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1
00:00:10,338 --> 00:00:11,916
All right. After autumn...
2
00:00:11,917 --> 00:00:14,061
Ask anyone around the area
about accuracy.
3
00:00:14,062 --> 00:00:15,812
Arctic activities are abundant,
4
00:00:15,813 --> 00:00:18,482
astonishing, astounding and
A-1 on all accounts.
5
00:00:18,566 --> 00:00:20,442
- Back up...
- But before beach bodies,
6
00:00:20,443 --> 00:00:21,901
bros better bundle up in boots,
7
00:00:21,903 --> 00:00:23,266
blankets, and balaclavas
8
00:00:23,268 --> 00:00:26,448
because a bloody, bitter breeze
will blow brisk, blustery and bleak.
9
00:00:26,449 --> 00:00:28,450
- Careful...
- Correct and common to cocoon
10
00:00:28,451 --> 00:00:29,951
in a cap, coat and comforter,
11
00:00:29,952 --> 00:00:31,995
because a cutting cold
can consume your character,
12
00:00:31,996 --> 00:00:33,413
occasionally create a corpse
13
00:00:33,414 --> 00:00:34,623
and continually compress your cock.
14
00:00:34,624 --> 00:00:36,291
- Don't...
- Don't you dare dawdle,
15
00:00:36,292 --> 00:00:38,376
dilly-dally, or dick around
after dark in December,
16
00:00:38,377 --> 00:00:40,587
she's definitely damn drafty
if you're down a duvet.
17
00:00:40,588 --> 00:00:42,130
- Easily...
- Each and every earthling's
18
00:00:42,131 --> 00:00:43,423
environmentally enslaved.
19
00:00:43,424 --> 00:00:45,008
- Fact...
- It's fucking freezing.
20
00:00:45,009 --> 00:00:47,385
It's friggin' frigid.
You're fit for flu in February
21
00:00:47,386 --> 00:00:49,949
without fleece, flannel,
full-fledged furnace, or fire.
22
00:00:49,951 --> 00:00:51,514
- Go on...
- It's goddamn glacial,
23
00:00:51,515 --> 00:00:53,957
go grab gloves or garb and
gear up for gusts.
24
00:00:53,959 --> 00:00:55,306
- Hear ya...
- Hypothermia,
25
00:00:55,308 --> 00:00:57,442
if you don't heat your home
to half hellish it's harsh.
26
00:00:57,443 --> 00:00:59,156
Hibernate in a hoodie, hot chocolate,
27
00:00:59,157 --> 00:01:00,365
Harry and the Hendersons.
28
00:01:00,366 --> 00:01:02,325
- Infinitely icy...
- Inhabit indoors.
29
00:01:02,326 --> 00:01:03,660
Isolated and insulated.
30
00:01:03,661 --> 00:01:05,996
Incubate the igloo.
Illness is an issue.
31
00:01:05,997 --> 00:01:08,665
Influenzas implied.
Infections imminent.
32
00:01:08,666 --> 00:01:10,376
Immunity is impossible.
33
00:01:16,507 --> 00:01:18,467
- Just joking...
- Ah, just joshin' jargon.
34
00:01:18,468 --> 00:01:21,011
It ain't jail. Jackets in
January's no jigsaw.
35
00:01:21,012 --> 00:01:22,554
- Keep calm...
- Killjoys keep comfy
36
00:01:22,555 --> 00:01:24,556
in their kingdom,
crashing kilos of Kleenex,
37
00:01:24,557 --> 00:01:26,475
keen for cozy kayaking with their kids
38
00:01:26,476 --> 00:01:28,477
when the key is killing kegs
with your kin.
39
00:01:28,478 --> 00:01:29,936
- Literally...
- Losers live life
40
00:01:29,937 --> 00:01:32,230
locked in their layers,
lingering lazy and lifeless,
41
00:01:32,231 --> 00:01:33,648
lost like legit loners,
42
00:01:33,649 --> 00:01:35,692
while the leaders in
larger learning let loose.
43
00:01:35,693 --> 00:01:36,723
(CHUCKLES) Muff.
44
00:01:36,725 --> 00:01:38,612
Earmuffs, mittens and mucus medicine,
45
00:01:38,613 --> 00:01:40,489
till mighty maniacal
Mother Nature makes
46
00:01:40,490 --> 00:01:42,365
milder, mellower, and meltier moves.
47
00:01:42,366 --> 00:01:44,576
Motivate your mates,
like the Moose Marc Messier.
48
00:01:44,577 --> 00:01:46,328
Maybe mix a martini for your maiden,
49
00:01:46,329 --> 00:01:47,871
- if you've met your match.
- Nature.
50
00:01:47,872 --> 00:01:49,873
Naturally nippy, but that's
nothin' new up north.
51
00:01:49,874 --> 00:01:52,417
Normal naturistic narrative.
Not national news.
52
00:01:52,418 --> 00:01:53,877
- Overcast.
- Overcoats and
53
00:01:53,878 --> 00:01:55,696
- overshoes, obviously.
- Polar.
54
00:01:55,698 --> 00:01:57,631
Parkas and pullovers, particularily.
55
00:01:57,632 --> 00:01:59,633
- Tried quail?
- A quantity of quality quilts
56
00:01:59,634 --> 00:02:01,426
is quaint and
quasi-quintessential
57
00:02:01,427 --> 00:02:03,428
to avoid quivering
and quash quarrelling
58
00:02:03,429 --> 00:02:05,462
if quarantined to
one's quarters. Try quail.
59
00:02:05,464 --> 00:02:06,973
- Reindeer.
- Well, not raw rookie.
60
00:02:06,974 --> 00:02:08,266
In a rosemary-rubbed roast
61
00:02:08,267 --> 00:02:09,935
with radish,
wrapped in rich, rare bacon
62
00:02:09,936 --> 00:02:11,867
after removing Rudolph's red nose.
63
00:02:11,869 --> 00:02:13,146
- Sleddin'
- So, we're sound.
64
00:02:13,147 --> 00:02:14,648
Sled's a synonym for snowmobiles.
65
00:02:14,649 --> 00:02:16,483
Snowmobile's a synonym for sled.
66
00:02:16,484 --> 00:02:20,321
So, a sled is a snowmobile,
a snowmobile is a sled. Super?
67
00:02:27,662 --> 00:02:29,413
- Terrific.
- Trust a traditional
68
00:02:29,414 --> 00:02:31,969
turtleneck to maintain
a toasty temperature over time.
69
00:02:31,971 --> 00:02:32,974
- Ugly.
- Useful.
70
00:02:32,976 --> 00:02:33,953
- Vile.
- Valuable.
71
00:02:33,955 --> 00:02:35,530
- Whatever.
- Whiteouts and wind chills,
72
00:02:35,532 --> 00:02:36,753
walk it off, whiners.
73
00:02:36,754 --> 00:02:39,005
Withdraw whimpering and
wake up, wankers.
74
00:02:39,006 --> 00:02:40,298
Wrathful wicked weather.
75
00:02:40,299 --> 00:02:42,509
Wear woolens or waterproof wardrobe.
76
00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:44,594
Warm your wet
workwear by the woodstove.
77
00:02:44,595 --> 00:02:47,097
Winter is wonderful, wild and wide.
78
00:02:47,098 --> 00:02:48,640
- Exactly.
- Exceptionally.
79
00:02:48,641 --> 00:02:49,850
- Yup.
- Yeah.
80
00:02:49,851 --> 00:02:51,893
Zero... Degrees?
81
00:02:51,894 --> 00:02:53,146
Well, sub-zero.
82
00:02:53,411 --> 00:02:54,537
Aw, zip it.
83
00:02:54,539 --> 00:02:57,024
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
84
00:02:57,025 --> 00:02:59,025
subtitle by peritta
85
00:03:21,174 --> 00:03:23,176
(HARD ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
86
00:04:55,477 --> 00:04:57,704
Guess those idiots won't be
bothering us anymore.
87
00:04:57,706 --> 00:04:58,639
How are you now?
88
00:04:58,641 --> 00:04:59,895
Please don't talk to
me like a fuckin' hick.
89
00:04:59,896 --> 00:05:00,853
Not so bad.
90
00:05:00,855 --> 00:05:02,126
Are you serious with
that fuckin' turtleneck?
91
00:05:02,127 --> 00:05:03,356
You lose a lot of heat in the neck.
92
00:05:03,357 --> 00:05:04,816
I'm okay, if that's what you're askin'.
93
00:05:04,817 --> 00:05:05,853
That's what I'm askin'.
94
00:05:05,855 --> 00:05:06,927
I wasn't ready to have a kid.
95
00:05:06,928 --> 00:05:08,173
Well, that is your choice to make.
96
00:05:08,174 --> 00:05:09,308
You're goddamn right it's my choice.
97
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,163
- Sure, it is.
- I'm glad I took care of it.
98
00:05:11,165 --> 00:05:12,457
Well, that is your right.
99
00:05:12,459 --> 00:05:13,848
You're goddamn right it's my right.
100
00:05:13,849 --> 00:05:16,304
I'm not even sure if it was
yours, but thank you.
101
00:05:16,306 --> 00:05:18,558
Thanks for the smokes and Pepperettes.
102
00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:20,699
I'll see ya when I see ya, boo...
103
00:05:20,701 --> 00:05:21,702
Over and out.
104
00:05:28,507 --> 00:05:30,300
(COUGHING)
105
00:05:30,499 --> 00:05:32,333
You gots a cold there, Darys?
106
00:05:32,335 --> 00:05:33,585
Hmm, just a cough.
107
00:05:33,737 --> 00:05:34,905
Well, you knows what they says...
108
00:05:34,906 --> 00:05:37,242
If you don't take care of a cold,
she'll stay for seven days.
109
00:05:37,243 --> 00:05:38,949
If you take care of it,
she'll be gone in a week.
110
00:05:38,950 --> 00:05:41,535
Yep. We can't promise summers
but we'll guarantees winters.
111
00:05:41,821 --> 00:05:43,190
You fuckin' serious
with that turtleneck?
112
00:05:43,191 --> 00:05:44,576
Yeah, you lose a lot of
heat in the neck.
113
00:05:44,577 --> 00:05:46,786
Jivin' Pete says he pulls
a pikes outta here yesterday.
114
00:05:46,895 --> 00:05:49,335
Heard Jivin's been hanging out
with some degens from up country.
115
00:05:49,336 --> 00:05:51,086
(DAN GRUMBLES)
116
00:05:51,088 --> 00:05:52,464
He's a decent guy, but
117
00:05:52,466 --> 00:05:54,236
ain't no way he pulled no
pike outta here yesterday.
118
00:05:54,237 --> 00:05:55,404
Says he pulled a pikes,
119
00:05:55,406 --> 00:05:57,624
a perch, a wallseyes and a trout.
120
00:05:57,626 --> 00:05:58,696
Is that a brook trout?
121
00:05:58,698 --> 00:06:00,283
- No, it'd be lake trout.
- Why's that?
122
00:06:00,285 --> 00:06:01,870
'Cause we're on a fuckin' lake, Dary.
123
00:06:02,338 --> 00:06:03,781
I'm hungry.
124
00:06:03,838 --> 00:06:05,338
There's whitefish in the cooler.
125
00:06:05,340 --> 00:06:06,860
Well, how the fuck did that get there?
126
00:06:07,048 --> 00:06:08,562
I pulled outta here before
you's got here.
127
00:06:08,563 --> 00:06:09,508
- No, you never.
- Did too.
128
00:06:09,509 --> 00:06:10,659
- No, you never.
- Did too.
129
00:06:10,661 --> 00:06:12,715
No, you never. If you did
you'd still be talking about it.
130
00:06:12,716 --> 00:06:14,049
Oh yeah, well, where'd it
come from then?
131
00:06:14,050 --> 00:06:15,445
Well, you brought it from home likely.
132
00:06:15,446 --> 00:06:17,446
Well, there's nothin's even to
cooks it on anyways.
133
00:06:17,860 --> 00:06:19,778
- You gonna let that stop you?
- What do you means?
134
00:06:19,779 --> 00:06:21,322
Haven't you ever heard of sashimis?
135
00:06:21,324 --> 00:06:24,284
- Sashimis?
- Oh, I got time for sashimis.
136
00:06:24,322 --> 00:06:25,656
- What about sushi?
- Sushis.
137
00:06:25,658 --> 00:06:28,108
Oh, I got so much time for sushis.
138
00:06:28,110 --> 00:06:30,783
Yeah, we should pull it out
and hack it out and down the hatch.
139
00:06:30,988 --> 00:06:34,200
Oh no, I knows what it is, I just...
140
00:06:35,653 --> 00:06:38,054
I just don't think you needs to put
an "s" on the end to that word.
141
00:06:38,055 --> 00:06:39,902
Hey, Dary, you ever had
sushis with shrimps?
142
00:06:39,904 --> 00:06:41,113
Yeah.
143
00:06:41,115 --> 00:06:42,492
You ever had sushis with unagis?
144
00:06:42,494 --> 00:06:43,825
- Yeah.
- That's eels.
145
00:06:43,827 --> 00:06:45,287
Oh, I know that's eels.
146
00:06:46,222 --> 00:06:47,879
I just... I'm pretty sure
147
00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:50,571
you don't needs an "s"
to pluralize those words.
148
00:06:50,573 --> 00:06:52,547
Hey, Dary, you ever had
sashimis with salmons?
149
00:06:52,549 --> 00:06:54,258
Oh, yeah. You ever had
sashimis with tunas?
150
00:06:54,260 --> 00:06:55,592
Yeah. With wasabis?
151
00:06:55,594 --> 00:06:56,777
Oh, yeah. Love wasabis.
152
00:06:56,779 --> 00:06:58,055
I like wasabis, too.
153
00:06:58,057 --> 00:07:00,349
If asks you politelys to
stop this, would you do it?
154
00:07:00,351 --> 00:07:04,104
Oh, you can have yellowfin
tunas, bluefin tunas.
155
00:07:04,105 --> 00:07:05,660
I think tunas make the best sashimis.
156
00:07:05,662 --> 00:07:07,287
I thinks I'm having a panics attack.
157
00:07:07,289 --> 00:07:09,999
Well, the Japanese call the
bluefin tunas maguro tunas,
158
00:07:10,001 --> 00:07:12,478
those are kind of like the default
tunas that they use in sushis.
159
00:07:12,479 --> 00:07:15,383
Yeah, but toro is a more expensive
tuna but it makes the best sashimis.
160
00:07:15,385 --> 00:07:16,694
Oh, it's way better than salmons.
161
00:07:16,695 --> 00:07:17,844
Hey!
162
00:07:19,042 --> 00:07:21,627
When's... When's Katy's
gettin' back from the citys?
163
00:07:21,629 --> 00:07:23,907
Oh, she'll come back when she's good
and ready. She'll figure it out.
164
00:07:23,908 --> 00:07:25,320
I figure she'll be back
for sledding season.
165
00:07:25,321 --> 00:07:26,661
Oh, Katy loves sleddin'
166
00:07:26,663 --> 00:07:27,820
(SIGHS)
167
00:07:30,472 --> 00:07:32,598
It chap your ass at all that
there's only one shack
168
00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:33,684
on the shed trail through Letterkenny?
169
00:07:33,685 --> 00:07:34,994
Well, it doesn't chap my ass,
170
00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:37,790
but I guess there could be another
stop along the trail for a social.
171
00:07:37,792 --> 00:07:39,306
Yeah, like it doesn't
chap my ass either,
172
00:07:39,307 --> 00:07:40,725
but I'm just sayin' that
sleddin' and socials
173
00:07:40,726 --> 00:07:41,876
go together like piss and a fart.
174
00:07:41,877 --> 00:07:43,044
Yeah.
175
00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:45,804
I guess there could be another
stop along the trail for a social.
176
00:07:45,806 --> 00:07:47,424
Could be another stop
along the trail for a dart.
177
00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:49,097
Well, it's a great spot
for a darty-party.
178
00:07:49,099 --> 00:07:50,170
So, we're gonna build a new shack?
179
00:07:50,171 --> 00:07:52,354
I'm surprised we're not
buildin' a new shack right now.
180
00:07:52,356 --> 00:07:53,378
That's what I'm sayin'.
181
00:07:53,380 --> 00:07:55,174
I figure it's about time that
we stopped talkin' about it
182
00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:57,203
- and started bein' about it.
- Oh, we could just throw up
183
00:07:57,204 --> 00:07:59,201
the structure and get all
the materials paid off
184
00:07:59,202 --> 00:08:01,442
- sellin' two-dollar cans.
- Two-dollar socials.
185
00:08:01,444 --> 00:08:03,307
Yeah, we could sell whitefish sashimis
186
00:08:03,309 --> 00:08:04,601
to help expedite the process.
187
00:08:04,603 --> 00:08:08,188
Oh, we could get real stinky and
sell perch and walleye sushis.
188
00:08:08,190 --> 00:08:09,190
Hey!
189
00:08:10,862 --> 00:08:12,113
Walleye...
190
00:08:14,254 --> 00:08:15,589
Perch...
191
00:08:17,226 --> 00:08:20,266
And whitefish...
192
00:08:21,966 --> 00:08:24,300
Are not...
193
00:08:27,162 --> 00:08:31,116
Sushi or...
194
00:08:31,461 --> 00:08:37,259
Sashimi grade.
195
00:08:39,208 --> 00:08:40,277
(SIGHS)
196
00:08:40,279 --> 00:08:43,692
Well, yeah, I guess you'd have to do pot
to accomplish that sort of appetite.
197
00:08:44,506 --> 00:08:45,757
Says you.
198
00:08:48,239 --> 00:08:49,960
- Pre-game sandos?
- Check, buddy.
199
00:08:49,961 --> 00:08:51,294
- Pre-game nappies?
- Check, bro.
200
00:08:51,295 --> 00:08:53,898
Don Cherry's Rock 'EmSock 'Em 6 for motivation?
201
00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:55,900
Don Cherry's Rock 'Em Sock 'Em 6.
202
00:08:55,902 --> 00:08:58,551
Chel Tourney for
game situation visualization?
203
00:08:58,553 --> 00:09:00,872
Second Chel Tourney for
peak performance imagery.
204
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,997
- Pre-game dump?
- No pre-game dump.
205
00:09:02,999 --> 00:09:04,372
Hmm. No pre-game cruncher.
206
00:09:04,374 --> 00:09:06,250
No pre-game deucer.
207
00:09:06,252 --> 00:09:07,555
Better go drop that bomb.
208
00:09:07,557 --> 00:09:08,885
Better go release the chocolate hostage.
209
00:09:08,886 --> 00:09:09,904
Better bust a grumpy.
210
00:09:09,906 --> 00:09:11,221
Better go call in a code brown.
211
00:09:11,223 --> 00:09:13,343
- Better go boost one.
- Eat. Sleep. Boost.
212
00:09:13,345 --> 00:09:14,553
- Caffeine.
- Check.
213
00:09:14,555 --> 00:09:15,642
- Creatine?
- Check.
214
00:09:15,644 --> 00:09:16,937
- Livin' the dream.
- Livin' the dream.
215
00:09:16,938 --> 00:09:18,356
Hold my spitter.
216
00:09:20,681 --> 00:09:22,160
Hold my spitter.
217
00:10:36,366 --> 00:10:38,610
All right,
how're we gonna fuck this pig?
218
00:10:38,611 --> 00:10:40,193
Well, you're gonna wanna
starts with dimensions.
219
00:10:40,194 --> 00:10:42,122
- What're you thinkin' there?
- 14-by-16.
220
00:10:42,123 --> 00:10:43,637
What, you wanna play
dodgeball in there, Dary?
221
00:10:43,638 --> 00:10:45,549
14-by-16, well,
that's five me's,
222
00:10:45,551 --> 00:10:47,072
five you's and five Dary's.
223
00:10:47,074 --> 00:10:49,034
You wanna play three team
dodgeball in there, Dan?
224
00:10:49,035 --> 00:10:50,215
Call it 12-by-14.
225
00:10:50,217 --> 00:10:52,176
You wanna play fuckin'
dodgeball in there, Dary.
226
00:10:52,178 --> 00:10:53,425
12-by-14.
227
00:10:53,426 --> 00:10:55,636
That's four me's,
four you's and four Dary's.
228
00:10:55,637 --> 00:10:58,588
You wanna play two-team dodgeball
with one sub each in there, Dan?
229
00:10:58,590 --> 00:11:00,016
How about 8-by-10?
230
00:11:02,350 --> 00:11:03,892
Well, I'd fuck with
8-by-10.
231
00:11:03,894 --> 00:11:06,145
No, you're not playin' no
dodgeball in no 8-by-10s.
232
00:11:06,147 --> 00:11:07,814
I never wanted to play no
dodgeball in no 8-by-10.
233
00:11:07,815 --> 00:11:09,775
Oh, I got so much time
for 8-by-10.
234
00:11:09,776 --> 00:11:11,652
8-by-10,
that's three me's,
235
00:11:11,653 --> 00:11:13,237
three you's and two Dary's.
236
00:11:13,238 --> 00:11:14,905
- Comfortably?
- You're cozy.
237
00:11:14,906 --> 00:11:16,071
Plus some wiggle room in there.
238
00:11:16,072 --> 00:11:17,157
Call it 8-by-10.
239
00:11:17,158 --> 00:11:19,077
Call it a Texas size 10-4,
good buddy.
240
00:11:21,412 --> 00:11:23,539
Show you how we're gonna
have the structure.
241
00:11:23,540 --> 00:11:27,500
What we're gonna do is put
a space heater here, mini fridge here.
242
00:11:28,962 --> 00:11:30,420
Gonna throw the genny right out there.
243
00:11:30,421 --> 00:11:32,798
What about the sushis and sashimis?
244
00:11:32,799 --> 00:11:34,175
- Hey!
- (DOOR OPENS)
245
00:11:35,115 --> 00:11:36,873
Hey!
246
00:11:36,874 --> 00:11:38,341
- Hey.
- How are you now?
247
00:11:38,343 --> 00:11:39,651
- Good, and you?
- Not so bad.
248
00:11:39,653 --> 00:11:41,305
You fuckin' serious
with that turtleneck?
249
00:11:41,307 --> 00:11:42,474
Lose a lot a heat in the neck.
250
00:11:42,475 --> 00:11:43,798
You fuckin' serious with that hair?
251
00:11:43,799 --> 00:11:45,424
- Figure it out.
- You figure it out.
252
00:11:45,426 --> 00:11:46,479
Where you's been?
253
00:11:46,481 --> 00:11:47,690
- Modeling.
- How's that for you?
254
00:11:47,691 --> 00:11:49,105
- Boring.
- Okay.
255
00:11:49,107 --> 00:11:50,399
There's no money in it.
256
00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:51,984
- Way she goes.
- A monkey could do it.
257
00:11:51,985 --> 00:11:53,819
- Good enough.
- Missed sleddin' season, too.
258
00:11:53,820 --> 00:11:55,112
I told you she'd miss sleddin' season.
259
00:11:55,113 --> 00:11:56,572
I was the one who said
she'd figure it out.
260
00:11:56,573 --> 00:11:58,699
- You figure it out.
- You figure it out.
261
00:11:58,700 --> 00:11:59,867
Where's your shits?
262
00:11:59,868 --> 00:12:01,160
About that...
263
00:12:04,421 --> 00:12:05,630
These are...
264
00:12:05,632 --> 00:12:06,840
My friends.
265
00:12:06,842 --> 00:12:09,733
Well, what are your friends named?
266
00:12:10,185 --> 00:12:12,562
Shep and Kingsley.
267
00:12:12,564 --> 00:12:15,089
- Those are dude's names?
- Yeah.
268
00:12:15,091 --> 00:12:16,383
They sound like dog names.
269
00:12:16,384 --> 00:12:17,915
I don't like where this is goin'.
270
00:12:17,917 --> 00:12:19,136
We'll be in my room.
271
00:12:19,137 --> 00:12:20,471
Guys, hang up your coats.
272
00:12:29,212 --> 00:12:30,629
Where's your fuckin' shirt, Shep?
273
00:12:30,631 --> 00:12:32,799
Where the fuck is your shirt, Kingsley?
274
00:12:32,847 --> 00:12:34,431
- It ripped.
- It ripped?
275
00:12:34,433 --> 00:12:36,434
- Mine too.
- How?
276
00:12:36,436 --> 00:12:38,312
'Cause I'm so fat.
277
00:12:38,314 --> 00:12:40,056
Me too, I'm so fat.
278
00:12:40,058 --> 00:12:41,114
I'm a bat fastard.
279
00:12:41,116 --> 00:12:43,201
- I'm a fat podger.
- Guys...
280
00:12:43,203 --> 00:12:44,744
Enough, let's go.
281
00:12:44,746 --> 00:12:47,414
If I was a Dr. Seuss book
I'd be The Fat in the Hat.
282
00:12:47,415 --> 00:12:49,833
If I was an arcade fighting
game I'd be Mortal Komfat.
283
00:12:49,834 --> 00:12:51,438
If I was one of the
five boroughs in New York City
284
00:12:51,439 --> 00:12:52,587
I'd be the Fatten Island.
285
00:12:52,589 --> 00:12:54,958
If I was an Italian city-state
I'd be the Fatican.
286
00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:56,405
Put a fuckin' shirt on!
287
00:13:04,527 --> 00:13:06,903
I don't know what happened
to you dusters,
288
00:13:06,905 --> 00:13:11,409
but, fuck me, do you fuck dog!
289
00:13:11,411 --> 00:13:15,024
Walkin' around poutin' like
your little sister took your last Oreo.
290
00:13:15,026 --> 00:13:16,548
And not a traditional Oreo,
291
00:13:16,550 --> 00:13:20,223
no, a limited edition Oreo,
or seasonal Oreo
292
00:13:20,225 --> 00:13:23,102
they're gonna take off
the shelf for another year.
293
00:13:23,104 --> 00:13:24,438
Hey, Barts,
294
00:13:24,439 --> 00:13:28,691
did little Natiesha take
your last Halloween Oreo?
295
00:13:28,917 --> 00:13:30,649
You didn't get a chance to say
296
00:13:30,651 --> 00:13:33,683
goodbye to that
delicious orange frosting?
297
00:13:34,043 --> 00:13:36,461
What about you, Yorkie? Huh?
298
00:13:36,463 --> 00:13:40,283
Did little Tamsyn take your
last Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Oreo?
299
00:13:40,285 --> 00:13:41,827
Well, it gets worse.
300
00:13:41,977 --> 00:13:45,563
Those have been discontinued forever.
301
00:13:45,565 --> 00:13:47,566
What about you, Scholtzy, huh?
302
00:13:47,568 --> 00:13:51,633
Did little Tay 'Rhonda take your
last Ice Cream Oreo Orange Sherbet?
303
00:13:51,635 --> 00:13:53,914
That is a summertime flavor.
304
00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:57,652
Good luck suckin' back on
one of those in the next six months.
305
00:13:58,744 --> 00:13:59,911
Fisky, I know.
306
00:13:59,913 --> 00:14:01,872
You're a Birthday Cream Fudge guy.
307
00:14:01,874 --> 00:14:03,917
They're all gone. What?
308
00:14:03,919 --> 00:14:05,670
Little DeSondra was the culprit.
309
00:14:05,672 --> 00:14:07,647
And her pal LarawnShawn
310
00:14:07,649 --> 00:14:11,528
took the last Heads or
Tails Mega Stuff, too!
311
00:14:12,383 --> 00:14:14,410
Hey, Boomtown.
You're an only child.
312
00:14:14,412 --> 00:14:16,416
You got your NASCAR Daytona Oreos?
313
00:14:16,418 --> 00:14:19,879
It's fucking embarrassing!
314
00:14:19,881 --> 00:14:21,723
Let me give you some advice, donkeys.
315
00:14:21,725 --> 00:14:25,478
Take a page out of
Jonesy and Reilly's book.
316
00:14:31,716 --> 00:14:35,769
My boys, I skipped
curfew call for you last night
317
00:14:35,771 --> 00:14:37,416
'cause I knew you'd be doin' legs,
318
00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:38,635
and I didn't want to interrupt.
319
00:14:38,636 --> 00:14:41,397
We've been doin' legs two-a-days since
the first week of summer, Coach.
320
00:14:41,398 --> 00:14:44,563
Blocked every wheelchair ramp
in the arena so we'd have to do stairs.
321
00:14:44,565 --> 00:14:46,057
Tenacity.
322
00:14:46,059 --> 00:14:47,894
You can't teach that.
323
00:14:47,954 --> 00:14:49,996
You know, I never thought
those pheasants
324
00:14:50,029 --> 00:14:56,159
would fuck the dog so hard
325
00:14:56,161 --> 00:14:58,204
that you two would become my studs!
326
00:14:58,206 --> 00:14:59,377
- Thanks, Coach.
- Thanks, Coach.
327
00:14:59,378 --> 00:15:01,800
Well, I need one win.
328
00:15:02,729 --> 00:15:05,773
One W.
329
00:15:05,775 --> 00:15:07,567
What are you gonna do to get me that?
330
00:15:07,569 --> 00:15:08,743
- Selfish hockey.
- Selfish hockey.
331
00:15:08,744 --> 00:15:11,495
That's right. Selfish hockey!
332
00:15:11,497 --> 00:15:12,748
Break it down.
333
00:15:12,750 --> 00:15:14,135
Skate the puck. Don't pass it.
334
00:15:14,137 --> 00:15:15,842
Head man's still gonna be
there when you catch up.
335
00:15:15,843 --> 00:15:17,468
Take it coast-to-coast.
336
00:15:17,470 --> 00:15:19,304
Shots from poor angles are still shots.
337
00:15:19,306 --> 00:15:21,762
Buck and a half, two-minute shifts,
three minutes even.
338
00:15:21,764 --> 00:15:23,310
Cruise the blue line
to catch your breath.
339
00:15:23,311 --> 00:15:24,909
Bad bounce, that's a good breakaway.
340
00:15:24,911 --> 00:15:27,329
- Gotta get the bounces, boys.
- Perfect.
341
00:15:27,331 --> 00:15:29,559
And a retaliation penalty
never hurt anyone.
342
00:15:29,561 --> 00:15:30,561
What's our mantra?
343
00:15:30,563 --> 00:15:33,019
BOTH: They don't ask how,
they ask how many.
344
00:15:33,021 --> 00:15:34,188
That's right.
345
00:15:36,808 --> 00:15:39,019
What did I tell you about stick tape?
346
00:15:39,917 --> 00:15:43,900
You don't need it!
347
00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:47,864
The only people that'll be
worrying about puck handling
348
00:15:47,866 --> 00:15:49,450
are Jonesy and Reilly!
349
00:15:49,452 --> 00:15:51,916
Save it for them! Huh?
350
00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:55,287
W!
351
00:15:58,668 --> 00:16:00,877
Well, let's fuck this pig.
352
00:16:00,879 --> 00:16:02,056
Structure goes here.
353
00:16:02,058 --> 00:16:03,173
Sled parking here.
354
00:16:03,175 --> 00:16:04,580
Pretty good spot
for pissin' over there.
355
00:16:04,581 --> 00:16:07,124
Pissin' outside's for dogs and degens.
356
00:16:07,126 --> 00:16:09,002
I piss outside as much as the dog does.
357
00:16:09,004 --> 00:16:10,672
Well, I'm not above it either.
I'm just sayin'.
358
00:16:10,673 --> 00:16:13,233
Fuck, we could really use so
kind of bar in this town, eh?
359
00:16:13,235 --> 00:16:15,233
(PHONE BUZZING)
360
00:16:17,926 --> 00:16:19,244
- Katy.
- Big brother.
361
00:16:19,246 --> 00:16:20,483
- How're ya now?
- Good and you?
362
00:16:20,484 --> 00:16:22,864
- Not so bad.
- My friends need to borrow clothes.
363
00:16:22,866 --> 00:16:23,872
Give 'em barn clothes.
364
00:16:23,874 --> 00:16:25,649
I won't have barn clothes
in the house. They stink.
365
00:16:25,650 --> 00:16:27,754
Guess you have to put your friends
in the fuckin' barn then.
366
00:16:27,755 --> 00:16:29,366
They don't have any clothes
of their own.
367
00:16:29,441 --> 00:16:31,233
- Okay.
- They don't have any money.
368
00:16:31,235 --> 00:16:33,236
- Way she goes.
- Models are always broke.
369
00:16:33,238 --> 00:16:35,462
- Good enough.
- You have a baker's dozen plaid shirts.
370
00:16:35,464 --> 00:16:37,091
They only need two.
371
00:16:38,750 --> 00:16:41,237
Give them the hand-me-downs
I got from Dan's second cousin.
372
00:16:41,239 --> 00:16:43,015
- Who, Garrett?
- No, Jarrett.
373
00:16:43,017 --> 00:16:44,394
- 10-4.
- Over and out.
374
00:16:49,220 --> 00:16:50,679
These are the only ones that fit.
375
00:16:50,681 --> 00:16:53,227
- 'Cause we're too podgey.
- Ugh, don't start.
376
00:16:53,229 --> 00:16:54,689
If I was a major league baseball team
377
00:16:54,690 --> 00:16:56,190
I'd be the L.A. Podgers.
378
00:16:56,192 --> 00:16:58,864
If I was a major league baseball
pitcher I'd be Podger Clemens.
379
00:16:58,866 --> 00:17:00,908
If I was a pick-up truck
I'd be a Podge Ram.
380
00:17:01,216 --> 00:17:03,016
If I was a disguising
clothing pattern made for
381
00:17:03,017 --> 00:17:04,810
hunting and combat
I'd be camou-podge.
382
00:17:04,812 --> 00:17:06,683
No, better without the shirts.
383
00:17:12,502 --> 00:17:17,250
Okay. Now, go shut
both doors and lock them.
384
00:17:32,709 --> 00:17:34,548
- STEWART: Roald.
- (EXCLAIMS)
385
00:17:34,550 --> 00:17:35,957
You'll need to repeat that.
386
00:17:35,959 --> 00:17:37,616
- He's gone.
- He's gone?
387
00:17:37,618 --> 00:17:40,251
Along with all his stuff.
388
00:17:40,253 --> 00:17:41,755
Devon is gone.
389
00:17:42,845 --> 00:17:44,804
- Roald.
- Dude.
390
00:17:44,805 --> 00:17:46,816
Hysterics are fruitless.
391
00:17:47,266 --> 00:17:48,683
(HIGH-PITCHED SQUEAL)
Stewart...
392
00:17:48,684 --> 00:17:50,059
Tears are useless.
393
00:17:50,060 --> 00:17:51,561
(SQUEALS) Stewart...
394
00:17:51,562 --> 00:17:54,150
Pain is inevitable.
395
00:17:54,398 --> 00:17:55,583
Where?
396
00:17:56,859 --> 00:17:58,316
Why?
397
00:17:58,902 --> 00:18:01,863
W motherfucking five!
398
00:18:01,864 --> 00:18:03,741
I don't know.
399
00:18:03,743 --> 00:18:05,366
He had everything here.
400
00:18:05,603 --> 00:18:07,962
Hours upon hours
of ultra-competitive gaming
401
00:18:07,964 --> 00:18:09,728
laced with hip-hop karaoke.
402
00:18:09,830 --> 00:18:12,123
Add a dash of
late-night loitering
403
00:18:12,124 --> 00:18:15,582
and a splash of petty vandalism.
And what have you got?
404
00:18:15,584 --> 00:18:17,116
(SQUEALS) Stewart...
405
00:18:17,118 --> 00:18:21,550
Utopia, Arcadia,
406
00:18:23,594 --> 00:18:25,533
Kingdom come!
407
00:18:26,597 --> 00:18:29,056
Devon hated petty vandalism.
408
00:18:29,057 --> 00:18:31,022
He called it two-bit.
409
00:18:31,024 --> 00:18:33,416
Shabby. Shoestring.
410
00:18:33,418 --> 00:18:35,504
Mmm, hence the term, "petty," Roald.
411
00:18:36,255 --> 00:18:38,048
Don't be redundant.
412
00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:39,566
But you're right,
413
00:18:40,436 --> 00:18:41,750
he did hate that.
414
00:18:43,822 --> 00:18:45,531
This was his.
415
00:18:45,532 --> 00:18:47,166
Verify.
416
00:18:48,660 --> 00:18:49,952
Yeah.
417
00:18:49,953 --> 00:18:51,329
Yes.
418
00:18:51,330 --> 00:18:55,018
You got it the summer before
grade six at a Sidewalk Sale Day.
419
00:18:55,020 --> 00:18:56,445
Went halfsies on it.
420
00:18:56,447 --> 00:18:58,516
Veracious. And this?
421
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:05,843
- Roald, substantiate!
- Yes.
422
00:19:05,844 --> 00:19:08,061
You stole it from his grandma
so you could game
423
00:19:08,063 --> 00:19:10,932
Ecco the Dolphin on Sega CD
in grade three.
424
00:19:10,933 --> 00:19:12,483
Irrefutable.
425
00:19:14,714 --> 00:19:15,714
Well,
426
00:19:17,571 --> 00:19:18,995
I guess
427
00:19:19,302 --> 00:19:20,720
he didn't take all
428
00:19:21,563 --> 00:19:23,366
of his stuff,
429
00:19:24,223 --> 00:19:26,071
now, did he?
430
00:19:26,073 --> 00:19:27,766
(GASPING)
431
00:19:38,126 --> 00:19:40,170
Fuck me, that was refreshing.
432
00:19:41,797 --> 00:19:43,093
Incoming!
433
00:19:43,095 --> 00:19:44,597
(YELPS IN FEAR)
434
00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:48,262
Stink bombs?
435
00:19:49,972 --> 00:19:52,266
(SCREAMING)
436
00:19:54,430 --> 00:19:55,683
Devon.
437
00:19:58,964 --> 00:20:01,212
Fuck, she looks friendly
as a couch, ain't she, boys?
438
00:20:01,214 --> 00:20:03,693
Went up faster than shit
through a goose, too.
439
00:20:03,694 --> 00:20:04,741
Lickety-split.
440
00:20:04,743 --> 00:20:06,779
Real nice of Tyson and
Joint Boys to help us out.
441
00:20:06,780 --> 00:20:08,716
More hands make less work.
442
00:20:10,033 --> 00:20:11,951
ALL: Welp...
443
00:20:11,952 --> 00:20:13,666
Fire up the genny, Gary.
444
00:20:21,295 --> 00:20:23,255
(ENGINE SPUTTERING)
445
00:20:26,383 --> 00:20:28,719
Now test out the motion sensor, Dan.
446
00:20:34,099 --> 00:20:36,309
- Boss, man...
- I appreciates this.
447
00:20:36,310 --> 00:20:37,727
Aw, it's tits.
448
00:20:37,728 --> 00:20:40,771
- Well, there's one step left.
- Yeah!
449
00:20:41,006 --> 00:20:42,549
- Christen it?
- Should we christen it?
450
00:20:42,551 --> 00:20:44,600
- Well, are we gonna christen it?
- Should we christen it?
451
00:20:44,601 --> 00:20:45,941
I feel like we should be
christening it.
452
00:20:45,942 --> 00:20:48,730
Well, I'm surprised we're not
christening it right now.
453
00:20:55,204 --> 00:20:58,206
- Gordie Howe hat trick, ferda.
- Game puck goes to Gordie.
454
00:20:58,207 --> 00:21:00,082
Yeah. I had 18 shots
on net, boys.
455
00:21:00,083 --> 00:21:01,292
Ovechkin numbers.
456
00:21:01,293 --> 00:21:02,919
Played no less than 38 minutes.
457
00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:04,378
Duncan Keith numbers.
458
00:21:04,379 --> 00:21:07,465
But, uh, 9-4 ferda.
459
00:21:07,466 --> 00:21:09,550
Ferda other team.
460
00:21:09,551 --> 00:21:12,011
You know, it's sick, unreal stats.
461
00:21:12,012 --> 00:21:13,513
But, uh...
462
00:21:13,514 --> 00:21:16,057
Be nice to have a couple of W's, too.
463
00:21:16,058 --> 00:21:17,933
Be nice to have "a" W.
464
00:21:18,477 --> 00:21:20,061
Players only meeting?
465
00:21:20,565 --> 00:21:23,397
Yeah. Coach is right, I mean,
no W's on the season that's just...
466
00:21:23,398 --> 00:21:26,067
- Fucking embarrassing!
- Coach.
467
00:21:26,068 --> 00:21:28,110
Players only meeting.
468
00:21:28,111 --> 00:21:30,566
Oh. Well, that's embarrassing.
469
00:21:37,656 --> 00:21:39,365
Jesus.
470
00:21:39,748 --> 00:21:42,679
All right you pheasants,
what's the problem?
471
00:21:42,681 --> 00:21:43,883
Spill it, pheasys.
472
00:21:43,885 --> 00:21:45,962
My wife left me, you little bitch!
473
00:21:45,963 --> 00:21:48,560
Feels like someone ran a coarse
glove hustle on my love muscle.
474
00:21:48,561 --> 00:21:49,674
Yorkie?
475
00:21:49,675 --> 00:21:50,867
Same, Barts.
476
00:21:50,869 --> 00:21:52,986
Feels like someone
fork-gored my pork sword.
477
00:21:52,987 --> 00:21:54,095
Scholtzy?
478
00:21:54,096 --> 00:21:55,680
She's gone.
479
00:21:55,681 --> 00:21:59,020
Feels like someone took
a big snackers on my little knackers.
480
00:21:59,022 --> 00:22:00,188
Pussy.
481
00:22:00,190 --> 00:22:01,268
Fisky.
482
00:22:01,497 --> 00:22:02,789
Out the door.
483
00:22:02,791 --> 00:22:04,537
Feels like someone
slammed a super soccer kick
484
00:22:04,538 --> 00:22:06,395
into my Ron-Donny long schlong.
485
00:22:06,396 --> 00:22:07,441
Boomtown!
486
00:22:07,442 --> 00:22:09,443
I'm an only child,
487
00:22:09,444 --> 00:22:13,072
as Coach previously and
pitilessly pointed out.
488
00:22:13,073 --> 00:22:17,050
I'd kill for a little
Natiesha, Tamsyn, Tay' Rhonda,
489
00:22:17,052 --> 00:22:19,450
DeSondra, LarawnShawn, in my life.
490
00:22:19,997 --> 00:22:24,250
But someone did steal my last
NASCAR Daytona Oreo!
491
00:22:24,251 --> 00:22:26,210
That wasn't funny!
492
00:22:26,211 --> 00:22:29,046
But, you all love your wives.
493
00:22:29,047 --> 00:22:30,924
- What happened, boys?
- (DOOR OPENS)
494
00:22:33,177 --> 00:22:35,136
- BOTH: Angie?
- Boys.
495
00:22:35,137 --> 00:22:36,637
Unreal game.
496
00:22:36,638 --> 00:22:39,640
Who wants to take me out for a sando?
497
00:22:39,641 --> 00:22:41,310
I'll let you work it out.
498
00:22:44,011 --> 00:22:45,354
BOTH: Angie?
499
00:22:45,355 --> 00:22:47,523
That's my girl, you little bitch.
500
00:22:47,524 --> 00:22:49,817
She makes me want to rub
slick on my disco stick.
501
00:22:49,818 --> 00:22:50,818
Yorkie?
502
00:22:50,819 --> 00:22:52,445
Correction, Barts. She's mine.
503
00:22:52,446 --> 00:22:53,821
She makes me wanna go Warcraft
504
00:22:53,822 --> 00:22:55,226
all over my man shaft.
505
00:22:55,227 --> 00:22:56,282
Scholtzy.
506
00:22:56,283 --> 00:22:57,586
Mine.
507
00:22:57,588 --> 00:23:01,162
She makes me wanna take
a low fiver to my deep-V diver.
508
00:23:01,163 --> 00:23:02,421
Pussy.
509
00:23:02,423 --> 00:23:03,581
Fisky?
510
00:23:03,582 --> 00:23:05,371
Uh-uh. She's mine.
511
00:23:05,373 --> 00:23:08,085
She makes me wanna take a
fresh fruit to my flesh flute.
512
00:23:08,086 --> 00:23:09,253
Boomtown!
513
00:23:09,254 --> 00:23:11,423
You all have sisters.
514
00:23:12,299 --> 00:23:13,833
I hope you're kind to them.
515
00:23:14,964 --> 00:23:16,590
I hope you cherish them.
516
00:23:17,638 --> 00:23:19,306
This one's mine!
517
00:23:20,098 --> 00:23:21,666
(GRUNTING)
518
00:23:22,184 --> 00:23:23,476
This is bad, buddy.
519
00:23:23,478 --> 00:23:25,437
This is really bad, buddy.
520
00:23:25,439 --> 00:23:27,482
I think we've got...
521
00:23:27,648 --> 00:23:29,400
BOTH: A puck bunny.
522
00:23:43,692 --> 00:23:46,155
DAN: It looks darker out here
than the inside of a fuel tank.
523
00:23:46,157 --> 00:23:48,033
Head towards the sensor light, Dan.
524
00:23:54,136 --> 00:23:56,187
I don't appreciates this.
525
00:23:56,189 --> 00:23:57,350
Well,
526
00:23:57,935 --> 00:23:59,735
how we gonna fuck this pig?
527
00:23:59,926 --> 00:24:01,969
We find who did it.
528
00:24:04,059 --> 00:24:05,602
And we beat the shit out of them.
529
00:24:05,603 --> 00:24:07,603
Subtitle by peritta
530
00:24:07,653 --> 00:24:12,203
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