Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:13,270
One of your dogs was being a
degen the other day...
2
00:00:13,300 --> 00:00:15,170
What's up, what's up...
3
00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:17,640
Don't let the dog
lick your boot.
4
00:00:17,670 --> 00:00:19,810
Off you go. Way y'go.
Way y'go. Way y'go.
5
00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:26,180
-What's the problem?
-Your boots are covered in piss.
6
00:00:26,210 --> 00:00:28,580
Are you accusing me of washing
my boots in the toilet again?
7
00:00:28,620 --> 00:00:30,350
All dudes' shoes are
covered in piss.
8
00:00:30,380 --> 00:00:31,890
From standin' in front of the
toilet or a urinal.
9
00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:36,160
Your stream hits the water or
the porcelain and it goes fuckin' everywhere.
10
00:00:36,190 --> 00:00:37,690
-Prove it.
-No, he's right.
11
00:00:37,730 --> 00:00:40,430
Have you ever taken a look at
the area half a foot in fronts of a urinal?
12
00:00:40,460 --> 00:00:42,160
It's like a miniature swamps.
13
00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:43,800
Ants could ride
sea-doos through it.
14
00:00:43,830 --> 00:00:45,130
Ants can't ride
no sea-doos.
15
00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:47,030
Of course ants can't ride
no sea-doos!
16
00:00:47,070 --> 00:00:48,870
Just don't let the dog
lick your boots.
17
00:00:48,900 --> 00:00:53,040
I mean not to be an expert on
the subject, 'cause of course, everybody's a fuckin' expert.
18
00:00:53,070 --> 00:00:55,180
Everybody's a fuckin' expert.
Must be nice.
19
00:00:55,210 --> 00:00:57,440
You know, when I was coming
up we'd be lucky to even have a dog.
20
00:00:57,480 --> 00:00:59,180
Now everyone's a fuckin' expert.
Must be nice.
21
00:00:59,210 --> 00:01:03,280
You guys notice that whenever
there's a problem everybody turns into a dog expert?
22
00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:05,090
We oughtta leave
this world behind.
23
00:01:09,090 --> 00:01:10,160
Maybe they could.
24
00:01:12,230 --> 00:01:13,960
-Maybe who could?
-Ants.
25
00:01:13,990 --> 00:01:15,860
-Could what?
-Ride sea-doos.
26
00:01:18,670 --> 00:01:19,800
Good buddy?
27
00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:22,240
See, there's a lot of variables
at play here, obviously.
28
00:01:22,270 --> 00:01:25,540
But if you ask me if I've heard
crazier things than ants riding sea-doos...
29
00:01:26,510 --> 00:01:27,110
I'd say sure.
30
00:01:27,140 --> 00:01:28,040
You'd need a scientist.
31
00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:29,540
You'd need a team
of scientists, I think.
32
00:01:29,580 --> 00:01:33,250
Well, ants are smart
enough to walk single file and protect their queen.
33
00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:35,820
So, you know, they're just a
stone's throw away from humans intelligence-wise.
34
00:01:35,850 --> 00:01:37,920
They're a hop, skip and a jump,
if you really think about it.
35
00:01:37,950 --> 00:01:39,750
You get a scientist to make
a sea-doo for an ant?
36
00:01:39,790 --> 00:01:43,260
Well, I think a team of
scientists, a good one, for sure could.
37
00:01:43,290 --> 00:01:46,060
A scientist making
sea-doos for ants would be a tireless job.
38
00:01:46,090 --> 00:01:47,290
Thankless, likely, too.
39
00:01:47,330 --> 00:01:50,000
Well, you operates the gas
with your thumb on the sea-doo so,
40
00:01:50,030 --> 00:01:52,770
ants don't got thumbs.
That right there is your first obstacles.
41
00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:56,240
No, you'd have to get
scientists to make the gas a push button
42
00:01:56,270 --> 00:01:57,670
so the ant could just
put his foot on it.
43
00:01:57,700 --> 00:02:00,210
It's like if a team of
scientists was building a sea-doo for an ant,
44
00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:04,110
they could likely just as easily
build the ant a bionic thumb to operate the gas with.
45
00:02:04,140 --> 00:02:05,410
So, there's options there.
46
00:02:05,450 --> 00:02:09,050
Yeah. Ant would need a license
to operate a personal watercraft.
47
00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:12,220
That's not a big deal.
You can get that over the weekend.
48
00:02:12,250 --> 00:02:13,420
But the scientists would
have to build them a PFD
49
00:02:13,450 --> 00:02:14,860
because they wouldn't let them
take the course without it.
50
00:02:14,890 --> 00:02:18,060
Ants would have no problem
stabilizing themselves out on the sea-doo
51
00:02:18,090 --> 00:02:20,190
on accounts that they got more
arms and legs than we do.
52
00:02:20,230 --> 00:02:22,630
They've got a leg up on us
there, if you wants to be clever about it.
53
00:02:22,660 --> 00:02:25,200
If I'm an ant I'm operating the
sea-doo with my antennas.
54
00:02:25,230 --> 00:02:28,570
That way I've got all those arms
and legs to stabilize myself on the machine,
55
00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:31,410
which you'd need like,
if it's a wavy day on the water.
56
00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:33,610
It'd still take a lot of
concentration from an ant.
57
00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:36,580
Like Dan's gonna fall off two
or three times when he gets going.
58
00:02:36,610 --> 00:02:38,010
So it's just trial and error.
59
00:02:38,250 --> 00:02:39,580
I don't know.
60
00:02:40,780 --> 00:02:41,680
You don't know what?
61
00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:44,320
Well, think about
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.
62
00:02:44,350 --> 00:02:48,290
Think about how helpful and
resilient the ant was the entire journey.
63
00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:50,290
Well, know what, I'm just gonna
come right out and say it,
64
00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:52,090
the kids might never have got
un-shrunk if it weren't for the ant.
65
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:55,330
That's all well and good,
but I'm actually quite surprised you guys would suggest that the
66
00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:59,600
ants would just up and abandon
his post protecting the queen to go ride on sea-doos.
67
00:02:59,630 --> 00:03:01,270
Well, you don't know that
ant, Dan.
68
00:03:01,300 --> 00:03:02,200
You know nothing about
the ant, Dan.
69
00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:04,400
That's rather presumptuous
of youse.
70
00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:06,440
You're an ant comin' up in a
tough neighbourhood.
71
00:03:06,470 --> 00:03:08,010
Never caught a break
in your life.
72
00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:11,980
All of a sudden there's a team
of scientists outside your door with a sea-doo.
73
00:03:12,010 --> 00:03:14,310
Dan, look me in the eye
right now and tell me you don't ride it.
74
00:03:14,350 --> 00:03:15,980
The ant's buddies would be
thrilled to help him out.
75
00:03:16,020 --> 00:03:17,990
They'd happily cover his shift
protecting the queen.
76
00:03:18,020 --> 00:03:20,590
An opportunity like that?
They'd be linin' up around the anthill.
77
00:03:20,620 --> 00:03:23,120
How many more opportunities
like that you think the ant's going to get?
78
00:03:23,790 --> 00:03:25,390
Not many.
79
00:03:25,430 --> 00:03:26,460
That's the first ant in the
colony to ride a sea-doo. That's his legacy.
80
00:03:26,490 --> 00:03:29,360
They'd be talking about that
ant inter-colonial.
81
00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:31,000
Fire ants wouldn't
fuck with him.
82
00:03:31,030 --> 00:03:32,170
He rides sea-doos.
83
00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:34,270
-What's the alternative?
-Yeah, what's the alternative?
84
00:03:34,300 --> 00:03:35,740
Work on an ant farm?
85
00:03:35,770 --> 00:03:38,310
That ant's got a life on the
outside, he's got to live it God dammit.
86
00:03:38,340 --> 00:03:39,310
His hours might have got cut.
87
00:03:39,340 --> 00:03:41,440
He might have mouths to feed.
You don't know.
88
00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:43,710
His wife's thinking about
leaving, taking the kids too.
89
00:03:43,740 --> 00:03:45,350
I was out of line.
90
00:03:45,380 --> 00:03:47,350
Well, good people make
mistakes, Dan.
91
00:03:47,380 --> 00:03:49,080
Yeah, it's all right. Just...
just like,
92
00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:52,520
I don't know, like, down the
road, I think, if you hear somebody talkin' about somebody
93
00:03:52,550 --> 00:03:54,790
that they don't really know,
you'll swiftly correct them.
94
00:03:54,820 --> 00:03:57,960
I think it's important that they
just learn something here.
95
00:03:57,990 --> 00:04:00,430
Not to be an expert,
'cause everybody's a fuckin' expert.
96
00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:02,530
Must be nice.
97
00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:22,550
Can you get me some
sour candies?
98
00:04:25,450 --> 00:04:26,790
Sure, Katy-Kat.
99
00:04:31,930 --> 00:04:33,860
You got him well trained,
don't ya?
100
00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:43,700
Wayne, how'r ya now. Not s'bad.
Good 'n you? Now... now hold on, Wayne, Wayne.
101
00:04:43,740 --> 00:04:45,740
Wayne, we aint' got time for the
pleasantries, all right?
102
00:04:45,770 --> 00:04:48,840
Youse guys heard what the hockey
coach is up to at the golf course?
103
00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:50,140
Fuck golf.
104
00:04:50,180 --> 00:04:51,950
Fuckin' ankle sock wearin'
sallies, that's all I know.
105
00:04:51,980 --> 00:04:53,310
That fuckin' twat
106
00:04:53,350 --> 00:04:56,220
says there's too much shits from
Canada Gooses on the golf course.
107
00:04:56,250 --> 00:04:58,350
There's too much shit from
Canada Gooses everywhere.
108
00:04:58,390 --> 00:05:00,220
Just keep your dog out of it
and keep walkin'.
109
00:05:00,250 --> 00:05:01,760
Exactly. But get this.
110
00:05:01,790 --> 00:05:04,590
To curb the amount of shits from
Canada Gooses,
111
00:05:04,630 --> 00:05:07,530
that degenerate son-of-a-bitch
has put the wheels in motion
112
00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:09,900
to oil and grease up the eggs!
Hot Jimmy!
113
00:05:09,930 --> 00:05:12,400
What the fuck ya talkin' about
oil and grease up the eggs?
114
00:05:12,430 --> 00:05:13,930
They track down the
Canada Gooses nests,
115
00:05:13,970 --> 00:05:16,370
put oil on Canada Gooses eggs
so they won't hatch.
116
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:17,940
-Oh!
-(ALL) What?!
117
00:05:17,970 --> 00:05:23,040
So mother Canada Gooses sit on
their eggs and wait diligently for them to--
118
00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:24,650
Hatch, but they never hatch.
119
00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:26,950
Canada Gooseslings die
inside the egg.
120
00:05:26,980 --> 00:05:28,120
What?!
121
00:05:28,150 --> 00:05:29,480
What?!
122
00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:30,580
What?!
123
00:05:30,620 --> 00:05:31,690
What?!
124
00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:33,120
I've never been so irate in
my whole fuckin' life!
125
00:05:33,150 --> 00:05:36,290
You fuck with mother nature!
You don't fuck with it, cocksucker.
126
00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:37,790
You don't fuck with motherhood!
127
00:05:37,820 --> 00:05:40,490
There's a special place in
heaven for animal lovers, that's all I know.
128
00:05:40,530 --> 00:05:42,100
Those are fuckin' Canada Gooses.
129
00:05:43,460 --> 00:05:45,300
Those are Canada's fuckin'
gooses.
130
00:05:45,330 --> 00:05:47,400
Canada Gooses are majestics.
131
00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:50,440
Barrel-chested.
The envys of all ornithologys.
132
00:05:50,470 --> 00:05:52,970
They are leaders.
Born and bred leaders.
133
00:05:53,010 --> 00:05:55,080
Canada Gooses are
van-fuckin'-garde.
134
00:05:55,110 --> 00:05:56,140
Avant-fuckin'-garde.
135
00:05:56,180 --> 00:05:57,310
Guardians of the fuckin' galaxy!
136
00:05:57,340 --> 00:05:59,510
You wanna know what? You got a
problem with Canada Gooses,
137
00:05:59,550 --> 00:06:02,150
you got a problem with me,
and I suggest you let that one marinate.
138
00:06:02,180 --> 00:06:05,190
Now coach is an expert on
Canada Gooses. Must be fuckin' nice!
139
00:06:05,220 --> 00:06:07,350
When I was comings up you'd be
lucky to even have Canada Gooses.
140
00:06:07,390 --> 00:06:11,960
Now we got so manys you want to
start killin' their babies. Must be fuckin' nice.
141
00:06:11,990 --> 00:06:13,690
You guys ever notice
142
00:06:13,730 --> 00:06:17,160
that as soon as there's a
problem around here everybody starts killin' Canada Gooses?
143
00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:18,370
We oughtta leave this
world behind.
144
00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:21,600
Canada Gooses mate for life.
They're just like you and me.
145
00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:24,300
Those cocksuckers help each
other fly when they're in the air.
146
00:06:24,340 --> 00:06:25,540
They look out for each other.
147
00:06:25,570 --> 00:06:27,040
Now you wanna kill them for
takin' shits.
148
00:06:27,070 --> 00:06:29,980
You know, I saw two Canada
Gooses mount a swan one time
149
00:06:30,010 --> 00:06:32,480
and you gotta think that swan
told her friends about it.
150
00:06:32,510 --> 00:06:33,910
You're goddamn right she did.
151
00:06:33,950 --> 00:06:37,280
I think we all need to take a
good look in the mirror and ask ourselves,
152
00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:40,290
where we would be without
Canada Gooses.
153
00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:42,290
We cannot allows this to happen.
154
00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:44,490
We will not allow
this to happen.
155
00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:47,460
I'm about ready to put some
anthrax in the fuckin' mail here, that's all I know.
156
00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:49,560
ooh! Settle down, baby.
Settle down.
157
00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:52,470
Hey! Let's hit the golf course!
158
00:06:55,670 --> 00:06:57,400
-Hey. Hey, buddy.
-Oh, hey, buddy.
159
00:06:57,440 --> 00:06:59,910
You, uh, throwin' some weights
around, eh?
160
00:06:59,940 --> 00:07:01,480
Beastin' it up.
161
00:07:01,510 --> 00:07:03,210
Nice. Muscle confusing.
162
00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:04,580
Progressive overloading.
163
00:07:04,610 --> 00:07:05,880
Gettin' yolked.
164
00:07:05,910 --> 00:07:07,080
Gettin' yolked.
165
00:07:07,110 --> 00:07:12,250
Nice. Could use a spot every now
and then, though, you know.
166
00:07:12,290 --> 00:07:14,150
Could use a spot sometimes too.
167
00:07:16,090 --> 00:07:17,290
But I'm... I'm fine, though,
man. Like, I'm good.
168
00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:21,190
Oh, yeah. No, I'm good, dude.
Super good, man. Thanks for...
169
00:07:25,970 --> 00:07:27,070
Sweet...
170
00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:29,570
Who brought the rockets, boys?
171
00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:31,870
Whose billet brothers are
fuckin' rockets, boys?
172
00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:33,570
I'll celebrate your biscuit all
night, bud.
173
00:07:33,610 --> 00:07:35,010
Ever gone bar upski?
174
00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:36,340
Fag.
175
00:07:36,380 --> 00:07:38,510
How'd you know your dad's
safe word when I fist his ass, bud?
176
00:07:38,550 --> 00:07:40,410
We got real dirty with
his dangle, bud.
177
00:07:40,450 --> 00:07:42,550
I fucked your dad with
chapped lips and a runny nose.
178
00:07:42,580 --> 00:07:44,820
Fucked your dad with bad bread
and B.O.
179
00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:47,920
Olympic rules in this
shoot-out boys.
180
00:07:47,950 --> 00:07:51,630
Order of shooters is me, me,
me and then me, again.
181
00:07:51,660 --> 00:07:52,960
I'm fuckin' T.J Oshie.
182
00:07:52,990 --> 00:07:56,230
You've never seen a two-way
centre-man with jam like this, boys.
183
00:07:56,260 --> 00:07:59,630
Let's see some jam, boys.
Let's see you jam it right up there.
184
00:07:59,670 --> 00:08:01,300
You need a pest on your roster?
185
00:08:01,330 --> 00:08:02,540
I'm a shit disturber.
186
00:08:02,570 --> 00:08:04,400
I'll disturb your shit
all night.
187
00:08:08,980 --> 00:08:10,010
Wanna play some Chel?
188
00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:12,680
I should... I should really get
back to Katy, buddy.
189
00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:14,310
Good call.
190
00:08:14,350 --> 00:08:17,280
Man, she makes me do stuff for
her like all the time.
191
00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:22,660
I'll play Chel with you, buddy.
Let's hit that A button. Ay, ay, ay, ay...
192
00:08:22,690 --> 00:08:27,790
If he gets tired I'll be right
there to hit ay, ay, ay, ay, for him.
193
00:08:28,830 --> 00:08:31,360
I'll cover his point... any day.
194
00:08:32,870 --> 00:08:34,230
Must be nice.
195
00:08:38,510 --> 00:08:40,670
Thank you. I am very good.
196
00:08:40,710 --> 00:08:42,680
So, ladies and gentlemen of the
197
00:08:42,710 --> 00:08:47,610
Letterkenny Grey Granite Copper
Crick Whistle Ridge Golf & Country Club,
198
00:08:47,650 --> 00:08:51,120
goose droppings will no longer
be impeding our play on this lovely course.
199
00:08:51,690 --> 00:08:53,320
Thank you. Thank you.
200
00:08:53,350 --> 00:08:55,690
Now let's hit the links!
201
00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:59,630
Has someone around here got a
problem with Canada Gooses takin' Canada deuces?
202
00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:03,030
Must be nice!
203
00:09:03,060 --> 00:09:05,700
When I was comings up we'd be
luck to even have oils for our tractors.
204
00:09:05,730 --> 00:09:09,540
Now you got so much of it you
want to pour it on eggs. Must be fuckin' nice!
205
00:09:09,570 --> 00:09:12,610
Whenever anybody's got a problem
these days it's straight to dumpin' oil on it.
206
00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:13,710
We oughtta leave this
world behind.
207
00:09:13,740 --> 00:09:15,140
Wanna know what? You got a
problem with Canada Gooses,
208
00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:19,050
you got a problem with me and I
suggest you let that one marinate.
209
00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:22,950
Leave the egg painting to the
Easter Bunny, you pile of shit!
210
00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:27,590
Your wardrobe colour scheme
looks like a bi-polar spell!
211
00:09:28,690 --> 00:09:30,320
Get those cocksuckers
off your feet!
212
00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:33,330
-Pardon?
-The ankle socks, you fuckin' sally.
213
00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:35,630
How does your wife let you leave
the house lookin' like that, huh?
214
00:09:35,660 --> 00:09:37,530
My wife died three years ago.
215
00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:40,200
Yeah, well, one look at you and
it's clear she's in a better place now, you fuckin' asshole!
216
00:09:40,230 --> 00:09:44,700
Look! The oiling of goose eggs
was approved by the board, all right?
217
00:09:44,740 --> 00:09:46,470
And a fine board it is.
218
00:09:46,510 --> 00:09:50,580
So your little breaking-glass
display is not going to work.
219
00:09:50,610 --> 00:09:53,650
That's why we have a new by-law
that prohibits glass bottles.
220
00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:56,480
So all of you are going
to get fined.
221
00:09:56,520 --> 00:10:01,760
Fine my balls, you fuckin'
dandy. Fine 'em and suck 'em while you're at it, you chooch!
222
00:10:01,790 --> 00:10:03,460
I will do neither of those
things, good sir.
223
00:10:03,490 --> 00:10:06,590
There's a special place in
heaven for animal lovers, that's what I always say.
224
00:10:06,630 --> 00:10:09,930
Yes. And those animals will now
have a special place in heaven, as well.
225
00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:13,830
Along with my wife, Barbara.
So, let's hit the links!
226
00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:15,870
Fuckin' embarrassing.
227
00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:19,770
I'm ready to drive my car
into a crowd.
228
00:10:19,810 --> 00:10:21,580
Just calm down, baby.
229
00:10:21,610 --> 00:10:24,880
Let's get to work on getting the
Canada Gooses off the golf course.
230
00:10:24,910 --> 00:10:26,780
We have some coyote decoys
in the shed.
231
00:10:26,810 --> 00:10:28,850
Worked for that golf course off
the Maitlands River.
232
00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:30,420
Uh-hm, it'll work here too.
233
00:10:30,450 --> 00:10:33,620
-Pitter-patter.
-We'll get to work on getting ankle socks off the golf course.
234
00:10:33,650 --> 00:10:35,520
-Ain't that right, baby.
-Uh-hm.
235
00:10:36,290 --> 00:10:37,520
Let's do this!
236
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,490
-'Sup boys?
-Nothing.
237
00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:10,960
You?
238
00:11:10,990 --> 00:11:11,990
Nothin'
239
00:11:12,030 --> 00:11:15,660
I'm not doing a whole lot of
anything these days.
240
00:11:15,700 --> 00:11:19,770
Oh. Oh. Be my altar boy, man.
Be my altar man.
241
00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:24,670
The Lord worketh dayeth and
nighteth in his battle to castaway heathenethses.
242
00:11:24,700 --> 00:11:28,170
That's a lot of work for the
Lordeth alone. The Lord could useth some helpeth
243
00:11:28,210 --> 00:11:30,740
in his fight against the
heathensetheseses...
244
00:11:30,780 --> 00:11:33,350
No! The Lordeth have all the
help in the world.
245
00:11:33,380 --> 00:11:37,720
And all they want is your money
anyway. Join us.
246
00:11:38,650 --> 00:11:40,790
Connect. Conjugate.
247
00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:42,790
Coalesce.
248
00:11:42,820 --> 00:11:45,460
-I'm not really religious, boys.
-That'll do.
249
00:11:45,490 --> 00:11:48,030
-Have nothing really against it,
though. -That'll do.
250
00:11:48,060 --> 00:11:49,830
Can't we all just hang out?
251
00:11:49,860 --> 00:11:51,060
(ALL) No!
252
00:11:55,670 --> 00:11:59,310
Coyotes. The most obnoxious
predators of rural Canadas.
253
00:11:59,340 --> 00:12:02,210
The town'll still give you
sixty-five bucks a tail for pickin' 'em off.
254
00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:05,780
To kill coyotes is okay.
Coyotes'll raid your hen house.
255
00:12:05,810 --> 00:12:09,180
Coyotes attack your livestock,
too. You don't see no Canada Gooses steal with nobody,
256
00:12:09,220 --> 00:12:10,620
good or bad.
257
00:12:10,650 --> 00:12:12,320
No. You know what
Canada Gooses do?
258
00:12:12,350 --> 00:12:15,560
Canada Gooses help the people
who what's stolen from. That's what Canada Gooses do.
259
00:12:15,590 --> 00:12:17,660
Tell you what, if you're
accusing Canada Gooses of stealing,
260
00:12:17,690 --> 00:12:20,360
you're accusing me of stealing
and I suggest you let that one marinate.
261
00:12:20,390 --> 00:12:23,060
Let's get real here. Coyote
decoys work on Canada Gooses,
262
00:12:23,100 --> 00:12:26,730
but there's not a coyote on
planet Earth who wants nothin' to do with no Canada Gooses.
263
00:12:26,770 --> 00:12:30,970
Lions is lucky Canada Gooses
don't migrate to Africa. Then they'd be's extinct.
264
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:34,810
The only animal in the animal
kingdom what wants anything to do with Canada Gooses
265
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:35,840
is Canada Mooses.
266
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:37,840
Well, Mike Tyson had
a pretty good run of things.
267
00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:38,650
Do you wanna know why?
268
00:12:38,680 --> 00:12:40,180
No Canada Gooses
in his weight class.
269
00:12:40,210 --> 00:12:42,850
Don't you remember
when that plane had to land on the river in New York
270
00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:44,450
'cause Canada Gooses
flew into the engine?
271
00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:47,420
It's 'cause Canada Gooses
likely had intel there was a pedophile or two
272
00:12:47,450 --> 00:12:49,690
on board and took matters
into their own hands.
273
00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:50,820
As they should!
274
00:12:50,860 --> 00:12:52,060
No innocent
people hurt either.
275
00:12:52,090 --> 00:12:53,890
You think that's a fluke?
You tell me that's a fluke.
276
00:12:53,930 --> 00:12:54,930
Go ahead and try
and tell me that's a fluke.
277
00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:56,030
You try to tell me
that's a fluke right now.
278
00:12:56,060 --> 00:12:59,270
Okay, look!
No Canada Gooses on the golf course
279
00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:02,200
means no eggs to be oiled.
Animal cruelty avoided.
280
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:03,700
Fuckin' eh.
281
00:13:03,740 --> 00:13:05,570
You know, when I was comin' up
you'd be lucky to even have any animals.
282
00:13:05,610 --> 00:13:07,670
Now you got so many animals
you wants to be cruel to them?
283
00:13:07,710 --> 00:13:08,710
Must be fuckin' nice!
284
00:13:08,740 --> 00:13:09,710
Any time anybody's got
a problem these days
285
00:13:09,740 --> 00:13:12,110
it's straight to being
cruel to animals.
286
00:13:12,150 --> 00:13:13,710
We gotta leave
this world behind.
287
00:13:13,750 --> 00:13:16,850
Keep it movin'.
I wanna get some sun today and there's still lots to do.
288
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,380
For Canada Gooses?
289
00:13:18,420 --> 00:13:19,650
ALL: Anything!
290
00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:23,320
MAN: Quack! Who's that?
291
00:13:24,990 --> 00:13:25,960
Fuckin' embarrassing.
292
00:13:25,990 --> 00:13:28,460
You gonna replace
that divot there, asshole?
293
00:13:28,500 --> 00:13:32,200
(GLASS SMASHING)
That cocksucker went farther than your ball did, you sally.
294
00:13:32,230 --> 00:13:34,130
-Whoa!
-You got your pitchin' wedge in there?
295
00:13:34,170 --> 00:13:36,640
I got a pitch for you.
Go fuck yourself.
296
00:13:36,670 --> 00:13:37,800
That's impressive.
297
00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:40,210
Heard you were
sexually harassing all the beer-kart girls.
298
00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:42,640
Well, we have
a beer-kart boy in this club so...
299
00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:43,810
-Bingo!
-(LAUGHING)
300
00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:46,950
WOMAN:
Have some self-respect you fuckin' sally.
301
00:13:46,980 --> 00:13:48,480
You're on Canada Gooses land.
302
00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:52,250
You better fix that divot
'cause Canada Gooses would fix it for you.
303
00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:54,750
There's a special place
in heaven for friggin' animal lovers,
304
00:13:54,790 --> 00:13:56,890
-that's what I always say.
-Um-hmm.
305
00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:58,830
-Watch yourself, baby.
-(GLASS SMASHING)
306
00:13:58,860 --> 00:14:00,060
You suck!
307
00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:03,430
Go fuck yourself,
ya sally!
308
00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:05,570
Dookus...
309
00:14:07,300 --> 00:14:08,970
All right, Jonesy.
310
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,940
Despite catastrophic
contrariness in character
311
00:14:11,970 --> 00:14:13,940
and concerning contrast
in conduct.
312
00:14:13,970 --> 00:14:15,580
Disturbing disparity
in demeanour.
313
00:14:15,610 --> 00:14:16,810
Don't be redundant, Roald.
314
00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:18,810
(SNORING)
Oh my God, I just woke up.
315
00:14:18,850 --> 00:14:20,380
Remind me.
316
00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:22,620
Do you enjoy gaming?
317
00:14:22,650 --> 00:14:23,680
-Yeah.
-Dancing.
318
00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:24,780
Dancing.
319
00:14:24,820 --> 00:14:25,920
-No.
-Hard drugs?
320
00:14:25,950 --> 00:14:29,760
-That's a fight on sight, buddy.
-Qui! C'est parfait!
321
00:14:29,790 --> 00:14:34,860
-Pardon?
-I think you mean pardone. Donc ... Faque allons-y!
322
00:14:34,890 --> 00:14:37,360
Jonesy.
Do you like bread?
323
00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:38,600
-Yeah.
-Uh-hmm.
324
00:14:38,630 --> 00:14:39,870
That's the body
of Christ, buddy. Do you like wine?
325
00:14:39,900 --> 00:14:43,940
-Sure.
-That's the blood of Christ. Do you like singing?
326
00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:45,870
-Um...
-Doot do do do do...
327
00:14:45,910 --> 00:14:48,340
-Do do.
-Oh, Lord, did you hear it?
328
00:14:48,370 --> 00:14:52,150
It's the voice of an angel.
I think the choice is clear. Just do it!
329
00:14:52,180 --> 00:14:54,850
-But... gaming!
-Gaming.
330
00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:56,520
-I love Chel, boys.
-Chel it is.
331
00:14:56,550 --> 00:14:57,450
Chel it is.
332
00:14:57,480 --> 00:15:02,320
Chel? Uh, no!
No! What about... cheese.
333
00:15:03,190 --> 00:15:04,290
Cheese?
334
00:15:05,020 --> 00:15:07,290
Yes. Cheese.
335
00:15:07,330 --> 00:15:11,870
Everyone knows
cheese is the milk of Christ.
336
00:15:11,900 --> 00:15:15,900
You've hit the motherlode
of cheesie yumminess when you pick Christ.
337
00:15:15,940 --> 00:15:17,500
It's a classic.
Bread, wine, cheese.
338
00:15:17,540 --> 00:15:20,870
And also cured
in salted dried meats.
339
00:15:20,910 --> 00:15:23,680
That's the flesh of Christ.
340
00:15:23,710 --> 00:15:25,180
-Huh?
-See Corinthians!
341
00:15:25,210 --> 00:15:27,980
Bread, wine, cheese, meat!
342
00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:30,050
Christianity is
a charcuterie board.
343
00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:32,350
Come have some charcuterie
with Christ, Jonesy.
344
00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:33,720
You'll like it. It's yummy.
345
00:15:33,750 --> 00:15:35,050
-Blasphemy!
-Sacrilege!
346
00:15:35,090 --> 00:15:35,920
What would you know?
347
00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:37,290
(CAR DOOR CLOSES)
348
00:15:39,060 --> 00:15:39,930
Hey, buddy.
349
00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:41,490
Hey, buddy.
350
00:15:41,530 --> 00:15:44,060
Katy send you for some
sour candies again?
351
00:15:44,100 --> 00:15:45,370
Yeah, buddy.
352
00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:47,870
Buddy, you should just
buy a bunch of packs of sour candies.
353
00:15:47,900 --> 00:15:51,600
You put all the packs
of sour candies in a jar at Katy's,
354
00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:53,910
then you won't have
to keep coming into town to get sour candies.
355
00:15:53,940 --> 00:15:58,010
She'll have
all the sour candies she wants right there.
356
00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:01,580
Did you know that
you're the smartest person that I've ever met?
357
00:16:01,610 --> 00:16:04,120
Back off, Reilly.
Jonesy's coming with me.
358
00:16:04,150 --> 00:16:07,920
No he is not!
He's coming with us.
359
00:16:07,950 --> 00:16:10,060
I need a crew, buddy.
360
00:16:10,090 --> 00:16:12,060
Jonesy want some
charcuterie of Christ?
361
00:16:12,090 --> 00:16:13,260
You must be hungry.
You want a snacky?
362
00:16:13,290 --> 00:16:15,400
-Christ gives you snackies.
-Jones... come here Jonesy.
363
00:16:15,430 --> 00:16:16,530
You want a little snackie,
just... shhh--
364
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:18,400
-Jonesy. Come here, Jonesy.
-(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
365
00:16:18,430 --> 00:16:19,530
Yummy, yummy.
Come here, Jonesy.
366
00:16:19,570 --> 00:16:21,630
Yummy, yummy, snack down.
Yummy, yummy, snack down.
367
00:16:21,670 --> 00:16:23,470
-(ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
-Who's the good Jonesy?
368
00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:24,600
Come here... come here Jonesy.
Come. Come--
369
00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:28,910
Yummy, yummy ... Yummy yummy-
Oh who's the good Jonesy?
370
00:16:28,940 --> 00:16:30,040
Jonesy, chel, chel, chel... chel
Jonesy, come here buddy. Come on.
371
00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:32,810
Chel, chel, chel, chel, chel,
chel, chel, chel, chel...
372
00:16:32,850 --> 00:16:37,220
Bujie, bujie, bujie, bujie...
373
00:16:37,250 --> 00:16:41,890
Chel... chel...
Come here, Jonesy.
374
00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:43,620
(GEESE HONKING)
375
00:16:43,660 --> 00:16:46,430
-MAN: Fuck golf...
-Fuckin' embarrassing.
376
00:16:46,460 --> 00:16:49,730
Would you stop talkin'
so I can enjoy this peaceful game?
377
00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:53,100
How fuckin' peaceful
can it be hackin' it up all day, bud.
378
00:16:53,130 --> 00:16:54,930
-You fuckin' suck.
-You're terrible.
379
00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:56,800
I'm not sure time
heals that wound.
380
00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:59,770
Must be nice to have time
to hack it up all day. Must be nice.
381
00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:02,240
When I was comin' up
we'd be lucky to have any times to relax.
382
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:05,010
Now you got enough time
to relax and hacks it up.
383
00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:06,580
Must be fuckin' nice!
384
00:17:06,610 --> 00:17:08,780
Whenever anybody has
a problem these days it's straight to hacking it up
385
00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:11,320
and make yourself
look like a fuckin' fool on the links.
386
00:17:11,350 --> 00:17:12,990
Gotta leave this world behind.
387
00:17:13,020 --> 00:17:15,420
-Look, the geese--
-Gooses!
388
00:17:15,460 --> 00:17:17,960
...they're just pheasants
with better marketing.
389
00:17:17,990 --> 00:17:20,460
-(GLASS SHATTERS)
-You got a problem with Canada Gooses,
390
00:17:20,490 --> 00:17:23,300
you got a problem with me
and I suggest you let that one marinate.
391
00:17:23,330 --> 00:17:25,800
-(GLASS SHATTERS)
-You play the Beatles White Album backwards,
392
00:17:25,830 --> 00:17:26,870
you know what you hear?
393
00:17:26,900 --> 00:17:28,000
Canada Gooses.
394
00:17:28,030 --> 00:17:29,440
Same thing
for Michael Jackson's Thriller.
395
00:17:29,470 --> 00:17:32,770
-(GLASS SHATTERS)
-And everything Shania Twain's ever recorded!
396
00:17:32,810 --> 00:17:34,870
-(GLASS SHATTERS)
-They buried a Canada Gooses feather
397
00:17:34,910 --> 00:17:37,140
at centre ice
for Crosby's golden goal in 2010!
398
00:17:37,180 --> 00:17:40,110
When Columbus found
North America and the Native Americans were in it,
399
00:17:40,150 --> 00:17:42,450
you know what helped
them find the way? Canada Gooses.
400
00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:45,050
And what did you hear
right before JFK's got assassinated there,
401
00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:46,350
Fuzzy Zellers?
402
00:17:46,390 --> 00:17:48,320
A Canada Goose
trying to warns him.
403
00:17:48,350 --> 00:17:50,160
Did you ever notice how
there's always Canada Gooses
404
00:17:50,190 --> 00:17:51,890
flying overhead
when there's a fire?
405
00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:54,960
They're flapping water on it,
but no one calls them heroes.
406
00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:57,730
They're not in it for the glory;
they're in it for the people.
407
00:17:57,760 --> 00:17:58,730
For the relationships.
408
00:17:58,770 --> 00:18:00,730
I've noticed walking down
the path of my life
409
00:18:00,770 --> 00:18:03,200
usually in the deepest
and darkest and saddest times,
410
00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:05,170
there was always
one set of footprints in the sand.
411
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:06,640
And they're webbed.
412
00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:08,880
And if my wife were here
instead of getting us a cocksucking gin and tonic
413
00:18:08,910 --> 00:18:12,050
she'd say there's
a special place in heaven for animal lovers.
414
00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:13,480
Fuckin' embarrassing.
415
00:18:13,510 --> 00:18:15,080
Bring it. Bring it.
Bring it.
416
00:18:15,110 --> 00:18:16,650
Come on. Come on!
417
00:18:31,130 --> 00:18:32,870
See anyone up town?
418
00:18:32,900 --> 00:18:36,770
Yeah, uh, Roald, Stewart,
419
00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:41,710
Glen, you know. Jonesy.
420
00:18:41,740 --> 00:18:44,740
I got a whole bag
of sour candies for you so you can put 'em in a big jar
421
00:18:44,780 --> 00:18:48,210
and put 'em on the counter
it's just... just for you, Katy-Kat.
422
00:18:48,250 --> 00:18:51,580
Oh, no I wanted
the sour jellybeans.
423
00:18:51,620 --> 00:18:55,420
Okay, but I just drove
all the way to town and... and back. So, uh--
424
00:18:55,460 --> 00:18:59,130
Well, maybe Jonesy
can pick them up. Or is Jonesy gone?
425
00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:03,300
(ECHOING)
Jonesy gone... Jonesy gone...
426
00:19:03,330 --> 00:19:07,230
Jonesy gone...
Jonesy gone... Jonesy gone...
427
00:19:07,270 --> 00:19:10,300
-No!
-No?
428
00:19:10,340 --> 00:19:14,070
No. No. I'll... I'll...
I'll go get... I'll go get them.
429
00:19:14,110 --> 00:19:16,740
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
430
00:20:03,220 --> 00:20:05,590
(INAUDIABLE)
431
00:20:05,630 --> 00:20:08,190
-(GLASS SHATTERS)
-So, if I start taking shits on your golf course
432
00:20:08,230 --> 00:20:11,830
you can start killing my babies
'cause it's exact same thing with Canada Gooses.
433
00:20:11,860 --> 00:20:15,330
-It's exact same thing.
-Aw, it's fuckin' embarrassing!
434
00:20:15,370 --> 00:20:17,770
-(GLASS SHATTERS)
-And how do you thinks Evil Knievel's made all them
435
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:20,870
dare devil jumps there,
shitty John Daleys, Canada Gooses.
436
00:20:20,910 --> 00:20:23,140
Letting them into
their jet streams, that's how.
437
00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:24,540
That... that is not true.
438
00:20:24,580 --> 00:20:26,680
The same thing goes
for Evil Knievel Junior and Travis Pastrana.
439
00:20:26,710 --> 00:20:28,710
They owe everything
they have to Canada Gooses.
440
00:20:28,750 --> 00:20:30,320
-It's not true!
-(GLASS SHATTERS)
441
00:20:30,350 --> 00:20:31,750
And most people
don't know this
442
00:20:31,780 --> 00:20:36,120
but Canada Gooses
were the deciding factor in the 1995 Quebec referendum.
443
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:37,390
They kept
this country together.
444
00:20:37,420 --> 00:20:39,960
-(GLASS SHATTERS)
-You got a problem with animal lovers,
445
00:20:39,990 --> 00:20:43,130
you got a problem with me
and I suggest you let that one marinate.
446
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:47,170
Fine! Fine!
The Geese--
447
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:48,370
-Gooses!
-(GRUNTS)
448
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:51,370
I will call off the oiling
of the Goose eggs, all right,
449
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,340
if you will leave
this golf course, all right,
450
00:20:53,370 --> 00:20:55,840
and let the members
of the Letterkenny
451
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:58,340
Grey Granite Copper Creek
452
00:20:58,380 --> 00:21:02,420
Whistle Ridge Golf
and goddam Country Club,
453
00:21:02,450 --> 00:21:05,180
play this game in peace!
454
00:21:07,350 --> 00:21:11,090
-Do we have your word?
-You have my word!
455
00:21:11,120 --> 00:21:14,690
Then come look me in the eye
and shake my fuckin' hand.
456
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:17,230
Hop to it!
457
00:21:17,260 --> 00:21:18,760
Get movin',
Tiger stripes Woods.
458
00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:21,800
Horizontal stripes
are never flattering.
459
00:21:24,270 --> 00:21:27,910
Thank fuckin' Christ,
am I happy to leave this fuckin' Goose factory.
460
00:21:27,940 --> 00:21:30,440
-Holy shit
do you hack it up... -Unreal.
461
00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:32,450
Get some ankle socks,
you dick head.
462
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:34,510
Come on, come on,
come on, replace those divots.
463
00:21:34,550 --> 00:21:36,450
Those Canada Gooses
will do it for you...
464
00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:38,920
The fuckin' grass grows ...
465
00:21:40,490 --> 00:21:43,720
Go for an Arnold Palmer...
466
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:49,400
You know, it's hard not to have
Canada Gooses backs when they're so close to us as humans.
467
00:21:49,430 --> 00:21:53,370
Male Canada Gooses help female
Canada Gooses.
468
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:54,370
They're fuckin' hammered, eh?
469
00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:58,100
It's pretty hard to believe that
Canada Gooses
470
00:21:58,140 --> 00:22:01,110
are still labelled a pest
species in most rural areas.
471
00:22:01,140 --> 00:22:05,210
Well, if the shoe fits, wear it.
If the truth hurts, bare it, bud.
472
00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,980
I'll always root for
the underdog.
473
00:22:08,010 --> 00:22:11,420
The Canada Gooselings are pretty
cute when they hatch though, right?
474
00:22:11,450 --> 00:22:13,050
Well, no arguments there,
good buddy.
475
00:22:13,090 --> 00:22:14,490
Fuckin' eh.
476
00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:17,060
Have you ever seen how Canada
Gooses stray feathers floatin' on water?
477
00:22:17,090 --> 00:22:20,960
They're not even like other bird
feathers that get all waterlogged and shit.
478
00:22:20,990 --> 00:22:25,160
No. They're aerodynamic.
Aqua-dynamic.
479
00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:29,770
It's almost like ants could use
their feathers as racing as kayaks or some shit...
480
00:22:31,370 --> 00:22:33,340
Ants racing on kayaks, baby.
481
00:22:33,370 --> 00:22:37,210
Of course they can't, ants can't
race no kayaks, honey.
482
00:22:38,510 --> 00:22:40,080
But maybe they coulds.
483
00:22:40,130 --> 00:22:44,680
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
40806
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof