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1
00:00:00,882 --> 00:00:02,583
Previously on Hot in Cleveland...
2
00:00:02,898 --> 00:00:04,698
But this is
my first trip to L.A.,
3
00:00:04,981 --> 00:00:07,649
and this is Robert Redford's
favorite restaurant.
4
00:00:07,683 --> 00:00:08,884
Please!
5
00:00:08,885 --> 00:00:11,286
You seriously expect me to
believe you have an evil twin?
6
00:00:11,521 --> 00:00:13,889
A dim figure hovers above you.
7
00:00:13,923 --> 00:00:16,691
You wake up horrified and realize...
8
00:00:16,726 --> 00:00:18,660
[screams]
9
00:00:18,694 --> 00:00:19,961
I have to go.
10
00:00:19,996 --> 00:00:21,763
Maybe we can talk some more later?
11
00:00:21,798 --> 00:00:22,798
You can count on it.
12
00:00:22,832 --> 00:00:24,866
Oh, Elka, I think I blew the sale!
13
00:00:24,901 --> 00:00:26,101
Who cares?
14
00:00:26,135 --> 00:00:29,004
I found out where Robert Redford is.
15
00:00:29,038 --> 00:00:30,238
Hide me.
16
00:00:30,273 --> 00:00:31,940
I think I killed Susan Lucci.
17
00:00:34,043 --> 00:00:35,811
I'm scared.
We shouldn't be doing this.
18
00:00:35,845 --> 00:00:38,947
Stop whining, there's
nothing to be afraid of.
19
00:00:38,981 --> 00:00:41,650
- [Screams]
- Hey, dead guy.
20
00:00:41,684 --> 00:00:44,586
Is this the Robert Redford movie?
21
00:00:44,620 --> 00:00:47,656
I wish, lady.
Try Stage 19.
22
00:00:47,690 --> 00:00:50,091
Oh, excuse us, so sorry,
23
00:00:50,126 --> 00:00:51,893
but I love these crime show dramas.
24
00:00:51,928 --> 00:00:54,663
Hey, check out my David Caruso.
25
00:00:54,697 --> 00:00:59,100
It looks like these crashers...
have wrecked the scene.
26
00:01:00,536 --> 00:01:01,803
Oh, wait, wait. I got another
one, I got another one.
27
00:01:01,838 --> 00:01:05,874
Let me see...
it looks like this set...
28
00:01:05,908 --> 00:01:07,309
has met its match.
29
00:01:07,343 --> 00:01:09,678
[Squeals]
30
00:01:09,712 --> 00:01:11,680
What is wrong with you?
31
00:01:11,714 --> 00:01:12,914
It's The Who.
32
00:01:12,949 --> 00:01:15,984
It's the theme song
to CSI Miami.
33
00:01:16,018 --> 00:01:17,819
Sorry about my friend.
34
00:01:17,854 --> 00:01:22,023
She's...
Lost her mind.
35
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:31,000
Sync by Dr. Jackson | corr. by Alice
for www.addic7ed.com
36
00:01:33,536 --> 00:01:36,905
Morning, Ms. Lucci.
How are you feeling?
37
00:01:36,939 --> 00:01:39,274
Oh, much better, thank you.
38
00:01:39,308 --> 00:01:41,209
Oh, the newspapers
are filled with stories
39
00:01:41,244 --> 00:01:45,680
about that crazy Victoria
Chase attacking you.
40
00:01:45,715 --> 00:01:51,253
And the tabloids
are claiming you're dead.
41
00:01:51,287 --> 00:01:53,488
Well, if I am, I'm in heaven.
42
00:01:53,522 --> 00:01:56,791
They used that hideous old
photo of Victoria's thighs
43
00:01:56,826 --> 00:01:59,327
in a bathing suit.
44
00:01:59,362 --> 00:02:00,829
Cottage cheese?
45
00:02:00,863 --> 00:02:03,798
Large curd.
46
00:02:03,833 --> 00:02:08,436
Oh, thank you, no.
I'm too happy to eat.
47
00:02:08,471 --> 00:02:10,939
Oh, Ms. Chase has been
waiting outside all morning
48
00:02:10,973 --> 00:02:12,140
to see you.
49
00:02:12,174 --> 00:02:14,109
She's very upset about the accident.
50
00:02:14,143 --> 00:02:15,844
You didn't tell her
I was all right, did you?
51
00:02:15,878 --> 00:02:17,212
Oh, no, no!
52
00:02:17,246 --> 00:02:19,581
We told her the same thing
we told the press:
53
00:02:19,615 --> 00:02:21,216
"We're not releasing any information
54
00:02:21,250 --> 00:02:23,618
"about Ms. Lucci's condition
at this time."
55
00:02:23,653 --> 00:02:28,890
Good. All right, then.
Please, send her in.
56
00:02:28,925 --> 00:02:31,259
But first, just for fun...
57
00:02:31,294 --> 00:02:35,997
Let's pretend I'm in a coma.
58
00:02:36,032 --> 00:02:37,732
A coma?
59
00:02:37,767 --> 00:02:40,101
Yes, Victoria and I just
adore playing little tricks
60
00:02:40,136 --> 00:02:41,269
on each other.
61
00:02:41,304 --> 00:02:44,539
I sent her birth certificate
to Wikileaks...
62
00:02:44,573 --> 00:02:48,476
and she heckled my speech during
the Tourette's benefit...
63
00:02:51,914 --> 00:02:54,716
luckily, nobody noticed.
64
00:02:56,118 --> 00:02:57,519
Trust me, she'll love it.
65
00:02:57,553 --> 00:03:00,989
This is so exciting!
66
00:03:01,023 --> 00:03:04,225
No one does a coma better than you!
67
00:03:04,260 --> 00:03:06,061
You're sweet.
68
00:03:11,133 --> 00:03:13,401
This is horrible.
They don't mention
69
00:03:13,436 --> 00:03:16,004
my new boyfriend
Michael Knight at all.
70
00:03:16,038 --> 00:03:19,574
Just "fellow cast members
are praying for a miracle."
71
00:03:19,608 --> 00:03:22,677
Can we please focus
on the real tragedy here?
72
00:03:22,712 --> 00:03:26,214
This pattern on my thighs
is not cellulite!
73
00:03:26,248 --> 00:03:30,185
Clearly I'd just gotten up
from a wicker chair.
74
00:03:30,219 --> 00:03:32,520
Shouldn't you be a little
more concerned about Susan?
75
00:03:32,555 --> 00:03:34,155
Oh, she's just faking for attention.
76
00:03:34,190 --> 00:03:35,523
I mean, if she were really hurt,
77
00:03:35,558 --> 00:03:38,393
there'd be a million cameras
outside the hospital...
78
00:03:38,427 --> 00:03:41,596
which I dressed for.
79
00:03:41,630 --> 00:03:44,032
My new boyfriend Michael Knight,
80
00:03:44,066 --> 00:03:47,669
was so grief-stricken
last night about Susan,
81
00:03:47,703 --> 00:03:51,006
he asked me to leave
right after we had sex.
82
00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:52,974
He didn't want me to see him cry.
83
00:03:53,009 --> 00:03:55,844
So sensitive!
84
00:03:55,878 --> 00:03:58,747
And he's much better in bed
than his brother was.
85
00:03:58,781 --> 00:04:00,749
Although when they say
"identical twins,"
86
00:04:00,783 --> 00:04:03,518
trust me, they're not kidding.
87
00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:05,620
Ms. Chase?
88
00:04:05,654 --> 00:04:07,288
Yes, nurse, is there any news?
89
00:04:07,323 --> 00:04:10,225
Or any news crews?
90
00:04:10,259 --> 00:04:12,961
I'm afraid Ms. Lucci's
still in a coma.
91
00:04:12,995 --> 00:04:14,496
A coma?
92
00:04:14,530 --> 00:04:15,964
Yay!
93
00:04:17,333 --> 00:04:19,000
Oh, no, not "yay!"
94
00:04:19,035 --> 00:04:21,603
About Susan, obviously that's tragic.
95
00:04:21,637 --> 00:04:24,105
My new boyfriend
Michael Knight just texted
96
00:04:24,140 --> 00:04:25,807
that he wants to take me
to dinner in Malibu
97
00:04:25,841 --> 00:04:29,110
in his brand new Ferrari!
98
00:04:29,145 --> 00:04:30,845
Which of course
doesn't make this moment
99
00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:33,748
any less poignant.
100
00:04:33,783 --> 00:04:35,150
A coma?
Really?
101
00:04:35,184 --> 00:04:41,156
Oh, my God!
We're having Sushi at Nobu!
102
00:04:41,190 --> 00:04:42,957
Could I possibly see her?
103
00:04:42,992 --> 00:04:44,759
Okay, but just for a moment.
104
00:04:44,794 --> 00:04:46,528
Right.
105
00:04:49,131 --> 00:04:52,400
FYI, your new boyfriend Michael Knight
106
00:04:52,435 --> 00:04:55,170
slept with my best friend,
made her all these promises,
107
00:04:55,204 --> 00:04:56,304
and never called.
108
00:04:56,338 --> 00:04:58,573
What?
Oh, no, wait!
109
00:04:58,607 --> 00:05:00,375
Is she sure it was Michael?
110
00:05:00,409 --> 00:05:01,609
Because his twin brother Alex
111
00:05:01,644 --> 00:05:04,679
pulled exactly the same trick
on me once.
112
00:05:04,713 --> 00:05:10,418
His twin brother Alex?
Seriously?
113
00:05:10,453 --> 00:05:12,687
Oh, you don't watch the show, do you?
114
00:05:12,721 --> 00:05:15,890
Oh, not every day.
Why?
115
00:05:15,925 --> 00:05:20,095
Michael's character
had an evil twin brother Alex
116
00:05:20,129 --> 00:05:24,299
who impersonated him.
117
00:05:24,333 --> 00:05:26,134
What?
118
00:05:30,706 --> 00:05:36,511
[Beeping]
119
00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:38,313
Susan...
120
00:05:38,347 --> 00:05:42,650
I know you can't speak,
but I pray you can hear me.
121
00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,321
Seeing you in this miserable state,
122
00:05:46,355 --> 00:05:48,490
I can't help it...
123
00:05:48,524 --> 00:05:51,159
oh, what am I doing?
124
00:05:51,193 --> 00:05:52,460
Am I really so shallow
125
00:05:52,495 --> 00:05:54,963
that I can only quote words
written by people
126
00:05:54,997 --> 00:05:58,500
not pretty enough
to be in front of the camera?
127
00:06:00,769 --> 00:06:03,304
All right, the truth is,
128
00:06:03,339 --> 00:06:07,742
seeing you here
in this heartbreaking, yet,
129
00:06:07,776 --> 00:06:12,413
oddly well-groomed,
state...
130
00:06:12,448 --> 00:06:16,684
I'm honestly sorry for...
well, for so many things.
131
00:06:16,719 --> 00:06:20,588
For the venomous digs and
the backhanded compliments.
132
00:06:20,623 --> 00:06:24,859
For resenting your successes
and reveling in your defeats.
133
00:06:24,894 --> 00:06:27,996
For rubbing that strawberry
on your prop kleenex
134
00:06:28,030 --> 00:06:29,264
so that your perfect little face
135
00:06:29,298 --> 00:06:32,133
would blow up like a beach ball...
136
00:06:38,908 --> 00:06:41,676
oh God, I have been such a fool.
137
00:06:41,710 --> 00:06:44,279
Why did we always let petty jealousy
138
00:06:44,313 --> 00:06:47,282
blind us to what was really important?
139
00:06:47,316 --> 00:06:50,285
I mean, if the heavens can hold
a thousand brilliant stars,
140
00:06:50,319 --> 00:06:55,823
then surely there's room enough
for both of our lights to shine.
141
00:06:55,858 --> 00:06:58,393
If I had known that sooner,
142
00:06:58,427 --> 00:07:01,729
then perhaps I wouldn't have
made an enemy of someone
143
00:07:01,764 --> 00:07:06,334
who might otherwise have been
a dear, dear friend.
144
00:07:17,436 --> 00:07:19,571
Oh, thank God.
The couple made up.
145
00:07:19,605 --> 00:07:21,539
My house sale's back on.
146
00:07:21,574 --> 00:07:23,441
This is a really big studio.
147
00:07:23,476 --> 00:07:25,777
How in the world are we ever
going to find Robert Redford?
148
00:07:25,811 --> 00:07:27,445
Let's ask this Hollywood fairy.
149
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,381
Elka!
150
00:07:29,415 --> 00:07:31,082
I'm sorry,
she's from a different era.
151
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,851
I'm not talking about him!
152
00:07:32,885 --> 00:07:35,487
I'm talking about her.
153
00:07:37,490 --> 00:07:38,923
Have you seen Robert Redford?
154
00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:40,725
We heard he was doing his movie here.
155
00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:43,061
See that line of extras
over there getting wardrobe?
156
00:07:43,095 --> 00:07:44,429
That's for his movie.
157
00:07:44,463 --> 00:07:46,965
That's it!
We could be extras!
158
00:07:46,999 --> 00:07:48,266
No.
Absolutely not.
159
00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:50,368
There are rules, there are unions.
160
00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:52,070
You can't just walk onto a movie set.
161
00:07:52,104 --> 00:07:54,305
Oh, you're probably right.
162
00:07:54,340 --> 00:07:57,976
I just thought, after my trial,
163
00:07:58,010 --> 00:08:00,412
when I'm in that cold, dark cell...
164
00:08:00,446 --> 00:08:02,113
You are not
going to guilt me into this.
165
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:04,482
My spirits would soar
on the wings of a memory.
166
00:08:04,517 --> 00:08:07,085
- Stop it!
- The memory of meeting,
167
00:08:07,119 --> 00:08:10,522
and getting the tiniest bit
handsy with Robert...
168
00:08:10,556 --> 00:08:13,558
oh, fine, all right.
169
00:08:13,592 --> 00:08:15,860
All right. We can
catch a ride with this fruit.
170
00:08:15,895 --> 00:08:17,295
Oh, wait a minute.
When I turn around,
171
00:08:17,329 --> 00:08:20,064
I better see a man
dressed like a banana.
172
00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:24,836
Close enough.
173
00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:29,441
Oh, no.
174
00:08:29,475 --> 00:08:31,009
They're blocking the path
to my dressing room
175
00:08:31,043 --> 00:08:34,179
like angry villagers.
176
00:08:34,213 --> 00:08:36,247
The director's smiling
and waving you over.
177
00:08:36,282 --> 00:08:37,882
Of course he is.
This is Hollywood.
178
00:08:37,917 --> 00:08:38,883
You know, two air kisses
179
00:08:38,918 --> 00:08:40,118
before they stab you in the back
180
00:08:40,152 --> 00:08:42,620
and gloat over your carcass.
181
00:08:42,655 --> 00:08:45,290
Speaking of bloody
carcasses, I believe I owe
182
00:08:45,324 --> 00:08:48,293
my new ex-boyfriend
Michael Knight a visit.
183
00:08:48,327 --> 00:08:53,565
Hmm, I wonder if this works
on more than just bagels?
184
00:08:53,599 --> 00:08:55,133
Victoria, a word.
185
00:08:55,167 --> 00:08:56,634
Listen, before you say anything...
186
00:08:56,669 --> 00:08:59,304
we want you to do
your original speech.
187
00:08:59,338 --> 00:09:01,306
- Pardon?
- The hospital called.
188
00:09:01,340 --> 00:09:03,808
Susan's fine, but she just
needs some time to recuperate.
189
00:09:03,843 --> 00:09:06,144
Could you repeat
that first part, again?
190
00:09:06,178 --> 00:09:07,345
Susan is fine.
191
00:09:07,379 --> 00:09:09,814
No, no, no, the part about my speech.
192
00:09:09,849 --> 00:09:11,783
Am I really getting it back?
193
00:09:11,817 --> 00:09:13,218
Yes.
194
00:09:13,252 --> 00:09:14,986
We want you to deliver it
to a photograph of Susan.
195
00:09:15,020 --> 00:09:16,321
Now, of course,
if you're not comfortable
196
00:09:16,355 --> 00:09:17,489
doing the scene without her,
197
00:09:17,523 --> 00:09:18,890
- we ca...
- Oh! no, no, no...
198
00:09:18,924 --> 00:09:22,260
as much as it pains me to perform
the entire scene alone...
199
00:09:22,294 --> 00:09:23,828
no head bandages, right?
200
00:09:23,863 --> 00:09:24,996
Right.
201
00:09:25,030 --> 00:09:27,432
To do the whole scene entirely alone,
202
00:09:27,466 --> 00:09:29,000
I know that if Susan
were standing here,
203
00:09:29,034 --> 00:09:31,336
she'd be looking way,
way up at the rest of us,
204
00:09:31,370 --> 00:09:36,241
saying, "oh, Victoria,
please, do this for me."
205
00:09:36,275 --> 00:09:37,575
Tissue!
206
00:09:38,577 --> 00:09:40,512
Water!
207
00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:43,882
Sandwich.
208
00:09:47,753 --> 00:09:51,389
That's how Susan keeps warm
between takes.
209
00:09:55,628 --> 00:09:57,862
And... action.
210
00:09:57,897 --> 00:09:59,631
Oh, Erica.
211
00:09:59,665 --> 00:10:02,934
I know you can't hear me,
but wherever you are,
212
00:10:02,968 --> 00:10:05,537
I pray that you know that I know,
213
00:10:05,571 --> 00:10:07,572
that you wish you had
been there to warn me
214
00:10:07,606 --> 00:10:11,776
that Liza had sabotaged that stairway.
215
00:10:13,412 --> 00:10:19,384
[Applause]
216
00:10:19,418 --> 00:10:20,451
Thank you, thank you,
217
00:10:20,486 --> 00:10:23,221
but I was merely
taking a dramatic pause.
218
00:10:23,255 --> 00:10:26,190
Please hold your applause
until I have completed...
219
00:10:26,225 --> 00:10:29,093
The scene.
220
00:10:29,128 --> 00:10:31,296
I believe they were clapping for me.
221
00:10:31,330 --> 00:10:33,631
Oh, hell.
222
00:10:33,666 --> 00:10:34,866
Susan!
223
00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:36,267
This is amazing.
224
00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:38,136
We thought you were
taking some time off.
225
00:10:38,170 --> 00:10:41,239
And let poor Victoria stumble
through the scene all alone?
226
00:10:41,273 --> 00:10:46,044
What kind of a friend
and younger mentor would I be?
227
00:10:46,078 --> 00:10:48,079
But surely after your long coma,
228
00:10:48,113 --> 00:10:49,948
you could use a little rest.
229
00:10:49,982 --> 00:10:51,316
On the contrary.
230
00:10:51,350 --> 00:10:55,119
In spite of my alleged
"accident," I feel fine.
231
00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:58,423
So, should we shoot the scene
the way we rehearsed it?
232
00:10:58,457 --> 00:11:00,458
Oh, what a trooper!
233
00:11:00,492 --> 00:11:03,061
What do you say, Victoria?
Hmm?
234
00:11:03,095 --> 00:11:05,863
I'm speechless.
235
00:11:05,898 --> 00:11:08,466
You are now.
236
00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:13,838
Where exactly does it say
"Ferrari" on the jacket?
237
00:11:13,872 --> 00:11:16,608
Uh?
Front and back?
238
00:11:16,642 --> 00:11:17,775
I'll take it.
239
00:11:17,810 --> 00:11:20,478
[Knock on door] Oh, I've got to go.
240
00:11:20,512 --> 00:11:23,781
And... ciao!
241
00:11:23,816 --> 00:11:25,350
Come in.
242
00:11:27,786 --> 00:11:28,987
Hello, Michael.
243
00:11:29,021 --> 00:11:30,421
Hello, gorgeous.
244
00:11:30,456 --> 00:11:35,126
Listen. I... I've got
a love scene coming up.
245
00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:36,628
Want to help me rehearse?
246
00:11:36,662 --> 00:11:40,498
I would, but something
awful's just happened.
247
00:11:40,532 --> 00:11:44,936
I know.
Lucci is back.
248
00:11:44,970 --> 00:11:48,806
But, face it,
there's no show without her.
249
00:11:48,841 --> 00:11:50,241
It's not that.
250
00:11:50,275 --> 00:11:51,909
Just now,
when I was in the parking lot,
251
00:11:51,944 --> 00:11:54,178
admiring your brand new Ferrari...
252
00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:56,047
I ran into Alex!
253
00:11:56,081 --> 00:11:58,716
What?
254
00:11:58,751 --> 00:12:00,318
Your evil twin.
255
00:12:00,352 --> 00:12:02,020
And when I told him
you and I were together,
256
00:12:02,054 --> 00:12:03,788
he flew into a jealous rage,
257
00:12:03,822 --> 00:12:08,393
and started attacking your
gorgeous new car with a crowbar.
258
00:12:09,862 --> 00:12:11,262
What are you talking about?
259
00:12:11,296 --> 00:12:12,664
Oh, it was horrible.
260
00:12:12,698 --> 00:12:15,299
He shattered the windshield,
he slashed the tires,
261
00:12:15,334 --> 00:12:19,737
he even ripped that cute little
prancing horse off the hood.
262
00:12:19,772 --> 00:12:21,739
I don't have an evil twin!
263
00:12:21,774 --> 00:12:25,276
And now, you don't have
a Ferrari, either.
264
00:12:34,063 --> 00:12:36,331
Why did we always let petty jealousy
265
00:12:36,365 --> 00:12:39,367
blind us to what's really important?
266
00:12:39,402 --> 00:12:45,240
If the heavens can hold
a thousand brilliant stars,
267
00:12:45,274 --> 00:12:51,312
surely there's room enough
for both our lights to shine.
268
00:12:51,347 --> 00:12:54,783
If only I had realized this sooner,
269
00:12:54,817 --> 00:12:58,119
perhaps I wouldn't have made
an enemy out of someone
270
00:12:58,154 --> 00:13:04,125
who might otherwise have been
a dear, dear friend.
271
00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:08,096
[Applause]
272
00:13:08,130 --> 00:13:10,398
Susan, that was fantastic.
273
00:13:10,433 --> 00:13:13,034
Those last lines... they
weren't even in the script!
274
00:13:13,068 --> 00:13:14,202
I know.
275
00:13:14,236 --> 00:13:17,038
I was just lying
in my hospital bed today,
276
00:13:17,072 --> 00:13:18,640
they just came to me.
277
00:13:18,674 --> 00:13:20,575
"Lying" all right.
278
00:13:20,576 --> 00:13:21,709
Writing and acting,
279
00:13:21,744 --> 00:13:24,379
is there anything
this one cannot do, hmm?
280
00:13:24,413 --> 00:13:30,385
[Applause]
281
00:13:30,419 --> 00:13:34,889
To be honest,
I owe it all to Victoria.
282
00:13:34,924 --> 00:13:36,524
Well, thank you, Susan.
283
00:13:36,559 --> 00:13:39,461
Her portrayal of a lifeless vegetable
284
00:13:39,495 --> 00:13:44,132
was just so convincing that
it made my job effortless.
285
00:13:44,166 --> 00:13:46,100
[Growls]
286
00:13:49,772 --> 00:13:51,306
Oh, Robert.
287
00:13:51,340 --> 00:13:56,177
I can't believe
you feel the same way too.
288
00:13:56,212 --> 00:13:58,379
Really?
289
00:13:58,414 --> 00:14:00,114
You honestly think Robert Redford's
290
00:14:00,149 --> 00:14:01,916
going to look across
this imaginary ocean
291
00:14:01,951 --> 00:14:03,885
and ask you to marry him?
292
00:14:03,919 --> 00:14:07,689
He's been doing it
in my head for 30 years.
293
00:14:07,723 --> 00:14:10,124
Elka!
294
00:14:10,159 --> 00:14:15,129
The servants should be seen
and not heard.
295
00:14:15,164 --> 00:14:17,732
Okay, remember...
we are going to CGI-in
296
00:14:17,766 --> 00:14:19,000
the storm and the ocean.
297
00:14:19,034 --> 00:14:21,703
But we need you to pretend
to be freezing,
298
00:14:21,737 --> 00:14:24,973
and you are desperate
to be rescued, all right?
299
00:14:25,007 --> 00:14:26,241
Okay, we're ready to shoot!
300
00:14:26,275 --> 00:14:29,477
Oh, but Robert Redford isn't here yet.
301
00:14:29,512 --> 00:14:32,881
Lady, this is second unit.
302
00:14:32,915 --> 00:14:35,383
What does that mean?
303
00:14:35,417 --> 00:14:38,620
It means there are no stars
in this scene.
304
00:14:38,654 --> 00:14:40,955
So this has just been
a big old waste of time.
305
00:14:40,990 --> 00:14:43,858
And these things are really
itchy, I can't stand it.
306
00:14:43,893 --> 00:14:45,093
Maybe we should just go.
307
00:14:45,127 --> 00:14:49,163
No, he'll see me in editing.
308
00:14:49,198 --> 00:14:53,468
And he'll say,
"who is that beautiful extra?"
309
00:14:53,502 --> 00:14:56,538
And he'll track me down...
310
00:14:56,572 --> 00:14:58,806
that's ridiculous,
I'm starting to get hives.
311
00:14:58,841 --> 00:15:01,276
Can we just please go?
312
00:15:01,310 --> 00:15:04,245
Oh, all right!
313
00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:08,082
Maybe I'll get a solitary cell.
314
00:15:08,117 --> 00:15:11,519
Less likely to get shanked.
315
00:15:11,554 --> 00:15:12,654
Fine.
Hey, you know what?
316
00:15:12,688 --> 00:15:13,821
On the bright side,
317
00:15:13,856 --> 00:15:15,356
I get to be in a Robert
Redford movie, right?
318
00:15:15,391 --> 00:15:17,358
And action!
Cue the waves.
319
00:15:17,393 --> 00:15:19,227
Waves?
320
00:15:21,931 --> 00:15:23,364
Remember, it's freezing.
321
00:15:23,399 --> 00:15:25,800
You're terrified.
Oh, here comes another one.
322
00:15:25,834 --> 00:15:28,636
What?
323
00:15:28,671 --> 00:15:29,837
Now, over your shoulder...
324
00:15:29,872 --> 00:15:32,140
oh, God, here comes
the biggest one yet.
325
00:15:32,174 --> 00:15:33,775
Noooo!
326
00:15:33,809 --> 00:15:36,411
[Water splashing]
327
00:15:41,461 --> 00:15:43,529
I can't get the water out of my...
328
00:15:43,564 --> 00:15:45,898
oh, there we go.
329
00:15:45,933 --> 00:15:47,900
Maybe I'm just not meant for romance.
330
00:15:47,935 --> 00:15:50,469
Maybe I'm missing a chip or something.
331
00:15:50,504 --> 00:15:51,837
Oh, sweetie, it's not your fault.
332
00:15:51,872 --> 00:15:53,539
I mean, it could have
happened to anybody.
333
00:15:53,574 --> 00:15:56,809
A one-night stand
with the same man twice?
334
00:15:59,246 --> 00:16:01,013
How could I be so stupid?
335
00:16:01,048 --> 00:16:03,249
Well, to be fair,
he is a professional actor,
336
00:16:03,283 --> 00:16:06,852
and he had you convinced
that he was his own evil twin.
337
00:16:06,887 --> 00:16:10,189
[Laughter]
338
00:16:10,224 --> 00:16:12,825
- Oh, my God!
- I know, I know.
339
00:16:12,859 --> 00:16:14,660
How many times have we
sat around this table
340
00:16:14,695 --> 00:16:17,330
hashing over your bad boyfriends?
341
00:16:17,364 --> 00:16:18,497
Eric, the bigamist...
342
00:16:18,532 --> 00:16:20,499
Donald with the ant farm...
343
00:16:20,534 --> 00:16:21,767
Pre-op Andy...
344
00:16:21,802 --> 00:16:25,104
who turned into awkward
first-date Andrea...
345
00:16:27,174 --> 00:16:29,175
I need coffee.
346
00:16:29,209 --> 00:16:30,710
I had Lucci nightmes all night.
347
00:16:30,744 --> 00:16:32,445
I can still feel
that little muppet hand
348
00:16:32,479 --> 00:16:35,281
on my mouth.
349
00:16:35,315 --> 00:16:37,717
Well, Joy has good news for you.
350
00:16:37,751 --> 00:16:38,784
I called All My Children
351
00:16:38,819 --> 00:16:40,486
and threatened
a sexual harassment suit
352
00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:42,321
against a certain actor
353
00:16:42,356 --> 00:16:43,723
unless they kill the hospital scene
354
00:16:43,757 --> 00:16:45,391
and wrote you a new part.
355
00:16:45,425 --> 00:16:47,293
They're flying you out again
next week.
356
00:16:47,327 --> 00:16:50,096
Oh, Joy, thank you!
357
00:16:50,130 --> 00:16:53,132
That you would do something
so conniving for me...
358
00:16:53,166 --> 00:16:56,869
well, you're a true friend.
359
00:16:56,903 --> 00:16:58,738
So, what kind of part is it?
360
00:16:58,772 --> 00:16:59,905
One with hair.
361
00:16:59,940 --> 00:17:01,641
And they promised me
it would be juicy.
362
00:17:01,675 --> 00:17:03,242
Oh, well.
If it's half as juicy
363
00:17:03,277 --> 00:17:05,878
as the strawberry I squeezed
into Susan's moisturizer
364
00:17:05,912 --> 00:17:08,781
before I left...
365
00:17:08,815 --> 00:17:10,750
I'm going to be thrilled.
366
00:17:10,784 --> 00:17:13,519
Mel, honey, is there something wrong?
367
00:17:13,553 --> 00:17:16,055
She's still upset
about selling her furniture.
368
00:17:16,089 --> 00:17:18,157
No, no, I've resigned myself
to the furniture.
369
00:17:18,191 --> 00:17:21,294
I just...
370
00:17:21,328 --> 00:17:23,262
now I'm just sorry I sold the house.
371
00:17:23,297 --> 00:17:27,833
Aw, sweetie, it's going to be okay.
372
00:17:27,868 --> 00:17:29,735
It's a good thing.
It's what you wanted.
373
00:17:29,770 --> 00:17:32,738
I know, but when I look out
these windows,
374
00:17:32,773 --> 00:17:37,176
I can still see my kids
playing in the yard.
375
00:17:37,210 --> 00:17:40,046
No other windows can do that for me.
376
00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:41,213
And this door jamb,
377
00:17:41,248 --> 00:17:44,216
this is where I measured
the kids' height.
378
00:17:44,251 --> 00:17:46,452
Look, this is how tall Jenna was
379
00:17:46,486 --> 00:17:48,421
when we made Christmas cookies
for the very first time
380
00:17:48,455 --> 00:17:49,422
and she dropped the bowl.
381
00:17:49,456 --> 00:17:50,723
Right there...
382
00:17:50,757 --> 00:17:54,627
See? There's this little crack
in the...
383
00:17:54,661 --> 00:17:57,096
how am I going to say goodbye
to that crack?
384
00:17:57,130 --> 00:17:58,698
I don't know,
but you better make it quick,
385
00:17:58,732 --> 00:18:01,133
our flight's at noon.
386
00:18:03,103 --> 00:18:04,904
No, no, our flight's
not till 5:00.
387
00:18:04,938 --> 00:18:07,440
Oh, I got a tweet from Kemil.
388
00:18:07,474 --> 00:18:09,542
Robert Redford's leaving
for Salt Lake City,
389
00:18:09,576 --> 00:18:13,012
and I re-booked us
on his flight.
390
00:18:13,046 --> 00:18:15,715
You're going to Kansas?
391
00:18:17,818 --> 00:18:19,618
Utah.
392
00:18:19,653 --> 00:18:23,689
I defy anyone to tell me
the difference.
393
00:18:23,724 --> 00:18:26,592
It's just a
five-hour layover.
394
00:18:26,626 --> 00:18:30,329
Oh, please.
395
00:18:30,364 --> 00:18:32,198
Oh, spare us the dimples.
396
00:18:32,232 --> 00:18:35,267
You have no power over us, old woman.
397
00:18:35,302 --> 00:18:36,402
Oh, I don't care anymore.
398
00:18:36,436 --> 00:18:40,406
I'm so miserable
I just want to go home.
399
00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:44,910
Oh, my gosh!
I just said I want to go home.
400
00:18:44,945 --> 00:18:47,780
Yes, honey, we were here.
401
00:18:47,814 --> 00:18:52,318
No! When I said "home,"
I meant Cleveland.
402
00:18:52,352 --> 00:18:54,019
I know, it's weird, isn't it?
403
00:18:54,054 --> 00:18:56,155
I've been thinking of
Cleveland as home too.
404
00:18:56,189 --> 00:18:57,590
Me too.
405
00:18:57,624 --> 00:18:58,991
Only, I wish we could
get there nonstop.
406
00:18:59,025 --> 00:19:01,494
We are at least flying first class?
407
00:19:01,528 --> 00:19:03,796
One of us is.
408
00:19:06,333 --> 00:19:07,666
I don't know.
409
00:19:07,701 --> 00:19:10,302
You know, I'm single now,
the kids are grown,
410
00:19:10,337 --> 00:19:13,639
and a house really isn't a
home without people in it.
411
00:19:13,673 --> 00:19:17,243
Wherever you guys are...
that's home to me.
412
00:19:17,277 --> 00:19:19,612
Good, then shake a leg.
413
00:19:19,646 --> 00:19:22,047
You know how long security takes,
414
00:19:22,082 --> 00:19:25,117
and I always get profiled.
415
00:19:27,687 --> 00:19:29,922
You guys go ahead.
416
00:19:29,956 --> 00:19:32,725
I just need to do one thing.
417
00:19:32,759 --> 00:19:35,828
[Hammer thudding]
418
00:19:35,862 --> 00:19:37,960
[Sighs]
419
00:19:38,262 --> 00:19:40,599
Now it's home.
420
00:19:40,900 --> 00:19:45,200
Sync by Dr. Jackson | corr. by Alice
for www.addic7ed.com
421
00:19:45,250 --> 00:19:49,800
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