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00:00:01,420 --> 00:00:02,818
Hot in Cleveland is recorded
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00:00:02,853 --> 00:00:04,885
in front of a live
studio audience.
3
00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:06,923
You lost my dress?
4
00:00:06,958 --> 00:00:10,301
That wasn't just any dress.
That was my magic dress.
5
00:00:10,335 --> 00:00:12,340
I always look amazing in it.
6
00:00:12,373 --> 00:00:15,644
It's form-fitting,
but it doesn't suck me in.
7
00:00:15,678 --> 00:00:17,380
I don't even have to
wear a shaper with it.
8
00:00:17,414 --> 00:00:21,318
The dress is a shaper.
Magic!
9
00:00:21,352 --> 00:00:22,319
You know what,
you don't understand.
10
00:00:22,353 --> 00:00:23,620
Let me just talk to a woman.
11
00:00:23,654 --> 00:00:26,889
Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am.
12
00:00:26,924 --> 00:00:28,590
I guess I'm not the first one
to make that mista...
13
00:00:28,625 --> 00:00:30,725
I am?
14
00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:32,860
Well, can you just text me
when you find the dress?
15
00:00:32,895 --> 00:00:33,862
Thank you.
16
00:00:33,896 --> 00:00:35,429
Unbelievable.
I know.
17
00:00:35,464 --> 00:00:38,232
Our dry-cleaner guy
is a woman?
18
00:00:38,266 --> 00:00:41,968
She's checking to see
if she delivered it
19
00:00:42,002 --> 00:00:43,235
to someone else by mistake.
20
00:00:43,270 --> 00:00:45,337
[Thuds from upstairs]
Joy's up.
21
00:00:45,371 --> 00:00:47,741
Frowns, everybody.
Frowns.
22
00:00:47,775 --> 00:00:49,443
Why are you telling me
to frown?
23
00:00:49,478 --> 00:00:52,981
When I see Joy, it's automatic.
24
00:00:53,015 --> 00:00:54,683
It's the anniversary of the day
25
00:00:54,717 --> 00:00:55,818
she was left at the altar.
26
00:00:55,852 --> 00:00:57,955
Yeah, her "non" anniversary.
27
00:00:57,989 --> 00:00:59,891
So just go easy on her, okay?
28
00:00:59,925 --> 00:01:02,662
She's extra sensitive.
Got it.
29
00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:03,997
Oh, good morning, Joy.
30
00:01:04,031 --> 00:01:05,999
I made coffee.
Poured you a cup.
31
00:01:06,033 --> 00:01:07,700
Here you go.
Oh, great. Whatever.
32
00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:08,968
I stopped at the bakery
on Franklin
33
00:01:09,002 --> 00:01:10,070
and I got you
a chocolate croissant.
34
00:01:10,104 --> 00:01:12,473
That's nice. Thanks.
35
00:01:12,507 --> 00:01:15,509
What are you doing
with that dried up old thing?
36
00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:17,077
It's my wedding bouquet.
37
00:01:17,111 --> 00:01:20,046
I was talking to the bouquet.
38
00:01:24,118 --> 00:01:25,651
[Ringtone chimes]
39
00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:27,887
Ooh, they have the number
of the woman
40
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:31,193
who has my magic dress.
41
00:01:31,227 --> 00:01:36,266
Hello, hi. Could I speak to
Jenny Van Alstyne, please?
42
00:01:41,907 --> 00:01:43,574
Listen, there was a mix-up
at the dry cleaners,
43
00:01:43,608 --> 00:01:46,077
and my dress got delivered
to her.
44
00:01:46,112 --> 00:01:49,148
So I was wondering if I could
swing by today and pick...
45
00:01:49,182 --> 00:01:52,485
Oh, today's the funeral?
46
00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:53,620
Well, it'll just take
a few minutes.
47
00:01:53,654 --> 00:01:56,623
I could be in and out...
48
00:01:56,658 --> 00:02:00,362
Yeah, I can see on some level
how that might be disrespectful,
49
00:02:00,396 --> 00:02:04,233
but if you could see me
in this dress...
50
00:02:04,267 --> 00:02:05,601
Hello?
51
00:02:05,635 --> 00:02:08,672
I'm gonna have to wait
until tomorrow.
52
00:02:08,706 --> 00:02:09,939
No, but it might be too late.
53
00:02:09,974 --> 00:02:12,108
What if the family
donates her clothes to charity
54
00:02:12,142 --> 00:02:13,209
after the funeral?
55
00:02:13,243 --> 00:02:15,177
No, no, no.
I can't lose that dress
56
00:02:15,212 --> 00:02:16,612
it's irreplaceable.
57
00:02:16,646 --> 00:02:18,113
I mean, it goes
from day to night.
58
00:02:18,148 --> 00:02:19,381
It dresses up or down.
59
00:02:19,416 --> 00:02:21,116
Ugh, I can't bear the thought
of it going
60
00:02:21,151 --> 00:02:22,517
to a homeless person.
61
00:02:22,552 --> 00:02:24,987
They'd only dress it down.
62
00:02:25,021 --> 00:02:28,224
All I need is
a couple of minutes
63
00:02:28,258 --> 00:02:30,993
in the dead woman's closet
to find my dress.
64
00:02:31,028 --> 00:02:33,563
You need to find a way
to get invited to that funeral.
65
00:02:33,597 --> 00:02:36,300
Just crash it.
66
00:02:36,334 --> 00:02:37,401
Crash a funeral?
67
00:02:37,435 --> 00:02:39,736
I crash funerals all the time.
68
00:02:39,771 --> 00:02:42,072
To meet men.
69
00:02:42,107 --> 00:02:45,476
Okay, how do we crash
the funeral?
70
00:02:45,510 --> 00:02:47,978
Well, find some details
in her obit
71
00:02:48,012 --> 00:02:49,813
so we can just blend in.
72
00:02:49,848 --> 00:02:51,415
We? What,
you're going with me?
73
00:02:51,449 --> 00:02:53,183
Well, I'm not gonna
let you have
74
00:02:53,218 --> 00:02:56,287
all those grieving hotties
to yourself.
75
00:02:56,321 --> 00:02:58,122
Okay, here's her obit.
76
00:02:58,156 --> 00:03:01,592
"Jenny Van Alstyne,
82 years old.
77
00:03:01,626 --> 00:03:03,560
Avid collector of coins..."
Boring.
78
00:03:03,595 --> 00:03:05,329
"Hummel figurines..."
Creepy.
79
00:03:05,363 --> 00:03:08,399
And hold on...
"Soap opera digest."
80
00:03:08,434 --> 00:03:11,436
She had every issue of soapopera digest ever printed.
81
00:03:11,470 --> 00:03:12,937
- So?
- So...
82
00:03:12,972 --> 00:03:16,675
I was on the cover
November 27th, 1988.
83
00:03:16,709 --> 00:03:18,544
Oh, I lost my copy years ago,
84
00:03:18,578 --> 00:03:21,114
and I have been on a mission
to find another one ever since.
85
00:03:21,148 --> 00:03:22,215
I'm going with you.
86
00:03:22,249 --> 00:03:24,718
Me too.
87
00:03:24,752 --> 00:03:26,320
I can't be alone today.
88
00:03:26,354 --> 00:03:28,589
And a funeral is the only place
I can cry in public
89
00:03:28,623 --> 00:03:31,459
where people won't ask me
what's wrong.
90
00:03:31,493 --> 00:03:35,463
And afterwards, I'll take you
to a browns game.
91
00:03:35,497 --> 00:03:38,800
It's okay to cry
in public there too.
92
00:03:49,246 --> 00:03:52,448
So what are the funeral
crasher rules?
93
00:03:52,483 --> 00:03:54,785
Number one, if you think
you're gonna get caught,
94
00:03:54,819 --> 00:03:55,953
just say you're
overcome with emotion,
95
00:03:55,987 --> 00:03:57,221
and walk away.
96
00:03:57,255 --> 00:03:59,857
Number two, when
coming up with a cover story,
97
00:03:59,891 --> 00:04:02,026
specific details
make lies more believable.
98
00:04:02,060 --> 00:04:04,829
Number three, pick an alias
99
00:04:04,863 --> 00:04:05,997
that's close to your real name
100
00:04:06,031 --> 00:04:08,332
so it'll be easy to remember.
101
00:04:08,366 --> 00:04:11,635
For you neophytes, maybe,
but I am a trained actress.
102
00:04:11,669 --> 00:04:15,572
I will me Zelda
Eugene Hackenbrook.
103
00:04:15,606 --> 00:04:17,140
Oh, the stairs are clear.
104
00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:18,408
I'm gonna go see
if I can find my dress.
105
00:04:18,442 --> 00:04:19,942
Oh, I'll come with you.
106
00:04:19,977 --> 00:04:23,512
Maybe my soap opera digest
is up there.
107
00:04:23,547 --> 00:04:26,082
So what do we do now?
108
00:04:26,116 --> 00:04:28,852
It's time to check out
the talent.
109
00:04:30,321 --> 00:04:32,322
Hello.
110
00:04:32,357 --> 00:04:33,891
Good-bye.
111
00:04:39,599 --> 00:04:42,301
She was a beautiful bride,
wasn't she?
112
00:04:42,335 --> 00:04:44,336
She looks so happy.
113
00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:47,539
The groom showed up, didn't he?
114
00:04:47,573 --> 00:04:49,374
You mean my grandfather?
115
00:04:49,409 --> 00:04:51,009
Yes, he...
He showed up.
116
00:04:51,043 --> 00:04:52,744
How did you know
my grandmother?
117
00:04:52,778 --> 00:04:56,180
We met at
a collectors convention.
118
00:04:56,215 --> 00:04:59,483
Hummel-Con.
119
00:04:59,517 --> 00:05:02,886
We talked about coins.
Nickels mostly.
120
00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:06,056
Oh, how she loved nickels.
121
00:05:06,090 --> 00:05:07,724
- Hummel-Con.
122
00:05:07,759 --> 00:05:12,629
People dress up
as famous Hummels.
123
00:05:12,664 --> 00:05:16,601
I went as wishing well girl.
124
00:05:16,635 --> 00:05:20,505
Sorry, I'm overcome
with emotion.
125
00:05:20,539 --> 00:05:22,507
Now, who needs comforting?
126
00:05:22,541 --> 00:05:25,811
Two shoulders, no waiting.
127
00:05:25,845 --> 00:05:27,679
Hi, Elka.
128
00:05:27,713 --> 00:05:30,314
I'm sorry, do I know you?
129
00:05:30,349 --> 00:05:32,416
It's Roy, from the restaurant.
130
00:05:32,451 --> 00:05:33,951
Ah... I knew a Roy...
131
00:05:33,986 --> 00:05:36,153
Who said he was gonna call me,
but never did.
132
00:05:36,187 --> 00:05:39,822
Could you find that Roy
and tell him
133
00:05:39,857 --> 00:05:42,158
Elka's not interested?
134
00:05:42,193 --> 00:05:45,228
Could you fellas
give us a moment?
135
00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:47,830
Look, I know you're
still mad at me,
136
00:05:47,864 --> 00:05:49,765
but I need to talk to you
about something.
137
00:05:49,799 --> 00:05:51,934
You've got two minutes.
138
00:05:51,968 --> 00:05:54,002
I know this sounds crazy,
139
00:05:54,037 --> 00:05:57,206
but I believe the deceased
was murdered.
140
00:05:57,240 --> 00:05:59,775
What?
141
00:05:59,809 --> 00:06:01,009
Why are you telling me this?
142
00:06:01,044 --> 00:06:03,178
Well, that night
that we went out,
143
00:06:03,213 --> 00:06:05,247
you mentioned that
you always figured out
144
00:06:05,282 --> 00:06:08,117
who the killer is
in those CSI shows
145
00:06:08,151 --> 00:06:09,952
within the first five minutes.
146
00:06:09,987 --> 00:06:14,424
That's because I recognize
the guest stars.
147
00:06:14,459 --> 00:06:17,161
You don't hire a Tony Danza
148
00:06:17,195 --> 00:06:21,633
to play a hotel concierge
with three lines.
149
00:06:21,667 --> 00:06:25,137
See, that's the insight
we need to solve this case.
150
00:06:25,171 --> 00:06:26,839
What makes you think
she was murdered?
151
00:06:26,873 --> 00:06:29,909
I live next door,
and the night she died,
152
00:06:29,943 --> 00:06:32,278
I saw her live-in nurse
burying
153
00:06:32,312 --> 00:06:36,182
what looked like a syringe
in the backyard.
154
00:06:36,216 --> 00:06:38,484
Of course, it could be nothing.
155
00:06:38,519 --> 00:06:40,987
I've got a shovel in my trunk.
156
00:06:43,190 --> 00:06:46,092
- Hey, how you doing?
- Hmm.
157
00:06:46,127 --> 00:06:48,295
Well, I've only cried
uncontrollably twice,
158
00:06:48,329 --> 00:06:50,664
so I think the funeral's
starting to cheer me up.
159
00:06:50,698 --> 00:06:53,066
- Mmm.
- Did you find your dress?
160
00:06:53,100 --> 00:06:54,734
No. It's not in any
of the closets upstairs.
161
00:06:54,768 --> 00:06:56,302
Oh, don't worry, we'll find it.
162
00:06:56,336 --> 00:06:58,304
If anyone would like
to pay their respects,
163
00:06:58,339 --> 00:07:00,239
please, feel free.
164
00:07:04,578 --> 00:07:07,213
[Gasp] Oh, my God!
165
00:07:07,247 --> 00:07:10,116
That's my dress.
166
00:07:10,150 --> 00:07:12,351
She looks beautiful,
doesn't she?
167
00:07:12,386 --> 00:07:15,855
It's the dress!
168
00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:18,080
Sync & corrections by APOLLO
www.addic7ed.com
169
00:07:25,024 --> 00:07:27,325
That was a bust.
170
00:07:27,359 --> 00:07:28,993
Those mourners were
looking at us
171
00:07:29,027 --> 00:07:30,895
like we were crazy.
Yeah.
172
00:07:30,929 --> 00:07:32,396
They didn't buy that
I was trying to get in
173
00:07:32,431 --> 00:07:36,867
a little shoveling practice
before the burial.
174
00:07:39,070 --> 00:07:40,403
You know,
we've gotta find some proof
175
00:07:40,437 --> 00:07:42,171
that Jenny didn't die
of natural causes.
176
00:07:42,205 --> 00:07:47,243
Nobody dies of
natural causes at 82.
177
00:07:47,277 --> 00:07:49,912
She was just a kid.
Yeah.
178
00:07:49,947 --> 00:07:53,149
I heard her lawyer say
she recently changed her will.
179
00:07:53,183 --> 00:07:54,851
If we can find a copy,
we can see
180
00:07:54,885 --> 00:07:59,222
if the nurse had a motive.
181
00:07:59,256 --> 00:08:05,094
On the closer, she always
checks out the computer first.
182
00:08:06,730 --> 00:08:09,498
Oh, it's password protected.
183
00:08:09,533 --> 00:08:10,967
Well, can you crack it?
184
00:08:11,001 --> 00:08:13,669
I can try.
185
00:08:13,704 --> 00:08:15,705
It's usually a grandkid's name
186
00:08:15,739 --> 00:08:17,106
or a pet's name.
187
00:08:17,140 --> 00:08:20,376
Or a hobby. Uh...
188
00:08:20,411 --> 00:08:21,778
Bingo!
189
00:08:21,812 --> 00:08:23,246
What was the password?
190
00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:25,448
"Bingo."
191
00:08:25,482 --> 00:08:27,617
You're amazing!
192
00:08:27,651 --> 00:08:34,057
Oh, look, her screensaver
is the ticklish loris.
193
00:08:34,091 --> 00:08:35,759
What is that?
194
00:08:35,793 --> 00:08:40,196
Oh, it's only the cutest
animal video ever.
195
00:08:40,231 --> 00:08:43,066
Except maybe the honey badger.
196
00:08:43,100 --> 00:08:44,734
Honey badger?
197
00:08:44,769 --> 00:08:48,038
Where have you been?
198
00:08:49,573 --> 00:08:51,207
What are you two doing in here?
199
00:08:51,242 --> 00:08:52,909
Breaking into
a dead woman's computer
200
00:08:52,944 --> 00:08:54,044
to solve a murder.
201
00:08:54,078 --> 00:08:56,245
Oh, like on the closer.
No...
202
00:09:00,084 --> 00:09:03,620
Soap opera digest...
203
00:09:03,654 --> 00:09:07,892
Ah. You can't hide from me,
young Victoria Chase.
204
00:09:07,926 --> 00:09:11,062
Okay, Anthony Geary cover...
205
00:09:11,096 --> 00:09:13,297
Erica Slezak cover.
206
00:09:13,332 --> 00:09:15,033
Oh... and there I am.
207
00:09:15,067 --> 00:09:19,070
Sandwiched between John Stamos
and Rick Springfield.
208
00:09:19,105 --> 00:09:20,906
Again.
209
00:09:22,208 --> 00:09:24,610
Look at that face.
210
00:09:24,644 --> 00:09:28,413
All right, I'll say it.
I haven't changed a bit.
211
00:09:28,448 --> 00:09:31,350
Ow.
212
00:09:31,385 --> 00:09:35,689
So you were rickety
back then too?
213
00:09:35,723 --> 00:09:38,692
I'm not going to even
dignify that question
214
00:09:38,727 --> 00:09:40,828
by straightening my neck.
215
00:09:40,862 --> 00:09:44,265
Honey badger don't care.
216
00:09:44,299 --> 00:09:46,801
You'll understand that
in a minute
217
00:09:52,807 --> 00:09:55,276
look at that dress.
No wrinkles.
218
00:09:55,310 --> 00:09:56,577
That's how well it travels.
219
00:09:56,611 --> 00:09:59,480
It goes from here to eternity.
220
00:09:59,514 --> 00:10:01,148
But how are we gonna
get it off her?
221
00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:02,616
Well, a drink
and a couple of compliments
222
00:10:02,651 --> 00:10:04,518
usually works for me.
223
00:10:04,553 --> 00:10:06,821
Wait a minute, you're serious.
224
00:10:06,855 --> 00:10:09,457
You're actually contemplating
taking a woman's burial dress
225
00:10:09,491 --> 00:10:10,458
off her body.
226
00:10:10,492 --> 00:10:11,926
That's my dress!
227
00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:13,027
Now climb in there
and take it off her.
228
00:10:13,062 --> 00:10:14,395
Me?
229
00:10:14,430 --> 00:10:15,930
Yeah. I gotta
take off my clothes
230
00:10:15,965 --> 00:10:17,532
to switch with her.
Plus, you're wearing pants.
231
00:10:17,566 --> 00:10:18,967
Hurry up.
Why?
232
00:10:19,001 --> 00:10:20,501
She's not going anywhere.
233
00:10:20,536 --> 00:10:22,303
Someone might come in.
234
00:10:22,337 --> 00:10:24,805
Oh, what the hell.
235
00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:26,907
Happy non-anniversary
to me!
236
00:10:26,941 --> 00:10:29,076
Oh, sweetie...
237
00:10:29,110 --> 00:10:32,079
Maybe climbing in a coffin
will cheer you up.
238
00:10:35,184 --> 00:10:36,718
Eww.
239
00:10:36,752 --> 00:10:38,519
How am I supposed to do this?
240
00:10:38,554 --> 00:10:40,922
Just ease in, like you're
going in a hot tub.
241
00:10:43,859 --> 00:10:46,728
Eww! Oh...
242
00:10:46,762 --> 00:10:49,697
Eww.
243
00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:52,567
Oh, my God.
244
00:10:52,601 --> 00:10:53,902
What on earth are you doing?
245
00:10:53,936 --> 00:10:56,771
The dead lady has on
my magic dress.
246
00:10:56,805 --> 00:10:59,574
So you're swapping dresses
with a corpse
247
00:10:59,608 --> 00:11:01,909
without locking the door?
Ugh, rookies!
248
00:11:01,943 --> 00:11:06,047
Hey, I found
my soap opera digest.
249
00:11:06,081 --> 00:11:08,715
Oh, wow, and I had
totally forgotten about
250
00:11:08,750 --> 00:11:09,784
this interview.
251
00:11:09,818 --> 00:11:12,286
"Victoria chasing the dream."
252
00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:13,554
Do you think you could
read that later
253
00:11:13,588 --> 00:11:14,621
and give me a hand?
254
00:11:14,656 --> 00:11:16,223
Oh, absolutely.
255
00:11:16,257 --> 00:11:17,791
Oh, listen to this.
256
00:11:17,825 --> 00:11:20,360
"In a few short years,
Victoria Chase
257
00:11:20,395 --> 00:11:22,463
"has become
daytime's 'it' girl.
258
00:11:22,497 --> 00:11:24,298
"Over lunch
at the Hard Rock Cafe,
259
00:11:24,332 --> 00:11:25,900
"the model-thin Ms. chase
ordered
260
00:11:25,934 --> 00:11:28,302
"a very un-model-like
cheeseburger and fries.
261
00:11:28,337 --> 00:11:31,206
"Quote: 'This town's full
of actresses on diets.
262
00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:34,743
'That's not me...
I love to eat.'"
263
00:11:34,778 --> 00:11:36,945
oh, my snap is stuck!
264
00:11:36,980 --> 00:11:38,714
Of course, I just
said those things, you know,
265
00:11:38,748 --> 00:11:40,115
to confuse the competition.
266
00:11:40,150 --> 00:11:41,316
You know, I figured
there'd be some
267
00:11:41,351 --> 00:11:42,951
young actresses out there
who would read it,
268
00:11:42,986 --> 00:11:44,252
be inspired to chow down,
269
00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:45,420
and then just, like,
pork themselves
270
00:11:45,454 --> 00:11:47,956
right out of the business.
271
00:11:47,990 --> 00:11:49,457
It's like this dress
is glued on.
272
00:11:49,492 --> 00:11:50,592
Victoria, help!
273
00:11:50,626 --> 00:11:51,993
Oh, I'm sorry.
Of course.
274
00:11:52,027 --> 00:11:54,061
Let's see, where was I?
275
00:11:54,095 --> 00:11:56,263
"When asked about the future,
276
00:11:56,297 --> 00:11:58,432
"Ms. Chase exclaimed,
'you're gonna see me
277
00:11:58,466 --> 00:12:01,735
"'on the silver screen-
Spielberg, Coppola, Scorsese.
278
00:12:01,769 --> 00:12:03,504
"'I'm gonna work
with all of those guys.
279
00:12:03,538 --> 00:12:05,906
"'And if I'm still doing
television when I'm 35,
280
00:12:05,941 --> 00:12:08,742
just shoot me.'"
281
00:12:10,311 --> 00:12:11,945
oh, my God.
282
00:12:11,979 --> 00:12:13,880
I'm such a failure.
283
00:12:13,915 --> 00:12:17,417
I haven't done any of the things
I set out to do.
284
00:12:17,452 --> 00:12:19,954
No one has sunk
as low as I have.
285
00:12:19,988 --> 00:12:24,192
You do realize
I'm straddling a dead woman?
286
00:12:24,226 --> 00:12:26,695
[Pounding on door]
Oh, uh, occupied!
287
00:12:26,729 --> 00:12:31,467
What?
I gotta get in there!
288
00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:33,937
Damn, two locks.
289
00:12:33,971 --> 00:12:38,208
I'm sorry, I just wanted
to pay my respects.
290
00:12:38,242 --> 00:12:40,510
What happened to your clothes?
291
00:12:40,545 --> 00:12:44,647
Oh, I... I was
so overcome with grief
292
00:12:44,682 --> 00:12:47,450
that I was rending my garments.
293
00:12:47,484 --> 00:12:50,019
[Phony crying]
294
00:12:50,053 --> 00:12:52,888
Do you mind if I have
some time with Jenny?
295
00:12:52,923 --> 00:12:54,890
- Who?
- The deceased.
296
00:12:54,925 --> 00:12:56,492
Oh, oh, that Jenny.
297
00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:58,660
I'm sorry, I didn't know
who you were talking about
298
00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:02,531
because we were so close that
we gave each other nicknames.
299
00:13:02,565 --> 00:13:06,201
I called her... rooster.
300
00:13:06,235 --> 00:13:07,869
Okay.
301
00:13:07,903 --> 00:13:10,071
Do you think you could
come back another time?
302
00:13:10,106 --> 00:13:11,840
I drove all night to be here.
303
00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:13,641
I have to see her
one last time.
304
00:13:13,675 --> 00:13:15,376
- No, no, no.
- Don't open that!
305
00:13:15,410 --> 00:13:17,044
Why?
306
00:13:17,078 --> 00:13:19,012
Uh...
She was in an accident
307
00:13:19,047 --> 00:13:21,381
and was horribly disfigured.
308
00:13:21,415 --> 00:13:22,649
Well, I don't care.
309
00:13:22,683 --> 00:13:24,251
I have to say good-bye
face to face.
310
00:13:24,285 --> 00:13:26,420
- Hold it...
- Oh, my God, I...
311
00:13:26,454 --> 00:13:29,090
Wow.
312
00:13:29,124 --> 00:13:32,159
The undertaker did
a wonderful job.
313
00:13:32,194 --> 00:13:33,827
Is she even dead?
314
00:13:33,862 --> 00:13:36,329
Oop. Yep, she's dead.
315
00:13:37,733 --> 00:13:39,301
Look at those big loris eyes.
316
00:13:39,335 --> 00:13:42,872
I'll tickle you.
[Laughter]
317
00:13:42,906 --> 00:13:45,241
Ah... again?
318
00:13:45,275 --> 00:13:46,809
Well, don't you think
we should get back
319
00:13:46,843 --> 00:13:47,944
to the murder investigation?
320
00:13:47,978 --> 00:13:49,779
Oh, yeah. You're right.
321
00:13:49,813 --> 00:13:53,215
Um, is there a will listed
in her documents?
322
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:54,951
No, nothing.
323
00:13:54,985 --> 00:13:59,155
Just a screenplay called
Hummels: A Love Story.
324
00:13:59,189 --> 00:14:02,458
Oh. The nurse must have
erased the will.
325
00:14:02,493 --> 00:14:06,062
Well, that means the nurse
has access to this computer.
326
00:14:06,096 --> 00:14:07,297
Yeah.
327
00:14:07,331 --> 00:14:09,332
You know,
I saw a Law & Order one time
328
00:14:09,367 --> 00:14:11,835
where they looked up the
killer's web browsing history
329
00:14:11,869 --> 00:14:14,438
and found incriminating
searches,
330
00:14:14,472 --> 00:14:18,341
like household poisons,
how to kill someone.
331
00:14:18,376 --> 00:14:22,646
They've really
dumbed down that show.
332
00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:25,682
Thanks. I just need
a little time alone with her.
333
00:14:25,717 --> 00:14:28,953
[Loudly]
We'll be right outside!
334
00:14:28,987 --> 00:14:30,654
All right.
335
00:14:36,494 --> 00:14:39,496
Hi, Jenny.
It's me, Dan.
336
00:14:39,531 --> 00:14:41,198
I know it's been a long time,
337
00:14:41,233 --> 00:14:44,368
but I just had to
see you again.
338
00:14:44,402 --> 00:14:47,371
There hasn't been a day
in the past 50 years
339
00:14:47,406 --> 00:14:50,541
that I haven't regretted
breaking our engagement.
340
00:14:50,576 --> 00:14:53,578
It's the biggest mistake
I ever made.
341
00:14:53,613 --> 00:14:56,681
Can you find it in your heart
to forgive me?
342
00:14:56,716 --> 00:14:58,817
No!
343
00:15:01,987 --> 00:15:04,155
- Jenny, is that you?
- No!
344
00:15:06,325 --> 00:15:08,859
What are you doing in there?
Who are you?
345
00:15:08,894 --> 00:15:10,528
Joy Scroggs.
346
00:15:10,562 --> 00:15:12,496
And speaking
for all jilted women,
347
00:15:12,531 --> 00:15:14,132
you are not forgiven.
348
00:15:14,166 --> 00:15:17,134
Who made you
their spokesperson?
349
00:15:17,169 --> 00:15:20,671
Trust me, I am way
overqualified for the job.
350
00:15:20,706 --> 00:15:22,339
There was the guy who left me
351
00:15:22,374 --> 00:15:23,641
when I got pregnant
as a teenager,
352
00:15:23,675 --> 00:15:25,509
or the guy who left me
at the altar.
353
00:15:25,544 --> 00:15:27,078
Take your pick.
354
00:15:27,112 --> 00:15:30,314
Look, you've obviously made
a lot of different life choices
355
00:15:30,348 --> 00:15:33,150
that led to you
lying in a coffin.
356
00:15:33,184 --> 00:15:36,354
But you have no idea
how much I loved that woman.
357
00:15:36,388 --> 00:15:38,155
Not enough to stick around.
358
00:15:38,190 --> 00:15:40,057
Jenny and I were
supposed to get married,
359
00:15:40,092 --> 00:15:42,126
but I called it off
because I realized
360
00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:44,328
I couldn't give her
the life she deserved.
361
00:15:44,362 --> 00:15:45,663
She was too good for me.
362
00:15:45,697 --> 00:15:47,598
Well, did you tell her that?
363
00:15:47,632 --> 00:15:49,600
No, because she would have
tried to convince me otherwise.
364
00:15:49,634 --> 00:15:50,735
But I knew the truth.
365
00:15:50,769 --> 00:15:53,504
That's why I disappeared.
366
00:15:53,538 --> 00:15:54,939
I wonder if that was the case
with the guy
367
00:15:54,973 --> 00:15:56,407
who left me at the altar.
368
00:15:56,442 --> 00:15:58,476
Oh, one look at you, I can tell
369
00:15:58,510 --> 00:16:00,244
he wasn't good enough
for you either.
370
00:16:00,278 --> 00:16:02,814
Thanks.
371
00:16:02,848 --> 00:16:04,315
I forgive you.
372
00:16:04,350 --> 00:16:06,684
I... I mean I'm sure
she'd forgive you.
373
00:16:06,719 --> 00:16:08,119
We forgive you.
374
00:16:08,154 --> 00:16:10,955
She met someone else,
you know, after me.
375
00:16:10,990 --> 00:16:13,391
I heard from mutual friends
she was very happy.
376
00:16:13,426 --> 00:16:14,759
That's nice.
377
00:16:14,794 --> 00:16:17,996
You know, sometimes I think
I'll never get married.
378
00:16:18,030 --> 00:16:19,965
Oh, I can't believe that.
379
00:16:19,999 --> 00:16:22,467
But if I may say so,
380
00:16:22,501 --> 00:16:26,738
you might be going about it
the wrong way.
381
00:16:26,772 --> 00:16:28,907
May I ask what you were doing?
382
00:16:28,941 --> 00:16:30,675
- There was a mix-up
at the dry cleaners.
383
00:16:30,709 --> 00:16:32,744
I was trying to get
my friend's dress back.
384
00:16:32,778 --> 00:16:34,445
I couldn't see you
at all in there.
385
00:16:34,479 --> 00:16:35,613
How'd you even fit?
386
00:16:35,647 --> 00:16:37,014
I dropped out of college
387
00:16:37,049 --> 00:16:39,517
to become
a magician's assistant.
388
00:16:39,551 --> 00:16:44,289
He left me for the girl
who swallowed the swords.
389
00:16:46,025 --> 00:16:48,092
Please come in, everyone.
390
00:16:48,126 --> 00:16:50,128
- What happened?
- Where's my dress.
391
00:16:50,162 --> 00:16:51,296
Still on the dead woman.
392
00:16:51,330 --> 00:16:53,632
Oh, no.
Oh, no!
393
00:16:53,666 --> 00:16:56,101
Oh, I know. It's been
a sad day for all of us.
394
00:16:56,135 --> 00:16:58,237
But I just try to remember...
395
00:16:58,271 --> 00:17:00,639
To everything,
there is a season.
396
00:17:00,674 --> 00:17:04,744
Mine was fall, 1988,
397
00:17:04,778 --> 00:17:06,913
oh, is that from
my grandmother's collection?
398
00:17:06,947 --> 00:17:09,315
Yes. She wanted me
to have it.
399
00:17:09,349 --> 00:17:10,816
Oh. Were you
and my grandmother close?
400
00:17:10,850 --> 00:17:13,618
She called her "rooster."
401
00:17:13,652 --> 00:17:15,319
Well, perhaps you'd like
to be the first
402
00:17:15,354 --> 00:17:16,454
to say a few words.
403
00:17:16,488 --> 00:17:19,590
Oh, improv really
isn't my thing.
404
00:17:19,624 --> 00:17:21,091
Just speak from the heart.
405
00:17:21,125 --> 00:17:24,561
Share some memories
of happier times.
406
00:17:28,566 --> 00:17:33,370
When we are young, we are so
naive and full of hope
407
00:17:33,405 --> 00:17:35,506
we believe that
anything is possible.
408
00:17:35,540 --> 00:17:39,710
And we make plans
that never materialize.
409
00:17:39,744 --> 00:17:43,012
And instead of accolades,
our lives are full of regrets.
410
00:17:44,748 --> 00:17:47,083
Although she ultimately failed,
411
00:17:47,117 --> 00:17:51,454
at least she tried
to reach for that brass ring.
412
00:17:51,488 --> 00:17:53,589
But my grandmother didn't fail.
413
00:17:53,623 --> 00:17:56,124
She was chief of surgery
at the Cleveland clinic.
414
00:17:56,158 --> 00:17:59,327
Well, yeah, Cleveland.
415
00:18:01,096 --> 00:18:03,564
Sorry.
416
00:18:03,598 --> 00:18:06,568
Cock-a-doodle-doo,
old friend.
417
00:18:08,437 --> 00:18:12,441
Okay, would anyone
who actually knew my grandmother
418
00:18:12,475 --> 00:18:15,144
like to say a word before
we move to the cemetery?
419
00:18:15,178 --> 00:18:17,513
I'd like to.
420
00:18:19,049 --> 00:18:20,951
Dr. Van Alstyne was
the kindest,
421
00:18:20,985 --> 00:18:22,820
sweetest person I ever met.
422
00:18:22,854 --> 00:18:24,422
It was an honor and a privilege
423
00:18:24,456 --> 00:18:25,756
to be her live-in nurse.
424
00:18:25,791 --> 00:18:27,724
Murderer!
425
00:18:31,830 --> 00:18:34,431
You made up
that whole murder thing?
426
00:18:34,465 --> 00:18:36,233
Why would you do that?
427
00:18:36,267 --> 00:18:38,302
I'm sorry, I was just
trying to get you away
428
00:18:38,336 --> 00:18:41,504
from those silver-haired
pretty boys.
429
00:18:41,539 --> 00:18:46,576
- You garter-sock blocked me?
430
00:18:46,611 --> 00:18:48,545
I didn't call you
after that date
431
00:18:48,579 --> 00:18:49,746
because I was scared.
432
00:18:49,780 --> 00:18:52,715
My wife had just passed away,
433
00:18:52,749 --> 00:18:54,484
and I wasn't ready to move on.
434
00:18:54,518 --> 00:18:57,787
And then I was,
and you were engaged,
435
00:18:57,821 --> 00:19:01,424
and your dead husband
appeared, and...
436
00:19:01,459 --> 00:19:03,893
It felt complicated.
437
00:19:03,928 --> 00:19:06,896
Well, why did you
come up to me today?
438
00:19:06,931 --> 00:19:11,300
Because as soon as I saw you,
I knew I'd made a mistake.
439
00:19:11,335 --> 00:19:14,470
If you're ready for me,
I'm ready for you.
440
00:19:16,773 --> 00:19:18,107
I am.
441
00:19:23,841 --> 00:19:26,795
- Oh, hey, your non-anniversary
is almost over.
442
00:19:26,830 --> 00:19:28,564
It ended when I talked to Dan.
443
00:19:28,598 --> 00:19:31,033
In fact, this is the last year
444
00:19:31,074 --> 00:19:34,003
on the non-anniversaries.
445
00:19:34,037 --> 00:19:35,271
It's time to move on.
446
00:19:35,305 --> 00:19:36,939
Bravo, Joy.
447
00:19:36,973 --> 00:19:39,708
And I'm ready to move on
from the naive words
448
00:19:39,743 --> 00:19:41,244
of a silly little girl.
449
00:19:41,278 --> 00:19:43,913
You know, tv was
very good to me.
450
00:19:43,947 --> 00:19:45,948
And I'm proud
of the work I've done.
451
00:19:45,982 --> 00:19:47,416
Good for you, Victoria.
452
00:19:47,451 --> 00:19:49,685
And besides, Helen Mirren
didn't win an Oscar
453
00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:51,354
until she was 60.
454
00:19:51,388 --> 00:19:55,224
So that means I have, what...
20 years to make it happen.
455
00:19:57,727 --> 00:19:59,361
I guess I'm gonna have to
give up all hope
456
00:19:59,395 --> 00:20:00,963
of ever seeing
my magic dress again.
457
00:20:00,997 --> 00:20:05,234
You know, it was a burial,
not a cremation.
458
00:20:05,268 --> 00:20:07,403
I'm just sayin'.
459
00:20:09,073 --> 00:20:12,209
Elka, we're gonna need
your shovel.
460
00:20:12,244 --> 00:20:16,715
That's for solving crimes,
not committing them.
461
00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:18,317
But it's my magic dress.
462
00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:19,585
I'm sorry sweetie,
463
00:20:19,619 --> 00:20:22,488
honey badger
don't give a [Bleep]!
464
00:20:22,522 --> 00:20:25,724
Okay.
465
00:20:25,749 --> 00:20:27,949
Sync & corrections by APOLLO
www.addic7ed.com
466
00:20:27,999 --> 00:20:32,549
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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