Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,000
Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen
www.addic7ed.com
2
00:00:08,074 --> 00:00:09,241
Oh, hey.
3
00:00:09,243 --> 00:00:10,943
You guys wanna hear a joke?
4
00:00:10,945 --> 00:00:12,511
All: No!
5
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,147
Why not?
6
00:00:15,149 --> 00:00:16,982
Because they're never good.
7
00:00:16,984 --> 00:00:19,985
Dad, your mouth is where jokes go to die.
8
00:00:20,954 --> 00:00:22,554
I can be funny.
9
00:00:22,556 --> 00:00:24,656
It's funny watching you try to tell a joke.
10
00:00:26,292 --> 00:00:29,128
See, now that's funny.
11
00:00:29,130 --> 00:00:32,231
Honey, why don't you just wait
and tell your joke at lunch?
12
00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:33,766
But I have lunch at work.
13
00:00:33,768 --> 00:00:35,167
Uh-huh.
14
00:00:36,269 --> 00:00:38,804
You know what? You guys
are gonna like this one.
15
00:00:38,806 --> 00:00:42,274
So, guy walks into a store
with a frog on a leash...
16
00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:43,709
No no no!
17
00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:45,844
Sorry. Frog's on his head.
18
00:00:46,946 --> 00:00:49,281
So anyway, the frog says...
19
00:00:49,283 --> 00:00:50,949
(Sighs)
20
00:00:50,951 --> 00:00:52,885
Ah, you shouldn't know the frog talks yet.
21
00:00:52,887 --> 00:00:55,020
So, let's just forget I said that, okay?
22
00:00:55,022 --> 00:00:56,855
The store owner says...
23
00:00:56,857 --> 00:00:58,724
And it doesn't have to be the store owner,
24
00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:00,659
could just be a guy who works there.
(All groan)
25
00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:01,860
- Okay okay.
- Or a girl, whatever.
26
00:01:01,862 --> 00:01:03,595
You know what, guys?
In the interest of time,
27
00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:04,930
let's just laugh now and get it over with.
28
00:01:04,932 --> 00:01:07,099
- Okay. Go.
- (All laugh loudly)
29
00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:09,034
Ohh!
30
00:01:09,036 --> 00:01:10,235
- Good one, dad.
- No no, wait.
31
00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:11,703
Wait a minute. I'm not done yet.
32
00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:12,771
- No, but we are.
- Yeah.
33
00:01:20,346 --> 00:01:23,115
Well, you wanna hear
the joke, right, Charlie?
34
00:01:23,117 --> 00:01:24,583
Sure, daddy.
35
00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:27,586
Okay, so...
36
00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:29,121
Guy walks into a store with a frog...
37
00:01:30,256 --> 00:01:32,124
(groans) Wait a minute.
38
00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:34,860
It's not a frog. It's a parrot.
39
00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:36,962
(Laughs)
40
00:01:36,964 --> 00:01:37,963
Parrots are funny.
41
00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:39,198
(Laughing) Yeah.
42
00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:41,867
Yeah. Okay. But there's more to the joke.
43
00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:43,202
It doesn't end on "parrot."
44
00:01:43,204 --> 00:01:45,337
(Giggles) You said it again.
45
00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:48,273
(Rock music playing)
46
00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:50,075
Today's all burnt toast
47
00:01:50,077 --> 00:01:51,844
running late and dad jokes
48
00:01:51,846 --> 00:01:54,680
"has anybody seen my left shoe?"
49
00:01:54,682 --> 00:01:56,381
I close my eyes, take a bite
50
00:01:56,383 --> 00:01:58,183
grab a ride, laugh out loud
51
00:01:58,185 --> 00:02:00,319
there it is up on the roof
52
00:02:01,454 --> 00:02:04,756
I've been there, I survived
53
00:02:04,758 --> 00:02:07,926
so just take my advice
54
00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:09,928
hang in there, baby
55
00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:11,630
things are crazy
56
00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:14,299
but I know your future's bright
57
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:16,335
hang in there, baby
58
00:02:16,337 --> 00:02:17,936
there's no maybe
59
00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:20,873
everything turns out all right
60
00:02:20,875 --> 00:02:23,108
sure life is up and down
61
00:02:23,110 --> 00:02:26,945
but trust me, it comes back around
62
00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:30,949
you're gonna love
who you turn out to be
63
00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:34,887
hang in there, baby.
64
00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:44,296
(squeals) It's here, it's here!
65
00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:45,764
What is?
66
00:02:45,766 --> 00:02:46,932
The email from Yale.
67
00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:48,433
I'm about to find out if I got in.
68
00:02:48,435 --> 00:02:50,302
Open it! What are you waiting for?
69
00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:52,137
I can't. I'm too nervous.
70
00:02:52,139 --> 00:02:53,839
Yale is my dream school.
71
00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:57,242
The next ten seconds are gonna
decide the course of my entire life.
72
00:02:57,244 --> 00:02:59,244
Okay. Easy now, honey.
73
00:02:59,246 --> 00:03:01,380
Nobody likes a drama queen.
74
00:03:05,251 --> 00:03:07,219
What are you looking at me for?
75
00:03:10,790 --> 00:03:13,759
Okay. Dad, here, you read it.
76
00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:15,928
I'll be able to tell by your expression.
77
00:03:15,930 --> 00:03:17,129
(Deeply exhales)
78
00:03:17,131 --> 00:03:18,897
(Key clicks)
79
00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:21,300
Uh-oh.
80
00:03:21,302 --> 00:03:22,768
I didn't get in?
81
00:03:22,770 --> 00:03:24,303
No, I sent it to trash.
82
00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:28,874
Hey, how do I get this back? "Empty trash."
83
00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:30,175
No!
84
00:03:30,177 --> 00:03:32,244
Gosh. I'll do it.
85
00:03:33,413 --> 00:03:35,280
(Sighing) Okay.
86
00:03:35,282 --> 00:03:37,149
Here goes.
87
00:03:37,151 --> 00:03:38,350
(Key clicks)
88
00:03:40,086 --> 00:03:41,787
Huh.
89
00:03:41,789 --> 00:03:43,188
I'm on the wait list.
90
00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:46,091
Well, that's good.
91
00:03:46,093 --> 00:03:48,126
You still have a chance to get in.
92
00:03:48,128 --> 00:03:49,861
You just have to wait
for a spot to open up.
93
00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:52,231
Well, yeah, but what are the odds of that?
94
00:03:52,233 --> 00:03:54,233
Honey, look, it's out of your hands.
95
00:03:54,235 --> 00:03:58,203
Okay, so until you hear otherwise,
you just have to do what I do.
96
00:03:58,205 --> 00:04:01,473
Just relax and go with the flow.
97
00:04:05,778 --> 00:04:07,379
You're looking at me again.
98
00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:21,927
What is that?
99
00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:25,764
Which I bought with my
graduation money from grandpa.
100
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:28,166
- You didn't graduate.
- Grandpa doesn't know that.
101
00:04:29,235 --> 00:04:30,869
Gabe, we talked about this.
102
00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:33,205
I specifically said you could
not get one of these things.
103
00:04:33,207 --> 00:04:34,973
You said I couldn't have a dirt bike.
104
00:04:34,975 --> 00:04:36,441
This is an electric scooter.
105
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:38,510
It's what kids with dirt bikes make fun of.
106
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:43,315
Well, whatever it is, it
doesn't look very safe.
107
00:04:43,317 --> 00:04:46,985
Listen, before you decide anything, how
about you just take it for a spin?
108
00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:48,887
Then you can see how tame it is.
109
00:04:48,889 --> 00:04:50,222
Whoo-hoo!
110
00:04:50,224 --> 00:04:52,291
Aww, yeah!
111
00:04:52,293 --> 00:04:54,126
Fun, huh? So can I keep it?
112
00:04:54,128 --> 00:04:56,461
Don't know. Not done testing it yet.
113
00:04:57,430 --> 00:04:58,897
Whoo-hoo!
114
00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:00,132
Aw, yeah!
115
00:05:06,205 --> 00:05:08,140
Okay, Charlie, let's go.
116
00:05:08,142 --> 00:05:09,474
Hello, Mr. Duncan.
117
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:11,109
Hello, teacher lily.
118
00:05:11,111 --> 00:05:12,944
I wanted to show you something
Charlie wrote about you.
119
00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:14,112
- It's on the "mommy daddy" wall.
- (Bob sighs)
120
00:05:14,114 --> 00:05:16,214
Let me apologize in advance.
121
00:05:16,216 --> 00:05:17,516
No.
122
00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:19,117
It's good this time.
123
00:05:23,289 --> 00:05:24,890
Here's Charlie's.
124
00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:27,893
"My daddy tells funny jokes."
125
00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:32,097
well, at least somebody appreciates me.
126
00:05:32,099 --> 00:05:33,899
Thank you, Charlie.
127
00:05:33,901 --> 00:05:35,467
You're welcome, daddy.
128
00:05:35,469 --> 00:05:39,004
Since you're coming in for
circle time tomorrow anyway,
129
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:40,839
how about telling the
kids a couple of jokes?
130
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:42,007
Oh, I...
(Exhales)
131
00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:43,308
(Stammering) I don't know.
132
00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:46,078
Sometimes I get a little rattled.
133
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:47,913
Mr. Duncan, they're
four-year-olds.
134
00:05:47,915 --> 00:05:50,048
You're not hosting the oscars.
135
00:05:52,051 --> 00:05:53,585
Please, daddy.
136
00:05:54,921 --> 00:05:57,389
Um...
137
00:05:57,391 --> 00:05:59,558
Well, I guess I could tell a few jokes.
138
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,360
I mean, how hard could that be?
139
00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:03,061
Tell the one about the parrot.
140
00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:04,930
It's so funny.
141
00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:12,938
Oh, hey, Victor, if you're
not busy tomorrow night...
142
00:06:12,940 --> 00:06:14,339
and, uh, I'm assuming you're not...
143
00:06:14,341 --> 00:06:16,174
Hey!
144
00:06:17,343 --> 00:06:19,277
Oh. I'm sorry. Are you busy?
145
00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:20,312
No.
146
00:06:21,348 --> 00:06:25,650
Well, I could use some
help with the senior prank.
147
00:06:25,652 --> 00:06:27,319
A prank?
148
00:06:27,321 --> 00:06:29,488
I don't know. That sounds like hijinks.
149
00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:31,223
Which borders on shenanigans.
150
00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:36,161
And from there it's a slippery
slope into tomfoolery.
151
00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:40,365
And you wonder why you're never busy.
152
00:06:41,467 --> 00:06:43,135
Look, I don't wanna get into any trouble.
153
00:06:43,137 --> 00:06:45,137
- I have too much at stake.
- (Deeply exhales)
154
00:06:45,139 --> 00:06:47,372
I was just accepted at Yale.
155
00:06:47,374 --> 00:06:49,674
Hey! Congratulations.
156
00:06:49,676 --> 00:06:51,910
I was just wait-listed there.
157
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:53,145
They didn't reject you?
158
00:06:54,514 --> 00:06:56,181
Now I feel less good about getting in.
159
00:06:56,183 --> 00:06:57,349
(Chuckles)
160
00:06:57,351 --> 00:06:59,050
Thanks.
161
00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:01,486
I'm sorry I didn't get in too.
162
00:07:03,523 --> 00:07:06,591
So, uh... Are you gonna go?
163
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:09,194
Well, it's between Harvard and Yale.
164
00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:11,329
Well, you are clearly a Harvard man.
165
00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:13,331
I mean, Yale is so "ehh"
166
00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:16,134
and you're so "whoa!" (Laughs nervously)
167
00:07:17,303 --> 00:07:19,171
Teddy, I know what you're doing.
168
00:07:19,173 --> 00:07:22,174
You're trying to talk me out of Yale
so that it opens up a spot for you.
169
00:07:22,176 --> 00:07:24,242
That's good Harvard thinking right there.
170
00:07:25,311 --> 00:07:26,545
It's not gonna work.
171
00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:29,514
Well, will you help me
with the senior prank?
172
00:07:29,516 --> 00:07:31,450
Ivy was gonna do it, but she's sick.
173
00:07:31,452 --> 00:07:33,618
Okay. Why not?
174
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:36,188
But I will not participate in
any malarkey or monkeyshines.
175
00:07:38,090 --> 00:07:39,691
Those are some big words.
176
00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:41,193
I could have also gone with "poppycock"
177
00:07:41,195 --> 00:07:42,494
or "balderdash."
178
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:46,231
Okay, we get it. You got into Yale.
179
00:08:00,713 --> 00:08:02,380
Going somewhere?
180
00:08:03,549 --> 00:08:05,250
You forgot your lunch.
181
00:08:06,285 --> 00:08:07,285
Got it right here.
182
00:08:07,287 --> 00:08:08,420
You forgot your homework.
183
00:08:08,422 --> 00:08:10,021
I don't do my homework.
184
00:08:11,257 --> 00:08:14,392
Well, you should. And as punishment,
I'm gonna ride your scooter.
185
00:08:14,394 --> 00:08:17,095
- No, you're not.
- Why?
186
00:08:17,097 --> 00:08:18,663
Why won't you share with me?
187
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:21,500
Because, mom, it's bad
enough I have a scooter,
188
00:08:21,502 --> 00:08:23,668
but a scooter that I share with my mom?
189
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,403
I'd beat myself up.
190
00:08:27,473 --> 00:08:28,473
Fine.
191
00:08:28,475 --> 00:08:30,141
I won't ride it anymore.
192
00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:32,277
Good. Thank you.
193
00:08:32,279 --> 00:08:33,411
(Sighs deeply)
194
00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:34,479
(Garage door rumbling, creaking)
195
00:08:38,284 --> 00:08:40,352
- (Garage door closes)
- (Mouthing)
196
00:08:49,662 --> 00:08:51,229
I can do this all day.
197
00:08:52,164 --> 00:08:54,065
(Garage door closing)
198
00:08:58,070 --> 00:09:00,472
So you're telling jokes
at Charlie's preschool?
199
00:09:00,474 --> 00:09:01,540
Yeah.
200
00:09:01,542 --> 00:09:02,641
Why?
201
00:09:02,643 --> 00:09:04,643
Isn't school hard enough on kids?
202
00:09:06,479 --> 00:09:09,314
Look, I just wanna
practice some jokes on you.
203
00:09:09,316 --> 00:09:11,149
Just pretend you're four years old.
204
00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:12,384
Oh! Okay.
205
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:15,720
All right...
206
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:19,157
How do you make a tissue dance?
207
00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:22,193
You blow your nose in it!
208
00:09:23,663 --> 00:09:26,665
I think it goes "how do
you make a tissue dance?
209
00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:29,501
Put a little boogie in it."
210
00:09:29,503 --> 00:09:31,503
That's what I said.
211
00:09:31,505 --> 00:09:34,105
I may be four, but
that's not what you said.
212
00:09:35,508 --> 00:09:37,309
- Try another one.
- All right.
213
00:09:37,311 --> 00:09:40,111
Oh! How do you make time fly?
214
00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:42,347
You throw it out the window!
215
00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:46,184
No. No.
216
00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:47,185
No.
217
00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:51,323
To make time fly, you throw
a clock out the window.
218
00:09:52,525 --> 00:09:53,758
That's what I said.
219
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,627
Dad, you're not saying the crucial word.
220
00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:57,696
But I heard it inside my head.
221
00:09:59,665 --> 00:10:01,566
Did you hear me laughing inside your head?
222
00:10:03,469 --> 00:10:05,270
You're pretty harsh
for a four-year-old.
223
00:10:06,505 --> 00:10:08,173
Dad, you know what you need?
224
00:10:08,175 --> 00:10:11,610
Then all you have to do is read the jokes.
225
00:10:11,612 --> 00:10:13,244
But isn't that cheating?
226
00:10:13,246 --> 00:10:15,246
Let me tell you something
my school counselor
227
00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:17,382
once told me...
(Sighs)
228
00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:19,517
"Cheating is your only hope."
229
00:10:25,157 --> 00:10:27,225
I wonder what principal
Higgins is gonna say
230
00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:29,327
when he walks in and
sees all this tomorrow.
231
00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:32,731
Probably something like,
"that's a lot of sticky notes."
232
00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:36,568
And it'll all be worth it.
233
00:10:38,838 --> 00:10:41,239
This is really gonna get Ernie's goat.
234
00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:46,277
Well, he's given me so many awards over
the years, we've become pretty close.
235
00:10:47,780 --> 00:10:50,148
Ahh! Paper cut.
236
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:51,282
Ow. Oh!
237
00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:52,617
My mother was right.
238
00:10:52,619 --> 00:10:54,352
Mischief always has repercussions.
239
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,789
Calm down. It's just a little cut.
240
00:10:57,791 --> 00:10:59,791
I need first aid. Did you bring some?
241
00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:04,329
I didn't think it was necessary,
given that we're dealing with paper.
242
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:06,931
It hurts! Do something!
243
00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:09,300
Okay, fine. I have a bandage in my locker.
244
00:11:09,302 --> 00:11:10,769
I'll be right back.
245
00:11:10,771 --> 00:11:13,705
(Hyperventilating)
246
00:11:15,307 --> 00:11:16,374
Hey!
247
00:11:18,210 --> 00:11:19,277
What's going on here?
248
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:20,311
I can explain.
249
00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:21,646
Let's go.
250
00:11:21,648 --> 00:11:22,847
Where are you taking me?
251
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:24,215
To the movies.
252
00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:29,387
- (Chuckles)
- You have the right to remain silent.
253
00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:31,189
Oh, don't worry. I never
talk during the movies.
254
00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:32,257
(Chuckles)
255
00:11:36,228 --> 00:11:38,296
(Sighing) Okay, Victor.
256
00:11:39,331 --> 00:11:41,299
Victor?
257
00:11:41,301 --> 00:11:43,368
Maybe he left a note.
258
00:11:45,237 --> 00:11:46,705
This could take a while.
259
00:11:55,948 --> 00:11:57,215
(Pounding on door)
260
00:11:59,852 --> 00:12:01,619
There you are! What happened?
261
00:12:01,621 --> 00:12:02,787
Where did you go?
262
00:12:02,789 --> 00:12:04,923
Not to the movies. I'll tell you that.
263
00:12:06,959 --> 00:12:08,960
I got arrested.
264
00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:10,462
- What?!
- That's right.
265
00:12:10,464 --> 00:12:12,997
Handcuffed, fingerprinted
and had my mug shot taken.
266
00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:16,267
You ever been to jail, Teddy?
267
00:12:16,269 --> 00:12:18,336
Super adventure land jail.
268
00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:22,407
Denver county jail is a little different.
269
00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:23,541
It's an adventure.
270
00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:24,642
But it's not super!
271
00:12:26,812 --> 00:12:28,913
I have to go see the principal tomorrow.
272
00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:32,617
If he presses charges, my college
admission could be rescinded.
273
00:12:32,619 --> 00:12:33,918
"Rescinded" means "taken away"
274
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,987
for those of you on the wait list.
275
00:12:38,390 --> 00:12:40,358
Victor, I'm so sorry.
276
00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:41,659
Are you? (Scoffs)
277
00:12:41,661 --> 00:12:43,828
I mean, wasn't this all
part of your big plan?
278
00:12:43,830 --> 00:12:44,896
What are you talking about?
279
00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:46,431
You set me up!
280
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,266
First you talk me into doing the prank,
281
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:51,002
then you conveniently disappear
just before the police arrived.
282
00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:54,973
So that my arrest would open
up a spot for you at Yale.
283
00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:57,008
Okay, Victor, you're babbling.
284
00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:59,911
How much blood did you
lose from that paper cut?
285
00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:03,114
Not enough to kill me, if that's
what you were hoping for!
286
00:13:09,588 --> 00:13:11,022
Ba-bam!
287
00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:12,423
Oh, what's this?
288
00:13:12,425 --> 00:13:14,025
I got a scooter too.
289
00:13:14,027 --> 00:13:15,727
- Oh, that's great.
- Yup!
290
00:13:15,729 --> 00:13:17,028
And now we can ride together.
291
00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:18,530
That's not so great.
292
00:13:19,732 --> 00:13:21,900
Mom, let me explain something to you.
293
00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:23,468
I'm in middle school.
294
00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:26,838
I can't be seen riding
side-by-side with my mother.
295
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:29,674
Look, I bought this so
that we could ride together.
296
00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:31,576
- We're gonna ride together.
- No, we're not.
297
00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:32,777
- Yes, we are.
- No, we're not.
298
00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:35,847
We can go back and forth all night
about this, but the bottom line is
299
00:13:35,849 --> 00:13:36,948
we're going on a double scoot.
300
00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:40,752
Fine.
301
00:13:40,754 --> 00:13:44,022
We go to a neighborhood
where nobody knows me,
302
00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:46,024
we scoot for no longer than 30 minutes
303
00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:49,594
and if at any point you tell
me how cute I look, it's over.
304
00:13:50,596 --> 00:13:51,996
40 minutes and I get one "cute."
305
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:54,399
35 minutes and you can pinch my cheek.
306
00:13:54,401 --> 00:13:55,934
- Deal.
- (Grumbles)
307
00:14:06,078 --> 00:14:10,081
Teddy, we are so proud of
you for graduating from Yale.
308
00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:11,916
Aww. Thanks, dad.
309
00:14:11,918 --> 00:14:15,353
But, um, why is it just you and Toby here?
310
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,789
Oh, everybody else was
busy in your mom's dream.
311
00:14:17,791 --> 00:14:21,926
Tonight she's starring in her
one-woman Broadway show "ba-bamalot."
312
00:14:21,928 --> 00:14:23,094
(Doorbell rings)
313
00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:24,629
Hup, food's here.
314
00:14:24,631 --> 00:14:26,698
Oh. I'll get it.
315
00:14:30,936 --> 00:14:32,503
(Sadly) Pizza delivery.
316
00:14:34,506 --> 00:14:35,640
Victor?
317
00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:36,941
Hello, Teddy.
318
00:14:36,943 --> 00:14:37,942
What?
319
00:14:37,944 --> 00:14:38,943
You're delivering pizza now?
320
00:14:38,945 --> 00:14:40,478
Yes.
321
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,580
After my arrest, no college would take me.
322
00:14:42,582 --> 00:14:46,651
So instead of realizing my destiny
of becoming a brilliant scientist,
323
00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:49,020
I work a dead-end job with
no hope for the future.
324
00:14:51,423 --> 00:14:52,891
This is awkward.
325
00:14:52,893 --> 00:14:54,959
We didn't order pepperoni.
326
00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:00,064
My life is a disaster, Teddy.
327
00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:01,966
And it's all your fault.
328
00:15:01,968 --> 00:15:03,701
Fault fault...
329
00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:04,836
What are you doing?
330
00:15:05,804 --> 00:15:07,839
I thought the dream was over.
331
00:15:07,841 --> 00:15:11,509
No. I get to say when the dream is over...
332
00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:14,579
(Echoing) Over over over...
333
00:15:15,614 --> 00:15:17,015
(Gasps)
334
00:15:22,054 --> 00:15:24,756
Okay, dad, showtime. All you
gotta do is read the cards.
335
00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:26,491
(Exhales) Got it.
336
00:15:26,493 --> 00:15:29,127
Okay, children, we have a
real treat for you today.
337
00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:32,730
Let's welcome Charlie's daddy, Mr. Duncan.
338
00:15:35,134 --> 00:15:37,201
Ahh.
339
00:15:38,904 --> 00:15:41,072
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
340
00:15:41,074 --> 00:15:44,108
So, anybody here from outta town?
341
00:15:47,046 --> 00:15:49,147
Okay, now for a few jokes.
342
00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:52,150
Why did the chicken cross the road?
343
00:15:52,152 --> 00:15:55,153
To make time fly!
344
00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:05,863
Uh, what's black and
white and red all over?
345
00:16:06,932 --> 00:16:09,801
To get to the other side.
346
00:16:13,238 --> 00:16:16,941
You know what? They don't get it because
they don't know what a newspaper is.
347
00:16:16,943 --> 00:16:18,943
You didn't say "newspaper."
348
00:16:20,779 --> 00:16:22,613
Wrap it up.
349
00:16:22,615 --> 00:16:24,549
Um...
350
00:16:26,919 --> 00:16:29,053
Okay okay okay, look.
351
00:16:29,055 --> 00:16:32,690
The thing is I'm not very
good at telling jokes.
352
00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:34,225
We know.
353
00:16:36,929 --> 00:16:39,097
Well...
354
00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:42,600
I guess the truth is some
people just aren't funny.
355
00:16:42,602 --> 00:16:43,901
(Yelps)
356
00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:46,104
(Kids laughing)
357
00:16:49,942 --> 00:16:52,677
But I'm not one of those people!
358
00:16:54,747 --> 00:16:56,581
(Laughs)
359
00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:58,649
Told you he was funny.
360
00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:03,855
(School bell rings)
361
00:17:04,923 --> 00:17:06,958
So, what'd you wanna see me about, Ernie?
362
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:10,228
Uh-uh. Principal Higgins.
363
00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:12,830
I lost first-name privileges?
364
00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:14,132
Are we still on for jazz fest?
365
00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:16,000
No, we are not.
366
00:17:16,002 --> 00:17:18,703
Excuse me, principal Higgins.
367
00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:20,038
Sorry to interrupt.
368
00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:22,940
Look, the senior prank was my idea.
369
00:17:22,942 --> 00:17:26,277
Victor wanted nothing to do with
it, but I forced him to help me.
370
00:17:26,279 --> 00:17:28,713
So if you're gonna punish anyone...
371
00:17:30,682 --> 00:17:31,749
Punish me.
372
00:17:32,751 --> 00:17:34,152
I'm okay with that.
373
00:17:36,321 --> 00:17:39,657
I am very disappointed in both of you.
374
00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:43,995
Two of my best students, and all
you came up with was sticky notes?
375
00:17:43,997 --> 00:17:46,064
That's pathetic!
376
00:17:47,132 --> 00:17:48,332
So you're not going to press charges?
377
00:17:48,334 --> 00:17:50,601
For what? Lack of creativity?
378
00:17:52,004 --> 00:17:55,673
Next time you pull a prank,
put a cow in my office
379
00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:57,075
or glue the furniture to the ceiling.
380
00:17:57,077 --> 00:17:59,677
Something!
381
00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:00,978
Now you're thinking, Ernie.
382
00:18:00,980 --> 00:18:02,213
Stop that.
383
00:18:02,215 --> 00:18:04,015
(Cellphone ringing)
384
00:18:04,883 --> 00:18:08,119
I gotta take this. Now,
uh, clean all this up.
385
00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:14,092
Thank you, Teddy.
386
00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:15,593
You didn't have to do that.
387
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,762
Victor, as much as I wanna go to Yale,
388
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:20,765
I would never do anything
to hurt your chances.
389
00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:22,767
I'm glad to hear you say that.
390
00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:24,268
Because I'm accepting their offer.
391
00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:25,970
You should.
392
00:18:25,972 --> 00:18:27,738
Yale is lucky to have you.
393
00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:28,906
Thanks.
394
00:18:28,908 --> 00:18:30,641
And I hope you end up getting in too.
395
00:18:32,010 --> 00:18:33,311
That... (Sighs)
396
00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:36,681
...was the north high principal.
397
00:18:36,683 --> 00:18:38,249
You know what his seniors did to him?
398
00:18:38,251 --> 00:18:41,819
They took apart his car and
reassembled it in his office!
399
00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:45,123
Now that's a prank!
400
00:18:45,125 --> 00:18:47,225
We're sorry, okay?
401
00:18:47,227 --> 00:18:48,626
What am I supposed to tell him?
402
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:49,961
"Yeah, things are tough over here too.
403
00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:52,029
I got stickied."
404
00:18:52,031 --> 00:18:56,067
(Exhales) We could trash
your office if you want.
405
00:18:57,202 --> 00:18:59,070
That's the least you could do.
406
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:06,844
(Mimics brakes screeching)
407
00:19:06,846 --> 00:19:09,046
Whoo! This isn't so bad, is it?
408
00:19:10,115 --> 00:19:12,049
17 minutes and counting.
409
00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:15,953
All right. Stop the clock.
410
00:19:15,955 --> 00:19:17,889
I need to find a bathroom.
411
00:19:19,291 --> 00:19:21,759
Well well well.
412
00:19:21,761 --> 00:19:23,161
Gabe Duncan.
413
00:19:23,163 --> 00:19:26,063
Paul, what are you doing
on this side of town?
414
00:19:26,065 --> 00:19:27,765
I get around.
415
00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:31,669
I guess the question
is what are you doing?
416
00:19:32,437 --> 00:19:34,672
Oh, you know, just nothing.
417
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,741
Hanging out.
418
00:19:37,976 --> 00:19:39,343
By myself.
419
00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:41,412
Hey, wanna see a cute pic?
420
00:19:43,115 --> 00:19:45,349
It's you and your mommy scooting together.
421
00:19:46,885 --> 00:19:50,988
You know, I think that a lot of
people would like to see this.
422
00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:53,057
Oh, okay, let's just
calm down for a second.
423
00:19:53,059 --> 00:19:55,059
"Post album."
424
00:19:55,061 --> 00:19:56,427
Should I?
425
00:19:58,330 --> 00:19:59,997
No no no.
426
00:19:59,999 --> 00:20:01,399
What do you want, Paul?
427
00:20:01,401 --> 00:20:03,167
I'm tired of walking.
428
00:20:03,169 --> 00:20:07,271
Oh, please take it. This thing has
brought me nothing but trouble.
429
00:20:08,974 --> 00:20:09,974
Nice doing business with you.
430
00:20:09,976 --> 00:20:11,175
Whoa whoa whoa whoa.
431
00:20:11,177 --> 00:20:12,210
Delete it first.
432
00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:13,978
(Dings)
433
00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:16,047
Now get outta here.
434
00:20:19,818 --> 00:20:21,152
What happened to your scooter?
435
00:20:21,154 --> 00:20:23,187
- I traded it.
- For what?
436
00:20:23,189 --> 00:20:25,122
My reputation.
437
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:29,227
I'll explain later.
438
00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:30,995
- Need a ride home?
- Yeah.
439
00:20:30,997 --> 00:20:32,163
Hop on.
440
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:37,034
Okay, hold on tight, sweetie.
441
00:20:37,036 --> 00:20:39,036
- And smile.
- (Camera shutter clicks)
442
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:49,480
Oh my gosh, oh my gosh!
443
00:20:49,482 --> 00:20:51,115
What what? What is it?
444
00:20:51,117 --> 00:20:52,516
It's another email from Yale.
445
00:20:52,518 --> 00:20:53,985
Oh, you want me to...
446
00:20:53,987 --> 00:20:55,052
no!
447
00:20:58,090 --> 00:20:59,390
Mom, you do it.
448
00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:00,992
Okay. (Exhales)
449
00:21:00,994 --> 00:21:02,126
(Key clicks)
450
00:21:04,162 --> 00:21:05,096
You got in.
451
00:21:05,098 --> 00:21:06,163
I got in?
452
00:21:06,165 --> 00:21:07,865
You got in.
453
00:21:08,867 --> 00:21:10,935
(All screaming)
454
00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:16,974
Oh, man! We...
455
00:21:16,976 --> 00:21:19,010
we are so proud of you!
456
00:21:19,012 --> 00:21:20,978
I'm so proud of me too.
457
00:21:20,980 --> 00:21:22,813
(Both laughing)
458
00:21:22,815 --> 00:21:25,149
What about me?
459
00:21:25,151 --> 00:21:27,184
I'm gonna be the mother of a yalie.
460
00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:31,122
You're looking at me again.
461
00:21:31,124 --> 00:21:32,456
No, I didn't...
462
00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:34,358
- Hey!
- Yeah!
463
00:21:40,365 --> 00:21:43,200
Well, Charlie, I got into Yale.
464
00:21:43,202 --> 00:21:47,038
(Chuckles) You know, there's actually a
lot of famous people that went there.
465
00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:54,111
Several U.S. presidents, supreme court
justices and the circle gurgle.
466
00:21:55,981 --> 00:21:59,150
Yep, soon I will be
joining that proud lineup.
467
00:21:59,152 --> 00:22:00,251
(Scooter approaching)
468
00:22:00,253 --> 00:22:03,020
Whee! H-hey, Gabe!
469
00:22:03,022 --> 00:22:05,423
I got your scooter back.
470
00:22:05,425 --> 00:22:07,325
- What?
- Yeah.
471
00:22:07,327 --> 00:22:08,993
Big brother to the rescue.
472
00:22:08,995 --> 00:22:12,129
Saw that punk and just took it from him.
473
00:22:12,131 --> 00:22:13,264
Yeah.
474
00:22:13,266 --> 00:22:15,132
He was not happy about it.
475
00:22:16,068 --> 00:22:20,204
(Chuckles) Yeah, thank you,
but there's just one problem.
476
00:22:20,206 --> 00:22:22,106
That's not my scooter.
477
00:22:24,142 --> 00:22:26,444
- I'll be right back.
- Yeah.
478
00:22:26,446 --> 00:22:28,346
Whee!
479
00:22:29,981 --> 00:22:31,515
Wish him good luck, Charlie.
480
00:22:44,129 --> 00:22:45,162
There she is.
481
00:22:45,164 --> 00:22:46,430
The toast of Broadway.
482
00:22:46,432 --> 00:22:48,432
You were magnificent tonight.
483
00:22:48,434 --> 00:22:51,369
(Sighs) Great, listen, I'm gonna need
you both in my dream tomorrow night.
484
00:22:51,371 --> 00:22:54,505
Mm, no can do, mom. I gotta be
in Gabe's dream tomorrow night.
485
00:22:54,507 --> 00:22:57,508
He's getting chased by monsters
and I do not wanna miss that.
486
00:22:57,510 --> 00:22:59,210
And I have to be in my own dream.
487
00:22:59,212 --> 00:23:01,545
I'm giving a book report in
front of my second-grade class
488
00:23:01,547 --> 00:23:03,514
- in my underwear.
- Hey hey hey!
489
00:23:03,516 --> 00:23:06,317
Let's bring this back to
me, okay? This is my dream.
490
00:23:06,319 --> 00:23:07,952
Where is Gabe anyway?
491
00:23:07,954 --> 00:23:09,553
(Groans) Sorry we're late.
492
00:23:09,555 --> 00:23:11,922
Mrs. Dabney was having
that nightmare again.
493
00:23:11,924 --> 00:23:13,224
We?
494
00:23:17,429 --> 00:23:19,096
How many of you are there?
495
00:23:19,098 --> 00:23:20,398
3,000.
496
00:23:20,448 --> 00:23:24,998
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
34383
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.