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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
00:01:16,801 --> 00:01:18,900
I can't believe
we lost again.
2
00:01:19,434 --> 00:01:21,233
Well, it's not
your fault, honey.
3
00:01:21,267 --> 00:01:22,733
Youplayed great.
4
00:01:22,767 --> 00:01:24,400
You played great, too,
Mom.
5
00:01:24,434 --> 00:01:26,033
And you played
a good game too.
6
00:01:26,067 --> 00:01:27,999
Gee, if we all played
such a good game,
7
00:01:28,033 --> 00:01:30,067
I wonder why we lost.
8
00:01:36,100 --> 00:01:38,201
What are you lookin' at?
9
00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:41,067
Yeah, I know I made
a few errors.
10
00:01:42,767 --> 00:01:46,334
For instance,
one, two and three.
11
00:01:49,968 --> 00:01:52,433
I just have a couple
of nagging injuries, that's all.
12
00:01:52,467 --> 00:01:53,934
I'll be fine
for next week's game.
13
00:01:53,968 --> 00:01:55,468
Trust me.
14
00:01:56,367 --> 00:01:57,400
I'm still in my prime.
15
00:01:57,434 --> 00:01:59,001
Spasm! Help me!
16
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:03,200
Breathe through
the pain, Daddy.
17
00:02:03,234 --> 00:02:06,066
Breathe through the pain.
18
00:02:06,100 --> 00:02:07,600
Breathe.
19
00:02:07,634 --> 00:02:10,167
Yes.
20
00:02:12,868 --> 00:02:14,733
Aah.
21
00:02:14,767 --> 00:02:16,500
Ah, that's better.
22
00:02:16,534 --> 00:02:17,700
Okay, kids.
23
00:02:17,734 --> 00:02:19,533
Why don't you take
the bats downstairs.
24
00:02:19,567 --> 00:02:21,099
Somewhere out
of Daddy's reach.
25
00:02:21,133 --> 00:02:23,734
You know,
next to success?
26
00:02:26,501 --> 00:02:28,099
Honey, I just asked them
to leave
27
00:02:28,133 --> 00:02:30,033
because you know
I don't like insulting you
28
00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:31,333
in front of the children.
29
00:02:31,367 --> 00:02:32,600
But it was embarrassing,
30
00:02:32,634 --> 00:02:34,567
the way you missed everything
out there today.
31
00:02:34,601 --> 00:02:36,667
It was like you were
in the bathroom.
32
00:02:38,467 --> 00:02:39,433
Peg, I told you.
33
00:02:39,467 --> 00:02:41,200
It's all injury-related.
34
00:02:41,234 --> 00:02:43,600
Believe me, when I heal,
I'll be batting.400 again.
35
00:02:43,634 --> 00:02:46,134
In both cases.
36
00:02:46,634 --> 00:02:48,099
And I'll tell ya
something else.
37
00:02:48,133 --> 00:02:49,567
It wasn't me
who cost us that game.
38
00:02:49,601 --> 00:02:51,934
It was those stupid calls
by that stupid umpire.
39
00:02:51,968 --> 00:02:54,867
I really believe
it was personal, Peg.
40
00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:03,334
You stink.
41
00:03:04,133 --> 00:03:06,600
It was so much fun
calling you out.
42
00:03:06,634 --> 00:03:07,834
I know it was little,
43
00:03:07,868 --> 00:03:11,700
compared to the big out
God called on you...
44
00:03:11,734 --> 00:03:15,600
but still, it was worth
dressing up like a Ninja Turtle.
45
00:03:15,634 --> 00:03:19,633
I'm glad you're happy,
rooster bait.
46
00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:21,667
You're the reason
we lost.
47
00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:23,800
Your bad,
10-minute-long calls.
48
00:03:23,834 --> 00:03:24,934
Hey.
49
00:03:24,968 --> 00:03:28,099
A lot of fans feel
I add color to the game
50
00:03:28,133 --> 00:03:32,134
with my patented
steeeee-rike!
51
00:03:32,701 --> 00:03:34,733
Besides,
52
00:03:34,767 --> 00:03:36,467
it diverts attention
from you,
53
00:03:36,501 --> 00:03:38,166
slinking back to the dugout
54
00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:40,667
after yet another mighty whiff.
55
00:03:42,901 --> 00:03:45,900
Marcie, Al's had
a rough day.
56
00:03:46,434 --> 00:03:47,966
Why don't you just
sit down here,
57
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,533
and we'll talk
about something else.
58
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:57,500
You really stunk
today, Al.
59
00:03:57,534 --> 00:03:59,099
You know,
Al is so typical
60
00:03:59,133 --> 00:04:00,867
of a man
when he gets his age.
61
00:04:00,901 --> 00:04:03,233
In his head, he thinks
he's still young,
62
00:04:03,267 --> 00:04:04,767
but look at him.
63
00:04:04,801 --> 00:04:07,767
Two hundred pounds
of hairless, mindless,
64
00:04:07,801 --> 00:04:10,800
aging monkey meat.
65
00:04:13,267 --> 00:04:14,700
And you know,
that's just the part
66
00:04:14,734 --> 00:04:16,900
oozing between
the buttons.
67
00:04:18,901 --> 00:04:20,733
Oh, it's too bad
some men
68
00:04:20,767 --> 00:04:22,900
don't know how to give up
their sports gracefully,
69
00:04:22,934 --> 00:04:25,400
instead of lingering on
like big babies.
70
00:04:25,434 --> 00:04:26,533
Yeah, doggone it,
71
00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:28,400
if we could only be
comfortable with our age
72
00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:31,233
like you darn gals.
73
00:04:31,267 --> 00:04:33,533
You know, I mean in the morning
you go in the bathroom--
74
00:04:33,567 --> 00:04:35,200
A little blush,
a little mascara.
75
00:04:35,234 --> 00:04:36,467
-- and voilà.
76
00:04:36,501 --> 00:04:40,001
You got an old woman
scared of rain.
77
00:04:42,701 --> 00:04:44,333
Then you try
to clean-and-jerk
78
00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:47,368
your breasts
into a bra, and...
79
00:04:47,901 --> 00:04:49,567
ease some exercise pants
80
00:04:49,601 --> 00:04:52,733
over that front
and back belly,
81
00:04:52,767 --> 00:04:56,001
and go down to the market
and flirt with the bag boy.
82
00:04:56,667 --> 00:04:58,366
I guess what I'm trying
to say is,
83
00:04:58,400 --> 00:04:59,900
it's just pretty pathetic
84
00:04:59,934 --> 00:05:03,300
when we guys try
to cling to our youth.
85
00:05:03,334 --> 00:05:05,166
Well, I'll tell you
something about women
86
00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:06,467
you may not know.
87
00:05:06,501 --> 00:05:08,767
We always get even.
88
00:05:08,801 --> 00:05:11,767
So let's just take a look
at who's umpiring
89
00:05:11,801 --> 00:05:13,967
next week's
championship game.
90
00:05:14,467 --> 00:05:15,600
Well, jeez, Louise.
91
00:05:15,634 --> 00:05:17,800
It's me.
92
00:05:17,834 --> 00:05:19,166
It's a good thing
for you
93
00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:21,368
I'm big enough not
to hold a grudge.
94
00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:25,700
I'm gonna go home
and practice for the game.
95
00:05:25,734 --> 00:05:27,633
You're out!
96
00:05:27,667 --> 00:05:29,633
You'reout!
97
00:05:29,667 --> 00:05:31,266
You, sir, stink,
98
00:05:31,300 --> 00:05:33,400
andyou're out.
99
00:05:33,434 --> 00:05:34,400
Out.
100
00:05:34,434 --> 00:05:35,934
Out.
101
00:05:36,300 --> 00:05:37,800
Out!
102
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,533
Al, when you were talking
about women,
103
00:05:47,567 --> 00:05:50,034
you didn't mean me,
did ya?
104
00:05:52,567 --> 00:05:54,734
I never do.
105
00:05:56,133 --> 00:05:57,400
Thanks, honey.
106
00:05:57,434 --> 00:05:58,667
Well...
107
00:05:58,701 --> 00:06:00,633
Ow!
108
00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,200
I'm gonna go on upstairs
now and take a shower.
109
00:06:04,234 --> 00:06:05,200
What?
110
00:06:05,234 --> 00:06:07,633
After only three ballgames?
111
00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:13,001
Can't I take a shower
without there being a reason?
112
00:06:14,634 --> 00:06:15,966
And I don't want
to hear any more
113
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,600
about me losing that game.
114
00:06:17,634 --> 00:06:20,166
People say I'm getting old.
I'm not getting old!
115
00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:22,767
I can still do everything
I always did.
116
00:06:22,801 --> 00:06:26,334
God, how many more steps
are there?
117
00:06:28,067 --> 00:06:30,800
Well, we got the ice pack
on his back,
118
00:06:30,834 --> 00:06:31,966
heat pack
on his neck
119
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:35,001
and a six-pack
down his throat.
120
00:06:35,133 --> 00:06:36,500
So how is he?
121
00:06:36,534 --> 00:06:39,267
Sweaty, drunk and blue.
122
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:42,500
Gee, just like the night
we made you.
123
00:06:53,634 --> 00:06:54,867
Mrs. Bundy.
124
00:06:54,901 --> 00:06:56,500
Bundy children.
125
00:06:56,534 --> 00:06:57,667
Is your husband here?
126
00:06:57,701 --> 00:06:58,700
Tsk.
127
00:06:58,734 --> 00:07:01,800
No. I'm cooking feet
for dinner.
128
00:07:01,834 --> 00:07:02,800
Of course he's home.
129
00:07:02,834 --> 00:07:04,233
You want me
to go call him?
130
00:07:04,267 --> 00:07:06,700
No, no. We've got something
we want to talk over with you.
131
00:07:06,734 --> 00:07:09,700
As you know,
we still have high hopes
132
00:07:09,734 --> 00:07:11,800
to win the league
championship next week.
133
00:07:11,834 --> 00:07:13,700
Don't worry, Daddy says
that he'll be ready.
134
00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:15,099
Let's face facts.
135
00:07:15,133 --> 00:07:17,433
Your father stinks.
136
00:07:17,467 --> 00:07:19,600
I say we should dump
the old dog.
137
00:07:19,634 --> 00:07:20,934
Dump him?
138
00:07:20,968 --> 00:07:22,467
You can't.
139
00:07:22,501 --> 00:07:24,733
How 'bout if we just
move him to first base
140
00:07:24,767 --> 00:07:27,067
and not throw to him?
141
00:07:30,801 --> 00:07:34,867
What "The Say Duh Kid"
is trying to say...
142
00:07:34,901 --> 00:07:37,099
is that you can't take
softball away from Daddy.
143
00:07:37,133 --> 00:07:38,667
I mean why don't you
just lock him out
144
00:07:38,701 --> 00:07:40,433
of his own bathroom,
while you're at it?
145
00:07:40,467 --> 00:07:41,667
That's it.
146
00:07:41,701 --> 00:07:43,467
Leave the man with nothing,
why don't you?
147
00:07:43,501 --> 00:07:45,400
Oh, now, now,
easy, dear.
148
00:07:45,434 --> 00:07:47,300
They can't get rid
of your Dad.
149
00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:49,166
The championship game
is next week,
150
00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,966
and they cannot play
with one man short.
151
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,467
As luck would have it,
152
00:07:53,501 --> 00:07:55,333
we happened
on a replacement.
153
00:07:55,367 --> 00:07:57,200
We'd like you
to meet Sven.
154
00:07:57,234 --> 00:07:59,734
Oh, Sven!
155
00:08:13,167 --> 00:08:14,700
He bats.380,
156
00:08:14,734 --> 00:08:16,533
he's got a cannon
for an arm,
157
00:08:16,567 --> 00:08:20,266
and he runs like children
from your husband.
158
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:23,233
Now, all those in favor
of dumping Bundy,
159
00:08:23,267 --> 00:08:24,767
raise your hand.
160
00:08:30,801 --> 00:08:32,200
Oh.
161
00:08:32,234 --> 00:08:33,366
Gee.
162
00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:36,234
How'd that get up there?
163
00:08:40,334 --> 00:08:41,600
Mom.
164
00:08:41,634 --> 00:08:44,401
You're not really gonna
vote Dad out, are you?
165
00:08:46,267 --> 00:08:48,633
Honey, it's
for the championship.
166
00:08:48,667 --> 00:08:52,600
It has nothing to do
with playing with Sven.
167
00:08:52,634 --> 00:08:56,767
His tensed buttocks
in his tight uniform.
168
00:08:56,801 --> 00:09:02,800
The autumn sun glinting on
his glistening, heaving pecs.
169
00:09:03,334 --> 00:09:04,467
Come on, everybody.
170
00:09:04,501 --> 00:09:07,667
Let's welcome Sven
to the team.
171
00:09:08,167 --> 00:09:09,667
Ooh.
172
00:09:10,701 --> 00:09:12,734
Nice game, baby.
173
00:09:13,501 --> 00:09:15,166
What do you say, young Bundys?
174
00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:16,600
We need your votes.
175
00:09:16,634 --> 00:09:20,133
According to team rules,
the vote has to be unanimous.
176
00:09:20,167 --> 00:09:24,167
It can be unanimous or out loud.
177
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:27,433
I don't care.
178
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:29,066
You're still
not getting my vote.
179
00:09:29,100 --> 00:09:31,500
It's just like I wrote
in my fourth grade essay:
180
00:09:31,534 --> 00:09:34,967
Daddy good, sleepy now.
181
00:09:38,834 --> 00:09:40,533
Yeah.
182
00:09:40,567 --> 00:09:42,133
We don't care about winning.
183
00:09:42,167 --> 00:09:44,767
Now, that man loves the game,
and we love that man.
184
00:09:44,801 --> 00:09:46,333
Besides, if we voted
against him,
185
00:09:46,367 --> 00:09:49,433
he'd kick the living crap
out of us.
186
00:09:49,467 --> 00:09:51,366
You know, you'll have
to forgive the kids.
187
00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:55,567
They still think of Al
as their father.
188
00:09:56,100 --> 00:09:58,033
Hey, it's the team!
189
00:09:58,067 --> 00:09:59,700
Hey...
190
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:01,366
Ah, sorry, guys,
191
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:03,233
about that little slip-up
this afternoon,
192
00:10:03,267 --> 00:10:04,533
but, uh, don't worry
about me.
193
00:10:04,567 --> 00:10:06,834
I'll be there
for you next week.
194
00:10:06,868 --> 00:10:10,067
Who's the guy with the backpack
shaped like my wife?
195
00:10:17,834 --> 00:10:19,200
Your replacement.
196
00:10:19,234 --> 00:10:20,433
Oh, good.
197
00:10:20,467 --> 00:10:23,234
That way, I can concentrate
more on baseball.
198
00:10:26,968 --> 00:10:29,967
Watch that morning kiss, buddy.
199
00:10:30,734 --> 00:10:31,900
No-- No, Al.
200
00:10:31,934 --> 00:10:34,700
We meant your replacement
on the team. Uh--
201
00:10:34,734 --> 00:10:36,166
How can we put
this gently?
202
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:37,500
Uh--
We think
ya stink.
203
00:10:37,534 --> 00:10:39,067
Yeah.
204
00:10:39,901 --> 00:10:42,333
Oh, stink, do I?
205
00:10:42,367 --> 00:10:45,066
Let me paint
a picture for you.
206
00:10:45,100 --> 00:10:47,633
May 6, 1982.
207
00:10:47,667 --> 00:10:50,633
New Market Mallers,
0 and 10.
208
00:10:50,968 --> 00:10:52,600
But then,
209
00:10:52,634 --> 00:10:56,133
out of the shoe fields
came a fresh-faced kid,
210
00:10:56,167 --> 00:10:59,700
with fire in his eyes
and thunder in his back.
211
00:10:59,734 --> 00:11:01,368
Enter the Bundy era.
212
00:11:02,167 --> 00:11:03,834
Let's remember
some great moments
213
00:11:03,868 --> 00:11:05,266
from the man
whose jockstrap
214
00:11:05,300 --> 00:11:08,468
none of you
are fit to carry.
215
00:11:08,901 --> 00:11:11,600
Or get within
100 yards of.
216
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,266
Remember with me,
if you will,
217
00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:19,200
June 9, 1983.
218
00:11:19,234 --> 00:11:20,999
Game on the line.
219
00:11:21,033 --> 00:11:23,266
The opposing team drills
one in to left field,
220
00:11:23,300 --> 00:11:24,300
where you, Norris,
221
00:11:24,334 --> 00:11:26,099
were standing frozen.
222
00:11:26,133 --> 00:11:28,633
Bundy sprints to the fence
and spears it.
223
00:11:28,667 --> 00:11:32,167
Mallers win.
And Bundy? MVP.
224
00:11:33,133 --> 00:11:35,767
Let us remember now
Bundy on the base paths.
225
00:11:35,801 --> 00:11:37,400
A little dribbler
226
00:11:37,434 --> 00:11:38,400
hit by you, Nessen.
227
00:11:38,434 --> 00:11:39,667
Bundy,
228
00:11:39,701 --> 00:11:41,233
needing to score
to win the game,
229
00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:42,333
lowered his head
230
00:11:42,367 --> 00:11:43,999
intothe toughest catcher
in the game,
231
00:11:44,033 --> 00:11:46,867
and took out
Mrs. Shephouse.
232
00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:54,567
Separating her shoulder
and ending her career.
233
00:11:55,100 --> 00:11:56,066
Mallers win,
234
00:11:56,100 --> 00:12:00,633
and Bundy,
once again, MVP.
235
00:12:05,300 --> 00:12:07,267
You still wanna
bench me?
236
00:12:08,234 --> 00:12:10,700
Yeah. You stink.
237
00:12:10,734 --> 00:12:12,133
Well, you can't.
238
00:12:12,167 --> 00:12:13,966
'Cause I know you need
a unanimous vote
239
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,366
to get me out
of next week's game.
240
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:17,133
And I happen to know
that my family here
241
00:12:17,167 --> 00:12:19,567
wouldn't do that
to their old man.
242
00:12:19,601 --> 00:12:21,133
Best your vote
could've been was,
243
00:12:21,167 --> 00:12:22,999
uh...
244
00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:24,867
six to three.
245
00:12:24,901 --> 00:12:26,600
Seven to two.
246
00:12:26,634 --> 00:12:29,134
Why, Peg?
247
00:12:29,734 --> 00:12:33,267
Well, it was
for the good of the team.
248
00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:39,700
Al, you gotta
feel this.
249
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,500
I'm gonna call
for one more vote, Bundy.
250
00:12:43,534 --> 00:12:45,467
You can call your son home
from ballet school,
251
00:12:45,501 --> 00:12:47,667
for all I care.
252
00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:50,600
I know I have the votes
of my children.
253
00:12:50,634 --> 00:12:51,966
All right.
254
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:56,200
I don't want to sway you,
but don't you youngsters
255
00:12:56,234 --> 00:12:58,900
want to win
the first championship
256
00:12:58,934 --> 00:13:01,134
in Mallers' history?
257
00:13:01,801 --> 00:13:03,533
Well, not if it's gonna hurt
my Daddy.
258
00:13:03,567 --> 00:13:07,334
Well, what about free lunches
at my restaurant?
259
00:13:07,567 --> 00:13:10,366
Can we see a menu first?
260
00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:11,999
Wait a minute!
261
00:13:12,033 --> 00:13:14,300
Now, kids, before we vote,
262
00:13:14,334 --> 00:13:16,066
may I share a little rhyme
I learned
263
00:13:16,100 --> 00:13:19,434
when I was both your ages?
264
00:13:20,534 --> 00:13:25,366
♪ D is for de many pies
I made you ♪
265
00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:29,900
♪ A is for the apple
In my eye ♪
266
00:13:31,167 --> 00:13:36,099
♪ D is for de dish
You ate the pie in ♪
267
00:13:36,133 --> 00:13:40,400
♪ D is for de apple
Of my eye ♪
268
00:13:40,434 --> 00:13:43,934
Y? Because I love you.
269
00:13:46,167 --> 00:13:47,633
♪ Put them all together ♪
270
00:13:47,667 --> 00:13:50,500
♪ They spell Daddy ♪
271
00:13:52,367 --> 00:13:53,667
I'm sorry.
272
00:13:53,701 --> 00:13:55,700
Take your vote now.
273
00:13:56,567 --> 00:13:58,700
And starting for Al Bundy,
274
00:13:58,734 --> 00:14:01,234
Sven Hunkstrom.
275
00:14:02,701 --> 00:14:04,333
Oh, come on, honey.
276
00:14:04,367 --> 00:14:05,867
Don't be bitter.
277
00:14:05,901 --> 00:14:08,166
You can still be
of some use to the team.
278
00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:11,900
Why, a few of us
would like ice cream.
279
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:15,333
Well, excuse me,
Mr. Long-Face.
280
00:14:15,367 --> 00:14:18,500
Oh, don't you know we did this
because we care about you?
281
00:14:18,534 --> 00:14:19,600
Oh, really?
282
00:14:19,634 --> 00:14:21,200
Y- you know
what really hurts, Peg?
283
00:14:21,234 --> 00:14:23,066
It's the fact
that you didn't even bother--
284
00:14:23,100 --> 00:14:25,468
Shh! Sven's up.
285
00:14:26,767 --> 00:14:28,368
Boo.
286
00:14:29,667 --> 00:14:33,233
* Born under a bad sign *
287
00:14:33,267 --> 00:14:37,266
* Been down since
I began to crawl *
288
00:14:37,300 --> 00:14:39,567
* If it wasn't for bad luck *
289
00:14:39,601 --> 00:14:44,101
* I wouldn't have
No luck at all *
290
00:14:46,667 --> 00:14:48,533
* Bad luck and trouble *
291
00:14:48,567 --> 00:14:50,867
* Is my only friend *
292
00:14:50,901 --> 00:14:52,999
* I been on my own *
293
00:14:53,033 --> 00:14:56,066
* Ever since I was 10 *
294
00:14:56,100 --> 00:14:58,834
* Born under a bad sign *
295
00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:04,767
* I been down since
I began to crawl *
296
00:15:04,801 --> 00:15:07,099
* If it wasn't for bad luck *
297
00:15:07,133 --> 00:15:10,934
* I wouldn't have
No luck at all *
298
00:15:11,701 --> 00:15:13,900
* If it wasn't for bad luck *
299
00:15:13,934 --> 00:15:18,468
* I wouldn't have
No luck at all *
300
00:15:20,968 --> 00:15:21,934
Okay.
301
00:15:21,968 --> 00:15:23,200
Bases are loaded,
302
00:15:23,234 --> 00:15:24,667
and we've only got
one out.
303
00:15:24,701 --> 00:15:27,201
Bud, you're up.
304
00:15:27,801 --> 00:15:29,834
Wish me luck, Dad.
305
00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:34,301
That good enough luck
for you?
306
00:15:47,834 --> 00:15:49,633
Going...
307
00:15:49,667 --> 00:15:52,034
It's going...
308
00:15:52,501 --> 00:15:53,900
Caught on
the warning track!
309
00:15:53,934 --> 00:15:54,900
Tough luck.
310
00:15:54,934 --> 00:15:56,834
Way to let
the team down.
311
00:15:58,200 --> 00:15:59,300
Heeee's
312
00:15:59,334 --> 00:16:00,834
out!
313
00:16:04,934 --> 00:16:07,233
What do we do now?
314
00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:08,834
We have to have someone
to bat for him.
315
00:16:08,868 --> 00:16:11,134
We've only one player left.
316
00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:19,467
Excuse me.
317
00:16:19,501 --> 00:16:21,500
Mrs. Bundy?
318
00:16:22,667 --> 00:16:23,633
Oh, yeah.
319
00:16:23,667 --> 00:16:26,700
This'll be real easy.
320
00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:30,201
Al...
321
00:16:30,767 --> 00:16:32,767
Honey.
322
00:16:34,434 --> 00:16:35,900
Hey, would you
go up there and bat?
323
00:16:35,934 --> 00:16:37,700
The guys would
really like it a lot.
324
00:16:37,734 --> 00:16:39,734
Really?
325
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:41,900
Gee, does everyone
want me?
326
00:16:41,934 --> 00:16:43,667
I mean, even my family?
327
00:16:43,701 --> 00:16:45,934
I mean, I'm--
I'm old, and I stink.
328
00:16:46,868 --> 00:16:49,967
What's it gonna take
to get you to go hit?
329
00:17:02,534 --> 00:17:06,366
♪ D is for de many pies
You made us ♪
330
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:09,266
♪ A is for the apple
In his eye ♪
331
00:17:09,300 --> 00:17:12,667
♪ D is for the dish
You made the pie in ♪
332
00:17:12,701 --> 00:17:15,633
♪ D is for de apple
In his eye ♪
333
00:17:15,667 --> 00:17:18,467
♪ Y? Because we love you ♪
334
00:17:18,501 --> 00:17:20,266
♪ Put them all together ♪
335
00:17:20,300 --> 00:17:21,567
♪ They spell... ♪
336
00:17:21,601 --> 00:17:24,101
Make me feel it.
337
00:17:25,100 --> 00:17:28,101
♪ Daddy ♪
338
00:17:36,934 --> 00:17:38,434
Hat.
339
00:17:41,801 --> 00:17:43,301
Thunder rod.
340
00:17:46,734 --> 00:17:48,966
Batting for Sven Hunkstrom,
341
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,500
Al Bundy.
342
00:17:54,968 --> 00:17:58,633
You know he's gonna
strike out.
343
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:18,201
Strike!
344
00:18:18,734 --> 00:18:20,233
What's he doing?
345
00:18:20,267 --> 00:18:23,934
Framing his greatest failure.
346
00:18:28,334 --> 00:18:30,334
Strike two!
347
00:18:31,167 --> 00:18:32,133
Come on, kids.
348
00:18:32,167 --> 00:18:33,333
Daddy can get
a ride home
349
00:18:33,367 --> 00:18:35,966
on the shoulders
of the opposing team.
350
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:38,034
Come on, Bundy!
351
00:18:41,934 --> 00:18:43,934
You can do it!
352
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,067
Come on, Bundy!
353
00:19:01,868 --> 00:19:02,999
It's going...
354
00:19:03,033 --> 00:19:04,834
It's going...
355
00:19:07,300 --> 00:19:08,900
It's gone!
356
00:19:13,367 --> 00:19:15,368
We've done it!
357
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:18,333
Well,
358
00:19:18,367 --> 00:19:20,533
you know, we're never gonna
hear the end of this one.
359
00:19:20,567 --> 00:19:21,934
Gee, how can you tell?
360
00:19:21,968 --> 00:19:23,800
The way he's making
fire engine noises
361
00:19:23,834 --> 00:19:25,967
as he rounds the bases?
362
00:19:26,834 --> 00:19:28,767
Well, look closely, kids.
363
00:19:28,801 --> 00:19:31,200
Something you may
never see again.
364
00:19:31,234 --> 00:19:32,233
Behold.
365
00:19:32,267 --> 00:19:35,734
A shoe salesman
in triumph.
366
00:19:39,601 --> 00:19:42,101
All right, Dad!
367
00:19:44,634 --> 00:19:46,300
Well, cross the plate, Bundy.
368
00:19:46,334 --> 00:19:47,900
Cross the plate!
369
00:19:47,934 --> 00:19:50,133
In due time.
370
00:19:50,167 --> 00:19:52,101
Microphone, please.
371
00:19:59,100 --> 00:20:02,233
Before I cross home plate
372
00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:06,633
and bring home the first-ever
championship to the Mallers,
373
00:20:06,667 --> 00:20:09,433
I would just like to say that,
374
00:20:09,467 --> 00:20:12,468
today, today, today, today...
375
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:15,099
I consider you, you, you...
376
00:20:15,133 --> 00:20:17,033
the luckiest team
377
00:20:17,067 --> 00:20:20,101
on the face
of the earth, earth, earth...
378
00:20:20,901 --> 00:20:23,333
And in closing,
I'd like to say,
379
00:20:23,367 --> 00:20:26,233
I hate you all.
380
00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:29,433
I thank no one but myself.
381
00:20:29,467 --> 00:20:33,600
As of today, I, Al Bundy,
382
00:20:33,634 --> 00:20:36,334
am finished with baseball.
383
00:20:40,300 --> 00:20:41,633
M.
384
00:20:41,667 --> 00:20:43,300
V.
385
00:20:43,334 --> 00:20:44,834
P!
386
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,967
Move it!
387
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:23,166
Hey, kid,
how you doin'?
388
00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:24,166
All right.
389
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:25,734
All right!
390
00:21:27,300 --> 00:21:29,166
Boy, that center fielder's
gonna get burned
391
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:31,034
playing that shallow.
392
00:21:37,667 --> 00:21:39,167
Heads up!
393
00:21:41,634 --> 00:21:44,366
Who is that guy?
394
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:45,800
I think it's him.
395
00:21:45,834 --> 00:21:47,300
Who's him?
396
00:21:47,334 --> 00:21:48,366
Al Bundy.
397
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:50,366
Did you ever
see him play?
398
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:52,900
I only heard about him.
Yeah...
399
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:55,201
I saw him play.
400
00:21:57,267 --> 00:21:59,166
He was the best.
401
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:02,233
Ran, threw, sold shoes.
402
00:22:02,267 --> 00:22:03,233
Heh.
403
00:22:03,267 --> 00:22:05,767
He was the best.
404
00:22:05,868 --> 00:22:07,434
Is that him?
405
00:22:17,868 --> 00:22:19,500
Nah.
406
00:22:19,534 --> 00:22:21,034
That's not him.
407
00:22:21,701 --> 00:22:24,834
He said he'd had enough
of the game. Heh.
27039
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