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In the last episode of Soap,
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00:00:04,070 --> 00:00:06,071
Jessica hired Detective Donohue
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00:00:06,072 --> 00:00:08,073
to follow the trailof the missing Chester,
4
00:00:08,074 --> 00:00:10,075
but it appears Detective Donohue
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00:00:10,076 --> 00:00:12,578
would prefer to follow Jessica.
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00:00:12,579 --> 00:00:15,581
Danny and Burt began followingthe kidnappers' instructions,
7
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hoping they'll follow through
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00:00:17,083 --> 00:00:18,584
on their promiseto return Elaine.
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00:00:18,585 --> 00:00:20,085
Eunice and Dutch
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00:00:20,086 --> 00:00:22,087
are on their way to a farmin upstate New York
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00:00:22,088 --> 00:00:24,089
and hope the policewon't follow them,
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00:00:24,090 --> 00:00:26,091
and what with Elaine'skidnapping
13
00:00:26,092 --> 00:00:28,093
and Jodie's wedding plans,
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00:00:28,094 --> 00:00:30,095
it follows that Burt and Maryhaven't had time
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00:00:30,096 --> 00:00:33,098
to confront each otherabout their respective affairs.
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00:00:33,099 --> 00:00:34,099
Unable to follow all this?
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00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:35,601
You won't be
18
00:00:35,602 --> 00:00:37,122
after the following episodeof... Soap.
19
00:00:41,608 --> 00:00:43,609
This is the storyof two sisters,
20
00:00:43,610 --> 00:00:46,111
Jessica Tate
21
00:00:46,112 --> 00:00:48,614
and Mary Campbell.
22
00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:52,117
These are the Tates...
23
00:00:52,118 --> 00:00:55,621
and these are the Campbells.
24
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And this is... Soap.
25
00:01:21,648 --> 00:01:23,148
Yeah, uh-huh.
26
00:01:23,149 --> 00:01:26,151
Well, you ask a stupid question,
you get a stupid answer.
27
00:01:26,152 --> 00:01:28,153
Yeah.
28
00:01:28,154 --> 00:01:29,154
Which one of these phones
29
00:01:29,155 --> 00:01:30,656
are they gonna call on?
30
00:01:30,657 --> 00:01:32,658
They didn't say.
31
00:01:32,659 --> 00:01:34,159
I'd feel a lot easier
32
00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:35,661
if that lady'd get off the line.
33
00:01:39,165 --> 00:01:41,166
Excuse me, are you gonna be long?
Get out of here!
34
00:01:41,167 --> 00:01:43,168
Thank you.
35
00:01:43,169 --> 00:01:44,670
She'll just be a few minutes.
36
00:01:44,671 --> 00:01:46,171
They could be calling
any second now.
37
00:01:46,172 --> 00:01:47,172
Danny, please, relax.
38
00:01:47,173 --> 00:01:48,173
You take these four phones.
39
00:01:48,174 --> 00:01:49,675
I'll get these four.
40
00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:51,176
You've got a lot of nerve.
41
00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:52,177
How's it going, lady?
Rotate.
42
00:01:52,178 --> 00:01:54,680
Good to hear it.
43
00:01:54,681 --> 00:01:56,182
New Yorkers don't waste words.
44
00:01:58,184 --> 00:01:59,184
Uh-huh.
45
00:01:59,185 --> 00:02:00,185
Hey, lady,
46
00:02:00,186 --> 00:02:01,687
if you don't get off this phone,
47
00:02:01,688 --> 00:02:03,188
me and him are gonna kill you.
48
00:02:03,189 --> 00:02:04,690
Well, why didn't you say so?
49
00:02:04,691 --> 00:02:05,692
I'll call you later.
50
00:02:10,196 --> 00:02:11,196
Thanks.
51
00:02:12,198 --> 00:02:13,198
Okay.
52
00:02:13,199 --> 00:02:14,199
Those are mine.
Those are...
53
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:16,702
Hello. Yes?
54
00:02:16,703 --> 00:02:17,703
Hello.
55
00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:19,204
Hello. It's them.
56
00:02:19,205 --> 00:02:20,706
Yeah.
57
00:02:20,707 --> 00:02:22,207
Yeah, I've got it,
I've got all of it.
58
00:02:22,208 --> 00:02:23,709
But I'm not taking another step
59
00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:25,210
until I talk to Elaine.
60
00:02:25,211 --> 00:02:26,712
If that's not
too much trouble, sir.
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00:02:26,713 --> 00:02:28,213
They want to hear the broad say,
62
00:02:28,214 --> 00:02:29,214
"Hello, I'm fine."
63
00:02:29,215 --> 00:02:32,217
Give me the phone.
64
00:02:32,218 --> 00:02:33,719
Okay, loverboy,
65
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:35,220
so how do I know
you got the money?
66
00:02:35,221 --> 00:02:37,222
I've got it, I've got it,
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00:02:37,223 --> 00:02:40,726
but unless I hear from Elaine,
you'll never see it.
68
00:02:40,727 --> 00:02:41,727
Well, if we don't see it,
69
00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:42,728
you don't see her.
70
00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:44,229
And if we don't see her,
71
00:02:44,230 --> 00:02:45,230
you don't see the money.
72
00:02:45,231 --> 00:02:46,231
If I don't see the money,
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00:02:46,232 --> 00:02:47,232
you don't see her.
74
00:02:47,233 --> 00:02:48,734
No her, no money.
No money, no her.
75
00:02:48,735 --> 00:02:50,235
Fine.
Fine.
76
00:02:50,236 --> 00:02:52,238
It's fine with you.
It's fine with me.
77
00:02:54,741 --> 00:02:56,742
All right, look,
I've got it, every dime.
78
00:02:56,743 --> 00:02:59,745
Just tell me,
where do I make the drop, jerk?
79
00:02:59,746 --> 00:03:02,247
Don't you ever talk
to me like that again.
80
00:03:02,248 --> 00:03:05,250
Never again, sorry, never.
81
00:03:05,251 --> 00:03:06,251
Here.
82
00:03:06,252 --> 00:03:08,253
Watch your mouth.
83
00:03:08,254 --> 00:03:09,254
Danny?
84
00:03:09,255 --> 00:03:10,756
Elaine.
Thank God.
85
00:03:10,757 --> 00:03:11,757
Oh, Danny, Danny.
86
00:03:11,758 --> 00:03:13,258
Oh, God, I feel so bad.
87
00:03:13,259 --> 00:03:14,760
What's the matter?
Are they hurting you?
88
00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:16,762
Because if they touch
one hair on your head...
89
00:03:16,763 --> 00:03:17,763
No, no, no, honey,
honey, I'm fine.
90
00:03:17,764 --> 00:03:19,264
It's just...
I feel so bad
91
00:03:19,265 --> 00:03:20,766
about being so much trouble.
92
00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:21,767
Trouble?
93
00:03:21,768 --> 00:03:23,268
Baby, what are you
talking about?
94
00:03:23,269 --> 00:03:24,770
You're no trouble.
95
00:03:24,771 --> 00:03:26,271
I love you.
96
00:03:26,272 --> 00:03:28,774
Oh, l love you.
I love you.
97
00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:30,275
Oh, I love you.
I love you.
98
00:03:30,276 --> 00:03:32,277
I love you, Danny.
I love you.
99
00:03:32,278 --> 00:03:33,779
All right, all right,
you love each other.
100
00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:36,782
This call's costing a fortune.
101
00:03:36,783 --> 00:03:38,283
All right, look,
102
00:03:38,284 --> 00:03:39,284
here's where you make the drop.
103
00:03:39,285 --> 00:03:41,787
BOTH: Uh-huh.
104
00:03:41,788 --> 00:03:43,789
Uh-huh.
105
00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:45,791
Yeah.
106
00:03:45,792 --> 00:03:47,793
Yeah.
107
00:03:47,794 --> 00:03:50,295
Across from the...
108
00:03:50,296 --> 00:03:53,298
And behind a...
109
00:03:53,299 --> 00:03:54,800
Yeah.
110
00:03:54,801 --> 00:03:55,801
That's not how you spell that.
111
00:03:55,802 --> 00:03:58,804
How do you spell that?
112
00:03:58,805 --> 00:04:01,306
BOTH: Yeah.
113
00:04:01,307 --> 00:04:03,308
Okay.
114
00:04:03,309 --> 00:04:04,310
Got it.
115
00:04:06,813 --> 00:04:07,813
Bye-bye.
116
00:04:09,315 --> 00:04:10,315
Well, Danny,
117
00:04:10,316 --> 00:04:11,316
there's nothing to do now
118
00:04:11,317 --> 00:04:13,319
but... just wait
for tomorrow.
119
00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:23,829
I really love her.
120
00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:26,331
I know, Danny.
121
00:04:26,332 --> 00:04:27,333
Come on.
122
00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:46,852
Dutch?
123
00:04:46,853 --> 00:04:48,353
Yeah?
124
00:04:48,354 --> 00:04:49,354
This is
125
00:04:49,355 --> 00:04:50,856
your grandmother's farmhouse?
126
00:04:50,857 --> 00:04:51,857
Yeah.
127
00:04:51,858 --> 00:04:53,859
It's awful.
128
00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:57,362
It's... It's a pigsty.
129
00:04:57,363 --> 00:04:59,364
She sure let it go to pot.
130
00:04:59,365 --> 00:05:00,866
Eunice,
she wasn't a bad housekeeper.
131
00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:02,868
She's been dead for 10 years.
132
00:05:02,869 --> 00:05:04,870
Well, let's talk about it later.
133
00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:06,371
I've got to go to the bathroom.
134
00:05:06,372 --> 00:05:07,873
Ugh.
135
00:05:10,877 --> 00:05:11,877
Dutch.
136
00:05:11,878 --> 00:05:12,878
Yeah.
137
00:05:12,879 --> 00:05:14,379
There's no bathroom.
138
00:05:14,380 --> 00:05:16,381
Of course there's a bathroom.
139
00:05:16,382 --> 00:05:18,383
There's got to be a bathroom.
140
00:05:18,384 --> 00:05:20,886
There's no bathroom.
141
00:05:20,887 --> 00:05:22,387
So, what did your grandmother
die of?
142
00:05:22,388 --> 00:05:23,889
Kidney disease?
143
00:05:25,892 --> 00:05:26,892
I forgot.
144
00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:27,893
Look here.
145
00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:28,894
You see that
146
00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:29,895
over there by the tree?
147
00:05:29,896 --> 00:05:30,896
That's the outhouse.
148
00:05:30,897 --> 00:05:31,897
Outhouse?
149
00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:33,398
Yeah.
150
00:05:33,399 --> 00:05:34,900
That's where people
go to the bathroom?
151
00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:36,401
Right.
152
00:05:36,402 --> 00:05:37,402
Forget it.
153
00:05:37,403 --> 00:05:39,905
You're the one who has to
go to the bathroom, not me.
154
00:05:41,407 --> 00:05:42,908
What, what?
155
00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:44,410
A tarantula.
156
00:05:45,912 --> 00:05:48,413
What are you doing up here?
157
00:05:48,414 --> 00:05:49,414
What do you mean,
158
00:05:49,415 --> 00:05:50,916
what am I doing up here?
159
00:05:50,917 --> 00:05:52,918
You said, "There's
a tarantula."
160
00:05:52,919 --> 00:05:54,419
You're a man.
161
00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:56,922
You're not supposed to be afraid
of a tarantula.
162
00:05:56,923 --> 00:05:59,424
Like hell I'm not.
163
00:05:59,425 --> 00:06:00,926
I can't stand things like that,
164
00:06:00,927 --> 00:06:01,927
spiders and stuff.
165
00:06:01,928 --> 00:06:04,429
Blech.
166
00:06:04,430 --> 00:06:07,933
Dutch, you've got to kill it.
167
00:06:07,934 --> 00:06:09,434
You've got to be kidding.
168
00:06:09,435 --> 00:06:11,937
That means I have
to get close to it?
169
00:06:11,938 --> 00:06:13,939
Well, you killed a man,
for God's sake.
170
00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:15,941
You can kill a tarantula.
171
00:06:15,942 --> 00:06:17,943
That's probably not a tarantula.
172
00:06:17,944 --> 00:06:19,444
You know that, don't you?
173
00:06:19,445 --> 00:06:20,445
Oh, that's a tarantula,
174
00:06:20,446 --> 00:06:21,947
all right.
175
00:06:21,948 --> 00:06:23,448
There's no tarantulas
in New York State.
176
00:06:23,449 --> 00:06:24,449
Oh, really?
177
00:06:24,450 --> 00:06:25,450
What do they do?
178
00:06:25,451 --> 00:06:26,952
Walk through Jersey,
179
00:06:26,953 --> 00:06:27,953
get to
the George Washington Bridge
180
00:06:27,954 --> 00:06:30,456
and say,
"That's as far as we go"?
181
00:06:32,959 --> 00:06:35,460
Dutch, what are you gonna do?
182
00:06:35,461 --> 00:06:36,461
I'm gonna kill it.
183
00:06:36,462 --> 00:06:37,963
Can't stay up there forever.
184
00:06:42,468 --> 00:06:43,969
Aaugh!
185
00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:45,470
That's not a tarantula.
186
00:06:45,471 --> 00:06:47,973
That's a black widow spider.
187
00:06:47,974 --> 00:06:48,974
Why didn't you kill it?
188
00:06:48,975 --> 00:06:50,475
Why didn't I kill it?
189
00:06:50,476 --> 00:06:51,476
Do you know how poisonous
190
00:06:51,477 --> 00:06:53,478
those things are?
191
00:06:53,479 --> 00:06:54,980
Well, he's probably
much more afraid of us
192
00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:56,481
than we are of him.
193
00:06:56,482 --> 00:06:57,983
Oh, yeah, sure.
194
00:06:57,984 --> 00:06:58,984
Then how come we're the ones
195
00:06:58,985 --> 00:07:01,486
up on the table?
196
00:07:01,487 --> 00:07:03,488
Dutch,
197
00:07:03,489 --> 00:07:05,490
why don't you just
jump off the table
198
00:07:05,491 --> 00:07:06,491
and land on him?
199
00:07:06,492 --> 00:07:07,492
Huh?
200
00:07:07,493 --> 00:07:09,494
Okay, come on.
Come on, come on.
201
00:07:09,495 --> 00:07:10,996
Go ahead.
202
00:07:10,997 --> 00:07:11,997
Okay, okay.
Jump.
203
00:07:11,998 --> 00:07:13,499
Okay.
204
00:07:18,004 --> 00:07:19,504
What if that doesn't kill him?
205
00:07:19,505 --> 00:07:21,506
Dutch, you weigh 180 pounds.
206
00:07:21,507 --> 00:07:23,008
You'd kill a buffalo.
207
00:07:23,009 --> 00:07:24,509
Now, go on.
208
00:07:24,510 --> 00:07:26,011
Jump.
209
00:07:28,514 --> 00:07:30,015
Did you kill him?
210
00:07:30,016 --> 00:07:32,018
I don't know.
I don't feel him breathing.
211
00:07:37,523 --> 00:07:39,024
Not under that foot.
212
00:07:41,027 --> 00:07:42,027
Uh-oh.
213
00:07:42,028 --> 00:07:43,028
What?
214
00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:47,032
He's not under that foot either.
215
00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:48,033
Oh, God.
216
00:07:48,034 --> 00:07:49,034
What?
217
00:07:49,035 --> 00:07:50,535
He's crawling up my leg.
218
00:07:50,536 --> 00:07:52,537
Oh, he's not. He's not
crawling up your leg.
219
00:07:52,538 --> 00:07:54,039
He is, he is.
He's crawling up my leg.
220
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:56,041
He's gonna bite me and kill me.
221
00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:58,543
No. Dutch.
222
00:07:58,544 --> 00:08:00,045
Dutch, stand still.
223
00:08:00,046 --> 00:08:01,546
You're gonna antagonize him.
224
00:08:01,547 --> 00:08:02,547
Oh.
225
00:08:02,548 --> 00:08:04,049
Oh, God.
226
00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:05,551
What?
227
00:08:09,555 --> 00:08:11,056
It bit me.
228
00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:12,557
I felt a bite.
229
00:08:12,558 --> 00:08:13,558
This is it, Eunice.
230
00:08:13,559 --> 00:08:15,560
I can feel the poison
coming up my legs.
231
00:08:15,561 --> 00:08:17,062
It's going right to my heart.
232
00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:18,563
He bit me, he bit me.
233
00:08:18,564 --> 00:08:20,065
I'm a dead man!
234
00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:22,567
Where did he bite you?
235
00:08:22,568 --> 00:08:24,069
On my leg.
236
00:08:25,571 --> 00:08:27,572
I've probably only got
a couple of minutes
237
00:08:27,573 --> 00:08:29,074
to live.
238
00:08:29,075 --> 00:08:30,075
There's nothing there.
239
00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:32,077
What do you mean,
there's nothing there?
240
00:08:32,078 --> 00:08:33,078
There's nothing on your leg.
241
00:08:33,079 --> 00:08:35,080
Eunice, don't joke
with a dying person.
242
00:08:35,081 --> 00:08:36,081
That ain't nice.
243
00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:38,583
Would you walk?
244
00:08:43,089 --> 00:08:44,089
What, what?
245
00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:46,592
I killed him, I killed him.
246
00:08:49,095 --> 00:08:51,096
I was standing on him.
247
00:08:51,097 --> 00:08:52,597
Where you going?
248
00:08:52,598 --> 00:08:54,099
To the outhouse.
249
00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:57,603
If I can kill a spider,
I can handle the outhouse.
250
00:09:02,608 --> 00:09:04,610
"Into the mystifying oracles..."
251
00:09:06,612 --> 00:09:08,113
Oh, Benson, good.
Sit down a minute.
252
00:09:08,114 --> 00:09:09,114
Why?
253
00:09:09,115 --> 00:09:11,616
I want you to work this with me.
What is it?
254
00:09:11,617 --> 00:09:14,619
It's a Ouija Board.
It tells the future.
255
00:09:14,620 --> 00:09:15,621
Get out of here.
256
00:09:17,623 --> 00:09:21,126
No, Benson, come on, now.
Just for a second.
257
00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:22,127
What does it do?
258
00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:23,628
Well, first of all,
259
00:09:23,629 --> 00:09:25,630
we have to put
our fingers on it.
260
00:09:25,631 --> 00:09:28,133
Oh, no, not like that.
261
00:09:28,134 --> 00:09:29,634
Gently, like this.
262
00:09:29,635 --> 00:09:32,137
See?
263
00:09:32,138 --> 00:09:33,638
Now, I ask it questions,
264
00:09:33,639 --> 00:09:35,640
and it spells out the answers.
265
00:09:35,641 --> 00:09:38,143
You paid money for this?
266
00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:41,146
Ready?
Yeah.
267
00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:42,148
Now?
Yeah.
268
00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:45,150
What is Benson
269
00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:47,652
going to cook for dinner?
270
00:09:47,653 --> 00:09:49,654
You could've just asked me
271
00:09:49,655 --> 00:09:52,157
instead of
spending money on this.
272
00:09:52,158 --> 00:09:54,159
Nothing's happening.
273
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,162
I guess I ain't cooking.
274
00:09:58,164 --> 00:10:00,165
Give it a minute.
275
00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:01,666
Forget it.
276
00:10:01,667 --> 00:10:04,169
It probably don't move
for black people.
277
00:10:06,172 --> 00:10:07,672
Hi. I let myself in.
278
00:10:07,673 --> 00:10:09,674
Good, now you can let
yourself out.
279
00:10:09,675 --> 00:10:11,176
Oh, Benson,
can I get something to drink?
280
00:10:11,177 --> 00:10:12,177
No.
281
00:10:12,178 --> 00:10:13,678
Oh, good, thank you.
282
00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:15,681
I'd probably spill it.
283
00:10:17,683 --> 00:10:19,184
Detective Donohue,
284
00:10:19,185 --> 00:10:20,685
I have a surprise for you.
285
00:10:20,686 --> 00:10:22,187
And I have a surprise for you.
286
00:10:22,188 --> 00:10:23,188
I found a bandage
287
00:10:23,189 --> 00:10:24,189
that probably belonged
to your husband
288
00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:25,190
at the train station.
289
00:10:25,191 --> 00:10:27,192
I think he's headed
toward New York.
290
00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:30,195
Oh, let's ask the Ouija Board.
291
00:10:30,196 --> 00:10:31,196
It'll tell us.
292
00:10:31,197 --> 00:10:32,197
Ouija Board?
293
00:10:32,198 --> 00:10:34,199
Mm-hmm.
That's my surprise.
294
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:35,701
No kidding?
295
00:10:37,203 --> 00:10:39,704
Well, that's sure gonna save me
a lot of work.
296
00:10:39,705 --> 00:10:41,706
Now I can conduct
the entire investigation
297
00:10:41,707 --> 00:10:42,707
from the kitchen.
298
00:10:42,708 --> 00:10:44,709
You don't believe in it, do you?
299
00:10:44,710 --> 00:10:45,710
No.
300
00:10:45,711 --> 00:10:46,711
Well, do you think
301
00:10:46,712 --> 00:10:48,213
that you'll find Chester?
302
00:10:48,214 --> 00:10:50,715
Well, I've found everyone
I've ever looked for,
303
00:10:50,716 --> 00:10:51,716
except for one person.
304
00:10:51,717 --> 00:10:53,218
Who?
305
00:10:53,219 --> 00:10:54,219
My ex-wife.
306
00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:56,221
What happened to her?
307
00:10:56,222 --> 00:10:57,722
She ran off with my partner.
308
00:10:57,723 --> 00:10:58,723
No...
309
00:10:58,724 --> 00:11:01,226
We owned a detective agency
together, he and I,
310
00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:02,727
for 10 years.
311
00:11:02,728 --> 00:11:05,230
Then one day,
he and my wife disappeared,
312
00:11:05,231 --> 00:11:07,732
along with most of our earnings.
313
00:11:07,733 --> 00:11:10,235
See, he was screwing around
with the books too.
314
00:11:13,739 --> 00:11:15,240
You never found them?
315
00:11:15,241 --> 00:11:16,241
Nah, I never looked.
316
00:11:16,242 --> 00:11:17,742
See, in the beginning,
317
00:11:17,743 --> 00:11:20,245
I was so hurt,
I couldn't bring myself to,
318
00:11:20,246 --> 00:11:21,246
and after a while,
319
00:11:21,247 --> 00:11:22,747
I was so angry,
I didn't want to.
320
00:11:22,748 --> 00:11:24,249
How terrible.
321
00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:26,251
Nah, it's okay, it's fine.
322
00:11:26,252 --> 00:11:28,754
The house is quiet.
There's no hair in the sink.
323
00:11:30,256 --> 00:11:31,756
Well, don't you worry.
324
00:11:31,757 --> 00:11:33,758
Someday, you'll find someone.
325
00:11:33,759 --> 00:11:34,759
I already have.
326
00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:36,761
Oh, see that?
Isn't that nice?
327
00:11:36,762 --> 00:11:38,763
It stinks. I hate it.
328
00:11:38,764 --> 00:11:41,266
I wish I'd never met her.
I'm a wreck.
329
00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:42,267
If that woman knew
330
00:11:42,268 --> 00:11:44,269
what she was doing to me...
331
00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:46,271
You mean, she doesn't know?
332
00:11:46,272 --> 00:11:47,272
Of course not.
333
00:11:47,273 --> 00:11:49,274
Well, you'll have to tell her
334
00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:50,275
how you feel.
335
00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:51,276
I can't tell her how I feel.
336
00:11:51,277 --> 00:11:52,777
Oh, of course you can.
337
00:11:52,778 --> 00:11:53,778
No, I can't.
338
00:11:53,779 --> 00:11:55,280
You just tell her.
339
00:11:55,281 --> 00:11:56,281
I love you.
340
00:11:56,282 --> 00:11:57,282
You see?
341
00:11:57,283 --> 00:11:59,284
Yes, just say it out, like that.
342
00:11:59,285 --> 00:12:01,286
She'll love hearing it.
Believe me.
343
00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:02,287
I love you.
344
00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:05,290
Good, goodie.
It sounds good, huh?
345
00:12:05,291 --> 00:12:07,293
You, I love you.
346
00:12:15,301 --> 00:12:17,302
Me?
347
00:12:17,303 --> 00:12:18,303
See what I mean?
348
00:12:18,304 --> 00:12:19,804
Sorry, I knew I shouldn't
have said it.
349
00:12:19,805 --> 00:12:21,306
You forced me.
350
00:12:21,307 --> 00:12:22,307
I'm leaving. Goodbye.
Where's the door?
351
00:12:22,308 --> 00:12:24,309
Me?
You.
352
00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:25,310
No.
353
00:12:25,311 --> 00:12:27,312
Yes.
Really?
354
00:12:27,313 --> 00:12:28,813
What do you think?
355
00:12:28,814 --> 00:12:30,315
I'd make something like that up?
356
00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:32,817
Ooh... this is terrible.
357
00:12:32,818 --> 00:12:34,319
Well, I don't know
how terrible it is.
358
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:35,320
I'm not that bad.
359
00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:36,821
Oh, no, I don't mean that,
360
00:12:36,822 --> 00:12:40,325
but if you feel the way
you say you feel,
361
00:12:40,326 --> 00:12:42,827
how hard are you going to look
for Chester?
362
00:12:42,828 --> 00:12:43,828
Very hard.
363
00:12:43,829 --> 00:12:46,831
I'd rather compete with the man
than with the memory.
364
00:12:46,832 --> 00:12:47,832
Don't worry, Mrs. Tate.
365
00:12:47,833 --> 00:12:49,834
I promise,
you'll get your husband,
366
00:12:49,835 --> 00:12:52,337
and then...
367
00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:53,839
I'll get you.
368
00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:11,356
Nervous, huh?
369
00:13:11,357 --> 00:13:12,857
Well, I...
370
00:13:12,858 --> 00:13:14,359
Don't be. It's the happiest day
of your life.
371
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:15,860
Remember that.
Yeah, I know...
372
00:13:15,861 --> 00:13:17,362
It was the happiest day
of my life once.
373
00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:19,364
It's the happiest day
of your mother's life right now.
374
00:13:19,365 --> 00:13:20,365
That true, Mary?
375
00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:23,868
You see? So don't be nervous.
376
00:13:23,869 --> 00:13:24,869
You nervous?
A little.
377
00:13:24,870 --> 00:13:27,872
Don't be. It's the happiest day
of your life.
378
00:13:27,873 --> 00:13:28,873
You nervous, Burt?
379
00:13:28,874 --> 00:13:30,375
No, I've been through this
all before.
380
00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:31,876
Yeah, I'm pretty nervous.
381
00:13:31,877 --> 00:13:33,378
Don't you be nervous,
382
00:13:33,379 --> 00:13:34,379
because you're marrying
a wonderful girl,
383
00:13:34,380 --> 00:13:35,880
and the entire family's
crazy about her, so...
384
00:13:35,881 --> 00:13:36,881
Isn't that true, Mary?
385
00:13:38,884 --> 00:13:40,445
See what I mean?
We're all tickled pink.
386
00:13:43,889 --> 00:13:46,891
Oh, Ma, Ma, you all right?
387
00:13:46,892 --> 00:13:47,892
Oh, great.
388
00:13:47,893 --> 00:13:49,894
Is that happy crying
or unhappy crying?
389
00:13:49,895 --> 00:13:51,396
You know, I've never
been able to tell
390
00:13:51,397 --> 00:13:52,897
the difference.
391
00:13:52,898 --> 00:13:54,399
Yes.
392
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:55,400
Yes?
393
00:13:55,401 --> 00:13:56,901
It's both.
394
00:13:56,902 --> 00:13:57,902
I'm happy
395
00:13:57,903 --> 00:13:58,903
because you're getting married,
Jodie,
396
00:13:58,904 --> 00:14:01,906
but... I'm losing my baby.
397
00:14:01,907 --> 00:14:03,908
Ma, you're not losing me.
398
00:14:03,909 --> 00:14:05,410
I'm right here.
399
00:14:05,411 --> 00:14:06,411
You'll move out.
400
00:14:06,412 --> 00:14:07,412
I'll never see you.
401
00:14:07,413 --> 00:14:09,915
Ma, I moved out months ago...
402
00:14:12,418 --> 00:14:13,418
And you still see me.
403
00:14:13,419 --> 00:14:16,421
I mean, today's
a perfect example.
404
00:14:16,422 --> 00:14:17,423
Look this way.
405
00:14:19,925 --> 00:14:21,426
What do you see?
406
00:14:21,427 --> 00:14:22,427
You.
407
00:14:22,428 --> 00:14:23,929
See?
408
00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:29,434
Just let me explain
something to you now.
409
00:14:29,435 --> 00:14:31,936
Now, you know I'm not very big
on father-son lectures, right?
410
00:14:31,937 --> 00:14:34,439
But women are different
than men.
411
00:14:37,443 --> 00:14:39,444
I suppose you understand that
more than anybody,
412
00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:41,405
having dealt with it
from both sides, so to speak.
413
00:14:43,449 --> 00:14:44,449
No, I mean up here,
414
00:14:44,450 --> 00:14:46,451
you know,
it's up here they're different.
415
00:14:46,452 --> 00:14:47,952
For instance, sometimes,
if you're nice to them,
416
00:14:47,953 --> 00:14:49,454
right away, they get suspicious,
417
00:14:49,455 --> 00:14:50,955
and then
if you treat them rotten,
418
00:14:50,956 --> 00:14:51,956
they think
they did something wrong,
419
00:14:51,957 --> 00:14:53,458
and they feel great, you see?
420
00:14:53,459 --> 00:14:54,959
That is one of
the more ridiculous things
421
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:56,461
I've ever heard.
422
00:14:56,462 --> 00:14:58,463
Please, Mary, I know
what I'm talking about here.
423
00:14:58,464 --> 00:14:59,464
They contradict a lot too.
424
00:14:59,465 --> 00:15:00,965
You say, "blue."
They say, "green."
425
00:15:00,966 --> 00:15:01,966
Totally untrue.
426
00:15:01,967 --> 00:15:03,468
See that?
427
00:15:03,469 --> 00:15:04,469
Okay, that's it.
428
00:15:04,470 --> 00:15:06,472
See you out there, Jodie.
429
00:15:08,474 --> 00:15:09,975
Thanks, Burt.
430
00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:16,481
Uh... you know, Ma,
I am a little nervous.
431
00:15:16,482 --> 00:15:17,983
I know.
432
00:15:21,487 --> 00:15:22,988
I hope I'm doing
the right thing.
433
00:15:24,990 --> 00:15:28,493
I think you're going to make
a terrific married person.
434
00:15:30,996 --> 00:15:33,998
Ah, there you are.
435
00:15:33,999 --> 00:15:35,500
Everything okay?
436
00:15:35,501 --> 00:15:38,002
No, Aunt Jessie
just sewed herself to Carol.
437
00:15:38,003 --> 00:15:40,004
Do you think maybe you could go
and undo them?
438
00:15:40,005 --> 00:15:42,006
Yes.
439
00:15:42,007 --> 00:15:43,508
I'll see you later.
440
00:15:43,509 --> 00:15:45,010
Yeah.
441
00:15:53,018 --> 00:15:56,521
Hey, you son of a gun, you.
442
00:15:56,522 --> 00:15:57,522
Hey.
443
00:15:57,523 --> 00:15:58,523
You nervous?
Yeah, a little.
444
00:15:58,524 --> 00:16:00,024
Well, don't be,
445
00:16:00,025 --> 00:16:02,527
because today is
the happiest day of your life.
446
00:16:04,029 --> 00:16:06,030
I heard.
447
00:16:06,031 --> 00:16:08,032
You sure you're holding up okay?
448
00:16:08,033 --> 00:16:09,534
Yeah.
449
00:16:09,535 --> 00:16:11,536
How about you?
450
00:16:11,537 --> 00:16:13,538
Okay, okay.
451
00:16:13,539 --> 00:16:15,039
There's not much left to do
452
00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:16,541
except follow instructions
453
00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:19,043
and wait.
454
00:16:19,044 --> 00:16:21,546
You know, Danny, you didn't
have to come here today.
455
00:16:21,547 --> 00:16:23,047
I would've understood.
456
00:16:23,048 --> 00:16:25,550
Hey, look,
we could all use a happy time
457
00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:26,551
right about now.
458
00:16:26,552 --> 00:16:27,552
I'm glad.
459
00:16:27,553 --> 00:16:29,053
Hey, listen,
460
00:16:29,054 --> 00:16:30,555
I'm not really big
461
00:16:30,556 --> 00:16:31,556
on giving brotherly advice,
462
00:16:31,557 --> 00:16:32,557
but...
463
00:16:32,558 --> 00:16:33,558
I have found
464
00:16:33,559 --> 00:16:35,059
from personal experience
465
00:16:35,060 --> 00:16:37,061
that if you treat a woman
466
00:16:37,062 --> 00:16:38,563
in a certain way,
467
00:16:38,564 --> 00:16:40,565
she'll respond in a certain way,
468
00:16:40,566 --> 00:16:43,568
so whatever you do,
469
00:16:43,569 --> 00:16:46,071
always treat Carol
in a certain way.
470
00:16:50,576 --> 00:16:51,576
Thanks, Danny.
471
00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:54,579
It'll pay off for you
in the end.
472
00:16:54,580 --> 00:16:55,580
It's good to know.
473
00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:59,584
Gee, isn't it something?
474
00:16:59,585 --> 00:17:00,585
I'm married.
475
00:17:00,586 --> 00:17:02,086
You're getting married.
476
00:17:02,087 --> 00:17:03,087
Remember when all we used
477
00:17:03,088 --> 00:17:04,589
to think about
478
00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:05,590
was whether Susie Spivak's...
479
00:17:05,591 --> 00:17:08,092
were real or not?
480
00:17:08,093 --> 00:17:09,594
They were.
481
00:17:14,099 --> 00:17:17,101
Ah, life was so simple then.
482
00:17:17,102 --> 00:17:19,604
Everything was so easy.
483
00:17:19,605 --> 00:17:21,606
At 6,
you were gonna be a fireman,
484
00:17:21,607 --> 00:17:24,609
and I was gonna be a dog.
485
00:17:24,610 --> 00:17:27,612
That's right,
486
00:17:27,613 --> 00:17:28,613
Big Alfred, the collie,
487
00:17:28,614 --> 00:17:31,616
who lived down the block.
488
00:17:31,617 --> 00:17:33,117
And then a year later,
489
00:17:33,118 --> 00:17:34,619
I was gonna be the president,
490
00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:36,621
and you were gonna take
Mickey Mantle's job
491
00:17:36,622 --> 00:17:37,622
away from him.
492
00:17:37,623 --> 00:17:39,624
You know, I'd still give
five years of my life
493
00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:41,126
to have my face
on a baseball card.
494
00:17:43,128 --> 00:17:45,129
"Dallas, Jodie.
Born: New York City.
495
00:17:45,130 --> 00:17:46,631
"Bats left, throws right.
496
00:17:46,632 --> 00:17:48,633
"Jodie once completed
four double plays in one game
497
00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:49,634
wearing high heels."
498
00:18:00,145 --> 00:18:02,647
Well, it's time. You ready?
499
00:18:02,648 --> 00:18:03,649
No.
500
00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:16,662
Now I'm ready, little brother.
501
00:18:21,667 --> 00:18:23,167
Hey, Alfred, come on, boy.
502
00:18:23,168 --> 00:18:25,169
Come on, come on.
503
00:18:33,178 --> 00:18:34,679
Hey, Jodie.
Hi, Billy.
504
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,180
Good luck.
Thanks.
505
00:18:36,181 --> 00:18:37,682
Does this mean I don't get to go
506
00:18:37,683 --> 00:18:39,183
to the Knick games
with you anymore?
507
00:18:39,184 --> 00:18:41,185
Why would you ever think
a thing like that?
508
00:18:41,186 --> 00:18:42,687
You won't have an extra ticket.
509
00:18:42,688 --> 00:18:44,188
Relax. Carol
hates basketball.
510
00:18:44,189 --> 00:18:47,192
That's great.
She's a terrific person.
511
00:18:51,697 --> 00:18:53,698
I'm letting you off guard duty
512
00:18:53,699 --> 00:18:55,701
tonight, private.
513
00:18:57,202 --> 00:18:59,704
Just be sure she's
out of the barracks
514
00:18:59,705 --> 00:19:01,206
by 0600.
515
00:19:32,738 --> 00:19:34,739
Maybe she's having
trouble with her gown.
516
00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:36,741
I'll... I'll go see.
Okay.
517
00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:47,752
Shouldn't she come out now?
518
00:19:47,753 --> 00:19:50,254
Would you?
519
00:19:50,255 --> 00:19:51,756
I wonder what's keeping her.
520
00:19:51,757 --> 00:19:53,258
Common sense.
521
00:21:33,358 --> 00:21:35,860
Uh...
522
00:21:35,861 --> 00:21:36,861
Excuse me, everybody,
523
00:21:36,862 --> 00:21:38,363
but, uh...
524
00:21:39,865 --> 00:21:42,367
It appears that there's not
gonna be a wedding today.
525
00:21:45,370 --> 00:21:48,373
We seem to be missing a bride.
526
00:21:52,878 --> 00:21:54,880
I'm sorry.
527
00:21:57,382 --> 00:21:59,383
I mean...
528
00:21:59,384 --> 00:22:00,885
you all came down here,
529
00:22:00,886 --> 00:22:02,386
and you all got dressed up
and everything,
530
00:22:02,387 --> 00:22:05,389
and, um... blew a Saturday,
531
00:22:05,390 --> 00:22:06,390
and...
532
00:22:07,893 --> 00:22:11,897
I wish
there was something I could do.
533
00:22:17,402 --> 00:22:19,403
A flower girl
offered to marry me,
534
00:22:19,404 --> 00:22:20,905
and her mother said no.
535
00:22:22,908 --> 00:22:25,910
Listen, um...
536
00:22:25,911 --> 00:22:26,911
You know what I think?
537
00:22:26,912 --> 00:22:29,914
Uh...
538
00:22:29,915 --> 00:22:31,415
Since we're all here anyway,
539
00:22:31,416 --> 00:22:35,920
and, uh,
we sure could use a party...
540
00:22:40,926 --> 00:22:42,426
Why don't we go
in the next room,
541
00:22:42,427 --> 00:22:46,430
take the dolls off the cake,
and get blitzed.
542
00:22:46,431 --> 00:22:48,432
What do you say?
543
00:22:48,433 --> 00:22:50,935
Okay?
544
00:23:21,888 --> 00:23:23,968
Will the kidnappers dropElaine off at the Campbells'
545
00:23:23,969 --> 00:23:25,970
after Danny and Burtmake the drop?
546
00:23:25,971 --> 00:23:27,471
Or will she haveto take the bus?
547
00:23:27,472 --> 00:23:30,474
Can Eunice really be happyliving on a farm with Dutch?
548
00:23:30,475 --> 00:23:32,476
Or will she miss Bloomingdale's?
549
00:23:32,477 --> 00:23:34,979
If Detective Donohuegets Chester,
550
00:23:34,980 --> 00:23:36,480
will he be able to get Jessica,
551
00:23:36,481 --> 00:23:38,482
or will she tell himto get lost?
552
00:23:38,483 --> 00:23:40,484
Where has Carol gone?
553
00:23:40,485 --> 00:23:41,485
What will Jodie do?
554
00:23:41,486 --> 00:23:42,987
And does this mean
555
00:23:42,988 --> 00:23:44,488
he has to returnthe wedding presents?
556
00:23:44,489 --> 00:23:45,990
These questions and many others
557
00:23:45,991 --> 00:23:47,631
will be answeredon the next episode of...
558
00:23:52,497 --> 00:23:56,000
Soap is videotapedbefore a studio audience.
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