All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes s02e06 The Rise and Fall of Sergeant Schultz.eng

ANNOUNCER:
CBS presents this program in color.

( theme song playing )

You look authentic enough
to get a punch in the mouth.

Oh, charming.
Thanks a lot.

How about Carter?

( German accent ):
Heil Hitler. Heil Hitler.

Another doll.

Heil Hilter.
Heil Hitler.

May I ask
what you're doing?

Uh, just warming up
my Nazi arm.

This is
an important mission.

This guy Becker's been
in the underground a long time.

He's got enough
information to get us all shot.

Right. London wants
us to spring him

before the Gestapo
can work him over.

Yeah, if they get
on to us, we'll be worked over.

Not scared,
are you?

Plenty.
Yeah, I'm a natural coward.

I was born that way.

All right, all clear
outside the wire.

Down periscope.

Question, sir.

What happens if the Gestapo
won't turn over Becker to us?

Back off.
No shooting.

We don't want
the Germans to know

we're trying
to get Becker out.

Then they will
tighten security.

HOGAN:
Right.

Kinch, what
about the car?

I borrowed it from
the motor pool.

It's parked on the
Hammelburg Road.

Okay. Let's go.

Now, remember, don't drive it
any more than necessary.

Yes, sir.
Well, we hadn't planned on taking a trip, sir,

but why not?
Because we're paying the Kraut sergeant

in the motor pool
ten cents a mile.

CARTER:
Authorization to remove the

You may stand at ease,
Speketoff.

Jawohl, Captain.
Danke.

Well... this seems
to be in order.

Of course it is.

He's supposed to be brought
to our car at once.

No, no, no, no.

I'm afraid that is impossible.

I have instructions to release
the prisoner Becker

only on the written
personal orders

of Reich's Fuhrer Muller.

Are you aware of whose signature
is on these orders?

Well, I read it.

It's signed by Colonel
Hoganmeyer, Section Three.

Well?

Well, I can do nothing for you.

Becker is a very special case.

As a matter of fact,
we are going to transfer him

to the hotel in town
for better security.

We cannot return
to Berlin without him.

Well, perhaps I could help you

if I called and explained
the situation to your colonel.

Now, what's the number?

You're going to call
Colonel Hoganmeyer?

He's going to call
Colonel Hoganmeyer.

( laughs )

( laughs )

( laughing )

What's the matter?

The last man who called
Colonel Hoganmeyer after hours

is now a straw man
somewhere in Russia.

( both laugh )

( laughing )

Oh.

Well, let's avoid that.

Yes, it is better
if we return to Berlin

and, uh, let our colonel call
your Reich Fuhrer Muller.

Good idea.

I always say, "When in doubt,

let the big boys fight it out
amongst themselves."

I always say that.

( normal voice ):
I really do.

( German accent ):
Heil Hilter.

Heil Hitler.

Heil Hitler.

Uh, by the way, uh...

Exactly who is this...
Colonel Hoganmeyer?

Who is C...?

He wants to know
who is Colonel Hoganmeyer.

( laughing )

This must be
a new man.

BOTH:
Heil Hitler!

Imagine Hoganmeyer's
face when...

Heil Hitler.

Heil Hitler!

Come along.

Just got this in
from London, Colonel.

Thanks, Kinch.

"Don't understand failure
of Becker rescue.

"Orders are try again.

Will not accept
second failure."

Yeah. How do you like that?

How about those guys?

We risk the firing squad,
and they get nasty.

What do they think
this is, a Boy Scout jamboree?

I mean, don't
they realize

we're in a
P.O.W. camp? That's right.

Here I am, sewing
my fingers to the bone.

Yeah, well, don't sew 'em
on my shirt.

It' not very fair
of them in London.

I mean, it's just
not very fair.

Fair, schmair.

We have to get
Becker out of there.

What happens if we fail again?

What can they do,
draft us?

Guten Tag, gentlemen.

Heil Hitler!
Heil Hitler!

What's the matter
with him?

Sorry.

Once I learn something,
I learn it.

What's on your
mind, Schultz,

besides apple
strudel?

I have orders
from Commandant Klink--

our beloved commandant,

if you will excuse
the expression.

All right, what's
on his mind?

There's a new general

in command
of the military district.

Tomorrow, he will be here
for inspection.

I can hardly wait.

The orders for the prisoners
are to clean up the barracks...

HEROES/SCHULTZ:
"Clean up the compounds, and clean up yourselves!"

All right, look, Schultz,
we're not here

to stand inspections
of every Kraut general

in the army, you know.
( Heroes agreeing )

Wait a minute,
wait a minute!

What do you think
how I feel about it?

Do you think
it is fun for me?

I have to be on my feet
all day long,

and I carry
much more than you do.

This is not exactly
whipped cream.

That's how
it started.

Oh, jolly joke.

Now, you have
your orders!

No wonder
we cannot win a war.

All we do
is inspect each other.

Don't forget,
Schultz...

HEROES:
"Clean up the barracks,

clean up the compound,
clean up yourselves!"

SCHULTZ:
Achtung!

Colonel Franz,
welcome to Stalag 13.

General Kammler,
this is the camp commandant,

Colonel Wilhelm Klink.

General Kammler, it is
an honor and a privilege

to have you here
at Stalag 13.

We welcome the opportunity
to offer you

our simple
but sincere hospitality.

Put your cap on straight.

I'll put my cap on straight.
Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

In my command,
only active combat officers

may wear their caps
at an angle.

Yes, sir, I agree
with you completely.

Only active combat officers.

Perhaps you would like
a little refreshment?

If you'll kindly step
this way, please.

( chuckles )

General, what is it?

Are my eyes deceiving me?

Oh, no, it couldn't be.

That drill sergeant
standing over there.

KLINK:
You mean Schultz?

It is!

Hans!

Can it be?

Ach du liebe!

Lieutenant Kammler!

Oh, my old comrade.

Oh!

Oh, how good
to see you.

Oh, Lieutenant...!

Oh, you are a general.

Oh, yes, yes,
and you are a sergeant.

Well, Germany makes
lots of mistakes.

No mistake.

You were always
a very bright boy.

We fought together
in the first war

in the Ardennes
and at Liège.

I was just
a young lieutenant.

I didn't know
anything at all.

Schultz saved my life.

It was a pleasure,
Herr General.

Charming.

Yes, charming.

Nice to see two old monsters
get together.

And here we are, Hans--

two German soldiers
fighting another war.

Keeps us out of trouble.

Oh, you look well...

but you've taken on
a little weight.

( chuckles )

You know how it is.

I got older, but the
Wiener schnitzel gets younger.

What are you doing
in this rat hole?

Are you happy?

Shall I arrange
a little transfer perhaps?

Danke, Herr General, but it's
not such a bad rat hole.

KAMMLER:
Better than the Eastern front, huh?

Klink!

Yes, sir?

As you can see,
I have

a very great personal interest
in Sergeant Schultz.

Oh, he's one
of our very good men, sir.

From now on,
he is your best man.

He's my best man.
Yes, sir.

KAMMLER:
I want regular reports of his progress

sent to me in Berlin.

He's to have every
consideration

within the limits
of military discipline.

Understood?
Understood, sir.

Good.

Oh, Hans.

( laughs )

Now, that's a surprise.

( groans )

Imagine a man
like Kammler

showing such affection
for that big tub of lard.

Kammler is one of
the most powerful generals we have--

a personal favorite
of the Fuhrer himself.

Oh, I had no idea, sir.

Take my advice
and do as he says,

or that big tub of lard

is going to be in command
of this camp,

and you're going to be known
as Sergeant Klink.

( chuckling )

Colonel Hogan,
may I ask what's so funny?

It has a good sound to it:
Sergeant Klink.

( chuckling )

I'm sorry, sir.
Bad taste.

Herr Kommandant,

Sergeant Schultz
reporting as ordered.

Herr Kommandant,

I'm terribly sorry
that the prisoners

didn't make a
better showing

for General Kammler.

I told them
to clean up,

but they wouldn't
listen to me.

Of course, it is
my responsibility, and...

At ease, at ease,
at ease. Relax.

Yes.

You're not angry?

No, of course not.

We all have
our bad days.

Tell me, how are things
going with you, Hans?

What's the matter?

I thought
you called me Hans.

I must have heard wrong.
No, no, no, I did.

I did call you by
your first name,

just like our good
friend General Kammler.

Our good friend?

Well, you know
what I mean.

Here, Hans, sit
down, sit down.

Please.

Now, tell me,
how are you getting along?

Is there anything
you need?

You're asking me
if I need anything?

Yes. As your colonel,
I am here to serve.

Sir, uh... do you
feel all right?

Of course!

You see, Schultz,

I am one of those officers
who recognizes

that the army
could not function

without a sergeant
like you.

It couldn't?
Oh, no.

But, of course,
a sergeant functions best

with an intelligent
and humane commanding officer.

Who is that?

( chuckles )

I like an under-officer
with a sense of humor.

Schultz,
what I'm trying to say

is that you and I make
a good team.

We do.

Yes, we do.

And teamwork is...

Oh, please.

( chuckles ):
Teamwork is everything.

Remember...

we were the men
that took Poland in 23 days.

I was at home with my wife.

( chuckles ):
It's just a figure of speech.

As a matter of fact, I was
in Berlin at that time myself.

But...

in our spirit,

we marched across Europe.

Now, in the future,

I think we should become
even more of a team.

So from now on,
if you have any problems,

I want you
to bring them to me.

( clicks heels )

Danke.
Dismissed.

( clicks heels )

Oh, Schultz, wait.

"Dismissed" seems
such a harsh word.

Let us rather say, uh,
auf Wiedersehen.

( mimics Klink's jolly tone ):
Auf Wiedersehen.

Schultz...

Would you care for a cigar?

Ja.

But you wouldn't slam
the cover on my fingers

like the last time?

I promise, I promise.

Attention!

Chest out! Stomach in!

It's a good thing

that your uniform
was in order.

Otherwise, I would have
to report you,

and believe me,
I would do it if necessary.

As you know,
the army cannot function

without sergeants like me.

Of course, I try
to be very humane.

If you have
any personal problems,

please, tell them to me.

Chest out!
Stomach in!

Chin up!

All right, this is it.
You know what to do.

Oui, Colonel.

We'll give it a
good try, sir.

I just hope
those Krauts

up in the towers don't
get their wind up

and start shooting.

Be over before they know
what happened.

Schultz is
in the right spot.

Let's go.
All right.

SCHULTZ:
One, two, three,

one, two, three,
one, two, three...

Hey, LeBeau, give
us a cigarette?

I have no cigarettes
for you.

Leave me alone.
What's the matter with you?

All I did was ask.

You're always asking
for things!

Well, I give
you plenty of things, don't I?

I've had it with you,

and I've had it
with this place!

I can't stand it
anymore!

I don't care
what they do to me.

I'm going home now!

Take it easy, mon ami.

Take it easy.

Get your hands off me!

I've had it!
Open the gates!

I'm going home now!

( yelling )

Please let me go home,
Schultz.

Please let me go home.
I want to go home.

I can't stand it
anymore here. Please...

They waltz together
beautifully.

Please, Schultz.
Schultzy, please.

You know how.
Please let me go home.

I can't stand it anymore.
I want to get out of here.

If it hadn't been

for Sergeant Schultz,

who knows what
might've happened?

Thank you for stopping
the prisoner.

He ran into me.

He's so modest.

How could
he miss me?

You don't realize
that you're a hero.

Me a hero?

That's ridiculous.

Yes, I wouldn't go that far.

Of course you wouldn't,

but if that man
had reached the gates,

your guards might
have opened fire.

Could've been panic
among the prisoners.

Maybe I am a hero.

I want you to make
an official report

of this incident at once!

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

Dismissed!

What happened to
auf Wiedersehen?

I said dismissed.

I wasn't a
hero very long.

Hogan,

in the future,
would you let me deal

with my own men in my own way?

Sorry, sir.

And I will not have you give

Sergeant Schultz
a false impression

of his own importance.

You're absolutely right.

Any commendation should come
from General Kammler.

Yes, and in the future, I...

What has General Kammler
to do with this?

It's a cinch
he's going

to hear about this.

He'll want to reward
his old buddy.

Over my head?

I'm the commanding
officer here.

What's wrong with me?

Sir, I'm not exactly
a psychiatrist, but I'd say...

General Kammler
would never do

a thing like
that to me.

Yes, he would.

Why don't you beat
the general to it

and give the award yourself?

For stopping an escape?

That's his job.

You're absolutely right.
Forget it.

And if General Kammler--
as big as he is,

the Fuhrer's
personal favorite--

thinks he can come
to Stalag 13 and run this camp

and dictate your actions,
he's got another guess coming.

Exactly.

What's the reward?

A medal for heroism
and a raise in grade.

A medal for heroism
and a raise in grade.

Invite the general
to come here

to present the
award himself.

Invite the general
to come here

and present the award
himself.

With a nice party
at the hotel in town.

With a nice party
in the hotel in town.

Oh, that's an excellent idea.

I shall get in touch with
Colonel Franz's aide at once.

Oh, Hogan, I'm so glad
I thought of it.

So am I.

How do you explain
that, Colonel?

There's a shortage
of everything

in Germany today,
including waiters.

I go along 'cause I'm
responsible for you.

Very nice,
indeed.

All right,
now, listen.

According to
the underground,

the Krauts are
holding Becker

in one of these
rooms here.

LeBEAU:
And the place is lousy with guards.

HOGAN:
Right.

There's one here
at the stairway,

one patrolling the
corridor upstairs here.

Now, Kinch, you'll
be outside here.

As soon as we
snatch Becker,

get him started to the
coast by the usual route.

Right, Colonel.

Carter, what
about you?

Oh, the smoke bombs
are all set,

and they're beauties.

Now, you take your average,
basic smoke bomb...

All right, Carter.

Fellows, let's make
this the nicest party

the Germans
have ever had.

( band playing )

Oh, would you care
for a drink, Herr General?

I never use alcohol
for anything

but medicinal
purposes.

Medicinal, yeah.

I don't feel so good.

Feel better
now, Schultz?

Ugh. Tastes terrible,

but-but what do you expect
from medicine?

Cigarette?

KLINK:
Attention, please.

May I have
your attention, please?

Gentlemen...

and ladies...

( chuckles ):
we are here tonight

for a very special ceremony.

I have the great honor
to present to you

one of the leading military
minds of the Third Reich,

General Kammler.

Thank you.

As, uh, the colonel
has indicated,

we are gathered here
for a very special purpose:

to honor a man who has been my
friend for more than 20 years.

He served the Fatherland
in two wars,

risking his life
on more than one occasion.

In fact, we are
gathered here tonight

to acknowledge
his most recent act of heroism.

At great personal risk,

he stopped what could have been
a mass escape

of prisoners from Stalag 13.

The medal, please.

Sergeant Schultz.

Go ahead, Schultz.

Sergeant Hans Schultz,

it is now my great privilege
to award you the Iron Cross...

Fourth Grade.

Hey, Colonel,
the lights.

Somebody turn on
the lights, please.

MAN 1:
I don't know!

MAN 2:
What's the matter?

MAN 3:
What happened?

There's a fire
over by the drapes.

Fire! Fire!

Over here!
The whole place is going up!

The drape's on fire.

Men, put that out quickly
at once, hurry!

( all yelling )

MAN:
There's a fire right here.

Water. Water!

Get the water carriers, quickly.

Put that fire
out here, Colonel.

Put that fire out
here, Colonel.

...fire over here,
Colonel.

Somebody get
the fire bucket!

Halt!

There's a terrible fire
downstairs.

The hotel is going up!

It is terrible,
the smoke...

Very nice, indeed.

Thank you, sir.
Practice.

Becker?

Becker?

Becker?

Danke.

Here.
Danke.

Danke!

Danke.

CARTER:
Danke.

MAN:
Danke.

Water! Water!

Right now!

Lots of water!

I said

I want some wa...

Thank you.

( snarls )

That's it! More water
by the drapes.

Ah, I told you it'd
be a nice party.

Wait here.

Come on, Sch...

KLINK:
Oh, now we're getting it.

( grunting )

KLINK:
Good! Everything is under control.

( knocking )

Hold it, hold it.

Ah, at last!
It's about time.

Herr Colonel!

Our prisoner
has been kidnapped

by the underground.

The fire.

It must have been
a diversion.

Yes, a diversion,
a diversion.

Brilliant deduction.

And where are the men
from Stalag 13?

Gone!

No one has
ever escaped

from Stalag 13.

Klink, you fool,
this is all your fault

for holding these ceremonies
in a public place

and bringing
prisoners of war here.

You are relieved
of your command

on neglect of duty.

But I've done
nothing, sir.

Exactly.

Colonel?

Hogan.

LeBEAU:
Don't shoot!

Don't shoot!
Don't shoot! Schultz.

NEWKIRK:
Schultz.

Who's shooting?

He's too tough.
We give up.

We never had a chance--
not with him around.

Captured the prisoners.
Good work, Sergeant.

Yes, good work,
Sergeant.

Well, never fear
while Sergeant Schultz is here.

Hans, you really are
a hero.

You know something?

( chuckles ):
I'm beginning to believe it myself.

( snarls )

Yes, Herr Colonel,
I understand.

Yes?

What a pity.

Thank you, sir.

Yes, Heil Hitler.

Good news, Colonel?
Yes.

Our friend General Kammler

has been transferred
to the Eastern front.

Well, we all got to go sometime.

Gentlemen...

Ooh... my feet
are killing me.

Schultz, no.

What do you mean, no?
They are my feet.

Valuable man like me
should not be walking a post.

Sergeant Schultz, what exactly
did you have in mind?

An office of my own
where the men can report to me.

Schultz, please.

Stay out of this, Hogan.

Sometimes you forget
you're a prisoner.

And a colonel, like me.

( chuckles ):
War is crazy.

How is your paperwork
getting along?

Any little problem
I could help you with?

Ow!

Schultz, your friend
and protector, General Kammler,

has been sent
to the Eastern front.

Sergeant Schultz
reporting for duty, sir!

I did not order you to report.

Yes, sir!

( softly ):
Why didn't you tell me?

KLINK:
Silence, Schultz!

You're dismissed.

Schultz...

you can always write
to General Kammler.

He's still a very
big man in Berlin.

Yes, he's still
a very big...

Wait a minute,
Schultz.

Perhaps the word
"dismissed"

is a little harsh.

Sir, I understand.

Auf Wiedersehen.

BOTH:
Auf Wiedersehen.

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