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00:00:03,629 --> 00:00:06,882
ANNOUNCER:
CBS presents this programin color.
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00:00:22,898 --> 00:00:27,444
( theme song playing )
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00:00:59,643 --> 00:01:02,771
ALL:
...sieben, acht, neun,zehn, elf, zwölf...
4
00:01:02,813 --> 00:01:04,106
dreizehn...
5
00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:06,316
Schultz, why don't you
take off your shoes and socks?
6
00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:07,609
You're running out
of fingers.
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00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:08,777
Mmm, don't confuse me.
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00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:09,820
Hey, Schultz,
why don't you
9
00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:11,196
count our legs
and divide by two?
10
00:01:11,238 --> 00:01:12,739
Quiet!
11
00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:15,325
Colonel Hogan,
there's a prisoner missing.
12
00:01:15,367 --> 00:01:17,160
Impossible.
13
00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:19,955
Mm. Would I lie to you
about a thing like this?
14
00:01:19,997 --> 00:01:23,375
Oh, you would lie to me,
but not the other way.
15
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:24,418
There he is!
16
00:01:24,459 --> 00:01:25,794
Where have you been?
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00:01:25,836 --> 00:01:27,838
Nothing is more important
than roll call!
18
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,506
What kept you?
19
00:01:29,548 --> 00:01:32,509
I was getting a message
from London on our secret radio.
20
00:01:32,509 --> 00:01:35,595
Well, as long
as you have a good excuse.
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( chuckles )
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00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:44,730
Secret radio...
23
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:47,357
in a POW camp...
24
00:01:47,399 --> 00:01:48,650
Impossible.
25
00:01:48,692 --> 00:01:50,026
Now he tells me.
26
00:01:50,068 --> 00:01:51,653
Jolly joker.
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00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:53,280
He really does have
a radio, Schultz.
28
00:01:53,321 --> 00:01:55,907
And you are another one.
29
00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:01,580
I did get a message
from London, Colonel.
30
00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:02,956
Urgent?
Very.
31
00:02:02,998 --> 00:02:04,750
They're gonna
airdrop a man
32
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:06,209
tonight at
2300 hours.
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00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:07,544
Code name Hercules.
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00:02:07,586 --> 00:02:08,754
What are the orders?
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00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,380
Pick him up and
bring him into camp.
36
00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:11,506
He'll tell us
what to do.
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00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:12,841
Sounds like a big one.
38
00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:13,884
You and Newkirk go out
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00:02:13,884 --> 00:02:16,178
through the emergency tunnel
tonight and get him.
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00:02:16,219 --> 00:02:17,763
Right. We'll
take care of it.
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00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:18,722
SCHULTZ:
Achtung!
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00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:21,057
Report!
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00:02:21,057 --> 00:02:22,350
Herr Kommandant,
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00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:24,519
all present
and accounted for.
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00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:25,687
Good.
46
00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:26,855
Now, men, I have
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00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:28,690
a very important
announcement to make.
48
00:02:28,732 --> 00:02:30,150
Hey, they're gonna surrender.
49
00:02:30,358 --> 00:02:31,318
Smart move!
50
00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:32,736
Hey, the Krauts
are gonna surrender.
51
00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:33,737
Who told you?
52
00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:35,363
I just heard it.
( cheering )
53
00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:37,365
Yay, the Krauts
are surrendering.
54
00:02:37,407 --> 00:02:38,909
Colonel Hogan,
control your men.
55
00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:39,910
Oh, I can't, sir.
56
00:02:39,910 --> 00:02:41,244
The news of your
surrender is...
57
00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:42,913
Who said anything
about a surrender?
58
00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:43,997
You did, sir.
When?
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00:02:44,039 --> 00:02:45,874
Just now.
You used the word yourself.
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00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:48,210
Only to deny it.
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00:02:48,251 --> 00:02:49,961
Well, it had
to start somewhere.
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00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:51,087
Silence!
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00:02:51,087 --> 00:02:53,340
Okay, men,
the surrender's off!
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00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:54,591
( men groaning )
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00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:55,634
What a shame.
66
00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:57,052
Now, I've just had word
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00:02:57,093 --> 00:02:59,554
that General Stauffen
of the Führer's headquarters
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00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:02,724
will personally
inspect Stalag 13.
69
00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:05,393
I expect every prisoner
in this camp
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00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:07,354
to clean up and look neat.
71
00:03:07,395 --> 00:03:08,813
Can't do it.
72
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:10,815
Somebody stole me
mascara brush.
73
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:13,777
( laughing uproariously )
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00:03:13,777 --> 00:03:16,279
All right,
pipe down.
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00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:17,906
Undoubtedly the Führer has heard
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00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:20,033
of the excellent work
that I'm doing here,
77
00:03:20,075 --> 00:03:21,868
and General Stauffen's visit
78
00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:24,454
may result in a citation
for Stalag 13.
79
00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:27,082
So we will all be
on our best behavior.
80
00:03:27,123 --> 00:03:30,961
Anyone who does not measure up
will suffer dire consequences.
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00:03:30,961 --> 00:03:32,587
Are there any questions?
82
00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:35,465
Would you like to reconsider
and surrender after all?
83
00:03:35,507 --> 00:03:36,675
( prisoners laughing )
84
00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:37,759
Who said that?
85
00:03:39,302 --> 00:03:41,304
Schultz, get
that man's name
86
00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:42,973
and put him on report.
87
00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:45,809
Dismissed.
88
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,250
How's it look,
Colonel?
89
00:04:10,292 --> 00:04:12,585
The dogs are outside the wire.
90
00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:14,921
That's lovely,
that is.
91
00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:17,048
Klink isn't taking any
chances on an escape
92
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,299
before the Kraut
general arrives.
93
00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:19,759
All right,
down periscope.
94
00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:21,511
LeBeau.
Yes.
95
00:04:21,553 --> 00:04:22,846
Go out with
Newkirk and Kinch.
96
00:04:22,846 --> 00:04:24,597
Keep the dogs busy
until they get away.
97
00:04:24,639 --> 00:04:25,682
Right, Colonel.
Good luck.
98
00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:57,130
So far so good.
99
00:04:57,172 --> 00:04:58,423
( dog barking )
100
00:04:58,465 --> 00:04:59,424
NEWKIRK:
Forget it.
101
00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:00,759
Here's old
Donder and Blitzen.
102
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,927
All right. Easy now.
( dogs whining )
103
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:05,430
Quiet down. Sit.
104
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:07,515
Good boy. Good boy.
105
00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:09,142
Problem is we
don't smell
106
00:05:09,184 --> 00:05:11,144
the same way
the guards smell.
107
00:05:11,186 --> 00:05:14,564
( speaking French )
108
00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:15,857
What did you
say to them?
109
00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:17,108
I promised to
introduce them
110
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,276
to Lassie
after the war.
111
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,278
All right, you
can go now.
112
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,489
Good luck. Good luck.
113
00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:23,740
( whimpering )
Shh. Hey, shh.
114
00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:25,617
Shh. Hey, hey.
115
00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:27,827
Hey...
116
00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:34,375
There they are.
117
00:05:36,961 --> 00:05:38,254
Start the signal.
118
00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:51,017
They got the plane!
119
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:52,435
Let's go.
120
00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:06,491
Hercules?
121
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:07,575
Right.
122
00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:09,577
You chaps Stalag 13?
123
00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:13,164
We are.
Welcome to Kraut Land.
124
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:14,999
( groaning )
125
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,125
Easy.
126
00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:17,168
He's wounded.
127
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:18,336
Yeah, it must have
been the flak
128
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,837
when they brought
the plane down.
129
00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:21,005
Let's get this off.
130
00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:22,840
Careful.
131
00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:24,300
Loaded.
132
00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:25,677
Explosives.
133
00:06:25,718 --> 00:06:27,887
Can you walk, mate?
134
00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:30,348
Negative. Sorry.
135
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:42,860
How is he?
136
00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:43,987
He's badly
wounded, Colonel.
137
00:06:44,028 --> 00:06:45,321
Got caught in a
burst of flak, sir.
138
00:06:45,363 --> 00:06:46,614
The plane went down.
139
00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:47,824
Carter, get a medic
on the double.
140
00:06:47,865 --> 00:06:49,158
Put him in my office.
Take it easy.
141
00:06:49,158 --> 00:06:50,326
Right.
Right.
142
00:06:50,368 --> 00:06:51,327
Easy.
Yeah, I will.
143
00:06:54,372 --> 00:06:55,748
We had to stop
and let him rest
144
00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:56,874
on the way back, sir.
145
00:06:56,916 --> 00:06:58,626
When he was
conscious, he talked.
146
00:06:58,668 --> 00:06:59,836
Yeah. Before
he passed out,
147
00:06:59,877 --> 00:07:01,379
he told us
this General Stauffen
148
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:02,880
is part of a gang
of German brass
149
00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:04,924
that's getting ready
to assassinate Hitler.
150
00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:07,010
The general got in touch
with the underground
151
00:07:07,051 --> 00:07:09,887
and asked for a special
type of bomb, delayed action.
152
00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:11,431
And this is it.
153
00:07:11,472 --> 00:07:14,058
False bottom and sides.
154
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:16,686
And it's loaded with a new,
lightweight explosive.
155
00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:18,855
The timer is in the latch,
right here.
156
00:07:18,896 --> 00:07:21,482
When you use the bottom slot,
the timer is activated.
157
00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:22,650
NEWKIRK:
30 minutes later,
158
00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:23,860
( snaps fingers )
up she goes.
159
00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:26,070
Stauffen has a duplicate
of this briefcase, huh?
160
00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:27,113
KINCH:
Right.
161
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:28,865
Hercules mission
is to get this to us
162
00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:31,492
so the bags can be switched
when the general gets here.
163
00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:33,995
And Stauffen's using his
position on the Führer's staff
164
00:07:34,037 --> 00:07:36,706
to arrange this inspection trip
so he can pick up the bomb.
165
00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:37,957
That's about the
size of it, Colonel.
166
00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:42,545
He was most likely dead
when you brought him in.
167
00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:44,255
He tried to bring
him around, Colonel.
168
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:45,757
This lousy war.
169
00:07:45,798 --> 00:07:48,593
It's a mug's game,
I'll tell you that.
170
00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:51,054
A filthy, rotten
mug's game.
171
00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:52,722
Nothing could have
saved him, Colonel.
172
00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:53,723
Never had a chance.
173
00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:54,974
Okay, Sergeant.
174
00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:56,184
Wish I could
have done more.
175
00:07:58,269 --> 00:07:59,729
HOGAN:
Kinch, get in touch with London.
176
00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:00,813
Tell them
what happened.
177
00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:01,856
Make sure they understand
178
00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:03,733
that Hercules
completed his mission.
179
00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:05,026
Right.
180
00:08:10,239 --> 00:08:13,201
This plan better work.
181
00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:15,536
It's already got an
expensive price tag on it.
182
00:08:21,542 --> 00:08:22,543
SCHULTZ:
Achtung!
183
00:08:41,437 --> 00:08:43,439
KLINK:
Welcome to Stalag 13,
184
00:08:43,439 --> 00:08:44,565
General Stauffen.
185
00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:45,775
This is indeed
a great honor.
186
00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:47,819
On behalf of my command
I wish to say at this...
187
00:08:47,860 --> 00:08:49,403
Thank you, Colonel.
188
00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:51,197
My aide,
Major Gunther.
189
00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:52,824
Major, welcome
to Stalag 13.
190
00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:54,534
This is indeed
a great honor
191
00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:55,827
to be your host also.
192
00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:57,370
At this time, I
wish to say...
193
00:08:57,411 --> 00:08:59,163
That American officer--
194
00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:01,040
your opposite number?
195
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:02,041
The senior POW officer.
196
00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:03,501
Now, if you wish
to step this way,
197
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:04,544
General, I
would like...
198
00:09:04,585 --> 00:09:06,629
Major, I would like
to talk to that man.
199
00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:07,713
At once, General.
200
00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:13,469
General Stauffen's
compliments,
201
00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:15,179
Colonel Hogan.
202
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,519
Colonel Robert Hogan.
203
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:22,520
Colonel.
204
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,313
United States
Army Air Force.
205
00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:26,315
Colonel Hogan,
I mean.
206
00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:30,152
Not you,
General Stauffen.
207
00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:34,490
Very helpful bit
of information, Klink.
208
00:09:34,490 --> 00:09:36,659
Perhaps you could arrange
for Colonel Hogan
209
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:38,452
to join us later
for a little talk.
210
00:09:38,494 --> 00:09:41,080
I'm always curious
about the other side.
211
00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:42,498
Yes, General.
212
00:09:42,498 --> 00:09:44,000
Hogan, you're invited
213
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,876
to join General Stauffen
and his aide,
214
00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:47,837
and you are hereby
ordered to do so.
215
00:09:47,878 --> 00:09:49,380
Well, Colonel?
216
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:51,340
Only a man as strong
as Hercules
217
00:09:51,340 --> 00:09:53,759
could turn down
such a gracious invitation.
218
00:10:00,182 --> 00:10:02,852
Schultz. Come here.
219
00:10:02,893 --> 00:10:06,772
( rhythmic clicking )
220
00:10:06,814 --> 00:10:08,524
NEWKIRK:
Place your bets, gentlemen.
221
00:10:08,524 --> 00:10:10,526
There's a big winner
each and every time.
222
00:10:10,526 --> 00:10:11,736
Pick any number you like.
223
00:10:11,777 --> 00:10:14,322
If you don't see one you love,
we'll make one up for you.
224
00:10:14,363 --> 00:10:15,323
What's going on here?
225
00:10:15,364 --> 00:10:16,365
Gambling?!
226
00:10:16,365 --> 00:10:17,825
No, actually, it's
a prayer meeting,
227
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:19,201
and you're just
in time, Schultz.
228
00:10:19,243 --> 00:10:20,369
Just in time, Schultz.
229
00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:21,537
Just take a look at...
230
00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:25,916
Aha! The lucky winner
is one-- eins.
231
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:26,917
Pays three to...
232
00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:28,502
Well... ooh, blimey,
you're on a streak.
233
00:10:28,544 --> 00:10:29,628
Three to one.
There you are.
234
00:10:29,670 --> 00:10:31,088
Tell your friends
where you got it.
235
00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:32,381
Better luck
next time. Newkirk.
236
00:10:32,423 --> 00:10:33,382
He's a new customer.
237
00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:34,550
Oh, well, then listen.
238
00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:36,427
This is your chance
to send money home to friends,
239
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:37,803
help beat the wartime inflation.
240
00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:39,305
So Churchill says
to King George,
241
00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:40,556
"If I were you,
sir, I think
242
00:10:40,556 --> 00:10:42,224
I'd put Canada in
your wife's name."
243
00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:43,893
( all laughing )
244
00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:45,686
Very good, Colonel Hogan.
245
00:10:46,937 --> 00:10:48,773
Gentlemen,
246
00:10:48,814 --> 00:10:50,733
a speedy end
to the war.
247
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:51,734
Yeah.
248
00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:52,735
Prosit.Prosit.
249
00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:54,528
Better luck next time.
250
00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:56,405
Oh, you think there will
be a next time.
251
00:10:56,405 --> 00:11:00,076
You started the last three,
why get off a losing streak?
252
00:11:00,117 --> 00:11:02,369
That's very funny,
Colonel Hogan.
253
00:11:02,411 --> 00:11:04,413
GUNTHER:
The general is not amused, Colonel.
254
00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:05,915
He is not amused.
255
00:11:05,956 --> 00:11:07,416
I am not
amused either.
256
00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:08,793
You will confine yourself
257
00:11:08,834 --> 00:11:11,170
to noncontroversial
remarks, Colonel Hogan.
258
00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:12,713
Oh, I struck a nerve.
259
00:11:14,381 --> 00:11:16,133
The wheel of fortune turns
260
00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:17,843
and round and
round she goes
261
00:11:17,885 --> 00:11:20,387
and where she stops,
nobody knows.
262
00:11:20,429 --> 00:11:22,515
SCHULTZ:
I know where she stops--
263
00:11:22,556 --> 00:11:24,058
at somebody
else's number.
264
00:11:27,436 --> 00:11:28,771
It is... 12!
265
00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:31,315
Number 12! I just wanted
to pick the number 12!
266
00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:32,608
What are you doing?
267
00:11:32,608 --> 00:11:33,609
Oh, hi.
268
00:11:33,609 --> 00:11:34,568
Guten Abend.
269
00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:36,403
What are you doing
outside your barracks?
270
00:11:36,445 --> 00:11:38,239
Oh, I-I'm looking for Felix.
271
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:39,740
I-I guess he ran away.
272
00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:40,741
GUARD:
What?
273
00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:41,951
CARTER:
Felix.
274
00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:43,119
My pet mouse.
275
00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:44,912
Everybody knows Felix.
276
00:11:44,954 --> 00:11:47,206
You know,
he-he's about this big.
277
00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:49,208
Has a nice little smile.
278
00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:51,210
Except when cats
are around, of course.
279
00:11:51,252 --> 00:11:53,921
Get back in the barracks
or I will report you.
280
00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:55,881
CARTER:
And leave Felix out here alone?
281
00:11:55,923 --> 00:11:57,842
There are dogs
roaming around,
282
00:11:57,883 --> 00:12:00,261
and they double
as cats in wartime.
283
00:12:00,302 --> 00:12:01,971
GUARD:
Into the barracks.
284
00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:03,138
Are you married?
285
00:12:03,138 --> 00:12:05,266
Yeah, why?
286
00:12:05,307 --> 00:12:06,517
Got any children?
287
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,227
Two.
288
00:12:08,269 --> 00:12:10,437
Then you know
how I feel.
289
00:12:10,479 --> 00:12:11,647
Come on, be a pal.
290
00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:14,108
Let me use your
flashlight for a minute.
291
00:12:19,029 --> 00:12:20,489
Thanks.
292
00:12:24,326 --> 00:12:25,494
Here, Felix.
293
00:12:25,536 --> 00:12:26,662
Here, boy.
294
00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:27,788
Here, fella.
295
00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:28,998
Here, Felix.
296
00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:31,166
Boy, isn't it just
like a mouse?
297
00:12:31,208 --> 00:12:32,418
Here, Felix.
298
00:12:32,459 --> 00:12:34,211
Felix, come here.
299
00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:35,629
Ten! Lucky ten and it pays
300
00:12:35,671 --> 00:12:37,214
three to one and who's on it?
301
00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:38,215
I have number nine.
302
00:12:38,257 --> 00:12:40,175
Just one number
away from the winner.
303
00:12:40,217 --> 00:12:41,844
I should get
something for that.
304
00:12:41,885 --> 00:12:43,846
Complaint department's
on the roof.
305
00:12:43,887 --> 00:12:45,472
Take the elevator.
306
00:12:45,514 --> 00:12:46,682
Never gamble!
307
00:12:46,682 --> 00:12:50,853
You know, Schultz,
man cannot live by war alone.
308
00:12:50,894 --> 00:12:54,398
Stop philosophizing
and give me a winner.
309
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:55,649
Your wish is my command.
310
00:12:55,691 --> 00:12:57,860
Now, come on, you're all
going to get lucky.
311
00:12:57,901 --> 00:13:01,196
Come on, spin away now,
everybody going.
312
00:13:01,238 --> 00:13:02,865
You talk too much,
that's what.
313
00:13:12,541 --> 00:13:14,043
And my little girl,
Johanna--
314
00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:16,003
she's already
seven years old.
315
00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:19,298
Really? That's nice.
316
00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:21,675
I don't know
how old Felix is.
317
00:13:21,717 --> 00:13:23,344
Come to think of it,
318
00:13:23,385 --> 00:13:25,721
I don't even know
if Felix is a Felix.
319
00:13:25,763 --> 00:13:27,222
Could be a Louise.
320
00:13:27,389 --> 00:13:28,891
Could be a Mary.
321
00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:30,934
It doesn't
really matter.
322
00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:32,895
Except to him,
of course.
323
00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:42,946
Watch it.
324
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:48,202
Ready?
325
00:13:52,289 --> 00:13:55,876
It's a little warm
in here, isn't it?
326
00:13:55,918 --> 00:13:57,836
You Americans
apparently have
327
00:13:57,878 --> 00:13:59,421
no capacity
for brandy.
328
00:13:59,463 --> 00:14:00,589
( laughing )
329
00:14:00,631 --> 00:14:02,800
I'm a buttermilk man myself.
330
00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:13,394
What's happening?
331
00:14:16,730 --> 00:14:18,399
STAUFFEN:
What... what happened?
332
00:14:22,402 --> 00:14:23,654
Ah!
333
00:14:23,695 --> 00:14:25,072
This is much better, sir.
334
00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:26,156
Yes, indeed.
335
00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:27,658
Any idea
what caused it?
336
00:14:27,699 --> 00:14:29,159
General, we
hardly ever have
337
00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:31,328
any electrical failure
here at Stalag 13.
338
00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:32,663
That's right,
General.
339
00:14:32,704 --> 00:14:34,957
And the commandant
is on top of every snafu instantly.
340
00:14:34,998 --> 00:14:37,000
Like a vulture
swooping down on its prey.
341
00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:38,502
Commendable.
342
00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:40,420
He's dying to
investigate the cause
343
00:14:40,462 --> 00:14:41,797
of the blackout
right now.
344
00:14:41,839 --> 00:14:42,798
I am?
345
00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:45,676
Yes, sir, I am.
346
00:14:45,717 --> 00:14:47,386
Well, in that case,
go ahead.
347
00:14:47,427 --> 00:14:49,138
General, General,
you are... you are my guest.
348
00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:50,389
This gathering
is in your honor.
349
00:14:50,430 --> 00:14:51,682
Don't
be bashful.
350
00:14:51,723 --> 00:14:52,724
Of course not.
351
00:14:52,766 --> 00:14:54,393
No, really, I-I...
352
00:14:54,434 --> 00:14:56,645
I was just about
to excuse myself, sir.
353
00:14:56,645 --> 00:14:57,563
You're excused.
354
00:14:57,604 --> 00:14:59,314
Major,
355
00:14:59,356 --> 00:15:01,733
perhaps you can
be of assistance to Colonel Klink.
356
00:15:01,775 --> 00:15:04,319
Jawohl, Herr General.
357
00:15:04,319 --> 00:15:05,487
Thank you, sir.
358
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:10,993
Thank you.
359
00:15:13,620 --> 00:15:15,497
You are excused.
360
00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:23,171
We made the switch
during the blackout.
361
00:15:23,213 --> 00:15:25,340
You are very
resourceful, Colonel.
362
00:15:25,382 --> 00:15:28,176
Yeah. This bottom latch
activates the timer.
363
00:15:28,176 --> 00:15:30,345
Once it starts,
you've got exactly
364
00:15:30,345 --> 00:15:31,847
30 minutes
to get away.
365
00:15:31,847 --> 00:15:33,348
I understand.
366
00:15:33,348 --> 00:15:34,850
30 minutes
is all I will need.
367
00:15:34,850 --> 00:15:36,685
This little caper of
yours better come off.
368
00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:38,353
We lost a man to give
you what you asked for.
369
00:15:38,353 --> 00:15:39,688
Don't worry.
370
00:15:39,688 --> 00:15:43,692
We are determined to destroy
this fool at any cost.
371
00:15:43,692 --> 00:15:45,152
I know who
the fool is.
372
00:15:45,193 --> 00:15:47,362
Who's "we"?
373
00:15:47,362 --> 00:15:49,197
The greatest
military minds
374
00:15:49,239 --> 00:15:50,657
Germany has
ever produced.
375
00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:55,078
He dares call himself
Supreme Commander.
376
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:58,415
But we'll put him out of
business, I promise you.
377
00:15:58,457 --> 00:16:00,208
It's the least you
can do, considering.
378
00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:01,710
Considering what?
379
00:16:01,752 --> 00:16:03,211
You're the same
bunch of guys
380
00:16:03,211 --> 00:16:04,755
that put him
in business.
381
00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:11,053
STAUFFEN:
And, in consideration to your devotion
382
00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:13,889
to the aims
of the Third Reich,
383
00:16:13,930 --> 00:16:15,891
your efficient
administration,
384
00:16:15,891 --> 00:16:17,768
and because
there has never
385
00:16:17,809 --> 00:16:19,895
been an escape
from Stalag 13,
386
00:16:19,936 --> 00:16:24,983
I have the honor to represent
our beloved Führer
387
00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:29,738
and award you
the Citation of Merit...
388
00:16:29,738 --> 00:16:31,406
Second Class.
389
00:16:31,406 --> 00:16:34,368
Rah! Rah! Rah!
390
00:16:34,409 --> 00:16:36,078
Bravo.
391
00:16:39,873 --> 00:16:42,000
Schultz, I really think
you're proud of him.
392
00:16:42,042 --> 00:16:43,502
Proud? ( sniffles )
393
00:16:43,543 --> 00:16:45,837
Are you a doctor
or something?
394
00:16:45,879 --> 00:16:48,340
The expression
on your face.
395
00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:51,093
I lost 50 bucks
last night.
396
00:16:58,892 --> 00:17:00,894
Thank you,
General Stauffen.
397
00:17:00,936 --> 00:17:03,897
I want to thank you
for this great honor.
398
00:17:03,939 --> 00:17:05,315
We here at Stalag 13
399
00:17:05,357 --> 00:17:07,234
will try to be
worthy of it
400
00:17:07,275 --> 00:17:10,278
and merit the Führer's
confidence in us.
401
00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:12,906
I can assure you,
General Stauffen,
402
00:17:12,948 --> 00:17:16,451
that no one will ever
escape from Stalag 13.
403
00:17:16,451 --> 00:17:18,120
( clears throat )
404
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:20,664
Now...
405
00:17:20,705 --> 00:17:22,833
As I look about
the beautiful grounds
406
00:17:22,916 --> 00:17:24,459
of our beloved
Stalag, I...
407
00:17:24,501 --> 00:17:26,128
Thank you, Colonel Klink.
408
00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:28,004
I am afraid
now I must be off.
409
00:17:28,046 --> 00:17:29,172
Oh, I had hoped
that the general
410
00:17:29,214 --> 00:17:30,465
would reconsider and
have lunch with us.
411
00:17:30,507 --> 00:17:31,675
You know, our chef
412
00:17:31,716 --> 00:17:34,219
makes a most wonderful
apple strudel.
413
00:17:34,261 --> 00:17:35,762
No, no. The general
is expected
414
00:17:35,804 --> 00:17:37,681
at a strategy meeting
with the Führer
415
00:17:37,722 --> 00:17:39,057
and the High Command.
Ja, ja.
416
00:17:39,099 --> 00:17:40,684
Of course, then the
general must go.
417
00:17:40,725 --> 00:17:41,810
I understand. Yes.
418
00:17:41,852 --> 00:17:43,645
Well, so glad
you could see it that way.
419
00:17:43,687 --> 00:17:45,647
Yes, sir.
420
00:17:45,689 --> 00:17:47,023
Thank you.
421
00:17:47,065 --> 00:17:49,151
Schultz!
422
00:17:49,192 --> 00:17:50,443
Luggage.
423
00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:54,990
Luggage!
424
00:18:06,668 --> 00:18:08,128
Hey, Colonel,
did you see that?
425
00:18:08,253 --> 00:18:09,588
What happened?
426
00:18:09,629 --> 00:18:11,173
Schultz--
he picked up the briefcase.
427
00:18:11,173 --> 00:18:12,674
He activated the timer.
You sure?
428
00:18:12,674 --> 00:18:14,134
No question
about it, Colonel.
429
00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:15,552
One of those
generals is missing
430
00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:17,012
and doesn't even
know it yet.
431
00:18:17,012 --> 00:18:18,430
Does Stauffen
know it happened?
432
00:18:18,471 --> 00:18:19,848
No. I don't
think he saw it.
433
00:18:19,848 --> 00:18:21,600
That means we've
got slightly less than 30 minutes.
434
00:18:21,641 --> 00:18:23,518
What do we do?
435
00:18:23,518 --> 00:18:25,437
Carter, LeBeau,
get lost. Disappear.
436
00:18:25,478 --> 00:18:26,646
Where?
437
00:18:26,688 --> 00:18:28,023
Get over
to the motor pool.
438
00:18:28,023 --> 00:18:30,483
Wait for me there,
and keep out of sight. Right.
439
00:18:30,525 --> 00:18:32,194
I'll take that one myself.
440
00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:33,695
Jawohl,Herr General.
441
00:18:41,870 --> 00:18:44,873
Well, Hogan,
another great day at Stalag 13.
442
00:18:44,873 --> 00:18:46,374
Sir, I have some
bad news for you.
443
00:18:46,374 --> 00:18:48,501
Two of my men are missing--
obviously an escape.
444
00:18:48,543 --> 00:18:50,211
Well, on a day
like this, we can...
445
00:18:50,253 --> 00:18:51,671
What?
446
00:18:51,713 --> 00:18:53,465
They slipped out
during the formation.
447
00:18:53,506 --> 00:18:55,425
Nasty of them to take
advantage that way.
448
00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:57,385
Hogan, this is a catastrophe!
449
00:18:57,385 --> 00:18:59,095
Schultz, didn't you count?
450
00:18:59,137 --> 00:19:00,388
Herr... Herr Kommandant,
451
00:19:00,430 --> 00:19:02,682
they were all present
before the ceremony.
452
00:19:02,724 --> 00:19:05,060
You fool. You should have
counted during the ceremony.
453
00:19:05,101 --> 00:19:06,937
Herr Kommandant,
but I... I... I...
454
00:19:06,978 --> 00:19:08,271
Shut up!
455
00:19:08,313 --> 00:19:10,941
Hogan, it's not like you
456
00:19:10,982 --> 00:19:14,110
to report escaped prisoners.
457
00:19:14,152 --> 00:19:15,153
I realize that, sir,
458
00:19:15,195 --> 00:19:16,863
But, after all,
this is your big day.
459
00:19:16,905 --> 00:19:19,950
They would never take away
your medal, would they?
460
00:19:19,991 --> 00:19:21,451
Take away my citation?
461
00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:24,287
Just because a couple
of prisoners escaped?
462
00:19:24,329 --> 00:19:26,247
If only General
Stauffen hadn't said
463
00:19:26,289 --> 00:19:28,625
there's never
been an escape from Stalag 13.
464
00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:30,752
What can
be done about it?
465
00:19:30,794 --> 00:19:32,170
Roadblocks.
466
00:19:32,212 --> 00:19:34,130
Clever.
467
00:19:34,172 --> 00:19:35,632
Schultz, see to it
468
00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:38,593
that guards are notified
at all checkpoints.
469
00:19:38,635 --> 00:19:39,803
I want roadblocks
470
00:19:39,844 --> 00:19:41,971
in a radius of
20 miles at once!
471
00:19:42,013 --> 00:19:43,306
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
472
00:19:43,348 --> 00:19:44,641
And have
my car ready.
473
00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:45,684
I will see
to it personally
474
00:19:45,725 --> 00:19:46,726
that everything
is in order.
475
00:19:46,768 --> 00:19:47,936
Wrong.
476
00:19:47,977 --> 00:19:49,270
If the commandant
477
00:19:49,312 --> 00:19:51,189
of the toughest POW camp
in all of Germany
478
00:19:51,231 --> 00:19:52,607
is see flying
around the roads,
479
00:19:52,607 --> 00:19:54,651
word is going to get back
to Berlin, and fast.
480
00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:55,777
You're right, Hogan.
481
00:19:55,777 --> 00:19:56,820
I'll send Schultz.
482
00:19:56,861 --> 00:19:58,530
And, with your permission,
I'll go along.
483
00:19:58,571 --> 00:20:00,699
Why?
To protect my men.
484
00:20:00,740 --> 00:20:02,701
Schultz is a little
trigger-happy at times.
485
00:20:02,742 --> 00:20:04,244
Me?
486
00:20:04,285 --> 00:20:06,329
Only under
tension.
487
00:20:06,371 --> 00:20:07,330
You have my word.
488
00:20:07,372 --> 00:20:08,540
I won't try to escape.
489
00:20:08,581 --> 00:20:09,874
All right, Hogan.
490
00:20:09,916 --> 00:20:11,251
Permission granted.
491
00:20:11,292 --> 00:20:12,252
Thank you, sir.
492
00:20:14,421 --> 00:20:17,257
( speaking German )
493
00:20:30,562 --> 00:20:32,480
( whistling )
494
00:20:35,733 --> 00:20:36,860
All right, look.
495
00:20:36,901 --> 00:20:38,194
We've got exactly 18 minutes
496
00:20:38,236 --> 00:20:39,362
before that briefcase
blows up.
497
00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:40,864
Can we make it?
An outside chance
498
00:20:40,905 --> 00:20:42,866
if the general hasn't gotten
past the roadblock. Get in.
499
00:20:42,907 --> 00:20:44,367
What are
we doing?
500
00:20:44,409 --> 00:20:45,702
Questions.
Always questions.
501
00:20:45,743 --> 00:20:47,036
What's the idea?
502
00:20:47,078 --> 00:20:49,497
You're escaping, remember?
Lie down.
503
00:20:52,417 --> 00:20:53,751
Colonel Hogan,
are you ready to...?
504
00:20:53,793 --> 00:20:54,919
What are you doing?
505
00:20:54,961 --> 00:20:56,421
Just checking the
spare tire, Schultz.
506
00:20:56,463 --> 00:20:57,547
We've got two
of them. Let's go.
507
00:21:03,928 --> 00:21:06,890
This is General
Stauffen of the Führer's staff.
508
00:21:06,931 --> 00:21:08,892
I'm sorry, Herr Major,
I have my orders.
509
00:21:08,933 --> 00:21:10,393
Orders from whom?
510
00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:13,188
Colonel Klink,
Kommandant of Stalag 13.
511
00:21:13,188 --> 00:21:15,565
I thought
I was rid of that fool.
512
00:21:31,915 --> 00:21:33,374
General Stauffen, I thought
513
00:21:33,416 --> 00:21:35,376
you were on your way
to Berchtesgaden.
514
00:21:35,376 --> 00:21:36,878
I was.
515
00:21:36,878 --> 00:21:40,048
This idiot says
he has some orders to stop all cars.
516
00:21:40,048 --> 00:21:42,217
Herr General,
there was an escape from Stalag 13.
517
00:21:42,258 --> 00:21:43,676
Two of the prisoners
walked out
518
00:21:43,718 --> 00:21:45,094
on those beautiful ceremonies.
519
00:21:45,136 --> 00:21:48,181
I was tempted myself.
520
00:21:48,223 --> 00:21:49,766
You have carried
out your orders.
521
00:21:49,849 --> 00:21:51,726
Now I order you
to allow us to proceed.
522
00:21:51,726 --> 00:21:53,228
I cannot,
Herr Major.
523
00:21:53,269 --> 00:21:55,230
If I were you, I'd let him
search the car, Major.
524
00:21:55,271 --> 00:21:56,689
What? Search
a general's car?
525
00:21:56,731 --> 00:21:57,607
It's unheard of.
526
00:21:57,649 --> 00:21:58,566
Fantastic!
527
00:21:58,608 --> 00:22:00,109
Terrible!
528
00:22:00,151 --> 00:22:01,361
What is Klink
thinking about?
529
00:22:01,402 --> 00:22:02,904
I'm awfully sorry,
Herr General.
530
00:22:02,904 --> 00:22:04,656
But, you know,
Kommandant Klink is...
531
00:22:04,697 --> 00:22:05,698
But he knows that...
532
00:22:05,740 --> 00:22:07,867
Okay, let's go.
533
00:22:09,118 --> 00:22:10,578
Look, you've got
exactly four minutes
534
00:22:10,620 --> 00:22:12,872
before this whole section
of Germany goes up in smoke.
535
00:22:12,914 --> 00:22:14,999
Get up into the woods.
Come around by the barrier.
536
00:22:15,041 --> 00:22:16,876
Get going.
Right.
537
00:22:16,918 --> 00:22:19,796
( arguing continues )
538
00:22:19,837 --> 00:22:21,839
Herr General,
I know nothing! Nothing!
539
00:22:21,881 --> 00:22:24,133
If you do not allow us
to proceed at once,
540
00:22:24,175 --> 00:22:25,510
I will have
you arrested!
541
00:22:25,551 --> 00:22:27,011
You tell him, Major.
542
00:22:27,053 --> 00:22:29,639
I will be late for
my appointment with the Führer.
543
00:22:29,681 --> 00:22:30,848
Can't have that,
can we?
544
00:22:30,890 --> 00:22:32,517
Herr General, a terrible
thing has happened.
545
00:22:32,558 --> 00:22:33,559
CARTER:
Hey, Schultz!
546
00:22:33,601 --> 00:22:34,560
LeBEAU:
Over here, Schultz!
547
00:22:34,602 --> 00:22:35,895
You know, in Stalag 13...
548
00:22:35,937 --> 00:22:37,563
You know,
in Stalag 13...
549
00:22:37,605 --> 00:22:39,649
there has never
been an escape.
550
00:22:39,691 --> 00:22:42,235
And Kommandant Klink
is always very...
551
00:22:42,276 --> 00:22:43,444
Come on!
We give up, Schultz!
552
00:22:43,486 --> 00:22:44,821
There they are!
553
00:22:44,862 --> 00:22:46,447
The prisoners!
Arrest them!
554
00:22:52,745 --> 00:22:54,706
Nothing to it.
555
00:22:54,747 --> 00:22:56,207
15 seconds to spare.
556
00:22:56,249 --> 00:22:57,875
Don't shoot.
We're not armed!
557
00:22:57,917 --> 00:22:59,293
We're not armed!
We give up-- don't shoot us.
558
00:22:59,335 --> 00:23:00,712
Who is shooting?
559
00:23:00,753 --> 00:23:02,463
Come on! Come!
560
00:23:03,923 --> 00:23:06,092
All right, all right,
into the truck!
561
00:23:06,134 --> 00:23:07,802
All right, all right.
562
00:23:07,802 --> 00:23:09,804
We were almost
in Switzerland.
563
00:23:10,805 --> 00:23:12,181
Jolly jokers!
564
00:23:12,223 --> 00:23:13,558
Everything is clear,
General.
565
00:23:13,599 --> 00:23:15,059
I think we may proceed.
566
00:23:15,101 --> 00:23:16,310
Very well.
567
00:23:18,396 --> 00:23:19,897
Hogan,
568
00:23:19,939 --> 00:23:22,567
you saved my life,
and our cause.
569
00:23:22,608 --> 00:23:24,193
How can I thank you?
570
00:23:24,235 --> 00:23:25,361
When you see Hitler,
571
00:23:25,403 --> 00:23:27,363
make sure the meeting
goes over with a bang.
572
00:23:42,211 --> 00:23:44,172
30 days in the cooler,
and that's final!
573
00:23:44,172 --> 00:23:46,090
Aw, come on, Commandant,
be reasonable.
574
00:23:46,132 --> 00:23:47,341
But they tried
to escape.
575
00:23:47,383 --> 00:23:48,718
And I got them back for you.
576
00:23:48,759 --> 00:23:50,178
You owe me something for that.
577
00:23:50,219 --> 00:23:51,721
30 days I owe you.
578
00:23:51,762 --> 00:23:53,222
What do you want?
You got your medal.
579
00:23:53,264 --> 00:23:54,265
Now you're a big man.
580
00:23:54,307 --> 00:23:55,683
Now?
581
00:23:55,725 --> 00:23:56,934
Bigger that you were.
582
00:23:56,976 --> 00:23:58,478
He is a big man, isn't he?
583
00:23:58,519 --> 00:24:00,021
Oh, yes, sir,
very big.
584
00:24:00,021 --> 00:24:01,689
Yes, sir.
You're the biggest.
585
00:24:03,274 --> 00:24:04,734
All right.
586
00:24:04,775 --> 00:24:07,695
I will reduce the punishment
to ten days.
587
00:24:07,737 --> 00:24:10,406
Without Recreation Hall
privileges.
588
00:24:10,448 --> 00:24:11,824
Thank you, sir.
Thank you, sir.
589
00:24:11,866 --> 00:24:12,867
If you try
once more to...
590
00:24:12,867 --> 00:24:14,202
Herr Kommandant,
excuse me, please.
591
00:24:14,243 --> 00:24:16,871
A dispatch from Berlin.
592
00:24:16,871 --> 00:24:18,206
Ooh, a hot one.
593
00:24:19,999 --> 00:24:22,210
Donnerwetter!
594
00:24:22,210 --> 00:24:23,669
An attempt to kill the Führer!
595
00:24:23,711 --> 00:24:25,004
A time bomb!
596
00:24:25,046 --> 00:24:27,423
Terrible!
Who would do a thing like that?
597
00:24:27,465 --> 00:24:28,591
I don't know!
598
00:24:28,633 --> 00:24:29,884
Well, I don't know.
599
00:24:29,884 --> 00:24:32,511
Carter, do you know who would
do a think like that?
600
00:24:32,553 --> 00:24:34,055
No, I don't.
601
00:24:34,055 --> 00:24:36,390
LeBeau, do you know who
would do a thing like that?
602
00:24:36,390 --> 00:24:38,351
No. Who would do
a thing like that?
603
00:24:38,392 --> 00:24:39,393
I have no idea.
604
00:24:39,435 --> 00:24:41,145
Who would
do a thing...?
605
00:24:41,187 --> 00:24:42,855
Oh, I asked
you already.
606
00:24:44,232 --> 00:24:46,067
Once more around,
we'll quit. Carter...
607
00:24:46,108 --> 00:24:48,069
Dismissed!
608
00:24:48,110 --> 00:24:49,362
Jawohl!
609
00:24:49,412 --> 00:24:53,962
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