All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes s02e30 The Reluctant Target.eng

ANNOUNCER:
CBS presents this program in color.

( theme song playing )

HOGAN:
From the information we've gathered on the troop movements,

they're converging on this area
right here.

MAN:
Mmm.

That's a lot of Germans

to be meeting
in one place.

We think they're planning
on a big push.

You're going to have to try
and slow them down.

Well, we can blow up
these bridges.

Land mines on these roads

will take care of
the truck convoys.

Don't forget
the air fields.

I never forget
an air field.

Just one thing
that bothers me

about this
whole operation.

What's that?

We gathered the information
too easy.

Oh, that's the
way it happens in this business.

Sometimes it comes easy,
sometimes not so easy,

and sometimes not at all.

You better get ready
to move out.

LeBeau's going to release
some of those dogs

to create a diversion.

All right.

Everything's clear
up here, sir.

Good luck.

Thank you.

Good luck.

( tapping )

( trap door whirring )

Pierre get off okay?

He should be
at the other end of the tunnel by now.

( dogs barking )

Well, LeBeau's letting
the dogs loose. Good.

( gunshots )
( alarm sounding )

Something went wrong.

What happened
to the dogs?

I let them out

and they started
chasing a rabbit.

And they say a dog
is man's best friend.

Hey, Schultzy!
Schultzy!

Back... back...
everybody...

Everybody back
from the prisoner!

Back... back from the prisoner.

Oh, blimey, that's
a nice overcoat.

He must be in
the black market.

Quiet!

Herr Kommandant!

I caught this prisoner
outside the fence.

So what were you doing there?

Let me see your papers.

I don't have any papers.

I lost them.

That's very suspicious.

How can you
say that?

Hogan, we're not interested
in what you're saying.

Herr Kommandant,
I searched him.

He has nothing.

Mm-hmm.

Search these men.

( giggling )

Oh, Schultz.

Cut it out!

CARTER:
I don't have anything.

Don't tickle me, Schultzy,
please.

Herr Kommandant, nothing.

See? The man's
a nobody.

On the contrary,
my dear, Hogan.

He's a somebody.

This man is a spy.

How can you say that?

You found nothing on him
that was suspicious.

That in itself
is suspicious.

Now you can search
over 100,000 persons

and not one person will
have absolutely nothing

in his pockets.

Now that not only
makes him suspicious,

but that makes him
guilty.

He's a spy.

Isn't that logical,
Hogan?

If that's so, you'll find a lot
of spies at the beach.

( groans )

So you won't answer
any questions?

All right, Mr. Spy.

If you don't answer
them now,

you will answer
them later.

We have ways of handling that.

Take him to the guard house.

Jawohl,
Herr Kommandant.

Hmm, imagine an ordinary spy
trying to match wits with me.

It's pitiful.

You got a complete
confession out of him, of course.

Not exactly.

But the Gestapo has ways
of making a man talk.

You're turning him over
to the Gestapo?

Wow, I suppose you know
what you're doing.

I know exactly
what I'm doing...

What's wrong
with what I'm doing?

What's wrong?
You caught a spy, right?

That's right.

You turn him over
to the Gestapo?

Exactly, yes.

They find out he's
a big, important spy,

who gets the credit,
you or the Gestapo?

I get...

I will personally question him
until he cracks.

You're just the man
to do it, sir.

( gunshot )

We're being attacked!

Whoever it was, he's gone.

Are you sure?

It's only my men
out there.

Search them!

There is no excuse
for such an accident.

You think
it was an accident?

Of course it was!

What else?

It was an accident!

Of course
it was an accident.

If you say so.

But I'm getting
out of here.

I don't want
to get involved

in another accident
by accident.

Colonel, I'm sorry about
that pistol going off.

Don't be sorry.

You just gave me an idea
of how we can spring Pierre.

You mean shoot Klink?

That's almost it.

Carter, get out your junior
chemistry set.

I want you to make up
a few little things.

Okay, Colonel.

Well, it's going to
have to be some plan

if you're going
to get rid

of those ten soldiers
guarding Pierre.

How you gonna do it?

Easy.

They're going to be guarding
somebody more important.

Colonel...
can I see you a minute?

Yes, Hogan, what
is it? I'm busy.

We'd like you to help settle
an argument, sir.

What argument?

Well, we can't seem to agree

which is the most perfect
Aryan type.

I say it's Goering.

You're right.

I say
it's Goebbels.

You're right, too.

Oh, for me it's Himmler.

You're all right.

They're all perfect.

KLINK:
Air raid!

What's happening?

What was that explosion.

Nothing, Colonel.

Just another accident.

I can't understand it.

Why would anyone want
to kill me?

Who have I ever hurt?

Maybe it isn't personal.

There is nothing
more personal than being killed.

Maybe it's some kind
of psychopathic killer.

Somebody that just has
the urge to kill, kill, kill.

Ah... don't worry about that.

That kind of killer
always gets caught

because they never give up
trying.

They never give up
trying?

Not until
they get caught.

Sloppy of me.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Boy, that's strong coffee.

It's poisoned.

He's tried it again.

Now he's gone too far!

Thank you, Hogan.

He could have killed me!

We've got to find this guy,
this Mr. X.

Hogan,
how can we find him?

Do you realize how many men
are in this camp?

But only one man
is Mr. X.

Only one is the killer.

Shh!

There's no killer yet.

Why quibble about
a matter of time?

Please, Hogan,
everyone in my family

lived to be at least 80.

It's a tradition.

So you break tradition.

But I love tradition.

Maybe there is a way
to fool Mr. X

and get him
to show his hand.

There is?

Tell me;
I'll do anything.

It'd be dangerous.

Don't tell me.

Not for you;
for someone else.

Tell me.

We get somebody
to take your place

while you're
safely hidden.

Then the killer's
next move

would be against
the decoy.

You step in
and capture him.

Hogan,
that's a wonderful idea.

I know just the man
who could do it.

Who?
You.

Not me!

I'd be a sitting duck.
Get someone else.

No, I can't.

Suppose the man I picked
turned out to be Mr. X himself?

Well, that's
your funeral. ( moans )

Sorry.

Hogan, I'm not asking you
to do this for me.

You're not?

Look, if something happened
to me, who would be to blame?

You and your men.

I hadn't thought
of it that way.

So you see, you must look
at this selfishly,

for your own good.

You must do it, Hogan.

Okay.

Good.

Suppose you know
I could be shot as a spy

for wearing
this uniform.

Hogan, why don't you stop
worrying about yourself

and worry about me!

Sorry, sir, there goes
that selfish streak again.

You will stay in this office
until Mr. X makes his next move.

I shall hide in my quarters.

Mm-hmm.

Herr Kommandant, I...

Schultz, no one is to know
about this.

This is top secret.

I won't tell anybody,
but what's the secret?

Hogan is taking my place.

Now, if anyone asks for me,

just tell them I will be
right here in this office.

Oh.

I don't know
why I'm doing this.

That maniac could toss
a grenade in this office any time.

M-m-m, I better leave.

Hogan!

I don't want anything
to interfere

with your plans
to trap Mr. X.

I don't want to be
in the way either.

Hey...

Look at the colonel.

How do I look?

Good enough to kill.

You got yourself a new tailor?

What's up,
Colonel?

Klink is hiding
in his quarters

and I'm a sitting duck
for the mystery killer.

Is everything proceeding
according to plan?

Right on the nose.

Thank you.

Get Pierre out
of the guard house

and send him out through
the tunnel tonight.

What about the soldiers?

Don't worry about them.

They'll be guarding Klink
in his quarters.

You can be sure of that.

The coast will be clear.

Colonel Hogan,
there's a man who wants to see you.

Me? What's he want
to see me for?

Not you.

He wants to see
the Kommandant.

Tell him I'm not in.

Tell him...

You tell him.

Colonel Klink?

It all depends.

Who are you?

I want to speak with you,
Colonel.

Privately.

Jawohl.

I am General Brenner
of the SS.

My pleasure, sir.

You're not in uniform.

That's part of my being here.

My credentials.

Very good.

There's to be
a meeting tomorrow of the utmost secrecy.

I am in charge
of security.

A meeting? Where?

Right here in this camp.

I'm certainly flattered.

Your camp has been picked
because it is most convenient

for the three men
who will attend.

One is 108 kilometers away,
another 220 kilometers

and a third 250 kilometers.

About this meeting...

I'm sorry.

I can tell you nothing.

And naturally
you will say nothing.

You understand?

Naturally.

Can you give me a hint?

The meeting will
take place

tomorrow morning
at 0900 hours.

From now until
the meeting is over,

nobody is allowed
to leave or enter the camp.

No outgoing phone calls
will be accepted by the operator.

You've certainly thought
of everything.

In the SS we usually do.

Uh-huh.

You will see that all these
security measures are taken?

General,
you can depend on it.

As sure as my name
is Klink.

Everything squared away?

It's all set, Colonel.

Newkirk and LeBeau will have
Pierre out in a half an hour,

and then we'll put him through
the tunnel.

That's fine.

Something wrong,
Colonel?

I don't know.

There's going to be
a top-level,

top-secret meeting
at the camp here tomorrow.

I have a funny feeling.

Let me see a map.

All right, let's see.

Three men are coming
to the meeting.

One from 108 kilometers.

Now, there's our camp
right there.

108 kilometers.

220 kilometers.

250 kilometers.

What are you looking for,
Colonel?

I don't know.

There might be
some pattern here.

Hey, this circle
goes through

the Nazi Third Army
headquarters.

That's right.

And this circle is
the 15th Armored Division.

This circle, Field Marshal
Von Galter's headquarters.

Those are the three groups

that are converging on
this point here,

according to the information
we just gave to Pierre.

Yeah, that's right,

but I mean, if the plans
were already made,

why are they having
a meeting

and why is the meeting
so secret?

That's just what
I'd like to find out.

I've got to figure some way
to get to that meeting.

Expecting a friend?

Hogan, didn't you ever hear
of knocking?

In my own house?

Hogan, just because
you're wearing my uniform

doesn't mean
that you're me.

Good. I was afraid
this uniform might be contagious.

Hogan, why aren't you
at the office?

They may be looking
for me.

I mean, you.

This time of night, Mr. X
wouldn't be looking there.

He'd be looking here.

He would?

Here?

It's only logical.

I am not interested
in logic!

As a matter of fact
the whole thing is becoming so ridiculous,

it's laughable.

It's a brave man
who can laugh at death.

Hogan,

I am going to my office
tomorrow.

Now there must be
a simple explanation

for what has happened.

The simplest.

Somebody down here hates you.

By the way,
did Schultz tell you

a man came
to the office today?

Yes.

Who was it?

A very suspicious character.

He might very well
be our man.

( chuckles )

He said he was from
the Gestapo.

Why should that
be suspicious?

Because he was a pleasant,
likable guy.

You're right.

There is no one
in the Gestapo

that fits
that description.

Why didn't you
have him arrested?

Because he said he was coming
back tomorrow

with a couple of other men
from the Gestapo.

A Mr. X, Y and Z.

Sure glad you're going
to be in the office

instead of me.

Me? I'm not going
to the office.

You are.

But you just said...

I said, I said...

Look, Hogan, I made
an agreement with you.

Now I'm going
to hold you to it.

You drive a hard bargain, Klink.

You've got to practice
your draw, sir.

Something wrong?

You dumb ox!

When you're coming in,

why don't you say
that you're coming in?

But you told me not to tell
anybody that you're here.

Oh, am I hungry.

Uh-uh... there's not
enough dinner for two.

Well, that's okay
with me.

The same man that made
the coffee

may have made that dinner.

Ah... Hogan...
oh, my manners.

Won't you join me
for dinner?

Well, I'd rather not.

When I eat dinner,

I like to know I'll be around
for breakfast.

Oh, that's so foolish,
Hogan.

There's nothing wrong
with this dinner.

Well, okay.

Hmm, hmm, hmm.

Almost 9:00, sir.

I know. They'll be here
any minute for the meeting.

You sure you got all our
microphones out of the office?

This is the last one,
sir.

Good.

Colonel Hogan, have you
given any thought to...

To the possibility that one
of the men at the meeting

might know Klink
personally?

Yeah, I thought about it.

Could be a sticky
situation, sir.

That's the chance
we'll have to take.

I'll show you the walkie-talkie
setup, Colonel.

Lead the way.

I got it all set so we can
receive you in the tunnel.

All you have to do
is snap on that clip.

Hm-mm.

I just hope there's something
for you to receive.

Like that, huh?

Right.

Okay.

...and I will not
tolerate any excuses.

In this camp things
are done one way, my way.

I'm sorry, Herr Colonel.

It won't happen again.

And don't you
forget it.

And by the way,

don't let me hear any
more of those decadent French love songs.

Yes, Herr Kommandant.

Excuse me, gentlemen,
won't you come this way.

Now, gentlemen.

Colonel Klink, this is
Lieutenant General Baumgarten...

Major General Begalein...

and Field Marshal von Galter.

I know Colonel Klink.

You do?

When you were a baby.

I suppose I've changed
since then.

As I remember,
you were always crying.

I hardly ever cry anymore.

Uncle Rudolph and I
went to school together.

Ah, yes, good old Uncle Rudolph.

I haven't seen him
in quite a while.

He's been dead 20 years.

That is quite a while.

Tell me, your aunt,
is she still, uh...

Yes, yes, she is.

She certainly is.

And her son, the wild one?

Did he ever...?

Never, never.

So... so... so...

And the girl, she is still..

Yes, I'm afraid she is.

Too bad, too bad.

Certainly is nice discussing
old family gossip like this.

All right,
Field Marshal.

The room is clean.

HOGAN:
I should hope so.

I want you to know
I run a clean office.

I was speaking about
electronic listening devices.

Now, please, if you leave us.

Of course, of course.

If there's anything you need,
gentlemen,

I'll be
in the outer office.

Just see that we
are not disturbed.

Most certainly, sir,
most certainly.

The main element
in this operation is surprise.

Troop commanders will not
receive their orders

until the last moment.

As a deception,
all units will follow different routes.

All units
will follow different routes.

All units will follow
different routes.

Enemy intelligence will report
small-scale troop movements.

The main body will send out
small detachments to engage us.

Small detachments
to engage us.

That's right,
double the guard.

I will tolerate
no breach of security.

Jawohl.

Orders are not to engage,
but to regroup

and deliver a smashing blow
against the allies.

And where is
the regrouping point, Herr Field Marshal?

At the place where we have been
secretly stockpiling supplies

for six months.

...where we have been
secretly stockpiling supplies

for six months.

...stockpiling supplies
for six months.

Only two people, the Fuhrer
and I, know where it is.

Gentlemen, that place is...

That place is...

That place is...

The place is here.

Where... right where?

Where?

Where?

Right here.

Excuse me, gentlemen.

Excuse me.

It was here a moment ago.

Ah, yes.

If you desire to smoke.

Klink!

Yes, sir, go on
with your meeting.

Terribly sorry.

Go on with your meeting.

That place is Mendelberg.

Mendelberg.

Potted plant signing off.

Disgraceful,
absolutely disgraceful!

Letting a spy escape,

and from my camp
where no prisoner has ever escaped!

But Herr Kommandant,

you ordered maximum
security for yourself

because you were afraid
that someone might kill you.

Afraid?
I'm not afraid.

Of course not,
Herr Kommandant.

A little worried,

but-but definitely
not afraid.

Schultz, you're an idiot.

Yes, sir.

A bumbling,

incompetent,
irresponsible idiot.

Colonel Klink...

Never mind, Hogan!

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't realize I was
interrupting a family quarrel

between you
and Sergeant Schultz.

Not Sergeant Schultz,
Private Schultz

of the Russian front!

Get the search parties out.

Cancel all passes.

I want every man who is not
on duty to find that spy.

He must be captured.

You sure
you want him back?

Of course I'm sure!

Don't I want him back?

Well, until you caught
this so-called spy,

nothing ever happened
to you.

Then you catch him

and three times somebody
tries to kill you.

Hmm.

You know, Hogan,
I'm not really so sure

that that man was a spy
after all.

There was nothing in his pockets
that looked suspicious.

But you said...
Never mind what I said!

I said that you
were a private.

You're still a sergeant.

Thank you,
Herr Kommandant.

I should forget about
the search party for the prisoner.

What prisoner?

The spy.

What spy?

The commandant's willing
to forget

the whole matter, Schultz.

It's off the record.

It never happened.

That's right, Schultz.

Forget all about
the prisoner.

What prisoner?

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