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Subs created by: David Coleman.
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_.
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I know.
4
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Well, hang in there, honey, okay?
5
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Okay, bye-bye. [Phone beeps]
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I thought you were going to shave.
7
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What, are you kidding?
8
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I waited my whole life for
mutton chops to come back.
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These bad boys aren't going anywhere.
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I just got off the phone with Gabe.
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Apparently Gabe Junior
is quite a challenge.
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He even referred to him
as "The Devil Child".
13
00:00:38,388 --> 00:00:39,867
What goes around comes around, huh?
14
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- Woo! Up top.
- [Laughs]
15
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Mom, Toby's not talking to me.
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- Toby, talk to Charlie.
- No way.
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00:00:46,194 --> 00:00:49,565
- Toby...
- Hey, dad, chops are looking good.
18
00:00:49,566 --> 00:00:51,434
Oh, thanks, pal.
19
00:00:51,435 --> 00:00:55,538
You know, it took five tries, but I
finally got a kid to be nice to me.
20
00:00:55,539 --> 00:00:59,475
Toby's been giving me the
silent treatment for two days.
21
00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:02,612
- What'd you do?
- Nothing!
22
00:01:02,613 --> 00:01:04,721
Well, okay. [Sighs]
23
00:01:04,722 --> 00:01:06,549
I told some girl that he liked her.
24
00:01:06,550 --> 00:01:08,518
It's funny how, whenever
you say "nothing,"
25
00:01:08,519 --> 00:01:11,277
it's always followed by something.
26
00:01:11,278 --> 00:01:15,118
- What does that mean?
- Nothing.
27
00:01:15,119 --> 00:01:17,226
Well, what am I going to do about Toby?
28
00:01:17,227 --> 00:01:20,987
You know, I think that Teddy went through
something like this with Gabe once.
29
00:01:20,988 --> 00:01:23,332
Do you think she did
a video diary about it?
30
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I think she did a video
diary about everything.
31
00:01:27,471 --> 00:01:29,931
[Phone rings]
32
00:01:32,543 --> 00:01:34,310
Hey, Gabe.
33
00:01:34,311 --> 00:01:37,011
Hi. Gabe Junior.
34
00:01:37,658 --> 00:01:42,567
You did what? You tied
your daddy to a chair?
35
00:01:42,568 --> 00:01:45,808
Honey, listen to me
very carefully, okay?
36
00:01:45,809 --> 00:01:50,193
Do you know how to work a camera phone?
37
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Great.
38
00:01:51,725 --> 00:01:53,007
[Rock music playing]
39
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Today's all burnt toast
running late and dad jokes.
40
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"Has anybody seen my left shoe?"
41
00:01:59,294 --> 00:02:02,818
I close my eyes, take a bite
grab a ride, laugh out loud.
42
00:02:02,819 --> 00:02:06,154
There it is up on the roof.
43
00:02:06,155 --> 00:02:09,337
I've been there, I survived.
44
00:02:09,338 --> 00:02:12,260
So just take my advice.
45
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Hang in there, baby things are crazy.
46
00:02:16,031 --> 00:02:18,952
But I know your future's bright.
47
00:02:18,953 --> 00:02:22,577
Hang in there,
baby, there's no maybe.
48
00:02:22,578 --> 00:02:25,106
Everything turns out all right.
49
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Sure life is up and down.
50
00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:31,179
But trust me, it comes back around.
51
00:02:31,180 --> 00:02:36,040
You're gonna love
who you turn out to be.
52
00:02:36,578 --> 00:02:39,758
Hang in there, baby.
53
00:02:44,231 --> 00:02:45,911
_.
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Computer, bring up
Teddy's video diaries.
55
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- [Beeping]
- Female voice: Accessing files.
56
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Cross reference "silent treatment".
57
00:03:03,644 --> 00:03:05,020
Hey, Charlie.
58
00:03:05,021 --> 00:03:08,249
Well, crazy week for the Duncan family.
59
00:03:08,250 --> 00:03:12,721
This is going to be a long one, so
you might want to get comfortable.
60
00:03:12,722 --> 00:03:16,379
Anyway, it all started a few days ago.
61
00:03:16,380 --> 00:03:17,893
[Chuckling] Oh!
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00:03:17,894 --> 00:03:20,295
Charlie, it's so sweet
you're playing with Toby.
63
00:03:20,296 --> 00:03:21,940
You're a really good big sister.
64
00:03:21,941 --> 00:03:24,232
No, I'm not.
65
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What do you mean?
66
00:03:25,636 --> 00:03:30,076
I got in trouble. This is my punishment.
67
00:03:30,357 --> 00:03:33,073
Well, you're still...
68
00:03:33,074 --> 00:03:36,434
A sister. [Doorbell rings]
69
00:03:38,479 --> 00:03:41,216
- Hi, Lauren.
- Hi, Teddy. Is Gabe here?
70
00:03:41,217 --> 00:03:44,052
Uh, no. Do you want me
to give him a message?
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00:03:44,053 --> 00:03:45,980
Yeah, could you tell him
I need to talk to him?
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It's about our relationship.
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Oh. Okay.
74
00:03:49,325 --> 00:03:51,642
Um, I'll have him call you.
75
00:03:51,643 --> 00:03:54,295
No, I really need to do this in person.
76
00:03:54,296 --> 00:03:55,505
All right.
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00:03:55,506 --> 00:03:57,546
Thanks.
78
00:04:01,237 --> 00:04:03,613
- Uh oh.
- What's wrong?
79
00:04:03,614 --> 00:04:07,446
Well, usually when a girl says she
needs to talk about the relationship,
80
00:04:07,447 --> 00:04:12,127
it means she doesn't
like the boy anymore.
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00:04:12,556 --> 00:04:16,876
We need to talk about our relationship.
82
00:04:19,004 --> 00:04:24,884
Meanwhile, there was some trouble
brewing in the neighborhood.
83
00:04:25,023 --> 00:04:28,083
We've got a problem.
84
00:04:28,572 --> 00:04:31,932
Well, come on in, Debbie.
85
00:04:32,186 --> 00:04:35,309
I came outside this morning
to find that some hooligan
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00:04:35,310 --> 00:04:38,848
had rubbed soap all over my car windows.
87
00:04:38,849 --> 00:04:41,320
So I guess what I'm asking is...
88
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Where was Gabe last night?
89
00:04:44,957 --> 00:04:47,757
All right, it wasn't Gabe. He's
too old for that kind of stuff.
90
00:04:47,758 --> 00:04:49,825
No, besides, soap was never his thing.
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00:04:49,826 --> 00:04:54,346
Eggs, water balloons, toilet paper...
that's really where he excelled.
92
00:04:54,347 --> 00:04:56,799
Well, whoever it was,
we need to catch him.
93
00:04:56,800 --> 00:05:01,894
Almost everyone on the block's
been hit by the mad soaper.
94
00:05:01,895 --> 00:05:04,688
You know what we need? We
need a neighborhood watch.
95
00:05:04,689 --> 00:05:07,139
Okay, so why don't we get
everybody together tonight?
96
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,906
- We can do it here.
- Ooh, could I cater it?
97
00:05:08,907 --> 00:05:11,748
I've got some new ideas for
appetizers. I could wrap bacon around...
98
00:05:11,749 --> 00:05:14,869
Ooh, that sounds good.
99
00:05:15,237 --> 00:05:18,597
I'll go spread the word.
100
00:05:19,512 --> 00:05:20,556
Oh!
101
00:05:20,557 --> 00:05:22,360
My car got soaped.
102
00:05:22,361 --> 00:05:25,721
Where was Abe last night?
103
00:05:26,168 --> 00:05:27,874
It's Gabe.
104
00:05:27,875 --> 00:05:31,955
So... he's got a partner now, huh?
105
00:05:35,939 --> 00:05:37,874
[Door opens]
106
00:05:37,875 --> 00:05:39,356
- Hey.
- Hey.
107
00:05:39,357 --> 00:05:42,612
Oh, Gabe, Lauren stopped by.
She wants you to come over.
108
00:05:42,613 --> 00:05:45,204
- Oh, okay.
- Wait, hold on.
109
00:05:45,205 --> 00:05:50,340
Um, she said that she wants to
talk to you about your relationship.
110
00:05:50,341 --> 00:05:51,765
Hmm, okay.
111
00:05:51,766 --> 00:05:53,926
Hold on.
112
00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:57,260
Come sit with your
sister. We need to talk.
113
00:05:57,261 --> 00:05:58,770
- All right...
- [Sighs]
114
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He said, slightly creeped out.
115
00:06:02,872 --> 00:06:05,567
Look, do you know what it
means when a girl says that
116
00:06:05,568 --> 00:06:08,443
she wants to talk to you
about the relationship?
117
00:06:08,444 --> 00:06:12,768
That... she wants to talk
about the relationship?
118
00:06:12,769 --> 00:06:16,849
No! Girls never say what they mean.
119
00:06:17,312 --> 00:06:18,353
So...
120
00:06:18,354 --> 00:06:21,551
- Are you saying what you mean right now?
- Gabe... just...
121
00:06:21,552 --> 00:06:23,347
Listen to me, okay?
122
00:06:23,348 --> 00:06:26,355
Most of the time when a girl says...
123
00:06:26,356 --> 00:06:29,324
That she wants to talk
about the relationship.
124
00:06:29,325 --> 00:06:31,665
It means...
125
00:06:32,295 --> 00:06:35,331
Well, that she doesn't
want it to continue.
126
00:06:35,332 --> 00:06:38,475
You mean, she's going to dump me?
127
00:06:38,476 --> 00:06:41,345
I kind of think so.
128
00:06:41,346 --> 00:06:43,506
Oh, man.
129
00:06:43,648 --> 00:06:45,649
I thought everything was going great.
130
00:06:45,650 --> 00:06:48,830
Guys always think that.
131
00:06:49,854 --> 00:06:52,814
I can't believe I finally get a
girlfriend, and now she's going to dump me.
132
00:06:52,815 --> 00:06:54,539
I mean, I could be wrong.
133
00:06:54,540 --> 00:07:00,440
No, somebody who's been dumped as
many times as you knows the drill.
134
00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:04,735
- I can't believe this.
- Look, I know it's hard.
135
00:07:04,736 --> 00:07:07,074
But what does having a
girlfriend even mean at your age?
136
00:07:07,075 --> 00:07:10,332
All you guys do is go to the
movies and play video games.
137
00:07:10,333 --> 00:07:16,071
Great, so I'm devastated and
my relationship was meaningless.
138
00:07:16,072 --> 00:07:18,352
Come here.
139
00:07:21,547 --> 00:07:23,854
I know it hurts.
140
00:07:23,855 --> 00:07:26,148
Do you want to cry?
141
00:07:26,149 --> 00:07:30,469
I didn't until you started hugging me.
142
00:07:33,898 --> 00:07:36,425
Welcome, everybody, to
the first-ever meeting
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00:07:36,426 --> 00:07:39,147
of the Edgewood Drive
neighborhood watch.
144
00:07:39,148 --> 00:07:40,835
Objection!
145
00:07:40,836 --> 00:07:45,306
I think it should be called the
"Edgewood Drive neighborhood patrol".
146
00:07:45,307 --> 00:07:48,307
Sounds more official.
147
00:07:48,613 --> 00:07:50,234
Are we going to get T-shirts?
148
00:07:50,235 --> 00:07:53,112
And we're off to a great start.
149
00:07:53,113 --> 00:07:56,097
- Car's all clean, Mr. Doogan.
- Ah, thanks, Tommy.
150
00:07:56,098 --> 00:07:58,055
We've got to catch
whoever's soaping our cars.
151
00:07:58,056 --> 00:08:00,624
Yep, but first, we should
give 'em a nickname.
152
00:08:00,625 --> 00:08:04,519
Oh, I know... how
about "the mad soaper"?
153
00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:07,698
Wonder where she got that one.
154
00:08:07,699 --> 00:08:09,633
Is that all we're talking about?
155
00:08:09,634 --> 00:08:11,668
Because I park in my garage.
156
00:08:11,669 --> 00:08:14,571
Okay, but you care about
the rest of us, right?
157
00:08:14,572 --> 00:08:15,398
[Laughs]
158
00:08:15,399 --> 00:08:18,125
You people crack me up.
159
00:08:18,126 --> 00:08:21,185
- I'm out of here.
- Oh... uh...
160
00:08:21,186 --> 00:08:25,127
Before you go, Mrs. Dabney, crab puff?
161
00:08:25,128 --> 00:08:28,188
Don't mind if I do.
162
00:08:28,608 --> 00:08:30,828
Oh! Uh...
163
00:08:31,656 --> 00:08:34,296
I've got cats.
164
00:08:36,410 --> 00:08:41,932
Well, hope those kitty cats
enjoy the crab at $14 a pound.
165
00:08:41,933 --> 00:08:43,439
I have an idea.
166
00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:44,836
Go ahead, Mrs. Dobbs.
167
00:08:44,837 --> 00:08:50,668
I say we break into teams of two and
patrol the neighborhood after dark.
168
00:08:50,669 --> 00:08:52,436
What do you think, Bert?
169
00:08:52,437 --> 00:08:54,392
Well, I think that's a great idea.
170
00:08:54,393 --> 00:08:57,206
I'd like someone young
who can stay up late.
171
00:08:57,207 --> 00:08:58,590
I'll take him.
172
00:08:58,591 --> 00:08:59,962
I'm just here catering.
173
00:08:59,963 --> 00:09:04,763
You're either with us
or you're against us.
174
00:09:13,255 --> 00:09:15,189
Oh! Hi, Gabe. You want to come in?
175
00:09:15,190 --> 00:09:17,609
Uh, no. I want to do this out here.
176
00:09:17,610 --> 00:09:19,770
Do what?
177
00:09:20,512 --> 00:09:22,447
I'm breaking up with you.
178
00:09:22,448 --> 00:09:23,930
How does that feel?
179
00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:25,753
Bad.
180
00:09:25,754 --> 00:09:29,421
Good, that's what I was going for.
181
00:09:29,422 --> 00:09:31,514
But I thought things were going so well.
182
00:09:31,515 --> 00:09:36,035
Really? All we do is play
video games and go to movies.
183
00:09:36,036 --> 00:09:38,240
I thought you liked
doing that stuff with me.
184
00:09:38,241 --> 00:09:39,957
Oh, please.
185
00:09:39,958 --> 00:09:41,731
"Hey, wait till you get to level two".
186
00:09:41,732 --> 00:09:44,492
I was faking it.
187
00:09:45,652 --> 00:09:47,125
I can't believe this is happening.
188
00:09:47,126 --> 00:09:49,675
What are you talking about? You
were going to break up with me.
189
00:09:49,676 --> 00:09:50,933
Where did you get that idea?
190
00:09:50,934 --> 00:09:54,409
You said you wanted to talk about our
relationship, I know what that means.
191
00:09:54,410 --> 00:09:57,772
I wanted to update my status
to "in a relationship".
192
00:09:57,773 --> 00:09:59,908
I was just going to ask
if you were okay with that.
193
00:09:59,909 --> 00:10:03,809
But now I don't have to bother.
194
00:10:06,816 --> 00:10:08,796
Teddy!
195
00:10:10,220 --> 00:10:12,447
You ruined my life!
196
00:10:12,448 --> 00:10:15,624
Yeah yeah, what'd I do now?
197
00:10:15,625 --> 00:10:18,111
No, not you. I meant Teddy.
198
00:10:18,112 --> 00:10:20,512
Oh! Proceed.
199
00:10:21,064 --> 00:10:26,964
You destroyed my relationship.
I am never talking to you again.
200
00:10:27,070 --> 00:10:29,855
Get involved in a
14-year-old's romance?
201
00:10:29,856 --> 00:10:31,716
Yep.
202
00:10:32,538 --> 00:10:36,378
- Was that a good idea?
- Nope.
203
00:10:44,682 --> 00:10:47,910
Well, Charlie, I thought I'd
given Gabe some good advice.
204
00:10:47,911 --> 00:10:51,391
But boy, was I ever wrong.
205
00:10:51,915 --> 00:10:53,916
Gabe was really mad.
206
00:10:53,917 --> 00:10:58,657
And he was serious
about not talking to me.
207
00:10:59,195 --> 00:11:00,823
Hey, Gabe.
208
00:11:00,824 --> 00:11:04,184
He's not talking to you.
209
00:11:04,425 --> 00:11:06,991
Gabe, I've apologized like five times.
210
00:11:06,992 --> 00:11:10,155
I don't know what else to do.
211
00:11:10,156 --> 00:11:12,401
[Stammers] Come on!
212
00:11:12,402 --> 00:11:17,506
What do you want me to do?
Curl up in a hole and die?
213
00:11:17,507 --> 00:11:20,747
He says, "that's fine".
214
00:11:21,088 --> 00:11:23,956
Man, just say something.
215
00:11:23,957 --> 00:11:29,857
At least make fun of my outfit. Come on.
I wore this just to get a rise out of you.
216
00:11:33,555 --> 00:11:36,435
I can't say that.
217
00:11:39,279 --> 00:11:42,099
Ah, that's funny.
218
00:11:43,050 --> 00:11:46,830
- What did he say?
- I forgot.
219
00:11:52,453 --> 00:11:54,478
Well, here I am.
220
00:11:54,479 --> 00:11:56,562
Oh, hey, Mrs. Dobbs.
221
00:11:56,563 --> 00:12:01,084
Welcome to neighborhood
watch command central.
222
00:12:01,085 --> 00:12:02,941
You mean your porch?
223
00:12:02,942 --> 00:12:04,860
Yeah.
224
00:12:04,861 --> 00:12:06,409
Okay.
225
00:12:06,410 --> 00:12:09,832
Let's get some eyes on the street.
226
00:12:09,833 --> 00:12:13,004
Wow. Sure is dark tonight.
227
00:12:13,005 --> 00:12:16,519
Might help if you
take the lens caps off.
228
00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:19,161
Oh! Hey. [Laughs]
229
00:12:19,162 --> 00:12:21,323
Thanks, partner.
230
00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:23,225
Okay.
231
00:12:23,226 --> 00:12:25,146
Okay.
232
00:12:26,133 --> 00:12:28,871
Yeah, he's out there.
233
00:12:28,872 --> 00:12:32,412
I can feel it in my bones.
234
00:12:32,895 --> 00:12:36,614
Watch a lot of cop shows, do you?
235
00:12:36,615 --> 00:12:38,595
10-4.
236
00:12:40,441 --> 00:12:44,521
Hey, you know something, Mrs. Dobbs?
237
00:12:44,923 --> 00:12:49,414
You and I have never really had a chance
to sit down and get to know each other.
238
00:12:49,415 --> 00:12:51,242
- [Chuckles]
- Tell me about yourself.
239
00:12:51,243 --> 00:12:53,453
Well, I'm a widow.
240
00:12:53,454 --> 00:12:55,798
I don't like to stay up late.
241
00:12:55,799 --> 00:12:59,030
And this bench is uncomfortable.
242
00:12:59,031 --> 00:13:01,371
Good night.
243
00:13:08,235 --> 00:13:10,974
[Jazz music playing]
244
00:13:10,975 --> 00:13:12,809
It's a nice car, Bert.
245
00:13:12,810 --> 00:13:14,639
I especially like the seat warmers.
246
00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:17,460
Oh. Those are on?
247
00:13:17,825 --> 00:13:22,354
Good. I thought I was
having a hot flash.
248
00:13:22,355 --> 00:13:24,902
Nope. Your buns are just like mine.
249
00:13:24,903 --> 00:13:27,603
Warm and toasty.
250
00:13:28,672 --> 00:13:33,052
And now let's talk about anything else.
251
00:13:34,323 --> 00:13:39,936
You know, being out on patrol like this
reminds me of my days in the service.
252
00:13:39,937 --> 00:13:44,117
- You were in the Army?
- No! The Postal Service.
253
00:13:44,118 --> 00:13:46,222
You're listening to KDOZ.
254
00:13:46,223 --> 00:13:49,178
KDOZ, mellow music for mellow people.
255
00:13:49,179 --> 00:13:52,664
We put the Z's in easy listening.
256
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:54,674
You mind if I change the station?
257
00:13:54,675 --> 00:13:58,755
Only if you can find a better one.
258
00:13:58,966 --> 00:14:02,206
There is no better one.
259
00:14:04,559 --> 00:14:06,394
Think we should drive around a bit?
260
00:14:06,395 --> 00:14:09,186
Seems like a lot of trouble.
261
00:14:09,187 --> 00:14:10,653
You're right.
262
00:14:10,654 --> 00:14:14,554
Let's let the crime come to us.
263
00:14:14,916 --> 00:14:16,776
Mmm.
264
00:14:23,850 --> 00:14:27,374
So, Deputy Doug lets
you use his patrol car?
265
00:14:27,375 --> 00:14:30,931
Deputy Doug doesn't
know anything about this.
266
00:14:30,932 --> 00:14:33,588
He's away for the weekend.
267
00:14:33,589 --> 00:14:38,113
- What if he finds out?
- Just more money for the swear jar.
268
00:14:38,114 --> 00:14:41,330
I gotta say, it's kind of exciting
riding around in a police car.
269
00:14:41,331 --> 00:14:42,381
Oh.
270
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:47,662
Must be fun for you to
sit up front for a change.
271
00:14:48,950 --> 00:14:50,798
What's that supposed to mean?
272
00:14:50,799 --> 00:14:53,954
I'm just guessing you've
been arrested before.
273
00:14:53,955 --> 00:14:57,255
Because of your attitude.
274
00:14:57,959 --> 00:15:00,961
Okay, you know what? That
is highly offensive, Debbie.
275
00:15:00,962 --> 00:15:04,292
I have not been arrested.
276
00:15:04,293 --> 00:15:09,993
I was simply asked if I'd
like to take a ride downtown.
277
00:15:16,378 --> 00:15:19,018
[Doorbell rings]
278
00:15:19,171 --> 00:15:22,222
- Hi.
- Hello, neighbor.
279
00:15:22,223 --> 00:15:24,905
- Well, you're in a good mood.
- Of course I am.
280
00:15:24,906 --> 00:15:26,899
Gabe and Lauren are broken up.
281
00:15:26,900 --> 00:15:28,904
The Devil Child is gone.
282
00:15:28,905 --> 00:15:31,905
This house is clean.
283
00:15:32,366 --> 00:15:36,369
Uh, look. The thing is, Gabe and
Lauren broke up because of me.
284
00:15:36,370 --> 00:15:39,130
Give Mama a hug!
285
00:15:39,573 --> 00:15:41,408
Can I talk to Lauren?
286
00:15:41,409 --> 00:15:42,542
Lauren?
287
00:15:42,543 --> 00:15:45,245
My favorite neighbor wants to see you.
288
00:15:45,246 --> 00:15:46,479
[Squeals]
289
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:48,998
Oh when the saints go marching in.
290
00:15:48,999 --> 00:15:51,518
Oh when the saints go marching in.
291
00:15:51,519 --> 00:15:53,809
Hey, Lauren. Can we talk?
292
00:15:53,810 --> 00:15:55,642
Sure.
293
00:15:55,643 --> 00:15:57,546
Um...
294
00:15:57,547 --> 00:15:59,477
Listen...
295
00:15:59,478 --> 00:16:02,429
Gabe breaking up with
you was all my fault.
296
00:16:02,430 --> 00:16:04,896
I told him that you were gonna dump him,
297
00:16:04,897 --> 00:16:08,788
and so to avoid getting
hurt, he dumped you first.
298
00:16:08,789 --> 00:16:11,918
- Why would you tell him that?
- I was helping.
299
00:16:11,919 --> 00:16:15,639
- Was that a good idea?
- No.
300
00:16:17,024 --> 00:16:22,033
And so ever since you broke
up, Gabe's been devastated.
301
00:16:22,034 --> 00:16:24,189
Do you think you could
give him another chance?
302
00:16:24,190 --> 00:16:27,275
- Will you stay out of it?
- Absolutely.
303
00:16:27,276 --> 00:16:29,489
Then... yes.
304
00:16:29,490 --> 00:16:31,458
Oh, when the saints,
oh, when the saints.
305
00:16:31,459 --> 00:16:33,240
Go marching in, go marching in.
306
00:16:33,241 --> 00:16:36,396
Oh when the saints go marching in.
307
00:16:36,397 --> 00:16:40,276
You know what? Don't tell her
until tomorrow, let her have tonight.
308
00:16:40,277 --> 00:16:44,237
When the saints go marching in.
309
00:16:49,822 --> 00:16:53,353
- Man. Somebody got soaped.
- Whose car is this?
310
00:16:53,354 --> 00:16:55,394
[Gasps]
311
00:16:57,795 --> 00:16:59,920
Mom? Mrs. Dooley?
312
00:16:59,921 --> 00:17:01,986
You're the ones that have
been soaping the windows?
313
00:17:01,987 --> 00:17:05,086
Hey, Bert, wake up. We caught them.
314
00:17:05,087 --> 00:17:07,261
You didn't catch anything.
315
00:17:07,262 --> 00:17:10,330
You fell asleep in your car,
and that hooligan struck again.
316
00:17:10,331 --> 00:17:13,233
It's MJ's fault. He
was supposed to stay up.
317
00:17:13,234 --> 00:17:16,051
In this thing? Man, I don't know
how you stay up when you drive.
318
00:17:16,052 --> 00:17:18,692
Who says I do?
319
00:17:19,207 --> 00:17:22,919
- You two should be ashamed of yourselves.
- Completely irresponsible.
320
00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:25,803
Hey, check it out. A police car
rolling backward down the street.
321
00:17:25,804 --> 00:17:27,941
Oh! Smoking biscuits!
322
00:17:27,942 --> 00:17:31,422
I forgot to set the brake!
323
00:17:37,392 --> 00:17:40,327
Hey. You guys are back together.
324
00:17:40,328 --> 00:17:43,088
Oh, happy ending.
325
00:17:48,825 --> 00:17:50,570
Oh, come on.
326
00:17:50,571 --> 00:17:53,822
You're still not talking to me?
327
00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:57,183
Guys, everything is fixed.
328
00:18:00,415 --> 00:18:05,632
Actually, we decided it would be better
for our relationship to not talk to you.
329
00:18:05,633 --> 00:18:09,423
Besides, you've got bigger problems.
330
00:18:09,424 --> 00:18:11,284
You!
331
00:18:18,814 --> 00:18:20,562
Okay.
332
00:18:20,563 --> 00:18:25,205
So, last night's neighborhood
watch didn't go so well.
333
00:18:25,206 --> 00:18:27,207
My car got soaped.
334
00:18:27,208 --> 00:18:32,068
My rose bushes got run
over by a police car.
335
00:18:32,488 --> 00:18:37,648
Well, that will forever
remain a mystery, I guess.
336
00:18:38,453 --> 00:18:41,421
- Here are your keys, Mr. Doogan.
- Oh, thanks, Tommy.
337
00:18:41,422 --> 00:18:45,325
You're the only good thing
about this whole disaster.
338
00:18:45,326 --> 00:18:48,195
- See you, everybody.
- Not so fast, Tommy.
339
00:18:48,196 --> 00:18:49,980
Neighbors, I think I
just cracked this case.
340
00:18:49,981 --> 00:18:51,365
[All gasp]
341
00:18:51,366 --> 00:18:54,171
It's so simple a fool could solve it.
342
00:18:54,172 --> 00:18:56,512
And I did.
343
00:18:57,405 --> 00:19:01,075
Who is the one person who's
benefited from all this?
344
00:19:01,076 --> 00:19:05,479
The one who gets paid every
time the cars get soaped.
345
00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:06,946
That's right.
346
00:19:06,947 --> 00:19:09,182
The mad soaper is...
347
00:19:09,183 --> 00:19:10,728
Little Tommy Dixon!
348
00:19:10,729 --> 00:19:12,495
[All gasp]
349
00:19:12,496 --> 00:19:14,771
Actually, it was me.
350
00:19:14,772 --> 00:19:17,557
That was my next guess.
351
00:19:17,558 --> 00:19:19,359
Mrs. Dobbs?
352
00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:23,325
My stakeout partner?
Did not see this coming.
353
00:19:23,326 --> 00:19:28,042
I came up with the whole scheme because
I wanted to spend time with Bert Doogan.
354
00:19:28,043 --> 00:19:29,762
[All gasp]
355
00:19:29,763 --> 00:19:32,205
I was hoping I could
go on patrol with him.
356
00:19:32,206 --> 00:19:34,629
It would have worked too
if it hadn't been for PJ.
357
00:19:34,630 --> 00:19:37,390
No no, it's DJ.
358
00:19:38,446 --> 00:19:42,798
It should have been me
napping in the car with Bert.
359
00:19:42,799 --> 00:19:44,568
So what do you think, Bert?
360
00:19:44,569 --> 00:19:47,509
You and Mrs. Dobbs?
361
00:19:49,257 --> 00:19:51,062
Can you cook?
362
00:19:51,063 --> 00:19:52,259
Yes.
363
00:19:52,260 --> 00:19:55,320
Okay. We're together.
364
00:19:56,282 --> 00:19:58,298
Well. That's it then.
365
00:19:58,299 --> 00:19:59,760
Crime's been solved.
366
00:19:59,761 --> 00:20:04,026
I guess there's really
only one thing left to say.
367
00:20:04,027 --> 00:20:06,310
Neighborhood watch... one.
368
00:20:06,311 --> 00:20:09,371
Criminal scum... zero.
369
00:20:10,578 --> 00:20:12,888
How long you been sitting on that one?
370
00:20:12,889 --> 00:20:15,109
Two days.
371
00:20:16,693 --> 00:20:18,373
_.
372
00:20:23,895 --> 00:20:28,607
Anyway, Charlie, I'm really glad that
Gabe and Lauren are back together.
373
00:20:28,608 --> 00:20:32,628
But he's still not talking to me.
374
00:20:33,077 --> 00:20:37,504
Wait a minute. I just remembered, there's
one thing that always works on Gabe Duncan.
375
00:20:37,505 --> 00:20:40,696
Ever since he was a little kid.
376
00:20:40,697 --> 00:20:42,857
Tickling.
377
00:20:43,299 --> 00:20:44,876
Tickling.
378
00:20:44,877 --> 00:20:47,251
Why didn't I think of that?
379
00:20:47,252 --> 00:20:49,472
Oh, Toby?
380
00:20:54,455 --> 00:20:55,589
So...
381
00:20:55,590 --> 00:21:01,230
I guess now that he's 14,
tickling game is a bad idea.
382
00:21:03,464 --> 00:21:08,568
I really have to watch
these things to the very end.
383
00:21:08,569 --> 00:21:10,635
It's not over until she says...
384
00:21:10,636 --> 00:21:13,516
Good luck, Charlie.
385
00:21:20,510 --> 00:21:23,392
- Hi.
- Who are you?
386
00:21:23,393 --> 00:21:25,133
I'm you in the future.
387
00:21:25,134 --> 00:21:26,923
I've come back in a time machine.
388
00:21:26,924 --> 00:21:28,844
Okay.
389
00:21:29,438 --> 00:21:32,107
So, what do you think?
390
00:21:32,108 --> 00:21:33,421
You're pretty.
391
00:21:33,422 --> 00:21:35,146
Aren't we?
392
00:21:35,147 --> 00:21:37,018
Anything you want to ask me?
393
00:21:37,019 --> 00:21:39,512
Did Toby move in with grandma?
394
00:21:39,513 --> 00:21:42,288
Still working on it.
395
00:21:42,289 --> 00:21:43,890
What's Gabe doing?
396
00:21:43,891 --> 00:21:46,351
Eight to 10.
397
00:21:47,018 --> 00:21:48,568
What about mom?
398
00:21:48,569 --> 00:21:49,635
What about mom?
399
00:21:49,636 --> 00:21:52,260
Does it get any easier?
400
00:21:52,261 --> 00:21:53,506
[Sighs]
401
00:21:53,507 --> 00:21:55,479
I could lie and give you hope.
402
00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:57,082
But no.
403
00:21:57,083 --> 00:21:58,478
So what do you want?
404
00:21:58,479 --> 00:22:01,481
Nothing. I just wanted to
try out my new time machine.
405
00:22:01,482 --> 00:22:04,060
I'm off to go see some
dinosaurs. Want to come?
406
00:22:04,061 --> 00:22:05,981
Okay.
407
00:22:06,641 --> 00:22:12,541
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408
00:22:12,591 --> 00:22:17,141
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