All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes s01e26 The Prince from the Phone Company.eng

CBS presents this program
in color.

( theme song playing )

How long before you can get us
out of here, Colonel?

Eh, we've got
a bottleneck: money.

German money?

Yeah. You'll never make it
across Germany without marks.

Hitler has just called in
every mark in the country

and put out new ones.

We got stuck with the old ones.

Which we made.

This is one of the reasons
he called 'em in.

Well, so what happens?
So you wait.

We're having new plates sent in
so we can make some new money.

May take a week or two.
In the meantime...

( whispers ):
Guard coming.

All right, into the tunnel,
everybody.

It's only Schultz.

Into the tunnel, anyway.
Come on.

Come on, fast,
fast, come on.

You can't come in, Schultz.
What do you mean, I can't come in?

We're not all decent.
What do you mean, you're not all decent?!

We weren't
expecting anybody... Well, come on, Carter!

You can't come in.
We're just not ready for company...

What do you mean,
you're not ready for company?!

I have to come in!

( Carter and Schultz shouting )

You can't barge in like this.
Something is going on in there!

You let me in!
Nothing's going on.

What is it?
Wait a minute!

Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa!
What-what-what-what-what?

Colonel Hogan,
what is it I see?

What is it you
see, Schultz?

I...

see nothing.

I'm glad you're here--
I've got some business

I want to talk over
with you. Sit down.

What kind of business?

Well, you see, Schultz,

in the currency
switch-over,

Berlin forgot
to notify us.

I'm not blaming
'em-- they're busy.

So we have a few old marks

we thought you might exchange
through your connections.

Colonel Hogan,
it would be worth my life.

Just a thought. 50% off?

They are worthless.

I couldn't get rid
of one of them.

Eh, forget it.

How many do you have?

LeBeau?

Colonel Hogan!

That's what we
get for hoarding.

Colonel, there's a dogfight
upstairs-- American fighters!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

Back! No prisoners are allowed
outside during an air raid.

You could be shot for it.

It's not an air
raid, Schultz-- those are fighters.

They're ours.
Yeah, two of 'em!

( machine guns firing )

Wha-Wha-Wha-What are they doing?

They're attacking a
German bomber-- no, it's an armed transport.

Get on top of him!
On top of him!

( all shouting )
Two airplanes cannot shoot down

an armored transport
of the Fatherland.

Herr Goring said so.

You want to bet ten dollars,
Schultz?

Our airplanes are invincible.

Give me two to one.

You're on.

All right, now, now!

Go, go, go!

( machine guns firing )

( explosion )

( prisoners cheering )

See that?!

All right, everybody,
back, back, back, back!

Back up, back, back, back!

Why is it that I always lose?

It's not you, Schultz.
It's the Fatherland.

Pay up, Schultz.

Eins, zwei,
Eins, zwei...

drei, vier...
Hey, hey, hold on.

This is that old stuff.

I agree it's undignified
for Your Highness

to have to parachute
into Germany,

but I can assure you,
my dear prince,

it was an unfortunate
accident.

The illustrious Luftwaffe
is supreme in the skies.

Then why was I not given
proper fighter escort?

Your government
does not think me of sufficient importance?

Oh, no! I've talked
to Berlin.

They consider you and your
mission of vital importance.

They are going to send
another plane immediately.

No! No more planes.

Of course, Your Highness.
I shall inform Berlin at once.

A train, perhaps?

A nice train?

A choo-choo?

Colonel Klink... I
have been educated on two continents.

I have traveled
all over the world,

and I will not
be patronized

by a turnkey.

Of course, of course.

( knocking )
We cannot be disturbed!

My personal staff car,
Your Highness?

Uh, could you leave for Berlin
in, uh, 30 minutes?

Colonel Klink,
I must protest

your bringing this
man to Stalag 13.

What are you doing here?
Obviously, he's a man of importance

and his being
here could bring on further air attacks.

Colonel Hogan,
leave at once!

Wait. I have not been
introduced.

Oh, I am so sorry.

Your Highness, may I present
Colonel Hogan,

senior prisoner-of-war
officer.

Colonel Hogan,
Prince Makabana.

A great pleasure,
Your Highness.

Educated on
two continents-- touchy, very touchy.

Your Highness, may I prepare
my staff car for you?

Good idea. I hate
to be a poor host,

but the Allies are obviously out

to get His Highness
to abort your mission.

Ha! The Allies know nothing
of my mission.

Oh, come now.
Even here at Stalag 13,

we've heard you're going
to grant the Nazis

an air base in your country.

It is not an air base.

Did I say air base?

Meant to say, uh,
submarine base.

You have been talking!

I didn't say a word,
Your Highness, not a word.

Besides that,
he is a prisoner here.

He can tell no one.

He cannot use the knowledge
in any way.

Colonel, I'd like to go
back to my barracks.

I feel utterly helpless.

Do I look like an expert?
I do not know.

Oh, that's worse.
Are you kidding?

There was no pompom.
That's terrible!

All right, all right,
all right, knock it off.

That's not bad,
not bad at all.

If you could look
a little more regal, Kinch,

I think you'd look
just like the Prince.

Regal? Colonel, you're talking
to a guy from Detroit

who used to work
for the telephone company.

Well, that's an empire.

How's the hat coming?

Oh, they can't agree
what it looks like.

No, we can't.
Oh, don't worry.

We'll grab the
Prince's later on.

Hurry it up anyway--
you have about five minutes.

Look, what do I do?
I mean, what do I say?

How does an African prince act?

Uh, nasty. At least
this one does,

and don't worry, I'll
be with you anyway.

Colonel, I don't know.
I don't think I ought to... Kinch!

There are 15 men down below
who can't get out without money,

and you're going
to get it for us.

You really think I could
pass for this prince, huh?

You're perfect.

Just one thing: the mustache.

My mustache?

Oh, no.

Colonel, do you know
how long it took me to grow this?

Kinch, I've been meaning
to tell you.

You're much handsomer
without it.

Ooh, ten years younger.

Beautiful, beautiful.

Yeah, we'll
save it for you.

I promise.

Put your hands
down there.

My personal staff car,
Your Highness,

and I can guarantee
a completely safe trip

to Berlin.

PRINCE:
I would hope so.

Sergeant Schultz.
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant!

Drive on.

Drive on!

What's the matter, Schultz?
Drive on!

( speaking gibberish )

I beg to report, Herr
Kommandant, th-th-th-th-that...

I have changed my mind.

But-but, Your Highness,

is there something wrong
with the staff car?

Why should Prince
Makabana go to Berlin?

Yes, that's
a very good question.

Why? But then again,
why not?

Let Berlin come
to Prince Makabana.

Drive on.

Drive on!

Drive on?

You will call Berlin

and have them send
their negotiator at once.

Yes, Your Highness,
at once.

And have him
bring plenty of negotiating papers.

Paper?

Yes, the green
kind... that rustles.

Oh, yes, yes, of course.

Your Highness,
there's something important

I want to talk to you about...
Not now, Hogan. There is no time.

All right.
Wait.

Wait?

I thought there was something
familiar about this man.

Hogan?

Robert Hogan.

( laughs ):
Of course.

I went to school with
this man in America.

You've changed.
You had a mustache then.

Don't remind me.

The grip, huh?

BOTH:
Sock, sock, boom, bow!

It's a small world.
Small world.

Free this man at once!

Your Highness,
I cannot do that.

There are rules of war.

Don't bother.
I had no place to go anyway.

Then you shall stay with me.

You have private quarters here?

Of course, Your Highness.

You are my personal guest.

But you are not mine.

You will move your things
out immediately

and move Colonel Hogan in.

Yes, Your Highness. Schultz!

Schultz, not the big things,
just the small things,

and throw out all of Klink's
paintings-- they're terrible.

You remember the night
of the Notre Dame game?

Oh, ho, do I... and the house
detective at the Plaza Hotel?

Hey, I wanted to talk to you
about that.

That was the greatest
party I've ever...

Schultz... sometimes in war,

one is forced into...
strange positions.

Oh, boy...

Herr Kommandant.

HOGAN:
You handled it like a master, Kinch.

Uh, I don't know, Colonel.

I'm telling you, don't
go back to the phone company after the war.

Get a job as a prince.

Ah.

Hey, how do you like
that beast Klink?

Look, his wine
cellar is almost as good as ours.

Pour a little bit more
for His Highness, will you?

His Highness?

Maintenant, chien!

( shouting in French )

LeBeau. LeBeau!

You heard the prince.

Prince.

I may even get
to like this.

( knocking )

HOGAN:
Come in.

Everything to Your Highness'
satisfaction?

A little cramped,
but not bad.

Good. Good.

My best wine.

It's an amusing little wine,

but, of course,
completely incompetent.

That puts it rather well.

Oh, yes, completely
incompetent.

Thanks for stopping by.

Not at all.

Ah, what am I doing?
I just talked to Berlin.

They're sending Count Von Sichel
to negotiate with His Highness.

He's on his way already.

Ah, good. You may go.

Thank you. Thank you.

Oh, what am I doing?

The best news of all:
your wife has arrived in Berlin,

and she's coming here
with Count Von Sichel.

My what?

His what?

Your wife, Your Highness.

I hope that my, uh,
bachelor quarters

are large enough
for domestic bliss.

Oh, that's just fine.
My wife.

What do we do now, Colonel?

How should I know?
You're the prince.

( snaps fingers )

Look, Colonel, why
don't we do this?

We'll bring up
the real Prince

from the tunnel,

tell him it was
all a big mistake

and then let him
take my place.

I think
you've got it.

And when he tells Klink
what's going on down below,

Hitler gives us
all a medal.

How 'bout some more champagne?

Forget it!
Forget it!

It was just an idea.

Come on, Colonel, you
always got some kind

of an idea you can
pull out of the hat.

Yeah.

Well, I haven't.

LeBeau, get over
to the barracks

and have everybody
stand by

to move out
through the tunnel.

This could be the end
of our whole operation.

How 'bout you and Kinch?

We'll stay and
play for a break.

If they grab us,
don't wait.

( knocking )

Out.

Come in.

They have arrived,
Your Highness.

May I present

Count Von Sichel.

And, uh,

Princess Yawanda,
you know, of course.

How are you, Maka?

Uh, just fine.

I think.

Well, champagne
for everybody.

Who is this?

Oh, this is Colonel Hogan,

whose relationship
to His Highness

I tried to explain to you,
Your Excellency.

Oh, yes. Charmed.

Pleasure to do
business with you.

Come, Maka.

Um, uh,
where are we going?

Yeah, where are
you going?

Why, I have not seen my
husband for two months.

There have been
too many delays.

Our submarines are
now awaiting orders

to put in to your
capitol city.

Count, just explain it
to the men on the subs,

they'll understand.

Take as long
as you want.

Thanks.

Hello.

Whoever you are.

Hi.

You know, you do
look like him.

The Big Prince.

Uh, well, he's all right,
you know?

If you're worried about him.

Not terribly.

Lady, fencing's not my sport.

Now, your husband was trying
to make a deal for himself.

I'm trying to make
a deal for the Allies.

Which side are you on?

My own.

And so are you.

And so are they.

And everyone else.

Okay, blow the whistle.

Well...

you come on real strong.

Or do you only look strong?

You know, I always
get hung up on looks.

All right, let's make a date

for after the war
and compare hang-ups,

but for right now,
my neck is sticking out a mile

and I got to know--
which side are you on?

( clicks tongue )

That's a way
to talk to a Princess?

We are wasting time!

These arrangements
must be made

and they must be made now.

We have subs waiting
to come into port,

and we have planes
waiting to take off

with supplies
for the subs now!

Don't bend our money.

I have made you my finest offer,
and you refuse.

And a very generous one,
too, Your Excellency.

I just don't know
if we can do business.

Why not?

Well, Herr Hitler has made

some pretty nasty remarks
about my people, you know.

He was misquoted.

He loves your people.

Oh, yes!

Always singing and dancing.

Oh, he loves them!

Klink, stay out of this!

What did I say?

It's not that His
Highness is greedy,

he just has to think
of the future.

What job security does he have
if you should lose the war?

It is impossible
for us to lose the war.

The Fuehrer is invincible.

Then why does
the Fuehrer need me?

He loves you.

Yes.

400,000 marks, and that
is my absolute top offer.

Do you think His Highness

would compromise his integrity
for 400,000 marks?

Make it six.

500,000 marks.

That's all I have here.

I hope it's in new currency.

Naturally.

Prince Makabana agrees.

Good.

Good.
Good. Good.

Notify your country immediately

to prepare for our submarines
and supply planes.

After you fly
the Prince and Princess home.

Now.

Pick up the phone.

Don't you trust us?

Of course.

After I learn our submarines
are safely in port,

you will be permitted to leave.

In the meantime, Klink,

they are to be kept
in protective custody.

Of course, Your Excellency!

HOGAN:
Wait a minute.

It's against
the Geneva Convention

to keep a prisoner prisoner.

About you, I care nothing.

Now.

I, uh, I don't suppose
that you're familiar

with the language
of His Highness' country?

Since they are remaining here,

until I learn all is well,
it does not matter.

Well, it does to us.

I believe,
because of the Prince's

well-known moral scruples,

he would prefer
the Princess to make the call.

And, if the Princess
doesn't prefer?

Then I think
we are in trouble.

How's it going, Carter?

Oh, just about finished.

Hurry it up.
We haven't got much time.

Colonel?
Yeah?

Now, what about
the money?

You're going to have
it by the bale, Lieutenant,

in about 20 minutes.

Come on, LeBeau,
hurry it up, will you?

You and Carter get
over to the motor pool,

get Klink's
staff car.

Be in German
uniforms.

Right, Colonel.

Newkirk, you know
what to do.

Righto, Colonel.

All right, look.

You get on the wiretap
to Klink's office.

When they get word
we've clobbered

their subs and planes

call the main gate
and get it opened.

( as Klink ):
Jawohl!

This is Kommandant
Klink.

I want the main gate
open at once.

Terrible, terrible.

You said we were all
going out the tunnel.

That's another one
of our operations.

They'll be so busy here,

you'll be able
to get away clean.

All right,
everybody, all set?

I demand
immediate release.

After the way you double-crossed
the Germans?

They'd kill you.

Get down and stay down
and that's an order.

Hi, Schultz.

Halt!

Who goes there?

Rudolf Hess.

I'm on a special
mission.

The Prince
and the Princess

are not
to leave without

Kommandant Klink's
express permission.

He hasn't
told you yet?

Told me what?

He's sending his
staff car for them.

They are not to leave

without Kommandant Klink's
express permission.

You're a good
soldier, Schultz,

but here it comes.

Oh, Your Highness.

Please,
Your Highness.

You have to understand
it is not up to me.

Oh, I'd just as well take orders
from you

than from anybody else--

I love to take orders--

but my orders are for you
not to depart.

You are giving
orders to me?

Oh, Your Highness, please.

I have the highest respect
for royalty.

Oh, things were so much happier
here in Germany

when we had an Emperor.

What am I saying?

You're perfectly right, Schultz.

I am?

Yeah, I tell
you what.

His Highness and the Princess

will wait in the staff car

until you get
the word from Klink,

which, uh, should be
any minute now.

Oh, Colonel Hogan,
I'm so grateful.

Please, Your Highness,
allow me.

Please, please, Your Highness.

Thanks.

The boys up front
will take you out of camp

and pass you
on to the underground.

You'll make it
out of Germany okay,

and back
to the States.

And you?

Me?

I'm here for the duration.

Oh, might be a real ball
if we went together.

What about your husband?

I thought you asked me
which side I was on.

And I thought
I gave you an answer.

Yeah, well, Africa's
a long way from Detroit.

I was from Cleveland.

I'll meet you halfway...

in Toledo?

To compare hang-ups?

Lovely couple,
Schultz.

Beautiful,
and so regal.

KLINK:
And, uh...

shall we drink,
Your Excellency,

to a most successful
negotiation?

Merely routine.

Ah, I would
think not.

I would even
dare to presume

that there might be
a reward waiting

for Your Excellency when
you return to Berlin.

It is possible.

Thank you, my dear.

And, uh, if you
should have the occasion

to mention my participation,
Klink is spelled with a "K"

and there is no "c" between the
"n" and the last "k".

( phone ringing )

Stalag 13. Yes.

Berlin calling,
Your Excellency.

Danke.

The submarines
are in port.

Von Sichel speaking.

What?

Impossible.

What?

But I... but, uh...

Hello? Hello?

What's the matter,
Your Excellency?

Our gallant submarines

were met by Allied
destroyers and sunk.

Our gallant
supply planes

were ambushed
by Allied fighters.

And Berlin is going
to have me shot.

We've been betrayed.

This is
Kommandant Klink.

Open the main gates for
my staff car at once.

Heil Hitler.

( clears throat )

Excuse me, uh, Your Highness.

Toledo?

There is something
about royalty.

I can tell a prince
a mile away.

You are not allowed to be
out of the barracks at night.

Go back at once!

Sure, Schultz.

I just wanted
to tell you

that I just saw the Prince
walking over that way.

B-B-But that's impossible.

He's in the car.

You know, I thought
there was somebody missing.

Excuse me.

W-Where-W-Where is he?

He's over
that way, there.

Oh, Your Highness,
please come back!

Your Highness,
please come back!

Straight out
the front gate.

( engine starts )

Halt! Halt!
Stop them! Stop them!

Schultz! Come back here!

Come back here!

Schultz! Come back here!

Come back here!

Um,
what's "Toledo"?

Well, after the war,
Colonel,

it could
be quite a spot.

But, Colonel Hogan,
I protest.

You have offered
to save me,

but you have not
given me enough money

to get to Switzerland.

Maybe you can
make it to Berlin?

Forget it.

Get a move on.

This way, Your Majesty.

All right, now,
down that hole.

Some day,
I shall relate

all that has
happened to me here.

You do that, Prince.

And, my loyal subjects
shall take their revenge.

If you can find any, yes.

Get down there.

Wonder what
she saw in him?

I don't know, Kinch.

Some women just have
peculiar taste in men.

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