All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes s01e23 The 43rd, a Moving Story.eng

CBS presents this program
in color.

( theme song playing )

How's the decoding
coming, Kinch?

Uh, in a minute.

But it don't look too good.

St. Louis Browns
are in first place in the American League.

And the bank is about
to foreclose

on "Mary Noble,
Backstage Wife."

Again? How'll we ever
break this to Carter?

Break what to Carter?

Brace yourself, boy, this
is going to be rough.

Oh, those eyes.

Kinch, you tell him.

The bank is going
to foreclose on Mary Noble.

I can't take much more
of this.

Put the rest of these...

Here he is,
Colonel.

Picked him up about
half a mile from camp.

Oh, good.
Lynch.

We've been expecting you,
Lynch.

Colonel Hogan.

Well, I got
the stuff for you.

Enough explosives here to blow
this camp clear to Berlin.

Yeah, well, we don't know
anybody in Berlin.

Where are the rest
of the instructions?

Uh, "The Germans' 43rd Mobile
Anti-Aircraft Battery

is stationed at Kaiserhof."

That's that new battery

that's been knocking off
our bombers like clay pigeons.

"Important raid planned for
chemical works at Kaiserhof

"in 48 hours.

"Imperative knock out 43rd
Battery prior to raid.

Explosives
on the way."

Well, you got your work
cut out for you.

My job was a cinch-- just
bring in the explosives.

Hey, they didn't send any
detonator caps with them.

Of course not.

They never send
the detonator caps

in the same package
with the explosives.

It's too dangerous.

Here, excuse me
a second.

What?
Excuse me...

That's against reg...

Nurse.

( humming )

Careful... there you go.

There, my friend...
the detonator caps.

Tell the rest of the fellas

there'll be a briefing
in the barracks.

Right.

I was carrying
the explosives

and the detonator caps?

Mm-hmm. Right.

As you said, Lynch,
your job was a cinch.

All right, Carter
and Newkirk,

you'll pick up
the German vehicle here.

LeBeau, this uniform
doesn't fit at all.

Of course not.

If it fit, you'd
be picked up at once.

You know Germans
are abominable tailors.

Now, listen,

you'll drive
to the 43rd ack-ack battery,

posing as ordnance inspectors.

Now, while Newkirk is supposedly
inspecting the guns,

you, Carter, will plant one
of these little valentines

right at the base
of the recoil frame.

And when they get off
their first shot

and the guns
start to recoil...

( imitates guns
and explosions )

Yeah.

Now, when you bring
the car back,

you'll park it here.

Don't forget
to take enough change

for the parking meter.

Watch it-- Schultz!

Scatter,
everybody.

Eh, four.
Four?

One, two, three, four.

"You have been arrested
for speeding.

Go to jail, pay the fine
and lose one turn."

Hi, Schultz.

( chuckling )

Playing children's games.

What is this war
coming to?

Games?

Want to know what
we were really doing?

No. No. It's a game.

It's a game.

What else would
you boys be doing?

No, no, no, no.

I want to know
nothing... nothing!

Okay, Schultz.

What is wrong with him?

Oh, he's sick, Schultz,
very sick.

He's got measles.

Ja, and they're German.

German measles!

He's lazy,
that's what he is.

( laughing )

Was ist los?

Was ist los?

Was-was-was ist los?

Newkirk, what are you
doing in there?

Newkirk!

You won't believe this,
Schultz,

but I'm dressed
in a German uniform

and I'm going to walk right out
that ruddy front gate.

Jolly jokers!

Jolly jokers!

All of you!

Jolly jokers!

Hey, did you see Schultz?
He nearly caught me!

( laughing )

I'm sorry, I forgot.

Uh, Colonel Hogan,

Kommandant Klink
wishes you to come to his office.

He wants you to meet the
new Executive Officer, Major Kuehn.

Oh, boy!

Our new Executive
Officer, huh?

Doggone! I thought I was
going to get that job.

293 attempted escapes

instead of 291,
as you indicated.

I did not
feel it necessary

to include
those two attempts.

They were made by my guards.

( clicking tongue )

Inaccurate records.

Major Kuehn, may I remind you

that you are only second
in command here

and that your appointment
is temporary.

One might also express it
this way:

I am temporarily
second in command.

( knock on door )
Come in.

Ah, Colonel Hogan.

Colonel Hogan,
this is Major Kuehn.

He is temporarily second
in com...

He's second in command.

I am the new Executive Officer.

And you are
the famous Colonel Hogan,

whose men have been unable
to escape in 293 attempts.

29l.

Don't give me credit
for the two guards.

We covered that.

Colonel Hogan,
I want to warn you.

If anything should happen
to Colonel Klink --

Happen?

An accident...

or a replacement,

in the normal course
of military routine.

At any rate, Colonel Hogan,

if anything should happen
to Colonel Klink,

you will find yourself

against an even more
iron-willed adversary.

Impossible!

Um, uh, who might
that be?

Myself, Colonel.

I will show you the kind of man
you will be dealing with.

Beginning tonight,
I took the liberty

of doubling the guards
around the perimeter.

Now, just a minute!

( muttering ):
Wait, wait, wait, wait.

If there haven't
been any escapes,

why double the guards?

Yes, why?

To put an end
to those attempts.

Now, see here, Major,

may I remind you
that I am the Kommandant here,

and, as such,
I make the decisions.

Very interesting.

I must remember to mention it
to my dear Uncle Karl

when I write him.

Uncle Karl?

Yes, uh, Field Marshal
Karl Von Streicher

of the General Staff.

His specialty
is military protocol.

Have you read his book
on the chain of command?

( weak laugh )

No.

I have.

Not a laugh
in the book.

Well, look, I've, uh,
got to be moving along.

You'll probably want
to get started on a letter

to your dear Uncle Karl.

KLINK:
Just a minute.

As I said,
I make the decisions here,

and I have decided
to tighten security

by doubling the guard
around the perimeter.

Very wise, Colonel.

Perhaps the letter
to my uncle can wait.

Good day, Colonel Hogan.

Little trouble,
Klink?

Well, after all,
he's a young man,

an ambitious man...
with an uncle.

In any case, I'm not concerned.

Well, I guess
you don't have to be.

After all,
you have three choices.

Three choices?

Mm-hmm.
Resign your commission,

ask for transfer
to the Eastern Front or...

( whispers ):
pray for an Allied invasion.

What happened?

The whole place
is crawling with Krauts up there!

They've doubled
the guard.

We barely made it
back to the tunnel.

Boy, this place is getting
just like a P.O.W. camp.

Kinch, call the sub.

Kuehn doesn't
waste any time.

There goes the mission.

But what about that
raid on Kaiserhof?

Maybe they'll delay it till
we get Kuehn out of the way.

Papa Bear calling
Goldilocks-- come in.

Hello, Goldilocks,
this is Papa Bear.

That surprise party
for Kaiserhof--

can it be put off
for a few nights?

OFFICER:
No can do, Papa Bear.

Surprise party goes on
as scheduled.

Do the best you can.

All right.
Roger and out.

The raid goes as scheduled.

That's rough.

You're gonna lose
some mighty good boys.

You're right.

Tell Lynch
to fall out for roll call.

But that's gonna put us
one man over, Colonel.

A little bonus
for the Germans.

What are you going to do
after the war, Schultzy?

Surrender,
what else?

I hear they're going
to put Schultz in charge of Rhode Island.

Well, if they do,
I hope he won't sit down on it.

15, sixt--...

Colonel Hogan, please!

There are 16.

We are supposed
to have only 15.

It's just like
income tax, Schultz.

If the mistake is in
your favor, keep quiet.

Well, I have
to count again!

All right, be my guest.

15 men.

Raus!

Eins, zwei, drei, vier,
funf... ( muttering )...

...dreizehn,
vierzehn, funfzehn!

Ah, now it's 15!
I'm losing my mind.

( whispering ):
Schultz, somebody's trying

to escape in the back
of that car.

Someone is trying to escape
in the back of the car...

Where?

HOGAN:
Right there.

No...

Ach du lieber!

Schultz, what is it?

What is it?

What are you doing
in there?

I was shot down last night, sir.

This morning, I saw this car
parked alongside the road

so I crawled in it
and hid under the blanket.

Major Kuehn, take the prisoner
to my office

so that I may interrogate him.

Colonel, according
to regulations,

interrogations are conducted
by the Executive Officer.

Schultz, that's what I said.

Take the prisoner to my office
so that Major Kuehn

may interrogate him.

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant!

Raus!

Raus, raus, raus,
raus!

I know it's a complicated
war, Colonel,

but I just don't see
how we're going to win

by capturing our own men.

It's a subtle game,
Newkirk.

What you just saw was the first
step in our overall strategy.

Well, what do we do now?

We wait.

For them to make
a mistake?

No. For me to think
of the next step.

They didn't get anything
out of you, did they?

Name, rank
and serial number, that's all.

Well, that's more
than they got out of me.

Sit down.

He couldn't remember
his serial number.

Look, Newkirk, get him
out of the secret tunnel;

and Lynch, thank you so
much for your assistance.

It was nothing.
Had a nice time at your party.

This way, mate.

Well, good luck.

Take care.
Have a good trip, Lynch.

LeBeau, my boy, we are ready
for phase two.

Oui, mon Colonel.

Now, you cannot blame
prisoners for not giving information.

I know a man
is keeping secrets

when he avoids looking
directly at me.

Even Fraulein Helga
noticed it.

That's right, sir.

The Sergeant's eyes
kept moving

away from you
and looking over at me.

KUEHN:
You see?

And he didn't even look me
in the eye!

Perhaps you're right.

They can't be trusted.

( knocking )

Fraulein.

Colonel Hogan is here.

( whistling
Hogan's Heroes theme )

Colonel Hogan, you will please
refrain from whistling.

I'm sorry, sir.

It's just
such a beautiful day.

By the way,
could we leave the lights on

later than usual tonight?

We're having a celebration.

Celebration?

Mm-hmm.

The news today was...

It's such a lovely day,
we want to celebrate.

News? You said, "news".

Well, it's a lovely day.

It's probably going to
be a lovely night, too.

With a big full moon. Huh?

A bomber's moon.
Ah, but don't worry about that.

You've got that great
antiaircraft battery at Kaiserhof.

What's... what's
the number?

Uh, uh... uh, 43rd.

How do you know about that?

Don't worry. It won't
get out of this camp.

Colonel Hogan, lights out will
be the same as usual tonight.

We are not interested
in your celebrations.

Okay, I'll try
again tomorrow.

Maybe we'll have
more to celebrate.

Uh, Helga, honey,
do yourself a favor.

If you have a date tonight,
stay out of Hammelburg.

Did you hear that?

The information
was brought in by the new prisoner.

Indeed.

Of course. They're bombing
Hammelburg tonight.

Very interesting.
How did you arrive at that?

It's like putting
two and two together.

Now, Hogan intimated
there would be a bombing.

And you heard him
tell Fraulein Helga to stay out of Hammelburg.

Now, listen, we
must call General Burkhalter at once

and tell him
to move the 43rd to Hammelburg.

You have fallen
into Colonel Hogan's trap.

He wanted you
to believe that lie.

Of course.
I wasn't fooled.

I was testing you.

I know Hogan like a book.

( laughing )

KINCH:
He's snooping around on the side here.

Yeah, he's looking
for something.

Let's give it to him.

Have the men fall out.

Make sure they line up
near this corner.

We don't want Kuehn
to miss a word.

All right.
All right.

NEWKIRK:
I don't know, either...

( indistinct,
loud conversation )

I don't know
what he wants.

Come on,
what's going on?

All right, all right.
Let me have your attention.

I have several
announcements to make.

Number one-- whoever stole
Newkirk's watch, forget it.

He just stole it back.

Good job.
Good job.

Now, my next announcement
concerns us all.

It will not be
very welcome news.

( men groaning )

NEWKIRK:
What do you mean by that then, Colonel?

CARTER:
What's going on, Colonel?

As you all know,
tomorrow's the day

that the Red Cross packages
are scheduled to arrive.

Yeah.
Sure.

Now they're going to be
unavoidably detained,

if not destroyed.

Why?!
Oh, boy!

( clamoring )

However, once you
learn the reason why,

I don't think you're going to be
disappointed.

KINCH:
You mean...?

HOGAN:
That's exactly what I mean.

That's all.
Fall out.

Oh, boy!

( murmuring )

Will you be needing
me, Herr Major?

Not for the present,
my dear.

I'll finish the letter
to my Uncle Karl later.

( clears throat )

Major Kuehn, about your uncle,
the Field Marshal...

Uncle Karl?

Yes.

Oh!

Have you been thinking
that possibly

I might use
this close connection

to your disadvantage?

Well, of course, I...

May I remind you, sir,

that I am
second in command here

and that my loyalty rests
with you.

Splendid!

And may I say to you, sir,

if my uncle
were a Field Marshal,

I would be equally generous.

As a matter of fact...

Ja, ja, ja, ja.

By the way, Colonel,
I believe the Red Cross truck

with the prisoners' packages is
due tomorrow.

Yes, that's true.

I am just curious.

What is the route the truck
takes to reach Stalag 13?

May I show you?

I am quite good with
maps, by the way.

You know, I studied
Tactics at Command School.

Now, here we are.

The trucks leave
from the southwest.

They go through
Kleinhoff,

Bad Stroheim,
Weisskirchen,

and Hammelburg.

Now...

Thank you, Colonel.

But I was about to show you
some features

of tactical interest for
students of World War I.

Colonel, have you checked
the gate security recently?

No. But Verdun is of
special significance.

Regulations state specifically
that gate security

should be checked daily
by the Commandant.

Yes, of course.

I customarily do just
that at this time.

You know, I have great
confidence in you, Major.

Great confidence.

I don't trust that man.

Major Kuehn here.

Get me General Burkhalter's
headquarters at once.

Ah...

Hammelburg.

( over radio ):
Burkhalter here. What is it, Major?

KUEHN:
General, I have just extracted

some vital information
from a prisoner.

An enormous air strike
is on for tonight.

Target: Hammelburg!

KUEHN:
Yes, sir, I am absolutely positive.

Undoubtedly, it's the munitions
works there.

Sir, I am certain the prisoner
wasn't lying.

KUEHN:
I got the information so cleverly,

he wasn't even aware
he made the slip.

With the General's permission,

may I strongly suggest
that you move

the 43rd Mobile Antiaircraft
Battery to Hammelburg at once?

BURKHALTER:
I will see to it immediately.

And good work, Kuehn.

KUEHN:
Thank you, Herr General.

Colonel, the fly
walked right into your parlor, he did.

Yep. And he brought

the 43rd Ack-Ack
Battery right along with him.

Kinch, contact
the sub.

Right, and tell them
that everything's okay

for the raid
on Kaiserhof, huh?

Right! Oh, and by the way,
for Carter's sake,

will you find about
"Mary Noble, Backstage Wife"?

If it's any more
bad news,

I don't want
to hear it.

( laughter )

Want to see me, Major?

Yes. Is your
barracks policed up

and your men
ready for inspection?

Yeah.
What's the occasion?

General Burkhalter is due
to arrive any moment.

And, Hogan, I want you
to know I appreciate your helpfulness.

I helped you
in some way?

Unknowingly.
You were shrewd.

Shrewd enough
for most men.

Colonel Klink,
for example, was completely taken in.

But not you, huh, Major?

KLINK:
Major Kuehn!

May I ask
why I was not informed

about the upcoming visit
of General Burkhalter?

Very simple, Colonel.

General Burkhalter is
coming to see me, not you.

But the Commandant
must always be informed

about a visit
of such importance!

Of course, you still
are the Commandant.

Very well.
You are informed.

And may I also inform you
that General Burkhalter,

in his message, told me he
was bringing me a surprise,

and I strongly suspect that
surprise is a close relative.

You don't mean the...?

His uncle,
the Field Marshal.

You ought to read
his book.

Silence!
I'll lend you my copy.

( car approaching )

There's
General Burkhalter now!

General Burkhalter, may I
welcome you to Stalag l3.

Out of my way, Klink.

This is the man
I came to see.

Major Kuehn?

Ja, Herr General.

Major, about
that information you phoned me,

regarding last
night's raid...

Did you know
about that, Klink? No!

Sir, he phoned you?!

Naturally.

Boy, you can't trust

anybody nowadays.

Was the operation
successful, sir?

Enormously.

From the point of view
of the Allies!

Allies?!
Allies?!

We're the good guys.

You blundering fool!

Getting me to move
the 43rd to Hammelburg!

But, but, but...

Didn't they bomb...?

Kaiserhof, yes!

The chemical works there
were reduced to rubble.

KUEHN:
It-It-It-It-It was Hammelburg!

He told me!

How would I know
a thing like that?

Don't try to squirm
out of this, Kuehn.

Klink, can you
get along temporarily

without an
Executive Officer?

Yes, I can, sir.

Oh, now, wait
a minute!

You can't take
Major Kuehn.

He's the only
friend we have here.

Why, just last night,
the fellas voted to make him an honorary prisoner.

Honorary?
Well...

when I get back to Berlin,

I will see to it
that it is made official!

I warn you, I shall protest

to my uncle,
Field Marshal Von Streicher!

I wouldn't count too heavily

on the help
from your uncle, Kuehn.

Last night, the Field Marshal
was on an inspection tour

that took him, unfortunately,

to the chemical works
at Kaiserhof!

And I wanted to get
you an autographed copy of his book.

The Colonel will be
here in a moment.

Thanks, Helga.

He seems very
angry with you.

Have you done
something naughty?

No, but I might as well.

Hogan, I am holding you
responsible for the escape.

What escape?

Lynch's.

He ruined my perfect record.

Now you and your men
are going to pay for it.

This is the first
and the last escape.

Wait a minute,
wait a minute.

How could you lose something
you never had?

What? What?

How did Lynch get in here?

Now, you know that
perfectly well.

In the backseat
of Major Kuehn's staff car.

What if I were to tell you
he got out the same way?

What? What?

He came in
in the back of Kuehn's staff car,

and he went out

in the back
of Kuehn's staff car.

He was never your prisoner.

He was Kuehn's stooge-- a spy.

I have my records right here.

His name...

his rank...

and it's gone.

You know, Hogan,
I never really trusted Major Kuehn.

Really?

I think that
Lynch was a spy.

Brilliant.

Oh, boy.

You never miss a trick.

My record remains
unblemished.

Not one escape.

Mm-hmm.

But we'll keep trying,

even though we're
no match for you.

Naturally.

And I admire your spirit.

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