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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,000 Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:08,074 --> 00:00:09,241 Oh, hey. 3 00:00:09,243 --> 00:00:10,943 You guys wanna hear a joke? 4 00:00:10,945 --> 00:00:12,511 All: No! 5 00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,147 Why not? 6 00:00:15,149 --> 00:00:16,982 Because they're never good. 7 00:00:16,984 --> 00:00:19,985 Dad, your mouth is where jokes go to die. 8 00:00:20,954 --> 00:00:22,554 I can be funny. 9 00:00:22,556 --> 00:00:24,656 It's funny watching you try to tell a joke. 10 00:00:26,292 --> 00:00:29,128 See, now that's funny. 11 00:00:29,130 --> 00:00:32,231 Honey, why don't you just wait and tell your joke at lunch? 12 00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:33,766 But I have lunch at work. 13 00:00:33,768 --> 00:00:35,167 Uh-huh. 14 00:00:36,269 --> 00:00:38,804 You know what? You guys are gonna like this one. 15 00:00:38,806 --> 00:00:42,274 So, guy walks into a store with a frog on a leash... 16 00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:43,709 No no no! 17 00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:45,844 Sorry. Frog's on his head. 18 00:00:46,946 --> 00:00:49,281 So anyway, the frog says... 19 00:00:49,283 --> 00:00:50,949 (Sighs) 20 00:00:50,951 --> 00:00:52,885 Ah, you shouldn't know the frog talks yet. 21 00:00:52,887 --> 00:00:55,020 So, let's just forget I said that, okay? 22 00:00:55,022 --> 00:00:56,855 The store owner says... 23 00:00:56,857 --> 00:00:58,724 And it doesn't have to be the store owner, 24 00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:00,659 could just be a guy who works there. (All groan) 25 00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:01,860 - Okay okay. - Or a girl, whatever. 26 00:01:01,862 --> 00:01:03,595 You know what, guys? In the interest of time, 27 00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:04,930 let's just laugh now and get it over with. 28 00:01:04,932 --> 00:01:07,099 - Okay. Go. - (All laugh loudly) 29 00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:09,034 Ohh! 30 00:01:09,036 --> 00:01:10,235 - Good one, dad. - No no, wait. 31 00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:11,703 Wait a minute. I'm not done yet. 32 00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:12,771 - No, but we are. - Yeah. 33 00:01:20,346 --> 00:01:23,115 Well, you wanna hear the joke, right, Charlie? 34 00:01:23,117 --> 00:01:24,583 Sure, daddy. 35 00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:27,586 Okay, so... 36 00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:29,121 Guy walks into a store with a frog... 37 00:01:30,256 --> 00:01:32,124 (groans) Wait a minute. 38 00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:34,860 It's not a frog. It's a parrot. 39 00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:36,962 (Laughs) 40 00:01:36,964 --> 00:01:37,963 Parrots are funny. 41 00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:39,198 (Laughing) Yeah. 42 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:41,867 Yeah. Okay. But there's more to the joke. 43 00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:43,202 It doesn't end on "parrot." 44 00:01:43,204 --> 00:01:45,337 (Giggles) You said it again. 45 00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:48,273 (Rock music playing) 46 00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:50,075 Today's all burnt toast 47 00:01:50,077 --> 00:01:51,844 running late and dad jokes 48 00:01:51,846 --> 00:01:54,680 "has anybody seen my left shoe?" 49 00:01:54,682 --> 00:01:56,381 I close my eyes, take a bite 50 00:01:56,383 --> 00:01:58,183 grab a ride, laugh out loud 51 00:01:58,185 --> 00:02:00,319 there it is up on the roof 52 00:02:01,454 --> 00:02:04,756 I've been there, I survived 53 00:02:04,758 --> 00:02:07,926 so just take my advice 54 00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:09,928 hang in there, baby 55 00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:11,630 things are crazy 56 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:14,299 but I know your future's bright 57 00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:16,335 hang in there, baby 58 00:02:16,337 --> 00:02:17,936 there's no maybe 59 00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:20,873 everything turns out all right 60 00:02:20,875 --> 00:02:23,108 sure life is up and down 61 00:02:23,110 --> 00:02:26,945 but trust me, it comes back around 62 00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:30,949 you're gonna love who you turn out to be 63 00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:34,887 hang in there, baby. 64 00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:44,296 (squeals) It's here, it's here! 65 00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:45,764 What is? 66 00:02:45,766 --> 00:02:46,932 The email from Yale. 67 00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:48,433 I'm about to find out if I got in. 68 00:02:48,435 --> 00:02:50,302 Open it! What are you waiting for? 69 00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:52,137 I can't. I'm too nervous. 70 00:02:52,139 --> 00:02:53,839 Yale is my dream school. 71 00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:57,242 The next ten seconds are gonna decide the course of my entire life. 72 00:02:57,244 --> 00:02:59,244 Okay. Easy now, honey. 73 00:02:59,246 --> 00:03:01,380 Nobody likes a drama queen. 74 00:03:05,251 --> 00:03:07,219 What are you looking at me for? 75 00:03:10,790 --> 00:03:13,759 Okay. Dad, here, you read it. 76 00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:15,928 I'll be able to tell by your expression. 77 00:03:15,930 --> 00:03:17,129 (Deeply exhales) 78 00:03:17,131 --> 00:03:18,897 (Key clicks) 79 00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:21,300 Uh-oh. 80 00:03:21,302 --> 00:03:22,768 I didn't get in? 81 00:03:22,770 --> 00:03:24,303 No, I sent it to trash. 82 00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:28,874 Hey, how do I get this back? "Empty trash." 83 00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:30,175 No! 84 00:03:30,177 --> 00:03:32,244 Gosh. I'll do it. 85 00:03:33,413 --> 00:03:35,280 (Sighing) Okay. 86 00:03:35,282 --> 00:03:37,149 Here goes. 87 00:03:37,151 --> 00:03:38,350 (Key clicks) 88 00:03:40,086 --> 00:03:41,787 Huh. 89 00:03:41,789 --> 00:03:43,188 I'm on the wait list. 90 00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:46,091 Well, that's good. 91 00:03:46,093 --> 00:03:48,126 You still have a chance to get in. 92 00:03:48,128 --> 00:03:49,861 You just have to wait for a spot to open up. 93 00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:52,231 Well, yeah, but what are the odds of that? 94 00:03:52,233 --> 00:03:54,233 Honey, look, it's out of your hands. 95 00:03:54,235 --> 00:03:58,203 Okay, so until you hear otherwise, you just have to do what I do. 96 00:03:58,205 --> 00:04:01,473 Just relax and go with the flow. 97 00:04:05,778 --> 00:04:07,379 You're looking at me again. 98 00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:21,927 What is that? 99 00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:25,764 Which I bought with my graduation money from grandpa. 100 00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:28,166 - You didn't graduate. - Grandpa doesn't know that. 101 00:04:29,235 --> 00:04:30,869 Gabe, we talked about this. 102 00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:33,205 I specifically said you could not get one of these things. 103 00:04:33,207 --> 00:04:34,973 You said I couldn't have a dirt bike. 104 00:04:34,975 --> 00:04:36,441 This is an electric scooter. 105 00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:38,510 It's what kids with dirt bikes make fun of. 106 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:43,315 Well, whatever it is, it doesn't look very safe. 107 00:04:43,317 --> 00:04:46,985 Listen, before you decide anything, how about you just take it for a spin? 108 00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:48,887 Then you can see how tame it is. 109 00:04:48,889 --> 00:04:50,222 Whoo-hoo! 110 00:04:50,224 --> 00:04:52,291 Aww, yeah! 111 00:04:52,293 --> 00:04:54,126 Fun, huh? So can I keep it? 112 00:04:54,128 --> 00:04:56,461 Don't know. Not done testing it yet. 113 00:04:57,430 --> 00:04:58,897 Whoo-hoo! 114 00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:00,132 Aw, yeah! 115 00:05:06,205 --> 00:05:08,140 Okay, Charlie, let's go. 116 00:05:08,142 --> 00:05:09,474 Hello, Mr. Duncan. 117 00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:11,109 Hello, teacher lily. 118 00:05:11,111 --> 00:05:12,944 I wanted to show you something Charlie wrote about you. 119 00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:14,112 - It's on the "mommy daddy" wall. - (Bob sighs) 120 00:05:14,114 --> 00:05:16,214 Let me apologize in advance. 121 00:05:16,216 --> 00:05:17,516 No. 122 00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:19,117 It's good this time. 123 00:05:23,289 --> 00:05:24,890 Here's Charlie's. 124 00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:27,893 "My daddy tells funny jokes." 125 00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:32,097 well, at least somebody appreciates me. 126 00:05:32,099 --> 00:05:33,899 Thank you, Charlie. 127 00:05:33,901 --> 00:05:35,467 You're welcome, daddy. 128 00:05:35,469 --> 00:05:39,004 Since you're coming in for circle time tomorrow anyway, 129 00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:40,839 how about telling the kids a couple of jokes? 130 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:42,007 Oh, I... (Exhales) 131 00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:43,308 (Stammering) I don't know. 132 00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:46,078 Sometimes I get a little rattled. 133 00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:47,913 Mr. Duncan, they're four-year-olds. 134 00:05:47,915 --> 00:05:50,048 You're not hosting the oscars. 135 00:05:52,051 --> 00:05:53,585 Please, daddy. 136 00:05:54,921 --> 00:05:57,389 Um... 137 00:05:57,391 --> 00:05:59,558 Well, I guess I could tell a few jokes. 138 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,360 I mean, how hard could that be? 139 00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:03,061 Tell the one about the parrot. 140 00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:04,930 It's so funny. 141 00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:12,938 Oh, hey, Victor, if you're not busy tomorrow night... 142 00:06:12,940 --> 00:06:14,339 and, uh, I'm assuming you're not... 143 00:06:14,341 --> 00:06:16,174 Hey! 144 00:06:17,343 --> 00:06:19,277 Oh. I'm sorry. Are you busy? 145 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:20,312 No. 146 00:06:21,348 --> 00:06:25,650 Well, I could use some help with the senior prank. 147 00:06:25,652 --> 00:06:27,319 A prank? 148 00:06:27,321 --> 00:06:29,488 I don't know. That sounds like hijinks. 149 00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:31,223 Which borders on shenanigans. 150 00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:36,161 And from there it's a slippery slope into tomfoolery. 151 00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:40,365 And you wonder why you're never busy. 152 00:06:41,467 --> 00:06:43,135 Look, I don't wanna get into any trouble. 153 00:06:43,137 --> 00:06:45,137 - I have too much at stake. - (Deeply exhales) 154 00:06:45,139 --> 00:06:47,372 I was just accepted at Yale. 155 00:06:47,374 --> 00:06:49,674 Hey! Congratulations. 156 00:06:49,676 --> 00:06:51,910 I was just wait-listed there. 157 00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:53,145 They didn't reject you? 158 00:06:54,514 --> 00:06:56,181 Now I feel less good about getting in. 159 00:06:56,183 --> 00:06:57,349 (Chuckles) 160 00:06:57,351 --> 00:06:59,050 Thanks. 161 00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:01,486 I'm sorry I didn't get in too. 162 00:07:03,523 --> 00:07:06,591 So, uh... Are you gonna go? 163 00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:09,194 Well, it's between Harvard and Yale. 164 00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:11,329 Well, you are clearly a Harvard man. 165 00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:13,331 I mean, Yale is so "ehh" 166 00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:16,134 and you're so "whoa!" (Laughs nervously) 167 00:07:17,303 --> 00:07:19,171 Teddy, I know what you're doing. 168 00:07:19,173 --> 00:07:22,174 You're trying to talk me out of Yale so that it opens up a spot for you. 169 00:07:22,176 --> 00:07:24,242 That's good Harvard thinking right there. 170 00:07:25,311 --> 00:07:26,545 It's not gonna work. 171 00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:29,514 Well, will you help me with the senior prank? 172 00:07:29,516 --> 00:07:31,450 Ivy was gonna do it, but she's sick. 173 00:07:31,452 --> 00:07:33,618 Okay. Why not? 174 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:36,188 But I will not participate in any malarkey or monkeyshines. 175 00:07:38,090 --> 00:07:39,691 Those are some big words. 176 00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:41,193 I could have also gone with "poppycock" 177 00:07:41,195 --> 00:07:42,494 or "balderdash." 178 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:46,231 Okay, we get it. You got into Yale. 179 00:08:00,713 --> 00:08:02,380 Going somewhere? 180 00:08:03,549 --> 00:08:05,250 You forgot your lunch. 181 00:08:06,285 --> 00:08:07,285 Got it right here. 182 00:08:07,287 --> 00:08:08,420 You forgot your homework. 183 00:08:08,422 --> 00:08:10,021 I don't do my homework. 184 00:08:11,257 --> 00:08:14,392 Well, you should. And as punishment, I'm gonna ride your scooter. 185 00:08:14,394 --> 00:08:17,095 - No, you're not. - Why? 186 00:08:17,097 --> 00:08:18,663 Why won't you share with me? 187 00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:21,500 Because, mom, it's bad enough I have a scooter, 188 00:08:21,502 --> 00:08:23,668 but a scooter that I share with my mom? 189 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,403 I'd beat myself up. 190 00:08:27,473 --> 00:08:28,473 Fine. 191 00:08:28,475 --> 00:08:30,141 I won't ride it anymore. 192 00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:32,277 Good. Thank you. 193 00:08:32,279 --> 00:08:33,411 (Sighs deeply) 194 00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:34,479 (Garage door rumbling, creaking) 195 00:08:38,284 --> 00:08:40,352 - (Garage door closes) - (Mouthing) 196 00:08:49,662 --> 00:08:51,229 I can do this all day. 197 00:08:52,164 --> 00:08:54,065 (Garage door closing) 198 00:08:58,070 --> 00:09:00,472 So you're telling jokes at Charlie's preschool? 199 00:09:00,474 --> 00:09:01,540 Yeah. 200 00:09:01,542 --> 00:09:02,641 Why? 201 00:09:02,643 --> 00:09:04,643 Isn't school hard enough on kids? 202 00:09:06,479 --> 00:09:09,314 Look, I just wanna practice some jokes on you. 203 00:09:09,316 --> 00:09:11,149 Just pretend you're four years old. 204 00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:12,384 Oh! Okay. 205 00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:15,720 All right... 206 00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:19,157 How do you make a tissue dance? 207 00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:22,193 You blow your nose in it! 208 00:09:23,663 --> 00:09:26,665 I think it goes "how do you make a tissue dance? 209 00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:29,501 Put a little boogie in it." 210 00:09:29,503 --> 00:09:31,503 That's what I said. 211 00:09:31,505 --> 00:09:34,105 I may be four, but that's not what you said. 212 00:09:35,508 --> 00:09:37,309 - Try another one. - All right. 213 00:09:37,311 --> 00:09:40,111 Oh! How do you make time fly? 214 00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:42,347 You throw it out the window! 215 00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:46,184 No. No. 216 00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:47,185 No. 217 00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:51,323 To make time fly, you throw a clock out the window. 218 00:09:52,525 --> 00:09:53,758 That's what I said. 219 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,627 Dad, you're not saying the crucial word. 220 00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:57,696 But I heard it inside my head. 221 00:09:59,665 --> 00:10:01,566 Did you hear me laughing inside your head? 222 00:10:03,469 --> 00:10:05,270 You're pretty harsh for a four-year-old. 223 00:10:06,505 --> 00:10:08,173 Dad, you know what you need? 224 00:10:08,175 --> 00:10:11,610 Then all you have to do is read the jokes. 225 00:10:11,612 --> 00:10:13,244 But isn't that cheating? 226 00:10:13,246 --> 00:10:15,246 Let me tell you something my school counselor 227 00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:17,382 once told me... (Sighs) 228 00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:19,517 "Cheating is your only hope." 229 00:10:25,157 --> 00:10:27,225 I wonder what principal Higgins is gonna say 230 00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:29,327 when he walks in and sees all this tomorrow. 231 00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:32,731 Probably something like, "that's a lot of sticky notes." 232 00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:36,568 And it'll all be worth it. 233 00:10:38,838 --> 00:10:41,239 This is really gonna get Ernie's goat. 234 00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:46,277 Well, he's given me so many awards over the years, we've become pretty close. 235 00:10:47,780 --> 00:10:50,148 Ahh! Paper cut. 236 00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:51,282 Ow. Oh! 237 00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:52,617 My mother was right. 238 00:10:52,619 --> 00:10:54,352 Mischief always has repercussions. 239 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,789 Calm down. It's just a little cut. 240 00:10:57,791 --> 00:10:59,791 I need first aid. Did you bring some? 241 00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:04,329 I didn't think it was necessary, given that we're dealing with paper. 242 00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:06,931 It hurts! Do something! 243 00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:09,300 Okay, fine. I have a bandage in my locker. 244 00:11:09,302 --> 00:11:10,769 I'll be right back. 245 00:11:10,771 --> 00:11:13,705 (Hyperventilating) 246 00:11:15,307 --> 00:11:16,374 Hey! 247 00:11:18,210 --> 00:11:19,277 What's going on here? 248 00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:20,311 I can explain. 249 00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:21,646 Let's go. 250 00:11:21,648 --> 00:11:22,847 Where are you taking me? 251 00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:24,215 To the movies. 252 00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:29,387 - (Chuckles) - You have the right to remain silent. 253 00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:31,189 Oh, don't worry. I never talk during the movies. 254 00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:32,257 (Chuckles) 255 00:11:36,228 --> 00:11:38,296 (Sighing) Okay, Victor. 256 00:11:39,331 --> 00:11:41,299 Victor? 257 00:11:41,301 --> 00:11:43,368 Maybe he left a note. 258 00:11:45,237 --> 00:11:46,705 This could take a while. 259 00:11:55,948 --> 00:11:57,215 (Pounding on door) 260 00:11:59,852 --> 00:12:01,619 There you are! What happened? 261 00:12:01,621 --> 00:12:02,787 Where did you go? 262 00:12:02,789 --> 00:12:04,923 Not to the movies. I'll tell you that. 263 00:12:06,959 --> 00:12:08,960 I got arrested. 264 00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:10,462 - What?! - That's right. 265 00:12:10,464 --> 00:12:12,997 Handcuffed, fingerprinted and had my mug shot taken. 266 00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:16,267 You ever been to jail, Teddy? 267 00:12:16,269 --> 00:12:18,336 Super adventure land jail. 268 00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:22,407 Denver county jail is a little different. 269 00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:23,541 It's an adventure. 270 00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:24,642 But it's not super! 271 00:12:26,812 --> 00:12:28,913 I have to go see the principal tomorrow. 272 00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:32,617 If he presses charges, my college admission could be rescinded. 273 00:12:32,619 --> 00:12:33,918 "Rescinded" means "taken away" 274 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,987 for those of you on the wait list. 275 00:12:38,390 --> 00:12:40,358 Victor, I'm so sorry. 276 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:41,659 Are you? (Scoffs) 277 00:12:41,661 --> 00:12:43,828 I mean, wasn't this all part of your big plan? 278 00:12:43,830 --> 00:12:44,896 What are you talking about? 279 00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:46,431 You set me up! 280 00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,266 First you talk me into doing the prank, 281 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:51,002 then you conveniently disappear just before the police arrived. 282 00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:54,973 So that my arrest would open up a spot for you at Yale. 283 00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:57,008 Okay, Victor, you're babbling. 284 00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:59,911 How much blood did you lose from that paper cut? 285 00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:03,114 Not enough to kill me, if that's what you were hoping for! 286 00:13:09,588 --> 00:13:11,022 Ba-bam! 287 00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:12,423 Oh, what's this? 288 00:13:12,425 --> 00:13:14,025 I got a scooter too. 289 00:13:14,027 --> 00:13:15,727 - Oh, that's great. - Yup! 290 00:13:15,729 --> 00:13:17,028 And now we can ride together. 291 00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:18,530 That's not so great. 292 00:13:19,732 --> 00:13:21,900 Mom, let me explain something to you. 293 00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:23,468 I'm in middle school. 294 00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:26,838 I can't be seen riding side-by-side with my mother. 295 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:29,674 Look, I bought this so that we could ride together. 296 00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:31,576 - We're gonna ride together. - No, we're not. 297 00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:32,777 - Yes, we are. - No, we're not. 298 00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:35,847 We can go back and forth all night about this, but the bottom line is 299 00:13:35,849 --> 00:13:36,948 we're going on a double scoot. 300 00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:40,752 Fine. 301 00:13:40,754 --> 00:13:44,022 We go to a neighborhood where nobody knows me, 302 00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:46,024 we scoot for no longer than 30 minutes 303 00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:49,594 and if at any point you tell me how cute I look, it's over. 304 00:13:50,596 --> 00:13:51,996 40 minutes and I get one "cute." 305 00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:54,399 35 minutes and you can pinch my cheek. 306 00:13:54,401 --> 00:13:55,934 - Deal. - (Grumbles) 307 00:14:06,078 --> 00:14:10,081 Teddy, we are so proud of you for graduating from Yale. 308 00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:11,916 Aww. Thanks, dad. 309 00:14:11,918 --> 00:14:15,353 But, um, why is it just you and Toby here? 310 00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,789 Oh, everybody else was busy in your mom's dream. 311 00:14:17,791 --> 00:14:21,926 Tonight she's starring in her one-woman Broadway show "ba-bamalot." 312 00:14:21,928 --> 00:14:23,094 (Doorbell rings) 313 00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:24,629 Hup, food's here. 314 00:14:24,631 --> 00:14:26,698 Oh. I'll get it. 315 00:14:30,936 --> 00:14:32,503 (Sadly) Pizza delivery. 316 00:14:34,506 --> 00:14:35,640 Victor? 317 00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:36,941 Hello, Teddy. 318 00:14:36,943 --> 00:14:37,942 What? 319 00:14:37,944 --> 00:14:38,943 You're delivering pizza now? 320 00:14:38,945 --> 00:14:40,478 Yes. 321 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,580 After my arrest, no college would take me. 322 00:14:42,582 --> 00:14:46,651 So instead of realizing my destiny of becoming a brilliant scientist, 323 00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:49,020 I work a dead-end job with no hope for the future. 324 00:14:51,423 --> 00:14:52,891 This is awkward. 325 00:14:52,893 --> 00:14:54,959 We didn't order pepperoni. 326 00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:00,064 My life is a disaster, Teddy. 327 00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:01,966 And it's all your fault. 328 00:15:01,968 --> 00:15:03,701 Fault fault... 329 00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:04,836 What are you doing? 330 00:15:05,804 --> 00:15:07,839 I thought the dream was over. 331 00:15:07,841 --> 00:15:11,509 No. I get to say when the dream is over... 332 00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:14,579 (Echoing) Over over over... 333 00:15:15,614 --> 00:15:17,015 (Gasps) 334 00:15:22,054 --> 00:15:24,756 Okay, dad, showtime. All you gotta do is read the cards. 335 00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:26,491 (Exhales) Got it. 336 00:15:26,493 --> 00:15:29,127 Okay, children, we have a real treat for you today. 337 00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:32,730 Let's welcome Charlie's daddy, Mr. Duncan. 338 00:15:35,134 --> 00:15:37,201 Ahh. 339 00:15:38,904 --> 00:15:41,072 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 340 00:15:41,074 --> 00:15:44,108 So, anybody here from outta town? 341 00:15:47,046 --> 00:15:49,147 Okay, now for a few jokes. 342 00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:52,150 Why did the chicken cross the road? 343 00:15:52,152 --> 00:15:55,153 To make time fly! 344 00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:05,863 Uh, what's black and white and red all over? 345 00:16:06,932 --> 00:16:09,801 To get to the other side. 346 00:16:13,238 --> 00:16:16,941 You know what? They don't get it because they don't know what a newspaper is. 347 00:16:16,943 --> 00:16:18,943 You didn't say "newspaper." 348 00:16:20,779 --> 00:16:22,613 Wrap it up. 349 00:16:22,615 --> 00:16:24,549 Um... 350 00:16:26,919 --> 00:16:29,053 Okay okay okay, look. 351 00:16:29,055 --> 00:16:32,690 The thing is I'm not very good at telling jokes. 352 00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:34,225 We know. 353 00:16:36,929 --> 00:16:39,097 Well... 354 00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:42,600 I guess the truth is some people just aren't funny. 355 00:16:42,602 --> 00:16:43,901 (Yelps) 356 00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:46,104 (Kids laughing) 357 00:16:49,942 --> 00:16:52,677 But I'm not one of those people! 358 00:16:54,747 --> 00:16:56,581 (Laughs) 359 00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:58,649 Told you he was funny. 360 00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:03,855 (School bell rings) 361 00:17:04,923 --> 00:17:06,958 So, what'd you wanna see me about, Ernie? 362 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:10,228 Uh-uh. Principal Higgins. 363 00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:12,830 I lost first-name privileges? 364 00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:14,132 Are we still on for jazz fest? 365 00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:16,000 No, we are not. 366 00:17:16,002 --> 00:17:18,703 Excuse me, principal Higgins. 367 00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:20,038 Sorry to interrupt. 368 00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:22,940 Look, the senior prank was my idea. 369 00:17:22,942 --> 00:17:26,277 Victor wanted nothing to do with it, but I forced him to help me. 370 00:17:26,279 --> 00:17:28,713 So if you're gonna punish anyone... 371 00:17:30,682 --> 00:17:31,749 Punish me. 372 00:17:32,751 --> 00:17:34,152 I'm okay with that. 373 00:17:36,321 --> 00:17:39,657 I am very disappointed in both of you. 374 00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:43,995 Two of my best students, and all you came up with was sticky notes? 375 00:17:43,997 --> 00:17:46,064 That's pathetic! 376 00:17:47,132 --> 00:17:48,332 So you're not going to press charges? 377 00:17:48,334 --> 00:17:50,601 For what? Lack of creativity? 378 00:17:52,004 --> 00:17:55,673 Next time you pull a prank, put a cow in my office 379 00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:57,075 or glue the furniture to the ceiling. 380 00:17:57,077 --> 00:17:59,677 Something! 381 00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:00,978 Now you're thinking, Ernie. 382 00:18:00,980 --> 00:18:02,213 Stop that. 383 00:18:02,215 --> 00:18:04,015 (Cellphone ringing) 384 00:18:04,883 --> 00:18:08,119 I gotta take this. Now, uh, clean all this up. 385 00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:14,092 Thank you, Teddy. 386 00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:15,593 You didn't have to do that. 387 00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,762 Victor, as much as I wanna go to Yale, 388 00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:20,765 I would never do anything to hurt your chances. 389 00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:22,767 I'm glad to hear you say that. 390 00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:24,268 Because I'm accepting their offer. 391 00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:25,970 You should. 392 00:18:25,972 --> 00:18:27,738 Yale is lucky to have you. 393 00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:28,906 Thanks. 394 00:18:28,908 --> 00:18:30,641 And I hope you end up getting in too. 395 00:18:32,010 --> 00:18:33,311 That... (Sighs) 396 00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:36,681 ...was the north high principal. 397 00:18:36,683 --> 00:18:38,249 You know what his seniors did to him? 398 00:18:38,251 --> 00:18:41,819 They took apart his car and reassembled it in his office! 399 00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:45,123 Now that's a prank! 400 00:18:45,125 --> 00:18:47,225 We're sorry, okay? 401 00:18:47,227 --> 00:18:48,626 What am I supposed to tell him? 402 00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:49,961 "Yeah, things are tough over here too. 403 00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:52,029 I got stickied." 404 00:18:52,031 --> 00:18:56,067 (Exhales) We could trash your office if you want. 405 00:18:57,202 --> 00:18:59,070 That's the least you could do. 406 00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:06,844 (Mimics brakes screeching) 407 00:19:06,846 --> 00:19:09,046 Whoo! This isn't so bad, is it? 408 00:19:10,115 --> 00:19:12,049 17 minutes and counting. 409 00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:15,953 All right. Stop the clock. 410 00:19:15,955 --> 00:19:17,889 I need to find a bathroom. 411 00:19:19,291 --> 00:19:21,759 Well well well. 412 00:19:21,761 --> 00:19:23,161 Gabe Duncan. 413 00:19:23,163 --> 00:19:26,063 Paul, what are you doing on this side of town? 414 00:19:26,065 --> 00:19:27,765 I get around. 415 00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:31,669 I guess the question is what are you doing? 416 00:19:32,437 --> 00:19:34,672 Oh, you know, just nothing. 417 00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,741 Hanging out. 418 00:19:37,976 --> 00:19:39,343 By myself. 419 00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:41,412 Hey, wanna see a cute pic? 420 00:19:43,115 --> 00:19:45,349 It's you and your mommy scooting together. 421 00:19:46,885 --> 00:19:50,988 You know, I think that a lot of people would like to see this. 422 00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:53,057 Oh, okay, let's just calm down for a second. 423 00:19:53,059 --> 00:19:55,059 "Post album." 424 00:19:55,061 --> 00:19:56,427 Should I? 425 00:19:58,330 --> 00:19:59,997 No no no. 426 00:19:59,999 --> 00:20:01,399 What do you want, Paul? 427 00:20:01,401 --> 00:20:03,167 I'm tired of walking. 428 00:20:03,169 --> 00:20:07,271 Oh, please take it. This thing has brought me nothing but trouble. 429 00:20:08,974 --> 00:20:09,974 Nice doing business with you. 430 00:20:09,976 --> 00:20:11,175 Whoa whoa whoa whoa. 431 00:20:11,177 --> 00:20:12,210 Delete it first. 432 00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:13,978 (Dings) 433 00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:16,047 Now get outta here. 434 00:20:19,818 --> 00:20:21,152 What happened to your scooter? 435 00:20:21,154 --> 00:20:23,187 - I traded it. - For what? 436 00:20:23,189 --> 00:20:25,122 My reputation. 437 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:29,227 I'll explain later. 438 00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:30,995 - Need a ride home? - Yeah. 439 00:20:30,997 --> 00:20:32,163 Hop on. 440 00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:37,034 Okay, hold on tight, sweetie. 441 00:20:37,036 --> 00:20:39,036 - And smile. - (Camera shutter clicks) 442 00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:49,480 Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! 443 00:20:49,482 --> 00:20:51,115 What what? What is it? 444 00:20:51,117 --> 00:20:52,516 It's another email from Yale. 445 00:20:52,518 --> 00:20:53,985 Oh, you want me to... 446 00:20:53,987 --> 00:20:55,052 no! 447 00:20:58,090 --> 00:20:59,390 Mom, you do it. 448 00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:00,992 Okay. (Exhales) 449 00:21:00,994 --> 00:21:02,126 (Key clicks) 450 00:21:04,162 --> 00:21:05,096 You got in. 451 00:21:05,098 --> 00:21:06,163 I got in? 452 00:21:06,165 --> 00:21:07,865 You got in. 453 00:21:08,867 --> 00:21:10,935 (All screaming) 454 00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:16,974 Oh, man! We... 455 00:21:16,976 --> 00:21:19,010 we are so proud of you! 456 00:21:19,012 --> 00:21:20,978 I'm so proud of me too. 457 00:21:20,980 --> 00:21:22,813 (Both laughing) 458 00:21:22,815 --> 00:21:25,149 What about me? 459 00:21:25,151 --> 00:21:27,184 I'm gonna be the mother of a yalie. 460 00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:31,122 You're looking at me again. 461 00:21:31,124 --> 00:21:32,456 No, I didn't... 462 00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:34,358 - Hey! - Yeah! 463 00:21:40,365 --> 00:21:43,200 Well, Charlie, I got into Yale. 464 00:21:43,202 --> 00:21:47,038 (Chuckles) You know, there's actually a lot of famous people that went there. 465 00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:54,111 Several U.S. presidents, supreme court justices and the circle gurgle. 466 00:21:55,981 --> 00:21:59,150 Yep, soon I will be joining that proud lineup. 467 00:21:59,152 --> 00:22:00,251 (Scooter approaching) 468 00:22:00,253 --> 00:22:03,020 Whee! H-hey, Gabe! 469 00:22:03,022 --> 00:22:05,423 I got your scooter back. 470 00:22:05,425 --> 00:22:07,325 - What? - Yeah. 471 00:22:07,327 --> 00:22:08,993 Big brother to the rescue. 472 00:22:08,995 --> 00:22:12,129 Saw that punk and just took it from him. 473 00:22:12,131 --> 00:22:13,264 Yeah. 474 00:22:13,266 --> 00:22:15,132 He was not happy about it. 475 00:22:16,068 --> 00:22:20,204 (Chuckles) Yeah, thank you, but there's just one problem. 476 00:22:20,206 --> 00:22:22,106 That's not my scooter. 477 00:22:24,142 --> 00:22:26,444 - I'll be right back. - Yeah. 478 00:22:26,446 --> 00:22:28,346 Whee! 479 00:22:29,981 --> 00:22:31,515 Wish him good luck, Charlie. 480 00:22:44,129 --> 00:22:45,162 There she is. 481 00:22:45,164 --> 00:22:46,430 The toast of Broadway. 482 00:22:46,432 --> 00:22:48,432 You were magnificent tonight. 483 00:22:48,434 --> 00:22:51,369 (Sighs) Great, listen, I'm gonna need you both in my dream tomorrow night. 484 00:22:51,371 --> 00:22:54,505 Mm, no can do, mom. I gotta be in Gabe's dream tomorrow night. 485 00:22:54,507 --> 00:22:57,508 He's getting chased by monsters and I do not wanna miss that. 486 00:22:57,510 --> 00:22:59,210 And I have to be in my own dream. 487 00:22:59,212 --> 00:23:01,545 I'm giving a book report in front of my second-grade class 488 00:23:01,547 --> 00:23:03,514 - in my underwear. - Hey hey hey! 489 00:23:03,516 --> 00:23:06,317 Let's bring this back to me, okay? This is my dream. 490 00:23:06,319 --> 00:23:07,952 Where is Gabe anyway? 491 00:23:07,954 --> 00:23:09,553 (Groans) Sorry we're late. 492 00:23:09,555 --> 00:23:11,922 Mrs. Dabney was having that nightmare again. 493 00:23:11,924 --> 00:23:13,224 We? 494 00:23:17,429 --> 00:23:19,096 How many of you are there? 495 00:23:19,098 --> 00:23:20,398 3,000. 496 00:23:20,448 --> 00:23:24,998 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 34383

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