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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,010 --> 00:00:03,036 (Man) Who'll start me at 100? 100 for a start. 2 00:00:03,113 --> 00:00:05,138 100 I'm bid. 100 I'm bid. 3 00:00:05,215 --> 00:00:08,082 Who'll give me 10, who'll make it 110? I'm looking for 110. 4 00:00:08,152 --> 00:00:10,211 100? 110 I'm bid. 110? 5 00:00:10,287 --> 00:00:13,779 Who'll make it 20? Come on, gentlemen, who'll make it 20? 6 00:00:13,857 --> 00:00:16,257 120 I'm bid. It's with you, madam, at 120. 7 00:00:16,326 --> 00:00:18,794 Do I hear 50? 150 anywhere? 8 00:00:18,862 --> 00:00:23,561 Come on, gentlemen, that's a genuine antique. They don't come up every day. 150? 9 00:00:23,634 --> 00:00:25,431 150 I'm bid. 10 00:00:28,305 --> 00:00:30,739 Come on, gentlemen, I'm looking for 350. 11 00:00:30,808 --> 00:00:33,038 350 anywhere? 12 00:00:33,110 --> 00:00:36,136 Don't lose it, madam, don't lose it for another 50. 13 00:00:36,213 --> 00:00:39,671 350 anywhere? 350 I'm bid. 14 00:00:39,750 --> 00:00:42,981 At 350. Who'll make it four? I'm looking for four. 15 00:00:43,053 --> 00:00:45,920 Any more? At 350. 16 00:00:45,989 --> 00:00:50,187 Are you all done? At 350? At 350... 17 00:00:51,562 --> 00:00:53,496 Lovejoy. 18 00:01:01,238 --> 00:01:03,069 Call up Tim. 19 00:01:08,712 --> 00:01:10,009 What the hell? 20 00:01:14,284 --> 00:01:16,809 Scam. An antique scam. 21 00:01:16,887 --> 00:01:19,856 - Not "an". The scam. - On what? 22 00:01:19,923 --> 00:01:21,117 It's Venice. 23 00:01:21,191 --> 00:01:24,160 - Well, what in Venice? - (Woman) Venice itself. 24 00:01:24,228 --> 00:01:26,287 Great, how did we get it through Customs? 25 00:01:26,363 --> 00:01:31,198 Now that young man knows everything I told him. 26 00:01:31,268 --> 00:01:33,031 That won't be a problem. 27 00:01:33,103 --> 00:01:36,869 Well, if it's not absurd, I don't think you're the kind of people I wanna work for. 28 00:01:36,940 --> 00:01:40,432 Well, if it's not absurd and you don't work for us, 29 00:01:40,511 --> 00:01:45,073 wouldn't that make your position rather... vulnerable? 30 00:01:45,149 --> 00:01:47,174 Are you threatening me, Caterina? 31 00:01:51,288 --> 00:01:52,983 (Horse neighs) 32 00:01:59,496 --> 00:02:02,431 Think of the resources that Pinder has backing him up. 33 00:02:02,499 --> 00:02:07,732 Know-how, expertise, manpower, money, money, more money. 34 00:02:07,805 --> 00:02:09,739 Go to the police, Lovejoy. 35 00:02:09,807 --> 00:02:13,436 If you're so convinced all these things add up, go to the police. 36 00:02:13,510 --> 00:02:16,104 Can you imagine our local law coming up against that lot? 37 00:02:16,180 --> 00:02:18,239 - I know that look. - What look? 38 00:02:18,315 --> 00:02:22,274 The look that says you're going to be impetuous, vengeful, 39 00:02:22,352 --> 00:02:23,944 irresponsible and stupid. 40 00:02:24,021 --> 00:02:24,988 Janey! 41 00:02:31,195 --> 00:02:33,789 - Hello! - Nancy, hello. Nice to see you. 42 00:02:33,864 --> 00:02:35,092 - You look lovely. - Thank you. 43 00:02:35,165 --> 00:02:38,828 In the 18th century, Venice abounded with artists. 44 00:02:38,902 --> 00:02:42,429 I mean, Canaletto, Tiepolo, Piazzetta, Ricci. 45 00:02:42,506 --> 00:02:45,373 Blokes who used the same boozer but became famous long after they were gone. 46 00:02:45,442 --> 00:02:50,402 And some old collector used to buy all their sketches and doodles and put on each scrap, 47 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:54,246 the artist's original name in beautiful copperplate writing. 48 00:02:54,318 --> 00:02:57,754 Nobody knows who he was but we call him "the reliable Venetian hand". 49 00:02:57,821 --> 00:03:01,348 - The RVH. - And you found one? 50 00:03:01,425 --> 00:03:03,154 They? Who are they? 51 00:03:03,227 --> 00:03:05,058 Miss Norman. 52 00:03:05,128 --> 00:03:07,619 She's my best client, so I did not refuse. 53 00:03:07,698 --> 00:03:09,893 Miss Norman, who lives at the Palazzo Malcontento? 54 00:03:09,967 --> 00:03:11,093 Sii. 55 00:03:11,168 --> 00:03:14,569 You see, she pays for many people to come to Venice through Cosul Tours. 56 00:03:14,638 --> 00:03:16,731 (Lovejoy) And Nancy the American girl is one of the tourists? 57 00:03:16,807 --> 00:03:17,933 Yes, that's right. 58 00:03:24,481 --> 00:03:26,005 (Gunshot) 59 00:03:42,299 --> 00:03:44,665 - Ah! - Shh. 60 00:03:44,735 --> 00:03:46,794 Listen, you've been shot, but you're OK. 61 00:03:46,870 --> 00:03:48,929 The bullet went right through your shoulder, OK? 62 00:03:49,006 --> 00:03:50,803 The shock made you unconscious for a minute. 63 00:03:50,874 --> 00:03:52,671 It must... have been the hunters. 64 00:03:52,743 --> 00:03:55,268 - Oh, yeah, yeah. - Ah! 65 00:03:55,345 --> 00:03:57,643 - An accident? - Oh, sure, an accident. 66 00:03:57,714 --> 00:04:01,115 Listen, Cosima, I don't think it was an accident. 67 00:04:01,184 --> 00:04:05,951 Listen, I don't know how to tell you this. I'm sorry, I don't know what I got you into. 68 00:04:06,023 --> 00:04:08,548 Please, it's not your fault. 69 00:04:10,060 --> 00:04:12,119 - Can you move? - Sii. 70 00:04:18,969 --> 00:04:21,665 - (Moans) - Shh. OK. 71 00:04:31,248 --> 00:04:33,944 There's a boat. OK? 72 00:04:34,017 --> 00:04:36,008 Come here. Trust me. 73 00:05:08,118 --> 00:05:10,484 (Nurse) Signor Lovejoy? Da questa parte, prego. 74 00:05:21,999 --> 00:05:24,627 - You're all right. - Yes. 75 00:05:26,937 --> 00:05:28,632 Did the police see you? 76 00:05:28,705 --> 00:05:32,607 Yes. By the time they've done their checking, I hope to have this business settled. 77 00:05:32,676 --> 00:05:35,873 - You must go away or hide. - No. 78 00:05:35,946 --> 00:05:37,573 - But, Signorina Norman... - Shh. 79 00:05:37,647 --> 00:05:40,548 No, no, they can't say anything, they'll implicate themselves. 80 00:05:41,218 --> 00:05:42,879 So what will you do? 81 00:05:45,455 --> 00:05:47,252 Plan B, love. 82 00:05:49,926 --> 00:05:51,257 Plan B. 83 00:05:52,596 --> 00:05:54,393 Lovejoy. Lovejoy Antiques. 84 00:05:56,366 --> 00:05:57,993 So much for plan B. 85 00:05:58,068 --> 00:06:00,593 (Lovejoy) 0h, you can get to Pinder with your charm. 86 00:06:00,670 --> 00:06:02,194 That's all you want me to ask him? 87 00:06:02,272 --> 00:06:03,739 Yeah. Will do. 88 00:06:03,807 --> 00:06:06,173 Oh, do you want me to wire you some money? 89 00:06:06,243 --> 00:06:11,044 Yes, I know you can't ask but you'll need some, you always do. 90 00:06:11,114 --> 00:06:12,979 OK, take care. 91 00:06:13,050 --> 00:06:16,645 Money? I assume that must be your friend Lovejoy. 92 00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:18,688 The poor dear's in some desperate mess. 93 00:06:18,755 --> 00:06:22,782 Do you know, I think it will be less trouble and of a lot less expense if we adopted him. 94 00:06:22,859 --> 00:06:25,885 He could have his own room, clean the horse brasses. 95 00:06:36,239 --> 00:06:38,036 Grazie. 96 00:06:39,209 --> 00:06:43,703 Dov'è Cosima? Nella sua camera, sii? 97 00:06:43,780 --> 00:06:47,375 You go with her yesterday, she not come back. 98 00:06:47,451 --> 00:06:49,681 Maledetti stranieri. 99 00:06:49,753 --> 00:06:53,211 I don't like the way you look at her. I don't like the way you look at anybody! 100 00:06:53,290 --> 00:06:55,315 Well don't look then, eh? 101 00:07:01,231 --> 00:07:04,962 - Now I hurt you pretty bad. - Oh, shit. 102 00:07:09,473 --> 00:07:13,910 (Australian accent) Lovejoy. You wanna kick his goolies, Pommie? 103 00:07:13,977 --> 00:07:15,342 Now's your chance. 104 00:07:15,412 --> 00:07:19,075 Oh, no, I'd never hit a man when somebody else can do it better. 105 00:07:19,149 --> 00:07:20,582 (Italian man groans) 106 00:07:21,985 --> 00:07:26,445 You've been in my house before, Lady Felsham, I remember you. 107 00:07:26,523 --> 00:07:30,482 With my husband, yes. It was some years ago, cocktails. 108 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:33,791 I remember all my parties, there are so few of them. 109 00:07:33,864 --> 00:07:36,924 But today you've come about Mr. Lovejoy. 110 00:07:37,100 --> 00:07:39,762 Yes, it's about the position you offered him. 111 00:07:39,836 --> 00:07:43,772 Did he tell you what the position entailed? 112 00:07:44,107 --> 00:07:47,565 No, only that it involved working with antiques in Venice. 113 00:07:48,845 --> 00:07:50,745 Unhappily he refused. 114 00:07:51,414 --> 00:07:55,578 I know, but he's changed his mind. He asked me to tell you. 115 00:07:56,353 --> 00:07:59,618 - I don't understand. - None of us understand Lovejoy, sir. 116 00:07:59,689 --> 00:08:01,316 - Shall I? - Please, please. 117 00:08:01,391 --> 00:08:04,827 He just wanted to see Venice before he made up his mind about living there. 118 00:08:04,895 --> 00:08:06,692 That's why he's there now. 119 00:08:07,531 --> 00:08:10,796 - Lovejoy's in Venice? - Yes. 120 00:08:10,867 --> 00:08:13,301 I thought you knew. 121 00:08:13,770 --> 00:08:15,067 No. 122 00:08:18,441 --> 00:08:21,706 Sii, praticamente la conferma è OK, i posti ci sono... 123 00:08:21,778 --> 00:08:25,942 - Giuseppe. - Lovejoy, what a crazy things to happen, 124 00:08:26,016 --> 00:08:28,610 I hope they find these madmen with guns. 125 00:08:28,685 --> 00:08:30,778 - How do you say it in English? - (Phone) 126 00:08:30,854 --> 00:08:32,617 - Same thing. Er... - Pronto... 127 00:08:32,689 --> 00:08:34,122 Momento, Giuseppe. 128 00:08:34,191 --> 00:08:38,025 - Where are the Americans? - Sono andati con Signora Norman. Guardi che... 129 00:08:38,094 --> 00:08:41,552 - Where? - Verso I'isola di Torcello, on the Temptress. 130 00:08:41,631 --> 00:08:44,725 - What's the Temptress, a private boat? - Sii, sii. 131 00:08:44,801 --> 00:08:47,065 - OK. Ciao, grazie. - Buongiorno... Ciao. 132 00:08:47,137 --> 00:08:50,163 Eh, sii... No, stavo parlando con un mio cliente, scusi, signora. 133 00:09:37,387 --> 00:09:38,684 Hi. Where are you off to? 134 00:09:38,755 --> 00:09:42,316 (Nancy) I'm with my boss. (Lovejoy) What's the matter? 135 00:09:42,392 --> 00:09:45,418 I was only going to ask you if you wanted to have dinner. 136 00:09:45,495 --> 00:09:49,431 No, we can't have dinner. We can't have anything. 137 00:09:49,499 --> 00:09:51,296 I like you, Lovejoy, but you're after something 138 00:09:51,368 --> 00:09:53,768 you could just screw my job up, OK? 139 00:10:11,955 --> 00:10:13,718 Signor Lovejoy? 140 00:10:14,724 --> 00:10:17,693 È un messaggio per lei da Inghilterra. È di una signora. 141 00:10:17,761 --> 00:10:19,729 - Oh, grazie. - Prego. 142 00:10:24,167 --> 00:10:26,032 I don't understand. 143 00:10:26,102 --> 00:10:28,696 You don't think the man in England wanted you shot? 144 00:10:28,772 --> 00:10:31,673 I had a call from home. Pinder does not know I'm in Venice, 145 00:10:31,741 --> 00:10:33,538 so he wasn't the one who ordered me followed. 146 00:10:33,610 --> 00:10:35,942 - Or shot at. - Right. 147 00:10:36,012 --> 00:10:38,276 Have you seen Signorina Norman? 148 00:10:38,348 --> 00:10:41,909 Couldn't get past the door, love, but I will tomorrow. 149 00:10:42,986 --> 00:10:45,113 We'd better let you rest. 150 00:11:03,073 --> 00:11:05,041 I believe I'm expected this time. 151 00:11:30,433 --> 00:11:31,730 Prego, signori. 152 00:11:47,317 --> 00:11:49,547 Caterina? I thought you were in England. 153 00:11:49,619 --> 00:11:51,951 She is, I'm Lavinia. 154 00:11:52,989 --> 00:11:55,014 Twins? 155 00:11:55,091 --> 00:12:00,893 Tonio, this is our Signor Lovejoy, so esteemed by my sister and grandfather. 156 00:12:00,964 --> 00:12:03,956 Lovejoy, that man there is Tonio. 157 00:12:04,033 --> 00:12:07,867 Even at first glance I can tell he doesn't like you. 158 00:12:07,937 --> 00:12:10,997 Perhaps it's not first glance, perhaps he's seen me before. 159 00:12:11,074 --> 00:12:12,564 Perhaps. 160 00:12:13,209 --> 00:12:15,268 Tonio, get Lovejoy a drink. 161 00:12:16,379 --> 00:12:17,971 Cigarette? 162 00:12:19,482 --> 00:12:23,111 How can you smoke amongst all these magnificent oils? 163 00:12:23,620 --> 00:12:26,248 Even the rich should know better than that. 164 00:12:29,859 --> 00:12:32,555 Are you as expert as Grandfather said, Lovejoy? 165 00:12:32,629 --> 00:12:36,258 - He's a dealer, not a faker. - (Lovejoy) How do you know that? 166 00:12:36,332 --> 00:12:39,392 I was in England when Mr. Pinder saw you. 167 00:12:39,469 --> 00:12:41,528 Really? 168 00:12:41,604 --> 00:12:44,698 Were you there a few days before, perhaps, at an auction? 169 00:12:44,774 --> 00:12:48,301 We were buying Venetian art, we were at many auctions. 170 00:12:50,046 --> 00:12:52,674 I hope the champagne's to your satisfaction. 171 00:12:52,749 --> 00:12:55,343 The glass is. 172 00:12:55,418 --> 00:12:57,409 Any chance of me keeping this? 173 00:12:57,487 --> 00:12:59,421 Oh, you know, souvenir of my visit. 174 00:12:59,489 --> 00:13:03,391 If you work for us, Lovejoy, you can buy your own souvenirs. 175 00:13:03,460 --> 00:13:06,224 - Well, count me in. - Are you a dealer? 176 00:13:06,296 --> 00:13:09,561 Yeah. I've done a few forgeries in my time. 177 00:13:10,733 --> 00:13:12,360 I'm good. 178 00:13:13,002 --> 00:13:16,028 I'm just tired of wasting my talents for pennies. 179 00:13:17,373 --> 00:13:21,742 I need to be... upwardly mobile. 180 00:13:21,811 --> 00:13:24,211 I want the jackpot. 181 00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:29,217 I want to... How is it you Americans say? Cash in all my dance tickets. 182 00:13:29,285 --> 00:13:32,914 Not at Vassar, we didn't. What's this? 183 00:13:32,989 --> 00:13:34,581 Well, you know. 184 00:13:34,657 --> 00:13:37,785 Well, if you and sis were as much into Venetian art as your grandad is. 185 00:13:37,861 --> 00:13:39,920 Yeah, with Grandad we had no choice. 186 00:13:39,996 --> 00:13:42,396 What about Mum? Mrs. Norman. 187 00:13:42,465 --> 00:13:44,399 She in the family business? 188 00:13:45,268 --> 00:13:48,669 (Sighs) Mother's a ditz. Something happened to mother once. 189 00:13:48,738 --> 00:13:50,672 I think it was the '60s. 190 00:13:50,740 --> 00:13:54,335 Anyway, now mummy lives near Santa Barbara where she grows her own pot, 191 00:13:54,410 --> 00:13:59,040 saves the whales and fights for the rights of migrant grape pickers. 192 00:13:59,115 --> 00:14:00,980 This is an R.V.H. 193 00:14:01,050 --> 00:14:02,677 Lovejoy. 194 00:14:04,888 --> 00:14:08,153 - Ricci, by Lovejoy. - I don't think so. 195 00:14:08,224 --> 00:14:11,716 - May I? - Honey, art's not your thing. 196 00:14:12,595 --> 00:14:14,358 What is, hairdressing? 197 00:14:14,430 --> 00:14:18,890 Lovejoy, would you shut up? Now you say you faked this? 198 00:14:18,968 --> 00:14:20,230 Yep. 199 00:14:21,304 --> 00:14:23,602 - Dov'è Luciano? - Sull'isola. 200 00:14:29,445 --> 00:14:31,504 Oh, thank you, but I don't smoke. 201 00:14:31,581 --> 00:14:34,072 - Burn it. - What? 202 00:14:34,150 --> 00:14:36,175 - Burn the sketch. - What? 203 00:14:36,252 --> 00:14:37,844 Well, it's a fake, right? So burn... 204 00:14:37,921 --> 00:14:41,084 It's a bloody brilliant fake, lady. I could make a hell of a deal on this. 205 00:14:41,157 --> 00:14:44,024 You won't need deals if we employ you, Lovejoy. 206 00:14:46,062 --> 00:14:48,587 - Burn it. - That's a waste. 207 00:14:50,333 --> 00:14:55,361 Antiques really are quite special to you, aren't they, Lovejoy? 208 00:14:55,438 --> 00:14:58,965 Maybe more important than anything else. 209 00:14:59,042 --> 00:15:03,376 So if it's real, you won't destroy it because you can't. 210 00:15:04,447 --> 00:15:06,415 But if it's a fake... 211 00:15:28,438 --> 00:15:29,905 Sorry about your carpet. 212 00:15:43,786 --> 00:15:45,583 Forgive me, Ricci. 213 00:16:10,647 --> 00:16:13,445 (Lovejoy) Ah, why do you have to tie the hands as well? What if we sink? 214 00:16:13,516 --> 00:16:17,350 Ground, Signor. You cannot swim either. 215 00:16:17,420 --> 00:16:20,446 We Venetians have this superstition. 216 00:16:20,523 --> 00:16:23,287 Learn to swim and the lagoon thinks you do not trust her. 217 00:16:23,359 --> 00:16:25,384 - She does? - Takes revenge. 218 00:16:25,461 --> 00:16:28,726 - Especially at the time of acqua alta. - What's that? 219 00:16:28,798 --> 00:16:29,890 High water. 220 00:16:39,742 --> 00:16:42,711 Ehi, Lucia, un altro falsificatore. 221 00:16:43,713 --> 00:16:46,739 Va bene. Non rimanere qui, lo sistemo io. 222 00:16:49,252 --> 00:16:51,550 (Scots accent) They tell me you're a tasty faker. 223 00:16:51,621 --> 00:16:55,421 Haven't had time to see the word is on you yet, from back home, like. 224 00:16:55,491 --> 00:16:57,982 Luciano? Where the hell did you get a name like that? 225 00:16:58,061 --> 00:17:00,825 About five years back, when I first come here. 226 00:17:00,897 --> 00:17:03,092 Used to be Louis, Louis Tilly. 227 00:17:03,166 --> 00:17:07,125 Before a series of unfortunate altercations with Scotland Yard's Fraud Squad 228 00:17:07,203 --> 00:17:08,670 drove me to sunnier climes. 229 00:17:09,739 --> 00:17:12,503 Called myself Luciano because he was lucky. 230 00:17:12,575 --> 00:17:16,739 So far so have I been, especially since copping this job a couple of years back. 231 00:17:16,813 --> 00:17:18,440 Come on. 232 00:17:19,816 --> 00:17:22,046 Is there, er... (Clears throat) 233 00:17:22,118 --> 00:17:24,245 ...anything else I should know? 234 00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:25,947 Yeah. 235 00:17:28,691 --> 00:17:30,852 I don't want anybody screwing up this caper. 236 00:17:30,927 --> 00:17:32,895 Don't want no one bollocking up my retirement 237 00:17:32,962 --> 00:17:36,363 by being too curious or too greedy or too naughty. 238 00:17:36,432 --> 00:17:40,528 No, no. I tell all the new boys the same. Just keep your nose clean, do your job, 239 00:17:40,603 --> 00:17:43,663 and there'll be more than a drink in it for you at the end of the day. 240 00:17:43,740 --> 00:17:49,303 Lucky, do I look like the kind of fella that would ruin your retirement? 241 00:17:49,378 --> 00:17:51,107 You'd better not. 242 00:17:51,180 --> 00:17:55,082 Lake Como's what I had in mind. Good for my chest. 243 00:17:55,151 --> 00:17:58,416 Lake Como after this... bleeding dungeon. 244 00:17:58,488 --> 00:18:01,889 - Where the hell are we anyway? - Did I not tell you not to ask questions? 245 00:18:01,958 --> 00:18:05,689 - I'm sorry, Lucky. - Have you not heard a word I said? 246 00:18:05,762 --> 00:18:10,062 - A force of habit. - Well, change your habits, if you're gonna stay. 247 00:18:10,133 --> 00:18:13,330 I didn't know cameras were allowed in the Cora Museum. 248 00:18:13,402 --> 00:18:15,802 - They're not. - Then I'm impressed. 249 00:18:17,874 --> 00:18:20,240 With the fake. 250 00:18:20,309 --> 00:18:23,369 - (Shouts) Very good ageing. - He's not deaf, you know. 251 00:18:23,446 --> 00:18:25,038 His squaring is a bit dodgy though. 252 00:18:25,114 --> 00:18:28,743 It's easier for forging but it wouldn't fool a seasoned connoisseur, 253 00:18:28,818 --> 00:18:31,616 especially if he had an X-ray machine handy. 254 00:18:31,687 --> 00:18:33,052 Non toccare. 255 00:18:33,122 --> 00:18:35,522 Yeah, a proper little know-all you are, aren't ya? 256 00:18:49,705 --> 00:18:51,570 - It's you. - Me. 257 00:18:51,641 --> 00:18:53,575 - Good. - I know. 258 00:18:53,643 --> 00:18:55,110 Oh, I know it is, son. 259 00:18:55,178 --> 00:18:56,543 You know what they say. 260 00:18:56,612 --> 00:19:00,207 A great fake must be better than the original. 261 00:19:02,919 --> 00:19:04,910 Come on, we'll get you started. 262 00:19:09,525 --> 00:19:12,016 È buono, eh? 263 00:19:12,094 --> 00:19:13,686 Di mangiare. 264 00:19:24,273 --> 00:19:30,473 (Rumbling) 265 00:19:30,546 --> 00:19:32,537 What's that, uh... What's that noise? 266 00:19:32,615 --> 00:19:34,742 Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom? 267 00:19:34,817 --> 00:19:37,411 - Scusi? - Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. 268 00:19:37,486 --> 00:19:39,784 Oh, forget it. 269 00:19:44,961 --> 00:19:46,451 (Groans) 270 00:19:49,065 --> 00:19:53,331 No grub, no girls, no gossip. And I volunteered. 271 00:21:10,346 --> 00:21:13,782 Tomorrow I go south. To convalesce with my family. 272 00:21:15,284 --> 00:21:17,946 If I get out of this in one piece I might come and join you. 273 00:21:18,020 --> 00:21:19,783 I wish you would. 274 00:21:21,090 --> 00:21:23,490 Why did you get so mixed up in all this? 275 00:21:23,559 --> 00:21:25,720 I don't know. 276 00:21:25,795 --> 00:21:27,763 Everything got blurred. 277 00:21:27,830 --> 00:21:31,630 You see, this man Pinder in England... and then there's this operation in Venice 278 00:21:31,701 --> 00:21:33,896 but I don't know if he knows what going on. 279 00:21:33,970 --> 00:21:36,666 Do you think the people here are cheating him? 280 00:21:36,739 --> 00:21:38,969 Yes. He didn't know I was in Venice, 281 00:21:39,041 --> 00:21:41,669 so he can't be blamed for me being followed or attacked. 282 00:21:41,744 --> 00:21:45,680 And I think Lavinia's flying in planeloads of rich tourists to sell off the merchandise. 283 00:21:45,748 --> 00:21:48,842 I'm sorry but does not Pinder wish to sell them? 284 00:21:48,918 --> 00:21:51,148 No, I really believe that he wants to preserve them. 285 00:21:51,220 --> 00:21:54,018 But Lavinia, I really don't know what her game is. 286 00:21:54,090 --> 00:21:57,389 And I don't know if Caterina knows and I don't know what Tonio is, 287 00:21:57,460 --> 00:22:00,258 if he's a boyfriend, if so, whose boyfriend he is and... 288 00:22:00,329 --> 00:22:02,627 For your sake I don't know if I should be telling you this. 289 00:22:02,698 --> 00:22:05,189 Oh, please. I'm quite safe here. 290 00:22:13,542 --> 00:22:16,204 - You know when we went to Torcello? - Mm-hm. 291 00:22:17,246 --> 00:22:19,510 I wanted you to make love to me that day. 292 00:22:33,596 --> 00:22:35,188 - Cesare? - Sii? 293 00:22:35,264 --> 00:22:37,755 The Lido steamers, which routes do they take? 294 00:22:37,833 --> 00:22:43,271 They go to St Michele, Murano, Burano, Torcello... 295 00:22:43,339 --> 00:22:45,830 - No, that's too large, too inhabited. - For what? 296 00:22:45,908 --> 00:22:47,705 For what I have in mind. 297 00:22:47,777 --> 00:22:51,679 - Uh, to the south they go to... - No, forget the south, that's too far. 298 00:22:51,747 --> 00:22:54,875 That leaves the islands, the Lido runs. 299 00:22:54,950 --> 00:22:57,077 Which ones of these that are uninhabited? 300 00:22:57,153 --> 00:22:59,314 - Here, here... - What about that one? 301 00:22:59,388 --> 00:23:01,720 Nothing, only rats. 302 00:23:01,791 --> 00:23:04,783 Are there warnings of poison? There are many rats here. 303 00:23:04,860 --> 00:23:06,384 Only rats? 304 00:23:10,933 --> 00:23:15,029 Sii, sii, sii. Un attimo, un attimo! Lo sistemo io. 305 00:23:29,452 --> 00:23:30,885 Lost in thought, Lovejoy? 306 00:23:30,953 --> 00:23:34,354 It would speed things up if I could rig one of those hoists up in here. 307 00:23:34,423 --> 00:23:37,984 It could save us days rolling these stones all over the floor. 308 00:23:38,060 --> 00:23:40,722 Yeah, why not? Do it. 309 00:23:40,796 --> 00:23:44,061 - I could put a cross piece against the wall... - Do it, son, do it. 310 00:23:54,677 --> 00:23:57,805 - Fancy a bite, Lucky? - I hate boats. 311 00:24:09,725 --> 00:24:13,991 I live above here. Small, but it suffices. 312 00:24:14,063 --> 00:24:15,553 Until Lake Como. 313 00:24:17,066 --> 00:24:19,432 If no one bollocks up, right. 314 00:24:19,502 --> 00:24:21,527 Why can't you go back to the UK? 315 00:24:21,604 --> 00:24:25,062 Oh, I could risk it. Forged passport, I suppose. 316 00:24:25,141 --> 00:24:26,768 How'd you do that? 317 00:24:29,612 --> 00:24:31,637 Settled in Italy, though. 318 00:24:31,714 --> 00:24:36,344 Like all those footballers. Brady and Wilkins and Hateley. 319 00:24:36,418 --> 00:24:39,216 Marvelous. Hateley, oh! 320 00:24:39,288 --> 00:24:41,984 And we've adjusted to a different way of life. 321 00:24:43,392 --> 00:24:45,292 Lucky? 322 00:24:45,361 --> 00:24:47,261 Must of that stuff's crap. 323 00:24:49,265 --> 00:24:51,233 That forgery factory is a cover, isn't it? 324 00:24:52,168 --> 00:24:53,863 What are you on about, son? 325 00:24:53,936 --> 00:24:58,566 You're an ace, you've got the best manuscript hand I've ever seen, 326 00:24:58,641 --> 00:25:01,872 you must know you're working with a bunch of second-raters. 327 00:25:01,944 --> 00:25:05,710 I mean, you age your canvas before you paint on it, Domenico doesn't. 328 00:25:05,781 --> 00:25:08,045 And he uses acrylics, for Christ's sake. 329 00:25:08,117 --> 00:25:11,280 The wood carvings are done on American pine, which stinks the place out. 330 00:25:11,353 --> 00:25:14,481 What's your game, Lovejoy? What is your game? 331 00:25:14,557 --> 00:25:16,889 You're an expert, why aren't they? 332 00:25:19,495 --> 00:25:22,123 Must admit, not the class they once were. 333 00:25:24,633 --> 00:25:26,396 But don't ask questions, son, 334 00:25:26,468 --> 00:25:28,595 don't be young and foolish. 335 00:25:28,671 --> 00:25:30,536 Money's too powerful. 336 00:25:32,308 --> 00:25:34,970 It's giving us our orders, right? 337 00:25:35,044 --> 00:25:40,311 There'll be a reek of terrible vengeance on those who oppose its wishes. 338 00:25:40,382 --> 00:25:45,581 Is there something in the air in Venice that makes people talk like Shakespeare? 339 00:25:45,654 --> 00:25:47,178 I'll say it plainly. 340 00:25:47,256 --> 00:25:52,284 Go home, sleep, come to work. Go home, sleep, come to work. 341 00:25:52,361 --> 00:25:54,886 That's the way to live. 342 00:25:55,831 --> 00:25:58,891 - To dishonest endeavor. - Not for the next two days. 343 00:25:58,968 --> 00:26:01,732 High water - they won't ship us out in that. 344 00:26:01,804 --> 00:26:04,602 - Why's that? - Acqua alta. 345 00:26:11,981 --> 00:26:13,972 Eric followed Caterina to Heathrow. 346 00:26:15,050 --> 00:26:18,542 Yes, she took an Alitalia, 6:00p.m. 347 00:26:18,621 --> 00:26:21,112 Yes, 6.00p.m., flight to Venice. 348 00:26:22,191 --> 00:26:26,389 Oh, by the way, Eric would like reimbursement of petrol money. 349 00:26:28,397 --> 00:26:31,560 What? I'll tell him you said that. 350 00:26:33,669 --> 00:26:35,261 - Ho preso i fiori, signore. - Bello. 351 00:26:35,337 --> 00:26:37,532 - Ti piacciono? - Bella, signora. 352 00:26:37,606 --> 00:26:40,268 - Signorina Caterina Norman. - Sii. 353 00:26:40,342 --> 00:26:42,708 - Palazzo Malcontento. - Sii. 354 00:26:42,778 --> 00:26:46,737 - Bene. Diecimilli. - Grazie. Bene. 355 00:26:46,815 --> 00:26:48,783 - Grazie. - Grazie. Buongiorno. 356 00:27:04,133 --> 00:27:06,101 Thank you for the flowers, Lovejoy. 357 00:27:06,168 --> 00:27:08,261 I never knew you cared. 358 00:27:08,337 --> 00:27:12,433 I couldn't think of any other way of getting in contact with you, but I'm glad you like them. 359 00:27:12,508 --> 00:27:14,601 - Why all the cloak and dagger? - Well... 360 00:27:14,677 --> 00:27:17,407 - Let's have a drink. - Thank you. 361 00:27:19,782 --> 00:27:22,444 I think Lavinia is pulling one over on Grandad. 362 00:27:22,518 --> 00:27:24,543 Really? 363 00:27:24,620 --> 00:27:27,316 - Oh, tell me what you know. - I'll tell you what I think. 364 00:27:27,389 --> 00:27:29,687 Firstly, you told Lavinia I was going to Venice, 365 00:27:29,758 --> 00:27:32,022 I mean, that's natural, but you didn't tell Pinder. 366 00:27:32,094 --> 00:27:34,358 Oh, no, I didn't wanna alarm him. 367 00:27:34,430 --> 00:27:36,330 Well, I found out he didn't know. 368 00:27:36,398 --> 00:27:39,424 So I knew it wasn't his idea when things started to get nasty around here 369 00:27:39,501 --> 00:27:41,731 including trying to knock me off. 370 00:27:41,804 --> 00:27:43,795 You can't be serious! 371 00:27:43,872 --> 00:27:47,364 I am, Caterina. Well, I am. 372 00:27:48,077 --> 00:27:50,068 Sis and company play hardball. 373 00:27:50,145 --> 00:27:52,272 I think old Pinder's over the top 374 00:27:52,348 --> 00:27:55,579 but I do believe that if he's trying to preserve Venice's treasures 375 00:27:55,651 --> 00:27:59,519 - until the day that he imagines it sinks. - He is. 376 00:27:59,588 --> 00:28:03,285 All the items are photographed or modeled before they're forged 377 00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:05,623 and then the originals are sold somewhere. 378 00:28:05,694 --> 00:28:07,958 Yes, in Tuscany. I'm not telling you where. 379 00:28:08,030 --> 00:28:11,397 But not before they're replaced by the fakes. 380 00:28:11,467 --> 00:28:12,957 I'm listening. 381 00:28:13,035 --> 00:28:16,129 Well, Grandpa's saving Venice and Lavinia's selling it. 382 00:28:16,205 --> 00:28:20,107 That's why she's flying in planeloads of rich buyers for the originals. 383 00:28:20,175 --> 00:28:23,167 They don't reach Tuscany, the fakes end up there 384 00:28:23,245 --> 00:28:25,236 and not very good fakes at that. 385 00:28:25,314 --> 00:28:28,647 - Some of the originals reach Tuscany. - What? 386 00:28:28,717 --> 00:28:32,710 Well, I don't steal them all, I'm not that stupid or that greedy. 387 00:28:32,788 --> 00:28:35,120 Just the ones that are easiest to sell. 388 00:28:35,190 --> 00:28:38,626 - Caterina? - Caterina's at the beauty salon. 389 00:28:38,694 --> 00:28:41,629 It is a shame she's going to miss your beautiful flowers. 390 00:28:41,697 --> 00:28:43,324 Oh, Lavinia. 391 00:28:45,601 --> 00:28:47,694 Oh, I just had to open the card, Lovejoy. 392 00:28:47,770 --> 00:28:52,537 You know how curious sisters are about the other one's admirers. 393 00:28:52,608 --> 00:28:57,238 Oh, and I am a fan, Lovejoy. You have been very clever. 394 00:28:57,312 --> 00:29:00,110 A little too clever, my friend. 395 00:29:01,183 --> 00:29:04,084 It is a shame though. 396 00:29:04,153 --> 00:29:07,589 I was really getting quite fond of you. 397 00:29:07,656 --> 00:29:10,489 I can't bear to watch this, I'm gonna take a shower. 398 00:29:10,559 --> 00:29:11,856 Yeah. 399 00:29:16,698 --> 00:29:18,723 Oh, shit! 400 00:29:34,183 --> 00:29:36,310 Gerry, look what the tide's washed up. 401 00:29:42,257 --> 00:29:44,919 (Coughs) 402 00:29:52,701 --> 00:29:57,536 I don't think the high dive is your strong suit, sport. 403 00:29:57,606 --> 00:29:59,870 Lovejoy, I'm not a shrink but if you'd like to tell us 404 00:29:59,942 --> 00:30:03,673 why you're throwing yourself into the Grand Canal, me and Gerry are all ears. 405 00:30:03,745 --> 00:30:05,474 Things that desperate, sport? 406 00:30:05,547 --> 00:30:08,744 That cute little Cosima give you the old heave-ho, did she? 407 00:30:08,817 --> 00:30:12,617 If I hadn't jumped I'd have ended up in there anyway with concrete boots on. 408 00:30:12,688 --> 00:30:16,249 Jesus! Sport, if you're in some sort of trouble, count me in. 409 00:30:16,325 --> 00:30:18,623 Gerry loves a spot of gratuitous violence. 410 00:30:18,694 --> 00:30:22,824 We'll leave Keith in Como. Don't want to offend his artistic temperament. 411 00:30:22,898 --> 00:30:24,456 Don't be a boring bitch, Gerry. 412 00:30:24,533 --> 00:30:27,525 - Oh, no, you're not gay. - Isn't everyone these days? 413 00:30:27,603 --> 00:30:29,662 You're not upset, are you, Lovejoy? 414 00:30:29,738 --> 00:30:32,332 There's no such thing as an Australian homosexual. 415 00:30:32,407 --> 00:30:35,672 It's a natural reaction against all that surfboarding, 416 00:30:35,744 --> 00:30:38,440 beer-swilling, sheep-shearing macho bullshit. 417 00:30:42,718 --> 00:30:44,686 Can I borrow some clothes? 418 00:30:44,753 --> 00:30:47,586 I don't wanna risk going back to the hotel. 419 00:30:48,223 --> 00:30:51,681 Don't you think coming back to our place is a risk? 420 00:31:07,676 --> 00:31:09,473 - Lucky? - (Knock on door) 421 00:31:14,182 --> 00:31:18,084 - (Knock on door) - (Lovejoy) Lucky? 422 00:31:20,923 --> 00:31:23,414 Are you going to let me in? 423 00:31:23,492 --> 00:31:26,461 - What's happened? - Trouble. 424 00:31:26,528 --> 00:31:29,497 - What? - I'm going after the people behind the scam. 425 00:31:30,866 --> 00:31:35,098 - Are you a cop or something? - No, self interest, vengeful spite. 426 00:31:35,170 --> 00:31:38,469 - Got a drink? - Yeah, beer or wine? 427 00:31:38,540 --> 00:31:40,337 Beer, please. 428 00:31:45,213 --> 00:31:47,374 Why are you telling me all this? 429 00:31:47,449 --> 00:31:49,349 To warn you. I'm gonna bust that place open, 430 00:31:49,418 --> 00:31:52,683 that hoist you let me put up it's all part of a plan to pull that wall right out. 431 00:31:52,754 --> 00:31:54,585 But that'll flood the place. 432 00:31:54,656 --> 00:31:58,183 Exactly - and screw up Lavinia and Tonio and give us something to retire on. 433 00:31:58,260 --> 00:32:01,787 - Give us? Us? - Well, naturally, Lucky. 434 00:32:01,863 --> 00:32:05,629 I need your help. And to pick out a few choice pieces, 435 00:32:05,701 --> 00:32:07,328 I'd hate to ruin your retirement. 436 00:32:07,402 --> 00:32:10,530 Well, there's one thing, it won't be in Italy now, will it? 437 00:32:10,606 --> 00:32:12,699 Oh, you could work anywhere. 438 00:32:12,774 --> 00:32:16,107 I think you quite fancy going back to the old country. 439 00:32:17,679 --> 00:32:18,941 No. 440 00:32:19,014 --> 00:32:23,417 Listen, all I've got there is a hatchet-faced sister-in-law up in Maryhill. 441 00:32:24,620 --> 00:32:26,144 Come off it. 442 00:32:26,221 --> 00:32:28,416 Dundee marmalade, Sunday Post 443 00:32:28,490 --> 00:32:31,584 and that bottle of Glenmorangie you just slipped in the cupboard when I came in. 444 00:32:31,660 --> 00:32:34,993 - Bet you've got a haggis in the fridge. - All right, all right. 445 00:32:35,063 --> 00:32:37,531 But that doesn't mean I want to work there, does it? 446 00:32:37,599 --> 00:32:40,796 Thatcher, unemployment, strikes. 447 00:32:40,869 --> 00:32:43,360 Partick Thistle never making the grade. 448 00:32:46,642 --> 00:32:48,303 How would we do it? 449 00:32:50,178 --> 00:32:52,703 You've got no choice. 450 00:32:53,915 --> 00:32:55,815 You'll be out of a job tomorrow. 451 00:32:55,884 --> 00:32:58,045 - Not one of us knows where they take... - I do. 452 00:32:58,120 --> 00:33:01,055 - We're blindfolded until we get... - I know! 453 00:33:02,424 --> 00:33:04,221 - You would need a boat. - Got one. 454 00:33:05,761 --> 00:33:08,559 The minute I clapped eyes on you I knew you were trouble. 455 00:33:34,289 --> 00:33:36,849 Hang on to your stomach, Lucky, we're nearly there. 456 00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:15,157 Come on, Lucky, come on. 457 00:34:15,230 --> 00:34:18,358 How did you work out the island? 458 00:34:18,433 --> 00:34:22,563 I recognized the sound of the Lido steamers. 459 00:34:22,637 --> 00:34:27,802 I timed their tos and fros and checked that against the routes and worked it out from there. 460 00:34:27,876 --> 00:34:31,539 Is, um... this place secured, anyway? 461 00:34:31,613 --> 00:34:33,843 Padlocks, easy. 462 00:34:33,915 --> 00:34:36,076 It's a doddle, then, Louis. 463 00:34:36,151 --> 00:34:40,281 I just wish you'd stop saying that, son. I've screwed up my whole life, you know. 464 00:34:42,591 --> 00:34:44,388 What's that? 465 00:34:49,564 --> 00:34:51,031 A lot of rats. 466 00:34:51,099 --> 00:34:54,728 Well, that wasn't the wind in the bleedin' undergrowth. 467 00:34:55,771 --> 00:34:57,432 (Squeaking) 468 00:35:01,977 --> 00:35:04,104 I hate rats. 469 00:35:04,179 --> 00:35:05,908 Come on, Lovejoy. 470 00:35:05,981 --> 00:35:09,781 In 1974, they found one four feet long. 471 00:35:13,989 --> 00:35:20,224 (Lucky) Considering what's in here you'd think they'd make it a bit more difficult to get in. 472 00:35:20,295 --> 00:35:24,288 (Lovejoy) Four feet long? (Lucky) Yeah. And that was in 1974. 473 00:35:32,641 --> 00:35:34,939 Come on, Lovejoy, get the light on. 474 00:35:36,178 --> 00:35:37,805 That's one. 475 00:35:46,888 --> 00:35:48,753 You know what this really is, don't you? 476 00:35:48,824 --> 00:35:51,952 Yeah. Bloody great cork. 477 00:35:52,027 --> 00:35:55,519 Anything pulling it from the outside will bring a chunk of wall down. 478 00:35:55,597 --> 00:35:57,656 And I'm down here. 479 00:35:57,732 --> 00:35:59,029 We will be. 480 00:36:14,182 --> 00:36:16,241 Lucky, go and see where I come out. 481 00:36:21,189 --> 00:36:22,315 Oh, go on! 482 00:36:24,326 --> 00:36:27,295 Oh, shut your face, you're making me nervous. 483 00:36:35,136 --> 00:36:36,763 (Squeaking) 484 00:36:45,847 --> 00:36:47,872 Lovejoy? 485 00:37:10,672 --> 00:37:12,640 (Banging) 486 00:37:20,081 --> 00:37:21,708 Lucky? 487 00:37:21,783 --> 00:37:23,580 Lucky! 488 00:37:23,652 --> 00:37:24,949 Lucky? 489 00:37:26,721 --> 00:37:28,450 Can you hear me? 490 00:37:28,523 --> 00:37:33,222 - Lovejoy? - Lucky? 491 00:37:33,295 --> 00:37:36,458 Lovejoy? Lovejoy? 492 00:37:42,938 --> 00:37:45,600 - Lucky? - Lovejoy? 493 00:37:49,044 --> 00:37:50,705 Go. 494 00:37:53,415 --> 00:37:55,406 Pull! 495 00:37:55,483 --> 00:37:56,609 That's it! 496 00:38:00,989 --> 00:38:02,957 Easy, easy, go on. 497 00:38:03,024 --> 00:38:07,984 Go, hold it. That's it. 498 00:38:15,603 --> 00:38:17,833 Did you find it, Lucky? 499 00:38:17,906 --> 00:38:20,101 I know these don't compare to your manuscripts 500 00:38:20,175 --> 00:38:23,576 but they'll fool the average punter. 501 00:38:23,645 --> 00:38:29,743 Oh, good evening. I was just, uh... putting in a little overtime, Lavinia. 502 00:38:29,818 --> 00:38:34,050 - It's Caterina. - I'm sorry you didn't get my flowers. 503 00:38:34,122 --> 00:38:39,287 In England I warned you that your situation would be vulnerable if you turned against us. 504 00:38:39,361 --> 00:38:42,091 You mean it's not your sis that's ripping off Grandad? 505 00:38:42,163 --> 00:38:44,791 No, it's much more complicated than that. 506 00:38:44,866 --> 00:38:49,428 Lavinia's stealing the originals and sending some of the fakes to Tuscany, 507 00:38:49,504 --> 00:38:51,768 only they don't all reach Tuscany 508 00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:53,899 because Tonio and I have an arrangement. 509 00:38:53,975 --> 00:38:55,602 - Oh, you sell the fakes. - Yes. 510 00:38:55,677 --> 00:38:59,135 What a nice family! Are you related to the Borgias? 511 00:39:02,283 --> 00:39:03,614 What about the Savoldo? 512 00:39:03,685 --> 00:39:05,312 Tell me about Malleson. 513 00:39:05,387 --> 00:39:08,288 It was one of the fakes that we sold in England. 514 00:39:08,356 --> 00:39:10,051 Unfortunately it turned up at an auction, 515 00:39:10,125 --> 00:39:13,720 and being Venetian, attracted my grandfather's attention. 516 00:39:13,795 --> 00:39:16,286 - He wouldn't have killed for it, though. - Accidental. 517 00:39:16,364 --> 00:39:19,424 Oh, yes, you didn't mean to hit him that hard, did you? 518 00:39:19,501 --> 00:39:21,969 I didn't mean to hit him that hard. 519 00:39:23,405 --> 00:39:24,702 Tonio. 520 00:39:25,106 --> 00:39:28,633 Drop that gun or I'll blow your bleedin' balls all over the wall. 521 00:39:37,385 --> 00:39:38,750 What the? 522 00:39:38,820 --> 00:39:40,117 That's not a gun! 523 00:39:48,596 --> 00:39:51,292 Ooh! Oh! 524 00:39:59,874 --> 00:40:01,842 (Gunshot) 525 00:40:08,116 --> 00:40:09,777 Take it easy, Lucky. 526 00:40:09,851 --> 00:40:11,580 (Banging) 527 00:40:11,653 --> 00:40:13,280 Lucky? 528 00:40:18,726 --> 00:40:20,023 Hold it, son. 529 00:40:20,095 --> 00:40:22,063 - The chain's attached to the back. - So? 530 00:40:22,130 --> 00:40:23,722 Loosen it off. 531 00:40:23,798 --> 00:40:26,392 They killed a friend of mine, they would have killed us too. 532 00:40:26,468 --> 00:40:27,435 But you can't. 533 00:40:29,037 --> 00:40:31,801 By the time we get out of this place, they're gonna be gone. 534 00:40:31,873 --> 00:40:34,068 We'll find them. And I want Lovejoy. 535 00:40:34,142 --> 00:40:36,440 Oh, no, no, Lovejoy is mine. 536 00:40:48,189 --> 00:40:50,316 - You let them out, didn't you? - No. 537 00:40:50,391 --> 00:40:53,883 - Listen, you did, didn't you? - Yeah. 538 00:40:56,664 --> 00:40:57,688 (Crashing) 539 00:40:57,765 --> 00:40:59,699 Untie that boat! 540 00:41:05,173 --> 00:41:07,198 Oh, my God. 541 00:41:08,209 --> 00:41:10,439 Clever little so-and-so, aren't you? 542 00:41:10,512 --> 00:41:13,345 That stuff in them tubes must be worth a bob or two. 543 00:41:13,414 --> 00:41:16,815 I owe you one, Lucky. I've caused you enough trouble already. 544 00:41:16,885 --> 00:41:19,080 No, you've probably done me a favor. 545 00:41:19,154 --> 00:41:20,678 (Lovejoy) How's that? 546 00:41:20,755 --> 00:41:23,349 (Lucky) Well, with all that double dealing going on, 547 00:41:23,424 --> 00:41:27,053 the bubble was bound to burst, and sooner rather than later. 548 00:41:27,128 --> 00:41:29,096 I would have been done, wouldn't I? 549 00:41:29,164 --> 00:41:31,257 (Lovejoy) Oh, you're well out of it. 550 00:41:39,474 --> 00:41:41,442 (Coughing) 551 00:41:50,185 --> 00:41:52,710 What are you two doing here? 552 00:41:52,787 --> 00:41:56,052 Doesn't it make you wonder that we keep popping up? 553 00:41:57,125 --> 00:41:59,616 We've been on your tail since day one, sport. 554 00:41:59,694 --> 00:42:02,458 - On my tail? - We're sort of police. 555 00:42:02,530 --> 00:42:04,794 Art Squad. 556 00:42:04,866 --> 00:42:06,663 Am I under arrest? 557 00:42:06,734 --> 00:42:09,498 You might have to hang around for a while. 558 00:42:09,571 --> 00:42:11,801 We're after bigger fish. 559 00:42:11,873 --> 00:42:13,534 Local clink's not bad, though. 560 00:42:13,608 --> 00:42:15,940 - We'll see you're OK, Lovejoy. - The grub's good. 561 00:42:16,010 --> 00:42:17,136 - Lots of pasta. - Yeah. 562 00:42:17,212 --> 00:42:20,841 Oh, if you get a choice of cells, don't take the basement. 563 00:42:20,915 --> 00:42:22,576 Tendency to damp. 564 00:42:57,986 --> 00:43:01,513 So those Art Squad guys, they've been on the case for ages. 565 00:43:01,589 --> 00:43:02,886 Bunch of bloody amateurs. 566 00:43:02,957 --> 00:43:05,517 And according to Lovejoy, fakes began to appear all over... 567 00:43:05,593 --> 00:43:08,426 What professional art thief would have been that careless? 568 00:43:08,496 --> 00:43:11,795 - I agree, but what I don't understand... - (Cheers) 569 00:43:11,866 --> 00:43:14,391 Or what profoundly distresses me 570 00:43:14,469 --> 00:43:19,065 is why he isn't languishing in some wretched Italian prison right now. 571 00:43:19,140 --> 00:43:21,074 Well, they had nothing on me. 572 00:43:21,142 --> 00:43:22,609 Oh, here's your change, Jane. 573 00:43:22,677 --> 00:43:26,545 Well, apart from stealing a boat, and I've got away with that before, haven't I? 574 00:43:26,614 --> 00:43:28,980 - I helped them. - How'd you do that? 575 00:43:29,050 --> 00:43:31,644 Well, they took me to this villa in Tuscany. 576 00:43:31,719 --> 00:43:33,380 That's where you sent this postcard from. 577 00:43:33,454 --> 00:43:36,651 Anyway, this is where all the stuff was stashed and I separated the crap from the genuine. 578 00:43:36,724 --> 00:43:38,123 - You might have put a stamp on it. - Mm? 579 00:43:38,192 --> 00:43:42,151 As someone with a vested interest in the fiscal fortune of Lovejoy Antiques, 580 00:43:42,230 --> 00:43:45,961 am I to understand we've sod all to show for this jaunt? 581 00:43:46,034 --> 00:43:48,002 Oh, I wasn't in it for the money. 582 00:43:48,069 --> 00:43:50,333 I wanted to see criminals brought to justice. 583 00:43:50,405 --> 00:43:54,432 Oh, so you're still broke and fairly desperate then, are you? 584 00:43:58,012 --> 00:44:02,779 (Jane) It's true what Charlie said, isn't it? You are as broke as ever? 585 00:44:02,850 --> 00:44:04,750 Yep. 586 00:44:04,819 --> 00:44:06,787 You've got to stop chasing all over the place, 587 00:44:06,854 --> 00:44:10,790 getting into all sorts of trouble and... scaring your friends. 588 00:44:14,662 --> 00:44:18,621 - You were scared? - I was worried, we all were. 589 00:44:20,668 --> 00:44:22,295 You missed me. 590 00:44:22,370 --> 00:44:26,807 Lovejoy, I missed you more than I'm prepared to say. 591 00:44:26,874 --> 00:44:28,705 It's very disconcerting. 592 00:44:28,776 --> 00:44:30,835 I missed you, I always do. 593 00:44:30,912 --> 00:44:34,006 Well you had Nancy and Cosima to amuse you. 594 00:44:34,082 --> 00:44:37,142 Oh, and Lavinia and Caterina and Lord knows who else. 595 00:44:37,218 --> 00:44:39,345 Lady Felsham, I do believe you're jealous. 596 00:44:39,420 --> 00:44:41,684 - No, I am not! - Yes, you are. 597 00:44:41,756 --> 00:44:43,314 I know, it's pathetic. 598 00:44:52,133 --> 00:44:56,433 You are the one person in the world I could never lie to, about women or anything else. 599 00:44:57,038 --> 00:45:02,032 So if you're wondering if I slept with any of those women, the answer is a categorical no. 600 00:45:11,152 --> 00:45:14,781 - Hello, son. - Oh, Lucky. 601 00:45:14,856 --> 00:45:17,017 (Laughs) 602 00:45:19,160 --> 00:45:22,323 Hey, quaint little neck of the woods you live in here. 603 00:45:22,397 --> 00:45:24,797 What the hell are you doing here anyway? 604 00:45:24,866 --> 00:45:28,324 - Listen, do you want a cup of tea? - Mm. 605 00:45:28,403 --> 00:45:32,237 See, after you dropped me off that night, I did everything you taught me - 606 00:45:32,306 --> 00:45:37,005 I went to ground, fixed myself a new passport after a while and came home. 607 00:45:39,213 --> 00:45:41,181 - I've got something for you. - Yeah? 608 00:45:47,388 --> 00:45:51,188 - Oh, Lucky. - No, no, no, you need a stake. 609 00:45:52,059 --> 00:45:55,256 Jeez, it's freezing in here. So's the whole of England. 610 00:45:55,329 --> 00:45:57,229 - No, you can't. - Please. 611 00:45:57,298 --> 00:46:01,098 - You've got the other one. - Oh, yes. 612 00:46:01,169 --> 00:46:04,297 - My retirement, isn't it? - Lake Como. 613 00:46:04,372 --> 00:46:06,636 No, Maryhill. 614 00:46:06,707 --> 00:46:08,004 OK, Lovejoy. 615 00:46:10,745 --> 00:46:13,043 Which one was it? 616 00:46:13,093 --> 00:46:17,643 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 49076

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