
00:22:05,758 --> 00:22:08,118
Second thought, I better
take it home and get it washed.
456
00:22:10,662 --> 00:22:12,822
What am I doing with a
surfboard in Brooklyn?
457
00:22:14,367 --> 00:22:16,578
I mean, I could
have got a terrific tie.
458
00:22:16,602 --> 00:22:17,979
It glows in the dark.
459
00:22:18,003 --> 00:22:19,763
It said, "Italian power."
460
00:22:22,074 --> 00:22:23,074
Bambi.
461
00:22:25,545 --> 00:22:28,412
Does this mean I don't
got no aura no more?
462
00:22:30,082 --> 00:22:31,593
No, Arnold.
463
00:22:31,617 --> 00:22:33,257
You still have your aura.
464
00:22:33,953 --> 00:22:36,165
And it's beautiful.
465
00:22:36,189 --> 00:22:37,499
Maybe your aura can glow
466
00:22:37,523 --> 00:22:39,963
in the dark like Vinnie's tie.
467
00:22:40,759 --> 00:22:41,737
Everybody!
468
00:22:41,761 --> 00:22:43,205
Attention, please!
469
00:22:43,229 --> 00:22:45,540
We have a new student
here I'd like to introduce you to,
470
00:22:45,564 --> 00:22:46,844
from Lubbock, Texas.
471
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:50,011
Uh, hello.
472
00:22:50,035 --> 00:22:52,202
My name is Bambi
Forster, and um...
473
00:22:53,272 --> 00:22:55,583
I hope we can all be friends.
474
00:22:55,607 --> 00:22:57,853
Hello, how are you?
475
00:22:57,877 --> 00:23:00,055
Now we got that out of the way,
476
00:23:00,079 --> 00:23:01,757
what do you say we
get to social studies?
477
00:23:03,115 --> 00:23:05,427
You're so funny, Mr. Kotter.
478
00:23:05,451 --> 00:23:07,651
I just love W.C. Fields.
479
00:23:09,288 --> 00:23:11,667
♪ Welcome back ♪
480
00:23:11,691 --> 00:23:14,369
♪ Your dreams
Were your ticket out ♪
481
00:23:14,393 --> 00:23:15,393
♪ Welcome... ♪
482
00:23:23,068 --> 00:23:24,768
Did I ever tell you
about my Uncle Herbie?
483
00:23:27,507 --> 00:23:29,251
No.
484
00:23:29,275 --> 00:23:31,754
But you probably will.
485
00:23:31,778 --> 00:23:34,255
Okay, my Uncle Herbie
likes to drink a lot, right?
486
00:23:34,279 --> 00:23:35,623
So he comes home one night,
487
00:23:35,647 --> 00:23:38,093
and my Aunt Estelle thinks
she's gonna teach him a lesson.
488
00:23:38,117 --> 00:23:39,894
She runs into the
closet, puts on a sheet
489
00:23:39,918 --> 00:23:42,464
and starts running around
the bedroom. She said,
490
00:23:42,488 --> 00:23:44,433
"You better stop drinking.
491
00:23:44,457 --> 00:23:46,301
"You better stop drinking.
492
00:23:46,325 --> 00:23:50,005
Oh, boy, you
better stop drinking."
493
00:23:50,029 --> 00:23:51,673
He Says, "Who are you?"
494
00:23:51,697 --> 00:23:55,410
She says, "I'm the devil,
you better stop drinking."
495
00:23:55,434 --> 00:23:57,501
"Shake hands. I
married your sister."
496
00:23:58,370 --> 00:24:01,116
♪ Welcome back ♪
497
00:24:01,140 --> 00:24:03,140
♪ Your dreams
Were your ticket... ♪
498
00:24:12,351 --> 00:24:15,030
♪ Welcome back ♪
499
00:24:15,054 --> 00:24:18,700
♪ Your dreams
Were your ticket out ♪
500
00:24:18,724 --> 00:24:20,902
♪ Welcome back ♪
501
00:24:20,926 --> 00:24:25,807
♪ To that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
502
00:24:25,831 --> 00:24:27,842
♪ Well, the names
Have all changed ♪
503
00:24:27,866 --> 00:24:30,045
♪ Since you hung around ♪
504
00:24:30,069 --> 00:24:32,314
♪ But those dreams
Have remained ♪
505
00:24:32,338 --> 00:24:34,783
♪ And they've turned around ♪
506
00:24:34,807 --> 00:24:36,884
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
507
00:24:36,908 --> 00:24:38,453
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
508
00:24:38,477 --> 00:24:40,688
♪ Back here Where we need ya? ♪
509
00:24:40,712 --> 00:24:42,791
♪ Back here Where we need ya? ♪
510
00:24:42,815 --> 00:24:44,926
♪ Yeah, we tease him a lot ♪
511
00:24:44,950 --> 00:24:47,095
♪ 'Cause we've got
him On the spot ♪
512
00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:49,364
♪ Welcome back ♪
513
00:24:49,388 --> 00:24:51,266
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
514
00:24:51,290 --> 00:24:53,668
♪ Welcome back ♪
515
00:24:53,692 --> 00:24:55,937
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
516
00:24:55,961 --> 00:24:58,039
♪ Yeah, we tease him A lot ♪
517
00:24:58,063 --> 00:25:00,275
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
518
00:25:00,299 --> 00:25:02,411
♪ 'Cause we've got
him On the spot ♪
519
00:25:02,435 --> 00:25:04,645
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
520
00:25:04,669 --> 00:25:06,848
♪ Yeah, we tease him A lot ♪
521
00:25:06,872 --> 00:25:08,571
♪ 'Cause we got
him On the spot... ♪
33992
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