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1
00:00:08,834 --> 00:00:12,167
Hot in Cleveland is recorded
in front of a live studio audience.
2
00:00:13,704 --> 00:00:17,037
Oh, there you are, Elka.
I brought the loot.
3
00:00:18,927 --> 00:00:21,030
We've been over this,
Mamie Sue.
4
00:00:21,064 --> 00:00:24,597
"Loot" makes it sound like
we're pirates.
5
00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:28,181
I'm sorry.
I got the Benjamins.
6
00:00:29,436 --> 00:00:32,174
It's all about
the Benjamins.
7
00:00:35,112 --> 00:00:38,581
What are you doing
with all that money?
8
00:00:38,615 --> 00:00:40,889
What money?
9
00:00:41,422 --> 00:00:43,757
Elka, what the hell
is going on?
10
00:00:44,292 --> 00:00:48,625
Well, if you must know,
we've started a business.
11
00:00:49,132 --> 00:00:52,465
It's a dating service
for seniors. Right?
12
00:00:52,907 --> 00:00:55,440
Sure. It's called
Cleveland...
13
00:00:56,107 --> 00:00:57,240
GILFS.
14
00:01:00,255 --> 00:01:03,588
Uh... Grandmothers
I'd like to friend.
15
00:01:06,166 --> 00:01:09,199
So that's what all
the secrecy has been about?
16
00:01:09,287 --> 00:01:11,322
That's why you're back in school
getting a business degree?
17
00:01:11,357 --> 00:01:13,193
Yep, that's why.
18
00:01:13,727 --> 00:01:15,598
That's a good idea.
19
00:01:17,834 --> 00:01:19,500
It is a good idea.
20
00:01:19,534 --> 00:01:22,567
And a great cover
for our real business.
21
00:01:22,937 --> 00:01:25,672
And maybe I could use it
to meet someone.
22
00:01:25,706 --> 00:01:28,075
And then I could double date
with you and Pierre.
23
00:01:28,109 --> 00:01:31,212
Oh, I'd be nervous
bringing another guy
24
00:01:31,247 --> 00:01:34,580
on a date with Pierre.
25
00:01:35,219 --> 00:01:36,888
You're right,
we might end up
26
00:01:36,922 --> 00:01:40,255
both going home alone.
27
00:01:43,398 --> 00:01:45,933
Oh, honey,
were you up all night?
28
00:01:45,967 --> 00:01:48,502
How could I sleep?
I'm losing my mind.
29
00:01:48,536 --> 00:01:50,972
Okay, worst-case scenario:
30
00:01:51,007 --> 00:01:53,475
Your boss overheard you say
you're in love with him.
31
00:01:53,510 --> 00:01:55,111
Now he's on vacation
with his girlfriend,
32
00:01:55,145 --> 00:01:57,080
laughing about it.
33
00:01:57,114 --> 00:01:59,116
And when Chloe,
his ex-wife--
34
00:01:59,150 --> 00:02:00,852
also your boss--
finds out,
35
00:02:00,886 --> 00:02:04,089
you'll be humiliated,
alone, and fired.
36
00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:08,262
Oh, God, if I wasn't catholic
and didn't have two kids
37
00:02:08,296 --> 00:02:09,663
and I didn't have
a dentist appointment tomorrow
38
00:02:09,698 --> 00:02:11,098
that would be so rude
to cancel this late,
39
00:02:11,133 --> 00:02:13,935
I'd kill myself.
40
00:02:13,970 --> 00:02:16,572
I know,
I'll send him a text
41
00:02:16,606 --> 00:02:17,640
and tell him
it was all a joke.
42
00:02:17,674 --> 00:02:19,342
Oh, I don't know, Melanie.
43
00:02:19,377 --> 00:02:20,811
No, no, no, no.
This is good, this is good.
44
00:02:20,845 --> 00:02:22,913
I'll say it was
an elaborate prank.
45
00:02:22,948 --> 00:02:25,816
I punked him. And send.
That'll fix it.
46
00:02:25,850 --> 00:02:27,218
No, it won't.
47
00:02:27,252 --> 00:02:29,353
Why would I pull
such an elaborate prank?
48
00:02:29,388 --> 00:02:31,290
And how could I know
that he'd overhear me?
49
00:02:31,324 --> 00:02:34,657
And why did autocorrect
change "punked" to "puked"?
50
00:02:36,798 --> 00:02:40,101
And now Alec
and his girlfriend Carmen
51
00:02:40,135 --> 00:02:41,469
have something else
to laugh about
52
00:02:41,504 --> 00:02:42,938
in between bouts
of lovemaking.
53
00:02:42,972 --> 00:02:46,305
I could just see it now...
Her on top of him...
54
00:02:46,843 --> 00:02:49,246
How do you know
she's on top?
55
00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:51,081
It's early in the day.
56
00:02:51,115 --> 00:02:54,448
She doesn't want
to mess up her hair.
57
00:02:54,619 --> 00:02:56,822
Okay, so what should I do?
58
00:02:57,256 --> 00:02:58,424
Call Victoria.
59
00:02:58,458 --> 00:03:00,259
She's always good
for an asinine scheme.
60
00:03:00,293 --> 00:03:02,495
No, no, I don't want
to bug Victoria.
61
00:03:02,529 --> 00:03:03,829
It's her first day
of rehearsal.
62
00:03:03,863 --> 00:03:05,531
You're right.
I'm sure she's busy
63
00:03:05,565 --> 00:03:08,200
doing something asinine
already.
64
00:03:08,235 --> 00:03:10,803
An excellent question,
Barbara.
65
00:03:10,838 --> 00:03:13,573
How do I feel being
in my first Woody Allen movie,
66
00:03:13,607 --> 00:03:16,109
starring opposite
Sir Emmet Lawson?
67
00:03:16,144 --> 00:03:18,879
How don't I feel?
68
00:03:19,981 --> 00:03:21,141
Victoria, are you in there?
69
00:03:21,149 --> 00:03:24,019
Oh, uh, yes, Emmet.
Come in.
70
00:03:25,053 --> 00:03:27,886
Terrific job this morning,
my love. Brava!
71
00:03:28,325 --> 00:03:29,859
Oh, you really mean it?
72
00:03:29,893 --> 00:03:31,661
You are the real deal, kid.
73
00:03:31,695 --> 00:03:33,730
Oh, coming from you,
that means so much.
74
00:03:33,764 --> 00:03:35,498
You can't imagine.
75
00:03:35,533 --> 00:03:37,835
I've also got something
to tell you.
76
00:03:37,869 --> 00:03:39,436
Oh...
77
00:03:39,471 --> 00:03:42,073
Excuse me.
Just my Google alert.
78
00:03:42,107 --> 00:03:44,876
Yeah, mine too.
Oh, my God.
79
00:03:44,910 --> 00:03:48,243
TMZ is reporting that
we are having an affair.
80
00:03:48,514 --> 00:03:50,682
That's what I came
to tell you.
81
00:03:54,514 --> 00:03:59,482
Sync, corrected by Alice
Resync for 720p by Baqinardo www.addic7ed.com
82
00:04:00,629 --> 00:04:03,598
Yes! Oh, oh!
83
00:04:05,567 --> 00:04:08,269
Yes! Don't ever stop!
84
00:04:08,303 --> 00:04:10,371
Hey, you think
'they're buying it out there?
85
00:04:10,406 --> 00:04:12,207
Oh, trust me.
Half the crew is
86
00:04:12,241 --> 00:04:14,643
on the phone
to TMZ already.
87
00:04:14,677 --> 00:04:16,412
Nothing like a bit
of juicy gossip
88
00:04:16,446 --> 00:04:18,147
to keep your name
in the papers
89
00:04:18,182 --> 00:04:20,116
and get your movie
trending.
90
00:04:20,750 --> 00:04:22,085
I'm getting
a little nauseous.
91
00:04:22,419 --> 00:04:24,921
How much longer do
we have to keep doing this?
92
00:04:24,956 --> 00:04:26,189
It's only been
three minutes.
93
00:04:26,224 --> 00:04:27,290
I have my reputation
to think of.
94
00:04:27,325 --> 00:04:28,759
Oh.
95
00:04:28,793 --> 00:04:31,361
You're really good at this
whole fake relationship thing.
96
00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:33,698
- Do you do this regularly?
- Oh, absolutely.
97
00:04:33,732 --> 00:04:35,934
I once carried on
a six-month romance
98
00:04:35,968 --> 00:04:37,302
- with Helena Bonham Carter.
- Oh.
99
00:04:37,336 --> 00:04:38,671
Never met her.
100
00:04:40,305 --> 00:04:42,174
- Big finish?
- Please.
101
00:04:45,012 --> 00:04:48,345
Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!
102
00:04:52,252 --> 00:04:54,320
And... Scene.
103
00:04:56,824 --> 00:04:58,291
Oh, it's just so flattering.
104
00:04:58,325 --> 00:05:01,595
An actor of Emmet's caliber
can have his pick of actresses
105
00:05:01,629 --> 00:05:03,797
to have
a fake romance with.
106
00:05:03,831 --> 00:05:06,065
Are you sure
you're really faking it,
107
00:05:06,099 --> 00:05:08,034
not faking faking it?
108
00:05:08,068 --> 00:05:10,136
Because it seems like
you genuinely like him.
109
00:05:10,170 --> 00:05:13,503
No, no, no, no,
my fakery is sincere.
110
00:05:14,441 --> 00:05:17,110
Well, at least you know
Emmet fake-loves you.
111
00:05:17,144 --> 00:05:19,146
I have no idea
how Alec feels about me.
112
00:05:19,181 --> 00:05:21,349
And I can't check my phone
because Joy took it.
113
00:05:22,283 --> 00:05:24,996
Friends don't let friends
text stupid.
114
00:05:26,055 --> 00:05:28,090
Oh, you texted him?
115
00:05:28,124 --> 00:05:29,525
Just a few times.
116
00:05:29,559 --> 00:05:32,594
Eight times!
I tried to stop her.
117
00:05:32,628 --> 00:05:34,529
No, you didn't.
All you said was,
118
00:05:34,564 --> 00:05:37,065
"Oh, I don't know, Melanie."
119
00:05:41,570 --> 00:05:43,705
Anyway, he didn't write back,
and I couldn't stand it,
120
00:05:43,739 --> 00:05:46,842
so then I texted--
"Sorry I texted before.
121
00:05:46,876 --> 00:05:49,745
Shouldn't have bothered you
on vacay."
122
00:05:49,779 --> 00:05:51,847
I was sure
he'd acknowledge that.
123
00:05:51,881 --> 00:05:54,950
But he didn't, so...
"Hi again.
124
00:05:54,985 --> 00:05:57,353
"I know I said I shouldn't
have texted before,
125
00:05:57,387 --> 00:05:59,021
"but could you just
text back 'K'
126
00:05:59,055 --> 00:06:01,256
so I know you're safe?"
127
00:06:01,291 --> 00:06:03,425
- And?
- Nothing.
128
00:06:03,460 --> 00:06:05,328
So to calm down,
I had a little wine.
129
00:06:05,362 --> 00:06:08,695
Which brings us to...
"Hey, numbnuts, what gives?"
130
00:06:12,302 --> 00:06:15,204
Excuse me, Joy,
Elka and I need help
131
00:06:15,238 --> 00:06:16,705
opening a bottle.
132
00:06:16,740 --> 00:06:19,808
May we please borrow
your big man hands?
133
00:06:26,450 --> 00:06:29,783
Good lord, it's
1,000 degrees in here.
134
00:06:30,254 --> 00:06:33,587
Menopause.
135
00:06:33,824 --> 00:06:37,126
Oh, would you mind
looking over this ad I wrote
136
00:06:37,161 --> 00:06:38,761
for Cleveland GILFS?
137
00:06:38,795 --> 00:06:40,729
Elka doesn't think
it's sexy enough.
138
00:06:40,764 --> 00:06:44,097
If this is sexy,
I'm Rihanna.
139
00:06:45,367 --> 00:06:47,700
There you go
making up words again.
140
00:06:49,704 --> 00:06:51,837
I know, Joy can
read it out loud
141
00:06:51,874 --> 00:06:53,074
and then we'll decide.
142
00:06:53,108 --> 00:06:55,409
No, not Joy.
143
00:06:55,444 --> 00:06:57,945
British voices
are not sexy.
144
00:06:57,979 --> 00:07:00,214
Oh, really?
145
00:07:00,248 --> 00:07:02,016
Well, I'll just get
my reading glasses
146
00:07:02,051 --> 00:07:04,486
and we'll see
who's sexy.
147
00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:07,155
If Elka holds the pages
far enough away,
148
00:07:07,189 --> 00:07:08,657
you won't need glasses.
149
00:07:09,191 --> 00:07:10,926
All right.
150
00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:12,628
God, it's hot in here.
151
00:07:12,662 --> 00:07:14,530
Well, take off
your sweater.
152
00:07:14,564 --> 00:07:17,897
And I'll point the fan
at you.
153
00:07:20,537 --> 00:07:23,438
Hi there.
154
00:07:23,473 --> 00:07:25,940
Are you looking
for some inappropriate fun
155
00:07:25,975 --> 00:07:29,308
with some age-appropriate
women?
156
00:07:29,679 --> 00:07:31,313
Oh, thank God.
157
00:07:31,347 --> 00:07:33,415
- Is that Al--
- Dat, dat, dat!
158
00:07:33,450 --> 00:07:35,784
Ah, it's from Chloe.
159
00:07:35,819 --> 00:07:38,053
Oh, she can't
reach Alec either.
160
00:07:38,088 --> 00:07:41,056
- She's texted him ten times.
- Ten times?
161
00:07:41,091 --> 00:07:44,226
Wow.
Talk about needy.
162
00:07:44,261 --> 00:07:46,362
Oh, and she saw on PerezHilton
163
00:07:46,396 --> 00:07:49,729
that Emmet and I are having
a steamy, on-set affair.
164
00:07:50,367 --> 00:07:52,235
Oh, and apparently
we're think about
165
00:07:52,269 --> 00:07:55,602
adopting a baby
from Malawi.
166
00:07:55,706 --> 00:07:57,740
We are such givers.
167
00:07:59,676 --> 00:08:03,009
So if you're 5'11"
or used to be,
168
00:08:05,049 --> 00:08:07,283
enjoy short walks
on the beach
169
00:08:07,318 --> 00:08:10,086
and back-friendly
lovemaking,
170
00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:12,121
call Cleveland GILFS.
171
00:08:12,156 --> 00:08:15,489
We put the sex
in "Sexagenarian."
172
00:08:17,694 --> 00:08:19,529
See? Hot.
173
00:08:19,563 --> 00:08:20,730
I was wrong.
174
00:08:20,764 --> 00:08:23,432
I guess there's no fool
like an old fool.
175
00:08:23,467 --> 00:08:25,067
Thank you.
176
00:08:27,102 --> 00:08:29,905
So did we get
the old fool on tape?
177
00:08:29,906 --> 00:08:31,239
Let's take a look.
178
00:08:35,978 --> 00:08:38,413
So if you're 5'11"
179
00:08:38,448 --> 00:08:41,583
or used to be...
180
00:08:41,617 --> 00:08:43,852
Put it on the website.
181
00:08:43,887 --> 00:08:46,855
You realize poor Joy
is going to be hit on
182
00:08:46,890 --> 00:08:48,524
by every geezer in town.
183
00:08:48,558 --> 00:08:51,360
Win-Win.
184
00:08:55,244 --> 00:08:57,077
How was school?
185
00:08:57,544 --> 00:08:58,877
How old do I look?
186
00:08:58,947 --> 00:09:01,383
35. Same as me. Why?
187
00:09:01,767 --> 00:09:04,800
All these old men keep
leering and waving at me.
188
00:09:06,739 --> 00:09:09,774
And calling me a "tomato."
189
00:09:09,809 --> 00:09:11,209
They followed me
around the mall
190
00:09:11,244 --> 00:09:14,577
like a pack
of slow-moving zombies.
191
00:09:15,481 --> 00:09:18,814
Luckily, I was able to climb
a few stairs and lose them.
192
00:09:20,453 --> 00:09:22,720
Oh, my God, this is great.
193
00:09:22,755 --> 00:09:24,389
Alec just posted
to his Facebook page.
194
00:09:24,423 --> 00:09:25,857
"Sorry I'm not returning
messages,
195
00:09:25,891 --> 00:09:28,360
but I'm on vacation
and I left my phone at home."
196
00:09:28,394 --> 00:09:29,861
He hasn't seen my texts.
197
00:09:29,896 --> 00:09:31,463
He doesn't think
I'm an idiot.
198
00:09:31,497 --> 00:09:33,398
I hate to bring up
the obvious,
199
00:09:33,432 --> 00:09:35,867
but he will see them
when he gets back.
200
00:09:35,902 --> 00:09:38,637
And before you ask,
I will not help you
201
00:09:38,671 --> 00:09:41,573
break into his apartment
so you can delete your messages.
202
00:09:42,107 --> 00:09:44,940
That is a great idea!
203
00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:48,760
You know, between this
and the stair trick,
204
00:09:49,298 --> 00:09:51,699
you're kind of a genius.
205
00:09:51,734 --> 00:09:55,336
Nice try.
But you can't trick Joy Scroggs
206
00:09:55,337 --> 00:09:58,670
into doing something stupid
with a little flattery.
207
00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:01,275
Joy, what are you doing
in this ad
208
00:10:01,310 --> 00:10:03,277
for something called
"Cleveland GILFS"?
209
00:10:03,312 --> 00:10:05,179
Oh, dear God!
210
00:10:05,214 --> 00:10:08,547
So if you're 5'11"
or used to be,
211
00:10:10,486 --> 00:10:12,921
enjoy short walks
on the beach
212
00:10:12,955 --> 00:10:15,423
and back-friendly
lovemaking...
213
00:10:15,458 --> 00:10:18,791
Elka, Mamie Sue,
get out here right now!
214
00:10:20,596 --> 00:10:23,532
Well, what do you two have
to say for yourselves?
215
00:10:23,566 --> 00:10:25,734
I'm so sorry.
216
00:10:25,768 --> 00:10:28,703
We never meant
for you to find out.
217
00:10:30,473 --> 00:10:32,975
You don't have to date
anyone.
218
00:10:33,009 --> 00:10:36,045
You're just there to get
the rubes in the tent.
219
00:10:36,079 --> 00:10:39,412
It's a classic
bait and switch.
220
00:10:39,516 --> 00:10:42,218
We were just saying
how smart we were to go with you
221
00:10:42,252 --> 00:10:44,386
instead of Victoria
or Melanie.
222
00:10:44,421 --> 00:10:47,323
- Well, that's nice.
- No, it's not.
223
00:10:47,357 --> 00:10:49,424
Hello, everyone.
224
00:10:49,459 --> 00:10:51,126
Wow!
225
00:10:51,161 --> 00:10:54,494
We should have gone
with Victoria.
226
00:10:54,931 --> 00:10:56,932
What are you doing
all dolled up?
227
00:10:56,966 --> 00:10:58,667
I have a date.
228
00:10:58,701 --> 00:11:00,969
My fake lover is taking me
to a real dinner.
229
00:11:01,003 --> 00:11:02,738
Emmet Lawson is
coming here?
230
00:11:02,772 --> 00:11:05,808
Mmhmm.
231
00:11:08,279 --> 00:11:11,612
Victoria,
you look glorious!
232
00:11:11,683 --> 00:11:14,652
And, Melanie,
you're a vision.
233
00:11:14,686 --> 00:11:16,854
- Oh, and this is Joy.
- Hi.
234
00:11:16,888 --> 00:11:19,924
Has anyone ever told you
you look like Kate Beckinsale?
235
00:11:20,498 --> 00:11:22,291
Yes!
236
00:11:25,865 --> 00:11:28,133
Oh, and this is Elka
and Mamie Sue.
237
00:11:28,167 --> 00:11:29,267
Enchante.
238
00:11:29,302 --> 00:11:32,304
Oh, say,
"By Odin's sword,
239
00:11:32,338 --> 00:11:35,274
I will make the earth tremble
with my force."
240
00:11:35,308 --> 00:11:37,676
From a little film called
Wars of Asgard.
241
00:11:37,710 --> 00:11:38,677
Yes.
242
00:11:38,711 --> 00:11:40,912
"By Odin's sword,
243
00:11:40,947 --> 00:11:43,315
I will make the earth tremble
with my force."
244
00:11:45,518 --> 00:11:48,153
Now say "Love dies..."
245
00:11:48,187 --> 00:11:49,687
"...but its echoes never do."
246
00:11:49,722 --> 00:11:52,657
From the film
A Hymn at Evensong.
247
00:11:52,691 --> 00:11:55,026
A favorite.
248
00:11:55,061 --> 00:11:58,062
Now say,
"I don't care who's watching,
249
00:11:58,096 --> 00:12:01,429
I want to take you
right now."
250
00:12:07,072 --> 00:12:09,339
What film is that from?
I don't recall it.
251
00:12:09,874 --> 00:12:11,707
Just say it.
252
00:12:14,845 --> 00:12:17,678
Okay, I think maybe
it's time for us to leave.
253
00:12:18,116 --> 00:12:20,417
Actually, there's something
I need to tell you.
254
00:12:20,452 --> 00:12:23,487
Oh...
255
00:12:23,522 --> 00:12:26,855
Oh, another Google alert.
What have we done now?
256
00:12:29,727 --> 00:12:30,995
We've broken up?
257
00:12:31,029 --> 00:12:34,064
I'm so sorry, Victoria.
Truly.
258
00:12:34,098 --> 00:12:36,500
But my agent said that
you weren't testing very well.
259
00:12:37,034 --> 00:12:39,867
So now I'm having a fake affair
with Heidi Klum...
260
00:12:40,973 --> 00:12:42,506
Whom, I'm told,
is very nice.
261
00:12:43,041 --> 00:12:45,242
She is barely
in the movie.
262
00:12:45,276 --> 00:12:47,277
Yes, it's a rotten business.
263
00:12:47,312 --> 00:12:49,279
But we still have
our real friendship.
264
00:12:49,314 --> 00:12:51,548
Why couldn't I have
dumped you?
265
00:12:51,583 --> 00:12:53,050
You know that's not
the way it is.
266
00:12:53,084 --> 00:12:56,417
I'm a bigger star.
267
00:12:57,956 --> 00:12:59,790
Just go.
268
00:12:59,825 --> 00:13:02,160
Look, that came out wrong.
269
00:13:02,194 --> 00:13:03,294
You're more than
fake hurt, aren't you?
270
00:13:03,328 --> 00:13:04,862
Get out.
271
00:13:05,297 --> 00:13:08,230
As you wish.
Good night.
272
00:13:11,569 --> 00:13:13,437
Oh, honey,
are you okay?
273
00:13:13,871 --> 00:13:15,372
No.
274
00:13:15,406 --> 00:13:17,608
You do have real feelings
for him, don't you?
275
00:13:17,892 --> 00:13:20,144
Of course not.
276
00:13:20,178 --> 00:13:21,745
I wouldn't make
the rookie mistake
277
00:13:21,780 --> 00:13:25,113
of falling for my co-star,
no matter how handsome
278
00:13:25,683 --> 00:13:28,516
and charming
and right he is for me
279
00:13:28,620 --> 00:13:31,221
in hundreds of ways.
280
00:13:31,256 --> 00:13:36,477
I'm just angry because
he cares so little for me
281
00:13:36,478 --> 00:13:38,680
that he can just switch
fake relationships
282
00:13:38,714 --> 00:13:41,383
without any regard
for my feelings.
283
00:13:42,417 --> 00:13:44,385
If it's any consolation,
284
00:13:44,420 --> 00:13:47,753
Heidi Klum's not going
to stay with him.
285
00:13:49,256 --> 00:13:50,358
Why do you say that?
286
00:13:50,792 --> 00:13:52,026
She was married to Seal.
287
00:13:52,660 --> 00:13:54,595
And... how to put this?
288
00:13:55,130 --> 00:13:57,398
Once you've had
carnal relations
289
00:13:57,432 --> 00:14:00,765
with a gentleman
of African descent...
290
00:14:01,803 --> 00:14:04,605
It's quite unusual
to go back.
291
00:14:16,574 --> 00:14:18,374
Hurry up before
Alec's neighbors see us.
292
00:14:18,459 --> 00:14:20,226
Don't worry,
I got this.
293
00:14:20,661 --> 00:14:21,961
Where did you learn
to pick a lock?
294
00:14:21,995 --> 00:14:23,629
A Lifetime Original movie,
295
00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:25,765
Don't Go Breaking Into
My Heart.
296
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,269
Oh, Victoria,
you got a Google alert.
297
00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:31,804
What's it say?
298
00:14:32,238 --> 00:14:33,772
Nothing.
299
00:14:33,807 --> 00:14:35,975
It's about Emmet, isn't it?
Just read it.
300
00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:37,243
Okay.
301
00:14:37,277 --> 00:14:39,912
"Emmet Lawson
linked with Heidi Klum,
302
00:14:39,946 --> 00:14:42,481
tells Victoria chase
'You're out.'"
303
00:14:43,015 --> 00:14:44,149
Oh.
304
00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:45,617
I'm sorry, sweetie.
305
00:14:45,652 --> 00:14:48,520
Yeah, well, he's the one
who's gonna be sorry.
306
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:51,222
Emmet and I are doing
our behind-the-scenes interview
307
00:14:51,257 --> 00:14:52,724
for the DVD tomorrow,
308
00:14:52,758 --> 00:14:56,091
and I'm not sure that I'm going
to be able to stay civil.
309
00:14:56,762 --> 00:14:59,031
Spoiler alert, I'm not.
310
00:15:00,065 --> 00:15:01,498
And presto.
311
00:15:05,737 --> 00:15:07,138
I don't understand.
312
00:15:07,172 --> 00:15:10,341
It worked every time
on the movie.
313
00:15:10,375 --> 00:15:12,444
Excuse me.
314
00:15:13,578 --> 00:15:16,911
I just got a call
that three women
315
00:15:17,014 --> 00:15:19,883
were breaking into
an apartment.
316
00:15:19,917 --> 00:15:21,818
You look familiar.
317
00:15:21,853 --> 00:15:24,554
You don't.
318
00:15:24,588 --> 00:15:26,523
But you do.
319
00:15:26,557 --> 00:15:28,892
I'm guessing you have
a computer.
320
00:15:28,926 --> 00:15:32,259
That's it! You're from
clevelandgilfs.com.
321
00:15:32,730 --> 00:15:36,063
Yes, I'm their Spokesgilf.
322
00:15:37,701 --> 00:15:39,702
Hey, if you help us out,
323
00:15:39,737 --> 00:15:41,271
maybe you two can make
a love connection.
324
00:15:41,305 --> 00:15:42,405
Melanie!
325
00:15:42,439 --> 00:15:44,507
She needs to get in there
and leave a note
326
00:15:44,542 --> 00:15:45,809
to break up
with her boyfriend,
327
00:15:45,843 --> 00:15:48,378
and then she'll be free
to date you.
328
00:15:48,413 --> 00:15:51,581
Fine! One dinner.
329
00:15:51,616 --> 00:15:52,783
I'll pick you up at 8:00.
330
00:15:52,817 --> 00:15:55,118
P.M.?
331
00:15:58,322 --> 00:16:01,124
Found it! Found it! Ha!
332
00:16:01,158 --> 00:16:03,126
Delete, delete...
333
00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:06,062
Wow, I am not
a good drunk speller.
334
00:16:06,096 --> 00:16:09,429
So long, numbnuts.
Okay, that's done.
335
00:16:09,834 --> 00:16:11,134
So I guess the only
logical thing
336
00:16:11,169 --> 00:16:13,170
is for us to get out
of here.
337
00:16:16,507 --> 00:16:18,875
We can't leave a man's
apartment without snooping.
338
00:16:18,910 --> 00:16:20,277
No, it's practically
expected.
339
00:16:20,311 --> 00:16:21,978
Almost wrong not to.
340
00:16:22,013 --> 00:16:25,346
- Dibs on the medicine cabinet.
- Oh, right behind you.
341
00:16:26,852 --> 00:16:29,654
Mm.
342
00:16:29,688 --> 00:16:32,023
- Ahh!
- Aah!
343
00:16:32,058 --> 00:16:33,091
Who the hell are you?
344
00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:34,660
Uh... Uh...
345
00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:36,295
You know what?
I don't care.
346
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,164
I was gonna dump Alec's stuff
at the front door,
347
00:16:38,198 --> 00:16:39,232
but it was open, so...
348
00:16:39,266 --> 00:16:41,334
Wait, Carmen--
349
00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:44,503
and don't bother yourself
with how I know your name--
350
00:16:44,538 --> 00:16:47,871
um, aren't you supposed to be
in Cozumel with Alec?
351
00:16:48,475 --> 00:16:51,043
He called me at the last
minute and told me not to come.
352
00:16:51,078 --> 00:16:53,146
He said he needed time
to think.
353
00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:56,513
Look at me. What is there
to think about?
354
00:16:57,451 --> 00:17:00,284
Oh, my God, you guys,
this is great.
355
00:17:00,405 --> 00:17:02,840
Alec left his girlfriend
at home, possibly because of me.
356
00:17:02,875 --> 00:17:04,876
This is fantastic news!
357
00:17:04,910 --> 00:17:08,243
Even better news in here.
Extra-large condoms.
358
00:17:09,865 --> 00:17:11,200
No, never mind.
359
00:17:11,284 --> 00:17:14,287
Just an extra-large box
of condoms.
360
00:17:18,167 --> 00:17:19,407
Victoria,
I'll start with you.
361
00:17:19,935 --> 00:17:22,603
How do you feel about working
with Emmet Lawson?
362
00:17:22,638 --> 00:17:25,971
Hm.
How don't I feel?
363
00:17:26,475 --> 00:17:29,043
You know, Emmet has
that rare quality in an actor
364
00:17:29,078 --> 00:17:31,279
of total and complete
selfishness.
365
00:17:31,313 --> 00:17:33,882
The man
is a consummate fraud...
366
00:17:33,916 --> 00:17:37,018
In a good way.
367
00:17:37,052 --> 00:17:39,487
It's been a treat,
working with Victoria as well.
368
00:17:39,522 --> 00:17:42,855
Her sensitivity
borders on the unhinged...
369
00:17:43,625 --> 00:17:45,559
Also in a good way.
370
00:17:45,594 --> 00:17:48,927
You know, in acting,
you have to be in the moment.
371
00:17:49,465 --> 00:17:52,798
See? That's what
the moment called for.
372
00:17:53,502 --> 00:17:54,902
An excellent example
373
00:17:54,937 --> 00:17:58,270
of that unhinged quality
I mentioned earlier.
374
00:17:58,473 --> 00:18:01,275
In the movie, you play exes
who hate each other
375
00:18:01,310 --> 00:18:02,777
but fall in love again.
376
00:18:02,811 --> 00:18:05,246
How, as actors, do you make
this transition believable?
377
00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:06,915
Yes, well,
where there's anger,
378
00:18:06,949 --> 00:18:08,316
there's also usually
passion,
379
00:18:08,351 --> 00:18:09,784
and you need to
have passion
380
00:18:09,819 --> 00:18:11,586
when you're dealing
with such an infuriating,
381
00:18:11,621 --> 00:18:14,954
albeit beautiful character.
382
00:18:15,191 --> 00:18:17,158
You think that I'm--
I mean,
383
00:18:17,193 --> 00:18:19,027
my character is beautiful?
384
00:18:19,061 --> 00:18:22,394
Of course.
It almost hurts to look at her.
385
00:18:23,231 --> 00:18:25,500
Well, how can
this beautiful character
386
00:18:25,534 --> 00:18:27,368
not respond
to the dashing man,
387
00:18:27,403 --> 00:18:29,471
no matter how badly
he treated her?
388
00:18:29,505 --> 00:18:30,973
Well, he didn't mean
to treat her badly.
389
00:18:31,007 --> 00:18:32,608
In fact, it's the last thing
he'd ever want to do
390
00:18:32,643 --> 00:18:33,676
to somebody he cares about.
391
00:18:33,710 --> 00:18:34,744
Well, if he cared
about her,
392
00:18:34,778 --> 00:18:36,045
then why
hasn't he told her?
393
00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:37,347
Perhaps
she didn't indicate
394
00:18:37,382 --> 00:18:38,615
that she genuinely
cares for him.
395
00:18:38,650 --> 00:18:41,385
Well, maybe I'm--
she's old-fashioned
396
00:18:41,420 --> 00:18:43,321
and believes that
it's the man's job
397
00:18:43,355 --> 00:18:44,522
to initiate the pursuit.
398
00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:45,657
I'm getting
a little lost here.
399
00:18:45,691 --> 00:18:47,592
Oh, shut up.
400
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:49,261
I was devastated
last night
401
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:51,296
when you went on your date
with Heidi Klum.
402
00:18:51,830 --> 00:18:55,663
Oh, Victoria,
I hated dating Heidi Klum.
403
00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:59,836
Heidi Klum and I
are no longer an item.
404
00:18:59,873 --> 00:19:01,373
I'm not surprised.
405
00:19:01,408 --> 00:19:04,043
How to put this?
Once you go black--
406
00:19:04,077 --> 00:19:06,480
Okay, you know what?
It's time for you to go now.
407
00:19:11,986 --> 00:19:13,787
So, here we are.
408
00:19:14,322 --> 00:19:16,324
Yes, here we are.
409
00:19:16,658 --> 00:19:18,292
The prelude to a kiss.
410
00:19:18,327 --> 00:19:20,061
Yes, but--
411
00:19:20,095 --> 00:19:22,664
Ah, the "Yes, but."
412
00:19:22,698 --> 00:19:24,566
Natural caution
from two people
413
00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:26,902
who've been here before.
414
00:19:27,286 --> 00:19:28,871
Cards on the table.
415
00:19:28,905 --> 00:19:30,339
I've had numerous
failed relationships
416
00:19:30,374 --> 00:19:31,874
and been married
four times.
417
00:19:31,908 --> 00:19:35,241
I've been married five times,
not that it's a competition.
418
00:19:36,714 --> 00:19:40,047
On the one hand, we should
proceed with caution.
419
00:19:40,351 --> 00:19:42,152
On the other hand,
420
00:19:42,187 --> 00:19:45,520
I sense your other hand
proceeding with abandon.
421
00:19:51,412 --> 00:19:53,646
"By Odin's sword,
422
00:19:53,681 --> 00:19:57,014
I will make the earth
tremble with my force."
423
00:20:03,625 --> 00:20:06,360
Thank you
for your business.
424
00:20:06,395 --> 00:20:09,728
Now, for an extra $50,
we can upgrade you
425
00:20:09,798 --> 00:20:13,131
to a model
with bigger headlights.
426
00:20:13,802 --> 00:20:15,837
Must you?
427
00:20:15,871 --> 00:20:19,204
That's okay.
I like 'em scrawny.
428
00:20:20,225 --> 00:20:21,359
Please bring her back
429
00:20:21,393 --> 00:20:24,726
in as close to
original condition as possible.
430
00:20:26,132 --> 00:20:28,366
Shall we, m'lady?
431
00:20:29,366 --> 00:20:32,588
Sync, corrected by Alice
Resync for 720p by Baqinardo www.addic7ed.com
432
00:20:33,588 --> 00:20:36,921
She's going to be
a good little earner.
433
00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:39,961
Oh, boy.
434
00:20:40,011 --> 00:20:44,561
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