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1
00:00:00,956 --> 00:00:04,763
Hot in Cleveland is recorded
in front of a live studio audience.
2
00:00:04,764 --> 00:00:06,614
Mel...
Your taxi is here.
3
00:00:06,615 --> 00:00:08,752
Coming...
4
00:00:08,753 --> 00:00:10,498
Oh... puppy tails!
5
00:00:10,499 --> 00:00:13,201
Melanie, please.
Language.
6
00:00:13,202 --> 00:00:14,736
Is that what you're
wearing on the plane?
7
00:00:14,737 --> 00:00:17,605
Mm. Someone's looking
to get bumped to first class.
8
00:00:17,606 --> 00:00:19,207
No, as soon
as I get to New York
9
00:00:19,208 --> 00:00:20,841
I have to rush
straight to Jenna's play.
10
00:00:20,842 --> 00:00:22,309
I'm not gonna
have time to change.
11
00:00:22,310 --> 00:00:24,475
That's a lot of boobage
for your daughter's play.
12
00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:29,673
Nice girls keep
their cookies in a jar.
13
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:34,562
Yes, I know,
14
00:00:34,563 --> 00:00:36,666
But Jenna set me up with
one of her friend's fathers,
15
00:00:36,667 --> 00:00:38,281
And we're going
out to dinner after.
16
00:00:38,282 --> 00:00:40,790
Oh, in that case, chips ahoy!
17
00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:43,808
- Bye.
- Have a safe flight.
18
00:00:46,721 --> 00:00:49,132
Oh, what did she forget now?
19
00:00:49,133 --> 00:00:50,570
- Hello.
- Hello.
20
00:00:50,571 --> 00:00:51,807
Uh, is Elka here?
21
00:00:51,808 --> 00:00:53,446
Nick?
22
00:00:53,447 --> 00:00:55,419
Oh, hi.
23
00:00:55,420 --> 00:00:57,258
I believe you left this behind
24
00:00:57,259 --> 00:00:59,597
At the dance, princess.
25
00:00:59,598 --> 00:01:02,772
Well, I had to rush off
when the clock struck 9:00.
26
00:01:02,773 --> 00:01:05,079
Yeah, well...
27
00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:07,485
could we talk?
28
00:01:07,486 --> 00:01:10,292
Oh, sure.
I'll be right out.
29
00:01:10,293 --> 00:01:14,536
Oh, well, it's
a little cold and damp...
30
00:01:14,537 --> 00:01:16,108
What's going on here?
31
00:01:16,109 --> 00:01:18,080
I thought you went to
the dance with Max last night.
32
00:01:18,081 --> 00:01:19,516
I did.
33
00:01:19,517 --> 00:01:21,521
But then Nick
asked me to dance,
34
00:01:21,522 --> 00:01:23,694
And one thing led to another.
35
00:01:23,695 --> 00:01:25,366
You cheated on Max?
36
00:01:25,367 --> 00:01:27,772
Twice.
37
00:01:27,773 --> 00:01:31,883
First a waltz,
and then a polka.
38
00:01:31,884 --> 00:01:33,286
That's it?
You danced?
39
00:01:33,287 --> 00:01:35,424
A polka!
40
00:01:35,425 --> 00:01:39,801
The polish forbidden
dance of love.
41
00:01:39,802 --> 00:01:41,105
I'm gonna go out there
42
00:01:46,784 --> 00:01:48,650
Oh, you're not a swinger?
43
00:01:48,651 --> 00:01:51,583
I feel guilty enough already.
44
00:01:51,584 --> 00:01:55,281
I had fun last night
but I'm engaged to Max.
45
00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:57,547
Yeah, Max is
my friend too, you know.
46
00:01:57,548 --> 00:02:00,185
But last night,
when we were dancing,
47
00:02:00,186 --> 00:02:03,656
You can't deny
you felt a spark.
48
00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:07,563
Well, orthopedic shoes
on soft carpet...
49
00:02:07,564 --> 00:02:11,702
I wanna polka,
I wanna polka
50
00:02:11,703 --> 00:02:13,405
I wanna polka
51
00:02:13,406 --> 00:02:16,810
Oh, no!
It's happening again!
52
00:02:16,811 --> 00:02:19,381
Let's get naked.
53
00:02:19,382 --> 00:02:21,050
Oh, stop it.
54
00:02:21,051 --> 00:02:22,786
All right, you win.
I'm gonna go.
55
00:02:22,787 --> 00:02:25,023
But I'm not giving up.
56
00:02:25,024 --> 00:02:28,995
'cause faint heart
never won fair maiden.
57
00:02:30,765 --> 00:02:32,934
Oh, boy!
There's my pacemaker.
58
00:02:34,638 --> 00:02:36,638
Probably telling me
I'm overstimulated.
59
00:02:48,157 --> 00:02:49,892
Oh, baby.
Jenna, you were brilliant!
60
00:02:49,893 --> 00:02:51,361
I got applause!
61
00:02:51,362 --> 00:02:52,763
I did, right?
62
00:02:52,764 --> 00:02:54,500
I mean, it wasn't just
you clapping like a maniac?
63
00:02:54,501 --> 00:02:55,768
Hey, I wasn't even clapping.
64
00:02:55,769 --> 00:02:58,238
I was too busy yelling,
"that's my daughter!"
65
00:02:58,239 --> 00:03:00,373
Weird, I thought I
heard some man yelling it too.
66
00:03:00,374 --> 00:03:01,473
I did too.
67
00:03:01,474 --> 00:03:02,975
But dad said
he couldn't make it
68
00:03:02,976 --> 00:03:04,711
Because Kim
had a yoga emergency.
69
00:03:04,712 --> 00:03:06,747
Yeah, well...
Whatever that is.
70
00:03:06,748 --> 00:03:08,082
And frankly, I'm glad.
71
00:03:08,083 --> 00:03:09,350
Because I'm not quite prepared
72
00:03:09,351 --> 00:03:10,552
To run into
your father right now.
73
00:03:10,553 --> 00:03:13,054
Well, then this is awkward.
74
00:03:13,055 --> 00:03:15,658
Hello, Anders.
75
00:03:15,659 --> 00:03:17,227
Thank you.
76
00:03:17,228 --> 00:03:18,762
Who are they for?
77
00:03:18,763 --> 00:03:20,164
There's no name.
78
00:03:20,165 --> 00:03:23,168
Probably from my stalker.
79
00:03:24,604 --> 00:03:29,276
I see he got your
change of address card.
80
00:03:29,277 --> 00:03:32,279
"to the girl with more curves
than the Medina freeway. "
81
00:03:34,183 --> 00:03:37,385
They're for me.
82
00:03:37,386 --> 00:03:39,555
From Nick.
He's the poet.
83
00:03:39,556 --> 00:03:41,224
That's poetry?
84
00:03:41,225 --> 00:03:44,227
What does it
say on your flowers?
85
00:03:46,397 --> 00:03:49,901
So Nick is not gonna
take no for an answer, huh?
86
00:03:49,902 --> 00:03:51,703
No.
87
00:03:51,704 --> 00:03:55,407
I've never been
in a triangle before.
88
00:03:55,408 --> 00:03:58,411
You girls are slutty,
what would you do?
89
00:04:03,051 --> 00:04:06,420
Geometry's more
Victoria's specialty.
90
00:04:06,421 --> 00:04:08,256
She's been in
triangles, squares.
91
00:04:08,257 --> 00:04:10,926
Yeah, I was almost
in a hexagon once, but...
92
00:04:10,927 --> 00:04:13,396
At the last minute,
the twins dropped out, so.
93
00:04:14,998 --> 00:04:17,500
- Hi.
- Hey, how did it go?
94
00:04:17,501 --> 00:04:20,737
Well, Jenna rocked,
and Anders and I made out.
95
00:04:20,738 --> 00:04:23,473
See, slutty.
96
00:04:23,474 --> 00:04:24,908
Anders was there?
97
00:04:24,909 --> 00:04:26,476
You kissed Anders?
98
00:04:26,477 --> 00:04:28,778
How did this happen
and where was Kim?
99
00:04:28,779 --> 00:04:31,213
Oh, Kim didn't show,
and my date never happened.
100
00:04:31,214 --> 00:04:33,116
And then Anders and I took
Jenna out to dinner,
101
00:04:33,117 --> 00:04:35,018
And then we met up
for drinks afterwards,
102
00:04:35,019 --> 00:04:37,420
And before knew it
all these little, old feelings
103
00:04:37,421 --> 00:04:39,989
Snuck up on me
and just blindsided me.
104
00:04:39,990 --> 00:04:42,925
Bloody feelings,
spoil everything.
105
00:04:42,926 --> 00:04:44,359
I know this sounds crazy,
106
00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:45,894
But you know
those dumb romantic comedies
107
00:04:45,895 --> 00:04:47,295
That I love so much?
108
00:04:47,296 --> 00:04:48,763
Well, I felt like
I was in the middle of one.
109
00:04:48,764 --> 00:04:50,731
I could just
hear the announcer...
110
00:04:50,732 --> 00:04:52,499
"sometimes the one you're
looking for
111
00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:55,701
Is the one that
was there all along. "
112
00:04:55,702 --> 00:04:58,704
"only the biggest hearts
can love more than one. "
113
00:05:03,209 --> 00:05:05,477
"she mastered
the craft of acting,
114
00:05:05,478 --> 00:05:08,479
And then
the art of loving. "
115
00:05:12,050 --> 00:05:15,418
I'm ashamed to be a woman.
116
00:05:15,419 --> 00:05:17,152
Listen,
fooling around with exes
117
00:05:17,153 --> 00:05:19,587
Is a perfectly natural
and often beautiful part
118
00:05:19,588 --> 00:05:20,655
Of every relationship.
119
00:05:20,656 --> 00:05:23,189
I've slept with all of mine.
120
00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:25,391
- Even the gay one?
- Yes.
121
00:05:25,392 --> 00:05:28,393
He was questioning his
questioning of his sexuality.
122
00:05:28,394 --> 00:05:30,395
But as soon
as we hit the sheets,
123
00:05:30,396 --> 00:05:32,463
We got into a discussion
about thread count,
124
00:05:32,464 --> 00:05:34,764
And well, game over.
125
00:05:37,900 --> 00:05:40,735
Melanie, what have I
told you about romantic movies?
126
00:05:40,736 --> 00:05:42,803
That they're never
as good as their trailers.
127
00:05:42,804 --> 00:05:44,737
Yes, and that they have
nothing to do with real life.
128
00:05:44,738 --> 00:05:48,008
It was one makeout session,
it's over, forget about him.
129
00:05:49,344 --> 00:05:53,083
It's Anders.
"I need to see you again. "
130
00:05:53,084 --> 00:05:54,619
Write back "no. "
131
00:05:54,620 --> 00:05:57,256
And put one of those frowny
faces with the angry eyes.
132
00:05:58,558 --> 00:06:01,827
I'm texting him back,
"I'm not sure. "
133
00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:05,329
I'm gonna have
to think about this.
134
00:06:05,330 --> 00:06:08,832
"while I'm waiting,
can I use your bathroom?"
135
00:06:15,138 --> 00:06:16,639
Anders, this is crazy.
136
00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:18,173
You're engaged to Kim.
137
00:06:18,174 --> 00:06:20,775
Well, truth is, we've
been having some problems.
138
00:06:20,776 --> 00:06:25,079
Ha! Typical.
139
00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:27,181
He breaks up with his bimbo,
140
00:06:27,182 --> 00:06:28,382
Then comes
running back to Melanie.
141
00:06:28,383 --> 00:06:30,417
That's just morally wrong.
142
00:06:30,418 --> 00:06:32,619
I say we kill him.
143
00:06:32,620 --> 00:06:34,520
We can't do anything now.
144
00:06:34,521 --> 00:06:36,622
I mean, we're in
girlfriend purgatory.
145
00:06:36,623 --> 00:06:38,290
If we tell her to dump him
146
00:06:38,291 --> 00:06:39,825
And they end up
getting remarried,
147
00:06:39,826 --> 00:06:41,193
Then we're screwed.
148
00:06:41,194 --> 00:06:42,394
But if we don't say anything
149
00:06:42,395 --> 00:06:43,628
And he ends up breaking
her heart again,
150
00:06:43,629 --> 00:06:44,729
We're screwed.
151
00:06:44,730 --> 00:06:47,531
God.
152
00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:49,265
I miss you, Melanie.
And I miss us.
153
00:06:49,266 --> 00:06:53,801
Well, there are times that,
you know, I miss you too.
154
00:06:53,802 --> 00:06:57,871
But...
155
00:06:57,872 --> 00:06:58,973
Oh, okay.
156
00:06:58,974 --> 00:07:00,408
One dinner
wouldn't hurt, right?
157
00:07:00,409 --> 00:07:03,044
We're screwed.
158
00:07:03,045 --> 00:07:06,080
Screwed, stewed, and tattooed.
159
00:07:06,081 --> 00:07:08,115
That's from a
Tennessee William's play.
160
00:07:08,116 --> 00:07:11,218
I played Esmeralda
in summer stock.
161
00:07:11,219 --> 00:07:12,986
You know, I didn't think
162
00:07:12,987 --> 00:07:15,088
You'd be able to make
this about yourself.
163
00:07:15,089 --> 00:07:17,089
I underestimated you.
164
00:07:23,096 --> 00:07:24,296
Oh, joy.
165
00:07:24,297 --> 00:07:25,897
I just had
the scare of my life.
166
00:07:25,898 --> 00:07:30,234
Did you get dressed
under overhead lighting again?
167
00:07:30,235 --> 00:07:31,703
Yes, and I'm thinking about
168
00:07:31,704 --> 00:07:35,039
Getting the plans out
again for Victoria 2.0.
169
00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:39,776
And I need you to either
talk me into it or out of it.
170
00:07:39,777 --> 00:07:42,778
No sag, visible ribbage, mm.
171
00:07:42,779 --> 00:07:46,115
Hey, people eat in here!
172
00:07:46,116 --> 00:07:48,483
Don't you have
a house of your own?
173
00:07:48,484 --> 00:07:51,520
I need advice.
174
00:07:51,521 --> 00:07:55,322
Both Max and Nick
have invited me
175
00:07:55,323 --> 00:07:57,657
To the senior center
luau tonight.
176
00:07:57,658 --> 00:07:59,292
What time is the luau?
177
00:07:59,293 --> 00:08:01,294
Dinnertime.
178
00:08:01,295 --> 00:08:04,296
4:30.
179
00:08:04,297 --> 00:08:06,264
So go to the luau with one,
180
00:08:06,265 --> 00:08:09,000
And meet the other
after for a nightcap.
181
00:08:09,001 --> 00:08:11,702
Thank you, I'll stay home.
182
00:08:11,703 --> 00:08:14,038
Yeah, but that's
the opposite of what I said.
183
00:08:14,039 --> 00:08:16,306
I know.
I've seen your love life.
184
00:08:19,944 --> 00:08:21,478
Oh, sugar foot!
185
00:08:21,479 --> 00:08:23,145
I always trip on
that gosh darn step.
186
00:08:23,146 --> 00:08:27,215
Ugh, it's like
a Mamet play in here.
187
00:08:27,216 --> 00:08:28,383
Okay, I need your help.
188
00:08:28,384 --> 00:08:29,951
Do you guys think Mirabella's
189
00:08:29,952 --> 00:08:32,053
Is too romantic a place for
a lunch with Anders?
190
00:08:32,054 --> 00:08:34,688
Why is everyone always asking
us for romantic advice?
191
00:08:34,689 --> 00:08:37,557
Yeah, since when did
we become the gay best friend?
192
00:08:37,558 --> 00:08:41,194
You guys gotta help me,
I'm so confused.
193
00:08:41,195 --> 00:08:44,863
On the one hand, it took me
a long time to get over Anders.
194
00:08:44,864 --> 00:08:46,631
Well, then cancel lunch.
195
00:08:46,632 --> 00:08:47,933
But on the other hand,
196
00:08:47,934 --> 00:08:50,068
I've always dreamed
he'd come crawling back.
197
00:08:50,069 --> 00:08:51,402
Then go.
198
00:08:51,403 --> 00:08:53,570
They make a delicious
chocolate mousse for two.
199
00:08:53,571 --> 00:08:54,972
It's probably even better
200
00:08:54,973 --> 00:08:56,973
If you have someone
to share it with.
201
00:08:59,143 --> 00:09:00,677
You're sending mixed messages.
202
00:09:00,678 --> 00:09:02,745
We're just
staying wisely neutral.
203
00:09:02,746 --> 00:09:05,548
Please, just give me
something, anything!
204
00:09:05,549 --> 00:09:07,983
Okay, whenever I'm considering
getting back with an ex,
205
00:09:07,984 --> 00:09:10,418
I always try on
the wedding ring he gave me.
206
00:09:10,419 --> 00:09:12,854
Oh, and then if you slip it on
207
00:09:12,855 --> 00:09:14,555
And it feels right you know?
208
00:09:14,556 --> 00:09:17,224
Actually, I go more
by how many karats
209
00:09:17,225 --> 00:09:19,759
Are bouncing light
back into my eyes.
210
00:09:21,562 --> 00:09:24,997
But I'm sure your way
would work too.
211
00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:28,000
Mel's not ready.
212
00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:29,367
We're here to stall.
213
00:09:29,368 --> 00:09:31,536
Would you like some wine?
Uh, no.
214
00:09:31,537 --> 00:09:33,705
Actually what I could
use is some advice.
215
00:09:33,706 --> 00:09:35,206
Hm, again with the advice.
216
00:09:35,207 --> 00:09:38,009
Oh, just embrace it.
217
00:09:38,010 --> 00:09:39,677
Kim and I are
getting back together,
218
00:09:39,678 --> 00:09:41,044
And I'm flying
back to L.A. Today,
219
00:09:41,045 --> 00:09:43,380
And I don't know
how to tell Melanie.
220
00:09:43,381 --> 00:09:45,815
Ah.
221
00:09:48,666 --> 00:09:52,612
I've never kneed a man
in his manhood before.
222
00:09:52,613 --> 00:09:54,081
I could get used to it.
223
00:09:54,082 --> 00:09:57,549
- Listen...
- What did we say about talking?
224
00:09:57,550 --> 00:10:00,519
Now I have pointy knees too.
225
00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:01,886
Listen, I've
come up with a plan,
226
00:10:01,887 --> 00:10:03,154
But I'm gonna need your help.
227
00:10:03,155 --> 00:10:04,555
I have told you before,
228
00:10:04,556 --> 00:10:07,991
I am far too recognizable
to help you hide a dead body.
229
00:10:07,992 --> 00:10:09,826
What?
Sh!
230
00:10:09,827 --> 00:10:12,428
We are not gonna
let him hurt Melanie again.
231
00:10:12,429 --> 00:10:14,997
Because this time you're
gonna let her break up with you.
232
00:10:14,998 --> 00:10:16,899
No, but she doesn't
wanna break up with him.
233
00:10:16,900 --> 00:10:18,367
She will when
we're done with her.
234
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:20,035
And you better act sad.
235
00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:21,970
In fact, you better cry.
236
00:10:21,971 --> 00:10:24,972
Or I'll give you
something to cry about.
237
00:10:24,973 --> 00:10:26,841
I'm good.
238
00:10:26,842 --> 00:10:29,109
Just wait for my signal.
239
00:10:32,212 --> 00:10:33,813
Oh, I thought I heard voices,
240
00:10:33,814 --> 00:10:35,280
Is Anders here?
No, it wasn't him.
241
00:10:35,281 --> 00:10:39,084
Child collecting money,
some tragedy.
242
00:10:39,085 --> 00:10:41,286
Oh, God, you actually
put on the ring?
243
00:10:41,287 --> 00:10:43,454
Yeah, I did, and
now I can't get it off.
244
00:10:43,455 --> 00:10:44,822
Maybe it's a sign.
245
00:10:44,823 --> 00:10:46,624
It is.
246
00:10:46,625 --> 00:10:50,760
A sign that Anders is the devil
and should burn in hell.
247
00:10:50,761 --> 00:10:52,463
What happened
to neutral girlfriends?
248
00:10:52,464 --> 00:10:55,231
Well, we decided that
we owe you better than that.
249
00:10:55,232 --> 00:10:58,801
The neutral is the one color
that I cannot play.
250
00:11:00,236 --> 00:11:02,471
You don't need Anders anymore.
251
00:11:02,472 --> 00:11:04,272
The old Melanie
may have needed him,
252
00:11:04,273 --> 00:11:07,608
But the new Melanie is fabulous,
confident, and independent.
253
00:11:07,609 --> 00:11:09,442
- I have changed.
- Yes.
254
00:11:09,443 --> 00:11:11,711
What hasn't changed is Anders.
255
00:11:11,712 --> 00:11:12,979
Now he cheated on you,
256
00:11:12,980 --> 00:11:14,646
And now he's
cheating on Kim with you.
257
00:11:14,647 --> 00:11:18,650
The new Melanie deserves
far better than the old Anders.
258
00:11:18,651 --> 00:11:21,252
- Ooh, that's good.
- Thank you.
259
00:11:21,253 --> 00:11:22,920
I mean she's right.
260
00:11:22,921 --> 00:11:24,989
I didn't think of it that way.
261
00:11:24,990 --> 00:11:26,924
He is still cheating, isn't he?
262
00:11:26,925 --> 00:11:29,659
He hasn't changed at all,
but I have changed.
263
00:11:29,660 --> 00:11:32,461
- We just said that.
- Shut up.
264
00:11:32,462 --> 00:11:33,862
So whenever he gets here...
265
00:11:33,863 --> 00:11:36,764
By the way, what kind
of a guy keeps you waiting?
266
00:11:36,765 --> 00:11:38,633
You know what
you have to do, right?
267
00:11:38,634 --> 00:11:41,902
Yeah, I guess.
268
00:11:41,903 --> 00:11:44,838
I do wanna move forward,
not backward.
269
00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:49,575
Ah! Perfect timing.
270
00:11:49,576 --> 00:11:52,778
Okay, now stay strong
and stick to your guns.
271
00:11:52,779 --> 00:11:54,146
This is gonna be really hard.
272
00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:56,615
Or incredibly easy.
273
00:11:56,616 --> 00:12:00,552
Who can say?
Ah.
274
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,054
- Good-bye, Anders.
275
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:06,424
I really do think this is
the best for both of us.
276
00:12:06,425 --> 00:12:07,792
Oh...
277
00:12:07,793 --> 00:12:10,427
You really do look
like you're in a lot of pain.
278
00:12:10,428 --> 00:12:13,196
I can honestly say I am.
279
00:12:13,197 --> 00:12:15,898
What's happening now?
280
00:12:15,899 --> 00:12:17,633
She's making some sappy speech
281
00:12:17,634 --> 00:12:20,602
And he's
overplaying like crazy.
282
00:12:20,603 --> 00:12:25,172
It's like one of
those warm moments on glee.
283
00:12:25,173 --> 00:12:26,606
She's coming!
284
00:12:26,607 --> 00:12:29,608
Act natural.
285
00:12:35,678 --> 00:12:37,379
Well, I feel terrible.
286
00:12:37,380 --> 00:12:38,414
He was crushed.
287
00:12:38,415 --> 00:12:40,382
Well, better him than you.
288
00:12:40,383 --> 00:12:42,350
So...
Who's up for mojitos?
289
00:12:42,351 --> 00:12:43,718
Ah.
290
00:12:43,719 --> 00:12:45,085
Guys, I know
you don't like him,
291
00:12:45,086 --> 00:12:47,888
But he was really
sincere this time.
292
00:12:47,889 --> 00:12:49,156
I mean, he cried.
293
00:12:49,157 --> 00:12:50,690
I have never
seen him cry before.
294
00:12:50,691 --> 00:12:53,058
Maybe he has changed.
295
00:12:53,059 --> 00:12:54,993
Maybe he's new Anders,
296
00:12:54,994 --> 00:12:56,661
And new Melanie
just made a big mistake.
297
00:12:56,662 --> 00:12:58,729
Noo.
No, no, no, no mistake.
298
00:12:58,730 --> 00:13:00,630
New Melanie, good.
299
00:13:00,631 --> 00:13:03,899
Maybe this is like those
movies that I love so much.
300
00:13:03,900 --> 00:13:05,368
And this would be the scene
301
00:13:05,369 --> 00:13:06,670
Where I Chase him
to the airport
302
00:13:06,671 --> 00:13:07,905
And I catch him
at the very last minute.
303
00:13:07,906 --> 00:13:09,640
Those movies are stupid.
304
00:13:09,641 --> 00:13:11,240
I mean, by the time you park,
get the shuttle,
305
00:13:11,241 --> 00:13:13,241
All that running...
they're just stupid, okay?
306
00:13:15,278 --> 00:13:16,578
What if he's so happy to see me
307
00:13:16,579 --> 00:13:18,847
He just lifts me up
in his arms.
308
00:13:18,848 --> 00:13:20,882
Oh, it'd be so romantic.
309
00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:22,750
I'm going.
310
00:13:22,751 --> 00:13:24,751
Melanie, stop.
311
00:13:26,020 --> 00:13:29,089
Anders and Kim
got back together.
312
00:13:29,090 --> 00:13:30,926
What?
313
00:13:30,927 --> 00:13:32,227
He didn't know how to tell you,
314
00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:33,695
So we made him promise
315
00:13:33,696 --> 00:13:35,262
To let you break up
with him this time.
316
00:13:35,263 --> 00:13:36,563
So you wouldn't get hurt again.
317
00:13:36,564 --> 00:13:39,866
are you kidding me?
318
00:13:39,867 --> 00:13:41,668
How could you guys
do this to me?
319
00:13:41,669 --> 00:13:45,571
It was all joy's idea.
320
00:13:45,572 --> 00:13:46,972
I just got swept up.
321
00:13:46,973 --> 00:13:52,610
You and I were both innocent
pawns in her little game.
322
00:13:52,611 --> 00:13:53,878
Where are you going?
323
00:13:53,879 --> 00:13:56,280
To catch him before
he gets on that plane!
324
00:13:56,281 --> 00:13:59,616
Should we have gone after her?
325
00:13:59,617 --> 00:14:02,552
No. You know
how these movies work.
326
00:14:02,553 --> 00:14:04,521
The well-meaning best friends
don't show up again
327
00:14:04,522 --> 00:14:05,888
Until she
marries the right guy,
328
00:14:05,889 --> 00:14:08,424
And that's way, way, way
at the end of the thing.
329
00:14:08,425 --> 00:14:10,058
One of us winds up dancing with
330
00:14:10,059 --> 00:14:11,426
The bride's Randy grandfather,
331
00:14:11,427 --> 00:14:13,895
And the other one hooks up
with the handsome cater waiter.
332
00:14:13,896 --> 00:14:17,164
- I call the cater waiter.
- Fine.
333
00:14:17,165 --> 00:14:19,266
Oh, did I mention
that the Randy grandfather
334
00:14:19,267 --> 00:14:22,903
Is a billionaire?
335
00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:24,237
Fine.
336
00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:27,107
Did I mention the cater waiter's
a secret prince?
337
00:14:27,108 --> 00:14:29,142
And did I mention
that the grandfather
338
00:14:29,143 --> 00:14:31,810
Is aging backwards,
like Brad Pitt.
339
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:42,114
Ooh, Anders!
340
00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:44,516
Anders, Anders!
341
00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:46,618
Ticketed passengers
only, ma'am.
342
00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:48,086
Oh, I know, but that man
in the blue shirt and khakis,
343
00:14:48,087 --> 00:14:49,287
I gotta get him back.
344
00:14:49,288 --> 00:14:51,055
See, I listened
to my girlfriends,
345
00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:52,756
And I shouldn't have. So now
I just have to make it right
346
00:14:52,757 --> 00:14:54,491
Before he gets on
that plane, please.
347
00:14:54,492 --> 00:14:56,459
Wow. This is
just like the last scene
348
00:14:56,460 --> 00:14:58,761
In all of those
romantic comedies.
349
00:14:58,762 --> 00:15:02,364
Yeah, where time is
of the essence.
350
00:15:02,365 --> 00:15:03,865
Jennifer, there's a guy wearing
351
00:15:03,866 --> 00:15:05,867
A blue shirt and khakis
headed your way,
352
00:15:05,868 --> 00:15:08,636
Could you send him back please?
353
00:15:08,637 --> 00:15:10,070
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
354
00:15:10,071 --> 00:15:12,172
I just need one more chance
to tell him how I feel.
355
00:15:12,173 --> 00:15:13,406
So let me guess.
356
00:15:13,407 --> 00:15:15,474
You worked with him,
but you never saw him
357
00:15:15,475 --> 00:15:16,741
As the kind of guy
you would go out with.
358
00:15:16,742 --> 00:15:18,976
Or... or you
were complete opposites,
359
00:15:18,977 --> 00:15:22,013
Until the stuck-up rich guy
you were about to marry...
360
00:15:22,014 --> 00:15:24,216
Melanie...
361
00:15:24,217 --> 00:15:25,784
What's going on?
362
00:15:25,785 --> 00:15:29,487
Anders, joy and Victoria
told me everything.
363
00:15:29,488 --> 00:15:31,456
But before you
get on that airplane
364
00:15:31,457 --> 00:15:33,457
I really need to
tell you how I feel.
365
00:15:37,027 --> 00:15:39,528
You are the biggest.
366
00:15:39,529 --> 00:15:42,531
You cheated on me
while we were married,
367
00:15:42,532 --> 00:15:45,632
And then you used me to
cheat on your fiance
368
00:15:45,633 --> 00:15:47,733
Because you don't know
what the you want?
369
00:15:47,734 --> 00:15:50,302
You are a selfish!
370
00:15:50,303 --> 00:15:51,804
Who doesn't think about
anybody else but himself,
371
00:15:51,805 --> 00:15:55,376
So you know what, you
can just go yourself!
372
00:15:57,146 --> 00:16:01,316
Really saw
that going another way.
373
00:16:01,317 --> 00:16:03,317
Ooh, puppy tails!
374
00:16:11,525 --> 00:16:13,991
Oh, hello there, Max.
375
00:16:13,992 --> 00:16:15,226
Is Elka here?
376
00:16:15,227 --> 00:16:18,629
She isn't returning my tweets.
377
00:16:18,630 --> 00:16:20,397
Come in.
378
00:16:20,398 --> 00:16:22,499
Hello,
379
00:16:22,500 --> 00:16:25,568
I'm looking for a little
bit of heaven in a track suit.
380
00:16:25,569 --> 00:16:27,069
Ah.
381
00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:29,305
She should be
around here somewhere.
382
00:16:33,042 --> 00:16:34,309
What are you doing here?
383
00:16:34,310 --> 00:16:35,743
What am I doing here?
384
00:16:35,744 --> 00:16:37,278
I came to see my girl.
385
00:16:37,279 --> 00:16:39,581
Your girl?
386
00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:41,516
Oh, Elka...
387
00:16:41,517 --> 00:16:43,618
You have company.
388
00:16:50,524 --> 00:16:54,526
Nick, Max,
what a colorful surprise.
389
00:16:54,527 --> 00:16:56,628
I told you I
wasn't going to the luau.
390
00:16:56,629 --> 00:16:59,031
You've been cheating on
me with this putz?
391
00:16:59,032 --> 00:17:04,336
Putz? What the heart wants
the heart gets, cue ball.
392
00:17:04,337 --> 00:17:05,970
It was one polka.
393
00:17:05,971 --> 00:17:08,206
It was just physical,
it didn't mean anything.
394
00:17:08,207 --> 00:17:09,407
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
395
00:17:09,408 --> 00:17:11,275
You have to admit
what we have between us
396
00:17:11,276 --> 00:17:13,276
Is raw and powerful.
397
00:17:13,277 --> 00:17:17,146
I'll introduce you
to raw and powerful.
398
00:17:17,147 --> 00:17:19,615
Put 'em up, if
you can still get them up.
399
00:17:19,616 --> 00:17:20,982
- Really, huh?
- Come on.
400
00:17:20,983 --> 00:17:22,350
When I get through with you,
401
00:17:22,351 --> 00:17:24,786
You're gonna be eating your bran
muffin through a straw.
402
00:17:24,787 --> 00:17:26,588
Please, please...
403
00:17:26,589 --> 00:17:29,823
Fighting isn't gonna
help Elka make up her mind.
404
00:17:29,824 --> 00:17:31,824
Sure it is.
405
00:17:37,396 --> 00:17:38,563
Hey!
406
00:17:38,564 --> 00:17:40,364
What's going on in here?
407
00:17:40,365 --> 00:17:41,565
They're fighting over Elka.
408
00:17:41,566 --> 00:17:42,632
Oh!
409
00:17:42,633 --> 00:17:44,167
So what happened with Anders?
410
00:17:44,168 --> 00:17:45,401
Ah, it was wonderful.
411
00:17:45,402 --> 00:17:48,205
The old Melanie, she was
too nice to let it out.
412
00:17:48,206 --> 00:17:51,240
But the new Melanie,
she let it fly.
413
00:17:51,241 --> 00:17:53,643
I dropped the f-bomb,
like, 15 times.
414
00:17:53,644 --> 00:17:55,578
I could not be more proud.
415
00:17:55,579 --> 00:17:57,479
- So what did you say.
- Oh, you wouldn't believe it.
416
00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:58,880
The security guard was there,
417
00:18:01,150 --> 00:18:02,951
Take the hen party outside,
418
00:18:02,952 --> 00:18:05,320
You're ruining my fight.
419
00:18:05,321 --> 00:18:07,922
Come on, guys.
Mix it up.
420
00:18:07,923 --> 00:18:10,892
No, I don't wanna win
you in a fight.
421
00:18:10,893 --> 00:18:12,660
You know I want you.
422
00:18:12,661 --> 00:18:14,061
If you wanna
be with this shrimp,
423
00:18:14,062 --> 00:18:18,164
So be it.
I just want you to be happy.
424
00:18:18,165 --> 00:18:21,600
Oh, Max, that's so you.
425
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,169
And I love that.
426
00:18:23,170 --> 00:18:26,105
- You do?
- Of course.
427
00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:29,408
That's why I'm your girl,
and always will be.
428
00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:32,477
I'm sorry, Nick.
Yeah, yeah.
429
00:18:32,478 --> 00:18:34,378
That's all right,
I gave it my best shot.
430
00:18:34,379 --> 00:18:38,415
Who can blame you?
431
00:18:38,416 --> 00:18:41,484
You know, there'll
be a whole sea of blue hair
432
00:18:41,485 --> 00:18:43,419
At the luau tonight.
433
00:18:43,420 --> 00:18:45,787
How about you
just go and dive in?
434
00:18:47,690 --> 00:18:49,591
- Uh-oh.
435
00:18:49,592 --> 00:18:53,194
Oh, I'm sorry,
I was just picturing it.
436
00:18:53,195 --> 00:18:55,329
Hi, Evelyn.
Love your shirt.
437
00:18:55,330 --> 00:18:58,064
those coconuts real?
438
00:19:01,567 --> 00:19:02,701
Excuse me.
439
00:19:02,702 --> 00:19:04,436
Can I get
a stick of butter, please?
440
00:19:04,437 --> 00:19:08,071
I know you're upset,
but let's not go crazy.
441
00:19:08,072 --> 00:19:10,140
I'm not gonna eat it,
I can't get this ring off.
442
00:19:10,141 --> 00:19:12,008
Well, I'm glad
you told Anders off.
443
00:19:12,009 --> 00:19:13,876
And I hope this
cures you of your belief
444
00:19:13,877 --> 00:19:15,877
In all that romantic
comedy nonsense.
445
00:19:22,884 --> 00:19:24,218
I hear music swelling.
446
00:19:24,219 --> 00:19:27,521
hi.
447
00:19:27,522 --> 00:19:28,922
Is this your wedding ring?
448
00:19:28,923 --> 00:19:30,656
Well, it was.
449
00:19:30,657 --> 00:19:32,091
So it's mine now?
450
00:19:32,092 --> 00:19:34,827
no, it's complicated.
451
00:19:34,828 --> 00:19:36,361
Well, how
about I buy you a drink
452
00:19:36,362 --> 00:19:37,362
And you explain it to me?
453
00:19:37,363 --> 00:19:38,964
I'd like that.
454
00:19:38,965 --> 00:19:40,465
I'm Melanie.
455
00:19:40,466 --> 00:19:42,466
Nice to meet you, Melanie.
456
00:19:43,468 --> 00:19:45,603
I'm Pete.
457
00:19:45,604 --> 00:19:47,671
Nice to meet you, Pete.
458
00:19:50,707 --> 00:19:52,072
What are you doing?
459
00:19:52,073 --> 00:19:53,707
Hey, she caught one
by accident,
460
00:19:53,708 --> 00:19:55,708
Imagine if we aimed?
461
00:20:03,448 --> 00:20:04,749
Unbelievable.
462
00:20:04,750 --> 00:20:09,921
Shut up, I hear music swelling.
463
00:20:09,922 --> 00:20:12,090
Here's your butter.
464
00:20:12,091 --> 00:20:14,859
Enjoy.
465
00:20:17,028 --> 00:20:20,030
Oh, what the hell.
466
00:20:26,899 --> 00:20:29,968
Desperate much?
467
00:20:30,018 --> 00:20:34,568
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