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1
00:00:09,052 --> 00:00:12,687
Hot in Cleveland is recorded
in front of a live studio audience.
2
00:00:12,985 --> 00:00:14,784
It's here everyone:
3
00:00:14,785 --> 00:00:17,825
My interview in
Cosmopolitan Magazine.
4
00:00:18,136 --> 00:00:21,238
"Victoria Chase Sizzles
In Her Fabulous 40s."
5
00:00:21,272 --> 00:00:24,605
Why are you bringing us
20-year-old Cosmos?
6
00:00:26,277 --> 00:00:27,611
God, this magazine!
7
00:00:27,645 --> 00:00:29,046
In the last 30 years,
8
00:00:29,081 --> 00:00:31,015
I must have read
7,000 sex tips.
9
00:00:31,549 --> 00:00:32,850
And it all comes down to two--
10
00:00:32,884 --> 00:00:35,786
Be a woman and show up.
11
00:00:35,821 --> 00:00:36,921
My mother told me,
12
00:00:36,955 --> 00:00:40,288
"Wiggle your hips
and say his name a lot."
13
00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:43,958
In Polish, it rhymes.
14
00:00:44,196 --> 00:00:46,831
Oh, this is all
so exciting.
15
00:00:46,865 --> 00:00:49,900
Being in a Woody Allen movie
and dating Sir Emmet Lawson
16
00:00:49,935 --> 00:00:53,137
has made me
press-worthy again.
17
00:00:53,271 --> 00:00:55,105
[Gasps]
Oh, my God.
18
00:00:55,140 --> 00:00:56,773
It's Jimmy Kimmel's office.
19
00:00:56,808 --> 00:00:59,710
- Answer it.
- I can't pick up my own phone.
20
00:00:59,744 --> 00:01:02,479
I need an assistant.
Melanie, you're hired.
21
00:01:02,513 --> 00:01:04,215
Victoria, I have a job.
22
00:01:04,249 --> 00:01:06,583
Doing...?
23
00:01:06,617 --> 00:01:07,684
I've been working
24
00:01:07,719 --> 00:01:09,753
at a public relations firm
for months.
25
00:01:09,787 --> 00:01:11,956
Huh.
Joy, what about you?
26
00:01:11,990 --> 00:01:13,557
I'm in college.
27
00:01:13,591 --> 00:01:16,924
When did all of this happen?
28
00:01:16,995 --> 00:01:18,495
Come on, Joy,
we got to get going.
29
00:01:18,529 --> 00:01:19,596
We're playing tennis
before work
30
00:01:19,630 --> 00:01:21,098
with Alec
and his friend Bill.
31
00:01:21,132 --> 00:01:23,033
This isn't
a secret fix-up, is it?
32
00:01:23,068 --> 00:01:24,401
No, no, we just need
a fourth.
33
00:01:24,435 --> 00:01:25,802
Good, 'cause I'm taking
a break from dating.
34
00:01:25,837 --> 00:01:27,571
I really need
a little perspective.
35
00:01:27,605 --> 00:01:29,406
He's 6'2"
and super cute.
36
00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:31,308
And that's
just the perspective I needed.
37
00:01:31,343 --> 00:01:33,010
Hurry up. We'll be late
for our date.
38
00:01:33,044 --> 00:01:34,511
Okay,
but I really should warn you,
39
00:01:34,545 --> 00:01:35,612
he's a word shortener.
40
00:01:35,646 --> 00:01:37,214
Vacation is "vacay,"
41
00:01:37,249 --> 00:01:39,183
session is "sesh,"
Cleveland is "Cleve."
42
00:01:39,217 --> 00:01:40,251
Mm, that sounds annoying.
43
00:01:40,285 --> 00:01:41,785
He also owns
his own restaurant.
44
00:01:41,819 --> 00:01:44,121
"Terrif."
45
00:01:44,655 --> 00:01:46,523
Talk to me, babe.
46
00:01:47,257 --> 00:01:48,525
Elka, who are you calling?
47
00:01:49,059 --> 00:01:50,194
Kimmel.
48
00:01:50,228 --> 00:01:52,596
- What?
- I'm your new assistant.
49
00:01:52,630 --> 00:01:54,598
Have you lost your mind?
50
00:01:54,632 --> 00:01:55,732
I got this.
51
00:01:55,767 --> 00:01:57,968
I watched every episode
of Entourage.
52
00:01:58,003 --> 00:01:59,370
All right,
give me that phone.
53
00:01:59,404 --> 00:02:01,638
Victoria Chase returning.
54
00:02:02,472 --> 00:02:03,840
If she doesn't get
the first spot,
55
00:02:03,875 --> 00:02:06,277
she's going straight
to Letterman.
56
00:02:06,311 --> 00:02:08,645
No, no,
any spot is fine.
57
00:02:08,679 --> 00:02:09,880
First spot?
58
00:02:09,915 --> 00:02:12,349
Oh, thank you, Bernie.
59
00:02:12,384 --> 00:02:14,785
See you Friday at Temple.
60
00:02:14,819 --> 00:02:17,154
Temple, really?
61
00:02:17,188 --> 00:02:20,024
He's not gonna be there
either.
62
00:02:23,513 --> 00:02:28,012
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
63
00:02:30,501 --> 00:02:31,668
What a great game!
64
00:02:31,702 --> 00:02:33,404
Boy, you really hustle
on the court.
65
00:02:33,438 --> 00:02:35,539
- I like to win.
- I just like to play.
66
00:02:35,573 --> 00:02:36,974
I don't care who wins.
67
00:02:37,008 --> 00:02:39,310
I noticed.
68
00:02:39,344 --> 00:02:42,313
But, wow, you and Bill,
you guys sure are competitive.
69
00:02:42,347 --> 00:02:44,081
Oh, that's just
all in good fun.
70
00:02:44,115 --> 00:02:45,950
And the fun part is,
I am better than him
71
00:02:45,984 --> 00:02:47,952
by, like, a lot.
72
00:02:47,986 --> 00:02:49,686
Hey, Bill and Joy
really seemed to hit it off.
73
00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:50,988
Do you think
maybe we should invite 'em
74
00:02:51,022 --> 00:02:52,056
for game night Saturday?
75
00:02:52,090 --> 00:02:53,223
I don't know.
76
00:02:53,258 --> 00:02:55,426
Friends dating friends--
that gets weird.
77
00:02:55,460 --> 00:02:56,700
Well, no,
it doesn't have to be.
78
00:02:56,727 --> 00:02:59,463
And Joy really deserves
a great guy like Bill.
79
00:02:59,497 --> 00:03:01,231
She's had bad luck with men.
80
00:03:01,266 --> 00:03:03,000
But don't tell Bill,
I don't want to spook him.
81
00:03:03,034 --> 00:03:04,701
[Phone chimes]
82
00:03:04,735 --> 00:03:06,437
Oh, sweet!
83
00:03:06,471 --> 00:03:07,704
I just got selected
84
00:03:07,738 --> 00:03:09,406
to be Cleveland's
most eligible bachelor
85
00:03:09,441 --> 00:03:12,774
for the sixth year in a row.
86
00:03:13,678 --> 00:03:16,246
Oh, that's terrific.
87
00:03:16,281 --> 00:03:17,747
You don't seem happy
about it.
88
00:03:17,782 --> 00:03:19,183
No, I am, I am.
89
00:03:19,217 --> 00:03:20,650
Yeah, I just didn't think
you were gonna be
90
00:03:20,685 --> 00:03:21,818
in the running this year,
91
00:03:21,853 --> 00:03:24,321
'cause, you know,
the word "eligible"
92
00:03:24,356 --> 00:03:26,923
makes you sound so eligible.
93
00:03:26,958 --> 00:03:28,359
Which, of course,
I'm not...
94
00:03:28,393 --> 00:03:31,528
Although Chloe always thought
it was good for business.
95
00:03:31,562 --> 00:03:34,231
Uhhuh.
Uh-huh.
96
00:03:34,765 --> 00:03:37,598
But Chloe doesn't work
here anymore.
97
00:03:37,935 --> 00:03:41,268
So it only matters
what you think.
98
00:03:42,573 --> 00:03:43,240
So...
99
00:03:43,274 --> 00:03:45,976
What do you think?
100
00:03:46,011 --> 00:03:48,745
I guess I think
that I don't need to be
101
00:03:48,779 --> 00:03:50,947
on some silly magazine cover.
[Chuckles]
102
00:03:50,982 --> 00:03:52,983
You'd give up your crown
and all the perks for me?
103
00:03:53,018 --> 00:03:54,385
Absolutely.
104
00:03:54,419 --> 00:03:56,553
And there's no crown, but...
105
00:03:56,587 --> 00:03:59,920
Well, there are some perks--
Free eye exam...
106
00:04:00,291 --> 00:04:01,558
10% off Dunkin' Donuts.
107
00:04:01,592 --> 00:04:04,925
Boy, I use that every day.
108
00:04:05,230 --> 00:04:07,398
Joy, you have
a wicked backhand.
109
00:04:07,432 --> 00:04:10,100
Totally "ridic."
110
00:04:10,135 --> 00:04:11,701
Thanks.
111
00:04:11,736 --> 00:04:15,039
I guess we both live
for the "competish."
112
00:04:17,175 --> 00:04:18,375
Whoa.
113
00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:21,545
I just got named
Cleve's most eligible bachelor.
114
00:04:21,579 --> 00:04:23,914
[Gasps]
Congratulations.
115
00:04:24,448 --> 00:04:26,616
Hey, didn't Alec win that,
like, five years in a row?
116
00:04:27,151 --> 00:04:28,785
The torch has been passed.
117
00:04:28,819 --> 00:04:31,055
And I cannot wait
to find just the right moment
118
00:04:31,089 --> 00:04:34,422
to rub that torch
in his face.
119
00:04:34,459 --> 00:04:35,625
So, Stu,
120
00:04:35,660 --> 00:04:37,694
since you can't satisfy
your wife,
121
00:04:37,728 --> 00:04:40,730
how about you satisfy me?
122
00:04:42,867 --> 00:04:45,135
- Yes, I'll hold.
- Elka?
123
00:04:45,170 --> 00:04:46,770
Who are you talking to now?
124
00:04:47,304 --> 00:04:50,137
Tarantino's people.
125
00:04:50,542 --> 00:04:52,509
I'm pitching you
for his next movie.
126
00:04:52,544 --> 00:04:54,945
What?
No, no, you're not my agent.
127
00:04:54,979 --> 00:04:56,346
You're my assistant.
128
00:04:56,381 --> 00:04:59,550
I promoted myself.
129
00:05:00,584 --> 00:05:02,917
Elka, Victoria,
this is Alec's friend Bill.
130
00:05:03,054 --> 00:05:04,721
- Oh, hi, Bill.
- Oh.
131
00:05:04,755 --> 00:05:05,889
Bill just got voted
132
00:05:05,923 --> 00:05:07,657
Cleveland's
most eligible bachelor.
133
00:05:07,692 --> 00:05:09,726
Oh, congratulations.
134
00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:11,328
And if I'm not mistaken,
135
00:05:11,362 --> 00:05:14,064
your restaurant just earned
a coveted Michelin star.
136
00:05:14,099 --> 00:05:17,432
You are not mistaken.
We did score a "Mish."
137
00:05:19,503 --> 00:05:21,836
Don't tell Bill,
but his restaurant is overrated.
138
00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:24,708
All he does is slap truffles
on everything.
139
00:05:27,645 --> 00:05:30,478
So, Stu,
stop yanking my chain.
140
00:05:31,249 --> 00:05:32,749
Put Marty on.
141
00:05:32,783 --> 00:05:34,218
Who's Marty?
142
00:05:34,252 --> 00:05:37,254
There's always a Marty.
143
00:05:40,691 --> 00:05:43,160
[Sighs]
144
00:05:43,694 --> 00:05:45,729
Are you sure
you're not disappointed?
145
00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:47,331
Why would you say that?
146
00:05:47,365 --> 00:05:49,533
Because you keep looking at
last year's issue and sighing.
147
00:05:49,567 --> 00:05:51,335
Oh, no.
148
00:05:51,369 --> 00:05:53,604
I had a good run.
149
00:05:53,638 --> 00:05:56,971
Nope, now I'm free
to grow out my soul patch.
150
00:05:58,276 --> 00:05:59,476
Soul patch?
151
00:05:59,511 --> 00:06:02,844
Is that that little beard
that gnomes have?
152
00:06:03,581 --> 00:06:04,681
Yeah, yeah.
153
00:06:04,715 --> 00:06:06,183
All the guys
in my basketball league,
154
00:06:06,217 --> 00:06:07,851
they all patch out
for the season.
155
00:06:07,885 --> 00:06:09,219
See?
I started already.
156
00:06:09,254 --> 00:06:12,523
Oh, yeah. I just thought
you missed a spot shaving.
157
00:06:12,557 --> 00:06:14,124
You're not a fan
of the soul patch?
158
00:06:14,159 --> 00:06:15,692
No, no, I love 'em.
159
00:06:15,726 --> 00:06:19,059
It's like you're
my very own Starbucks barista.
160
00:06:20,331 --> 00:06:22,766
You know, the coffee
at Dunkin' Donuts is better.
161
00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:25,235
Was better.
162
00:06:25,270 --> 00:06:26,603
[Giggles]
You're funny.
163
00:06:26,638 --> 00:06:28,372
[Door opens]
164
00:06:28,406 --> 00:06:31,007
So, uh, Oil of Olay would be
a huge boost
165
00:06:31,042 --> 00:06:33,109
to our national...
166
00:06:33,144 --> 00:06:34,711
[Door closes]
Okay, she's gone.
167
00:06:34,745 --> 00:06:36,746
- Where were we?
- Wait.
168
00:06:36,781 --> 00:06:39,141
Why can't we tell people in the
office that we're dating now
169
00:06:39,150 --> 00:06:41,285
so we can avoid
awkward moments like that?
170
00:06:41,319 --> 00:06:43,987
Well, it actually might create
more awkward moments,
171
00:06:44,021 --> 00:06:45,989
like people thinking
you're getting special treatment
172
00:06:46,023 --> 00:06:48,492
for sleeping with the boss.
173
00:06:48,526 --> 00:06:51,495
You sound like you have
some experience with this.
174
00:06:52,529 --> 00:06:54,498
Well...
To be honest,
175
00:06:54,532 --> 00:06:56,533
I, uh--I have dated
within the office,
176
00:06:56,568 --> 00:06:58,268
and it gets complicated.
177
00:06:58,303 --> 00:07:01,405
Oh.
178
00:07:01,439 --> 00:07:03,707
Not that it matters,
'cause it so doesn't...
179
00:07:03,741 --> 00:07:04,740
[Chuckles awkwardly]
180
00:07:04,741 --> 00:07:06,743
But who was it?
181
00:07:07,277 --> 00:07:08,478
Look, there's no point
in telling you.
182
00:07:08,513 --> 00:07:09,813
It's in the past.
183
00:07:09,847 --> 00:07:11,598
- Let's just let it go.
- Okay, you're right.
184
00:07:11,599 --> 00:07:13,650
It's in the past.
I'll let it go.
185
00:07:13,685 --> 00:07:16,353
Was it Lisa,
the copywriter?
186
00:07:16,387 --> 00:07:17,421
Melanie, don't do this.
187
00:07:17,455 --> 00:07:18,655
You are the only woman
in my life.
188
00:07:18,690 --> 00:07:20,457
That's all that matters.
189
00:07:20,491 --> 00:07:22,559
Oh.
190
00:07:22,594 --> 00:07:24,927
Dianne in Accounting?
191
00:07:26,731 --> 00:07:28,732
[Sighs]
192
00:07:30,298 --> 00:07:31,599
Mm. You're right!
193
00:07:31,633 --> 00:07:34,966
Peanut butter and jelly
is better with truffles.
194
00:07:36,939 --> 00:07:38,439
What's
with all the Cosmos?
195
00:07:38,474 --> 00:07:39,974
Oh, there's an article
about Victoria.
196
00:07:40,308 --> 00:07:42,510
She's conveniently marked it
with a Post-it.
197
00:07:43,044 --> 00:07:45,045
"Victoria Chase's
Fabulous 40s."
198
00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:47,448
Wow,
she looks great for 45.
199
00:07:47,483 --> 00:07:50,751
Mm. She looks really great
for [Bleep].
200
00:07:51,286 --> 00:07:53,854
Oh, my God,
that just slipped out.
201
00:07:53,888 --> 00:07:55,489
Please,
you can't say anything.
202
00:07:55,523 --> 00:07:56,957
No prob.
203
00:07:56,992 --> 00:07:58,459
I know women are
a little "sensi"
204
00:07:58,493 --> 00:07:59,860
on that subject.
205
00:07:59,894 --> 00:08:01,428
Thank you.
206
00:08:01,463 --> 00:08:03,797
Hey, what are you doing
Saturday night?
207
00:08:03,831 --> 00:08:05,832
Actually, it's
our monthly game night.
208
00:08:05,867 --> 00:08:07,734
I could use a good partner.
209
00:08:07,768 --> 00:08:09,569
Melanie's got Alec,
and she's always bragging
210
00:08:09,604 --> 00:08:11,338
about how brilliant he is.
211
00:08:11,373 --> 00:08:12,906
Yeah, Alec's pretty good,
I guess,
212
00:08:12,940 --> 00:08:16,043
as long
as he's not under pressure.
213
00:08:16,077 --> 00:08:17,544
Don't tell anyone,
214
00:08:17,578 --> 00:08:20,514
but Alec choked on Jeps.
215
00:08:21,248 --> 00:08:22,383
"Jeps"?
216
00:08:22,417 --> 00:08:24,684
Jeopardy!
He was a contestant.
217
00:08:24,719 --> 00:08:25,952
Totally froze.
218
00:08:25,987 --> 00:08:27,988
Ended up with the lowest
score in Jeps history--
219
00:08:28,023 --> 00:08:31,356
negative 6,800.
220
00:08:33,128 --> 00:08:35,062
He was--he was so upset,
he burst into tears.
221
00:08:35,096 --> 00:08:37,764
Even Alex trebek
was embarrassed.
222
00:08:37,798 --> 00:08:39,799
Oh, my God,
how humiliating.
223
00:08:39,834 --> 00:08:42,903
You know, Jeopardy! Is
one of Melanie's favorite shows,
224
00:08:42,937 --> 00:08:44,471
even though
she's terrible at it.
225
00:08:44,506 --> 00:08:46,040
Every time
they answer correctly,
226
00:08:46,074 --> 00:08:47,908
she's all,
"how do they know that stuff?"
227
00:08:47,942 --> 00:08:50,810
- So she's not very "intel."
- No, she's very "intel."
228
00:08:50,845 --> 00:08:54,178
She's just more into Wheel.
229
00:08:56,684 --> 00:08:57,851
"Wheel"?
230
00:08:57,885 --> 00:08:58,919
It's Wheel of Fortune.
231
00:08:58,953 --> 00:09:01,721
I-I just shortened it.
232
00:09:01,756 --> 00:09:02,856
Huh.
233
00:09:02,890 --> 00:09:06,223
Never heard it "abbreved"
like that.
234
00:09:08,129 --> 00:09:10,864
Well, you better shove
a phone book down your pants
235
00:09:10,898 --> 00:09:14,231
'cause you're gonna get
your ass kicked, O.B.B.
236
00:09:14,436 --> 00:09:17,671
I love you too, man.
237
00:09:17,705 --> 00:09:19,973
Well, it happened.
Friends are dating friends.
238
00:09:20,007 --> 00:09:21,641
Joy invited Bill
to game night.
239
00:09:21,676 --> 00:09:23,544
Oh,
I think that's great!
240
00:09:23,578 --> 00:09:25,745
Why do you call Bill
O.B.B.?
241
00:09:25,780 --> 00:09:27,548
Oh, it's--
it's nothing.
242
00:09:27,582 --> 00:09:30,150
No, it's just
a nickname thing.
243
00:09:30,185 --> 00:09:33,287
[Meekly]
I don't know.
244
00:09:33,321 --> 00:09:36,256
That is the worst covering up
I have ever seen.
245
00:09:36,291 --> 00:09:38,425
Okay, look,
I shouldn't have mentioned it.
246
00:09:38,460 --> 00:09:39,593
Can we just let it go?
247
00:09:39,627 --> 00:09:41,495
Alec,
I'm your girlfriend!
248
00:09:41,529 --> 00:09:43,330
You're supposed
to tell me stuff.
249
00:09:43,364 --> 00:09:45,966
Okay.
Okay, I will tell you.
250
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:48,435
But you have to swear
that you will tell no one.
251
00:09:48,470 --> 00:09:51,472
Okay.
I swear, I swear.
252
00:09:51,506 --> 00:09:53,340
So what does O.B.B. Mean?
253
00:09:53,374 --> 00:09:56,477
"One Ball Bill"?
254
00:10:05,353 --> 00:10:07,221
Well, I promised
I wouldn't say anything,
255
00:10:07,255 --> 00:10:08,755
but I really thought
you should know,
256
00:10:08,789 --> 00:10:11,558
just in case you and Bill
end up... you know,
257
00:10:11,593 --> 00:10:14,926
so you won't be
totally surprised.
258
00:10:15,163 --> 00:10:16,430
It doesn't bother me.
259
00:10:16,464 --> 00:10:18,965
Well, I know men
are quite attached to them.
260
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:20,601
But let's be honest.
261
00:10:20,635 --> 00:10:21,935
Aesthetically speaking,
262
00:10:21,969 --> 00:10:25,302
it's not exactly
a peacock plume.
263
00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:27,107
You know,
in terms of numbers,
264
00:10:27,142 --> 00:10:30,277
I think one is heading
in the right direction.
265
00:10:30,311 --> 00:10:32,012
You know, it's
not like you ever think,
266
00:10:32,046 --> 00:10:35,379
"Ooh, I wish
there were more of those."
267
00:10:37,685 --> 00:10:40,220
Okay, Joy, I told you
a secret about Bill.
268
00:10:40,255 --> 00:10:42,523
But now I need you
to find out something for me.
269
00:10:42,557 --> 00:10:45,125
Alec confessed
that I'm not the only woman
270
00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:46,726
he's dated
at the office.
271
00:10:46,761 --> 00:10:49,196
- And he won't tell me who she is!
- I'm on it.
272
00:10:49,230 --> 00:10:51,131
But Bill can't know
you're asking for me.
273
00:10:51,166 --> 00:10:52,999
Oh, please,
I'm Mata Hari.
274
00:10:53,034 --> 00:10:55,135
Secrets are my business.
275
00:10:55,170 --> 00:10:57,771
In fact, Bill told me
a juicy one
276
00:10:57,805 --> 00:10:59,540
about Alec
being on Jeopardy!
277
00:10:59,574 --> 00:11:02,176
He was?
I love Jeopardy!
278
00:11:02,210 --> 00:11:05,543
How do they know
all that stuff?
279
00:11:06,047 --> 00:11:08,782
Well,
sometimes they do,
280
00:11:08,816 --> 00:11:10,551
and sometimes
they choke.
281
00:11:10,585 --> 00:11:13,918
Don't tell Alec
I told you, but...
282
00:11:13,954 --> 00:11:17,123
One time on Jeps...
283
00:11:19,465 --> 00:11:21,432
The bottom line is,
when Chloe left,
284
00:11:21,466 --> 00:11:22,699
she took half our clients.
285
00:11:22,734 --> 00:11:24,936
So are we gonna let that
stop us?
286
00:11:24,970 --> 00:11:27,939
[Cell phone buzzes]
287
00:11:27,973 --> 00:11:30,942
Nine?
288
00:11:31,476 --> 00:11:33,077
Sorry, I just, um--
289
00:11:33,111 --> 00:11:34,778
when I'm passionate
about something,
290
00:11:34,813 --> 00:11:37,548
I speak German.
291
00:11:37,582 --> 00:11:40,915
Okay, well, on that note,
let's adjourn for today.
292
00:11:42,220 --> 00:11:43,787
Thank you very much.
293
00:11:43,822 --> 00:11:46,324
Keep up the good work.
294
00:11:46,358 --> 00:11:49,026
By the way, Alec,
love the soul patch.
295
00:11:49,061 --> 00:11:50,294
Well, thank you, Kathy.
296
00:11:50,329 --> 00:11:52,063
Hmm.
297
00:11:52,097 --> 00:11:54,465
Boy, that Kathy sure pitched
a few clunkers, huh?
298
00:11:54,499 --> 00:11:55,899
I never dated Kathy.
299
00:11:55,934 --> 00:11:58,302
Oh, in that case, she made
a number of excellent points.
300
00:11:58,337 --> 00:12:00,404
Melanie, don't do this.
301
00:12:00,439 --> 00:12:02,239
Please let it go,
for your sake and for ours.
302
00:12:02,274 --> 00:12:03,540
I'm sorry.
303
00:12:03,575 --> 00:12:05,095
It's not something
I like about myself,
304
00:12:05,110 --> 00:12:08,245
but sometimes I get
a little jealous and insecure.
305
00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:09,947
Well,
you have no reason to be.
306
00:12:09,982 --> 00:12:13,315
You are all I want.
307
00:12:14,119 --> 00:12:15,353
Wow.
308
00:12:15,387 --> 00:12:18,720
That patch sure is growing in,
isn't it?
309
00:12:19,191 --> 00:12:22,059
Mmm. Bill, these appetizers
are delicious.
310
00:12:22,094 --> 00:12:25,427
Hot apps
are my thing.
311
00:12:25,530 --> 00:12:28,832
Can you taste
my secret "ingreed"?
312
00:12:28,867 --> 00:12:32,200
Is it truffles?
313
00:12:33,638 --> 00:12:36,507
"Truff" reduction,
actually.
314
00:12:36,541 --> 00:12:38,042
[Softly]
This whole meal
315
00:12:38,076 --> 00:12:40,577
could use
a little "truff" reduction.
316
00:12:40,612 --> 00:12:43,680
Let me get you
another vodka tonic, Elka.
317
00:12:43,715 --> 00:12:44,781
It's the least
I can do
318
00:12:44,816 --> 00:12:46,484
for the little shark
who got me a part
319
00:12:46,518 --> 00:12:48,519
in the next Tarantino movie.
320
00:12:48,553 --> 00:12:51,886
Oh, Elka, thank you,
thank you, thank you.
321
00:12:52,657 --> 00:12:55,990
You're welcome,
you're welcome, you're welcome.
322
00:12:57,062 --> 00:13:00,395
She didn't get the part.
323
00:13:01,199 --> 00:13:02,299
What?
324
00:13:02,334 --> 00:13:04,468
Oh, I demanded
too much money.
325
00:13:04,503 --> 00:13:07,836
I was drunk with power.
326
00:13:08,073 --> 00:13:09,473
When are you going
to tell her?
327
00:13:09,508 --> 00:13:12,841
As soon as I get drunk
with vodka.
328
00:13:14,846 --> 00:13:18,179
Here's my little star.
329
00:13:18,517 --> 00:13:19,983
How about a toast
to the chef?
330
00:13:20,018 --> 00:13:22,886
Who also happens
to be...
331
00:13:22,921 --> 00:13:24,755
Um, um,
I'm too modest.
332
00:13:24,789 --> 00:13:25,956
Joy, why don't you tell 'em?
333
00:13:25,990 --> 00:13:27,091
Bill just got named--
334
00:13:27,092 --> 00:13:29,826
Cleveland's
most eligible bachelor!
335
00:13:30,611 --> 00:13:32,063
Wait.
Seriously?
336
00:13:32,097 --> 00:13:33,364
Awesome, right?
337
00:13:33,398 --> 00:13:34,598
And they're really stepping it
up this year--
338
00:13:34,633 --> 00:13:37,701
Super Bowl tix.
339
00:13:37,735 --> 00:13:39,570
Super Bowl tickets?
340
00:13:39,604 --> 00:13:41,672
All I ever got was
a discount Dunkin' Donuts card
341
00:13:41,706 --> 00:13:44,442
and a free eye exam.
342
00:13:44,476 --> 00:13:46,077
Yeah, I gave that stuff
to my dad.
343
00:13:46,111 --> 00:13:49,113
But you've got
the real prize....
344
00:13:49,147 --> 00:13:52,480
Me.
345
00:13:52,951 --> 00:13:55,953
Of course I do.
346
00:13:55,987 --> 00:13:58,022
- So let's play.
- We'll go first.
347
00:13:58,807 --> 00:14:00,107
Okay, so the rules.
348
00:14:00,142 --> 00:14:01,542
You pick a title
of something,
349
00:14:01,576 --> 00:14:03,010
and then you draw
a picture.
350
00:14:03,045 --> 00:14:04,879
Like if I drew
a bowl with a cape,
351
00:14:04,913 --> 00:14:08,246
that might be Super Bowl.
352
00:14:08,550 --> 00:14:10,351
I get it.
353
00:14:10,385 --> 00:14:12,220
Okay, round.
354
00:14:12,254 --> 00:14:14,722
Round, round, around--
Around The World In 80 Days.
355
00:14:14,756 --> 00:14:15,756
- Yes!
- Wow.
356
00:14:15,790 --> 00:14:16,958
Yay, Joy!
357
00:14:16,992 --> 00:14:18,625
What? No, you don't "yay"
the other team.
358
00:14:18,660 --> 00:14:20,895
- It's your turn, Elka.
- Oh, oh.
359
00:14:20,929 --> 00:14:23,731
Boy, Joy plays
to win, huh?
360
00:14:23,765 --> 00:14:25,199
Must be nice.
361
00:14:25,234 --> 00:14:26,934
Don't worry.
362
00:14:26,969 --> 00:14:30,302
I've never won this game,
so I'm due.
363
00:14:31,673 --> 00:14:35,006
Sharon... Stone...
364
00:14:36,078 --> 00:14:37,511
Got your part.
365
00:14:37,545 --> 00:14:39,881
Yes!
366
00:14:44,119 --> 00:14:46,487
How could this happen?
You said it was a lock!
367
00:14:46,521 --> 00:14:49,854
You said that you went
all Ari Gold on their ass!
368
00:14:50,292 --> 00:14:53,625
It turned out Entourage
was all made up.
369
00:14:55,630 --> 00:14:58,766
I'm sorry, Victoria.
370
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:02,036
Well, I got
to go call my agent...
371
00:15:02,070 --> 00:15:04,403
My real agent.
372
00:15:07,109 --> 00:15:10,442
Wait till she finds out
she lost Kimmel.
373
00:15:11,613 --> 00:15:13,381
[Sighs]
Victoria's so upset.
374
00:15:13,415 --> 00:15:14,681
Maybe we should stop playing.
375
00:15:14,716 --> 00:15:15,849
- No!
- No!
376
00:15:15,884 --> 00:15:17,453
Okay, then I'm up.
377
00:15:19,087 --> 00:15:21,289
Okay.
378
00:15:22,323 --> 00:15:24,358
Uh... It's a man.
379
00:15:24,393 --> 00:15:25,692
Man of La Mancha.
380
00:15:25,727 --> 00:15:27,594
Uh, no.
Jester hat?
381
00:15:27,629 --> 00:15:29,030
Shakespeare In Love.
382
00:15:29,564 --> 00:15:30,898
Uh, baseball?
383
00:15:30,933 --> 00:15:32,433
-The Natural.
- Time's up.
384
00:15:32,467 --> 00:15:34,402
What was it?
Was I close?
385
00:15:34,436 --> 00:15:35,502
Kind of.
386
00:15:35,537 --> 00:15:38,870
Bridget Jones's Diary.
387
00:15:45,747 --> 00:15:47,848
- What?
- It's a juggler.
388
00:15:47,882 --> 00:15:51,052
She has to juggle men
and career and parents.
389
00:15:51,086 --> 00:15:52,719
Oh, that's good.
390
00:15:52,754 --> 00:15:55,356
[Mouths]
391
00:15:55,390 --> 00:15:56,490
How am I supposed
to know it's a juggler,
392
00:15:56,524 --> 00:15:57,591
with only one ball?
393
00:15:57,625 --> 00:15:58,960
One ball is useless.
394
00:15:58,994 --> 00:16:01,528
If you only have one ball,
you might as well have no balls.
395
00:16:01,563 --> 00:16:04,231
[Laughs]
Oop. Hmm.
396
00:16:04,916 --> 00:16:07,599
What's so funny?
397
00:16:09,403 --> 00:16:11,372
Oh, my God!
398
00:16:11,406 --> 00:16:13,374
You told Melanie
about O.B.B.?
399
00:16:13,408 --> 00:16:15,542
You told Joy
about O.B.B.?
400
00:16:15,577 --> 00:16:17,578
Only because I didn't want her
to be surprised
401
00:16:17,612 --> 00:16:19,981
if and when
the issue ever came up,
402
00:16:20,015 --> 00:16:22,416
which we're all rooting for!
403
00:16:22,951 --> 00:16:25,186
Bill, I am totally fine
with one--
404
00:16:25,220 --> 00:16:27,388
more than fine.
It's better really.
405
00:16:27,422 --> 00:16:29,755
The less, the merrier.
406
00:16:30,859 --> 00:16:32,193
See, she loves it.
407
00:16:32,227 --> 00:16:33,995
So let's just
keep playing, okay?
408
00:16:34,029 --> 00:16:35,129
Okay.
409
00:16:35,163 --> 00:16:38,232
So, ball--
Bill...
410
00:16:38,266 --> 00:16:39,333
It's your turn.
411
00:16:39,368 --> 00:16:42,701
No prob.
Let's get back to pics.
412
00:16:49,277 --> 00:16:50,811
Uh, it's a man.
413
00:16:50,845 --> 00:16:53,747
With tears.
414
00:16:53,781 --> 00:16:55,716
Oh, oh, I know this!
415
00:16:55,750 --> 00:16:57,184
It's Alec on Jeopardy!
416
00:16:57,219 --> 00:16:59,353
- The Crying Game.
- Yes!
417
00:16:59,388 --> 00:17:01,788
You swore you'd never tell
anybody about Jeopardy!
418
00:17:01,823 --> 00:17:04,091
Like you swore you'd never
tell anyone about O.B.B.!
419
00:17:04,126 --> 00:17:07,328
Again, I'm thrilled
with just the one.
420
00:17:08,362 --> 00:17:10,031
Well,
this is a disaster.
421
00:17:10,065 --> 00:17:12,699
My agent said that there's
no way I can get that part back,
422
00:17:12,734 --> 00:17:14,568
and I can't afford
to lose parts.
423
00:17:14,602 --> 00:17:17,471
As an actress,
I have a limited shelf life.
424
00:17:17,506 --> 00:17:18,472
Take it easy, Vic.
425
00:17:18,507 --> 00:17:21,840
You look "incred"
for [Bleep].
426
00:17:24,979 --> 00:17:26,347
Bill!
427
00:17:26,381 --> 00:17:29,383
Oh, Joy Scroggs,
how could you?
428
00:17:29,418 --> 00:17:32,686
We never say that number!
Not even to each other.
429
00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:35,056
Well, this makes
all the word shortening
430
00:17:35,090 --> 00:17:36,723
and the ugly soul patches
431
00:17:36,758 --> 00:17:39,893
and Melanie's cornball
sex music look like nothing.
432
00:17:39,928 --> 00:17:41,495
What's wrong
with word shortening?
433
00:17:41,530 --> 00:17:44,698
It's more "expedish."
434
00:17:44,732 --> 00:17:46,833
It can be
the tiniest bit annoying.
435
00:17:46,868 --> 00:17:48,469
Well,
that's a little picky.
436
00:17:48,503 --> 00:17:50,003
No wonder you have
bad luck with men.
437
00:17:50,038 --> 00:17:52,839
Alec, I told you that
in confidence!
438
00:17:52,874 --> 00:17:55,076
You told Alec
I have bad luck with men?
439
00:17:55,110 --> 00:17:56,544
Come on, Joy.
440
00:17:56,578 --> 00:17:59,911
Anybody
could have said that.
441
00:18:01,950 --> 00:18:03,884
Melanie, you said
that you loved my soul patch.
442
00:18:03,918 --> 00:18:05,619
And you said
you loved John Mayer.
443
00:18:05,653 --> 00:18:08,055
Your Body Is A Wonderland
is cornball sex music?
444
00:18:08,090 --> 00:18:09,823
Well, the "your"
is not specific.
445
00:18:09,857 --> 00:18:11,392
It sounds like
he's singing it to me.
446
00:18:11,426 --> 00:18:13,494
Somebody's a little bit
into themself.
447
00:18:13,528 --> 00:18:14,628
Somebody who used
to be
448
00:18:14,662 --> 00:18:16,263
Cleveland's
most eligible "bach."
449
00:18:16,298 --> 00:18:17,298
You only won that
450
00:18:17,332 --> 00:18:18,612
because Melanie made me
drop out.
451
00:18:18,633 --> 00:18:20,901
Made you? See?
You are upset about it.
452
00:18:20,935 --> 00:18:22,169
Just admit it!
453
00:18:22,204 --> 00:18:23,670
And admit the truth
about the nine other women
454
00:18:23,705 --> 00:18:24,771
you've slept with
at the office!
455
00:18:24,806 --> 00:18:27,007
- Nine?
- I didn't write "nine"!
456
00:18:27,041 --> 00:18:30,374
I wrote "Nina."
Stupid autocorrect.
457
00:18:31,879 --> 00:18:33,114
It was Nina?
458
00:18:33,148 --> 00:18:35,116
Nina with the parking space
closest to the building?
459
00:18:35,150 --> 00:18:36,484
Well, you don't have
to be on Jeopardy!
460
00:18:36,518 --> 00:18:38,419
To know how she got that.
461
00:18:38,453 --> 00:18:39,920
See,
she's not so stupid.
462
00:18:39,954 --> 00:18:43,287
[Gasps]
463
00:18:43,825 --> 00:18:45,392
You said I was stupid?
464
00:18:45,427 --> 00:18:48,028
No, I said you were
more into Wheel than Jeps.
465
00:18:48,062 --> 00:18:49,096
Melanie, don't let
your jealousy
466
00:18:49,131 --> 00:18:50,331
and your insecurity get
the best of you.
467
00:18:50,365 --> 00:18:51,798
Oh, and who said
I was jealous and insecure?
468
00:18:51,833 --> 00:18:53,567
You did!
469
00:18:53,602 --> 00:18:56,370
Well, you didn't have
to repeat it!
470
00:18:56,404 --> 00:18:58,939
And if I actually were
on Wheel right now,
471
00:18:58,973 --> 00:19:00,107
I would buy a vowel
472
00:19:00,142 --> 00:19:02,610
and put some
impolite consonants around it
473
00:19:02,644 --> 00:19:05,977
and then add
the word "you"!
474
00:19:07,182 --> 00:19:08,649
You can't add words
on Wheel of Fortune!
475
00:19:08,683 --> 00:19:12,016
I just play
to have fun!
476
00:19:13,455 --> 00:19:16,190
[Door slams]
477
00:19:16,224 --> 00:19:19,557
This never happens
on Password.
478
00:19:26,166 --> 00:19:28,033
See, this is what happens
when friends date friends.
479
00:19:28,068 --> 00:19:31,401
- Oh, so now it's my fault!
- Well, it's not my fault.
480
00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:33,404
[Both sigh]
481
00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:38,144
So I guess
this is our first fight.
482
00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:41,563
I guess so.
483
00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:42,797
I hate fighting.
484
00:19:42,832 --> 00:19:44,599
I prefer to keep things
to myself
485
00:19:44,633 --> 00:19:47,268
and let 'em simmer
for 15, 20 years.
486
00:19:47,302 --> 00:19:48,536
I'm a bolter.
487
00:19:48,571 --> 00:19:51,904
There's no problem
I can't run away from.
488
00:19:52,842 --> 00:19:55,643
So why aren't you
running away now?
489
00:19:55,678 --> 00:19:59,011
I'm full of truffle butter
and truffle wine.
490
00:20:00,916 --> 00:20:03,118
And I'm crazy about you.
491
00:20:04,152 --> 00:20:06,485
I'm crazy about you too.
492
00:20:08,123 --> 00:20:10,258
I'm really sorry I made you
give up the bachelor thing.
493
00:20:10,343 --> 00:20:11,809
I guess I'm just worried,
you know,
494
00:20:11,844 --> 00:20:14,012
that--that you still want
to be eligible.
495
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:16,248
No, no. I-I don't want
to be eligible.
496
00:20:16,282 --> 00:20:18,049
I think I just liked
the bragging rights
497
00:20:18,083 --> 00:20:20,185
of the bachelor thing.
498
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,987
Truth is
I love being with you,
499
00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:24,523
and I want
the world to know.
500
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:26,057
In fact,
I've been thinking
501
00:20:26,091 --> 00:20:28,660
we should tell everyone
at the office about us.
502
00:20:28,694 --> 00:20:30,128
I'd like that.
503
00:20:30,163 --> 00:20:31,663
Mm.
[Smooches]
504
00:20:31,697 --> 00:20:33,532
And I'm really getting used
to the soul patch.
505
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,634
No, you're not.
I'll shave tomorrow.
506
00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:37,345
Or tonight, your choice.
[Both chuckle]
507
00:20:37,346 --> 00:20:42,735
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
508
00:20:42,785 --> 00:20:47,335
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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