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00:00:03,629 --> 00:00:06,882
ANNOUNCER:
CBS presents this programin color.
2
00:00:22,940 --> 00:00:27,444
( theme song playing )
3
00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:02,354
All right, prisoners of war,
an important announcement.
4
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:05,565
The monotony of life
in a prisoner-of-war camp
5
00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:09,236
must, from time to time,
be broken
6
00:01:09,277 --> 00:01:14,950
by a change of routine
and a change of scene.
7
00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:19,329
Therefore, in order to provide
the welcome respite
8
00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:21,164
so necessary to
the maintenance
9
00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:23,000
of physical and
mental powers,
10
00:01:23,041 --> 00:01:28,338
I have decided to take
a week's leave in Paris.
11
00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:29,965
Oh, well, that's
charming, sir. We...
12
00:01:30,007 --> 00:01:32,050
KLINK:
Silence! Colonel Hogan,
13
00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:34,594
discipline will be strictly
enforced during my absence
14
00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:35,887
by Captain Gruber.
15
00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,639
You will send us postcards, sir?
16
00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:39,850
Art shots of the Eiffel Tower,
things like that?
17
00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:43,061
I suspect that
I shall be much too busy.
18
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,688
Could I give you
a phone number, Commandant?
19
00:01:44,730 --> 00:01:46,231
Ja?
It's my mother,
20
00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:47,983
and if you tell
her that... Forget it.
21
00:01:48,024 --> 00:01:49,526
However,
22
00:01:49,526 --> 00:01:52,529
I am not a man
who samples selfishly
23
00:01:52,571 --> 00:01:54,406
the pagan delights of Paris
24
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:57,659
without providing for all of you
left back here
25
00:01:57,701 --> 00:01:59,369
in Stalag 13.
26
00:01:59,369 --> 00:02:01,705
I have a little surprise
for you.
27
00:02:01,705 --> 00:02:02,998
You're bringing back perfume.
28
00:02:03,039 --> 00:02:03,707
No.
29
00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:07,711
I'm allowing you to choose
from among the guards,
30
00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:11,339
the most cruel, the most hated,
the most sadistic,
31
00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:14,760
and I shall remove him
from your presence.
32
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:16,720
Otherwise, I could not
enjoy my leave.
33
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:17,888
May I poll my men, sir?
34
00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:20,056
Liberty Hall.
35
00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:22,642
Is he on the level?
36
00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:23,894
He wouldn't know how.
37
00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:25,353
Ballots in?
38
00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:27,063
Excellent choice.
39
00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:28,607
Horrible man.
40
00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:29,775
Monster.
41
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:31,026
It's unanimous, sir.
42
00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:34,738
The beast of Stalag 13:
Sergeant Schultz.
43
00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:37,741
Schultz?
44
00:02:37,782 --> 00:02:40,535
Colonel Hogan,
45
00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:43,455
I've always been on
the most friendly terms
46
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:44,998
with all of them.
47
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:47,083
Not too friendly,
Herr Kommandant,
48
00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:49,252
but very correct.
49
00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:52,047
More like a kind uncle.
50
00:02:52,088 --> 00:02:53,715
Not too kind,
Herr Kommandant,
51
00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:55,717
but very stern.
52
00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:57,511
Enough, Schultz.
53
00:02:57,552 --> 00:03:00,305
As a result of my promise
to the prisoners,
54
00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:03,934
I'm assigning you
to accompany me to Paris
55
00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:05,769
as my personal chauffeur.
56
00:03:05,769 --> 00:03:07,604
Herr Kommandant.
57
00:03:07,646 --> 00:03:09,648
Paris!
58
00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:11,566
You're toying
with us, sir.
59
00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:13,568
Is there no compassion
in your soul?
60
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:16,738
In the soul of the German
warrior, Colonel Hogan,
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00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:20,951
there is only duty.
62
00:03:20,992 --> 00:03:22,118
Dismissed.
63
00:03:23,495 --> 00:03:25,664
( humming cancan music )
64
00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:27,415
Oh, boy, Paris.
65
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:29,668
( humming cancan music )
66
00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:32,420
Oh, Paris, Paris.
67
00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:34,798
Hope he comes back
with a good case of measles.
68
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,728
We've got a tip
the Krauts are building
69
00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:51,773
some underground
secret fighter bases near here.
70
00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:54,150
Tiger's coming in
to help us check it out.
71
00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:56,611
She's going to take a map
back to our bombers.
72
00:03:56,653 --> 00:03:58,154
This is going to be
a tough assignment.
73
00:03:58,154 --> 00:03:59,281
LeBEAU:
Eh...
74
00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:00,699
And with Klink
going to Paris...
75
00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:02,200
It'll be twice as tough.
76
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:04,244
( mimicking Bogart ):
Therefore, Colonel Hogan,
77
00:04:04,286 --> 00:04:07,998
we can't, uh, possibly
risk you going outside.
78
00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:11,376
I hereby volunteer
to accompany Tiger.
79
00:04:11,459 --> 00:04:13,086
I'll file
your application.
80
00:04:13,128 --> 00:04:14,504
Hey, here they come.
81
00:04:21,553 --> 00:04:22,512
She's not with me.
82
00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:23,680
What happened?
Where is she?
83
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:24,764
What do you mean
she's not with you?
84
00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:26,683
Bouchet, he'll
tell you.
85
00:04:26,725 --> 00:04:28,518
Come on, give
me a hand.
86
00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:34,733
She was betrayed
to the Gestapo.
87
00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:36,151
When?
Yesterday.
88
00:04:36,192 --> 00:04:37,152
Is she alive?
89
00:04:37,193 --> 00:04:39,738
She's alive
but better off dead.
90
00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:43,074
They flew her to Paris
for intensive interrogation.
91
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,868
Your people in Paris,
can they get her out?
92
00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:46,870
From Gestapo headquarters?
93
00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:48,371
That would take an army.
94
00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:50,123
She knows everything
about the underground.
95
00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:51,708
And Stalag 13.
96
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:53,084
She will hold out,
Colonel.
97
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,919
Oh, sure, but nobody
holds out forever,
98
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:56,546
not if they live.
99
00:04:56,588 --> 00:04:59,132
What do we do,
Colonel?
100
00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:06,973
Newkirk.
Sir.
101
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:08,558
Print up
some French money.
102
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:09,434
Right, Colonel.
103
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:11,102
Bouchet,
104
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:13,396
I want you to tell me
everything you know
105
00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:14,731
about the Paris Gestapo.
106
00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:16,941
With pleasure.
107
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:18,026
LeBeau.
Oui?
108
00:05:18,067 --> 00:05:19,194
Get packed.
109
00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:20,570
You and I are
going to Paris.
110
00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:21,863
Colonel...
111
00:05:21,905 --> 00:05:23,239
how do we get there?
Easy.
112
00:05:23,239 --> 00:05:24,949
Klink will be glad
to give us a ride.
113
00:05:26,951 --> 00:05:28,119
Hurry up, Schultz.
114
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,329
I want to get
an early start.
115
00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:30,413
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
116
00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:31,498
These, too?
117
00:05:31,539 --> 00:05:33,082
Yes, of course,
Schultz.
118
00:05:33,082 --> 00:05:34,709
I told you so.
119
00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:36,920
I want many changes
of uniform in Paris.
120
00:05:36,961 --> 00:05:39,297
For a busy
social schedule.
121
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:40,548
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
122
00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:41,633
Also, it wouldn't hurt
123
00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:43,301
to put a little
something overhead,
124
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:45,845
just in case
of strafing.
125
00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:48,765
Oh, could we not put
a red cross on top?
126
00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:50,016
( groans )
127
00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:51,518
Get on with it,
Schultz, please.
128
00:05:51,559 --> 00:05:53,520
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
129
00:05:53,561 --> 00:05:55,939
( both humming cancan tune )
130
00:06:00,985 --> 00:06:02,987
( humming continues )
131
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:08,368
Hi, Schultz.
132
00:06:08,409 --> 00:06:09,702
Colonel Hogan!
133
00:06:09,744 --> 00:06:10,662
LeBeau!
134
00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:11,704
Bonjour, Schultzie.
135
00:06:11,746 --> 00:06:13,998
Colonel Hogan, what
are you doing here?
136
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,458
You're both
out of uniform.
137
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:16,459
You like them?
138
00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:17,919
I hope it doesn't rain
on the trip.
139
00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:19,462
Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-What trip?
140
00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:20,588
You are joking.
( yells )
141
00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:22,048
Careful, Schultz.
142
00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:24,342
We can't afford
to lose our driver.
143
00:06:24,425 --> 00:06:26,636
Colonel Hogan, this
I will have to report.
144
00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:29,305
You cannot use this car
for an escape attempt.
145
00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:30,306
What escape?
146
00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:31,975
We're coming back with you
after our leave.
147
00:06:32,016 --> 00:06:33,351
And there's enough room
up here
148
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:34,644
after we throw out
a few bags.
149
00:06:34,686 --> 00:06:35,728
Throw out?!
150
00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:37,146
What's he need
all this stuff for?
151
00:06:37,188 --> 00:06:38,356
The guy's dreaming.
152
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:41,150
Oh, please, Colonel
Hogan, this I will have to report.
153
00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:42,151
I wouldn't if I were you.
154
00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:43,987
Not when it comes out
you got us these suits.
155
00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:46,030
I didn't get you any suits.
156
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:48,825
I know nothing about suits!
157
00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:51,202
Where else could we get them
but from a crooked guard?
158
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:52,829
How do I know?
159
00:06:52,870 --> 00:06:55,123
You're the crookedest
guard around, Schultz, let's face it.
160
00:06:55,164 --> 00:06:56,457
Colonel Hogan, please.
161
00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:58,334
It would be worth my life.
162
00:06:58,376 --> 00:06:59,669
Either way, you're in a spot.
163
00:06:59,711 --> 00:07:01,212
Now have you got a tarp
to cover us?
164
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:02,463
Yes, but... but...
165
00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:03,506
And don't drive over 40.
166
00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:05,341
Best not to hurry
and get there safely.
167
00:07:05,341 --> 00:07:06,134
B-B-B-But...
168
00:07:06,175 --> 00:07:07,176
We'll have lunch
when Klink stops,
169
00:07:07,176 --> 00:07:08,177
a little chicken
and some wine.
170
00:07:08,177 --> 00:07:09,012
Yes, b-b-b-but...
171
00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:10,847
A Pouilly-Fuissé '41,
I think.
172
00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:13,016
It's not a daring wine,
but a safe wine.
173
00:07:13,016 --> 00:07:14,100
KLINK:
Schultz!
174
00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:15,852
( stammering yell )
175
00:07:15,893 --> 00:07:17,228
Come on, Schultz.
176
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:18,271
I'm ready to go.
177
00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:19,439
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
178
00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:24,027
The door, please.
179
00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:24,986
Oh, ja, ja...
180
00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:27,822
Off to Paris, Schultz.
181
00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:30,992
To the wine, women, song.
182
00:07:34,370 --> 00:07:35,872
Oh, boy.
183
00:07:56,517 --> 00:07:57,560
( door closes )
184
00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:04,650
The bachelors officers'
quarters, Herr Kommandant.
185
00:08:04,692 --> 00:08:07,403
Ah, Schultz, there is
music in the air.
186
00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:08,863
Oh, you may
take down the luggage
187
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:10,782
while I, uh, check in.
188
00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:12,700
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
189
00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:15,203
( Klink hummingcancan music )
190
00:08:15,244 --> 00:08:16,621
Hi, Schultzy.
191
00:08:16,662 --> 00:08:17,747
Very good
driving, Schultz.
192
00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:19,040
Our accommodations?
193
00:08:19,082 --> 00:08:21,793
No accommodations, Colonel
Hogan, please, just disappear.
194
00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:24,045
I don't think we should
leave you alone, Schultz.
195
00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:25,463
You ever been
to Paris? No, why?
196
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:26,798
Thieves for
the black market.
197
00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:28,382
Yeah, they could steal
your staff car.
198
00:08:28,424 --> 00:08:30,259
No, I will not leave
it out of my sight.
199
00:08:30,259 --> 00:08:31,427
What are you
doing in there?
200
00:08:31,427 --> 00:08:32,637
You left the keys!
201
00:08:32,678 --> 00:08:33,888
Very bad practice.
202
00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:35,473
But I'm standing right here.
203
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,183
That's right, you stand
right here, Schultz.
204
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:38,851
And if something
should happen to the car,
205
00:08:38,893 --> 00:08:40,853
tell Klink
the Gestapo commandeered it.
206
00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:42,188
The Gestapo commandeered it.
207
00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:43,856
Please, Colonel Hogan,
I'm only a guard,
208
00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:45,608
if you want to escape,
please escape.
209
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:47,401
But I have nothing
to do with it.
210
00:08:47,443 --> 00:08:49,445
Just escape!
211
00:08:49,487 --> 00:08:50,947
Can I help you
with the bags?
212
00:08:50,988 --> 00:08:52,740
No, thank you.
I can do it myself.
213
00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:53,825
Please!
( engine turns )
214
00:08:57,119 --> 00:08:59,080
Colonel Hogan!
215
00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:02,166
Bringing the bags, Schultz?
216
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:05,127
B-b-bags?
217
00:09:05,127 --> 00:09:06,671
B-beg to report,
Herr Kommandant.
218
00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:08,089
Report what?
219
00:09:08,130 --> 00:09:10,091
Why are you saluting
all the time?
220
00:09:10,132 --> 00:09:11,676
What is wrong
with you, Schultz?
221
00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:13,469
The staff car.
222
00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:15,304
What about the staff car?
223
00:09:15,304 --> 00:09:18,307
Where's the staff car?
224
00:09:18,307 --> 00:09:19,684
Herr Kommandant,
would you believe
225
00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:23,479
the Gestapo
commandeered it?
226
00:09:23,479 --> 00:09:24,981
Oh, no.
227
00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:26,232
With all my luggage?
228
00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:27,483
Nonsense.
229
00:09:27,483 --> 00:09:29,527
Now the Gestapo
would never...
230
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:32,947
The Gestapo?
231
00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:36,450
They must have had
a very good reason.
232
00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:40,329
( knocking )
233
00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:44,458
( knocking )
234
00:09:50,214 --> 00:09:53,509
You will consider yourself
under arrest.
235
00:09:53,509 --> 00:09:54,719
Champagne?
236
00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:56,762
I will question you here.
237
00:09:56,804 --> 00:09:58,639
If your answers
are not satisfactory,
238
00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:01,017
you will be taken
to where the atmosphere
239
00:10:01,058 --> 00:10:03,519
is more conducive
to getting at the truth.
240
00:10:03,519 --> 00:10:04,979
That sounds fair.
241
00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:08,190
I am not concerned
with being fair.
242
00:10:08,232 --> 00:10:09,191
Mueller.
243
00:10:09,191 --> 00:10:10,359
Sontag.
244
00:10:12,361 --> 00:10:14,322
Are you sure you won't have
some champagne?
245
00:10:14,363 --> 00:10:16,699
The new science
of the Third Reich
246
00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:21,996
has demonstrated that champagne
shrivels the Achilles' tendon.
247
00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:23,331
Really?
248
00:10:23,372 --> 00:10:26,375
A French foot soldier
was only able to march
249
00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:30,129
seven-tenths of a mile
before collapsing.
250
00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:31,213
Poor devils.
251
00:10:31,255 --> 00:10:34,884
I think it is affecting
your brain.
252
00:10:34,925 --> 00:10:37,345
You are obviously an American,
253
00:10:37,386 --> 00:10:40,389
and yet you openly rent
a large suite
254
00:10:40,389 --> 00:10:42,725
in the best hotel in Paris
255
00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:45,019
in the middle of a war,
256
00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:49,231
almost inviting a call
from the Gestapo.
257
00:10:49,273 --> 00:10:52,818
You were very prompt.
My congratulations.
258
00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:55,446
You wanted a call
from the Gestapo?
259
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,239
Colonel Backscheider...
260
00:10:57,281 --> 00:10:59,492
And you are
Colonel Backsheider?
261
00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:02,036
I felt it's time we met.
262
00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:05,122
Ah, so. Why?
263
00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:07,083
My name is Durkin, Colonel.
264
00:11:07,124 --> 00:11:08,375
Frank Durkin.
265
00:11:08,417 --> 00:11:09,919
American Air Force.
A sergeant.
266
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:12,254
I didn't care much
for the pay,
267
00:11:12,254 --> 00:11:14,965
so when I escaped
from Stalag 13 last year,
268
00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:17,426
I came to Paris,
worked my way up.
269
00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:19,261
Black market?
270
00:11:19,261 --> 00:11:23,140
If you are in the black market,
we would have a record of you.
271
00:11:23,182 --> 00:11:25,184
I kept undercover, and as much
272
00:11:25,226 --> 00:11:27,436
as I didn't have great
confidence in your predecessor
273
00:11:27,436 --> 00:11:30,064
who was recently shot,
I believe.
274
00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:31,190
For stealing.
275
00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:32,441
From the wrong people.
276
00:11:32,441 --> 00:11:33,442
Herr Colonel.
277
00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:37,321
I found this, Herr Colonel.
278
00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:39,156
Hmm.
279
00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:41,450
That's quite
a sum of money.
280
00:11:41,492 --> 00:11:42,535
I know where they print it.
281
00:11:48,332 --> 00:11:49,834
It is genuine.
282
00:11:51,168 --> 00:11:52,628
If you have lied to me,
283
00:11:52,628 --> 00:11:55,965
I have every legal right
to shoot you, now.
284
00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:57,299
If you have told me the truth,
285
00:11:57,341 --> 00:12:01,095
I have every legal right
to shoot you now.
286
00:12:01,136 --> 00:12:02,763
But you won't.
287
00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:03,973
At least not now.
288
00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:05,307
Why not?
289
00:12:07,768 --> 00:12:09,103
Mueller.
290
00:12:09,144 --> 00:12:10,354
Sontag.
291
00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:14,066
HOGAN:
Sit down.
292
00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:19,989
Colonel Backscheider...
293
00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:23,200
you have a great deal of
influence and authority
294
00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:25,327
here in Paris.
295
00:12:25,369 --> 00:12:28,664
I have a great many
contacts.
296
00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:33,252
Between us we could
make this pile grow...
297
00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:38,841
and grow and grow.
298
00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:41,760
I have a feeling
that sooner or later
299
00:12:41,802 --> 00:12:44,805
I shall have to shoot you.
300
00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:46,974
But in the meantime...
301
00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:48,809
talk.
302
00:12:53,147 --> 00:12:59,737
You see,
the black market exists.
303
00:12:59,778 --> 00:13:03,741
And everything that exists
can be put to use...
304
00:13:03,782 --> 00:13:05,743
even you.
305
00:13:05,993 --> 00:13:07,161
Thank you.
306
00:13:07,202 --> 00:13:08,078
Do we have a deal?
307
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:09,997
No.
308
00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:14,710
First, I shall check
and recheck your background.
309
00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:16,211
You mean you don't
trust me?
310
00:13:16,253 --> 00:13:18,088
I trust no one.
311
00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:19,965
Especially you.
312
00:13:20,007 --> 00:13:21,717
Mueller,
313
00:13:21,717 --> 00:13:23,302
Sontag!
314
00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:25,554
Jawohl, Colonel?
315
00:13:25,554 --> 00:13:30,642
Your story will be easy
to verify... or destroy.
316
00:13:30,684 --> 00:13:36,440
The Kommandant of Stalag 13
is in Paris... on leave.
317
00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:39,276
You certainly do keep tabs
on everybody.
318
00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:40,402
Naturally.
319
00:13:40,402 --> 00:13:43,572
He called at my office
blathering something
320
00:13:43,572 --> 00:13:46,575
about us having
his staff car?
321
00:13:46,575 --> 00:13:48,744
Shall I call him,
Herr Colonel?
322
00:13:48,744 --> 00:13:50,579
Yes.
323
00:13:52,247 --> 00:13:53,874
And Sontag,
324
00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:57,378
there is another phone.
325
00:13:57,419 --> 00:13:59,421
You know what to do.
326
00:13:59,463 --> 00:14:01,131
Oh, Herr Kommandant,
327
00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:03,425
Colonel Backscheider
from the Gestapo.
328
00:14:03,467 --> 00:14:04,718
Ah, about my car.
329
00:14:07,262 --> 00:14:09,765
Colonel Backscheider,
how very nice of you to call.
330
00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:11,433
Now, I don't want to press you
331
00:14:11,433 --> 00:14:13,310
about my car,
Colonel Backscheider,
332
00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:15,938
because as long as you need it,
you certainly...
333
00:14:15,979 --> 00:14:18,357
You don't have my car?
334
00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:22,444
You're not even calling
about my car?
335
00:14:22,444 --> 00:14:24,780
Stolen?!
336
00:14:24,780 --> 00:14:28,450
Colonel Backscheider,
I am listening, but, but...
337
00:14:28,492 --> 00:14:33,497
A Sergeant Frank Durkin?
338
00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:35,916
Colonel Backscheider,
I am very proud to announce
339
00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:38,544
that we have never had
an escape from Stalag 13.
340
00:14:38,585 --> 00:14:43,132
There has never
been an escape from Stalag 13.
341
00:14:43,173 --> 00:14:44,800
Remarkable record.
342
00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:47,719
Now, Colonel Klink...
343
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,930
Colonel.
344
00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:52,141
...one of my men
has been talking
345
00:14:52,182 --> 00:14:54,768
directly to your office
at Stalag 13.
346
00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:59,773
Shall I read you a quote
from your files?
347
00:14:59,815 --> 00:15:03,485
"Sergeant Frank Durkin,
American Air Force, escaped
348
00:15:03,527 --> 00:15:07,948
December 15, 1942
and still at large."
349
00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:10,659
You should become acquainted
350
00:15:10,659 --> 00:15:13,829
with your own records,
Herr Klink.
351
00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:16,498
How would I know
where to look for your car?!
352
00:15:16,540 --> 00:15:18,292
You should not have lost it!
353
00:15:18,333 --> 00:15:19,918
Dummkopf!
354
00:15:22,212 --> 00:15:23,338
Halt!
355
00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:29,219
Who is it?
356
00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:30,804
It's all right.
It's one of my men.
357
00:15:30,846 --> 00:15:31,847
I'm expecting him.
358
00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:32,848
Right on time.
359
00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:34,725
I could come back.
360
00:15:34,766 --> 00:15:36,560
BACKSCHEIDER:
Bring him here.
361
00:15:39,897 --> 00:15:42,190
Marcel Chalet, Colonel.
362
00:15:42,190 --> 00:15:44,818
He phoned to say
he had picked up something for me
363
00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:46,320
on the free market.
364
00:15:46,528 --> 00:15:47,529
What is it?
365
00:15:47,571 --> 00:15:50,574
It's just a trifle
embarrassing.
366
00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:51,867
A car?
367
00:15:51,909 --> 00:15:53,076
A German staff car.
368
00:15:55,329 --> 00:15:58,123
Klink's staff car.
369
00:15:58,165 --> 00:16:00,918
You have quite
an organization, Durkin.
370
00:16:00,959 --> 00:16:02,878
Thank you, but I
really don't need this.
371
00:16:02,878 --> 00:16:03,920
Why don't you take it?
372
00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:05,380
Give it to a friend.
373
00:16:05,422 --> 00:16:06,423
Maybe you can
just keep it
374
00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:08,508
for going to
the supermarket.
375
00:16:08,550 --> 00:16:10,886
Well...
376
00:16:10,927 --> 00:16:15,057
I-I-I may have a...
a friend.
377
00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:17,726
She'll love it.
378
00:16:17,726 --> 00:16:19,519
Durkin.
379
00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:23,231
Tell me.
380
00:16:23,273 --> 00:16:27,235
You were born in...
381
00:16:27,235 --> 00:16:28,612
December.
382
00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:30,364
Am I right?
383
00:16:30,405 --> 00:16:32,115
Right. How did you know?
384
00:16:32,157 --> 00:16:34,242
Well, you have
certain traits.
385
00:16:34,284 --> 00:16:35,827
I have made
a modest science
386
00:16:35,869 --> 00:16:38,080
in the study
of these things.
387
00:16:38,121 --> 00:16:40,457
If I may say so--
and no offense--
388
00:16:40,499 --> 00:16:43,085
to find a man of science
in your post
389
00:16:43,126 --> 00:16:45,087
is, well,
rather surprising.
390
00:16:45,128 --> 00:16:46,672
You may say so.
391
00:16:46,713 --> 00:16:50,592
And sometime, Durkin,
if we become better acquainted,
392
00:16:50,634 --> 00:16:56,223
I may even program
the bumps on your head.
393
00:16:56,264 --> 00:16:59,768
Certainly be looking
forward to that, sir.
394
00:16:59,768 --> 00:17:02,020
Mueller, Sontag.
395
00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:06,525
Oh, uh,
by the way, Colonel.
396
00:17:06,566 --> 00:17:07,526
Yes?
397
00:17:07,567 --> 00:17:10,112
There's a girl
that does jobs for me
398
00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:12,155
from time to time-- Tiger.
399
00:17:12,197 --> 00:17:13,281
Yes, what about her? What?!
400
00:17:13,490 --> 00:17:14,491
Oh, nothing.
401
00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:16,201
I just heard that
you had her in for questioning.
402
00:17:16,243 --> 00:17:17,285
You what?
403
00:17:17,285 --> 00:17:18,870
Well, I thought she might
talk to me more readily
404
00:17:18,912 --> 00:17:19,871
than she would to you.
405
00:17:19,913 --> 00:17:22,874
She will talk
to me readily.
406
00:17:22,916 --> 00:17:26,253
However, you may speak
with her if you wish.
407
00:17:26,294 --> 00:17:28,088
Alone might be better.
408
00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:32,175
Alone... because
I trust you...
409
00:17:32,217 --> 00:17:34,219
completely.
410
00:17:34,261 --> 00:17:36,680
I can hear nothing.
411
00:17:43,186 --> 00:17:44,312
Okay, we can talk.
412
00:17:44,312 --> 00:17:47,149
There is nothing
to talk about.
413
00:17:47,190 --> 00:17:48,483
Shoot me, strangle me.
414
00:17:48,483 --> 00:17:51,319
Sooner or later
they make me tell them everything.
415
00:17:51,778 --> 00:17:53,029
Nothing.
416
00:17:53,071 --> 00:17:56,491
Well, we-we tested
it only yesterday, Herr Colonel.
417
00:18:00,745 --> 00:18:02,497
Bungler.
418
00:18:03,623 --> 00:18:06,126
Tiger, we're going
to get you out of here.
419
00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:07,544
No one ever gets
out of here.
420
00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:09,379
You have a plan?
421
00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:10,672
No.
422
00:18:12,632 --> 00:18:13,842
Give me a gun.
423
00:18:13,884 --> 00:18:15,343
Let me shoot myself.
424
00:18:15,343 --> 00:18:16,303
No gun.
425
00:18:16,344 --> 00:18:18,555
Now, look,
tell me everything
426
00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:19,973
you know about
Backscheider.
427
00:18:20,015 --> 00:18:20,974
He's the key.
428
00:18:21,016 --> 00:18:23,101
They're Nazi.
429
00:18:23,143 --> 00:18:25,478
A genius
at the art of death,
430
00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:26,813
an idiot at living.
431
00:18:26,855 --> 00:18:28,023
What about
the astrology bit?
432
00:18:28,064 --> 00:18:28,690
The metaphysical stuff?
433
00:18:28,690 --> 00:18:29,858
Is he a bug on it?
434
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:32,819
They all are
because the Fuhrer is.
435
00:18:32,861 --> 00:18:35,447
Anyone he goes to,
someone we can use to get to him?
436
00:18:36,698 --> 00:18:37,908
I don't know.
437
00:18:37,949 --> 00:18:39,701
He's new in Paris.
438
00:18:39,701 --> 00:18:41,912
( door opens )
439
00:18:41,953 --> 00:18:43,872
Perhaps. I-I can't think.
440
00:18:43,872 --> 00:18:45,040
Take your time.
441
00:18:46,708 --> 00:18:48,418
There was a woman.
442
00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:53,048
I believe there was a woman...
443
00:18:53,089 --> 00:18:55,592
in a White Russian cafe.
444
00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:56,676
East Bank.
445
00:18:56,718 --> 00:18:58,053
( door shuts )
446
00:18:58,094 --> 00:18:59,346
All right,
I'll take it from there.
447
00:18:59,387 --> 00:19:00,555
Here they come.
448
00:19:10,649 --> 00:19:12,692
Well?
449
00:19:12,734 --> 00:19:14,361
We're making progress.
450
00:19:14,402 --> 00:19:17,030
Progress, eh?
451
00:19:17,072 --> 00:19:19,866
Progress.
452
00:19:19,908 --> 00:19:22,118
We know why
you were in Germany.
453
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:25,121
You will tell us
all the others involved.
454
00:19:25,163 --> 00:19:28,625
You will tell us
the names of all your friends in Paris.
455
00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:30,335
She'll talk to me...
456
00:19:30,377 --> 00:19:32,253
as soon as
she's recovered
457
00:19:32,253 --> 00:19:34,506
from your questioning
in a couple days.
458
00:19:34,547 --> 00:19:38,426
I will give her
until tomorrow.
459
00:19:38,426 --> 00:19:42,013
You know, I like you.
460
00:19:42,055 --> 00:19:43,598
What month
were you born in?
461
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:48,978
A very strong line
of romance.
462
00:19:49,020 --> 00:19:50,939
Very strong.
463
00:19:50,939 --> 00:19:51,940
A-ha.
464
00:19:51,940 --> 00:19:54,317
You have been bad,
very bad.
465
00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:56,528
Marry me,
and I shall reform, I swear.
466
00:19:56,569 --> 00:19:58,780
Look, get married on your time,
not mine.
467
00:19:58,822 --> 00:20:00,115
Are we going to talk business
or not?
468
00:20:00,156 --> 00:20:02,283
Unfortunate choice of friends.
469
00:20:02,283 --> 00:20:03,785
Yes or no?
470
00:20:03,785 --> 00:20:06,454
My chart said
to be very careful
471
00:20:06,496 --> 00:20:08,081
of business transactions today.
472
00:20:08,123 --> 00:20:10,875
Buy a little silverware,
plant some petunias.
473
00:20:10,917 --> 00:20:12,168
Meet someone short.
474
00:20:12,210 --> 00:20:14,170
All right, all right.
475
00:20:14,212 --> 00:20:15,463
Do a little business.
476
00:20:15,505 --> 00:20:16,548
Look, let's not
dance around.
477
00:20:16,589 --> 00:20:17,715
We don't have time.
478
00:20:17,757 --> 00:20:20,260
We know you've got something
going with Backscheider.
479
00:20:20,301 --> 00:20:21,761
I don't care what.
480
00:20:21,803 --> 00:20:23,638
But he's holding a woman
who works for me,
481
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:24,681
and I want her sprung.
482
00:20:25,932 --> 00:20:26,683
Tiger?
483
00:20:28,309 --> 00:20:30,311
How'd you know?
484
00:20:30,311 --> 00:20:34,190
From the amount of money,
she's a very big fish.
485
00:20:34,232 --> 00:20:36,734
My colonel has told me
why she's in Germany...
486
00:20:36,776 --> 00:20:39,112
to find the new German
fighter bases.
487
00:20:39,154 --> 00:20:40,071
I don't care about that.
488
00:20:40,113 --> 00:20:41,823
I'm in the black market
and I need her.
489
00:20:41,865 --> 00:20:44,451
Not very convincing.
490
00:20:44,492 --> 00:20:46,202
May I read your truth line?
491
00:20:46,244 --> 00:20:47,829
I tell you
I'm an American deserter.
492
00:20:47,871 --> 00:20:50,415
I hope you lie better to men.
493
00:20:50,457 --> 00:20:54,627
Look, you want something,
I shall name a price.
494
00:20:54,669 --> 00:20:56,546
Name it.
495
00:20:56,588 --> 00:20:58,840
When you find it
where the fighter bases are,
496
00:20:58,882 --> 00:21:00,675
you'll also give me
the information.
497
00:21:00,717 --> 00:21:03,344
Aren't you afraid I'm going
to denounce you to Backscheider?
498
00:21:03,386 --> 00:21:05,638
He would not believe you.
499
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:09,434
He knows my character
from the bumps on my head.
500
00:21:09,475 --> 00:21:11,561
I don't get it.
501
00:21:11,603 --> 00:21:12,687
Why do you want
the information
502
00:21:12,687 --> 00:21:15,690
when we may be more or less
on the same side?
503
00:21:15,690 --> 00:21:17,358
More on the same side
504
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:19,360
so we can work together
at times.
505
00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:20,445
Just enough less
506
00:21:20,486 --> 00:21:21,946
so that I would like
the information.
507
00:21:21,988 --> 00:21:23,198
I trust her.
508
00:21:23,198 --> 00:21:25,283
I shall marry you sometime.
509
00:21:26,826 --> 00:21:28,453
All right, it's crazy,
but it's a deal.
510
00:21:28,494 --> 00:21:30,038
When will you see Backscheider?
511
00:21:30,038 --> 00:21:32,749
In about a minute.
512
00:21:32,790 --> 00:21:34,209
He's always very prompt.
513
00:21:34,209 --> 00:21:36,294
I mean, it doesn't make up
for everything else,
514
00:21:36,336 --> 00:21:37,420
but it is something.
515
00:21:37,462 --> 00:21:39,130
All right, we'll duck out
and come back later.
516
00:21:39,297 --> 00:21:40,423
I adore you.
517
00:21:40,465 --> 00:21:42,884
I cannot resist short men. Mm.
518
00:21:42,926 --> 00:21:44,552
KLINK:
What a holiday!
519
00:21:44,594 --> 00:21:46,721
A week to spend
in romantic Paris,
520
00:21:46,721 --> 00:21:48,848
and I have to go out with you.
521
00:21:50,975 --> 00:21:54,145
If the Kommandant had
a change of uniform...
522
00:21:54,187 --> 00:21:56,189
Don't remind me
of my staff car.
523
00:21:56,231 --> 00:21:57,774
What happened
to my staff car?
524
00:22:00,234 --> 00:22:02,070
Oh! A thousand pardons.
I've always been...
525
00:22:02,070 --> 00:22:03,821
Forget it.
526
00:22:03,863 --> 00:22:06,282
Hogan, LeBeau!
527
00:22:06,324 --> 00:22:07,909
Schultz, you must stop them
at once!
528
00:22:07,909 --> 00:22:09,744
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant!
529
00:22:09,744 --> 00:22:12,789
Schultz? Schultz?
530
00:22:12,830 --> 00:22:14,415
Schultz!
531
00:22:14,457 --> 00:22:15,541
Backscheider?
532
00:22:15,583 --> 00:22:18,211
What is all the shouting
about, Klink?
533
00:22:18,252 --> 00:22:19,212
Colonel Backscheider,
534
00:22:19,253 --> 00:22:21,255
I just saw two
of my prisoners from Stalag 13.
535
00:22:21,297 --> 00:22:25,677
I thought no one ever escaped
from Stalag 13.
536
00:22:25,718 --> 00:22:27,971
Of course not,
of course not, Colonel Backscheider.
537
00:22:28,012 --> 00:22:31,683
Never.
Schultz, Schultz, did I see them?
538
00:22:31,724 --> 00:22:32,767
Did I see them?
539
00:22:32,767 --> 00:22:34,936
No, no, no, no.
He saw nothing,
540
00:22:34,936 --> 00:22:38,731
and I-I saw nothing!
541
00:22:39,816 --> 00:22:43,528
Oh, boy.
542
00:22:43,569 --> 00:22:45,279
Everything is taken care
of, right?
543
00:22:45,279 --> 00:22:46,406
Oh, sure.
544
00:22:46,447 --> 00:22:47,949
If we can trust
your friend
545
00:22:47,990 --> 00:22:50,243
and she can figure
how to spring Tiger
546
00:22:50,284 --> 00:22:52,704
and Backscheider
doesn't catch on to us,
547
00:22:52,745 --> 00:22:55,123
and if we can find
the secret fighter bases,
548
00:22:55,164 --> 00:22:56,457
and Klink doesn't catch up
with us,
549
00:22:56,499 --> 00:22:58,835
everything's taken care of.
550
00:22:58,876 --> 00:23:01,879
Did you notice her eyes?
551
00:23:01,921 --> 00:23:04,048
I should have
brought Carter.
552
00:23:09,971 --> 00:23:11,639
KINCHLOE:
Newkirk, Klink's on the phone from Paris.
553
00:23:11,681 --> 00:23:12,640
I got him on here.
554
00:23:12,682 --> 00:23:13,474
Bypassed his office.
555
00:23:15,226 --> 00:23:17,019
( German accent ):
Captain Huber here.
556
00:23:17,061 --> 00:23:20,565
Jawohl, Kommandant Klink.
557
00:23:20,606 --> 00:23:22,150
How are you enjoying your stay
in Paris?
558
00:23:22,150 --> 00:23:25,486
You thought
you saw Colonel Hogan?
559
00:23:25,528 --> 00:23:27,280
Impossible, Herr Kommandant.
560
00:23:27,321 --> 00:23:29,615
He is right here
in the outside office.
561
00:23:29,657 --> 00:23:31,743
You want
to talk with him?
562
00:23:31,784 --> 00:23:32,994
Yes, Herr Kommandant,
563
00:23:33,035 --> 00:23:34,996
I'll have him brought
to the phone.
564
00:23:35,037 --> 00:23:38,082
Get Colonel Hogan
in Paris fast.
565
00:23:38,124 --> 00:23:39,333
Suppose he's not in?
566
00:23:39,333 --> 00:23:41,002
He ruddy well
better be in.
567
00:23:43,004 --> 00:23:44,130
Okay, I get
the picture, Kinch.
568
00:23:44,172 --> 00:23:45,006
Connect us.
569
00:23:45,047 --> 00:23:48,551
Hello, Colonel Hogan?
Are you there?
570
00:23:48,593 --> 00:23:50,052
You are?
571
00:23:50,511 --> 00:23:52,722
Of course,
where else would you be?
572
00:23:52,763 --> 00:23:54,307
He's there.
573
00:23:54,348 --> 00:23:56,684
That's very nice,
Herr Kommandant.
574
00:23:56,684 --> 00:23:58,436
Well, I just want
to keep tabs
575
00:23:58,478 --> 00:24:00,021
on all my prisoners.
576
00:24:00,062 --> 00:24:03,274
Your efficiency is really
frightening, Commandant.
577
00:24:03,316 --> 00:24:05,401
Having a good time in Paris?
578
00:24:05,443 --> 00:24:07,361
Staff car running well?
579
00:24:07,361 --> 00:24:09,447
Yeah, it's fine.
580
00:24:09,489 --> 00:24:10,865
Just fine.
581
00:24:13,034 --> 00:24:16,078
He knew.
582
00:24:16,120 --> 00:24:18,706
Somehow he knew.
583
00:24:18,756 --> 00:24:23,306
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