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Hot in Cleveland is recorded
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in front of a live studio audience.
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[Sighs]
4
00:00:06,189 --> 00:00:07,797
Well, thank God Wilbur's present
5
00:00:07,844 --> 00:00:10,433
arrived from France in
time for his birthday.
6
00:00:10,620 --> 00:00:12,879
What did you always dream of having
7
00:00:12,897 --> 00:00:15,454
when you were a little
girl growing up in Poland?
8
00:00:16,158 --> 00:00:17,605
Food.
9
00:00:19,239 --> 00:00:21,804
But a close second must've been
10
00:00:22,570 --> 00:00:26,699
an 18th century Beaux
Arts marionette theater.
11
00:00:29,523 --> 00:00:32,315
Oh, no. The instructions are in French.
12
00:00:32,435 --> 00:00:34,903
What's French for "puppets are creepy"?
13
00:00:37,570 --> 00:00:39,502
It looks just like you.
14
00:00:41,465 --> 00:00:43,084
There is a resemblance.
15
00:00:43,131 --> 00:00:46,041
Well, this freakish creature
looks nothing like me.
16
00:00:47,613 --> 00:00:49,802
Hey! Where'd you get the Victoria puppet?
17
00:00:52,829 --> 00:00:53,642
What's all that?
18
00:00:53,643 --> 00:00:55,567
Oh, all these toys were
over at Elka's place.
19
00:00:55,687 --> 00:00:57,155
We'll, I did a lot of baby-sitting
20
00:00:57,178 --> 00:00:58,375
when I was young.
21
00:00:58,562 --> 00:01:00,338
Was it hard pushing a stroller around
22
00:01:00,353 --> 00:01:02,340
before the invention of the wheel?
23
00:01:04,483 --> 00:01:06,774
Wow, these toys are really vintage
24
00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:08,879
and kind of inappropriate.
25
00:01:08,901 --> 00:01:11,004
"Drunken Irish potato head"?
26
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They had a great slogan.
27
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"I-rish I was drinkin'."
28
00:01:20,334 --> 00:01:22,206
Hey, everybody. How's the birthday goin'?
29
00:01:22,326 --> 00:01:24,996
Oh, we're building Wilbur
his first marionette theater.
30
00:01:25,116 --> 00:01:27,637
Ah, on the theory he's
really a six-year-old girl?
31
00:01:32,354 --> 00:01:33,787
You know, it's funny.
32
00:01:33,907 --> 00:01:35,201
We've been living together and everything,
33
00:01:35,226 --> 00:01:37,396
and we haven't had the
talk about having kids...
34
00:01:37,690 --> 00:01:38,616
What?
35
00:01:38,999 --> 00:01:41,669
Although I guess that's part
of a longer conversation.
36
00:01:41,789 --> 00:01:43,984
It's already longer than
I thought it would be.
37
00:01:44,591 --> 00:01:46,381
I know you've got grown kids,
38
00:01:46,412 --> 00:01:48,127
but, I mean, it probably wouldn't hurt
39
00:01:48,158 --> 00:01:49,597
to at least think about it.
40
00:01:52,106 --> 00:01:54,014
Whoa! Good arm, buddy!
41
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Nice grab.
42
00:01:58,999 --> 00:01:59,957
Honey, look at him.
43
00:02:00,077 --> 00:02:02,310
We just brought him home
from the hospital an hour ago.
44
00:02:02,430 --> 00:02:04,018
We're already playing catch!
45
00:02:05,300 --> 00:02:07,622
He's incredible, just like his father.
46
00:02:07,742 --> 00:02:09,061
We should have a whole team.
47
00:02:09,092 --> 00:02:10,731
Why don't we get started right now?
48
00:02:11,421 --> 00:02:13,998
- Well, sure. I think that...
- Shh.
49
00:02:13,999 --> 00:02:15,519
I know you're supposed to wait six weeks
50
00:02:15,532 --> 00:02:16,827
after having a baby to have sex,
51
00:02:16,877 --> 00:02:19,417
but I just can't get enough of you.
52
00:02:24,898 --> 00:02:27,106
Wow, he's really picturing it.
53
00:02:27,867 --> 00:02:29,394
I wonder what it would be like.
54
00:02:31,999 --> 00:02:33,248
[Groans]
55
00:02:33,368 --> 00:02:34,998
I can't reach the mail.
56
00:02:34,999 --> 00:02:37,515
Because you gained 75 pounds,
57
00:02:38,191 --> 00:02:40,568
and you're only two months pregnant.
58
00:02:42,095 --> 00:02:43,609
That makes me sad.
59
00:02:43,903 --> 00:02:45,449
I need bacon.
60
00:02:46,450 --> 00:02:48,127
Oh, here's some.
61
00:02:51,249 --> 00:02:52,419
I'm going to play golf.
62
00:02:52,539 --> 00:02:54,484
Let me know when we can have sex again.
63
00:02:59,432 --> 00:03:00,978
It's kind of fun to think about, isn't it?
64
00:03:01,284 --> 00:03:02,542
Sure is.
65
00:03:07,671 --> 00:03:14,028
- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
66
00:03:14,216 --> 00:03:16,781
Melanie, is Alec still here?
67
00:03:16,787 --> 00:03:19,033
We need help. This toy is impossible.
68
00:03:19,089 --> 00:03:20,334
No, he's at the hardware store.
69
00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:22,499
- Oh, I hate hardware stores.
- Me too.
70
00:03:22,555 --> 00:03:24,520
It's all just stuff you
need, nothing you ever want.
71
00:03:24,564 --> 00:03:25,383
Yeah.
72
00:03:26,159 --> 00:03:28,180
It's the lowest form of shopping.
73
00:03:30,089 --> 00:03:32,122
Well, I'm kind of in shock right now.
74
00:03:32,153 --> 00:03:32,729
[Laughs]
75
00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:35,075
Alec just asked me if
I wanted to have kids.
76
00:03:35,094 --> 00:03:37,221
- Really?
- I know!
77
00:03:37,709 --> 00:03:40,162
I mean, I suppose it's
still technically possible
78
00:03:40,162 --> 00:03:41,995
with modern science and everything.
79
00:03:41,999 --> 00:03:43,546
You know, you could always pull a Madonna
80
00:03:43,553 --> 00:03:45,886
and just, you know, snap up
one of those Malawi babies.
81
00:03:49,940 --> 00:03:51,373
Or get a French baby.
82
00:03:51,411 --> 00:03:53,926
Maybe he could read those instructions.
83
00:03:57,216 --> 00:03:58,774
I know.
84
00:03:58,894 --> 00:04:01,064
Why don't you and Alec take Wilbur today?
85
00:04:01,121 --> 00:04:02,998
It'll be a good test run for him.
86
00:04:02,999 --> 00:04:04,299
That's true, and who knows?
87
00:04:04,306 --> 00:04:06,983
Maybe it'll help me figure out
if I want to have a kid too.
88
00:04:08,284 --> 00:04:11,619
Okay, I'm gonna say
what everyone's thinking.
89
00:04:14,259 --> 00:04:15,924
Joy's too old.
90
00:04:19,802 --> 00:04:22,943
Payback for that wheel
crack you made earlier.
91
00:04:27,398 --> 00:04:28,837
- All: Hey.
- [Laughs]
92
00:04:28,957 --> 00:04:31,965
Yeah, that is one cute
baby my boyfriend's holding.
93
00:04:34,023 --> 00:04:38,322
Man, I never realized what
a chick magnet babies are.
94
00:04:38,660 --> 00:04:41,168
But you do realize if Wilbur was our baby,
95
00:04:41,193 --> 00:04:43,370
he wouldn't actually
serve as a chick magnet.
96
00:04:43,890 --> 00:04:45,999
Well, of course not.
97
00:04:49,233 --> 00:04:51,904
Son, this is for you.
98
00:04:52,236 --> 00:04:54,063
It's the glove I used when I was your age.
99
00:04:54,363 --> 00:04:55,998
Wow. Thanks, dad.
100
00:04:55,999 --> 00:04:57,998
- After lunch, you wanna play catch?
- You bet.
101
00:04:57,999 --> 00:04:59,667
[Cell phone rings] One sec.
102
00:04:59,873 --> 00:05:00,968
Hello?
103
00:05:01,857 --> 00:05:03,483
Well, hello, Mr. President.
104
00:05:05,035 --> 00:05:07,876
Why, yes, I'd love to go to
the Super Bowl with you...
105
00:05:10,009 --> 00:05:11,642
But I'm afraid I can't.
106
00:05:11,999 --> 00:05:14,301
I've got something a
little more important to do:
107
00:05:15,196 --> 00:05:17,135
play catch with my son.
108
00:05:18,061 --> 00:05:19,268
[Laughs] Hero?
109
00:05:19,388 --> 00:05:22,423
No, Mr. President. I'm just a dad.
110
00:05:27,735 --> 00:05:29,998
I guess your life really changes
when you have a kid, doesn't it?
111
00:05:29,999 --> 00:05:31,295
Oh, it sure does.
112
00:05:31,477 --> 00:05:34,831
You have to have a lot of
time and a whole lot of energy.
113
00:05:43,459 --> 00:05:45,830
Sweetie! Where have you been?
114
00:05:45,950 --> 00:05:46,925
Out.
115
00:05:47,719 --> 00:05:49,271
Today is parent-teacher conference day,
116
00:05:49,303 --> 00:05:50,310
and you never mentioned it.
117
00:05:50,430 --> 00:05:52,850
Because you embarrass me.
118
00:05:53,319 --> 00:05:55,358
You're way older than all the other moms.
119
00:05:55,478 --> 00:05:57,292
Honey, come sit next to me.
120
00:05:57,310 --> 00:05:58,987
Let's talk for a minute.
121
00:05:59,269 --> 00:06:02,296
Fine, but can we open
a bottle of wine first?
122
00:06:03,610 --> 00:06:04,749
What?
123
00:06:04,869 --> 00:06:07,057
You're right, I shouldn't drink
124
00:06:07,370 --> 00:06:09,115
now that I'm pregnant.
125
00:06:10,986 --> 00:06:12,906
- Pregnant?
- It's your fault.
126
00:06:12,969 --> 00:06:14,633
You never told me about sex.
127
00:06:14,753 --> 00:06:16,091
I meant to.
128
00:06:16,316 --> 00:06:19,707
I was just... I was so tired.
129
00:06:25,269 --> 00:06:27,334
You know, I think we'd
make pretty good parents.
130
00:06:27,572 --> 00:06:28,967
Mm-hmm.
131
00:06:30,550 --> 00:06:31,626
Right, Wilbur?
132
00:06:32,076 --> 00:06:32,952
Where's Wilbur?
133
00:06:32,990 --> 00:06:34,923
Oh, my God! We lost Wilbur!
134
00:06:37,319 --> 00:06:38,883
Look, he couldn't have gotten far.
135
00:06:38,914 --> 00:06:40,704
He's only crawling, and
the floors are sticky.
136
00:06:41,561 --> 00:06:43,613
I'll check by the door.
You check by the bar.
137
00:06:44,176 --> 00:06:46,241
I'll check by the bar.
You check by the door.
138
00:06:47,067 --> 00:06:49,132
Wilbur! Hey! Here, champ!
139
00:06:49,926 --> 00:06:51,528
Hey, little fella.
140
00:06:52,679 --> 00:06:55,100
Oh! Thank God you found him!
141
00:06:55,507 --> 00:06:57,165
And, just so you know,
I'm not a bad person.
142
00:06:57,152 --> 00:06:58,372
I'm really responsible.
143
00:06:58,385 --> 00:07:00,587
People would say that I am the last person
144
00:07:00,612 --> 00:07:02,364
they could imagine losing a baby in a bar.
145
00:07:02,383 --> 00:07:05,099
No worries, you have a
very cute grandson, ma'am.
146
00:07:06,519 --> 00:07:08,421
Grandson? Ma'am?
147
00:07:08,646 --> 00:07:10,347
How old do you think I am?
148
00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:12,243
And don't you dare say the first thing
149
00:07:12,268 --> 00:07:13,632
that pops into your head.
150
00:07:14,670 --> 00:07:16,228
26?
151
00:07:16,447 --> 00:07:18,287
Now, you're just being an a-hole.
152
00:07:18,818 --> 00:07:21,153
Give me back my damn baby.
153
00:07:28,810 --> 00:07:32,151
Well, so much for my Maison de Poup�e.
154
00:07:33,559 --> 00:07:36,305
Looks more like a steaming pile of poup�e.
155
00:07:40,073 --> 00:07:41,668
Why don't we just go to Toys "R" Us
156
00:07:41,699 --> 00:07:42,857
and pick up something different?
157
00:07:42,888 --> 00:07:44,146
What, you mean give up?
158
00:07:44,334 --> 00:07:46,824
Well, that would be the French thing to do.
159
00:07:50,534 --> 00:07:51,541
Hey.
160
00:07:51,998 --> 00:07:53,268
[High-pitched voice] Hi, hot stuff.
161
00:07:53,305 --> 00:07:55,038
[Chuckles]
162
00:07:56,252 --> 00:07:58,179
Wilbur's finally asleep.
163
00:07:58,299 --> 00:08:00,469
That was fun taking care of him today.
164
00:08:00,700 --> 00:08:02,077
I think we did great.
165
00:08:02,197 --> 00:08:03,928
We lost him in a bar.
166
00:08:05,324 --> 00:08:07,038
- We gave him his space.
- [Chuckles]
167
00:08:07,094 --> 00:08:08,658
I think he appreciated it.
168
00:08:08,927 --> 00:08:11,499
You know, to tell you the
truth, I'm kinda wiped out.
169
00:08:11,619 --> 00:08:13,075
That little guy never stops.
170
00:08:13,131 --> 00:08:15,558
Oh, yeah, it's physically
exhausting when they're little,
171
00:08:15,909 --> 00:08:16,985
and, then, they get older,
172
00:08:17,004 --> 00:08:19,925
and it's more emotionally tiring.
173
00:08:19,969 --> 00:08:22,196
You know, helping them with life decisions.
174
00:08:23,028 --> 00:08:25,361
Yeah. I can see that.
175
00:08:28,145 --> 00:08:29,277
Dad.
176
00:08:29,340 --> 00:08:31,035
Check it out.
177
00:08:32,111 --> 00:08:34,370
"Cleveland's hottest dad"?
178
00:08:35,452 --> 00:08:36,660
Wow!
179
00:08:36,854 --> 00:08:38,674
Who even knew this was a thing?
180
00:08:40,032 --> 00:08:43,679
Dad, the Indians offered
me a minor league contract.
181
00:08:43,799 --> 00:08:46,664
Seriously? Well, that's fantastic!
182
00:08:46,784 --> 00:08:49,429
Wait. What's with that look?
183
00:08:49,549 --> 00:08:50,917
Dad... [Exhales]
184
00:08:51,037 --> 00:08:52,345
the truth is...
185
00:08:52,851 --> 00:08:55,098
I think what I really
want is to go to college
186
00:08:55,154 --> 00:08:56,687
and study astronomy.
187
00:08:57,863 --> 00:08:59,415
Well, then, that's what you should do.
188
00:08:59,809 --> 00:09:02,124
You are the greatest father ever.
189
00:09:03,700 --> 00:09:06,377
Well, maybe not the greatest,
190
00:09:06,828 --> 00:09:08,429
but, then again,
191
00:09:08,805 --> 00:09:10,356
mugs don't lie.
192
00:09:15,969 --> 00:09:18,059
Alec, did you inhale too much helium?
193
00:09:18,046 --> 00:09:20,505
Huh? No. Just got lost in thought.
194
00:09:21,168 --> 00:09:22,963
You know, in all this
discussion about babies,
195
00:09:22,995 --> 00:09:24,108
we haven't talked about what your kids
196
00:09:24,121 --> 00:09:26,204
would think about having a
new baby brother or sister.
197
00:09:26,542 --> 00:09:29,208
Ooh. I hadn't thought of that.
198
00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:30,959
Wow. [Chuckles]
199
00:09:31,079 --> 00:09:33,681
I just realized that
Jenna is the same age now
200
00:09:33,731 --> 00:09:35,809
as I was when I had her.
201
00:09:41,270 --> 00:09:44,048
Hey, Elka, is my mom here?
202
00:09:47,389 --> 00:09:48,878
Come here and give me a hug, Jenna,
203
00:09:48,903 --> 00:09:49,872
but be careful.
204
00:09:49,904 --> 00:09:51,261
The pregnancy leached all the calcium
205
00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:53,057
out of my bones.
206
00:09:57,836 --> 00:09:59,732
So, mom, how's the baby?
207
00:09:59,776 --> 00:10:01,071
Did you come up with a name yet?
208
00:10:01,077 --> 00:10:02,791
- "Too tired."
- That's all right.
209
00:10:02,804 --> 00:10:04,468
- You've got time.
- No, that's her name.
210
00:10:04,512 --> 00:10:05,676
"Too tired."
211
00:10:06,489 --> 00:10:08,066
When the nurse asked me what to put down,
212
00:10:08,091 --> 00:10:09,679
all I could say was "too tired,"
213
00:10:09,686 --> 00:10:11,750
and I just didn't have
the energy to correct her.
214
00:10:12,776 --> 00:10:14,753
My friend's mom had a late baby too.
215
00:10:15,110 --> 00:10:16,824
Her name is "why, God, why?"
216
00:10:20,496 --> 00:10:22,868
- Is that formula?
- Nope, breast milk.
217
00:10:22,988 --> 00:10:25,339
I'm so old, I lactate dust.
218
00:10:27,347 --> 00:10:29,749
I have a major announcement to make.
219
00:10:29,806 --> 00:10:31,914
Joy and I are going to go dancing
220
00:10:31,939 --> 00:10:34,091
and pick up guys because
they think we're still hot.
221
00:10:34,211 --> 00:10:35,869
- You wanna come?
- Yes.
222
00:10:35,894 --> 00:10:37,008
But you know I can't.
223
00:10:37,045 --> 00:10:38,415
We were talking to Jenna.
224
00:10:38,954 --> 00:10:41,056
She reminds us of you
when you used to be fun.
225
00:10:41,106 --> 00:10:43,039
Oh, yes, you were so much fun.
226
00:10:43,083 --> 00:10:44,766
I was fun, wasn't I?
227
00:10:44,886 --> 00:10:46,286
Everybody liked me.
228
00:10:46,324 --> 00:10:47,600
They did, didn't they?
229
00:10:48,976 --> 00:10:51,348
Okay, let's go before it gets even sadder.
230
00:10:54,598 --> 00:10:56,710
- Mom, are you okay?
- No.
231
00:10:56,886 --> 00:10:59,038
I had time and energy when you were young,
232
00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:00,597
and you turned out great.
233
00:11:00,864 --> 00:11:01,822
You should be the one
234
00:11:01,847 --> 00:11:03,792
thinking about having a baby, not me.
235
00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:05,739
I don't wanna be a mom again.
236
00:11:05,782 --> 00:11:08,573
I wanna be a grandma.
That's where I am in life.
237
00:11:08,598 --> 00:11:09,597
Don't worry, mom.
238
00:11:09,598 --> 00:11:12,059
You're going to be a wonderful grandmother.
239
00:11:13,598 --> 00:11:15,412
[Groans]
240
00:11:20,868 --> 00:11:23,515
Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
I leaked all over you.
241
00:11:31,598 --> 00:11:33,031
You're thinking about kids, aren't you?
242
00:11:34,163 --> 00:11:35,597
Have you come to a decision?
243
00:11:35,598 --> 00:11:37,192
I think I have.
244
00:11:37,598 --> 00:11:38,819
You?
245
00:11:39,598 --> 00:11:40,927
You go first.
246
00:11:41,822 --> 00:11:43,787
Well, I adore kids,
247
00:11:44,669 --> 00:11:45,896
and I adore you...
248
00:11:45,965 --> 00:11:46,997
[Laughs]
249
00:11:47,454 --> 00:11:50,007
But I feel like I've
done the parenting thing.
250
00:11:50,019 --> 00:11:52,140
You know, and I did it really well,
251
00:11:52,854 --> 00:11:54,431
so I hope you understand
252
00:11:54,700 --> 00:11:56,646
that I don't wanna have any more kids.
253
00:11:58,141 --> 00:11:59,930
Then, we're on the exact same page.
254
00:12:00,050 --> 00:12:01,307
Aw.
255
00:12:01,857 --> 00:12:02,977
I love you.
256
00:12:03,246 --> 00:12:04,472
I love you too.
257
00:12:10,306 --> 00:12:12,545
Toss me the superglue, will you?
258
00:12:13,390 --> 00:12:15,079
Well, it's finished...
259
00:12:15,949 --> 00:12:18,439
Wilbur's first hipster hat.
260
00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:20,892
Oh, it's so cute.
261
00:12:21,012 --> 00:12:24,140
These English instructions
are worse than the French ones.
262
00:12:24,415 --> 00:12:27,012
What or who is Allen Wrench?
263
00:12:31,135 --> 00:12:34,777
This stupid car has more
pieces than the puppet theater,
264
00:12:34,983 --> 00:12:37,154
and it needs two "D" batteries.
265
00:12:37,167 --> 00:12:39,006
Where are we gonna get those?
266
00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:51,945
Fine.
267
00:12:52,276 --> 00:12:54,135
I'll take them out of my...
268
00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:56,669
personal back massager.
269
00:12:59,766 --> 00:13:02,000
Well, ahem, Alec and I had the talk.
270
00:13:02,056 --> 00:13:03,457
What did you decide?
271
00:13:03,639 --> 00:13:05,034
We both decided...
272
00:13:05,646 --> 00:13:06,917
no kids.
273
00:13:07,037 --> 00:13:09,870
- And how do you feel?
- Mm, bittersweet.
274
00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:12,316
But... [chuckles] relieved.
275
00:13:12,847 --> 00:13:15,688
I don't have the energy now
to staff a baby properly.
276
00:13:20,048 --> 00:13:21,932
Day nanny, night nanny,
277
00:13:21,944 --> 00:13:24,128
I'm exhausted already.
278
00:13:25,035 --> 00:13:27,488
My husband didn't want kids.
279
00:13:27,970 --> 00:13:29,865
I've never resented it,
280
00:13:29,985 --> 00:13:32,243
but I always wondered...
281
00:13:35,021 --> 00:13:36,479
Mom!
282
00:13:36,599 --> 00:13:38,957
[Exhales] What is it, Melanie?
283
00:13:40,302 --> 00:13:42,129
Joy cut the legs off her tracksuit,
284
00:13:42,179 --> 00:13:43,524
and she's with a boy.
285
00:13:46,227 --> 00:13:48,191
We're going upstairs to play house.
286
00:13:48,423 --> 00:13:49,887
Maybe we should get married first.
287
00:13:50,646 --> 00:13:52,171
I'm outta here.
288
00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:54,411
Thanks for the milk.
289
00:13:55,644 --> 00:13:57,245
Joy, what have I told you
290
00:13:57,283 --> 00:13:59,541
about giving away the milk for free?
291
00:14:01,913 --> 00:14:04,170
I would never do anything like that, mommy,
292
00:14:04,183 --> 00:14:05,090
because I'm good.
293
00:14:05,115 --> 00:14:06,091
I'm really good.
294
00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:07,606
Tell me how good I am, mommy?
295
00:14:07,646 --> 00:14:10,546
Yes, Melanie, you're good.
296
00:14:12,016 --> 00:14:14,012
How good, mommy? How good?
297
00:14:14,212 --> 00:14:17,559
The kind of good that makes me wanna drink.
298
00:14:20,925 --> 00:14:23,052
I have a major announcement.
299
00:14:24,166 --> 00:14:25,461
What is it, Victoria?
300
00:14:25,646 --> 00:14:28,164
I auditioned for the
lunchtime original movie
301
00:14:28,221 --> 00:14:30,141
Recess Confidential,
302
00:14:30,942 --> 00:14:35,702
and I lost the part to that
little freak Suzy Lucci.
303
00:14:35,822 --> 00:14:37,942
Lucci!
304
00:14:39,137 --> 00:14:41,947
I like Suzy Lucci, and she likes me
305
00:14:41,972 --> 00:14:43,618
because everybody likes me, right, mommy?
306
00:14:43,646 --> 00:14:44,669
Don't they like me?
307
00:14:44,725 --> 00:14:46,696
Mommy, what are you
going to do about Lucci?
308
00:14:46,690 --> 00:14:48,360
Mommy, when is a boy going to like me?
309
00:14:48,385 --> 00:14:50,331
[Overlapping dialogue]
310
00:14:56,099 --> 00:14:57,394
Or...
311
00:14:57,882 --> 00:14:59,941
maybe I dodged a bullet.
312
00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:06,066
Well, I better get back to my tepee.
313
00:15:08,100 --> 00:15:09,164
Oh, no.
314
00:15:11,234 --> 00:15:12,686
Stupid glue.
315
00:15:12,806 --> 00:15:14,969
I can't get this wine glass out of my hand.
316
00:15:15,176 --> 00:15:18,511
Well, that's how you look
80% of the day anyway.
317
00:15:20,275 --> 00:15:21,526
I'm never gonna get this off,
318
00:15:21,564 --> 00:15:23,197
and I'm never gonna finish this tepee.
319
00:15:23,203 --> 00:15:24,091
Oh, come on!
320
00:15:24,135 --> 00:15:26,426
We are four intelligent, capable women
321
00:15:26,444 --> 00:15:27,520
who can do anything.
322
00:15:27,545 --> 00:15:28,421
You're right.
323
00:15:28,541 --> 00:15:29,998
I want Wilbur to know that women
324
00:15:30,023 --> 00:15:31,887
can do anything men can do.
325
00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:37,312
- Magnificent.
- Brilliant.
326
00:15:37,312 --> 00:15:38,988
And can you believe we did it ourselves?
327
00:15:39,026 --> 00:15:40,352
Actually, I can.
328
00:15:43,217 --> 00:15:45,063
Oh, hey, I forgot my present in the car.
329
00:15:45,106 --> 00:15:46,633
- I'll be right back.
- [Sighs]
330
00:15:46,753 --> 00:15:49,230
Another triumph for Victoria Chase.
331
00:15:50,112 --> 00:15:51,526
Victoria, you do realize
332
00:15:51,557 --> 00:15:53,991
critics don't review
first birthday parties.
333
00:15:54,016 --> 00:15:56,663
All the same. Kudos to me.
334
00:15:57,864 --> 00:15:59,448
Oh, my God! Where'd Wilbur go?
335
00:15:59,516 --> 00:16:01,018
Oh, he went back in the tunnel.
336
00:16:01,138 --> 00:16:02,526
[Sighs] Thank goodness.
337
00:16:02,576 --> 00:16:04,227
I wouldn't wanna lose him twice in one day.
338
00:16:04,347 --> 00:16:05,222
What?
339
00:16:05,266 --> 00:16:07,224
I'm gonna help Alec with that gift.
340
00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:11,898
- Hey.
- Hey.
341
00:16:12,217 --> 00:16:13,869
Here's my gift for Wilbur.
342
00:16:14,131 --> 00:16:15,383
Well, it's beautifully wrapped.
343
00:16:15,503 --> 00:16:17,516
Well, I actually did slap a bow on it,
344
00:16:17,636 --> 00:16:19,293
but it looked really unhappy wearing it.
345
00:16:19,974 --> 00:16:21,557
This is really sweet of you,
346
00:16:21,677 --> 00:16:22,934
but maybe we should clean it first.
347
00:16:22,983 --> 00:16:24,934
- It's kind of dirty.
- What? No.
348
00:16:24,967 --> 00:16:27,481
No, it's not dirty. It's... it's broken in.
349
00:16:27,601 --> 00:16:29,314
See, you rub in oil,
350
00:16:29,527 --> 00:16:31,297
and, then, you take a ball,
and you throw it in the pocket,
351
00:16:31,417 --> 00:16:32,599
like, a thousand times.
352
00:16:32,818 --> 00:16:34,013
And, then, you leave the ball in it,
353
00:16:34,133 --> 00:16:35,640
you put it under your
pillow, and you sleep on it.
354
00:16:36,054 --> 00:16:37,110
Wow.
355
00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:38,399
Were you a really good player?
356
00:16:38,467 --> 00:16:40,564
- Are you gonna check?
- No.
357
00:16:40,684 --> 00:16:43,054
- Psh, then I was great.
- [Chuckles]
358
00:16:43,767 --> 00:16:45,519
And you kept it all these years.
359
00:16:45,569 --> 00:16:46,883
Yeah, yeah.
360
00:16:46,908 --> 00:16:47,934
Well, my dad gave it to me,
361
00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:49,986
and I always thought
someday, I'd give it to my...
362
00:16:52,032 --> 00:16:53,896
girlfriend's friend's grandson.
363
00:16:56,042 --> 00:16:57,149
Oh, Alec.
364
00:16:58,839 --> 00:17:00,303
Your face right now.
365
00:17:00,423 --> 00:17:03,050
Honey, I am good with our decision.
366
00:17:03,313 --> 00:17:05,703
But was it really our decision?
367
00:17:06,353 --> 00:17:08,005
Yeah, of course it was.
368
00:17:08,249 --> 00:17:09,231
So...
369
00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:12,553
you're 100% sure that
you do not want children?
370
00:17:13,491 --> 00:17:14,930
The truth?
371
00:17:17,533 --> 00:17:18,752
No.
372
00:17:22,569 --> 00:17:24,046
[Exhales]
373
00:17:26,974 --> 00:17:29,083
No, I'm not 100% sure.
374
00:17:30,159 --> 00:17:32,349
I don't even know if I'm 50% sure.
375
00:17:33,281 --> 00:17:35,977
But I am very sure that
I don't wanna lose you.
376
00:17:37,047 --> 00:17:39,224
I know you feel that way right now,
377
00:17:39,950 --> 00:17:41,270
but I also know that
378
00:17:41,764 --> 00:17:43,585
every time you see a father
379
00:17:43,610 --> 00:17:45,205
playing with his kid,
380
00:17:46,054 --> 00:17:48,127
you're gonna feel a little
sad that it isn't you.
381
00:17:49,053 --> 00:17:50,385
Yeah, that could happen.
382
00:17:50,417 --> 00:17:51,637
It will happen,
383
00:17:52,750 --> 00:17:54,565
and I'm gonna feel like I robbed you
384
00:17:54,590 --> 00:17:56,911
of something that I know is wonderful,
385
00:17:57,649 --> 00:18:00,389
something that I've had,
but that you never will.
386
00:18:00,402 --> 00:18:03,411
- But I love you.
- And I love you too.
387
00:18:06,054 --> 00:18:07,591
That's why...
388
00:18:08,373 --> 00:18:09,893
[Sighs]
389
00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:13,572
that's why I...
390
00:18:14,711 --> 00:18:16,005
we...
391
00:18:21,298 --> 00:18:23,181
Just give this to your son.
392
00:18:24,220 --> 00:18:25,659
Or daughter.
393
00:18:26,334 --> 00:18:27,561
And if...
394
00:18:27,874 --> 00:18:29,269
you're ever 100% sure
395
00:18:29,294 --> 00:18:31,741
that you don't want that, then find me.
396
00:18:34,250 --> 00:18:36,277
So, what?
397
00:18:37,891 --> 00:18:39,312
Is this good-bye?
398
00:18:42,009 --> 00:18:43,579
Yeah, I guess it is.
399
00:18:46,682 --> 00:18:49,786
Although we do live and work together.
400
00:18:52,595 --> 00:18:54,735
So this is gonna be sad and awkward?
401
00:18:56,968 --> 00:18:58,934
How about we just deal with sad tonight
402
00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:00,715
and awkward tomorrow?
403
00:19:03,387 --> 00:19:04,388
Okay.
404
00:19:13,054 --> 00:19:14,311
Good night, Melanie.
405
00:19:19,654 --> 00:19:20,480
We're gonna have to deal
406
00:19:20,517 --> 00:19:22,263
with a little of the awkward right now.
407
00:19:22,383 --> 00:19:23,821
You have the keys.
408
00:19:44,411 --> 00:19:46,381
[Laughter from indoors]
409
00:19:48,054 --> 00:19:50,899
[Excited chatter from indoors]
410
00:19:51,794 --> 00:19:53,377
[Exhales]
411
00:20:01,765 --> 00:20:03,567
Hey, Jenna!
412
00:20:03,761 --> 00:20:05,244
It's mom.
413
00:20:05,364 --> 00:20:08,239
No, no, everything's okay.
414
00:20:08,422 --> 00:20:11,149
I just... just really
wanted to talk to my baby.
415
00:20:12,525 --> 00:20:14,340
So what's new?
416
00:20:14,834 --> 00:20:17,700
[Gasps] Oh, wow! You're kidding.
417
00:20:18,645 --> 00:20:19,871
That's great!
418
00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:21,190
It's just great.
419
00:20:21,310 --> 00:20:23,481
No, no, I got time.
420
00:20:23,869 --> 00:20:25,464
Yeah, I just...
421
00:20:25,752 --> 00:20:27,548
wanna hear everything.
422
00:20:29,570 --> 00:20:38,473
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423
00:20:38,523 --> 00:20:43,073
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