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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,760 --> 00:00:03,579 (RUMMAGING, CLATTERING) 2 00:00:03,680 --> 00:00:05,859 (TUTS) I thought I had some left. 3 00:00:05,960 --> 00:00:07,979 Condoms are your department. 4 00:00:08,120 --> 00:00:10,299 - How about we just take our chances? - No. 5 00:00:10,440 --> 00:00:12,859 Do you remember how that ended up last time we did that? 6 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,779 - On the floor? - Uh, she's sleeping upstairs. 7 00:00:15,880 --> 00:00:18,299 Ah. OK, fine. 8 00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:19,938 - OK. OK. - I'll go get some. 9 00:00:25,280 --> 00:00:28,722 G'day, mate. Uh, just a, um... 10 00:00:29,018 --> 00:00:30,237 a packet of, um... 11 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:32,579 uh, the sunscreen. 12 00:00:33,820 --> 00:00:37,739 And, um, the insect... repellent. 13 00:00:38,831 --> 00:00:41,479 I'll get a tracker hat. Sun smart. 14 00:00:43,100 --> 00:00:46,982 And a, uh... three-litre energy drink. 15 00:00:48,217 --> 00:00:50,106 - Yeah. - Is that all? 16 00:00:50,131 --> 00:00:52,136 Just... I might just get a packet of, uh, those, uh... 17 00:00:52,160 --> 00:00:54,339 - Condoms, mate? - Yeah. 18 00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:56,419 Not for me. Just for my, uh... 19 00:00:56,807 --> 00:00:58,986 father... in-law. 20 00:00:59,595 --> 00:01:03,899 Does your father-in-law prefer glow in the dark, ribbed...? 21 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:06,499 Doesn't... Ribbed or glow in the dark. Doesn't... Both. 22 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:07,800 He loves it. 23 00:01:09,216 --> 00:01:10,595 Good-time guy. 24 00:01:10,620 --> 00:01:12,925 Would you like to join our loyalty program? 25 00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:14,839 No. 26 00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:17,379 - (DOOR BANGS) - Shh! 27 00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:26,199 (QUIETLY) I've got pineapple glow in the dark or Bluetooth ribbed. 28 00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:29,139 - Shh. Shh, shh, shh. - Ohh, Chloe. 29 00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:30,340 Yeah. 30 00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:33,839 - Which means hers is free. - No, no, no, Sophie's in there. 31 00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:35,496 - Laundry? - No, I've just put on a load. 32 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:36,720 Oh. 33 00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:41,479 - We need to make changes. - Yeah. Yep. Agree. 34 00:01:41,620 --> 00:01:43,556 - But let's do it in the morning. - OK. 35 00:01:44,220 --> 00:01:45,739 I missed 'em. 36 00:01:46,339 --> 00:01:48,478 They really do glow in the dark. 37 00:01:48,978 --> 00:01:50,528 The truth is out there. 38 00:01:59,234 --> 00:02:01,339 Since I've started work, I... my libido, 39 00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:04,726 it's just dropped like a sack of lead balloons. 40 00:02:05,109 --> 00:02:07,059 Last night, I... 41 00:02:07,616 --> 00:02:10,419 - brought Chloe into our bed. - What? 42 00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:14,859 (SIGHS) I... I'm so tired, and I didn't know what to say to Greg 43 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:17,899 and so I just woke her up and I... and I put her in our bed. 44 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:20,299 Oh, honey. That's not healthy. 45 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:23,479 I want to have sex, we need to have sex, 46 00:02:23,620 --> 00:02:26,106 but I just haven't had anything left in the tank. 47 00:02:26,131 --> 00:02:27,600 I know what you mean. 48 00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:32,450 Last week, Terry and I only had sex four and a half times. 49 00:02:32,762 --> 00:02:35,499 - What's the half? - It's when he... It doesn't matter. 50 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:36,939 Go on. You. 51 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:39,579 I tell you, vasectomies are a game-changer. 52 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:42,539 Trust me. You will never wanna wear another condom again. 53 00:02:42,564 --> 00:02:44,256 - Well, I won't have to. - Well, you won't need to. 54 00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:45,979 - I won't have to. - That's my point. 55 00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:47,280 It's not the point. 56 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:50,139 I bought a whole stack from Costco a couple of years ago. 57 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:51,779 Use them as dishwashing gloves now. 58 00:02:51,920 --> 00:02:54,139 Just don't wanna become one of these married couples 59 00:02:54,164 --> 00:02:55,340 who only have sex like... 60 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:56,559 A couple of times a week? 61 00:02:57,555 --> 00:02:59,214 - A couple? - Yeah. 62 00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:02,393 - So, Terry... - Mm? 63 00:03:02,418 --> 00:03:05,019 how do vasectomies work, exactly? 64 00:03:05,044 --> 00:03:07,529 Ah. Right. So, essentially... 65 00:03:08,693 --> 00:03:11,755 I'll tell you what you need, a near-death experience. 66 00:03:12,005 --> 00:03:13,415 - Really? - Yeah. 67 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:17,339 If you've lost your mojo, you need to stare death in the face. 68 00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:19,860 - You'll be hornier than a teenage toad. - (LAUGHS) 69 00:03:19,906 --> 00:03:21,779 There's whole books written on it, Em. 70 00:03:21,920 --> 00:03:23,656 Why do you think there's so much sex in war zones? 71 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:25,485 There's sex in war zones? 72 00:03:25,510 --> 00:03:28,024 Iraq is practically just one big orgy. 73 00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:34,259 - TERRY: Make way. - MARLO: Mmm! 74 00:03:34,284 --> 00:03:37,479 Good news, everyone, Greg's getting a vasectomy. 75 00:03:37,620 --> 00:03:41,219 Uh... No, no. Thinking of getting a vasectomy. 76 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:43,362 It's not really an appropriate conversation 77 00:03:43,387 --> 00:03:45,336 - to have in front of the... - What's a vasectomy? 78 00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:46,460 (CHUCKLES) 79 00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:48,259 It is a private operation, sweetie, 80 00:03:48,420 --> 00:03:51,699 and that's why it's called a vasecto-me. 81 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:54,619 Well, you have been saying that you're gonna get it done, so... 82 00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:56,859 Well, I just... I haven't had time. 83 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:58,839 You've been saying it for seven years. 84 00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:00,139 Isn't Chloe five? 85 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:02,839 BOTH: Shut up, Brad. 86 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:05,019 GREG: Why would you say that? 87 00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:08,379 But I am... I am serious. We do need to lift our game. 88 00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:10,859 Agreed. Which is why I'm going skydiving. 89 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,699 - Yes! - Cool! 90 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:14,339 Uh, sk-skydiving? 91 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:15,680 - Yeah. - Yeah? 92 00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:18,779 It's gonna restore Em's youthful urges, Greg. 93 00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:21,059 Oh. Is that right? 94 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:24,019 Uh, none of this is over my head, just FYI. 95 00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:25,415 Or mine. LOL. 96 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:27,839 And she's booked in for this afternoon! 97 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:28,923 They had an opening. 98 00:04:28,948 --> 00:04:30,400 Oh, Marlo, I can't this afternoon, 99 00:04:30,425 --> 00:04:32,016 because I've gotta take Chloe to a party. 100 00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:34,745 - Oh, where's the party? - Airport West. 101 00:04:34,776 --> 00:04:36,216 - Perfect! - TERRY: You're in luck, Greg. 102 00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:37,499 Your vasectomy's all booked. 103 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:40,619 My guy, Dr Zhevenko, has a 3:00pm sharp. 104 00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:41,920 Perfect. (CHUCKLES) 105 00:04:42,576 --> 00:04:44,075 Good. 106 00:04:44,100 --> 00:04:45,839 Yep. Good. 107 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:51,959 Mummy, are you scared the parachute won't open? 108 00:04:52,100 --> 00:04:55,479 Oh, sweetheart! They always, always do. 109 00:04:55,580 --> 00:04:58,195 I will be absolutely fine. 110 00:04:58,220 --> 00:04:59,420 Hello! 111 00:04:59,751 --> 00:05:04,519 Hi! Hi. Um, I'm Sally. You must be Em and Chloe. 112 00:05:04,620 --> 00:05:06,079 (HORN BEEPS) 113 00:05:06,220 --> 00:05:08,880 Come on, Em! You're gonna miss the take-off! 114 00:05:08,905 --> 00:05:10,359 Death waits for no-one! 115 00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:12,679 (LAUGHS AWKWARDLY) Well, I'd better run. 116 00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:14,199 So, have a great time. (KISSES) 117 00:05:14,300 --> 00:05:15,400 Thanks! 118 00:05:15,726 --> 00:05:20,345 Dad's getting his penis cut off, so Mum's jumping out of a plane. 119 00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:23,879 Bye! 120 00:05:25,020 --> 00:05:27,679 How do you know a guy, Terry? I mean, who has a vasectomy guy? 121 00:05:27,780 --> 00:05:29,119 Dr Zhevenko. 122 00:05:29,606 --> 00:05:30,945 He's done all of mine. 123 00:05:30,970 --> 00:05:31,860 ALL of yours? 124 00:05:31,861 --> 00:05:33,879 Three vasectomies, two reversals. 125 00:05:34,020 --> 00:05:35,636 My balls have forgiven me for many things, 126 00:05:35,660 --> 00:05:37,706 but being indecisive is not one of them. 127 00:05:37,731 --> 00:05:39,572 Oh, this is a bad idea. 128 00:05:39,597 --> 00:05:42,599 Hey, if Terry says his guy's the best, then he's the best. 129 00:05:42,700 --> 00:05:44,039 Thank you, Bradley. 130 00:05:44,180 --> 00:05:46,359 Rumour has it he's the only doctor in the world 131 00:05:46,384 --> 00:05:48,159 - to reverse a circumcision. - Jesus! 132 00:05:48,260 --> 00:05:50,819 Not Jesus. Jesus kept his. 133 00:05:50,940 --> 00:05:53,519 MARLO: (LAUGHS) It's going to be great! 134 00:05:53,620 --> 00:05:55,199 Yes. It is. It's just what we need. 135 00:05:55,340 --> 00:05:58,159 My libido is gonna go from zero to hero. 136 00:05:58,300 --> 00:06:00,919 - Yes! Em's bringing sexy back! - Yeah! 137 00:06:01,060 --> 00:06:03,639 Hey, do you want us to take the kids tonight, 138 00:06:03,664 --> 00:06:05,684 so you and Greg can... you know, 139 00:06:05,709 --> 00:06:07,559 take his one-eyed snake to the optometrist? 140 00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:10,959 (CHUCKLES) Download the next episode of Game of Bones. 141 00:06:11,060 --> 00:06:12,060 (LAUGHS) 142 00:06:12,140 --> 00:06:15,539 Oh, I'm jumping out of a plane! 143 00:06:15,660 --> 00:06:18,679 You wanna make a little video? Just in case... you know. 144 00:06:18,820 --> 00:06:22,531 - In case what? - Well, you know. Just in case... 145 00:06:22,556 --> 00:06:26,319 "Oh! There's no chute in this pack! I've made a terrible choice!" 146 00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:28,809 Why are you saying this to me now? 147 00:06:28,834 --> 00:06:30,599 Oh, it's just a precaution. 148 00:06:30,740 --> 00:06:33,940 I make farewell videos on my iPhone all the time. 149 00:06:33,965 --> 00:06:35,519 - Really? - Yeah. 150 00:06:35,660 --> 00:06:39,340 Before I ever get on a boat, before I had my tonsils out, 151 00:06:39,426 --> 00:06:43,239 before Terry and I had sex for the first time in the open-range zoo. 152 00:06:43,380 --> 00:06:45,239 - You did that? - Yeah. 153 00:06:45,285 --> 00:06:47,839 That's what I'm talking about. Near-death experience, Em. 154 00:06:47,980 --> 00:06:50,236 The meerkats' eyes nearly popped out of their little heads. 155 00:06:50,260 --> 00:06:52,459 - Oh, God. I bet they did. - SOPHIE: Mum. 156 00:06:53,992 --> 00:06:56,331 My battery's dead. Do you have a charger? 157 00:06:58,648 --> 00:07:00,236 How long was your battery dead there for, Soph? 158 00:07:00,260 --> 00:07:03,879 Long enough. And I never want to go to an open-range zoo. 159 00:07:06,112 --> 00:07:08,199 TERRY: So where have you kept your reserves? 160 00:07:08,340 --> 00:07:10,116 I keep mine in a tub behind the Frosty Fruits. 161 00:07:10,140 --> 00:07:11,579 My reserves? 162 00:07:11,660 --> 00:07:13,279 Your man jam, Greggy boy. 163 00:07:13,420 --> 00:07:15,959 Oh, please tell me you've frozen some sperm. 164 00:07:16,060 --> 00:07:17,399 Why would I do that? 165 00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:19,679 Well, because, Captain Obvious, 166 00:07:19,820 --> 00:07:23,146 what happens if Em decides that she wants more rugrats? 167 00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:25,679 Uh, trust me, not gonna happen. 168 00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:28,119 Well, what about the time you said you might wanna have a son one day? 169 00:07:28,143 --> 00:07:29,639 Ooh, hello. 170 00:07:29,780 --> 00:07:31,719 - I never said that. - Yes, you did. 171 00:07:31,860 --> 00:07:34,040 Three Christmases ago, in your backyard. 172 00:07:34,065 --> 00:07:35,879 - I remember specifically. - Nup. 173 00:07:35,904 --> 00:07:38,471 You said you hoped you had a boy one day. 174 00:07:38,690 --> 00:07:41,279 You were drinking whisky and peeing into the fire pit. 175 00:07:41,380 --> 00:07:43,346 You told me not to tell Em. 176 00:07:44,140 --> 00:07:45,588 I don't remember any of that. 177 00:07:45,613 --> 00:07:48,705 - What if Em divorces you? - Yeah. Or you become a widower. 178 00:07:48,822 --> 00:07:52,239 I mean, that sort of thing happens more often than not. 179 00:07:52,278 --> 00:07:55,260 - Mm. - Em is jumping out of a plane today. 180 00:07:57,905 --> 00:07:59,184 OK, pull over. 181 00:08:00,260 --> 00:08:03,039 G'day, mate. Just wanna grab a, um... 182 00:08:03,850 --> 00:08:05,389 the, um... 183 00:08:06,376 --> 00:08:07,915 just the... the mints. 184 00:08:08,333 --> 00:08:12,519 And these... dangerously out-of-date energy pills. 185 00:08:12,620 --> 00:08:13,820 (SCANNER BEEPS) 186 00:08:13,900 --> 00:08:16,461 And just... a pen... torch. 187 00:08:18,577 --> 00:08:20,116 (SCANNER BEEPS) 188 00:08:20,304 --> 00:08:22,843 - Is that everything? - Yep. That's the lot. 189 00:08:24,220 --> 00:08:27,599 Can I just grab the, um... that magazine? The one behi... behind you? 190 00:08:27,740 --> 00:08:28,940 - Penthouse? - Yep. 191 00:08:29,020 --> 00:08:31,099 Is that what it's called? Yeah. 192 00:08:31,296 --> 00:08:32,715 Just... 193 00:08:32,965 --> 00:08:35,134 - (SCANNER BEEPS) - And the, um... 194 00:08:35,159 --> 00:08:36,618 the bathroom key? 195 00:08:37,346 --> 00:08:38,839 For your father-in-law? 196 00:08:39,361 --> 00:08:40,561 Yeah. 197 00:08:40,586 --> 00:08:43,564 And he'll need this slushie cup too. 198 00:08:45,263 --> 00:08:46,200 If you're interested, sir, 199 00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:49,159 we do have a new pictorial called Dutch MILFs. 200 00:08:49,300 --> 00:08:52,599 It features heavier-set women primarily in front of windmills. 201 00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:55,067 Sure. Yeah. Yeah. 202 00:08:55,092 --> 00:08:57,191 That's, uh, $44.35. 203 00:08:58,243 --> 00:09:00,396 You realise that if you were part of our loyalty program, sir... 204 00:09:00,420 --> 00:09:03,119 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I know. Just gimme the... key. 205 00:09:03,454 --> 00:09:04,873 Gimme the... 206 00:09:13,900 --> 00:09:16,399 G'day, folks! Welcome to Sky's Limit. 207 00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:17,700 My name's Lenny, 208 00:09:17,820 --> 00:09:20,236 and I'm the bloke who'll be pushing you out of an aeroplane today. 209 00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:21,311 - (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) - (CACKLES) 210 00:09:21,335 --> 00:09:23,399 - Thanks for fitting us in, Lenny! - Oh, no wuckas. 211 00:09:23,500 --> 00:09:24,756 Yeah, we had a few cancellations 212 00:09:24,780 --> 00:09:27,019 due to the negative news articles this week, so... 213 00:09:27,044 --> 00:09:28,239 Negative news? 214 00:09:28,380 --> 00:09:31,359 Oh, we had Australia's oldest man skydive with us last week, 215 00:09:31,460 --> 00:09:34,519 and, uh, let's just say he, uh... 216 00:09:34,620 --> 00:09:35,820 lost his title. 217 00:09:35,940 --> 00:09:37,479 - Oh, God. - Oh. 218 00:09:37,504 --> 00:09:39,999 Oh, relax. I mean, Freddy was 107. 219 00:09:40,100 --> 00:09:41,679 It was a heart attack. 220 00:09:41,780 --> 00:09:43,559 (LAUGHS) See? He was just old. 221 00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:45,599 Probably didn't help that his chute didn't open. 222 00:09:45,624 --> 00:09:47,859 - Oh, God! - I'm just kidding. 223 00:09:47,900 --> 00:09:50,479 - (LAUGHS) I'm just kidding. - (LAUGHS) Lenny! 224 00:09:50,620 --> 00:09:53,679 - You don't need to do this, Mum. - No. 225 00:09:53,820 --> 00:09:58,157 Nup. Now, Soph, your mum is jumping, OK? Aren't you, Em? 226 00:09:58,182 --> 00:10:00,679 You gotta reclaim that mojo, Mrs Butler. 227 00:10:00,780 --> 00:10:02,119 (RETCHES, VOMITS) 228 00:10:02,267 --> 00:10:03,422 Oh! 229 00:10:03,447 --> 00:10:05,519 Try to avoid landing in that on the way down. 230 00:10:05,620 --> 00:10:10,119 CHILDREN: Happy birthday to you. 231 00:10:11,536 --> 00:10:12,800 Yay! 232 00:10:12,825 --> 00:10:16,552 So, now we're going to sing Happy Birthday 233 00:10:16,577 --> 00:10:20,275 to the gorgeous and brave Chloe... 234 00:10:20,300 --> 00:10:21,500 What? 235 00:10:21,540 --> 00:10:22,740 ...whose mummy and daddy 236 00:10:22,741 --> 00:10:25,951 are going through a little bit of a rough patch at the moment. 237 00:10:25,976 --> 00:10:28,999 Happy birthday to you 238 00:10:29,140 --> 00:10:32,319 But my birthday is not even until October. 239 00:10:32,460 --> 00:10:34,459 - Happy birthday... - But, Mum... 240 00:10:34,540 --> 00:10:36,359 Just sing, Tessa! 241 00:10:37,343 --> 00:10:41,959 Happy birthday, dear Chloe 242 00:10:42,060 --> 00:10:46,455 Happy birthday to you. 243 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:47,809 You blow them out. 244 00:10:47,834 --> 00:10:50,675 Freddy's great-great-great-niece, Stephanie, 245 00:10:50,700 --> 00:10:52,934 will be scattering Freddy's ashes with us today, 246 00:10:52,959 --> 00:10:54,879 so I just think that's great, great, great! 247 00:10:54,980 --> 00:10:56,599 Uh... I really don't wanna do this. 248 00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:59,379 I'm actually really afraid of heights. Like, I'm petrified. 249 00:10:59,410 --> 00:11:00,796 - I don't even like piggybacks, or... - (PHONE RINGS) 250 00:11:00,820 --> 00:11:02,959 Oh, better get this. This is the missus. 251 00:11:03,100 --> 00:11:05,879 Probably ringing to wish me a happy birthday... 252 00:11:06,020 --> 00:11:07,120 - Happy birthday. - Oh! 253 00:11:07,140 --> 00:11:08,340 ...for yesterday. 254 00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:12,119 Hi. I'm Em, and I'm jumping. 255 00:11:12,220 --> 00:11:13,420 Stephanie. Hi. 256 00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:15,434 - Oh, this is Freddy. - Oh. 257 00:11:15,459 --> 00:11:18,679 What about the kids?! When did this happen?! I mean, I... 258 00:11:18,820 --> 00:11:21,719 On my birthday? (TEARFULLY) I mean, you tell me this on my birthday? 259 00:11:21,820 --> 00:11:23,801 Can't we just get some counselling? 260 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:26,336 TERRY: Gee, Greg's taking a while. 261 00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:28,099 WOMAN: (ON RADIO) Oh, tune! 262 00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:30,239 Coming up next, we've got Katy K 263 00:11:30,380 --> 00:11:32,959 and we'll be crossing to her live and... 264 00:11:33,100 --> 00:11:36,939 What's the most exotic place that you've ever... you know? 265 00:11:36,964 --> 00:11:40,307 - Weeped the willow. Oh, yeah... - Weeped the willow? 266 00:11:40,377 --> 00:11:43,299 Uh, peeled the bark back, so to speak. 267 00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:46,026 I haven't done much tree lopping, Terry. 268 00:11:46,050 --> 00:11:49,239 No. Like... You know, choked the woodchuck. Uh, uh! 269 00:11:50,220 --> 00:11:51,779 Oh, you mean like... 270 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:53,419 Banged the branch. 271 00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:54,979 (CHUCKLES) Killed the koala. 272 00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:56,299 Uh, what? 273 00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:58,552 That's horrible. Why would you do that? 274 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:01,416 It's a bit of a personal question anyway, isn't it? 275 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:04,099 I mean, what constitutes an exotic place? 276 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:05,659 Kathmandu. 277 00:12:06,024 --> 00:12:08,019 - Nepal. - Westfield's. 278 00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:10,539 I was supposedly sussing out a two-man tent, 279 00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:12,459 but I was actually pitching a one-man. 280 00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:13,819 (LAUGHS) 281 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:15,979 Lorraine, but... Don't hang up. 282 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:17,459 (CRIES) No, don't hang... 283 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:23,739 Yeah. So, where was I? Um... 284 00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:26,972 Today we'll be diving from 13,000 feet. 285 00:12:26,997 --> 00:12:29,539 We're gonna exit the plane when we get over the drop zone 286 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:30,939 and we'll go into freefall. 287 00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:32,419 How long does freefall last? 288 00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:35,019 Oh... Pff! You tell me. 289 00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:37,779 - We'd probably rather you tell us. - Yeah. 290 00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:42,419 My wife of 20 years, Lorraine, just told me that she's leaving me... 291 00:12:43,620 --> 00:12:46,599 for a man she's been writing to in a Miami jail, called Julio. 292 00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:47,979 He's illiterate. 293 00:12:49,008 --> 00:12:52,307 How do you fall in love with a penpal who's illiterate? 294 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:55,299 Yeah. I... I'll see you guys in the plane. 295 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,915 Return this paddle to shit creek, sir. I am done. 296 00:13:00,940 --> 00:13:03,039 - MAN: Drop the paddle now! - (SHRIEKS) 297 00:13:03,281 --> 00:13:05,020 Alright. Give me your wallet. 298 00:13:07,700 --> 00:13:08,900 And the magazine. 299 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,879 Which one, Dutch MILFs or Penthouse? 300 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:12,160 Both! 301 00:13:13,903 --> 00:13:15,642 And the slushie. 302 00:13:16,006 --> 00:13:19,099 You don't want this slushie. It... it's... full... 303 00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:22,059 - It's full of slush. - I need the sugar! 304 00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:24,096 - You don't know... I... - Just give him the slushie! 305 00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:25,320 Shit. 306 00:13:34,910 --> 00:13:36,819 - BRAD: Tickling the tadpole. - (TERRY LAUGHS) 307 00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:38,120 You're on fire. 308 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:40,707 - Burping the badger. - (CHUCKLES) What's going on here? 309 00:13:40,732 --> 00:13:43,299 - Shit. He stole my slushie. - Get another one. 310 00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:44,600 My slushie! 311 00:13:44,601 --> 00:13:46,417 Get Greg to the clinic. 312 00:13:46,964 --> 00:13:48,099 Where are you going? 313 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:49,879 I'm bringing the truth to him! 314 00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:56,761 - Wanna try for another, just in case? - No! No. I'm not 15 anymore. 315 00:13:57,097 --> 00:13:58,779 Can't just keep... 316 00:13:59,059 --> 00:14:01,239 - Walloping the wombat, yeah. - What?! 317 00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:03,179 (SIGHS) 318 00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:06,599 (LENNY SOBS) 319 00:14:08,801 --> 00:14:10,160 Are you OK? 320 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:12,819 She was the only woman I ever loved. 321 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:14,299 (SOBS) 322 00:14:14,324 --> 00:14:17,223 Oh, I'm sure it's not as bad as it seems. 323 00:14:17,913 --> 00:14:20,379 It is bad! This is how bad it is! 324 00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:22,099 Oh, my God! What are you doing?! 325 00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:23,459 What... What... 326 00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:27,579 I think he pretended to wipe his arse with the photo and then ate it. 327 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:31,039 - Pretending to eat the photo? - No, I think he actually ate it. 328 00:14:31,064 --> 00:14:33,779 OK, everyone! Let's end this! 329 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:35,099 I mean, do this! 330 00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:36,832 Stephanie, you go first. 331 00:14:36,995 --> 00:14:37,995 Oh... 332 00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:40,979 - I don't think that's a good idea. - (WHIMPERS) 333 00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:42,960 Oh, my God. I don't... I don't want to do this! 334 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:45,599 - What did you say? - I said I don't want to do this! 335 00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:49,019 Freddy, this is for you! (SCREAMS) 336 00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:51,732 RADIO: Swell FM. 337 00:14:51,771 --> 00:14:53,699 BRAD: Oh, wow. Swell FM are here. 338 00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:57,474 WOMAN: Welcome back. I'm Katy K for Bell's Salt and Vinegar Chips. 339 00:14:57,499 --> 00:14:59,499 Dr Zhevenko's going for broke! 340 00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:02,459 And we are just one person away from getting the world record 341 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:05,555 for the most amount of vasectomies in a two-hour period! 342 00:15:05,580 --> 00:15:07,899 Oh, hang about! What do you think, fellas? 343 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,659 Do you feel a swell coming on? 344 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:11,179 - Uh... - Yeah, he's ready! 345 00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:14,834 - (CHUCKLES) Uh, I don't know. No. - Oh, come on. 346 00:15:14,859 --> 00:15:16,456 It's not like you're here for a haircut. 347 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:19,259 - (LAUGHS AWKWARDLY) - Snips for chips! 348 00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:21,619 CROWD: (CLAPPING) Snips for chips! 349 00:15:21,644 --> 00:15:23,503 - Snips for chips! - You've got it! 350 00:15:23,528 --> 00:15:25,059 Snips for chips! 351 00:15:25,084 --> 00:15:27,583 Alright, so you didn't jump out of a plane. 352 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:31,339 But do you feel like you... you came close enough to death? 353 00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:36,474 I can taste him. 354 00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:39,040 Ugh. 355 00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:46,039 Biggest balls I've seen today. 356 00:15:46,180 --> 00:15:48,559 But don't worry, the swelling will go down. 357 00:15:48,660 --> 00:15:50,959 Thanks, Katy K. Big fan. 358 00:15:51,060 --> 00:15:52,839 Oh... Could I get an autograph? 359 00:15:52,980 --> 00:15:55,300 Think I've got a Coles receipt here in my wallet somewhere. 360 00:15:55,420 --> 00:15:57,399 No, mate, we can do better than a Coles receipt. 361 00:15:57,500 --> 00:15:59,403 You just had a bloody vasectomy! 362 00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:03,799 Oh! Ah! 363 00:16:03,900 --> 00:16:05,100 How's that? 364 00:16:05,140 --> 00:16:06,740 Oh, you went a bit hard on that second K. 365 00:16:06,820 --> 00:16:09,054 (LAUGHS) Good on you, champ. 366 00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:11,239 I'll never wash 'em again! 367 00:16:14,773 --> 00:16:17,599 - Why'd you do it? - I just wanted an autograph. 368 00:16:17,740 --> 00:16:19,222 Actually hurt more than the operation. 369 00:16:19,246 --> 00:16:21,279 Not the autograph. The vasectomy. 370 00:16:21,654 --> 00:16:22,854 Why? 371 00:16:22,879 --> 00:16:24,458 I like being an uncle. 372 00:16:24,782 --> 00:16:26,361 I think that's my thing. 373 00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:27,480 For now. 374 00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:30,799 Besides, I signed up for the loyalty program. 375 00:16:31,071 --> 00:16:32,570 Two for one reversals. 376 00:16:36,583 --> 00:16:40,074 And then we got up there and she... she... 377 00:16:40,099 --> 00:16:42,159 she started to, like, panic. 378 00:16:42,300 --> 00:16:43,500 - Oh, did she? - Yeah. 379 00:16:43,580 --> 00:16:45,614 And so that's when I, um, 380 00:16:45,645 --> 00:16:48,499 volunteered to scatter the ashes on my way down. 381 00:16:48,580 --> 00:16:50,359 Oh, that is so cool of you. 382 00:16:50,500 --> 00:16:53,059 Yeah, well, it is what Freddy would have wanted. 383 00:16:53,084 --> 00:16:55,679 And, I mean, it's just such a shame for Stephanie, 384 00:16:55,820 --> 00:17:00,109 because, you know, it is such... oh, it's an amazing experience. 385 00:17:00,134 --> 00:17:03,999 And they have this really cool video that proves everything you just said. 386 00:17:04,100 --> 00:17:05,319 Yeah. 387 00:17:05,460 --> 00:17:08,399 I mean, don't take this the wrong way, 388 00:17:08,540 --> 00:17:11,239 but, um... you look a little... touch heavier in the sky. 389 00:17:11,340 --> 00:17:13,399 I mean, almost... Dutch. 390 00:17:13,540 --> 00:17:17,639 Oh, well, the sky adds 10 pounds to everyone, and everyone knows that. 391 00:17:17,664 --> 00:17:22,432 Um... and speaking of adding 10 pounds, how... how's the swelling? 392 00:17:22,776 --> 00:17:25,839 - Uh... the peas seem to be working. - Yeah, I'm sorry I got the box. 393 00:17:25,980 --> 00:17:27,479 - It's a bit sharp. - It's all good. 394 00:17:27,620 --> 00:17:29,399 - All good. - Mm. 395 00:17:30,265 --> 00:17:31,844 Yep. 396 00:17:32,820 --> 00:17:35,079 And it's, um... it's a pity. 397 00:17:35,607 --> 00:17:39,155 Because, you know, I mean, this... it really did work. (CHUCKLES) 398 00:17:39,180 --> 00:17:40,172 Did it? 399 00:17:40,197 --> 00:17:46,755 I have... I don't think ever felt, like, so, like, turned on 400 00:17:46,780 --> 00:17:48,999 by doing something like that. Yeah. 401 00:17:49,367 --> 00:17:52,139 Well, uh, sweetie, um... 402 00:17:52,933 --> 00:17:54,799 I mean, it's not completely unheard of 403 00:17:54,940 --> 00:17:58,716 for a man and wife to have sex the night of the vasectomy 404 00:17:58,741 --> 00:18:00,240 as a, you know, way of... 405 00:18:00,331 --> 00:18:01,439 marking the occasion. 406 00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:03,490 - Oh, no, no. - Yeah, yeah. 407 00:18:03,515 --> 00:18:05,826 I mean, it is too sensitive. 408 00:18:05,881 --> 00:18:08,654 Oh... Oh, I mean, a little bit, but, I mean, I would do it for you. 409 00:18:08,764 --> 00:18:14,159 And it is such a shame, because I am so in the mood for that. 410 00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:15,559 (WHISPERS) 411 00:18:17,300 --> 00:18:19,159 You would... you would... you would do that? 412 00:18:19,401 --> 00:18:22,820 Yeah. Oh, and I really wanted to try... (WHISPERED INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE) 413 00:18:22,860 --> 00:18:24,716 - OK. I-I, I didn't do it! I didn't do it! - I knew it. 414 00:18:24,740 --> 00:18:26,919 - I knew it! I knew it! - Oh, no. How? How? 415 00:18:27,060 --> 00:18:29,439 Because Marlo listens to Swell FM and we heard you. 416 00:18:29,580 --> 00:18:33,439 - We heard everything. - OK, OK. I freaked out a little, 417 00:18:33,580 --> 00:18:35,839 but they were... they were snipping scrotums 418 00:18:35,980 --> 00:18:38,519 the way kids pop balloons after a party. 419 00:18:38,924 --> 00:18:41,183 But I booked in. 420 00:18:41,416 --> 00:18:44,419 - With an actual surgeon? - With an actual surgeon. 421 00:18:46,223 --> 00:18:48,122 I just want us back, Em. 422 00:18:48,372 --> 00:18:49,499 Yeah. 423 00:18:50,333 --> 00:18:51,674 Me too. 424 00:18:51,699 --> 00:18:53,498 Does this mean we can have sex? 425 00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:56,359 Only if you have condoms. 426 00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:57,956 I really wanna try the Bluetooth ones. 427 00:18:57,980 --> 00:19:00,839 After jumping out of a plane, I'm really... I'm up for anything. 428 00:19:00,980 --> 00:19:02,719 You can drop the act now. I confessed. 429 00:19:02,860 --> 00:19:05,359 - What are you implying? - Well, I mean, fair's fair. 430 00:19:05,500 --> 00:19:08,439 I didn't go through the snip and you didn't... 431 00:19:08,580 --> 00:19:13,439 Oh. Uh...hesitate, um... when the... the plane door opened. 432 00:19:13,540 --> 00:19:15,792 You... jumped and... 433 00:19:16,050 --> 00:19:17,515 Correct. 434 00:19:17,540 --> 00:19:18,540 Yep. 435 00:19:18,660 --> 00:19:21,519 Permission to proceed with Operation Marital Sex? 436 00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:27,159 There will be nothing marital about the next... oh, six to eight minutes? 437 00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:28,839 - Ready for... - (DOORBELL RINGS) 438 00:19:28,940 --> 00:19:31,039 Come back in seven to nine minutes! 439 00:19:31,140 --> 00:19:32,599 We've gotta get the door. 440 00:19:32,740 --> 00:19:34,519 - I'll meet you. - Yep. 441 00:19:47,862 --> 00:19:49,601 (ON VIDEO) Hi, Greg. 442 00:19:50,066 --> 00:19:53,799 If this jump doesn't go exactly to plan, I... 443 00:19:54,230 --> 00:19:57,799 I just want you to know that the rest of my life has... 444 00:19:57,976 --> 00:20:01,155 Daddy, they fed me too much cake. 445 00:20:01,180 --> 00:20:02,679 My tummy hurts. 446 00:20:02,780 --> 00:20:05,399 (SIGHS) Hop in. Hop in, hop in. 447 00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:06,959 (WHISPERS) I'm sorry. 448 00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:10,664 Can we watch Edward Scissorhands? 449 00:20:10,773 --> 00:20:13,882 Uh, no. Not... not tonight. 450 00:20:14,204 --> 00:20:15,863 Not that one. 451 00:20:19,860 --> 00:20:21,239 (SIGHS) 452 00:20:21,598 --> 00:20:23,638 Synced Octavia Corrected by PetaG - www.addic7ed.com - 453 00:20:32,660 --> 00:20:33,956 Ah, ah, ah. 454 00:20:33,981 --> 00:20:36,431 I believe you have something that belongs to my neighbour. 455 00:20:36,456 --> 00:20:39,075 Oh, yeah? What might that be? 456 00:20:39,100 --> 00:20:41,159 His spunk, punk. 457 00:20:41,260 --> 00:20:42,679 Hyaah! 458 00:20:46,573 --> 00:20:47,773 Want his wallet? 459 00:20:47,798 --> 00:20:49,337 Nup. 460 00:20:51,224 --> 00:20:52,623 Wait, did you say 'spunk'?! 461 00:20:56,807 --> 00:20:57,886 Not again. 462 00:20:57,936 --> 00:21:02,486 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 34574

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