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1
00:00:03,879 --> 00:00:07,216
CBS presents this programin color.
2
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:31,073
( theme song playing )
3
00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:13,907
By order
of Commandant Wilhelm Klink,
4
00:01:13,949 --> 00:01:18,996
all prisoners have to stay away
from doors and windows,
5
00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:22,291
and are not allowed
to leave the barracks
6
00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:23,959
for no reason whatsoever
7
00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:27,171
until further notice.
8
00:01:27,171 --> 00:01:28,380
You can't do that.
9
00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:30,716
It's against the Geneva
Prisoner of War Convention.
10
00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:32,801
And the rules
of organized warfare.
11
00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:35,971
And don't forget the Interstate
Commerce Commission.
12
00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:39,725
I have given the order.
13
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:42,936
Every time
I tell them something,
14
00:01:42,978 --> 00:01:45,814
they always give me trouble.
15
00:01:45,856 --> 00:01:47,566
Good-bye,
Schultz!
16
00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:48,734
Good-bye, old Shultz.
17
00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:50,235
Hey, Colonel,
what's happening?
18
00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:51,695
We're gonna find out
right now.
19
00:01:51,737 --> 00:01:52,529
Carter, watch the door.
20
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:06,043
Hey, they just
brought in a civilian.
21
00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:07,711
Anybody we know?
22
00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:10,005
He's guarded
by two Kraut officers.
23
00:02:10,047 --> 00:02:12,257
They put him
in that storage building
24
00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:14,176
they've been cleaning out
all this week.
25
00:02:14,218 --> 00:02:15,552
Must be important.
26
00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:17,221
I could sneak out
and find out, maybe. No?
27
00:02:17,221 --> 00:02:18,889
Nah, nah, nah.
Got a better idea.
28
00:02:18,889 --> 00:02:20,891
Schultz probably knows
what's going on.
29
00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:22,726
Carter, go tell him
there's a seat open
30
00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:24,186
in the blackjack game.
31
00:02:24,228 --> 00:02:25,604
Newkirk, start
the blackjack game.
32
00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:42,621
21. Name of the game, gents.
33
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:44,790
Wiederein-und-swanzig.
34
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,416
He beats me again.
35
00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:48,836
He's knocking
my brains out.
36
00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:50,420
Tough luck, old chap.
37
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:51,922
Care for another go?
38
00:02:51,964 --> 00:02:53,882
What do you think?
39
00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:55,717
You think I'm a sucker?
40
00:02:55,759 --> 00:03:00,055
You think I just got off the bus
from Dusseldorf?
41
00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:03,642
Hmm. I bet 25 marks...
42
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:05,018
on the cuff.
43
00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:06,603
Sorry, Schultz.
44
00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:08,564
You've already had 300 marks
on tick.
45
00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:11,275
You'll have to get the okay
from... Colonel Hogan.
46
00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:12,901
What's the
problem, Schultz?
47
00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:15,571
Oh, our friend
here wants more credit, Colonel,
48
00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:17,948
but he's already into us
for quite a bit.
49
00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:19,616
Oh, I see.
50
00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:22,286
Well, Schultz,
you owe us money
51
00:03:22,286 --> 00:03:24,621
and, obviously,
you can't pay.
52
00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:26,290
What are you gonna
do about it?
53
00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:27,291
I'm going
to make a comeback.
54
00:03:27,291 --> 00:03:28,417
Don't you worry.
55
00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:30,127
Gambling is
against the rules,
56
00:03:30,169 --> 00:03:31,587
especially
with prisoners.
57
00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:34,173
Now, if Colonel Klink
should find out...
58
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,674
( whistles )
59
00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:38,135
say hello to the gang at
the Russian front, baby.
60
00:03:38,177 --> 00:03:40,637
Oh, Colonel, please
give him a chance.
61
00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:42,973
Yeah, Colonel,
take it easy on him.
62
00:03:43,015 --> 00:03:45,017
He's not a bad sort...
for a goon.
63
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:46,643
All right.
I'll tell you what.
64
00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:49,313
You can get even
and back into the game, Schultz.
65
00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:50,898
Tell us who
the civilian was
66
00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:52,858
that they brought
into camp tonight.
67
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:57,863
You want me to give you
a secret for 300 marks?!
68
00:03:57,905 --> 00:04:00,407
He who dances
must pay the fiddler.
69
00:04:00,449 --> 00:04:01,658
Who's dancing?
70
00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:02,951
My answer is no.
71
00:04:03,202 --> 00:04:04,453
Oh, Colonel...
72
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:08,832
I just overheard
those two guards talking.
73
00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:10,918
Guess who that man is
74
00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:12,669
that they brought
in here tonight?
75
00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:14,171
Who?
76
00:04:14,213 --> 00:04:15,506
( whispering )
77
00:04:15,714 --> 00:04:17,174
( laughing )
78
00:04:17,216 --> 00:04:21,011
Who do you think I am,
a Dummkopf or something?
79
00:04:21,053 --> 00:04:22,513
Using that old corny trick.
80
00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:26,016
I'm the only one
that Commandant Klink told
81
00:04:26,058 --> 00:04:29,353
that the man is a captured
French scien...tist.
82
00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:30,854
French scientist,
Schultz?
83
00:04:30,896 --> 00:04:32,356
What's his name?
84
00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:33,565
I say no more.
85
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:34,858
It slipped out.
86
00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:36,360
I have witnesses.
87
00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:37,861
The Russian
front, baby--
88
00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:40,864
combing your hair
with an ice pick every morning.
89
00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:42,699
Come on, Schultz,
you're in too deep.
90
00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,201
What's his name?
91
00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:45,202
( exhales )
92
00:04:45,244 --> 00:04:46,703
His name is Henry DuBois.
93
00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:48,372
Deal me in.
94
00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:50,207
He was brought here
for some experiments.
95
00:04:50,249 --> 00:04:52,042
Deal me in.
96
00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:54,753
SHULTZ:
Deal me in.
97
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:56,630
Hit me. Hit me.
98
00:04:56,672 --> 00:04:57,714
Deal me...
99
00:04:57,756 --> 00:04:58,882
Ah!
100
00:04:58,924 --> 00:05:00,884
Ein-und-zwanzing!
101
00:05:00,926 --> 00:05:02,386
Ha, ha, ha!
102
00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:03,303
( laughing )
103
00:05:04,930 --> 00:05:07,850
Hey, here's the answer on DuBois
from London, Colonel.
104
00:05:07,891 --> 00:05:09,518
Okay, Kinch.
105
00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:11,728
"DuBois synthetic
fuel expert.
106
00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:13,689
"Reported collaborating.
107
00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:15,649
"Valuable man.
108
00:05:15,691 --> 00:05:17,484
"Try get him our side.
109
00:05:17,526 --> 00:05:21,655
Failing, eliminate
DuBois and work."
110
00:05:21,697 --> 00:05:23,699
Sounds like
a big job, huh?
111
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:26,493
Must be. They
went over ten words.
112
00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:30,122
May I ask how you found out
that Henry DuBois is here?
113
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:33,208
Colonel, a POW camp
is like a beauty parlor--
114
00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:36,170
gossip, loose talk,
rumors about such things
115
00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:39,423
as who's being transferred
to the Russian front.
116
00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:41,091
They wouldn't dare.
117
00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:42,551
I am needed here.
118
00:05:42,593 --> 00:05:43,802
Of course. Of course.
119
00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:45,512
But, just in case,
120
00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:47,931
the boys are knitting
you a beautiful muffler.
121
00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:49,308
And what is this
about LeBeau?
122
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:50,976
Oh, yeah.
123
00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:53,187
Monsieur DuBois caught sight
of him this morning
124
00:05:53,228 --> 00:05:55,522
and immediately asked him
to work in his laboratory.
125
00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:57,024
But why LeBeau?
126
00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:59,568
You have never heard
of Louis LeBeau?
127
00:05:59,610 --> 00:06:01,486
The man they called
Mr. Test Tube
128
00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:03,447
at the École de Chimie
in Paris?
129
00:06:03,447 --> 00:06:05,282
He's a chemist?
130
00:06:05,324 --> 00:06:07,784
In France, he's known
for the discovery of hemolac.
131
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:10,662
He... Hemolac?
132
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,289
What is hemolac?
133
00:06:12,289 --> 00:06:14,750
That's a problem for after
the war: What is hemolac?
134
00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:17,336
But he's a cook who
works for the prisoners.
135
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:19,963
You know what they say
at the universities:
136
00:06:19,963 --> 00:06:22,841
You show me a chemist,
and I'll show you a great chef.
137
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:25,886
What's the difference whether
you have hydrochloric acid
138
00:06:25,928 --> 00:06:28,138
or a pot roast cooking
on a Bunsen burner?
139
00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:29,848
I can't believe it.
140
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,975
Just think how great
it would be for you
141
00:06:32,017 --> 00:06:33,519
if you got the credit
142
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:37,105
for speeding up
Monsieur DuBois' experiments.
143
00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:38,815
Yes! I can see where
144
00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:42,069
General Burkhalter
would be very pleased.
145
00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:44,071
It's amazing
how far ahead of me
146
00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:45,656
you are at times.
Amazing.
147
00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:47,115
So...
148
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,996
LeBeau refuses to
work for him, eh?
149
00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:54,915
That
little cockroach.
150
00:06:54,957 --> 00:06:57,292
I'll show him who's in command
of Stalag 13. Bring him in!
151
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:02,714
Monsieur LeBeau, from
the École de Chimie in Paris.
152
00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:06,635
I will not do it.
153
00:07:06,677 --> 00:07:08,178
I will not.
154
00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:10,347
We have ways
of making you obey orders.
155
00:07:10,389 --> 00:07:12,307
I'm only required
to give my name,
156
00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:13,684
rank and serial number.
157
00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:15,686
I am Louis LeBeau,
Corporal,
158
00:07:15,686 --> 00:07:20,649
and my serial number
is H-1-2-4-9-7...
159
00:07:20,691 --> 00:07:22,067
H-1-2...
160
00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:23,694
4...
161
00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:25,863
H...
162
00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:28,031
The man who invented hemolac
163
00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:31,201
can't even remember
his own serial number.
164
00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:32,703
They're all that way.
165
00:07:32,744 --> 00:07:35,372
Einstein once
left the house without his pants.
166
00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:37,207
That means nothing to me.
167
00:07:37,249 --> 00:07:39,042
It meant
something to him.
168
00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:41,712
Corporal LeBeau,
you are hereby ordered
169
00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:45,716
to report to Monsieur DuBois
and assist him as requested.
170
00:07:45,716 --> 00:07:46,717
Dismissed.
171
00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:55,559
Monsieur DuBois?
172
00:07:55,559 --> 00:07:57,394
Oui.
173
00:07:57,394 --> 00:08:00,189
I am Corporal
Louis LeBeau.
174
00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:02,107
I've been ordered
to assist you
175
00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:03,650
in your experiments.
176
00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:05,986
I have no need for an assistant.
177
00:08:06,028 --> 00:08:07,613
I did not ask for one.
178
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,907
This is the order
of the commandant,
179
00:08:09,907 --> 00:08:11,325
Colonel Wilhelm Klink.
180
00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:13,368
Then I have no choice.
181
00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:15,412
Yes, you do have a
choice, Monsieur DuBois.
182
00:08:17,915 --> 00:08:19,333
Cochon!
183
00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:21,251
Your choice is work
for the allies or die!
184
00:08:21,293 --> 00:08:22,961
And I will see to that myself.
185
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,463
Collaborator!
186
00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:26,131
Collaborator?
187
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:28,050
Yes!
188
00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:30,177
( groans )
189
00:08:30,219 --> 00:08:33,555
Do you think I do this
because I want to?
190
00:08:33,597 --> 00:08:37,309
They are holding my daughter
at the hotel in town.
191
00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:39,686
If I do not do as they say,
192
00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:41,313
who knows
what might happen to her?
193
00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:45,692
You didn't volunteer?
194
00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:48,070
I'm loyal
to our country.
195
00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:50,864
My daughter and I were captured
when France fell.
196
00:08:50,906 --> 00:08:53,325
The Germans force me
to work for them.
197
00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:55,244
I have been delaying,
198
00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:58,247
making little
useless experiments.
199
00:08:58,288 --> 00:09:01,583
Frankly, I... I don't know
what to make anymore.
200
00:09:01,625 --> 00:09:03,460
I have an idea for you.
201
00:09:03,502 --> 00:09:04,920
Yes?
202
00:09:04,962 --> 00:09:06,630
How about crêpes suzette?
203
00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:08,590
Crêpe su...?
204
00:09:08,632 --> 00:09:10,551
( both laughing )
205
00:09:13,345 --> 00:09:15,180
( sotto voce ):
LeBeau told me
206
00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:18,141
DuBois said he wouldn't leave
without his daughter.
207
00:09:19,852 --> 00:09:22,479
We'll never get her
out of that hotel.
208
00:09:24,523 --> 00:09:28,151
They've got half the German army
guarding the girl.
209
00:09:30,529 --> 00:09:33,740
We'll just have to rescue
the girl.
210
00:09:37,536 --> 00:09:39,329
"We'll just have to rescue
the girl."
211
00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:40,914
Great. But how?
212
00:09:40,956 --> 00:09:44,168
How many men
would be guarding a prisoner
213
00:09:44,168 --> 00:09:46,670
in a place
like the Hausner Hof?
214
00:09:46,712 --> 00:09:49,173
CARTER:
Two or three squads.
215
00:09:50,549 --> 00:09:53,510
Maybe a captain
and even a major.
216
00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:55,345
What difference does it make?
217
00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:57,890
Might as well be a
bleeding general.
218
00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:02,519
Why not a general?
219
00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:04,855
I mean, if a general showed up
at the Hausner Hof
220
00:10:04,897 --> 00:10:07,357
and demanded the girl...
221
00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:09,568
Where are we going to
get somebody like that?
222
00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:11,820
He comes up
with ideas, I..
223
00:10:11,862 --> 00:10:13,405
You will stand
at attention
224
00:10:13,447 --> 00:10:15,991
when General Von Himmelburger
addresses you!
225
00:10:16,033 --> 00:10:17,367
Jawohl, Herr Gener...
226
00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:18,493
( growls )
227
00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:40,891
( groans )
228
00:10:40,933 --> 00:10:42,643
Thank you, Putzi.
229
00:10:44,895 --> 00:10:48,065
We are the Hausner Hof
Hotel, Herr General.
230
00:10:48,065 --> 00:10:50,234
Danke schon, Putzi.
231
00:10:50,234 --> 00:10:51,944
I hate to read signs
232
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:54,571
unless
it's absolutely necessary.
233
00:10:55,781 --> 00:10:57,449
Achtung!
234
00:10:57,574 --> 00:10:58,909
NEWKIRK:
Achtung!
235
00:10:58,951 --> 00:11:00,911
Achtung! Achtung!
236
00:11:00,953 --> 00:11:02,412
Schnell, Dummkopf!
237
00:11:02,454 --> 00:11:04,498
Achtung! Achtung!
238
00:11:17,886 --> 00:11:19,221
( bell dings )
239
00:11:19,263 --> 00:11:23,517
This is General Von Himmelburger
of the fuhrer's staff.
240
00:11:23,559 --> 00:11:24,601
Heil Hitler.
241
00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:25,561
ALL:
Heil Hitler.
242
00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:29,231
Depressing.
Depressing.
243
00:11:29,273 --> 00:11:31,024
Putzi, until this moment,
244
00:11:31,066 --> 00:11:33,902
I thought we had a
chance to win the war.
245
00:11:33,944 --> 00:11:35,571
But don't quote me.
246
00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:37,322
SERGEANT:
At your orders, Herr General.
247
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,700
You are holding
a prisoner here,
248
00:11:39,741 --> 00:11:42,411
a girl named...
249
00:11:45,956 --> 00:11:47,374
Marie DuBois,
Herr General.
250
00:11:47,416 --> 00:11:48,500
Heil Hitler.
251
00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:49,918
ALL:
Heil Hitler.
252
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:51,253
Marie DuBois.
253
00:11:51,295 --> 00:11:54,840
I want her taken outside,
put in my machine at once.
254
00:11:54,882 --> 00:11:56,216
But Herr General...
255
00:11:56,258 --> 00:11:57,843
SERGEANT:
Herr General...
256
00:11:57,885 --> 00:11:59,052
Take this man's name,
257
00:11:59,094 --> 00:12:01,346
have him transferred
to the Russian front.
258
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:02,306
Jawohl, Herr General.
259
00:12:02,347 --> 00:12:03,682
Heil Hitler.
260
00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:05,184
ALL:
Heil Hitler.
261
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:08,145
May I be of assistance,
Herr General?
262
00:12:08,187 --> 00:12:11,190
This man is to be
court-martialed and shot!
263
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,525
But, Herr General,
I have not even greeted you yet.
264
00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:14,985
That's why-- you're too slow.
265
00:12:15,027 --> 00:12:16,778
Will you never learn?!
266
00:12:16,820 --> 00:12:19,531
General Himmelburger,
may I be of assistance?
267
00:12:19,573 --> 00:12:20,866
You may not!
268
00:12:20,908 --> 00:12:22,951
Take this man's name, Putzi.
269
00:12:22,993 --> 00:12:24,995
Transfer to
the Russian front, sir,
270
00:12:24,995 --> 00:12:26,955
or court-martialed
to be shot?
271
00:12:26,997 --> 00:12:28,499
I don't know. Mix 'em up.
272
00:12:28,540 --> 00:12:30,250
Jawohl, Herr General.
273
00:12:30,292 --> 00:12:31,418
Heil Hitler.
274
00:12:31,460 --> 00:12:32,628
ALL:
Heil Hitler.
275
00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:35,422
Sir, I regret, we must
have written authorization
276
00:12:35,464 --> 00:12:36,924
to release the prisoner.
277
00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:39,718
You dare to question
the authority
278
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:41,553
of General Von, Von, Von....
279
00:12:41,845 --> 00:12:42,763
Himmelburger.
280
00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:44,056
Himmelburger?
281
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:47,684
This man will be
court-martialed, shot
282
00:12:47,726 --> 00:12:49,645
and sent to the
Russian front!
283
00:12:49,686 --> 00:12:51,897
Now, listen to me, all of you.
284
00:12:54,525 --> 00:12:56,276
My patience is at an end.
285
00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:03,116
I want this girl brought down
and put in my machine.
286
00:13:04,743 --> 00:13:05,994
In five minutes.
287
00:13:06,036 --> 00:13:07,204
( glass shattering )
288
00:13:07,204 --> 00:13:08,372
Repeat, five minutes.
289
00:13:08,372 --> 00:13:09,581
( glass shattering )
290
00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:11,291
HOGAN:
If you do not follow my orders
291
00:13:11,333 --> 00:13:12,292
( glass breaking )
292
00:13:12,334 --> 00:13:13,252
within that time,
293
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,128
you will all be transferred
294
00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:16,630
to the Russian front.
295
00:13:16,672 --> 00:13:18,799
Including the hotel itself.
296
00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:22,135
( bellows )
297
00:13:22,177 --> 00:13:24,096
Do you hear me?!
298
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:26,598
Aah!
299
00:13:31,228 --> 00:13:32,229
Yaah!
300
00:13:47,661 --> 00:13:49,538
He means it.
301
00:13:49,580 --> 00:13:50,747
I know him.
302
00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:02,509
What do we do if they don't
bring the girl out?
303
00:14:02,551 --> 00:14:04,678
We go to the
Russian front.
304
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:06,013
Wish they'd hurry up, then.
305
00:14:06,054 --> 00:14:08,932
Got to get the motorcycle
back to the pool.
306
00:14:08,932 --> 00:14:09,933
Watch it.
307
00:14:09,933 --> 00:14:10,601
( clears throat )
308
00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:13,270
Where are you taking me?
309
00:14:13,312 --> 00:14:14,438
Silence.
310
00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:15,772
The girl,
Herr General.
311
00:14:15,814 --> 00:14:17,441
Very good.
312
00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:19,568
You made it with 40
seconds to spare.
313
00:14:19,610 --> 00:14:21,236
General.
314
00:14:22,863 --> 00:14:24,114
Uh-huh. Ah...
315
00:14:24,156 --> 00:14:26,450
Danke, Putzi.
316
00:14:26,491 --> 00:14:28,076
The girl.
317
00:14:28,118 --> 00:14:29,369
Fraulein?
318
00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:34,917
I wish to question the girl,
319
00:14:34,958 --> 00:14:37,294
and we may as well
be comfortable.
320
00:14:37,294 --> 00:14:38,086
HOGAN:
Heil Hitler.
321
00:14:38,128 --> 00:14:38,962
Heil Hitler.Heil Hitler.
322
00:14:57,981 --> 00:14:59,316
They change the dogs
323
00:14:59,316 --> 00:15:01,735
so they won't get too friendly
with the prisoners.
324
00:15:01,777 --> 00:15:03,403
( barking quietly )
325
00:15:08,617 --> 00:15:10,160
Are they dangerous?
326
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:11,620
Oh, only to the Germans.
327
00:15:11,662 --> 00:15:12,830
Au revoir.
328
00:15:12,830 --> 00:15:13,372
Au revoir.
329
00:15:15,499 --> 00:15:16,500
Merci, huh?
330
00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:19,378
Merci beaucoup.
331
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,213
Enough already.
332
00:15:21,505 --> 00:15:22,172
Au revoir.
333
00:15:37,354 --> 00:15:39,231
Papa!
334
00:15:39,273 --> 00:15:40,315
Marie.
335
00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:43,068
Oh...
Marie...
336
00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:44,486
Pardon me?
337
00:15:44,528 --> 00:15:45,612
We've only
got 24 hours
338
00:15:45,654 --> 00:15:47,656
to make contact with
that British sub.
339
00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:49,032
We got to
get cracking.
340
00:15:49,074 --> 00:15:50,325
Cracking?
341
00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:52,911
Uh, follow me, uh,
s'il vous plaît.
342
00:15:52,953 --> 00:15:55,372
Oui. Allez,Marie, allez.
343
00:15:55,414 --> 00:15:56,874
OFFICER:
Mama Bear to Goldilocks.
344
00:15:56,915 --> 00:15:58,542
Mama Bear to Goldilocks.
345
00:15:58,542 --> 00:15:59,918
Confirming.
346
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:02,671
Will pick up two packages--
one large, one small--
347
00:16:02,713 --> 00:16:05,799
at point Y-14 in 24 hours.
348
00:16:05,841 --> 00:16:08,010
Over and out.
349
00:16:08,051 --> 00:16:09,178
Escaped?!
350
00:16:09,219 --> 00:16:10,554
DuBois escaped?!
351
00:16:10,554 --> 00:16:12,181
Yes, sir.
LeBeau went to his laboratory
352
00:16:12,222 --> 00:16:14,099
a couple of
minutes ago, and DuBois was gone.
353
00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:15,559
I hate to get you
out of bed, sir.
354
00:16:15,601 --> 00:16:16,852
Gee, this is a
beautiful robe.
355
00:16:16,894 --> 00:16:18,187
Oh, danke.
356
00:16:18,228 --> 00:16:19,313
This is impossible.
357
00:16:19,354 --> 00:16:20,564
No one escapes
from Stalag 13.
358
00:16:20,606 --> 00:16:21,773
Yeah, looks like
359
00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:23,525
you got a first
on your hands, sir.
360
00:16:23,567 --> 00:16:25,277
You know something
about this, cockroach?
361
00:16:25,319 --> 00:16:26,737
Oh, come on. If
he helped DuBois
362
00:16:26,778 --> 00:16:28,572
to escape, would he
tell you anything?
363
00:16:28,614 --> 00:16:29,740
Perhaps not.
364
00:16:29,740 --> 00:16:31,658
Oh, this is terrible, terrible.
365
00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:33,118
I know how you
must feel, sir.
366
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:34,661
No, you don't.
367
00:16:36,121 --> 00:16:37,706
KLINK:
I have been informed by Berlin
368
00:16:37,748 --> 00:16:39,666
that a Professor
Altman is coming here tomorrow
369
00:16:39,708 --> 00:16:40,667
to meet
with DuBois
370
00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:41,919
and check on
the experiments!
371
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:44,087
There is no DuBois,
and they will hold me
372
00:16:44,087 --> 00:16:45,881
personally
responsible for this.
373
00:16:45,923 --> 00:16:48,509
Yes, sir, they can be mean
when they want to.
374
00:16:48,550 --> 00:16:50,511
I must find DuBois at once.
375
00:16:50,552 --> 00:16:52,596
Now, we will search
this countryside
376
00:16:52,763 --> 00:16:54,723
inch by inch tonight.
377
00:16:54,765 --> 00:16:55,891
We need 24 hours.
378
00:16:55,933 --> 00:16:57,142
KLINK:
What?!
379
00:16:57,184 --> 00:16:59,144
He means we'll be glad
to join in the search,
380
00:16:59,186 --> 00:17:01,730
but we'll never find DuBois
in time to meet Altman.
381
00:17:01,772 --> 00:17:03,148
Hmm... in that case,
382
00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:04,733
I am finished.
383
00:17:04,775 --> 00:17:06,610
I have a suggestion,
Colonel.
384
00:17:08,362 --> 00:17:10,447
We have to stall
for time, right?
385
00:17:10,489 --> 00:17:14,076
Now, Altman has never
met DuBois.
386
00:17:14,117 --> 00:17:16,620
Why not have LeBeau
stand in for him?
387
00:17:21,416 --> 00:17:23,168
Can you do it, cockroach?
388
00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:24,586
Well, he's been
working with him.
389
00:17:24,628 --> 00:17:25,838
He knows all
the experiments.
390
00:17:25,879 --> 00:17:28,423
I do? Oh, yes, sir, I do.
391
00:17:28,465 --> 00:17:30,133
All right,
I have no other choice.
392
00:17:30,175 --> 00:17:31,343
But if anything goes wrong,
393
00:17:31,385 --> 00:17:33,595
I will hold you personally
responsible,
394
00:17:33,637 --> 00:17:34,972
and you will take
the consequences.
395
00:17:35,013 --> 00:17:36,223
Yes, sir.
396
00:17:36,265 --> 00:17:37,599
You heard him.
397
00:17:37,641 --> 00:17:39,476
He's going to hold me
personally responsible,
398
00:17:39,518 --> 00:17:40,769
and if anything
goes wrong...
399
00:17:40,811 --> 00:17:42,229
I will take the consequences.
400
00:17:44,314 --> 00:17:46,817
HOGAN:
Didn't you learn anything from DuBois?
401
00:17:46,817 --> 00:17:50,988
Well, most of the time,
we just made crêpes suzettes.
402
00:17:50,988 --> 00:17:52,447
We've got to stall long enough
403
00:17:52,489 --> 00:17:54,783
for DuBois and the girl
to get started for England.
404
00:17:54,825 --> 00:17:57,161
Carter, you know chemistry.
405
00:17:57,202 --> 00:17:58,453
I know what?
406
00:17:58,495 --> 00:17:59,663
Well, you ran
a chemist shop.
407
00:17:59,663 --> 00:18:00,831
Well, I ran a drugstore.
408
00:18:00,831 --> 00:18:02,166
I ran a drugstore
in Muncie, Indiana.
409
00:18:02,166 --> 00:18:03,667
All right.
410
00:18:03,709 --> 00:18:05,419
I want you to teach
LeBeau some chemistry
411
00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:06,503
by 9:00
tomorrow morning.
412
00:18:06,545 --> 00:18:07,754
Some words and
phrases and stuff.
413
00:18:07,796 --> 00:18:08,922
I can't.
414
00:18:08,964 --> 00:18:10,382
Look, you're wasting
time, Carter.
415
00:18:10,424 --> 00:18:11,842
We got about six-
and-a-half hours,
416
00:18:11,842 --> 00:18:12,968
and a lot
depends on this.
417
00:18:13,010 --> 00:18:14,386
I can't teach him any chemistry.
418
00:18:14,428 --> 00:18:15,679
Why not?
419
00:18:15,679 --> 00:18:17,764
Look, Colonel,
I ran a drugstore.
420
00:18:17,806 --> 00:18:21,310
You know, like candy,
uh, cigarettes, cosmetics,
421
00:18:21,351 --> 00:18:23,520
liquor, beach chairs...
422
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:26,023
You know, a drugstore.
423
00:18:26,064 --> 00:18:28,025
Wait a minute, I got this.
424
00:18:28,025 --> 00:18:30,194
Maybe he can look through this
and find something.
425
00:18:30,194 --> 00:18:32,237
Handbook of Pharmacy, huh?
426
00:18:32,279 --> 00:18:34,072
Yeah, I've been carrying it
for two years.
427
00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:35,908
I'm going to take the exam
when I get home.
428
00:18:35,949 --> 00:18:37,701
Oh, swell.
429
00:18:37,743 --> 00:18:39,453
Start reading.
430
00:18:43,624 --> 00:18:45,626
Professor DuBois,
431
00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:47,044
I have the honor to present
432
00:18:47,085 --> 00:18:50,088
Professor
Altman and Captain Krug.
433
00:18:51,048 --> 00:18:52,257
Professor DuBois,
434
00:18:52,299 --> 00:18:54,009
I have heard a great
deal about you.
435
00:18:54,051 --> 00:18:57,137
I trust your experiments
justify your reputation.
436
00:18:57,179 --> 00:18:59,556
So do I.
437
00:18:59,556 --> 00:19:01,725
Berlin is expecting progress.
438
00:19:01,767 --> 00:19:05,103
It would be unfortunate
if they are disappointed.
439
00:19:05,145 --> 00:19:06,563
( weak chuckle )
440
00:19:06,605 --> 00:19:09,566
Well, I shall leave you two
great friends together.
441
00:19:09,566 --> 00:19:10,776
( chuckling )
442
00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:11,693
Good luck.
443
00:19:16,740 --> 00:19:19,535
Uh, sit down,
gentlemen, please.
444
00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:24,623
Now, uh, before
we begin,
445
00:19:24,665 --> 00:19:26,500
I-I would like
you to meet my assistant.
446
00:19:26,542 --> 00:19:27,793
This is my
assistant,
447
00:19:27,835 --> 00:19:29,002
Monsieur LeBeau.
448
00:19:29,044 --> 00:19:30,504
Bonjour.
449
00:19:30,546 --> 00:19:32,214
We have a saying in France.
450
00:19:32,256 --> 00:19:34,675
A little refreshment
makes the job easier.
451
00:19:34,716 --> 00:19:37,594
It's only a saying.
452
00:19:37,594 --> 00:19:38,762
A votre santé.
453
00:19:38,762 --> 00:19:39,930
Prosit.
454
00:19:39,930 --> 00:19:41,056
Prosit.
455
00:19:42,891 --> 00:19:45,060
Now, as you
know, gentlemen,
456
00:19:45,102 --> 00:19:46,520
the problem
has been
457
00:19:46,562 --> 00:19:49,314
to produce a workable
synthetic fuel.
458
00:19:49,356 --> 00:19:50,440
( chuckles )
459
00:19:50,482 --> 00:19:51,608
That's a problem
460
00:19:51,650 --> 00:19:54,611
that has been
stopping us for years.
461
00:19:54,653 --> 00:19:57,447
In preparing,
uh, an emulsion,
462
00:19:57,447 --> 00:19:59,616
uh, careful measurement
463
00:19:59,658 --> 00:20:02,536
of quantities used
is most important.
464
00:20:02,578 --> 00:20:04,830
An emulsion?
465
00:20:04,872 --> 00:20:06,748
An emulsion!
466
00:20:06,790 --> 00:20:09,793
Oh, we have never approached
the problem from that angle.
467
00:20:09,835 --> 00:20:13,213
ALTMAN:
Brilliant conception, and so simple.
468
00:20:13,255 --> 00:20:14,464
Merci.
469
00:20:14,506 --> 00:20:16,800
Tell me, Professor,
did you use positive
470
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:19,136
or negative ions
in the processing?
471
00:20:19,136 --> 00:20:21,346
What a question.
472
00:20:21,388 --> 00:20:22,890
Forgive me,
Professor,
473
00:20:22,931 --> 00:20:25,809
but don't they
teach you fellows anything in Berlin?
474
00:20:25,851 --> 00:20:28,812
I beg your pardon,
Professor DuBois.
475
00:20:28,812 --> 00:20:31,231
Obviously, he's
way ahead of us.
476
00:20:31,273 --> 00:20:32,649
As I was saying,
477
00:20:32,649 --> 00:20:34,526
in preparing
an emulsion,
478
00:20:34,568 --> 00:20:36,445
the steps are
as follows.
479
00:20:36,486 --> 00:20:38,697
Number one: Select components
480
00:20:38,739 --> 00:20:42,159
as listed by doctor
in prescription?
481
00:20:42,159 --> 00:20:43,327
Doctor?
482
00:20:43,368 --> 00:20:44,703
Prescription?
483
00:20:44,745 --> 00:20:46,997
Uh, oh, I am also an M.D.,
484
00:20:47,039 --> 00:20:49,166
and it's easier for me
to think in those terms.
485
00:20:51,126 --> 00:20:52,544
Number two:
486
00:20:52,586 --> 00:20:54,630
After selecting
components,
487
00:20:54,671 --> 00:20:57,049
make accurate
measurements.
488
00:20:57,090 --> 00:20:59,510
Number three: Select
489
00:20:59,551 --> 00:21:02,846
vessel in which mixing process
will be made.
490
00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:08,602
And number four: Uh...
491
00:21:08,644 --> 00:21:10,562
wash hands before beginning.
492
00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:14,399
( faucet running )
493
00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:15,651
The good ones--
494
00:21:15,692 --> 00:21:18,237
they are always
so sanitary.
495
00:21:18,278 --> 00:21:19,530
Ja, ja, ja.
496
00:21:19,530 --> 00:21:22,074
Goldilocks to Mama Bear,
Goldilocks to Mama Bear.
497
00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:23,784
Advise without delay
498
00:21:23,826 --> 00:21:25,661
when two packages
are picked up.
499
00:21:25,702 --> 00:21:27,913
But only, do-do
you mean to tell me
500
00:21:27,955 --> 00:21:29,623
that you have
actually been able
501
00:21:29,665 --> 00:21:31,917
to mix these
two substances?
502
00:21:31,959 --> 00:21:34,002
That's right, Hans.
503
00:21:34,044 --> 00:21:37,756
Cynogenic acid
and Palmer's alkali.
504
00:21:37,798 --> 00:21:39,758
Wunderbar.
505
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:41,051
But my dear boy,
506
00:21:41,093 --> 00:21:42,594
I-I find it
difficult to believe
507
00:21:42,636 --> 00:21:44,721
that these two could
act as a catalyst.
508
00:21:44,721 --> 00:21:47,140
Oh, not only
as a catalyst, but...
509
00:21:48,475 --> 00:21:52,312
the mixture also relieves
nasal congestion?
510
00:21:52,354 --> 00:21:54,398
Wunderbar!
511
00:21:54,398 --> 00:21:56,984
It's a ruddy miracle.
512
00:21:58,026 --> 00:22:00,070
Ja, ja, ja, ja.
513
00:22:00,112 --> 00:22:02,531
OFFICER:
Mama Bear to Goldilocks, Mama Bear to Goldilocks.
514
00:22:02,573 --> 00:22:04,324
Have picked up two packages--
515
00:22:04,366 --> 00:22:06,118
one large, one small--
as arranged.
516
00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:07,035
Will now proceed to post office.
517
00:22:07,077 --> 00:22:08,620
Over and out.
518
00:22:08,662 --> 00:22:09,746
That's it.
519
00:22:09,746 --> 00:22:11,248
They've picked up DuBois
and his daughter.
520
00:22:11,248 --> 00:22:12,082
Carter, get going.
Right.
521
00:22:13,625 --> 00:22:15,085
Frankly, mon ami,
522
00:22:15,085 --> 00:22:17,671
I-I was a little worried
about the catalytic factor,
523
00:22:17,713 --> 00:22:19,506
but... you say it works.
524
00:22:19,548 --> 00:22:20,883
Yes, Liebchen,
525
00:22:20,924 --> 00:22:24,720
and also breaks up
nasal congestion.
526
00:22:24,761 --> 00:22:28,307
Ah, he is ein genius.
527
00:22:28,348 --> 00:22:32,477
Oh, you've saved us hundreds
of hours of testing.
528
00:22:32,519 --> 00:22:33,979
I think.
529
00:22:34,021 --> 00:22:35,898
Professor DuBois...
530
00:22:35,939 --> 00:22:37,608
How dare you enter
this laboratory!
531
00:22:37,608 --> 00:22:39,484
Don't you know we have
a conference going on?!
532
00:22:39,526 --> 00:22:40,777
I'm sorry, sir.
533
00:22:40,777 --> 00:22:42,279
I, uh, just wanted
to let you know
534
00:22:42,321 --> 00:22:44,823
that two packages
have arrived safely.
535
00:22:44,865 --> 00:22:46,617
And not a minute too soon.
536
00:22:46,617 --> 00:22:47,993
New chemicals
we ordered.
537
00:22:48,035 --> 00:22:49,203
Oh, yeah.
538
00:22:49,244 --> 00:22:50,496
Uh, we must no longer
keep you
539
00:22:50,537 --> 00:22:51,371
from your experiments.
540
00:22:51,413 --> 00:22:52,623
Uh, Captain,
541
00:22:52,623 --> 00:22:53,916
we are going.
542
00:22:53,957 --> 00:22:55,125
Ja, ja, ja, ja.
543
00:22:55,167 --> 00:22:56,710
Oh, thank you.
Ja, ja.
544
00:22:56,752 --> 00:22:58,921
Danke schon, Herr Professor,
and I can see
545
00:22:58,962 --> 00:23:01,423
that everything here
is going nicely.
546
00:23:01,465 --> 00:23:03,717
Uh, indeed, it is.
547
00:23:03,759 --> 00:23:04,885
And we'll be
back tomorrow
548
00:23:04,927 --> 00:23:06,011
for some more
refreshments.
549
00:23:06,053 --> 00:23:08,263
Ah! I mean,
information.
550
00:23:08,305 --> 00:23:09,515
And you can
demonstrate
551
00:23:09,556 --> 00:23:11,183
for us your new
process, huh?
552
00:23:11,225 --> 00:23:12,726
Ja? Ja.
553
00:23:12,768 --> 00:23:13,644
Auf Wiedersehen.
554
00:23:13,644 --> 00:23:14,978
Wiedersehen.
555
00:23:15,145 --> 00:23:16,647
Auf Wiedersehen.
556
00:23:16,647 --> 00:23:17,981
ALTMAN:
Auf Wiedersehen.
557
00:23:18,023 --> 00:23:19,399
You brought it off!
558
00:23:19,441 --> 00:23:20,776
You were smashing!
559
00:23:20,817 --> 00:23:22,778
And that's how
you feel, huh?
560
00:23:22,819 --> 00:23:24,446
( laughs )
Oh...
561
00:23:24,488 --> 00:23:26,114
ALTMAN:
Uh, Professor DuBois,
562
00:23:26,156 --> 00:23:27,616
one more thing.
563
00:23:27,658 --> 00:23:28,951
A favor.
564
00:23:28,992 --> 00:23:31,119
If you have any more
of that emulsion left,
565
00:23:31,161 --> 00:23:33,497
would you be so kind
as to save it for me?
566
00:23:33,539 --> 00:23:34,790
Yes, but...
567
00:23:34,832 --> 00:23:37,084
I have a little
nasal congestion.
568
00:23:37,125 --> 00:23:38,126
( sniffles )
569
00:23:38,168 --> 00:23:39,336
Auf Wiedersehen.
570
00:23:39,336 --> 00:23:40,546
LeBEAU:
Auf Wiedersehen.
571
00:23:40,587 --> 00:23:41,839
NEWKIRK:
Auf Wiedersehen.
572
00:23:41,839 --> 00:23:43,799
You know something?
573
00:23:43,841 --> 00:23:45,050
It's a crazy war.
574
00:23:58,021 --> 00:23:59,356
All right, all right.
575
00:23:59,398 --> 00:24:00,858
We got away with
it, as you say,
576
00:24:00,858 --> 00:24:02,526
but I still haven't
found DuBois,
577
00:24:02,526 --> 00:24:03,944
and Altman will
be here tomorrow
578
00:24:03,986 --> 00:24:06,238
for another inspection
and a demonstration.
579
00:24:16,123 --> 00:24:17,666
Colonel, you worry too much.
580
00:24:17,708 --> 00:24:19,042
I worry?
581
00:24:19,042 --> 00:24:20,210
Your life is easy.
582
00:24:20,210 --> 00:24:21,503
You're only a
prisoner of war.
583
00:24:21,545 --> 00:24:23,630
No problem whatsoever.
584
00:24:23,672 --> 00:24:25,340
As Professor DuBois was killed
585
00:24:25,382 --> 00:24:27,843
in an explosion
in his laboratory.
586
00:24:27,885 --> 00:24:29,845
Well, in that
case, you are...
587
00:24:29,887 --> 00:24:31,889
Killed in his
laboratory? When?
588
00:24:31,889 --> 00:24:34,391
Five, four,
589
00:24:34,391 --> 00:24:36,977
three, two, one.
590
00:24:37,019 --> 00:24:39,062
( loud explosion )
591
00:24:41,732 --> 00:24:43,400
Any questions?
592
00:24:43,450 --> 00:24:48,000
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