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Adult Adam: Growing up, my
mom made every lunch bag
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00:00:03,570 --> 00:00:05,688
an ornate tapestry
of her love for us.
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00:00:05,688 --> 00:00:07,922
Each morning, she made
it her top priority
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00:00:07,922 --> 00:00:11,807
to send us to school knowing
that we meant the world to her.
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00:00:11,807 --> 00:00:14,208
And while none of her kids
ever really appreciated
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00:00:14,242 --> 00:00:15,643
her expressions of affection,
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00:00:15,677 --> 00:00:17,695
that didn't stop my mom
from constantly declaring
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00:00:17,746 --> 00:00:20,648
how she adored us with
every ounce of her soul.
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00:00:20,682 --> 00:00:22,149
I love you so much.
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00:00:22,184 --> 00:00:23,817
I love you, too.
11
00:00:23,817 --> 00:00:25,333
- I love you.
- Mom!
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00:00:25,384 --> 00:00:27,552
Woman: And the basketball
pep rally is after lunch.
13
00:00:27,552 --> 00:00:30,554
Also, Barry Goldberg,
your mother loves you.
14
00:00:30,589 --> 00:00:31,989
Beverly: You didn't
say it with love.
15
00:00:32,023 --> 00:00:34,241
Barry, I love you. [Laughter]
16
00:00:34,276 --> 00:00:35,459
I love you, Boopie.
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00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:36,627
I love you so much.
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00:00:36,678 --> 00:00:39,997
Hey, you, with the window
open, tell my baby I love him!
19
00:00:40,031 --> 00:00:42,766
Adam, if you need to make, call me!
20
00:00:42,766 --> 00:00:44,233
I'll pick you up!
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00:00:44,268 --> 00:00:47,437
My father, on the other hand,
was not nearly as effusive.
22
00:00:47,471 --> 00:00:48,971
Why you got to be a moron all the time?
23
00:00:49,006 --> 00:00:50,990
Don't be a moron. Get your ass home.
24
00:00:51,041 --> 00:00:52,208
You're a moron.
25
00:00:52,259 --> 00:00:54,744
Oh, yeah, my dadwas
miles from sentimental.
26
00:00:54,744 --> 00:00:57,245
Okay, I'm heading off to prom.
27
00:00:57,280 --> 00:00:58,930
Erica, wait.
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00:00:58,965 --> 00:01:01,382
- Can you, uh, get me the remote?
- And no matter what we did,
29
00:01:01,382 --> 00:01:06,085
my dad was literally incapable
of saying "I love you."
30
00:01:06,087 --> 00:01:08,988
Great pass, Bobby! I love you, Son!
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00:01:09,022 --> 00:01:11,007
Bar! Hey, bar!
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I want to beat the traffic!
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Catch a ride home with Bobby!
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He couldn't even say "I love you"
35
00:01:16,029 --> 00:01:18,564
when Erica was accepted
into the governor's school,
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00:01:18,599 --> 00:01:20,166
a prestigious summer music program.
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00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:22,618
But my mothermore
than made up for it.
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00:01:22,618 --> 00:01:25,937
And I'm not saying other people
don't love their children.
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00:01:25,937 --> 00:01:30,907
I'm just saying I love mine
way more than they love theirs.
40
00:01:30,941 --> 00:01:32,542
So, to sum it all up...
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00:01:32,576 --> 00:01:34,811
[Voice breaking] ...Mama
hawk's gonna miss baby bird.
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00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:38,665
Here, I bought you a going-away present.
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00:01:38,716 --> 00:01:40,783
I'm sure you'll look at it every night.
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00:01:40,783 --> 00:01:43,885
Oh, good. A photo album. [Chuckles]
45
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Not the leather jacket or boots I wanted.
46
00:01:46,220 --> 00:01:49,621
And now your father would like
to say a few heartfelt words.
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00:01:49,623 --> 00:01:51,556
Uh, no, no, no, I'm good.
48
00:01:51,556 --> 00:01:54,291
Your, uh, 20-minute speech
covered all the bases.
49
00:01:54,308 --> 00:01:55,392
[Glass clinking] Barry: Speech!
50
00:01:55,394 --> 00:01:57,027
Tell your daughter how you feel.
51
00:01:57,061 --> 00:01:59,012
- This is gonna be so uncomfortable.
- Mm.
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00:01:59,012 --> 00:02:01,330
Speech! Speech!
53
00:02:01,332 --> 00:02:03,766
Shut up, Barry! Take
the knife away from him.
54
00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:07,219
Erica, you're, uh, my first kid.
55
00:02:07,270 --> 00:02:10,206
Uh, could have been worse.
56
00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:13,576
What he meant to say was that
he loves you so much, Baby.
57
00:02:13,827 --> 00:02:15,911
But then my dad really
opened his heart.
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00:02:15,911 --> 00:02:17,745
- Sure.
- Wow.
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00:02:17,779 --> 00:02:20,914
Yeah, for him,that's
as open as it gets.
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00:02:20,916 --> 00:02:23,050
I'm twisted up inside
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00:02:23,084 --> 00:02:27,054
But nonetheless I
feel the need to say
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00:02:28,757 --> 00:02:30,557
I don't know the future
63
00:02:30,592 --> 00:02:32,411
But the past keeps
getting clearer every day
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00:02:32,436 --> 00:02:34,744
Synced & Corrected by Laulau
www.addic7ed.com
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It was may 13, 1980-something,
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00:02:37,214 --> 00:02:39,348
the day I'd finally profess
my love for my girlfriend,
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and nothing would stop me.
68
00:02:40,601 --> 00:02:43,269
What the hell, dude?! Those aren't for you.
69
00:02:43,303 --> 00:02:46,055
Hey, don't leave a basketball
in front of Michael Jordan
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00:02:46,106 --> 00:02:47,773
and expect him not to dunk it.
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00:02:47,808 --> 00:02:49,108
From downtown!
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00:02:49,142 --> 00:02:52,111
Idiot. Can't you read?
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00:02:52,145 --> 00:02:54,113
These are for Dana.
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00:02:54,147 --> 00:02:55,615
I'm finally gonna tell her I love her.
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00:02:55,649 --> 00:02:57,450
- What?!
- Isn't it great?
76
00:02:57,484 --> 00:03:00,202
He's telling his girl he
loves her with baked goods.
77
00:03:00,237 --> 00:03:02,038
You can't tell a girl you love her.
78
00:03:02,072 --> 00:03:03,873
It ruins everything. Trust me.
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00:03:03,907 --> 00:03:05,157
Please don't trust him.
80
00:03:05,159 --> 00:03:07,793
Love is dangerous, and it can hurt people,
81
00:03:07,828 --> 00:03:10,079
like a ninja riding on
a saber-toothed tiger.
82
00:03:10,130 --> 00:03:11,497
Please don't trust him.
83
00:03:11,499 --> 00:03:13,666
You can't just say it. It
makes you look vulnerable.
84
00:03:13,668 --> 00:03:15,334
And she'll lose all respect for you.
85
00:03:15,336 --> 00:03:17,503
Well, I-I got to do something.
86
00:03:17,505 --> 00:03:19,839
Dana and her family are
going away for the summer.
87
00:03:19,841 --> 00:03:22,341
W-what if she meets a guy
while she's in Seattle?
88
00:03:22,343 --> 00:03:24,510
Why are you worried about
some dude from Canada?
89
00:03:24,512 --> 00:03:26,896
You just need to relax and
maintain the upper hand.
90
00:03:26,930 --> 00:03:27,730
[Sighs]
91
00:03:27,815 --> 00:03:29,933
I just... Don't want to lose her.
92
00:03:29,984 --> 00:03:32,435
So this is what you do...
you march up to Dana.
93
00:03:32,486 --> 00:03:35,438
You gently cup her
beautiful face in your hands,
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00:03:35,489 --> 00:03:38,608
look deep into her brown eyes,
and attack her one weakness,
95
00:03:38,659 --> 00:03:40,744
like, "you got gremlin ears, girl."
96
00:03:40,778 --> 00:03:42,362
- Don't do that.
- Do that!
97
00:03:42,364 --> 00:03:43,613
Don't do that.
98
00:03:43,664 --> 00:03:45,332
Do that! It's your only choice!
99
00:03:45,366 --> 00:03:46,666
Give me these cupcakes.
100
00:03:46,701 --> 00:03:48,535
- Oh, God!
- What?
101
00:03:48,586 --> 00:03:50,036
Barry was a manof strong convictions.
102
00:03:50,038 --> 00:03:53,206
Unfortunately, he was never oneto follow his own advice.
103
00:03:53,208 --> 00:03:54,874
What do you mean, you
got practice until 5:00?
104
00:03:54,876 --> 00:03:57,043
You promised your man you'd
watch him do leg curls.
105
00:03:57,045 --> 00:03:59,712
I really didn't, but I will drop by after.
106
00:03:59,714 --> 00:04:01,598
I'll bring you one of those
frozen burritos you like.
107
00:04:01,632 --> 00:04:04,434
God, you so get me. I love you.
108
00:04:05,386 --> 00:04:07,387
And in a moment of sheer stupidity,
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00:04:07,389 --> 00:04:09,722
Barry had accidently
dropped the "L" bomb.
110
00:04:09,724 --> 00:04:12,859
His only hope was that
Lainey didn't hear him.
111
00:04:12,893 --> 00:04:14,560
- What did you just say?
- But she did.
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00:04:14,562 --> 00:04:16,229
I said...
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00:04:16,231 --> 00:04:17,897
You got gremlin ears, Girl.
114
00:04:20,567 --> 00:04:22,986
Barry Norman Goldberg with the save.
115
00:04:23,037 --> 00:04:24,454
While Barry was denying
he said the "L" word,
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00:04:24,488 --> 00:04:27,123
my mom was livid
that my dad couldn't.
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00:04:27,157 --> 00:04:29,959
Okay. You're rage-cleaning.
118
00:04:29,994 --> 00:04:33,963
Before you wipe a hole in the
counter, tell me what I did.
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00:04:33,997 --> 00:04:35,965
Why can't you just tell
the kids you love them?
120
00:04:35,999 --> 00:04:37,633
You tell them 100 times a day.
121
00:04:37,668 --> 00:04:39,502
How much love do these people need?
122
00:04:39,553 --> 00:04:42,555
I only say it so much
to pick up your slack.
123
00:04:42,589 --> 00:04:43,890
Why do I got to say it out loud?
124
00:04:43,924 --> 00:04:45,508
I love bacon, but I never actually say it.
125
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Bacon just knows.
126
00:04:46,727 --> 00:04:48,478
You always say you love bacon.
127
00:04:48,529 --> 00:04:49,729
Well, that is true.
128
00:04:49,780 --> 00:04:52,665
But I tell the kids I love them every day
129
00:04:52,716 --> 00:04:54,233
by putting a roof over their heads.
130
00:04:54,268 --> 00:04:55,401
Yeah?
131
00:04:55,452 --> 00:04:57,053
Well, what gonna happen when
Erica leaves for the summer?
132
00:04:57,087 --> 00:04:59,055
Where's your fancy love roof then?
133
00:04:59,106 --> 00:05:01,874
Well, you've got a point.
134
00:05:02,976 --> 00:05:05,878
Okay, Bevy, I'll go do my thing.
135
00:05:05,929 --> 00:05:08,180
And that thing wasto
go sit right in his chair...
136
00:05:08,180 --> 00:05:10,147
- Nope.
- ...And ignore my mom.
137
00:05:10,147 --> 00:05:12,482
You really should go tell
your daughter you love her.
138
00:05:12,482 --> 00:05:14,083
You weren't in the room.
How do you even know this?
139
00:05:14,085 --> 00:05:16,318
You basically yell everything you say.
140
00:05:16,318 --> 00:05:19,537
And for the record, I
completely agree with Beverly.
141
00:05:19,572 --> 00:05:20,839
I'm not saying "I love you."
142
00:05:20,873 --> 00:05:24,208
My dad never said it to
me, and I turned out fine.
143
00:05:24,208 --> 00:05:25,174
No, you're the best.
144
00:05:25,225 --> 00:05:26,492
Why are you busting my chops?
145
00:05:26,527 --> 00:05:28,211
"I love you" isn't something a dad says.
146
00:05:28,262 --> 00:05:29,997
Here. Watch me.
147
00:05:30,022 --> 00:05:31,630
What are you doing? Why
are you moving in on me?
148
00:05:31,630 --> 00:05:33,281
- I love you, Mur.
- Ohh.
149
00:05:33,332 --> 00:05:35,133
- I love you, Mur.
- Ohh.
150
00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:37,068
I love you, Murray Goldberg.
151
00:05:37,068 --> 00:05:38,435
This is a nightmare.
152
00:05:38,470 --> 00:05:40,704
While my dad was being
forced to say "I love you,"
153
00:05:40,738 --> 00:05:43,373
I was ready to open
up my heart to Dana.
154
00:05:43,408 --> 00:05:44,675
Long before texting, the only way
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00:05:44,709 --> 00:05:46,476
to profess your deepest
feelings for a girl
156
00:05:46,476 --> 00:05:48,026
was to pen an epic love letter
157
00:05:48,026 --> 00:05:51,412
and cooly hand-deliver
it into her locker.
158
00:05:51,412 --> 00:05:54,147
Barry: Will you just stop? You've
been dodging me for two days.
159
00:05:54,147 --> 00:05:55,313
It's only been two days?
160
00:05:55,315 --> 00:05:56,981
Feels like I've been
dodging you for a week.
161
00:05:57,016 --> 00:05:58,883
Ohh! Why did you have to say "I love you"?
162
00:05:58,885 --> 00:06:00,785
It's no big deal. I say it all the time.
163
00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:02,587
Watch. I love you, Dan!
164
00:06:02,589 --> 00:06:04,122
Oh, love you, too, bro.
165
00:06:04,156 --> 00:06:05,323
See? Means nothing.
166
00:06:05,325 --> 00:06:06,624
Hey!
167
00:06:06,659 --> 00:06:09,060
Okay, if anything, you need
to stop reading into things.
168
00:06:09,062 --> 00:06:10,278
It's not like I said
169
00:06:10,312 --> 00:06:11,963
"I love you more than
anything in the world"
170
00:06:11,997 --> 00:06:14,399
or that you're my moon and my sun
171
00:06:14,433 --> 00:06:15,566
and "if you want to get married right now,
172
00:06:15,601 --> 00:06:18,002
I'd run away and never
see my family again."
173
00:06:18,036 --> 00:06:20,488
I never said any of those
things, so get over yourself.
174
00:06:20,522 --> 00:06:22,707
I have practice, okay? I got to go.
175
00:06:22,709 --> 00:06:23,891
Barry was right.
176
00:06:23,926 --> 00:06:25,977
Saying "I love you"
ruined everything.
177
00:06:26,011 --> 00:06:28,429
Lucky for me, I wrote it down
and could easily take it back.
178
00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:30,479
Or so I thought.
179
00:06:30,479 --> 00:06:32,530
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
180
00:06:32,581 --> 00:06:34,849
- There you are.
- Aah!
181
00:06:34,883 --> 00:06:36,400
- Third-period bell just
rang. - Then you should go.
182
00:06:36,402 --> 00:06:38,252
But I got to get my homework.
183
00:06:38,287 --> 00:06:39,770
It's more important to be on time
184
00:06:39,770 --> 00:06:41,219
than to have your homework, am I right?
185
00:06:41,219 --> 00:06:42,636
- Move it, move it.
- No...
186
00:06:42,687 --> 00:06:45,655
While I was trying to keep
Dana from knowing I loved her,
187
00:06:45,690 --> 00:06:47,891
my dad went to Erica
to finally say it.
188
00:06:47,925 --> 00:06:50,093
- Hey.
- Hey?
189
00:06:50,127 --> 00:06:52,445
You, uh, seem surprised to see me here.
190
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:55,248
Well, you usually don't make
it this far down the hallway.
191
00:06:55,299 --> 00:06:57,483
Yeah, well, it's really
not on the way to anything.
192
00:06:57,483 --> 00:06:59,868
So, what do you want? [Scoffs]
193
00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:03,605
I, um...
194
00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,907
Was just thinking that, um, you know,
195
00:07:05,959 --> 00:07:08,477
you're going away for
the summer and all, and...
196
00:07:08,528 --> 00:07:12,898
You know, I don't really say it much.
197
00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:14,099
I, um...
198
00:07:14,099 --> 00:07:15,231
What's happening?
199
00:07:15,233 --> 00:07:17,833
You know, I just wanted to say...
200
00:07:17,833 --> 00:07:19,400
- I love you.
- What?
201
00:07:19,402 --> 00:07:20,918
[Mumbling]
- I luh you. What?
202
00:07:20,969 --> 00:07:22,603
[Mumbling] I luh you.
203
00:07:22,638 --> 00:07:23,571
- What?
- You heard me.
204
00:07:23,605 --> 00:07:25,156
- I really didn't.
- [Scoffs]
205
00:07:25,207 --> 00:07:28,109
I'm just saying... Oh, God.
206
00:07:28,143 --> 00:07:30,411
That I, uh...
207
00:07:30,445 --> 00:07:32,179
Love you.
208
00:07:32,214 --> 00:07:34,832
- Are you sick or something?
- No.
209
00:07:34,867 --> 00:07:36,817
Did you gamble away my college fund?
210
00:07:36,817 --> 00:07:38,533
That's nuts. Where did you get that from?
211
00:07:38,533 --> 00:07:40,267
Well, I know you and mom
aren't getting divorced
212
00:07:40,301 --> 00:07:41,935
because your survival depends on her.
213
00:07:41,969 --> 00:07:44,003
So what is this? You're freaking me out.
214
00:07:44,003 --> 00:07:45,086
It's nothing, damn it!
215
00:07:45,137 --> 00:07:46,521
I just wanted to say "I love you"!
216
00:07:46,523 --> 00:07:49,640
Okay. Um... Thanks?
217
00:07:50,826 --> 00:07:53,378
So, t-that's it, huh? Is that it?
218
00:07:53,412 --> 00:07:55,463
Okay, all right.
219
00:07:55,463 --> 00:07:57,180
S-so I guess I'll... I'll be on my way.
220
00:07:57,231 --> 00:08:00,500
[Sighs]
221
00:08:03,004 --> 00:08:04,804
Well, I said the thing to the girl.
222
00:08:04,804 --> 00:08:06,272
We can all get on with our lives.
223
00:08:06,323 --> 00:08:08,374
[Gasps] Oh, come on. I want details.
224
00:08:08,408 --> 00:08:11,143
She didn't say it back.
They always say it back.
225
00:08:11,177 --> 00:08:12,311
Not in this case.
226
00:08:12,362 --> 00:08:13,862
Maybe you didn't say it right.
227
00:08:13,897 --> 00:08:16,248
I want a do-over, Murray.
Go back up and try again.
228
00:08:16,299 --> 00:08:17,583
No do-overs!
229
00:08:17,634 --> 00:08:19,301
I'm never saying those words again.
230
00:08:19,336 --> 00:08:21,420
Don't say that just 'cause
your feelings are hurt.
231
00:08:21,471 --> 00:08:22,838
My feelings aren't hurt.
232
00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:25,891
I just discovered that I'm
not my daughter's cup of tea.
233
00:08:25,925 --> 00:08:28,010
That would honestly rock me to the core.
234
00:08:28,012 --> 00:08:29,812
Yeah, well, you know.
235
00:08:29,846 --> 00:08:31,480
I mean that's a rejection of you
236
00:08:31,514 --> 00:08:34,266
both as a father and a human being.
237
00:08:34,317 --> 00:08:35,350
It's fine.
238
00:08:35,402 --> 00:08:38,320
You'd think she'd say it just to be polite.
239
00:08:38,354 --> 00:08:41,490
Okay, it stings a little.
This is your fault.
240
00:08:41,524 --> 00:08:42,908
You set me up.
241
00:08:42,942 --> 00:08:44,443
Well...
242
00:08:44,494 --> 00:08:47,762
That was my first and
last "I love you" ever!
243
00:08:49,496 --> 00:08:51,696
It was third period, and
I was running out of time
244
00:08:51,696 --> 00:08:53,830
to rescue my love letter
from Dana's locker.
245
00:08:53,830 --> 00:08:54,914
Damn it!
246
00:08:54,965 --> 00:08:57,950
What am I even listening
for? The movies lied.
247
00:08:57,984 --> 00:09:00,836
Out of options, there was only
one logical choice left...
248
00:09:00,887 --> 00:09:02,571
pull the fire alarm.
249
00:09:02,606 --> 00:09:04,189
Sure, it was a serious crime.
250
00:09:04,189 --> 00:09:06,790
But as long as I played it
cooland acted quick,
251
00:09:06,790 --> 00:09:10,292
no one would be the wiser.
252
00:09:10,326 --> 00:09:11,994
Goldfarb!
253
00:09:12,028 --> 00:09:14,062
My office! Now!
254
00:09:14,097 --> 00:09:16,281
Son, I've been here a long time,
255
00:09:16,332 --> 00:09:18,100
and I've seen a lot of
kids pull that fire alarm
256
00:09:18,134 --> 00:09:19,368
for a lot of different reasons.
257
00:09:19,402 --> 00:09:20,669
What's yours?
258
00:09:20,703 --> 00:09:22,587
- Pop quiz in chemistry?
- No.
259
00:09:22,638 --> 00:09:24,106
- Arousing daydream?
- No!
260
00:09:24,108 --> 00:09:25,874
- Had a fart that fooled you?
- Worse.
261
00:09:25,908 --> 00:09:27,792
Ooh. I'm intrigued.
262
00:09:27,792 --> 00:09:30,927
I have an awesome girlfriend,
and I wrote her a letter...
263
00:09:30,927 --> 00:09:33,478
- Ka-boom. -
The problem is...
264
00:09:33,513 --> 00:09:36,498
I stupidly signed the letter
"I love you," and now...
265
00:09:36,516 --> 00:09:38,634
Now you're out on a ledge, exposed,
266
00:09:38,668 --> 00:09:40,836
with a giant target on your heart.
267
00:09:40,838 --> 00:09:43,338
There are no more dangerous
words than "I love you."
268
00:09:43,373 --> 00:09:45,123
Wow. Yeah.
269
00:09:45,174 --> 00:09:47,292
Just 'cause I wear the
same tiny shorts every day
270
00:09:47,292 --> 00:09:49,360
doesn't mean I don't wear many hats.
271
00:09:49,394 --> 00:09:51,445
Coach knows love good.
272
00:09:51,496 --> 00:09:53,947
I even played the Russian mail-order game,
273
00:09:53,947 --> 00:09:55,681
and I did not win.
274
00:09:55,716 --> 00:09:58,901
Let's just say, "Woo! Woo!"
275
00:09:58,952 --> 00:10:01,270
It was an express to sad town.
276
00:10:01,305 --> 00:10:03,689
Coach! Coach! I need your help.
277
00:10:03,740 --> 00:10:06,259
What are you doing?! He's
helping me right now.
278
00:10:06,293 --> 00:10:08,945
Go away! I actually
got real adult problems.
279
00:10:08,979 --> 00:10:11,046
I want to be a cheerleader.
280
00:10:11,046 --> 00:10:12,396
We've all been there. Why?
281
00:10:12,447 --> 00:10:14,999
My lady. She's been pushing me away.
282
00:10:15,050 --> 00:10:17,101
But you know the saying...
if you love someone,
283
00:10:17,135 --> 00:10:20,588
you become a male cheerleader
and trap them into loving you.
284
00:10:20,622 --> 00:10:23,624
Dang. You Goldbergs feel hard.
285
00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:26,492
You leave it all on the
field, just like Coach.
286
00:10:26,527 --> 00:10:29,495
Well, don't worry. I can help you both.
287
00:10:29,495 --> 00:10:31,480
- You can help me get my letter back?
- You got it.
288
00:10:31,514 --> 00:10:34,700
- And I can be a cheerleading man?
- Oh, no. No, God, no.
289
00:10:34,702 --> 00:10:38,904
I got one position open,
if you got the nards.
290
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:43,225
I'm looking for a brave
soul to be the team mascot.
291
00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:45,077
Well, my soul's the bravest, coach.
292
00:10:45,111 --> 00:10:48,296
While Barry would do anything
to stay close to Lainey,
293
00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:51,833
my mom was furious with Erica
for pushing my dad away.
294
00:10:51,868 --> 00:10:53,718
Mom, stop rage-juicing.
295
00:10:53,718 --> 00:10:55,736
If you want to talk, I'm right here.
296
00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:56,870
How could you?
297
00:10:56,872 --> 00:10:58,505
I've done some questionable things lately,
298
00:10:58,539 --> 00:11:01,358
so if you could just say
out loud what I did first,
299
00:11:01,409 --> 00:11:03,427
just so we're all on the same page.
300
00:11:03,461 --> 00:11:05,946
Your father said "I love you,"
and you didn't say it back.
301
00:11:05,980 --> 00:11:09,216
Yes. That is definitely the
worst thing I've done this week.
302
00:11:09,218 --> 00:11:10,950
Why can't you just say it back to him?
303
00:11:10,950 --> 00:11:12,601
You have no problem
saying "I love you" to me.
304
00:11:12,635 --> 00:11:15,003
That's because you say it
so much, it's meaningless.
305
00:11:15,003 --> 00:11:16,437
I'm on autopilot.
306
00:11:16,472 --> 00:11:19,023
It's like saying "God bless
you" after someone sneezes.
307
00:11:19,074 --> 00:11:21,476
It was a disaster when he said it,
308
00:11:21,510 --> 00:11:22,810
and I'm not gonna make it worse.
309
00:11:22,845 --> 00:11:25,713
What if I make it worth your while?
310
00:11:25,713 --> 00:11:27,147
Wait, are you trying to bribe me?
311
00:11:27,149 --> 00:11:29,332
[Scoffs] Please, you wouldn't
believe what it would take
312
00:11:29,332 --> 00:11:31,267
to get me to do this. Oh.
313
00:11:31,301 --> 00:11:32,735
I'm not saying no.
314
00:11:32,769 --> 00:11:35,037
I'm just saying come
in high with your offer.
315
00:11:39,543 --> 00:11:41,769
Is that a new jacket?
316
00:11:41,769 --> 00:11:43,569
It is. I love you, Dad.
317
00:11:43,571 --> 00:11:47,390
Turns out the price of
love is $57 plus tax.
318
00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:50,693
Oh, God! She's opening up her locker!
319
00:11:50,693 --> 00:11:53,261
- Quick, pull the fire alarm.
- Come on, Goldberg.
320
00:11:53,296 --> 00:11:56,248
Pulling the fire alarm
is morally reprehensible.
321
00:11:56,282 --> 00:11:58,884
All right, people, impromptu drug search!
322
00:11:58,951 --> 00:12:01,353
Open your lockers!
323
00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:02,854
Think we'll start over here.
324
00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:04,322
I'm searching your locker, Caldwell.
325
00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:05,707
Me? Why?
326
00:12:05,758 --> 00:12:07,809
Well, let's just say I
got it on good authority
327
00:12:07,860 --> 00:12:09,528
there's a buttload of ludes in there.
328
00:12:09,530 --> 00:12:11,463
- What's a lude?
- Don't play coy with me.
329
00:12:11,497 --> 00:12:13,565
I know a lude-head when I see one.
330
00:12:13,565 --> 00:12:16,082
All right, let's see here.
331
00:12:16,133 --> 00:12:18,567
Okay, search is over, people!
332
00:12:18,602 --> 00:12:21,120
Let's go! Asses to classes!
333
00:12:21,171 --> 00:12:22,421
Stay clean, Caldwell.
334
00:12:22,456 --> 00:12:24,390
Even though coach Mellor saved me
335
00:12:24,441 --> 00:12:26,609
from making the biggest
mistake of my life,
336
00:12:26,611 --> 00:12:30,296
nothing could save
Barry from this debacle.
337
00:12:31,047 --> 00:12:33,815
While my brother considered himself
338
00:12:33,815 --> 00:12:35,115
an expert at many things,
339
00:12:35,149 --> 00:12:39,219
the fine art of mascot-ing
was not one of them.
340
00:12:39,253 --> 00:12:41,188
Turns out the only thing creepier
341
00:12:41,222 --> 00:12:42,472
than Barry spying on his girlfriend
342
00:12:42,523 --> 00:12:44,775
was the 10-pound,
dead-eyed, grinning quaker
343
00:12:44,826 --> 00:12:45,992
strapped to his head.
344
00:12:45,994 --> 00:12:50,030
Hey! What are you... back off!
345
00:12:50,064 --> 00:12:51,381
Barry: Chill!
346
00:12:51,415 --> 00:12:54,184
Surprise! It's Barry!
347
00:12:54,235 --> 00:12:56,786
Oh, my God. What are you doing?
348
00:12:56,821 --> 00:12:58,605
I'm the fighting quaker!
349
00:12:58,639 --> 00:13:01,841
I thought dressing in a giant,
rubber Donald sutherland head
350
00:13:01,841 --> 00:13:02,891
would be the perfect way
351
00:13:02,926 --> 00:13:04,526
of making things less weird between us.
352
00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:06,628
This makes things so much weirder.
353
00:13:06,663 --> 00:13:07,879
Please, just go.
354
00:13:07,930 --> 00:13:10,515
Only if you say "I love you"
back so it makes things even.
355
00:13:10,550 --> 00:13:12,317
Go on.
356
00:13:12,368 --> 00:13:13,618
[Muffled] Tell me you love me.
357
00:13:13,653 --> 00:13:16,605
My eyes are in my mouth,
so say it right here.
358
00:13:16,639 --> 00:13:19,707
I'm sorry, Barry. I'm not gonna say it.
359
00:13:19,707 --> 00:13:21,474
- Ouch.
- She doesn't love you, bro.
360
00:13:21,508 --> 00:13:23,109
[Bleep] Off, Lyle and Kyle.
361
00:13:23,143 --> 00:13:23,960
- Whoa!
- Easy!
362
00:13:24,011 --> 00:13:26,546
I will throw you, Bro, and
not in a cheerleading way.
363
00:13:26,548 --> 00:13:29,148
[Whistle blows] All right, bring it in!
364
00:13:29,183 --> 00:13:31,200
Cheerleaders and mascot, too.
365
00:13:31,235 --> 00:13:33,669
Big away game at central high tonight.
366
00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:36,155
Heated rivalry, big stakes.
367
00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:39,876
That means some of you
are going to get hurt.
368
00:13:39,927 --> 00:13:42,395
Sprained ankles, jammed fingers,
369
00:13:42,395 --> 00:13:45,513
not to mention guaranteed
off-the-court attacks
370
00:13:45,513 --> 00:13:47,147
on some of our support personnel.
371
00:13:47,182 --> 00:13:48,282
I'm sorry. What, now?
372
00:13:48,316 --> 00:13:49,917
I thought you knew about this.
373
00:13:49,951 --> 00:13:52,519
Last year, some of our more passionate fans
374
00:13:52,554 --> 00:13:54,488
laid a swift beatdown on their mascot,
375
00:13:54,522 --> 00:13:55,956
Bobby the beaver.
376
00:13:55,990 --> 00:14:00,561
Tonight, revenge hangs like a
thick fog over the entire squad,
377
00:14:00,595 --> 00:14:03,279
although some of us might
be wearing cumbersome,
378
00:14:03,279 --> 00:14:05,697
vision-hindering costumes,
379
00:14:05,748 --> 00:14:09,034
which will make us even more
of a target than the others.
380
00:14:09,085 --> 00:14:11,570
Uh, coach?
381
00:14:11,621 --> 00:14:14,740
Yes? Our brave, doomed
quaker has a question.
382
00:14:14,740 --> 00:14:17,025
I know you're giving us a
general pep talk and all,
383
00:14:17,076 --> 00:14:19,027
but it feels directed mostly toward me.
384
00:14:19,078 --> 00:14:20,995
Oh, my God, Barry. Take
off the stupid costume.
385
00:14:21,029 --> 00:14:22,830
They're gonna break
every bone in your body.
386
00:14:22,865 --> 00:14:24,832
My heart bone's already been broken, girl.
387
00:14:24,867 --> 00:14:28,119
That's the spirit. Give
Barry a hug before you go.
388
00:14:28,121 --> 00:14:30,371
It may be some time before you
get a chance to do it again.
389
00:14:30,422 --> 00:14:32,824
Not a good time, Dan.
390
00:14:34,824 --> 00:14:37,658
Even though my mom bribed
Erica to say "I love you,"
391
00:14:37,658 --> 00:14:40,175
she was so giddy with the
results that she doubled down.
392
00:14:40,226 --> 00:14:42,043
Dad! There's my guy!
393
00:14:42,043 --> 00:14:44,144
Just wanted to say I love you.
394
00:14:44,144 --> 00:14:46,996
I love you so much.
395
00:14:46,996 --> 00:14:47,929
She really does.
396
00:14:47,964 --> 00:14:49,147
What the hell's going on with you two?
397
00:14:49,182 --> 00:14:50,999
Nothing. I just love you, man.
398
00:14:50,999 --> 00:14:54,700
Did you put her up to this?
First the jacket, now new boots?
399
00:14:54,735 --> 00:14:56,735
Are you buying her leather goods
400
00:14:56,735 --> 00:14:58,252
so she'll say "I love you" to me?
401
00:14:58,286 --> 00:15:00,220
[Laughs]
402
00:15:00,271 --> 00:15:01,471
[Singsong voice]: Guilty!
403
00:15:01,522 --> 00:15:03,707
[Laughing] Come on.
404
00:15:03,758 --> 00:15:06,126
I am guilty. Yes.
405
00:15:06,163 --> 00:15:08,647
Stop pulling strings, Dad!
I love you. Just drop it.
406
00:15:08,647 --> 00:15:10,547
Well, I don't accept it.
407
00:15:10,547 --> 00:15:12,714
What? You can't reject my love.
408
00:15:12,749 --> 00:15:15,517
Oh, I reject it. I reject it but good.
409
00:15:15,552 --> 00:15:17,569
Take it. Take the "I love you."
410
00:15:17,604 --> 00:15:20,689
Just take it, Murray. It's love. Take it.
411
00:15:20,723 --> 00:15:22,641
No. She's using it as a weapon.
412
00:15:22,641 --> 00:15:24,175
I love you!!
413
00:15:24,175 --> 00:15:26,543
[Gasps] See? It stings doesn't it?
414
00:15:26,543 --> 00:15:28,761
Oh, you want it to sting?
415
00:15:28,795 --> 00:15:31,230
I love you! Take that.
416
00:15:31,281 --> 00:15:33,082
Is that all you got? I love you!
417
00:15:33,084 --> 00:15:34,266
I love you so much! Eat it!
418
00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:36,018
I love you more! Boom! In your face!
419
00:15:36,069 --> 00:15:37,953
Shut your mouth, 'cause I love you more!
420
00:15:37,955 --> 00:15:40,556
- I love you to infinity!
- I love you!
421
00:15:40,558 --> 00:15:44,793
My love knows no bounds
all the way to infinity!
422
00:15:44,795 --> 00:15:46,195
- Aah!
- Aah!
423
00:15:46,229 --> 00:15:48,880
While my dad and Erica were
using love as a weapon,
424
00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:50,982
my brother was at
our rival high school
425
00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:52,466
with a target on his back.
426
00:15:52,501 --> 00:15:54,969
The fighting quakerdidn't have a fighting chance.
427
00:15:55,020 --> 00:15:56,637
All: [Chanting] Kill the quaker!
428
00:15:56,639 --> 00:15:58,672
[Rhythmic clapping] Kill the quaker!
429
00:15:58,672 --> 00:15:59,805
Oh, my God! Barry, that's you!
430
00:15:59,839 --> 00:16:01,039
You're the one they're gonna kill.
431
00:16:01,074 --> 00:16:03,576
Dude, just hide on the
bus. That's what I do.
432
00:16:03,627 --> 00:16:06,611
A sane man would have listened,
but my bro was anything but sane.
433
00:16:06,662 --> 00:16:08,413
No! No hiding!
434
00:16:08,464 --> 00:16:10,348
I'm gonna go out there!
435
00:16:10,399 --> 00:16:12,184
It's the least I can
do after you all took me
436
00:16:12,218 --> 00:16:15,420
into your cheerleading
family, especially you, Lyle.
437
00:16:15,422 --> 00:16:17,906
Not you, Kyle. You suck.
438
00:16:17,957 --> 00:16:20,842
Point is, it's been quite
a ride, cheerleaders,
439
00:16:20,877 --> 00:16:22,561
but the ride ends now.
440
00:16:22,563 --> 00:16:26,047
Barry, wait. Barry, don't do this.
441
00:16:26,047 --> 00:16:27,097
Why do you even care?
442
00:16:27,099 --> 00:16:29,416
'Cause I love you, okay? God.
443
00:16:29,416 --> 00:16:31,133
You're just saying that 'cause
you don't want me to die.
444
00:16:31,135 --> 00:16:33,068
Of course I don't want you to die.
445
00:16:33,119 --> 00:16:36,138
But... I really do love you.
446
00:16:37,924 --> 00:16:39,825
Then why didn't you say it back?
447
00:16:39,859 --> 00:16:42,761
I was scared, okay?
448
00:16:42,796 --> 00:16:45,197
When my mom left, it crushed my dad,
449
00:16:45,231 --> 00:16:50,018
so I swore I'd never be so
dumb to fall in love myself.
450
00:16:50,018 --> 00:16:52,620
But... You're just so dumb,
451
00:16:52,620 --> 00:16:55,054
you made me fall in love with you anyway.
452
00:16:55,105 --> 00:16:58,091
So... You really love me?
453
00:17:02,112 --> 00:17:04,964
Wait, you're still going out there?
454
00:17:05,015 --> 00:17:05,932
You bet I am.
455
00:17:05,966 --> 00:17:07,900
I'm as strong as all the oceans,
456
00:17:07,951 --> 00:17:10,319
as powerful as a really big magnet.
457
00:17:10,354 --> 00:17:12,521
As awesome as a thundercat!
458
00:17:12,521 --> 00:17:16,908
'Cause Lainey Lewis loves Barry Goldberg!
459
00:17:16,943 --> 00:17:18,977
I touch you twice
460
00:17:19,011 --> 00:17:21,412
It was a moment my brother
would hold onto forever.
461
00:17:21,412 --> 00:17:24,097
The girl of his
dreams loved him back,
462
00:17:24,097 --> 00:17:26,549
and nothing could hurt him now.
463
00:17:26,583 --> 00:17:29,535
Well, nothing except a
vengeful mob of angry fans.
464
00:17:29,586 --> 00:17:31,770
If you leave, I won't cry
465
00:17:31,805 --> 00:17:34,323
But as I watched my brothersingle-handedly battle...
466
00:17:34,374 --> 00:17:36,091
An entire high school, I realized
467
00:17:36,093 --> 00:17:39,010
that with love on your side,
you can take on anything.
468
00:17:39,010 --> 00:17:41,878
Sure, there's nothing
more dangerous or scary
469
00:17:41,913 --> 00:17:43,797
than putting your heart on the line.
470
00:17:43,848 --> 00:17:45,732
But as I raced into the night,
471
00:17:45,734 --> 00:17:49,201
I knew that love was
a risk worth taking.
472
00:17:49,201 --> 00:17:51,102
I touch you once, I touch you twice
473
00:17:51,136 --> 00:17:52,303
You always said we'd
still be friends someday
474
00:17:52,337 --> 00:17:53,337
Adam.
475
00:17:53,337 --> 00:17:55,838
Dana. I...
476
00:17:55,872 --> 00:17:58,007
What? What's wrong? [Paper crinkles]
477
00:17:58,009 --> 00:17:59,308
If you leave
478
00:17:59,342 --> 00:18:00,343
I wrote you this whole thing
479
00:18:00,377 --> 00:18:02,411
'cause I was so scared to say it out loud.
480
00:18:02,746 --> 00:18:05,815
I won't waste one single
day
I'm not scared anymore.
481
00:18:05,849 --> 00:18:07,967
Dana, I love you.
482
00:18:08,051 --> 00:18:09,351
Heaven knows what happens now
483
00:18:09,353 --> 00:18:10,819
I love you.
484
00:18:10,854 --> 00:18:11,787
You've got to
I...
485
00:18:11,821 --> 00:18:13,355
You've got to say you will
486
00:18:13,390 --> 00:18:14,823
Love you, too.
487
00:18:14,823 --> 00:18:16,256
I touch you once, I touch you twice
488
00:18:16,258 --> 00:18:18,425
And that's what makes all this so hard.
489
00:18:18,425 --> 00:18:19,992
You always said we'd
meet again someday
490
00:18:19,994 --> 00:18:22,762
I just... Didn't know how to tell you.
491
00:18:22,796 --> 00:18:23,896
Tell me what?
492
00:18:23,914 --> 00:18:28,267
We're not going to Seattle
just for the summer.
493
00:18:28,302 --> 00:18:31,671
My dad got offered a job there, so...
494
00:18:31,705 --> 00:18:33,406
We're gonna see if we like it.
495
00:18:35,375 --> 00:18:37,426
But you can't just leave.
496
00:18:37,477 --> 00:18:38,961
Here.
497
00:18:40,113 --> 00:18:42,081
If you leave
My green lantern ring?
498
00:18:42,081 --> 00:18:44,566
I won't cry, I won't
waste one single day
499
00:18:44,617 --> 00:18:46,851
Hopefully, I'm there on
the first day of school
500
00:18:46,851 --> 00:18:49,085
and you can give it back to me.
501
00:18:49,120 --> 00:18:52,438
But if you leave, don't look back
502
00:18:52,473 --> 00:18:54,874
[Smooches]
I'll be
running the other way
503
00:18:54,909 --> 00:18:56,175
Goodbye, Adam.
504
00:18:56,210 --> 00:18:58,194
Seven years went under the bridge
505
00:18:58,229 --> 00:19:00,230
That's the thing about young love.
506
00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:03,298
As magical as it is, it's
just as unpredictable.
507
00:19:03,901 --> 00:19:06,769
Heaven knows what happens now
Doing some ragepacking, huh?
508
00:19:06,769 --> 00:19:08,902
Well, wonder where I get it from.
509
00:19:08,954 --> 00:19:11,288
Shmoopie, I can't let you leave
things this way with your father.
510
00:19:11,339 --> 00:19:14,074
[Scoffs] We were totally
fine before you broke us.
511
00:19:14,074 --> 00:19:15,358
No, I get it now.
512
00:19:15,392 --> 00:19:17,960
Just 'cause I say "I love you" all the time
513
00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:19,528
doesn't mean you have to.
I won't let go at any price
514
00:19:19,562 --> 00:19:21,763
I need you now, like I needed you then
I just... Wanted both of you to know
515
00:19:21,797 --> 00:19:23,198
how you feel about each other.
516
00:19:23,232 --> 00:19:25,783
He's my dad. I love him more than anything.
517
00:19:25,868 --> 00:19:28,503
You always said we'd meet
again
Trust me, he knows.
518
00:19:28,521 --> 00:19:30,104
And she was right. He really did.
519
00:19:30,139 --> 00:19:31,406
Even though Erica and my dad
520
00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:33,875
were never able to
actually say the words,
521
00:19:33,909 --> 00:19:35,376
they didn't have to.
522
00:19:35,411 --> 00:19:37,178
'Cause when it comes to family,
523
00:19:37,180 --> 00:19:39,113
you know in your
heart how they feel...
524
00:19:39,164 --> 00:19:41,449
I love you, I love you, I love you.
525
00:19:41,483 --> 00:19:44,318
And you carry that love with
you no matter how far you go.
526
00:19:44,318 --> 00:19:46,252
- So...
- So...
527
00:19:46,254 --> 00:19:49,188
Uh, have a nice summer, Peanut.
528
00:19:49,222 --> 00:19:51,791
I won't let go at
any price
And, uh...
529
00:19:51,793 --> 00:19:53,926
I need you now, like
I needed you then
530
00:19:53,961 --> 00:19:55,811
I know, Dad. Me too.
531
00:19:55,846 --> 00:19:59,415
You always said
we'd still be friends
532
00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:03,035
I touch you once, I
touch you twice
You okay?
533
00:20:03,086 --> 00:20:05,854
I won't let go at any price
Okay, come on. I'm sorry.
534
00:20:05,854 --> 00:20:08,272
Looking back on your
childhood is a funny thing.
535
00:20:08,274 --> 00:20:11,375
Sure, the details get fuzzy,
and the days blend together.
536
00:20:11,426 --> 00:20:14,044
But the good news is
all the hurt fades away,
537
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:16,230
and you just end up
remembering the love.
538
00:20:16,264 --> 00:20:20,901
You remember your family.
You remember 1980-something.
539
00:20:20,935 --> 00:20:24,605
And you wouldn't change a thing.
540
00:20:24,856 --> 00:20:28,408
Our family's here. Ha!
Come on and see our family.
541
00:20:28,408 --> 00:20:29,375
- I love you.
- Oh, geez.
542
00:20:29,409 --> 00:20:30,543
I love you. [Laughs]
543
00:20:30,577 --> 00:20:33,045
I love you. I love you.
544
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:36,499
[All shouting]
545
00:20:36,501 --> 00:20:38,501
Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight!
546
00:20:38,503 --> 00:20:39,969
Yeah!
547
00:21:14,095 --> 00:21:15,879
Al: Yeah, kiddo!
548
00:21:15,930 --> 00:21:17,848
Barry, that was amazing.
549
00:21:17,882 --> 00:21:19,731
What's up? Who's this?
550
00:21:19,756 --> 00:21:21,756
I assumed it was you.
551
00:21:23,681 --> 00:21:27,181
Synced & Corrected by Laulau
www.addic7ed.com
552
00:21:27,231 --> 00:21:31,781
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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