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1
00:00:00,010 --> 00:00:03,036
(Man) Who'll start me at 100?
100 for a start.
2
00:00:03,113 --> 00:00:05,138
100 I'm bid. 100 I'm bid.
3
00:00:05,215 --> 00:00:08,082
Who'll give me 10, who'll make it 110?
I'm looking for 110.
4
00:00:08,152 --> 00:00:10,211
100? 110 I'm bid. 110?
5
00:00:10,287 --> 00:00:13,779
Who'll make it 20?
Come on, gentlemen, who'll make it 20?
6
00:00:13,857 --> 00:00:16,257
120 I'm bid. It's with you, madam, at 120.
7
00:00:16,326 --> 00:00:18,794
Do I hear 50? 150 anywhere?
8
00:00:18,862 --> 00:00:23,561
Come on, gentlemen, that's a genuine antique.
They don't come up every day. 150?
9
00:00:23,634 --> 00:00:25,431
150 I'm bid.
10
00:00:28,305 --> 00:00:30,739
Come on, gentlemen, I'm looking for 350.
11
00:00:30,808 --> 00:00:33,038
350 anywhere?
12
00:00:33,110 --> 00:00:36,136
Don't lose it, madam,
don't lose it for another 50.
13
00:00:36,213 --> 00:00:39,671
350 anywhere? 350 I'm bid.
14
00:00:39,750 --> 00:00:42,981
At 350. Who'll make it four?
I'm looking for four.
15
00:00:43,053 --> 00:00:45,920
Any more? At 350.
16
00:00:45,989 --> 00:00:50,187
Are you all done? At 350? At 350...
17
00:00:51,562 --> 00:00:53,496
Lovejoy.
18
00:01:01,238 --> 00:01:03,069
Call up Tim.
19
00:01:08,712 --> 00:01:10,009
What the hell?
20
00:01:14,284 --> 00:01:16,809
Scam. An antique scam.
21
00:01:16,887 --> 00:01:19,856
- Not "an". The scam.
- On what?
22
00:01:19,923 --> 00:01:21,117
It's Venice.
23
00:01:21,191 --> 00:01:24,160
- Well, what in Venice?
- (Woman) Venice itself.
24
00:01:24,228 --> 00:01:26,287
Great, how did we get it through Customs?
25
00:01:26,363 --> 00:01:31,198
Now that young man
knows everything I told him.
26
00:01:31,268 --> 00:01:33,031
That won't be a problem.
27
00:01:33,103 --> 00:01:36,869
Well, if it's not absurd, I don't think you're
the kind of people I wanna work for.
28
00:01:36,940 --> 00:01:40,432
Well, if it's not absurd
and you don't work for us,
29
00:01:40,511 --> 00:01:45,073
wouldn't that make
your position rather... vulnerable?
30
00:01:45,149 --> 00:01:47,174
Are you threatening me, Caterina?
31
00:01:51,288 --> 00:01:52,983
(Horse neighs)
32
00:01:59,496 --> 00:02:02,431
Think of the resources
that Pinder has backing him up.
33
00:02:02,499 --> 00:02:07,732
Know-how, expertise, manpower,
money, money, more money.
34
00:02:07,805 --> 00:02:09,739
Go to the police, Lovejoy.
35
00:02:09,807 --> 00:02:13,436
If you're so convinced all these things add up,
go to the police.
36
00:02:13,510 --> 00:02:16,104
Can you imagine our local law
coming up against that lot?
37
00:02:16,180 --> 00:02:18,239
- I know that look.
- What look?
38
00:02:18,315 --> 00:02:22,274
The look that says you're going to be
impetuous, vengeful,
39
00:02:22,352 --> 00:02:23,944
irresponsible and stupid.
40
00:02:24,021 --> 00:02:24,988
Janey!
41
00:02:31,195 --> 00:02:33,789
- Hello!
- Nancy, hello. Nice to see you.
42
00:02:33,864 --> 00:02:35,092
- You look lovely.
- Thank you.
43
00:02:35,165 --> 00:02:38,828
In the 18th century,
Venice abounded with artists.
44
00:02:38,902 --> 00:02:42,429
I mean, Canaletto, Tiepolo, Piazzetta, Ricci.
45
00:02:42,506 --> 00:02:45,373
Blokes who used the same boozer
but became famous long after they were gone.
46
00:02:45,442 --> 00:02:50,402
And some old collector used to buy all their
sketches and doodles and put on each scrap,
47
00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:54,246
the artist's original name
in beautiful copperplate writing.
48
00:02:54,318 --> 00:02:57,754
Nobody knows who he was but we call him
"the reliable Venetian hand".
49
00:02:57,821 --> 00:03:01,348
- The RVH.
- And you found one?
50
00:03:01,425 --> 00:03:03,154
They? Who are they?
51
00:03:03,227 --> 00:03:05,058
Miss Norman.
52
00:03:05,128 --> 00:03:07,619
She's my best client, so I did not refuse.
53
00:03:07,698 --> 00:03:09,893
Miss Norman, who lives
at the Palazzo Malcontento?
54
00:03:09,967 --> 00:03:11,093
Sii.
55
00:03:11,168 --> 00:03:14,569
You see, she pays for many people
to come to Venice through Cosul Tours.
56
00:03:14,638 --> 00:03:16,731
(Lovejoy) And Nancy the American girl
is one of the tourists?
57
00:03:16,807 --> 00:03:17,933
Yes, that's right.
58
00:03:24,481 --> 00:03:26,005
(Gunshot)
59
00:03:42,299 --> 00:03:44,665
- Ah!
- Shh.
60
00:03:44,735 --> 00:03:46,794
Listen, you've been shot, but you're OK.
61
00:03:46,870 --> 00:03:48,929
The bullet went right through your shoulder, OK?
62
00:03:49,006 --> 00:03:50,803
The shock made you unconscious for a minute.
63
00:03:50,874 --> 00:03:52,671
It must... have been the hunters.
64
00:03:52,743 --> 00:03:55,268
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Ah!
65
00:03:55,345 --> 00:03:57,643
- An accident?
- Oh, sure, an accident.
66
00:03:57,714 --> 00:04:01,115
Listen, Cosima, I don't think it was an accident.
67
00:04:01,184 --> 00:04:05,951
Listen, I don't know how to tell you this.
I'm sorry, I don't know what I got you into.
68
00:04:06,023 --> 00:04:08,548
Please, it's not your fault.
69
00:04:10,060 --> 00:04:12,119
- Can you move?
- Sii.
70
00:04:18,969 --> 00:04:21,665
- (Moans)
- Shh. OK.
71
00:04:31,248 --> 00:04:33,944
There's a boat. OK?
72
00:04:34,017 --> 00:04:36,008
Come here. Trust me.
73
00:05:08,118 --> 00:05:10,484
(Nurse) Signor Lovejoy?
Da questa parte, prego.
74
00:05:21,999 --> 00:05:24,627
- You're all right.
- Yes.
75
00:05:26,937 --> 00:05:28,632
Did the police see you?
76
00:05:28,705 --> 00:05:32,607
Yes. By the time they've done their checking,
I hope to have this business settled.
77
00:05:32,676 --> 00:05:35,873
- You must go away or hide.
- No.
78
00:05:35,946 --> 00:05:37,573
- But, Signorina Norman...
- Shh.
79
00:05:37,647 --> 00:05:40,548
No, no, they can't say anything,
they'll implicate themselves.
80
00:05:41,218 --> 00:05:42,879
So what will you do?
81
00:05:45,455 --> 00:05:47,252
Plan B, love.
82
00:05:49,926 --> 00:05:51,257
Plan B.
83
00:05:52,596 --> 00:05:54,393
Lovejoy. Lovejoy Antiques.
84
00:05:56,366 --> 00:05:57,993
So much for plan B.
85
00:05:58,068 --> 00:06:00,593
(Lovejoy) 0h, you can get to Pinder
with your charm.
86
00:06:00,670 --> 00:06:02,194
That's all you want me to ask him?
87
00:06:02,272 --> 00:06:03,739
Yeah. Will do.
88
00:06:03,807 --> 00:06:06,173
Oh, do you want me to wire you some money?
89
00:06:06,243 --> 00:06:11,044
Yes, I know you can't ask
but you'll need some, you always do.
90
00:06:11,114 --> 00:06:12,979
OK, take care.
91
00:06:13,050 --> 00:06:16,645
Money? I assume that must be
your friend Lovejoy.
92
00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:18,688
The poor dear's in some desperate mess.
93
00:06:18,755 --> 00:06:22,782
Do you know, I think it will be less trouble
and of a lot less expense if we adopted him.
94
00:06:22,859 --> 00:06:25,885
He could have his own room,
clean the horse brasses.
95
00:06:36,239 --> 00:06:38,036
Grazie.
96
00:06:39,209 --> 00:06:43,703
Dov'è Cosima?
Nella sua camera, sii?
97
00:06:43,780 --> 00:06:47,375
You go with her yesterday,
she not come back.
98
00:06:47,451 --> 00:06:49,681
Maledetti stranieri.
99
00:06:49,753 --> 00:06:53,211
I don't like the way you look at her.
I don't like the way you look at anybody!
100
00:06:53,290 --> 00:06:55,315
Well don't look then, eh?
101
00:07:01,231 --> 00:07:04,962
- Now I hurt you pretty bad.
- Oh, shit.
102
00:07:09,473 --> 00:07:13,910
(Australian accent) Lovejoy.
You wanna kick his goolies, Pommie?
103
00:07:13,977 --> 00:07:15,342
Now's your chance.
104
00:07:15,412 --> 00:07:19,075
Oh, no, I'd never hit a man
when somebody else can do it better.
105
00:07:19,149 --> 00:07:20,582
(Italian man groans)
106
00:07:21,985 --> 00:07:26,445
You've been in my house before,
Lady Felsham, I remember you.
107
00:07:26,523 --> 00:07:30,482
With my husband, yes.
It was some years ago, cocktails.
108
00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:33,791
I remember all my parties,
there are so few of them.
109
00:07:33,864 --> 00:07:36,924
But today you've come about Mr. Lovejoy.
110
00:07:37,100 --> 00:07:39,762
Yes, it's about the position
you offered him.
111
00:07:39,836 --> 00:07:43,772
Did he tell you
what the position entailed?
112
00:07:44,107 --> 00:07:47,565
No, only that it involved
working with antiques in Venice.
113
00:07:48,845 --> 00:07:50,745
Unhappily he refused.
114
00:07:51,414 --> 00:07:55,578
I know, but he's changed his mind.
He asked me to tell you.
115
00:07:56,353 --> 00:07:59,618
- I don't understand.
- None of us understand Lovejoy, sir.
116
00:07:59,689 --> 00:08:01,316
- Shall I?
- Please, please.
117
00:08:01,391 --> 00:08:04,827
He just wanted to see Venice
before he made up his mind about living there.
118
00:08:04,895 --> 00:08:06,692
That's why he's there now.
119
00:08:07,531 --> 00:08:10,796
- Lovejoy's in Venice?
- Yes.
120
00:08:10,867 --> 00:08:13,301
I thought you knew.
121
00:08:13,770 --> 00:08:15,067
No.
122
00:08:18,441 --> 00:08:21,706
Sii, praticamente la conferma è OK,
i posti ci sono...
123
00:08:21,778 --> 00:08:25,942
- Giuseppe.
- Lovejoy, what a crazy things to happen,
124
00:08:26,016 --> 00:08:28,610
I hope they find
these madmen with guns.
125
00:08:28,685 --> 00:08:30,778
- How do you say it in English?
- (Phone)
126
00:08:30,854 --> 00:08:32,617
- Same thing. Er...
- Pronto...
127
00:08:32,689 --> 00:08:34,122
Momento, Giuseppe.
128
00:08:34,191 --> 00:08:38,025
- Where are the Americans?
- Sono andati con Signora Norman. Guardi che...
129
00:08:38,094 --> 00:08:41,552
- Where?
- Verso I'isola di Torcello, on the Temptress.
130
00:08:41,631 --> 00:08:44,725
- What's the Temptress, a private boat?
- Sii, sii.
131
00:08:44,801 --> 00:08:47,065
- OK. Ciao, grazie.
- Buongiorno... Ciao.
132
00:08:47,137 --> 00:08:50,163
Eh, sii... No, stavo parlando
con un mio cliente, scusi, signora.
133
00:09:37,387 --> 00:09:38,684
Hi. Where are you off to?
134
00:09:38,755 --> 00:09:42,316
(Nancy) I'm with my boss.
(Lovejoy) What's the matter?
135
00:09:42,392 --> 00:09:45,418
I was only going to ask you
if you wanted to have dinner.
136
00:09:45,495 --> 00:09:49,431
No, we can't have dinner.
We can't have anything.
137
00:09:49,499 --> 00:09:51,296
I like you, Lovejoy,
but you're after something
138
00:09:51,368 --> 00:09:53,768
you could just screw my job up, OK?
139
00:10:11,955 --> 00:10:13,718
Signor Lovejoy?
140
00:10:14,724 --> 00:10:17,693
È un messaggio per lei da Inghilterra.
È di una signora.
141
00:10:17,761 --> 00:10:19,729
- Oh, grazie.
- Prego.
142
00:10:24,167 --> 00:10:26,032
I don't understand.
143
00:10:26,102 --> 00:10:28,696
You don't think the man in England
wanted you shot?
144
00:10:28,772 --> 00:10:31,673
I had a call from home.
Pinder does not know I'm in Venice,
145
00:10:31,741 --> 00:10:33,538
so he wasn't the one who ordered me followed.
146
00:10:33,610 --> 00:10:35,942
- Or shot at.
- Right.
147
00:10:36,012 --> 00:10:38,276
Have you seen Signorina Norman?
148
00:10:38,348 --> 00:10:41,909
Couldn't get past the door, love,
but I will tomorrow.
149
00:10:42,986 --> 00:10:45,113
We'd better let you rest.
150
00:11:03,073 --> 00:11:05,041
I believe I'm expected this time.
151
00:11:30,433 --> 00:11:31,730
Prego, signori.
152
00:11:47,317 --> 00:11:49,547
Caterina? I thought you were in England.
153
00:11:49,619 --> 00:11:51,951
She is, I'm Lavinia.
154
00:11:52,989 --> 00:11:55,014
Twins?
155
00:11:55,091 --> 00:12:00,893
Tonio, this is our Signor Lovejoy,
so esteemed by my sister and grandfather.
156
00:12:00,964 --> 00:12:03,956
Lovejoy, that man there is Tonio.
157
00:12:04,033 --> 00:12:07,867
Even at first glance
I can tell he doesn't like you.
158
00:12:07,937 --> 00:12:10,997
Perhaps it's not first glance,
perhaps he's seen me before.
159
00:12:11,074 --> 00:12:12,564
Perhaps.
160
00:12:13,209 --> 00:12:15,268
Tonio, get Lovejoy a drink.
161
00:12:16,379 --> 00:12:17,971
Cigarette?
162
00:12:19,482 --> 00:12:23,111
How can you smoke
amongst all these magnificent oils?
163
00:12:23,620 --> 00:12:26,248
Even the rich should know better than that.
164
00:12:29,859 --> 00:12:32,555
Are you as expert as Grandfather said, Lovejoy?
165
00:12:32,629 --> 00:12:36,258
- He's a dealer, not a faker.
- (Lovejoy) How do you know that?
166
00:12:36,332 --> 00:12:39,392
I was in England when Mr. Pinder saw you.
167
00:12:39,469 --> 00:12:41,528
Really?
168
00:12:41,604 --> 00:12:44,698
Were you there a few days before,
perhaps, at an auction?
169
00:12:44,774 --> 00:12:48,301
We were buying Venetian art,
we were at many auctions.
170
00:12:50,046 --> 00:12:52,674
I hope the champagne's
to your satisfaction.
171
00:12:52,749 --> 00:12:55,343
The glass is.
172
00:12:55,418 --> 00:12:57,409
Any chance of me keeping this?
173
00:12:57,487 --> 00:12:59,421
Oh, you know, souvenir of my visit.
174
00:12:59,489 --> 00:13:03,391
If you work for us, Lovejoy,
you can buy your own souvenirs.
175
00:13:03,460 --> 00:13:06,224
- Well, count me in.
- Are you a dealer?
176
00:13:06,296 --> 00:13:09,561
Yeah. I've done a few forgeries in my time.
177
00:13:10,733 --> 00:13:12,360
I'm good.
178
00:13:13,002 --> 00:13:16,028
I'm just tired of wasting my talents for pennies.
179
00:13:17,373 --> 00:13:21,742
I need to be... upwardly mobile.
180
00:13:21,811 --> 00:13:24,211
I want the jackpot.
181
00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:29,217
I want to... How is it you Americans say?
Cash in all my dance tickets.
182
00:13:29,285 --> 00:13:32,914
Not at Vassar, we didn't. What's this?
183
00:13:32,989 --> 00:13:34,581
Well, you know.
184
00:13:34,657 --> 00:13:37,785
Well, if you and sis were as much
into Venetian art as your grandad is.
185
00:13:37,861 --> 00:13:39,920
Yeah, with Grandad we had no choice.
186
00:13:39,996 --> 00:13:42,396
What about Mum? Mrs. Norman.
187
00:13:42,465 --> 00:13:44,399
She in the family business?
188
00:13:45,268 --> 00:13:48,669
(Sighs) Mother's a ditz.
Something happened to mother once.
189
00:13:48,738 --> 00:13:50,672
I think it was the '60s.
190
00:13:50,740 --> 00:13:54,335
Anyway, now mummy lives near Santa Barbara
where she grows her own pot,
191
00:13:54,410 --> 00:13:59,040
saves the whales and fights
for the rights of migrant grape pickers.
192
00:13:59,115 --> 00:14:00,980
This is an R.V.H.
193
00:14:01,050 --> 00:14:02,677
Lovejoy.
194
00:14:04,888 --> 00:14:08,153
- Ricci, by Lovejoy.
- I don't think so.
195
00:14:08,224 --> 00:14:11,716
- May I?
- Honey, art's not your thing.
196
00:14:12,595 --> 00:14:14,358
What is, hairdressing?
197
00:14:14,430 --> 00:14:18,890
Lovejoy, would you shut up?
Now you say you faked this?
198
00:14:18,968 --> 00:14:20,230
Yep.
199
00:14:21,304 --> 00:14:23,602
- Dov'è Luciano?
- Sull'isola.
200
00:14:29,445 --> 00:14:31,504
Oh, thank you, but I don't smoke.
201
00:14:31,581 --> 00:14:34,072
- Burn it.
- What?
202
00:14:34,150 --> 00:14:36,175
- Burn the sketch.
- What?
203
00:14:36,252 --> 00:14:37,844
Well, it's a fake, right? So burn...
204
00:14:37,921 --> 00:14:41,084
It's a bloody brilliant fake, lady.
I could make a hell of a deal on this.
205
00:14:41,157 --> 00:14:44,024
You won't need deals
if we employ you, Lovejoy.
206
00:14:46,062 --> 00:14:48,587
- Burn it.
- That's a waste.
207
00:14:50,333 --> 00:14:55,361
Antiques really are quite special to you,
aren't they, Lovejoy?
208
00:14:55,438 --> 00:14:58,965
Maybe more important than anything else.
209
00:14:59,042 --> 00:15:03,376
So if it's real, you won't destroy it
because you can't.
210
00:15:04,447 --> 00:15:06,415
But if it's a fake...
211
00:15:28,438 --> 00:15:29,905
Sorry about your carpet.
212
00:15:43,786 --> 00:15:45,583
Forgive me, Ricci.
213
00:16:10,647 --> 00:16:13,445
(Lovejoy) Ah, why do you have to
tie the hands as well? What if we sink?
214
00:16:13,516 --> 00:16:17,350
Ground, Signor. You cannot swim either.
215
00:16:17,420 --> 00:16:20,446
We Venetians have this superstition.
216
00:16:20,523 --> 00:16:23,287
Learn to swim and the lagoon
thinks you do not trust her.
217
00:16:23,359 --> 00:16:25,384
- She does?
- Takes revenge.
218
00:16:25,461 --> 00:16:28,726
- Especially at the time of acqua alta.
- What's that?
219
00:16:28,798 --> 00:16:29,890
High water.
220
00:16:39,742 --> 00:16:42,711
Ehi, Lucia, un altro falsificatore.
221
00:16:43,713 --> 00:16:46,739
Va bene.
Non rimanere qui, lo sistemo io.
222
00:16:49,252 --> 00:16:51,550
(Scots accent) They tell me you're a tasty faker.
223
00:16:51,621 --> 00:16:55,421
Haven't had time to see the word is on you yet,
from back home, like.
224
00:16:55,491 --> 00:16:57,982
Luciano? Where the hell did you get
a name like that?
225
00:16:58,061 --> 00:17:00,825
About five years back, when I first come here.
226
00:17:00,897 --> 00:17:03,092
Used to be Louis, Louis Tilly.
227
00:17:03,166 --> 00:17:07,125
Before a series of unfortunate altercations
with Scotland Yard's Fraud Squad
228
00:17:07,203 --> 00:17:08,670
drove me to sunnier climes.
229
00:17:09,739 --> 00:17:12,503
Called myself Luciano
because he was lucky.
230
00:17:12,575 --> 00:17:16,739
So far so have I been, especially since
copping this job a couple of years back.
231
00:17:16,813 --> 00:17:18,440
Come on.
232
00:17:19,816 --> 00:17:22,046
Is there, er... (Clears throat)
233
00:17:22,118 --> 00:17:24,245
...anything else I should know?
234
00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:25,947
Yeah.
235
00:17:28,691 --> 00:17:30,852
I don't want anybody screwing up this caper.
236
00:17:30,927 --> 00:17:32,895
Don't want no one bollocking up my retirement
237
00:17:32,962 --> 00:17:36,363
by being too curious or too greedy
or too naughty.
238
00:17:36,432 --> 00:17:40,528
No, no. I tell all the new boys the same.
Just keep your nose clean, do your job,
239
00:17:40,603 --> 00:17:43,663
and there'll be more than a drink
in it for you at the end of the day.
240
00:17:43,740 --> 00:17:49,303
Lucky, do I look like the kind of fella
that would ruin your retirement?
241
00:17:49,378 --> 00:17:51,107
You'd better not.
242
00:17:51,180 --> 00:17:55,082
Lake Como's what I had in mind.
Good for my chest.
243
00:17:55,151 --> 00:17:58,416
Lake Como after this... bleeding dungeon.
244
00:17:58,488 --> 00:18:01,889
- Where the hell are we anyway?
- Did I not tell you not to ask questions?
245
00:18:01,958 --> 00:18:05,689
- I'm sorry, Lucky.
- Have you not heard a word I said?
246
00:18:05,762 --> 00:18:10,062
- A force of habit.
- Well, change your habits, if you're gonna stay.
247
00:18:10,133 --> 00:18:13,330
I didn't know cameras were allowed
in the Cora Museum.
248
00:18:13,402 --> 00:18:15,802
- They're not.
- Then I'm impressed.
249
00:18:17,874 --> 00:18:20,240
With the fake.
250
00:18:20,309 --> 00:18:23,369
- (Shouts) Very good ageing.
- He's not deaf, you know.
251
00:18:23,446 --> 00:18:25,038
His squaring is a bit dodgy though.
252
00:18:25,114 --> 00:18:28,743
It's easier for forging but it wouldn't fool
a seasoned connoisseur,
253
00:18:28,818 --> 00:18:31,616
especially if he had an X-ray machine handy.
254
00:18:31,687 --> 00:18:33,052
Non toccare.
255
00:18:33,122 --> 00:18:35,522
Yeah, a proper little know-all you are,
aren't ya?
256
00:18:49,705 --> 00:18:51,570
- It's you.
- Me.
257
00:18:51,641 --> 00:18:53,575
- Good.
- I know.
258
00:18:53,643 --> 00:18:55,110
Oh, I know it is, son.
259
00:18:55,178 --> 00:18:56,543
You know what they say.
260
00:18:56,612 --> 00:19:00,207
A great fake must be better than the original.
261
00:19:02,919 --> 00:19:04,910
Come on, we'll get you started.
262
00:19:09,525 --> 00:19:12,016
È buono, eh?
263
00:19:12,094 --> 00:19:13,686
Di mangiare.
264
00:19:24,273 --> 00:19:30,473
(Rumbling)
265
00:19:30,546 --> 00:19:32,537
What's that, uh... What's that noise?
266
00:19:32,615 --> 00:19:34,742
Boom, boom, boom,
boom, boom, boom?
267
00:19:34,817 --> 00:19:37,411
- Scusi?
- Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
268
00:19:37,486 --> 00:19:39,784
Oh, forget it.
269
00:19:44,961 --> 00:19:46,451
(Groans)
270
00:19:49,065 --> 00:19:53,331
No grub, no girls, no gossip.
And I volunteered.
271
00:21:10,346 --> 00:21:13,782
Tomorrow I go south.
To convalesce with my family.
272
00:21:15,284 --> 00:21:17,946
If I get out of this in one piece
I might come and join you.
273
00:21:18,020 --> 00:21:19,783
I wish you would.
274
00:21:21,090 --> 00:21:23,490
Why did you get so mixed up in all this?
275
00:21:23,559 --> 00:21:25,720
I don't know.
276
00:21:25,795 --> 00:21:27,763
Everything got blurred.
277
00:21:27,830 --> 00:21:31,630
You see, this man Pinder in England...
and then there's this operation in Venice
278
00:21:31,701 --> 00:21:33,896
but I don't know if he knows what going on.
279
00:21:33,970 --> 00:21:36,666
Do you think the people here
are cheating him?
280
00:21:36,739 --> 00:21:38,969
Yes. He didn't know I was in Venice,
281
00:21:39,041 --> 00:21:41,669
so he can't be blamed for me
being followed or attacked.
282
00:21:41,744 --> 00:21:45,680
And I think Lavinia's flying in planeloads
of rich tourists to sell off the merchandise.
283
00:21:45,748 --> 00:21:48,842
I'm sorry but does not Pinder
wish to sell them?
284
00:21:48,918 --> 00:21:51,148
No, I really believe that he wants
to preserve them.
285
00:21:51,220 --> 00:21:54,018
But Lavinia, I really don't know
what her game is.
286
00:21:54,090 --> 00:21:57,389
And I don't know if Caterina knows
and I don't know what Tonio is,
287
00:21:57,460 --> 00:22:00,258
if he's a boyfriend, if so,
whose boyfriend he is and...
288
00:22:00,329 --> 00:22:02,627
For your sake I don't know
if I should be telling you this.
289
00:22:02,698 --> 00:22:05,189
Oh, please. I'm quite safe here.
290
00:22:13,542 --> 00:22:16,204
- You know when we went to Torcello?
- Mm-hm.
291
00:22:17,246 --> 00:22:19,510
I wanted you
to make love to me that day.
292
00:22:33,596 --> 00:22:35,188
- Cesare?
- Sii?
293
00:22:35,264 --> 00:22:37,755
The Lido steamers, which routes do they take?
294
00:22:37,833 --> 00:22:43,271
They go to St Michele,
Murano, Burano, Torcello...
295
00:22:43,339 --> 00:22:45,830
- No, that's too large, too inhabited.
- For what?
296
00:22:45,908 --> 00:22:47,705
For what I have in mind.
297
00:22:47,777 --> 00:22:51,679
- Uh, to the south they go to...
- No, forget the south, that's too far.
298
00:22:51,747 --> 00:22:54,875
That leaves the islands, the Lido runs.
299
00:22:54,950 --> 00:22:57,077
Which ones of these that are uninhabited?
300
00:22:57,153 --> 00:22:59,314
- Here, here...
- What about that one?
301
00:22:59,388 --> 00:23:01,720
Nothing, only rats.
302
00:23:01,791 --> 00:23:04,783
Are there warnings of poison?
There are many rats here.
303
00:23:04,860 --> 00:23:06,384
Only rats?
304
00:23:10,933 --> 00:23:15,029
Sii, sii, sii. Un attimo, un attimo!
Lo sistemo io.
305
00:23:29,452 --> 00:23:30,885
Lost in thought, Lovejoy?
306
00:23:30,953 --> 00:23:34,354
It would speed things up if I could rig
one of those hoists up in here.
307
00:23:34,423 --> 00:23:37,984
It could save us days rolling
these stones all over the floor.
308
00:23:38,060 --> 00:23:40,722
Yeah, why not? Do it.
309
00:23:40,796 --> 00:23:44,061
- I could put a cross piece against the wall...
- Do it, son, do it.
310
00:23:54,677 --> 00:23:57,805
- Fancy a bite, Lucky?
- I hate boats.
311
00:24:09,725 --> 00:24:13,991
I live above here. Small, but it suffices.
312
00:24:14,063 --> 00:24:15,553
Until Lake Como.
313
00:24:17,066 --> 00:24:19,432
If no one bollocks up, right.
314
00:24:19,502 --> 00:24:21,527
Why can't you go back to the UK?
315
00:24:21,604 --> 00:24:25,062
Oh, I could risk it.
Forged passport, I suppose.
316
00:24:25,141 --> 00:24:26,768
How'd you do that?
317
00:24:29,612 --> 00:24:31,637
Settled in Italy, though.
318
00:24:31,714 --> 00:24:36,344
Like all those footballers.
Brady and Wilkins and Hateley.
319
00:24:36,418 --> 00:24:39,216
Marvelous. Hateley, oh!
320
00:24:39,288 --> 00:24:41,984
And we've adjusted to a different way of life.
321
00:24:43,392 --> 00:24:45,292
Lucky?
322
00:24:45,361 --> 00:24:47,261
Must of that stuff's crap.
323
00:24:49,265 --> 00:24:51,233
That forgery factory is a cover, isn't it?
324
00:24:52,168 --> 00:24:53,863
What are you on about, son?
325
00:24:53,936 --> 00:24:58,566
You're an ace, you've got
the best manuscript hand I've ever seen,
326
00:24:58,641 --> 00:25:01,872
you must know you're working
with a bunch of second-raters.
327
00:25:01,944 --> 00:25:05,710
I mean, you age your canvas
before you paint on it, Domenico doesn't.
328
00:25:05,781 --> 00:25:08,045
And he uses acrylics, for Christ's sake.
329
00:25:08,117 --> 00:25:11,280
The wood carvings are done on American pine,
which stinks the place out.
330
00:25:11,353 --> 00:25:14,481
What's your game, Lovejoy?
What is your game?
331
00:25:14,557 --> 00:25:16,889
You're an expert, why aren't they?
332
00:25:19,495 --> 00:25:22,123
Must admit, not the class they once were.
333
00:25:24,633 --> 00:25:26,396
But don't ask questions, son,
334
00:25:26,468 --> 00:25:28,595
don't be young and foolish.
335
00:25:28,671 --> 00:25:30,536
Money's too powerful.
336
00:25:32,308 --> 00:25:34,970
It's giving us our orders, right?
337
00:25:35,044 --> 00:25:40,311
There'll be a reek of terrible vengeance
on those who oppose its wishes.
338
00:25:40,382 --> 00:25:45,581
Is there something in the air in Venice
that makes people talk like Shakespeare?
339
00:25:45,654 --> 00:25:47,178
I'll say it plainly.
340
00:25:47,256 --> 00:25:52,284
Go home, sleep, come to work.
Go home, sleep, come to work.
341
00:25:52,361 --> 00:25:54,886
That's the way to live.
342
00:25:55,831 --> 00:25:58,891
- To dishonest endeavor.
- Not for the next two days.
343
00:25:58,968 --> 00:26:01,732
High water - they won't ship us out in that.
344
00:26:01,804 --> 00:26:04,602
- Why's that?
- Acqua alta.
345
00:26:11,981 --> 00:26:13,972
Eric followed Caterina to Heathrow.
346
00:26:15,050 --> 00:26:18,542
Yes, she took an Alitalia, 6:00p.m.
347
00:26:18,621 --> 00:26:21,112
Yes, 6.00p.m., flight to Venice.
348
00:26:22,191 --> 00:26:26,389
Oh, by the way, Eric would like
reimbursement of petrol money.
349
00:26:28,397 --> 00:26:31,560
What? I'll tell him you said that.
350
00:26:33,669 --> 00:26:35,261
- Ho preso i fiori, signore.
- Bello.
351
00:26:35,337 --> 00:26:37,532
- Ti piacciono?
- Bella, signora.
352
00:26:37,606 --> 00:26:40,268
- Signorina Caterina Norman.
- Sii.
353
00:26:40,342 --> 00:26:42,708
- Palazzo Malcontento.
- Sii.
354
00:26:42,778 --> 00:26:46,737
- Bene. Diecimilli.
- Grazie. Bene.
355
00:26:46,815 --> 00:26:48,783
- Grazie.
- Grazie. Buongiorno.
356
00:27:04,133 --> 00:27:06,101
Thank you for the flowers, Lovejoy.
357
00:27:06,168 --> 00:27:08,261
I never knew you cared.
358
00:27:08,337 --> 00:27:12,433
I couldn't think of any other way of getting in
contact with you, but I'm glad you like them.
359
00:27:12,508 --> 00:27:14,601
- Why all the cloak and dagger?
- Well...
360
00:27:14,677 --> 00:27:17,407
- Let's have a drink.
- Thank you.
361
00:27:19,782 --> 00:27:22,444
I think Lavinia is pulling one over on Grandad.
362
00:27:22,518 --> 00:27:24,543
Really?
363
00:27:24,620 --> 00:27:27,316
- Oh, tell me what you know.
- I'll tell you what I think.
364
00:27:27,389 --> 00:27:29,687
Firstly, you told Lavinia I was going to Venice,
365
00:27:29,758 --> 00:27:32,022
I mean, that's natural,
but you didn't tell Pinder.
366
00:27:32,094 --> 00:27:34,358
Oh, no, I didn't wanna alarm him.
367
00:27:34,430 --> 00:27:36,330
Well, I found out he didn't know.
368
00:27:36,398 --> 00:27:39,424
So I knew it wasn't his idea when things
started to get nasty around here
369
00:27:39,501 --> 00:27:41,731
including trying to knock me off.
370
00:27:41,804 --> 00:27:43,795
You can't be serious!
371
00:27:43,872 --> 00:27:47,364
I am, Caterina. Well, I am.
372
00:27:48,077 --> 00:27:50,068
Sis and company play hardball.
373
00:27:50,145 --> 00:27:52,272
I think old Pinder's over the top
374
00:27:52,348 --> 00:27:55,579
but I do believe that if he's trying
to preserve Venice's treasures
375
00:27:55,651 --> 00:27:59,519
- until the day that he imagines it sinks.
- He is.
376
00:27:59,588 --> 00:28:03,285
All the items are photographed or modeled
before they're forged
377
00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:05,623
and then the originals are sold somewhere.
378
00:28:05,694 --> 00:28:07,958
Yes, in Tuscany.
I'm not telling you where.
379
00:28:08,030 --> 00:28:11,397
But not before they're replaced by the fakes.
380
00:28:11,467 --> 00:28:12,957
I'm listening.
381
00:28:13,035 --> 00:28:16,129
Well, Grandpa's saving Venice
and Lavinia's selling it.
382
00:28:16,205 --> 00:28:20,107
That's why she's flying in planeloads
of rich buyers for the originals.
383
00:28:20,175 --> 00:28:23,167
They don't reach Tuscany,
the fakes end up there
384
00:28:23,245 --> 00:28:25,236
and not very good fakes at that.
385
00:28:25,314 --> 00:28:28,647
- Some of the originals reach Tuscany.
- What?
386
00:28:28,717 --> 00:28:32,710
Well, I don't steal them all,
I'm not that stupid or that greedy.
387
00:28:32,788 --> 00:28:35,120
Just the ones that are easiest to sell.
388
00:28:35,190 --> 00:28:38,626
- Caterina?
- Caterina's at the beauty salon.
389
00:28:38,694 --> 00:28:41,629
It is a shame she's going to miss
your beautiful flowers.
390
00:28:41,697 --> 00:28:43,324
Oh, Lavinia.
391
00:28:45,601 --> 00:28:47,694
Oh, I just had to open the card, Lovejoy.
392
00:28:47,770 --> 00:28:52,537
You know how curious sisters are
about the other one's admirers.
393
00:28:52,608 --> 00:28:57,238
Oh, and I am a fan, Lovejoy.
You have been very clever.
394
00:28:57,312 --> 00:29:00,110
A little too clever, my friend.
395
00:29:01,183 --> 00:29:04,084
It is a shame though.
396
00:29:04,153 --> 00:29:07,589
I was really getting quite fond of you.
397
00:29:07,656 --> 00:29:10,489
I can't bear to watch this,
I'm gonna take a shower.
398
00:29:10,559 --> 00:29:11,856
Yeah.
399
00:29:16,698 --> 00:29:18,723
Oh, shit!
400
00:29:34,183 --> 00:29:36,310
Gerry, look what the tide's washed up.
401
00:29:42,257 --> 00:29:44,919
(Coughs)
402
00:29:52,701 --> 00:29:57,536
I don't think the high dive
is your strong suit, sport.
403
00:29:57,606 --> 00:29:59,870
Lovejoy, I'm not a shrink
but if you'd like to tell us
404
00:29:59,942 --> 00:30:03,673
why you're throwing yourself into
the Grand Canal, me and Gerry are all ears.
405
00:30:03,745 --> 00:30:05,474
Things that desperate, sport?
406
00:30:05,547 --> 00:30:08,744
That cute little Cosima give you
the old heave-ho, did she?
407
00:30:08,817 --> 00:30:12,617
If I hadn't jumped I'd have ended up
in there anyway with concrete boots on.
408
00:30:12,688 --> 00:30:16,249
Jesus! Sport, if you're in some sort
of trouble, count me in.
409
00:30:16,325 --> 00:30:18,623
Gerry loves a spot of gratuitous violence.
410
00:30:18,694 --> 00:30:22,824
We'll leave Keith in Como.
Don't want to offend his artistic temperament.
411
00:30:22,898 --> 00:30:24,456
Don't be a boring bitch, Gerry.
412
00:30:24,533 --> 00:30:27,525
- Oh, no, you're not gay.
- Isn't everyone these days?
413
00:30:27,603 --> 00:30:29,662
You're not upset, are you, Lovejoy?
414
00:30:29,738 --> 00:30:32,332
There's no such thing
as an Australian homosexual.
415
00:30:32,407 --> 00:30:35,672
It's a natural reaction
against all that surfboarding,
416
00:30:35,744 --> 00:30:38,440
beer-swilling, sheep-shearing macho bullshit.
417
00:30:42,718 --> 00:30:44,686
Can I borrow some clothes?
418
00:30:44,753 --> 00:30:47,586
I don't wanna risk going back to the hotel.
419
00:30:48,223 --> 00:30:51,681
Don't you think coming back
to our place is a risk?
420
00:31:07,676 --> 00:31:09,473
- Lucky?
- (Knock on door)
421
00:31:14,182 --> 00:31:18,084
- (Knock on door)
- (Lovejoy) Lucky?
422
00:31:20,923 --> 00:31:23,414
Are you going to let me in?
423
00:31:23,492 --> 00:31:26,461
- What's happened?
- Trouble.
424
00:31:26,528 --> 00:31:29,497
- What?
- I'm going after the people behind the scam.
425
00:31:30,866 --> 00:31:35,098
- Are you a cop or something?
- No, self interest, vengeful spite.
426
00:31:35,170 --> 00:31:38,469
- Got a drink?
- Yeah, beer or wine?
427
00:31:38,540 --> 00:31:40,337
Beer, please.
428
00:31:45,213 --> 00:31:47,374
Why are you telling me all this?
429
00:31:47,449 --> 00:31:49,349
To warn you. I'm gonna bust that place open,
430
00:31:49,418 --> 00:31:52,683
that hoist you let me put up it's all part
of a plan to pull that wall right out.
431
00:31:52,754 --> 00:31:54,585
But that'll flood the place.
432
00:31:54,656 --> 00:31:58,183
Exactly - and screw up Lavinia and Tonio
and give us something to retire on.
433
00:31:58,260 --> 00:32:01,787
- Give us? Us?
- Well, naturally, Lucky.
434
00:32:01,863 --> 00:32:05,629
I need your help.
And to pick out a few choice pieces,
435
00:32:05,701 --> 00:32:07,328
I'd hate to ruin your retirement.
436
00:32:07,402 --> 00:32:10,530
Well, there's one thing,
it won't be in Italy now, will it?
437
00:32:10,606 --> 00:32:12,699
Oh, you could work anywhere.
438
00:32:12,774 --> 00:32:16,107
I think you quite fancy
going back to the old country.
439
00:32:17,679 --> 00:32:18,941
No.
440
00:32:19,014 --> 00:32:23,417
Listen, all I've got there is a hatchet-faced
sister-in-law up in Maryhill.
441
00:32:24,620 --> 00:32:26,144
Come off it.
442
00:32:26,221 --> 00:32:28,416
Dundee marmalade, Sunday Post
443
00:32:28,490 --> 00:32:31,584
and that bottle of Glenmorangie you just slipped
in the cupboard when I came in.
444
00:32:31,660 --> 00:32:34,993
- Bet you've got a haggis in the fridge.
- All right, all right.
445
00:32:35,063 --> 00:32:37,531
But that doesn't mean
I want to work there, does it?
446
00:32:37,599 --> 00:32:40,796
Thatcher, unemployment, strikes.
447
00:32:40,869 --> 00:32:43,360
Partick Thistle never making the grade.
448
00:32:46,642 --> 00:32:48,303
How would we do it?
449
00:32:50,178 --> 00:32:52,703
You've got no choice.
450
00:32:53,915 --> 00:32:55,815
You'll be out of a job tomorrow.
451
00:32:55,884 --> 00:32:58,045
- Not one of us knows where they take...
- I do.
452
00:32:58,120 --> 00:33:01,055
- We're blindfolded until we get...
- I know!
453
00:33:02,424 --> 00:33:04,221
- You would need a boat.
- Got one.
454
00:33:05,761 --> 00:33:08,559
The minute I clapped eyes on you
I knew you were trouble.
455
00:33:34,289 --> 00:33:36,849
Hang on to your stomach, Lucky,
we're nearly there.
456
00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:15,157
Come on, Lucky, come on.
457
00:34:15,230 --> 00:34:18,358
How did you work out the island?
458
00:34:18,433 --> 00:34:22,563
I recognized the sound of the Lido steamers.
459
00:34:22,637 --> 00:34:27,802
I timed their tos and fros and checked that
against the routes and worked it out from there.
460
00:34:27,876 --> 00:34:31,539
Is, um... this place secured, anyway?
461
00:34:31,613 --> 00:34:33,843
Padlocks, easy.
462
00:34:33,915 --> 00:34:36,076
It's a doddle, then, Louis.
463
00:34:36,151 --> 00:34:40,281
I just wish you'd stop saying that, son.
I've screwed up my whole life, you know.
464
00:34:42,591 --> 00:34:44,388
What's that?
465
00:34:49,564 --> 00:34:51,031
A lot of rats.
466
00:34:51,099 --> 00:34:54,728
Well, that wasn't the wind
in the bleedin' undergrowth.
467
00:34:55,771 --> 00:34:57,432
(Squeaking)
468
00:35:01,977 --> 00:35:04,104
I hate rats.
469
00:35:04,179 --> 00:35:05,908
Come on, Lovejoy.
470
00:35:05,981 --> 00:35:09,781
In 1974, they found one four feet long.
471
00:35:13,989 --> 00:35:20,224
(Lucky) Considering what's in here you'd think
they'd make it a bit more difficult to get in.
472
00:35:20,295 --> 00:35:24,288
(Lovejoy) Four feet long?
(Lucky) Yeah. And that was in 1974.
473
00:35:32,641 --> 00:35:34,939
Come on, Lovejoy, get the light on.
474
00:35:36,178 --> 00:35:37,805
That's one.
475
00:35:46,888 --> 00:35:48,753
You know what this really is, don't you?
476
00:35:48,824 --> 00:35:51,952
Yeah. Bloody great cork.
477
00:35:52,027 --> 00:35:55,519
Anything pulling it from the outside
will bring a chunk of wall down.
478
00:35:55,597 --> 00:35:57,656
And I'm down here.
479
00:35:57,732 --> 00:35:59,029
We will be.
480
00:36:14,182 --> 00:36:16,241
Lucky, go and see where I come out.
481
00:36:21,189 --> 00:36:22,315
Oh, go on!
482
00:36:24,326 --> 00:36:27,295
Oh, shut your face, you're making me nervous.
483
00:36:35,136 --> 00:36:36,763
(Squeaking)
484
00:36:45,847 --> 00:36:47,872
Lovejoy?
485
00:37:10,672 --> 00:37:12,640
(Banging)
486
00:37:20,081 --> 00:37:21,708
Lucky?
487
00:37:21,783 --> 00:37:23,580
Lucky!
488
00:37:23,652 --> 00:37:24,949
Lucky?
489
00:37:26,721 --> 00:37:28,450
Can you hear me?
490
00:37:28,523 --> 00:37:33,222
- Lovejoy?
- Lucky?
491
00:37:33,295 --> 00:37:36,458
Lovejoy? Lovejoy?
492
00:37:42,938 --> 00:37:45,600
- Lucky?
- Lovejoy?
493
00:37:49,044 --> 00:37:50,705
Go.
494
00:37:53,415 --> 00:37:55,406
Pull!
495
00:37:55,483 --> 00:37:56,609
That's it!
496
00:38:00,989 --> 00:38:02,957
Easy, easy, go on.
497
00:38:03,024 --> 00:38:07,984
Go, hold it. That's it.
498
00:38:15,603 --> 00:38:17,833
Did you find it, Lucky?
499
00:38:17,906 --> 00:38:20,101
I know these don't compare
to your manuscripts
500
00:38:20,175 --> 00:38:23,576
but they'll fool the average punter.
501
00:38:23,645 --> 00:38:29,743
Oh, good evening. I was just, uh...
putting in a little overtime, Lavinia.
502
00:38:29,818 --> 00:38:34,050
- It's Caterina.
- I'm sorry you didn't get my flowers.
503
00:38:34,122 --> 00:38:39,287
In England I warned you that your situation
would be vulnerable if you turned against us.
504
00:38:39,361 --> 00:38:42,091
You mean it's not your sis
that's ripping off Grandad?
505
00:38:42,163 --> 00:38:44,791
No, it's much more complicated than that.
506
00:38:44,866 --> 00:38:49,428
Lavinia's stealing the originals
and sending some of the fakes to Tuscany,
507
00:38:49,504 --> 00:38:51,768
only they don't all reach Tuscany
508
00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:53,899
because Tonio and I have an arrangement.
509
00:38:53,975 --> 00:38:55,602
- Oh, you sell the fakes.
- Yes.
510
00:38:55,677 --> 00:38:59,135
What a nice family!
Are you related to the Borgias?
511
00:39:02,283 --> 00:39:03,614
What about the Savoldo?
512
00:39:03,685 --> 00:39:05,312
Tell me about Malleson.
513
00:39:05,387 --> 00:39:08,288
It was one of the fakes that we sold in England.
514
00:39:08,356 --> 00:39:10,051
Unfortunately it turned up at an auction,
515
00:39:10,125 --> 00:39:13,720
and being Venetian,
attracted my grandfather's attention.
516
00:39:13,795 --> 00:39:16,286
- He wouldn't have killed for it, though.
- Accidental.
517
00:39:16,364 --> 00:39:19,424
Oh, yes, you didn't mean to hit him
that hard, did you?
518
00:39:19,501 --> 00:39:21,969
I didn't mean to hit him that hard.
519
00:39:23,405 --> 00:39:24,702
Tonio.
520
00:39:25,106 --> 00:39:28,633
Drop that gun or I'll blow
your bleedin' balls all over the wall.
521
00:39:37,385 --> 00:39:38,750
What the?
522
00:39:38,820 --> 00:39:40,117
That's not a gun!
523
00:39:48,596 --> 00:39:51,292
Ooh! Oh!
524
00:39:59,874 --> 00:40:01,842
(Gunshot)
525
00:40:08,116 --> 00:40:09,777
Take it easy, Lucky.
526
00:40:09,851 --> 00:40:11,580
(Banging)
527
00:40:11,653 --> 00:40:13,280
Lucky?
528
00:40:18,726 --> 00:40:20,023
Hold it, son.
529
00:40:20,095 --> 00:40:22,063
- The chain's attached to the back.
- So?
530
00:40:22,130 --> 00:40:23,722
Loosen it off.
531
00:40:23,798 --> 00:40:26,392
They killed a friend of mine,
they would have killed us too.
532
00:40:26,468 --> 00:40:27,435
But you can't.
533
00:40:29,037 --> 00:40:31,801
By the time we get out of this place,
they're gonna be gone.
534
00:40:31,873 --> 00:40:34,068
We'll find them. And I want Lovejoy.
535
00:40:34,142 --> 00:40:36,440
Oh, no, no, Lovejoy is mine.
536
00:40:48,189 --> 00:40:50,316
- You let them out, didn't you?
- No.
537
00:40:50,391 --> 00:40:53,883
- Listen, you did, didn't you?
- Yeah.
538
00:40:56,664 --> 00:40:57,688
(Crashing)
539
00:40:57,765 --> 00:40:59,699
Untie that boat!
540
00:41:05,173 --> 00:41:07,198
Oh, my God.
541
00:41:08,209 --> 00:41:10,439
Clever little so-and-so, aren't you?
542
00:41:10,512 --> 00:41:13,345
That stuff in them tubes
must be worth a bob or two.
543
00:41:13,414 --> 00:41:16,815
I owe you one, Lucky.
I've caused you enough trouble already.
544
00:41:16,885 --> 00:41:19,080
No, you've probably done me a favor.
545
00:41:19,154 --> 00:41:20,678
(Lovejoy) How's that?
546
00:41:20,755 --> 00:41:23,349
(Lucky) Well, with all that double dealing
going on,
547
00:41:23,424 --> 00:41:27,053
the bubble was bound to burst,
and sooner rather than later.
548
00:41:27,128 --> 00:41:29,096
I would have been done, wouldn't I?
549
00:41:29,164 --> 00:41:31,257
(Lovejoy) Oh, you're well out of it.
550
00:41:39,474 --> 00:41:41,442
(Coughing)
551
00:41:50,185 --> 00:41:52,710
What are you two doing here?
552
00:41:52,787 --> 00:41:56,052
Doesn't it make you wonder
that we keep popping up?
553
00:41:57,125 --> 00:41:59,616
We've been on your tail since day one, sport.
554
00:41:59,694 --> 00:42:02,458
- On my tail?
- We're sort of police.
555
00:42:02,530 --> 00:42:04,794
Art Squad.
556
00:42:04,866 --> 00:42:06,663
Am I under arrest?
557
00:42:06,734 --> 00:42:09,498
You might have to hang around for a while.
558
00:42:09,571 --> 00:42:11,801
We're after bigger fish.
559
00:42:11,873 --> 00:42:13,534
Local clink's not bad, though.
560
00:42:13,608 --> 00:42:15,940
- We'll see you're OK, Lovejoy.
- The grub's good.
561
00:42:16,010 --> 00:42:17,136
- Lots of pasta.
- Yeah.
562
00:42:17,212 --> 00:42:20,841
Oh, if you get a choice of cells,
don't take the basement.
563
00:42:20,915 --> 00:42:22,576
Tendency to damp.
564
00:42:57,986 --> 00:43:01,513
So those Art Squad guys,
they've been on the case for ages.
565
00:43:01,589 --> 00:43:02,886
Bunch of bloody amateurs.
566
00:43:02,957 --> 00:43:05,517
And according to Lovejoy,
fakes began to appear all over...
567
00:43:05,593 --> 00:43:08,426
What professional art thief
would have been that careless?
568
00:43:08,496 --> 00:43:11,795
- I agree, but what I don't understand...
- (Cheers)
569
00:43:11,866 --> 00:43:14,391
Or what profoundly distresses me
570
00:43:14,469 --> 00:43:19,065
is why he isn't languishing
in some wretched Italian prison right now.
571
00:43:19,140 --> 00:43:21,074
Well, they had nothing on me.
572
00:43:21,142 --> 00:43:22,609
Oh, here's your change, Jane.
573
00:43:22,677 --> 00:43:26,545
Well, apart from stealing a boat,
and I've got away with that before, haven't I?
574
00:43:26,614 --> 00:43:28,980
- I helped them.
- How'd you do that?
575
00:43:29,050 --> 00:43:31,644
Well, they took me to this villa in Tuscany.
576
00:43:31,719 --> 00:43:33,380
That's where you sent this postcard from.
577
00:43:33,454 --> 00:43:36,651
Anyway, this is where all the stuff was stashed
and I separated the crap from the genuine.
578
00:43:36,724 --> 00:43:38,123
- You might have put a stamp on it.
- Mm?
579
00:43:38,192 --> 00:43:42,151
As someone with a vested interest
in the fiscal fortune of Lovejoy Antiques,
580
00:43:42,230 --> 00:43:45,961
am I to understand we've sod all to show
for this jaunt?
581
00:43:46,034 --> 00:43:48,002
Oh, I wasn't in it for the money.
582
00:43:48,069 --> 00:43:50,333
I wanted to see criminals brought to justice.
583
00:43:50,405 --> 00:43:54,432
Oh, so you're still broke
and fairly desperate then, are you?
584
00:43:58,012 --> 00:44:02,779
(Jane) It's true what Charlie said, isn't it?
You are as broke as ever?
585
00:44:02,850 --> 00:44:04,750
Yep.
586
00:44:04,819 --> 00:44:06,787
You've got to stop chasing all over the place,
587
00:44:06,854 --> 00:44:10,790
getting into all sorts of trouble and...
scaring your friends.
588
00:44:14,662 --> 00:44:18,621
- You were scared?
- I was worried, we all were.
589
00:44:20,668 --> 00:44:22,295
You missed me.
590
00:44:22,370 --> 00:44:26,807
Lovejoy, I missed you
more than I'm prepared to say.
591
00:44:26,874 --> 00:44:28,705
It's very disconcerting.
592
00:44:28,776 --> 00:44:30,835
I missed you, I always do.
593
00:44:30,912 --> 00:44:34,006
Well you had Nancy and Cosima to amuse you.
594
00:44:34,082 --> 00:44:37,142
Oh, and Lavinia and Caterina
and Lord knows who else.
595
00:44:37,218 --> 00:44:39,345
Lady Felsham, I do believe you're jealous.
596
00:44:39,420 --> 00:44:41,684
- No, I am not!
- Yes, you are.
597
00:44:41,756 --> 00:44:43,314
I know, it's pathetic.
598
00:44:52,133 --> 00:44:56,433
You are the one person in the world I could
never lie to, about women or anything else.
599
00:44:57,038 --> 00:45:02,032
So if you're wondering if I slept with any
of those women, the answer is a categorical no.
600
00:45:11,152 --> 00:45:14,781
- Hello, son.
- Oh, Lucky.
601
00:45:14,856 --> 00:45:17,017
(Laughs)
602
00:45:19,160 --> 00:45:22,323
Hey, quaint little neck of the woods
you live in here.
603
00:45:22,397 --> 00:45:24,797
What the hell are you doing here anyway?
604
00:45:24,866 --> 00:45:28,324
- Listen, do you want a cup of tea?
- Mm.
605
00:45:28,403 --> 00:45:32,237
See, after you dropped me off that night,
I did everything you taught me -
606
00:45:32,306 --> 00:45:37,005
I went to ground, fixed myself a new passport
after a while and came home.
607
00:45:39,213 --> 00:45:41,181
- I've got something for you.
- Yeah?
608
00:45:47,388 --> 00:45:51,188
- Oh, Lucky.
- No, no, no, you need a stake.
609
00:45:52,059 --> 00:45:55,256
Jeez, it's freezing in here.
So's the whole of England.
610
00:45:55,329 --> 00:45:57,229
- No, you can't.
- Please.
611
00:45:57,298 --> 00:46:01,098
- You've got the other one.
- Oh, yes.
612
00:46:01,169 --> 00:46:04,297
- My retirement, isn't it?
- Lake Como.
613
00:46:04,372 --> 00:46:06,636
No, Maryhill.
614
00:46:06,707 --> 00:46:08,004
OK, Lovejoy.
615
00:46:10,745 --> 00:46:13,043
Which one was it?
616
00:46:13,093 --> 00:46:17,643
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