All language subtitles for Letterkenny s01e02 Super Soft Birthday.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,699 --> 00:00:08,699 subtitle by peritta 2 00:00:08,700 --> 00:00:11,532 You heard a couple nut sacks talkin' about hockey the other day... 3 00:00:11,533 --> 00:00:13,532 - This kid. - Kid is a fuckin' stud. 4 00:00:13,533 --> 00:00:15,699 - Kid's a fuckin' beauty. - Fuckin' look at this kid. 5 00:00:15,700 --> 00:00:16,866 Fuckin' love this kid. 6 00:00:16,867 --> 00:00:18,866 - Kid lights lamp. - Hashtag lamp life. 7 00:00:18,867 --> 00:00:20,150 Eat, sleep, lamp. 8 00:00:20,322 --> 00:00:21,866 Don't give him too much space, buddy. He'll dangle. 9 00:00:21,867 --> 00:00:23,699 He'll dangle all the fuckin' way to outer space. 10 00:00:23,700 --> 00:00:25,532 Suck some Martian titties up there, boys. 11 00:00:25,533 --> 00:00:28,199 Just getting super sloppy all over our space dinks. 12 00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:30,338 Silky mittens, top tittens. Ferda boys. 13 00:00:30,340 --> 00:00:32,119 - Ferda! - Ferda! 14 00:00:32,121 --> 00:00:34,532 Big roadie to the big city this weekend, Schmelt. 15 00:00:34,533 --> 00:00:35,699 Do you know what that means? 16 00:00:35,700 --> 00:00:36,866 Um... 17 00:00:36,867 --> 00:00:37,866 Suckin' city titty, idiot. 18 00:00:37,867 --> 00:00:39,532 Suckin' all that big city titty, idiot. 19 00:00:39,533 --> 00:00:41,199 All up that big city slam piece. 20 00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:42,866 Big city slams, idiot. 21 00:00:42,867 --> 00:00:45,532 Big city billet moms. Big city billet sisters. 22 00:00:45,533 --> 00:00:46,866 Let's get our dinks sucked on, boys. 23 00:00:46,867 --> 00:00:48,100 Yes. 24 00:00:49,700 --> 00:00:51,366 Hey, how's school going, Schmelt? 25 00:00:51,367 --> 00:00:53,699 - It's going... - Just kidding. We don't give a fuck. 26 00:00:53,700 --> 00:00:55,199 Get our pops, Schmelt. 27 00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:57,267 Big city slams, Schmelt. 28 00:00:59,033 --> 00:01:02,100 (IMITATING AIR HORN) 29 00:01:18,367 --> 00:01:19,699 - How are ya now? - Not so bad. 30 00:01:19,700 --> 00:01:20,933 Good and you? 31 00:01:21,700 --> 00:01:23,075 Not too bad. 32 00:01:23,590 --> 00:01:24,798 Have you shit yourself? 33 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:26,158 You look like you've got an awkward boner. 34 00:01:27,590 --> 00:01:29,422 - Don't. - Don't what? 35 00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:30,922 Dan? 36 00:01:30,923 --> 00:01:32,589 Did you know that Daryl used to get boners every morning 37 00:01:32,590 --> 00:01:34,323 in grade nine during O Canada? 38 00:01:34,590 --> 00:01:36,418 No shit. 39 00:01:36,420 --> 00:01:37,386 Yep. 40 00:01:37,388 --> 00:01:40,490 Just could not get through O Canada without getting a boner. 41 00:01:40,757 --> 00:01:43,756 Give a young man 30 idle seconds and he's gonna get a boner. 42 00:01:43,757 --> 00:01:44,793 We talked about this. 43 00:01:44,795 --> 00:01:46,533 Is there something you want to talk about now? 44 00:01:46,535 --> 00:01:49,556 Well, I was wondering if this year we could skip the birthday party? 45 00:01:49,557 --> 00:01:52,360 Skip your super soft birthday party? Are you fuckin' high? 46 00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:53,389 Hard no. 47 00:01:53,390 --> 00:01:55,591 DAN: Daryl's super soft birthday party? 48 00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:57,822 Every year, Daryl's mom used to throw him 49 00:01:57,822 --> 00:01:59,270 these birthday parties when he was a kid. 50 00:01:59,272 --> 00:02:01,056 Softest birthday party on planet Earth. 51 00:02:01,057 --> 00:02:03,722 Boy band karaoke, cupcake decoration station, 52 00:02:03,723 --> 00:02:05,389 charcuterie. 53 00:02:05,390 --> 00:02:09,056 One year, his mom had him a "Make the world a better place" party. 54 00:02:09,057 --> 00:02:11,389 One year they dressed a horse up like a unicorn 55 00:02:11,390 --> 00:02:13,290 and he was never really the same after that. 56 00:02:13,557 --> 00:02:14,889 It's not funny. 57 00:02:14,890 --> 00:02:16,889 I used to take a lot of teasing in school for those. 58 00:02:16,890 --> 00:02:19,556 Aw, should I get you a tissue, Sally? 59 00:02:19,557 --> 00:02:21,722 No, he'll have one in his purse. 60 00:02:21,723 --> 00:02:23,556 Or maybe his clutch. 61 00:02:23,557 --> 00:02:26,123 Party's happening, Daryl. You don't fuck with tradition. 62 00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:33,109 DAN: So. The agenda. 63 00:02:33,110 --> 00:02:36,276 After your dust up over the weekend, safe to assume you're fighting again? 64 00:02:36,277 --> 00:02:38,609 - Co-rect. - Ten-four, good buddy. 65 00:02:38,610 --> 00:02:41,442 Well, it's gonna be a busy week 'cause there's a few guys walking around town 66 00:02:41,443 --> 00:02:43,442 claiming to be the toughest guys in Letterkenny. 67 00:02:43,443 --> 00:02:45,276 I'm the toughest guy in Letterkenny. 68 00:02:45,277 --> 00:02:48,442 You were the toughest guy in Letterkenny. It's been some time. 69 00:02:48,443 --> 00:02:49,733 Now, it's safe to assume that 70 00:02:49,735 --> 00:02:52,108 that title is as important to you now as it was then? 71 00:02:52,110 --> 00:02:53,776 Does a duck with a boner drag weeds? 72 00:02:53,777 --> 00:02:55,609 Ten-four, good buddy! 73 00:02:55,610 --> 00:02:56,875 Then it's safe to assume 74 00:02:56,877 --> 00:02:58,608 that the challengers will be coming up around the farm, 75 00:02:58,610 --> 00:03:00,904 as that is how you've conducted business in the past. 76 00:03:00,906 --> 00:03:02,776 Well, I was never one for an audience. 77 00:03:02,777 --> 00:03:04,942 All right, let's talk about the challengers. 78 00:03:04,943 --> 00:03:06,776 First up, we've got Sled Ted. 79 00:03:06,777 --> 00:03:07,820 Why's he called Sled Ted? 80 00:03:07,822 --> 00:03:11,442 Well, he likes fixin' sleds, and ridin' sleds, 81 00:03:11,443 --> 00:03:13,395 and talkin' about sleds. 82 00:03:13,500 --> 00:03:15,166 He just really likes sleddin', boys. 83 00:03:15,167 --> 00:03:18,166 Uh, he beat up a guy named Basic Jay. 84 00:03:18,167 --> 00:03:19,307 Why's he called Basic Jay? 85 00:03:19,323 --> 00:03:20,999 'Cause he's a fuckin' basic. 86 00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:23,427 DAN: And now he thinks he's the toughest guy in Letterkenny. 87 00:03:23,429 --> 00:03:25,982 After that we have Rat Ass. 88 00:03:25,984 --> 00:03:26,999 Why's he called Rat Ass? 89 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,567 'Cause he's got a hairy ass like a rat. 90 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:31,400 Can confirm. 91 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:35,666 He beat up a guy named Brains. 92 00:03:35,667 --> 00:03:37,832 See, his name's Brian but he spelt it Brain 93 00:03:37,833 --> 00:03:40,166 in the computer at bowling one time. It just kinda stuck. 94 00:03:40,167 --> 00:03:42,999 DAN: Now he thinks he's the toughest guy in Letterkenny. 95 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:45,499 And after that, we got Joint Boy. 96 00:03:45,500 --> 00:03:48,233 Because he smokes lots of joints, Dairy. 97 00:03:50,833 --> 00:03:53,411 Well, just plucking the low hanging fruit is what that is. 98 00:03:53,551 --> 00:03:56,964 I've seen that guy take on four bouncers at the rippers one time. 99 00:03:56,966 --> 00:03:58,666 He is otherworldly. 100 00:03:58,667 --> 00:04:01,499 Got a dome on him like an Easter Island statue. 101 00:04:01,500 --> 00:04:02,900 Is he single? 102 00:04:03,500 --> 00:04:05,054 Not that it matters, I guess. 103 00:04:05,056 --> 00:04:06,146 Look, 104 00:04:06,148 --> 00:04:08,076 keep it at the end of the lane way. 105 00:04:08,078 --> 00:04:09,812 No degens on the property. 106 00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:13,067 - That's a Texas size 10-4. - Over and out. 107 00:04:15,417 --> 00:04:16,749 One time, my cousin... 108 00:04:16,750 --> 00:04:19,249 He tore open his ball sack trying to do a skateboard trick 109 00:04:19,250 --> 00:04:21,007 and he had to show it to his mum. 110 00:04:21,241 --> 00:04:22,789 Was it his scrotal sack? 111 00:04:22,791 --> 00:04:23,867 Well, you know. 112 00:04:23,869 --> 00:04:26,377 That dangly piece of flesh, what hangs down behind the penis. 113 00:04:26,750 --> 00:04:28,582 - Scrotal sack. - The nut sack. 114 00:04:28,583 --> 00:04:31,249 So, he tore his ball sack open trying to do a skateboard trick 115 00:04:31,251 --> 00:04:32,728 and he's gots to show it to his mum 116 00:04:32,730 --> 00:04:34,718 because apparently one of his testicles was showing. 117 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:36,278 Was it the right one or the left one? 118 00:04:36,807 --> 00:04:38,472 Why is that of importance? 119 00:04:38,473 --> 00:04:40,306 Well, because the left one has more sperm in it. 120 00:04:40,307 --> 00:04:41,972 Spermatozoa is what it's called. 121 00:04:41,973 --> 00:04:44,972 Tell you what, if I ripped open my ball sack trying to do a skateboard trick, 122 00:04:44,973 --> 00:04:46,806 I'd be more worried about seeing my vas deferens. 123 00:04:46,807 --> 00:04:48,393 Well, you'd have to tear your ball sack 124 00:04:48,395 --> 00:04:50,555 pretty near wide open doing a skateboard trick 125 00:04:50,557 --> 00:04:52,440 if you wanted to see your own vas deferens. 126 00:04:52,442 --> 00:04:54,582 I'm not sure I wanna see my own vas deferens 127 00:04:54,973 --> 00:04:56,806 I think if I saw my own vas deferens, 128 00:04:56,807 --> 00:04:57,950 I'd be quite worried. 129 00:04:58,330 --> 00:05:00,599 I'd be most worried if I tore my ball sack open 130 00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:02,305 trying to do a skateboard trick 131 00:05:02,307 --> 00:05:04,472 if I could see my accessory glands. 132 00:05:04,473 --> 00:05:08,173 Well, you don't want to go too kooky with accessories on your truck. 133 00:05:08,187 --> 00:05:09,243 Or your jeep. 134 00:05:09,245 --> 00:05:10,515 It's okay with like, a quad, though, 135 00:05:10,517 --> 00:05:14,139 like my buddy Big T's got a snorkel kit on his and that's pretty punk rock. 136 00:05:14,140 --> 00:05:15,472 What's an accessory gland? 137 00:05:15,473 --> 00:05:18,139 Well, if your vas deferens is your sperm ducts, 138 00:05:18,140 --> 00:05:21,366 the accessory glands is what supplies lubricant to the sperm duct. 139 00:05:21,709 --> 00:05:24,639 I think if I ripped open my ball sack trying to do a skateboard trick, 140 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:26,972 I'd be most worried about seeing my seminal vesicles. 141 00:05:26,973 --> 00:05:29,306 Oh, like the Florida State seminal vesicles? 142 00:05:29,307 --> 00:05:31,837 Like the sack that hangs behind your vas deferens 143 00:05:31,839 --> 00:05:33,175 and contains fructose 144 00:05:33,207 --> 00:05:34,872 which is energy for the sperm. 145 00:05:34,873 --> 00:05:37,539 Yeah, it's like when you go in the city there and they got them charge stations 146 00:05:37,540 --> 00:05:40,206 for the people that drive the electric cars. 147 00:05:40,207 --> 00:05:42,773 That's pretty much your seminal vesticles. 148 00:05:45,373 --> 00:05:47,039 I thought it was pretty funny when I said 149 00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:49,940 Florida State seminal vesicles and nobody laughed. 150 00:05:55,074 --> 00:05:57,127 (PHONE RINGING) 151 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:07,226 Hello. 152 00:06:07,227 --> 00:06:09,059 Okay. 153 00:06:09,060 --> 00:06:11,559 End of the lane way. Don't come up the property. 154 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:12,960 Good. 155 00:06:20,393 --> 00:06:21,793 Sled Ted's here. 156 00:07:37,982 --> 00:07:39,967 (MUSIC PLAYING) 157 00:08:15,408 --> 00:08:18,699 Geez, Basic Jay must have been a shit fighter to lose to that ass-hat. 158 00:08:18,700 --> 00:08:21,366 I've known Basic Jay to be a pretty tough dude. 159 00:08:21,367 --> 00:08:23,699 He's not really a fuckin' basic. 160 00:08:23,700 --> 00:08:25,366 Guess he could have had a cold. 161 00:08:25,367 --> 00:08:26,640 Or the flu. 162 00:08:26,742 --> 00:08:28,366 Sled Ted had Bigfoot hands. 163 00:08:28,367 --> 00:08:30,032 Yeah, he's a big grimy brute. 164 00:08:30,033 --> 00:08:31,062 Shit fighter, though. 165 00:08:31,064 --> 00:08:33,620 Well, most likely Rat Ass will be your next dude. 166 00:08:33,727 --> 00:08:35,726 I hear that he is a greaser. 167 00:08:35,899 --> 00:08:36,943 Can confirm. 168 00:08:36,945 --> 00:08:39,297 So fuckin' greasy I almost don't want to. 169 00:08:39,453 --> 00:08:40,664 I saw him with his shirt off, 170 00:08:40,666 --> 00:08:43,142 swimming at the gravel pit not that long ago. 171 00:08:44,060 --> 00:08:46,293 His back acne was extraordinary. 172 00:08:48,727 --> 00:08:50,559 Well, like, extraordinary how? 173 00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:53,392 Well, like, I thought about it for a while after is all. 174 00:08:53,393 --> 00:08:56,059 Well, elaborate, 'cause I'm likely gonna have to touch it. 175 00:08:56,060 --> 00:08:58,793 Well, like how it was cultivated. 176 00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:01,726 WAYNE: Well, by not showering likely. 177 00:09:01,727 --> 00:09:03,279 Likely. 178 00:09:03,281 --> 00:09:05,865 Let's get into some of those fuckin' all dressed chips. 179 00:09:09,809 --> 00:09:11,831 WAYNE: Jesus, Katy, put some fuckin' clothes on. 180 00:09:11,833 --> 00:09:13,666 - Not my forte. - Unfortunate. 181 00:09:13,667 --> 00:09:16,417 Hey, neighbor said he's not gonna give us a horse this year. 182 00:09:16,419 --> 00:09:17,434 What? 183 00:09:17,436 --> 00:09:19,259 Well, he said that last year we returned him 184 00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:20,501 and his breath smelled like alcohol. 185 00:09:20,503 --> 00:09:21,619 Well, it was probably mine. 186 00:09:21,619 --> 00:09:23,498 You could have lit my breath on fire the next day. 187 00:09:23,500 --> 00:09:24,999 Horse was half cut though. 188 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,692 He said that he's gonna give us a donkey. 189 00:09:26,692 --> 00:09:27,736 Nope. 190 00:09:27,738 --> 00:09:28,801 Might be funny. 191 00:09:28,803 --> 00:09:30,830 Gotta be a horse. You don't fuck with tradition. 192 00:09:30,848 --> 00:09:33,299 You're really gonna pump the brakes on a donkey dressed up like a unicorn? 193 00:09:33,301 --> 00:09:34,603 Oh, I'm stompin' the brakes. 194 00:09:34,605 --> 00:09:36,666 You put that idea right through the fuckin' windshield. 195 00:09:36,667 --> 00:09:38,541 But it's a donkey dressed up like a unicorn. 196 00:09:38,543 --> 00:09:39,525 Katy! 197 00:09:39,526 --> 00:09:42,666 Well, it's better than a kick in the pants. 198 00:09:42,667 --> 00:09:45,499 Do you want this to be the softest birthday party ever or not? 199 00:09:45,500 --> 00:09:47,676 I want this just as much as you do. 200 00:09:47,678 --> 00:09:49,499 Well, then find us a horse. 201 00:09:49,665 --> 00:09:50,722 Please and thank you. 202 00:09:51,145 --> 00:09:52,682 And don't stay out in the sun too long. 203 00:09:52,684 --> 00:09:54,268 Your skin will look like an old saddle bag. 204 00:09:54,270 --> 00:09:55,379 Yeah. 205 00:09:55,833 --> 00:09:57,733 (PHONE RINGING) 206 00:09:59,037 --> 00:10:00,762 (PHONE RINGING) 207 00:10:02,663 --> 00:10:03,944 (PHONE RINGING) 208 00:10:06,167 --> 00:10:07,666 Hello. 209 00:10:07,667 --> 00:10:08,999 Okay. 210 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,499 End of the lane way. Don't come up the property. 211 00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:12,733 Good. 212 00:10:21,799 --> 00:10:23,407 Rat Ass is here. 213 00:10:52,413 --> 00:10:53,646 Keep it standing. 214 00:10:54,333 --> 00:10:56,067 This goes to the ground, we stand up. 215 00:10:56,667 --> 00:10:57,999 Okay. 216 00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,332 This goes to a clinch, 217 00:10:59,333 --> 00:11:00,666 we separate. 218 00:11:00,667 --> 00:11:02,524 Great. Let's go! 219 00:11:02,526 --> 00:11:03,926 All right. So, hit me. 220 00:11:05,333 --> 00:11:07,499 Fight him or shut the fuck up. 221 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:08,919 I'll give you a free one. 222 00:11:10,167 --> 00:11:11,733 What the fuck is this? 223 00:11:11,833 --> 00:11:12,999 Let's fuckin' do this. 224 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,567 Just fuckin' square off. 225 00:11:38,667 --> 00:11:40,499 WAYNE: Hey! He's pulling hair, he's pulling hair. 226 00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:42,166 Break 'em up, break 'em up. 227 00:11:42,167 --> 00:11:43,332 Come on, come on! 228 00:11:43,333 --> 00:11:46,067 DAN: I'm gonna clock this shitty wolverine. 229 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,233 (YELLING) 230 00:11:56,167 --> 00:11:58,567 Hit me. Come on. I love pain. 231 00:12:25,900 --> 00:12:29,732 - Look at the execution, boys. - Look at the hustle, boys. 232 00:12:29,733 --> 00:12:30,899 Ding. 233 00:12:30,900 --> 00:12:32,566 You guys made the liquor run, right? 234 00:12:32,567 --> 00:12:35,485 - I was Donny Drives the car. - I was Nicki Navigates. 235 00:12:35,567 --> 00:12:37,304 But, uh... 236 00:12:37,351 --> 00:12:39,566 We couldn't find a lot of the stuff on the list. 237 00:12:39,668 --> 00:12:41,234 - Yeah. - Like what? 238 00:12:41,733 --> 00:12:43,300 Uh, well... 239 00:12:44,306 --> 00:12:46,972 Uh, there's ingredients 240 00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:49,088 that I don't think you can get in Letterkenny. 241 00:12:49,090 --> 00:12:50,090 Yeah. 242 00:12:50,183 --> 00:12:51,375 So, go to the city. 243 00:12:52,017 --> 00:12:53,682 Yeah, but we got practice in a couple of hours. 244 00:12:53,683 --> 00:12:55,849 We're gonna crush a couple sandos before, too. 245 00:12:55,850 --> 00:12:57,108 Grab some nappies, maybe? 246 00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,738 We haven't had our pre-game naps either. 247 00:12:58,740 --> 00:13:01,182 - Nappies are nappies. Ferda. - Ferda. 248 00:13:01,183 --> 00:13:02,849 Well, we need everything on the list. 249 00:13:02,850 --> 00:13:05,270 So, what drinks do you need ingredients for? 250 00:13:05,614 --> 00:13:06,871 Uh, 251 00:13:07,183 --> 00:13:09,349 Corebelo Love Potion. 252 00:13:09,350 --> 00:13:12,016 Uh, Purple Passion Punch. 253 00:13:12,017 --> 00:13:13,767 Lemon Gingerini. 254 00:13:14,183 --> 00:13:17,349 Apricot Toblerone Cocktail. 255 00:13:17,350 --> 00:13:19,184 Couldn't find a Flirtini. 256 00:13:19,517 --> 00:13:22,491 Couldn't find Sparkling Mango Sorbet Float. 257 00:13:23,139 --> 00:13:25,706 Don't... Don't know really what that is. 258 00:13:26,517 --> 00:13:27,977 Well, that's all of them. 259 00:13:28,350 --> 00:13:30,341 - Ye... Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah. 260 00:13:30,683 --> 00:13:33,122 Look, I have about a million things to do if this 261 00:13:33,124 --> 00:13:35,509 is gonna be the softest birthday party ever. 262 00:13:36,017 --> 00:13:38,349 If you guys don't get me everything on the list, 263 00:13:38,350 --> 00:13:40,583 you'll be pulling each other's horns from now on. 264 00:13:40,886 --> 00:13:42,453 (PHONE BEEPS) 265 00:13:43,364 --> 00:13:44,942 Pitter-patter! 266 00:13:45,709 --> 00:13:46,763 (BOTH GROANING) 267 00:13:46,765 --> 00:13:48,115 So far! 268 00:14:01,067 --> 00:14:03,822 Big fuckin' day, Dairy. Big fuckin' day! 269 00:14:03,824 --> 00:14:04,978 - Big fuckin' day! - Ow. 270 00:14:04,980 --> 00:14:06,420 Happy birthday, it's your special day Dairy. 271 00:14:06,422 --> 00:14:07,732 DAN: Birthday beats! Birthday beats! 272 00:14:07,733 --> 00:14:11,232 - Ow. - Oh, that's not polite, Katy. 273 00:14:11,233 --> 00:14:12,644 You really are a Sally. 274 00:14:12,646 --> 00:14:13,998 That's the most action I've seen 275 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,968 since I gave the dairy cows' teats a good scrubbin'. 276 00:14:16,246 --> 00:14:17,411 I don't need to know that. 277 00:14:17,424 --> 00:14:19,283 You're pretty good at wrestling there, Katy, 278 00:14:19,285 --> 00:14:21,232 and that's what I appreciates about you. 279 00:14:21,383 --> 00:14:23,382 Is that what you appreciate about me? 280 00:14:23,383 --> 00:14:25,882 Let's go easy over there, squirrelly Dan. 281 00:14:25,883 --> 00:14:28,549 Yeah. Oh, hey, look at you, ground. 282 00:14:28,550 --> 00:14:30,549 So, tell me about this guy, Joint Boy. 283 00:14:30,550 --> 00:14:33,049 Well, I'm not gonna sugar coats it for you, Wayne. 284 00:14:33,050 --> 00:14:36,190 This guy looks like an Australian rugbies player, chiseled out of stones. 285 00:14:36,317 --> 00:14:37,988 Got this big entourage of guys, 286 00:14:37,990 --> 00:14:41,130 bald-headed, bearded dudes what looks like a whole bunch of surly uncles. 287 00:14:41,147 --> 00:14:42,174 You think we should call The Ginger? 288 00:14:42,176 --> 00:14:43,604 Mmm. 289 00:14:45,953 --> 00:14:47,119 No. 290 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:48,786 DARYL: Why not? He's tougher than hell. 291 00:14:48,787 --> 00:14:50,187 WAYNE: Yeah, but... 292 00:14:52,412 --> 00:14:54,645 Well, like you heard he fucked an ostrich, right? 293 00:14:56,831 --> 00:14:58,064 He what? 294 00:14:59,180 --> 00:15:00,413 He fucked an ostrich. 295 00:15:00,847 --> 00:15:02,265 Allegedly. 296 00:15:02,847 --> 00:15:05,179 How does a fella get caught up in that sort of business? 297 00:15:05,180 --> 00:15:08,179 Well, I guess his cousin 298 00:15:08,180 --> 00:15:10,136 had an ostrich farm 299 00:15:10,847 --> 00:15:13,179 when he thought it might be fun to fuck one. 300 00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:14,346 Allegedly. 301 00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:15,694 So, he got hard 302 00:15:16,513 --> 00:15:17,979 somehow 303 00:15:18,847 --> 00:15:20,580 and he fucked an ostrich. 304 00:15:23,197 --> 00:15:24,346 That's fucked. 305 00:15:24,347 --> 00:15:25,913 That's a felony. 306 00:15:48,247 --> 00:15:51,079 Dairy. Hey, Dairy. 307 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:52,746 This one's for you. 308 00:15:52,747 --> 00:15:53,813 Oh. 309 00:15:55,413 --> 00:15:56,647 DARYL: Hey, Joint Boy's here. 310 00:16:07,876 --> 00:16:09,776 Which one of youse is Wayne? 311 00:16:13,413 --> 00:16:15,313 We got some business. 312 00:16:30,933 --> 00:16:33,432 You had yourself a scrap the other weekend at Modean's. 313 00:16:33,433 --> 00:16:35,266 What's it to ya? 314 00:16:35,267 --> 00:16:37,667 You left the dude pretty banged up. 315 00:16:40,020 --> 00:16:41,020 We done talking? 316 00:17:54,137 --> 00:17:57,703 You wanna come to a super soft birthday party? 317 00:18:08,470 --> 00:18:10,703 Happy birthday, Dairy. 318 00:18:11,970 --> 00:18:14,802 It's really more for them, ain't it? 319 00:18:14,803 --> 00:18:16,302 What is? 320 00:18:16,303 --> 00:18:17,537 DAN: All this. 321 00:18:19,717 --> 00:18:21,883 - No, it's not. It's cream cheese. - No. 322 00:18:21,885 --> 00:18:23,003 That's cream cheese. 323 00:18:23,005 --> 00:18:24,739 - No. - Yeah, that's cream cheese. 324 00:18:25,470 --> 00:18:26,636 Just go... 325 00:18:26,637 --> 00:18:28,066 Jesus! 326 00:18:28,068 --> 00:18:30,636 You remember they weren't allowed to have birthday parties growing up. 327 00:18:30,637 --> 00:18:32,302 They had to go bucky at mine. 328 00:18:32,303 --> 00:18:34,969 DAN: All they do is go alls out, don'ts they? 329 00:18:34,970 --> 00:18:37,037 DARYL: That's a Texas size 10-4. 330 00:18:38,303 --> 00:18:40,802 You know, if Joint Boy and his pals hadn't showed up, 331 00:18:40,803 --> 00:18:43,203 I figure this would have been the softest birthday ever. 332 00:18:43,970 --> 00:18:46,969 That's a small victory for you, I suppose. 333 00:18:46,970 --> 00:18:48,636 I was worried. 334 00:18:48,637 --> 00:18:51,136 Thought I might have to get Stewart and the Skids to come over here and start 335 00:18:51,137 --> 00:18:53,469 hoovering up that white powder of theirs. 336 00:18:53,470 --> 00:18:55,733 DARYL: Anything for a little bit of an edge, am I right? 337 00:18:55,735 --> 00:18:57,136 DAN: The white stuff. 338 00:18:57,137 --> 00:18:58,469 The snooter. 339 00:18:58,470 --> 00:19:00,302 The devil's dandruff. 340 00:19:00,303 --> 00:19:01,969 The dander. 341 00:19:01,970 --> 00:19:06,203 I... I hoovered up a bit of the schneef in my day. 342 00:19:06,946 --> 00:19:09,445 You ever hoovered barnyard schneef? 343 00:19:09,447 --> 00:19:12,779 I've hoovered behind the manure pile schneef. 344 00:19:12,803 --> 00:19:15,166 You ever hoovered schneef off a sleeping cow's spine? 345 00:19:15,168 --> 00:19:18,370 I've hoovered schneef off of an awake cow's teat. 346 00:19:20,867 --> 00:19:23,302 What are the odds that I ride him home bareback? 347 00:19:23,512 --> 00:19:25,178 Gonna hurt your balls, bro. 348 00:19:25,180 --> 00:19:26,580 Good going. 349 00:19:28,303 --> 00:19:29,870 Oh, yeah. 350 00:19:31,990 --> 00:19:33,989 You ever hoovered library schneef? 351 00:19:33,991 --> 00:19:35,777 I've hoovered schneef off of the cover of 352 00:19:35,779 --> 00:19:38,829 Gordon Korman's This Can't Be Happening at Macdonald Hall. 353 00:19:39,970 --> 00:19:41,480 You wanna come home with me? 354 00:19:41,970 --> 00:19:43,677 You can sleep in my bed. 355 00:19:43,970 --> 00:19:46,302 - He'd break it. - He'd break your bed. 356 00:19:46,303 --> 00:19:47,802 His dick alone would break your bed. 357 00:19:47,803 --> 00:19:49,400 - I saw that too. - I... Yeah. 358 00:19:49,402 --> 00:19:50,635 It was really big. 359 00:19:51,303 --> 00:19:52,870 (PHONE BEEPING) 360 00:19:53,803 --> 00:19:55,537 (PHONE BEEPING) 361 00:19:57,803 --> 00:19:59,537 (PHONE BEEPING) 362 00:20:07,137 --> 00:20:08,802 You ever hoovered Sunday school schneef? 363 00:20:08,803 --> 00:20:12,370 I've hoovered schneef off the collection plate in the rectory. 364 00:20:13,470 --> 00:20:15,370 Do you know what dick dingers are? 365 00:20:20,723 --> 00:20:21,956 Yep. 366 00:20:22,970 --> 00:20:24,852 You know that movie 367 00:20:24,854 --> 00:20:26,969 with the guy who whispers to horses. 368 00:20:26,970 --> 00:20:29,037 Brokeback Mountain? 369 00:20:29,470 --> 00:20:30,895 - No. - No. 370 00:20:31,303 --> 00:20:33,636 DARYL: That's the toughest guy in Letterkenny. 371 00:20:33,637 --> 00:20:35,203 (BLOWING PARTY WHISTLE) 372 00:20:35,204 --> 00:20:37,204 subtitle by peritta 373 00:20:37,254 --> 00:20:41,804 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 27424

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