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Subs created by: David Coleman.
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Ooh, he's so adorable. It
makes me want to have another...
3
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All: No!
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Family photo taken.
5
00:00:15,353 --> 00:00:16,596
Oh.
6
00:00:16,597 --> 00:00:18,468
Okay, guys, listen up.
7
00:00:18,469 --> 00:00:22,122
If you could describe me in
one word, what would it be?
8
00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:24,045
Just say the first thing
that comes to your mind.
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00:00:24,046 --> 00:00:25,734
- Go.
- Spirited.
10
00:00:25,735 --> 00:00:27,204
- Annoying.
- Pushy.
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Sausage.
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00:00:29,706 --> 00:00:31,301
Dad, what does that mean?
13
00:00:31,302 --> 00:00:36,014
That I want more sausa...
what are we talking about?
14
00:00:36,015 --> 00:00:37,523
What's with all the questions?
15
00:00:37,524 --> 00:00:39,458
Oh, it's for my college applications.
16
00:00:39,459 --> 00:00:41,460
I'm working on the most
important part of all...
17
00:00:41,461 --> 00:00:42,718
The personal essay.
18
00:00:42,719 --> 00:00:44,730
So I have to write it based
on one of these topics.
19
00:00:44,731 --> 00:00:47,186
A single page. It could
determine my entire future.
20
00:00:47,187 --> 00:00:51,331
500 words that sum up the
essence of Teddy Duncan.
21
00:00:51,332 --> 00:00:52,955
- Long-winded.
- Boring.
22
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Sausage.
23
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Well, I still haven't got my sausage.
24
00:00:57,677 --> 00:00:59,685
Okay, topic number two.
25
00:00:59,686 --> 00:01:03,515
Who is the most influential
person in your life?
26
00:01:03,516 --> 00:01:05,318
Hello?
27
00:01:05,319 --> 00:01:07,553
Mom, why are you doing that?
28
00:01:07,554 --> 00:01:10,479
Oh, I'm sorry, would
you prefer ta-da or,
29
00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:13,592
ding, ding, ding, or
you're looking at her?
30
00:01:13,593 --> 00:01:16,653
How about not gonna happen?
31
00:01:16,654 --> 00:01:17,902
( Rock music playing )
32
00:01:17,903 --> 00:01:21,039
Today's all burnt toast
running late and dad jokes.
33
00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:24,188
"Has anybody seen my left shoe?"
34
00:01:24,189 --> 00:01:27,713
I close my eyes, take a bite
grab a ride, laugh out loud.
35
00:01:27,714 --> 00:01:31,049
There it is up on the roof.
36
00:01:31,050 --> 00:01:34,232
I've been there, I survived.
37
00:01:34,233 --> 00:01:37,155
So just take my advice.
38
00:01:37,156 --> 00:01:40,925
Hang in there, baby things are crazy.
39
00:01:40,926 --> 00:01:43,847
But I know your future's bright.
40
00:01:43,848 --> 00:01:47,472
Hang in there, baby, there's no maybe.
41
00:01:47,473 --> 00:01:50,001
Everything turns out all right.
42
00:01:50,002 --> 00:01:52,534
Sure life is up and down.
43
00:01:52,535 --> 00:01:56,074
But trust me, it comes back around.
44
00:01:56,075 --> 00:02:00,755
You're gonna love who
you turn out to be.
45
00:02:01,473 --> 00:02:04,473
Hang in there, baby.
46
00:02:11,873 --> 00:02:14,675
Hey, guys, check this out.
47
00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:17,286
A.V.M. is coming to Colorado.
48
00:02:17,287 --> 00:02:19,321
Hey, that's great, dad.
49
00:02:19,322 --> 00:02:21,261
What's A.V.M.?
50
00:02:21,262 --> 00:02:23,984
Teddy, how many times
have we talked about this?
51
00:02:23,985 --> 00:02:27,165
No follow-up questions.
52
00:02:27,964 --> 00:02:31,825
A.V.M. stands for animal,
vegetable, mineral...
53
00:02:31,826 --> 00:02:34,995
One of the greatest bands of the '80s.
54
00:02:34,996 --> 00:02:38,766
They were a little bit punk, a
little bit metal, a little bit glam.
55
00:02:38,767 --> 00:02:41,250
I'm a little bit bored.
56
00:02:41,251 --> 00:02:43,405
And I scored two tickets.
57
00:02:43,406 --> 00:02:46,041
So who wants to come with me?
58
00:02:46,042 --> 00:02:50,073
Oh dad, I'd love to, but I have
to work on my College Essay.
59
00:02:50,074 --> 00:02:55,974
Oh yeah, and you know I probably should
start mine too, it's only four years away.
60
00:02:56,014 --> 00:03:01,091
You know what? You guys have
no idea what you're missing.
61
00:03:01,092 --> 00:03:03,192
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, PJ.
62
00:03:03,193 --> 00:03:06,407
- Oh, hey, dad's in the kitchen.
- ( Shushing )
63
00:03:06,408 --> 00:03:12,308
If PJ wants to go into the kitchen,
let him go into the kitchen.
64
00:03:13,930 --> 00:03:15,730
Mm.
65
00:03:17,347 --> 00:03:21,497
- I feel so dirty.
- It gets easier.
66
00:03:21,498 --> 00:03:23,538
Really?
67
00:03:27,205 --> 00:03:29,965
( Doorbell rings )
68
00:03:30,819 --> 00:03:34,146
- Are you Gabe Duncan?
- That depends. Who are you?
69
00:03:34,147 --> 00:03:35,981
My name's Devon.
70
00:03:35,982 --> 00:03:39,758
Are you gonna serve me with papers?
71
00:03:39,759 --> 00:03:42,863
No. I go to your old
school, Lincoln Elementary.
72
00:03:42,864 --> 00:03:46,636
It's an honor to meet you,
Sir. Your pranks are legendary.
73
00:03:46,637 --> 00:03:49,351
- It's Devon, you say?
- That's right.
74
00:03:49,352 --> 00:03:50,838
Come on in, Devon.
75
00:03:50,839 --> 00:03:52,639
I can't believe it's really you.
76
00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:56,844
You know people still talk about
the great toilet paper caper.
77
00:03:56,845 --> 00:04:00,438
Uh-huh, one of my proudest moments.
78
00:04:00,439 --> 00:04:02,868
You know I made the Principal cry.
79
00:04:02,869 --> 00:04:06,114
You can't put a price on that.
80
00:04:06,115 --> 00:04:08,347
I'm here because I need your help.
81
00:04:08,348 --> 00:04:10,365
I want to prank one of my teachers.
82
00:04:10,366 --> 00:04:13,607
Oh, sorry, kid. My
pranking days are over.
83
00:04:13,608 --> 00:04:16,730
But hey, thanks for the
trip down memory lane.
84
00:04:16,731 --> 00:04:19,354
Too bad. I was really
hoping to get Mr. Singer.
85
00:04:19,355 --> 00:04:22,655
( Dramatic Western theme )
86
00:04:23,043 --> 00:04:25,083
Singer.
87
00:04:25,133 --> 00:04:28,235
Mr. Singer. I thought I'd never
have to hear that name again.
88
00:04:28,236 --> 00:04:31,939
- You know him?
- He was the meanest teacher I ever had.
89
00:04:31,940 --> 00:04:34,241
I created The Duncan Dunk just for him.
90
00:04:34,242 --> 00:04:40,073
The Duncan Dunk? It really does
exist? I thought it was just a myth.
91
00:04:40,074 --> 00:04:43,508
I dropped a bucket of glop
on him so foul smelling...
92
00:04:43,509 --> 00:04:47,422
His wife made him live
in the garage for a month.
93
00:04:47,423 --> 00:04:49,223
But he paid me back.
94
00:04:49,224 --> 00:04:52,026
He made the rest of my 4th
grade year a living nightmare.
95
00:04:52,027 --> 00:04:54,681
He's doing the same thing
to me. I want to get him.
96
00:04:54,682 --> 00:04:56,330
I want to get him bad.
97
00:04:56,331 --> 00:04:58,298
I like your spirit, kid.
98
00:04:58,299 --> 00:05:00,593
But are you prepared
to do what it takes?
99
00:05:00,594 --> 00:05:04,444
The hard work? The meticulous
preparation? The tireless training?
100
00:05:04,445 --> 00:05:05,906
What do you mean?
101
00:05:05,907 --> 00:05:09,309
We're gonna need about an hour.
Come back tomorrow after school.
102
00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:11,955
All right. I'll be here.
103
00:05:11,956 --> 00:05:14,356
Gabe Duncan.
104
00:05:16,174 --> 00:05:21,934
Ah, just when I thought I
was out, they pull me back in.
105
00:05:25,614 --> 00:05:27,425
( Teddy's voice ) Okay,
topic number three...
106
00:05:27,426 --> 00:05:28,998
Choose your most embarrassing moment,
107
00:05:28,999 --> 00:05:31,575
and write about how the
experience affected you.
108
00:05:31,576 --> 00:05:33,594
Most embarrassing moment.
109
00:05:33,595 --> 00:05:36,955
Most embarrassing moment...
110
00:05:46,147 --> 00:05:47,830
Nothing there.
111
00:05:47,831 --> 00:05:53,731
Next question. Describe your family
and the impact they've had on your life.
112
00:06:01,029 --> 00:06:03,969
Way too much there.
113
00:06:04,359 --> 00:06:06,770
Hey, honey. How's it going?
114
00:06:06,771 --> 00:06:08,336
Not too good.
115
00:06:08,337 --> 00:06:11,305
Still can't think of a
topic for my College Essay.
116
00:06:11,306 --> 00:06:13,558
Too bad you don't have one.
117
00:06:13,559 --> 00:06:16,259
Oh, but you do.
118
00:06:17,702 --> 00:06:20,642
My mother: My star?
119
00:06:22,470 --> 00:06:27,154
The most influential person I know
is a lady with sparkle and glow.
120
00:06:27,155 --> 00:06:29,738
She may not be tall,
but she's got it all.
121
00:06:29,739 --> 00:06:31,992
She even appears on a show.
122
00:06:31,993 --> 00:06:36,297
Good Morning, Denver. Weekdays at 8:00.
123
00:06:36,298 --> 00:06:39,080
How many essays are gonna
open with a limerick?
124
00:06:39,081 --> 00:06:40,920
Including mine?
125
00:06:40,921 --> 00:06:42,841
None.
126
00:06:44,055 --> 00:06:46,485
You'll be back.
127
00:06:46,486 --> 00:06:49,186
It's your room.
128
00:06:52,247 --> 00:06:54,348
- Hey, Charlie.
- Where you going?
129
00:06:54,349 --> 00:06:57,351
- To a concert.
- The Gurgles?
130
00:06:57,352 --> 00:06:59,344
Ah, I wish.
131
00:06:59,345 --> 00:07:01,779
No, it's some old band dad loves.
132
00:07:01,780 --> 00:07:03,888
I'm sorry.
133
00:07:03,889 --> 00:07:05,734
Well, I'm not.
134
00:07:05,735 --> 00:07:09,731
Dad does a lot of nice
things for me, for all of us.
135
00:07:09,732 --> 00:07:11,777
I'm glad I have a chance
to do something for him.
136
00:07:11,778 --> 00:07:14,718
Bob: You ready, PJ?
137
00:07:17,939 --> 00:07:21,604
You never make it easy, do you, dad?
138
00:07:21,605 --> 00:07:24,005
Who's that?
139
00:07:28,651 --> 00:07:33,093
So Mr. Singer always enters his
classroom first thing in the morning.
140
00:07:33,094 --> 00:07:36,500
So the bucket must be in place
the night before, which is tonight.
141
00:07:36,501 --> 00:07:37,839
Got it.
142
00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:39,940
Do you?
143
00:07:41,325 --> 00:07:43,896
What angle should the
bucket be placed at?
144
00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:45,817
Um...
145
00:07:45,875 --> 00:07:48,455
I don't know.
146
00:07:48,663 --> 00:07:50,989
You don't...
147
00:07:50,990 --> 00:07:52,910
Know.
148
00:07:52,976 --> 00:07:55,803
I guess you don't got it, do you?
149
00:07:55,804 --> 00:07:58,346
No, Sir, I don't.
150
00:07:58,347 --> 00:08:01,784
The bucket has to be
at a 45-degree angle.
151
00:08:01,785 --> 00:08:04,539
And the door has to be
open exactly 3 inches.
152
00:08:04,540 --> 00:08:07,054
Not two. Not four.
153
00:08:07,055 --> 00:08:08,088
Three.
154
00:08:08,089 --> 00:08:11,120
45 degrees, 3 inches.
155
00:08:11,121 --> 00:08:14,995
Remember... pranking is not
just an art, it's also a science.
156
00:08:14,996 --> 00:08:19,934
I should know. I came up with this
prank while flunking art and science.
157
00:08:19,935 --> 00:08:22,202
I'm flunking those too!
158
00:08:22,203 --> 00:08:24,723
No way. Nice!
159
00:08:25,111 --> 00:08:27,841
Okay. Now let's talk glop.
160
00:08:27,842 --> 00:08:29,843
Here are your ingredients...
161
00:08:29,844 --> 00:08:35,509
Water-based paint, tuna oil for the
smell, molasses for the consistency.
162
00:08:35,510 --> 00:08:38,018
And of course, pancake batter.
163
00:08:38,019 --> 00:08:39,119
Pancake batter?
164
00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:45,020
If there's a better way to hold chicken
gizzards together, I have not heard it.
165
00:08:45,293 --> 00:08:48,533
There's one more thing.
166
00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:56,627
Wow. One of your famous skull hoodies.
167
00:08:56,628 --> 00:08:58,607
I want you to wear that tomorrow.
168
00:08:58,608 --> 00:09:00,921
When Mr. Singer wipes
away that blinding glob,
169
00:09:00,922 --> 00:09:04,262
I want the first thing
he sees to be that skull.
170
00:09:04,263 --> 00:09:05,588
Then he'll know.
171
00:09:05,589 --> 00:09:08,889
( Dramatic Western theme )
172
00:09:10,942 --> 00:09:14,021
With all due respect,
Sir, what happened to you?
173
00:09:14,022 --> 00:09:19,922
You know, I have no idea. I
come from a really nice family.
174
00:09:23,231 --> 00:09:26,291
( Rock music playing )
175
00:09:28,809 --> 00:09:32,349
Ha! I am so ready to rock.
176
00:09:32,421 --> 00:09:36,310
Okay, let me tell you a
little bit about A.V.M.
177
00:09:36,311 --> 00:09:38,440
Little as possible, please.
178
00:09:38,441 --> 00:09:40,391
Boys in the band.
179
00:09:40,392 --> 00:09:45,083
You got mineral A.K.A.
legendary drummer Cliff Ledge.
180
00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:50,844
Then there's lead singer
vegetable A.K.A. Russell Sprouts.
181
00:09:50,952 --> 00:09:52,555
What's animal's name?
182
00:09:52,556 --> 00:09:54,536
Steve.
183
00:09:55,868 --> 00:09:59,648
Oh, man. This traffic is awful.
184
00:09:59,717 --> 00:10:01,081
Oh, you know what?
185
00:10:01,082 --> 00:10:04,004
Good thing your old
man knows a shortcut.
186
00:10:04,005 --> 00:10:06,809
Oh... are you sure about this?
187
00:10:06,810 --> 00:10:10,210
- Shouldn't we stay on the main road?
- No! We can't be late.
188
00:10:10,211 --> 00:10:15,516
They open every show with their
haunting ballad She's a Heifer.
189
00:10:15,517 --> 00:10:19,177
The song always makes me cry.
190
00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:25,981
First of all, let me just say...
191
00:10:25,982 --> 00:10:27,619
Welcome, neighbors.
192
00:10:27,620 --> 00:10:30,680
Thank you for coming.
193
00:10:31,897 --> 00:10:37,297
As I'm sure you all know,
I am applying to college.
194
00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:41,383
Well, I am.
195
00:10:41,384 --> 00:10:46,201
So I've decided to write my
College Essay on the topic...
196
00:10:46,202 --> 00:10:50,095
How have my neighbors shaped
me into the person I am today?
197
00:10:50,096 --> 00:10:51,611
And that's where you guys come in.
198
00:10:51,612 --> 00:10:53,373
I have a question.
199
00:10:53,374 --> 00:10:55,847
Who are they?
200
00:10:55,848 --> 00:10:57,648
They're your neighbors, Bert.
201
00:10:57,649 --> 00:11:01,789
Hence the words, "welcome, neighbors".
202
00:11:02,397 --> 00:11:04,325
I'm Estelle Dabney.
203
00:11:04,326 --> 00:11:07,043
And I'm Debbie Dooley. How you doing?
204
00:11:07,044 --> 00:11:10,025
How am I doing? You really want to know?
205
00:11:10,026 --> 00:11:15,126
It's just a catchphrase
I use, so... no, thanks.
206
00:11:15,767 --> 00:11:17,926
Ladies, this is Bert Dugan.
207
00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:19,711
I know who he is.
208
00:11:19,712 --> 00:11:22,807
He mows his lawn in those tiny shorts.
209
00:11:22,808 --> 00:11:25,148
( Shudders )
210
00:11:26,957 --> 00:11:31,530
You know what I always think
is a fun fashion option?
211
00:11:31,531 --> 00:11:33,511
Pants.
212
00:11:34,686 --> 00:11:37,589
Okay, all right, we're
getting a little bit off topic.
213
00:11:37,590 --> 00:11:40,128
Let's get back to the shaping.
214
00:11:40,129 --> 00:11:45,367
Okay, so, what's the most valuable
life lesson you've learned?
215
00:11:45,368 --> 00:11:48,766
- Never marry a redhead.
- Or a deputy.
216
00:11:48,767 --> 00:11:51,407
Or Fred Dabney.
217
00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:55,840
Okay, guys, look, we've been living
next to each other for all these years.
218
00:11:55,841 --> 00:12:00,950
There must be some sort of impact
we've had on each other's lives.
219
00:12:00,951 --> 00:12:03,982
- I'd like to say something.
- Great, Bert, get us started.
220
00:12:03,983 --> 00:12:06,895
Your Christmas lights are still up.
221
00:12:06,896 --> 00:12:11,183
Up like those tiny,
tiny shorts you wear.
222
00:12:11,184 --> 00:12:16,047
Why, it's like the South of
France right here in Denver.
223
00:12:16,048 --> 00:12:20,185
As long as we're complaining, why do
you leave your trash cans on the street?
224
00:12:20,186 --> 00:12:23,149
- I never know when they're coming.
- Pickup is Tuesday.
225
00:12:23,150 --> 00:12:25,836
Both: It's always Tuesday.
226
00:12:25,837 --> 00:12:30,169
Yeah? What about holiday weeks, huh?
Oh, you didn't think about that, did you?
227
00:12:30,170 --> 00:12:31,809
Well, think about this.
228
00:12:31,810 --> 00:12:34,870
( Overlapping arguing )
229
00:12:35,069 --> 00:12:40,649
Guys, stop. Stop it. Stop
fighting and start shaping me.
230
00:12:43,025 --> 00:12:48,545
You know, I used to think you were the good
one, but you're just as bad as Abe and RJ.
231
00:12:48,546 --> 00:12:51,933
- It's Gabe and PJ.
- Who cares? I'm out of here.
232
00:12:51,934 --> 00:12:54,383
Right behind you.
233
00:12:54,384 --> 00:12:58,065
Thanks for having us
over. Hope that helped.
234
00:12:58,066 --> 00:13:00,946
It didn't at all.
235
00:13:01,641 --> 00:13:04,512
Just another catchphrase, Sweetie.
236
00:13:04,513 --> 00:13:06,733
Bye, now.
237
00:13:22,329 --> 00:13:25,215
Gee, this road's getting
kind of narrow, huh?
238
00:13:25,216 --> 00:13:29,823
Dad, we're not on a road.
We're driving in the woods.
239
00:13:29,824 --> 00:13:32,146
It says it's a road on the GPS.
240
00:13:32,147 --> 00:13:35,133
It says projected road.
241
00:13:35,134 --> 00:13:36,714
( Brakes squeak )
242
00:13:36,715 --> 00:13:40,074
Okay, all right. Maybe we should
just get back on the main drag.
243
00:13:40,075 --> 00:13:41,946
( Gears shift )
244
00:13:41,947 --> 00:13:43,500
( Tires spinning )
245
00:13:43,501 --> 00:13:45,785
Great. Stuck in the mud.
246
00:13:45,786 --> 00:13:48,600
- Now what?
- No problem. No problem.
247
00:13:48,601 --> 00:13:51,559
I paid extra for roadside assistance.
Let's see what they can do.
248
00:13:51,560 --> 00:13:53,409
( Ringback tone )
249
00:13:53,410 --> 00:13:56,510
Female operator: Roadside assistance.
What is your life-threatening emergency?
250
00:13:56,511 --> 00:14:00,533
Yes. We're late for an A.V.M concert!
251
00:14:00,534 --> 00:14:01,968
Please hold.
252
00:14:01,969 --> 00:14:05,569
( Easy listening music plays )
253
00:14:09,843 --> 00:14:14,643
- You think she's coming back?
- I wouldn't.
254
00:14:19,453 --> 00:14:22,221
( Teddy's voice ) Okay. Question five.
255
00:14:22,222 --> 00:14:28,122
If you could go back in time, what period
of history would you choose and why?
256
00:14:28,629 --> 00:14:30,419
( Yawns )
257
00:14:30,420 --> 00:14:32,398
Oh, I need a break.
258
00:14:32,399 --> 00:14:37,919
Maybe I'll take a little
catnap. Wake up ready to go.
259
00:14:48,461 --> 00:14:51,312
Oh, look what Charlie drew.
260
00:14:51,313 --> 00:14:54,983
Oh! Isn't that cute. It's a...
261
00:14:54,984 --> 00:14:57,823
It's a... help me out here.
262
00:14:57,824 --> 00:15:00,231
I think it's a hunter
chasing a dinosaur.
263
00:15:00,232 --> 00:15:02,289
Oh, Charlie.
264
00:15:02,290 --> 00:15:07,810
Honey, dinosaurs have been
extinct for like three years.
265
00:15:09,043 --> 00:15:11,948
Oh, there he is. Did you find a job yet?
266
00:15:11,949 --> 00:15:15,249
No. It jungle out there.
267
00:15:16,674 --> 00:15:18,788
Why does he talk like that?
268
00:15:18,789 --> 00:15:22,629
He's not as evolved as we are.
269
00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:30,581
My Queen.
270
00:15:30,582 --> 00:15:33,703
May I present the fool.
271
00:15:33,704 --> 00:15:35,905
Yeah, about that.
272
00:15:35,906 --> 00:15:37,592
Silence.
273
00:15:37,593 --> 00:15:43,310
Amuse me. Tell me a joke, and it better
be funny or it's off with your heads.
274
00:15:43,311 --> 00:15:45,130
- You go first.
- Oh, that's good.
275
00:15:45,131 --> 00:15:46,850
I've been working on a new type of joke.
276
00:15:46,851 --> 00:15:48,123
Okay.
277
00:15:48,124 --> 00:15:50,524
Knock knock.
278
00:15:50,578 --> 00:15:52,178
Who's there?
279
00:15:52,179 --> 00:15:55,472
That's as far as I got.
280
00:15:55,473 --> 00:15:57,813
Executioner?
281
00:15:59,405 --> 00:16:02,225
Tough Castle, hmm?
282
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:06,236
( Whistling a tune )
283
00:16:07,466 --> 00:16:09,300
Swell breakfast, mom.
284
00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:11,056
Oh, thanks, hon.
285
00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:15,030
This little sport
sure seems to think so.
286
00:16:15,031 --> 00:16:16,870
Hey, swell tie, pop.
287
00:16:16,871 --> 00:16:19,311
Thanks, Champ.
288
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:21,313
I love Toby.
289
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:23,618
Well, of course you do, sweetheart.
290
00:16:23,619 --> 00:16:27,759
Everyone's always happy in the '50s.
291
00:16:28,863 --> 00:16:33,903
Look what I learned at
the sock hop last night.
292
00:16:35,394 --> 00:16:36,902
Whoa.
293
00:16:36,903 --> 00:16:38,648
- Golly.
- Oh, jeez.
294
00:16:38,649 --> 00:16:39,659
Ha!
295
00:16:39,660 --> 00:16:42,079
When is something
interesting gonna happen?
296
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:44,898
You don't think this is interesting?
297
00:16:44,899 --> 00:16:46,403
No.
298
00:16:46,404 --> 00:16:48,730
I don't, and I need
something for my essay.
299
00:16:48,731 --> 00:16:51,682
Now, Teddy, maybe you should
just forget that old essay.
300
00:16:51,683 --> 00:16:54,619
Skip college, stay home with the family.
301
00:16:54,620 --> 00:16:56,621
No, I can't stay home!
302
00:16:56,622 --> 00:16:59,982
I gotta get out of here.
303
00:17:07,743 --> 00:17:09,903
( Sighs )
304
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:15,626
Yeah, nice bedhead.
305
00:17:15,627 --> 00:17:17,967
Executioner?
306
00:17:19,678 --> 00:17:22,978
Oh, those were the days.
307
00:17:23,682 --> 00:17:26,742
( Rock music playing )
308
00:17:28,190 --> 00:17:30,984
We made it! Hey, excuse me.
309
00:17:30,985 --> 00:17:34,049
Excuse me. Pardon me.
Oh! Excuse me. Pardon me.
310
00:17:34,050 --> 00:17:37,344
Excuse me. Man, hope
we didn't miss too much.
311
00:17:37,345 --> 00:17:39,763
We're A.V.M.! Good night!
312
00:17:39,764 --> 00:17:42,104
( Cheering )
313
00:17:53,712 --> 00:17:55,813
Hey, all right, I'm
here. What's the problem?
314
00:17:55,814 --> 00:17:58,915
Um, I can't figure out the bucket.
315
00:17:58,916 --> 00:18:04,457
See, this is what happens when you
send a boy to do an older boy's job.
316
00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:07,592
- So where is the bucket?
- It's inside.
317
00:18:07,593 --> 00:18:11,913
All right. Watch and learn, little man.
318
00:18:12,589 --> 00:18:14,368
Ha!
319
00:18:14,369 --> 00:18:16,115
( Groans )
320
00:18:16,116 --> 00:18:18,456
( Chuckles )
321
00:18:18,737 --> 00:18:22,139
- What just happened here?
- I'll tell you what happened.
322
00:18:22,140 --> 00:18:24,960
Duncan got dunked.
323
00:18:25,899 --> 00:18:28,546
You set me up. I thought
you hated Mr. Singer.
324
00:18:28,547 --> 00:18:31,607
You mean, Uncle Rick?
325
00:18:34,476 --> 00:18:38,556
I trusted you, and you betrayed me.
326
00:18:39,069 --> 00:18:41,349
Nice work.
327
00:18:43,219 --> 00:18:47,318
I've waited four years
to get you back, Duncan.
328
00:18:47,319 --> 00:18:51,132
- I guess we're finally even.
- I guess we are.
329
00:18:51,133 --> 00:18:53,293
For now.
330
00:18:58,071 --> 00:19:00,869
Did he say "for now"?
331
00:19:00,870 --> 00:19:02,644
Mm-hmm.
332
00:19:02,645 --> 00:19:06,305
Sweet Mama, what have I done?
333
00:19:12,557 --> 00:19:14,558
Well...
334
00:19:14,559 --> 00:19:18,279
That was the worst night ever.
335
00:19:18,328 --> 00:19:20,564
It's in the top five.
336
00:19:20,565 --> 00:19:23,445
( Engine puttering )
337
00:19:23,735 --> 00:19:26,780
And we're out of gas.
338
00:19:26,781 --> 00:19:29,640
Top three. ( Chuckles )
339
00:19:29,641 --> 00:19:31,861
( Laughs )
340
00:19:32,927 --> 00:19:34,702
Oh.
341
00:19:34,703 --> 00:19:38,582
PJ, I am so sorry I dragged
you along on this awful night.
342
00:19:38,583 --> 00:19:42,304
It's my fault for
walking into the kitchen.
343
00:19:42,305 --> 00:19:46,311
Oh, right. Guess I should
call roadside assistance again.
344
00:19:46,312 --> 00:19:50,032
( Easy listening music playing )
345
00:19:51,150 --> 00:19:53,698
I think we're still on hold.
346
00:19:53,699 --> 00:19:56,600
- Should we wait?
- I wouldn't.
347
00:19:56,601 --> 00:19:59,421
( Car approaching )
348
00:19:59,805 --> 00:20:01,394
( Murmuring )
349
00:20:01,395 --> 00:20:03,064
Is that a tour bus?
350
00:20:03,065 --> 00:20:06,665
There's somebody getting out.
351
00:20:06,922 --> 00:20:10,162
You blokes need a ride?
352
00:20:10,396 --> 00:20:12,223
My sweet Lord.
353
00:20:12,224 --> 00:20:15,284
It's Russell Sprouts!
354
00:20:15,554 --> 00:20:19,514
Do I look okay? How's my makeup?
355
00:20:28,633 --> 00:20:30,795
Are you sad?
356
00:20:30,796 --> 00:20:33,504
( Sighs ) Yeah, Charlie. I am.
357
00:20:33,505 --> 00:20:34,598
Why?
358
00:20:34,599 --> 00:20:37,908
Well, because I can't think of
what to write for my College Essay.
359
00:20:37,909 --> 00:20:39,901
I know what you could write about.
360
00:20:39,902 --> 00:20:41,980
Yeah? What?
361
00:20:41,981 --> 00:20:43,961
Mommy.
362
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:46,650
Really? Did mommy tell you to say that?
363
00:20:46,651 --> 00:20:48,991
No comment.
364
00:20:49,182 --> 00:20:50,323
Okay.
365
00:20:50,324 --> 00:20:53,691
Well, you tell mommy
I'll figure something out.
366
00:20:53,692 --> 00:20:56,872
Okay. Good luck, Teddy.
367
00:20:57,829 --> 00:20:59,794
Good luck, Teddy.
368
00:20:59,795 --> 00:21:01,136
That's it!
369
00:21:01,137 --> 00:21:07,037
I can't believe I didn't think
of that before. It's perfect.
370
00:21:08,573 --> 00:21:09,964
Well, Charlie.
371
00:21:09,965 --> 00:21:13,611
I just sent in my first
college application.
372
00:21:13,612 --> 00:21:19,312
And thanks to you, I finally came
up with a great topic for my essay.
373
00:21:19,313 --> 00:21:21,786
It's all about these video
diaries I've been doing.
374
00:21:21,787 --> 00:21:26,258
See, I realized that I started
making them to help you.
375
00:21:26,259 --> 00:21:30,226
But as I went along, I
learned a lot about myself.
376
00:21:30,227 --> 00:21:32,528
And our crazy...
377
00:21:32,529 --> 00:21:34,799
Wonderful family.
378
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:38,078
Richie? You're not gonna
believe who I met last night.
379
00:21:38,079 --> 00:21:39,749
Russell Sprouts.
380
00:21:39,750 --> 00:21:40,856
( Squeals )
381
00:21:40,857 --> 00:21:44,929
I know! I know! It was amazing.
We shared eyeliner tips.
382
00:21:44,930 --> 00:21:48,650
Oh, yes, we did. Yes, we did!
383
00:21:51,716 --> 00:21:54,819
Sometimes more crazy than wonderful.
384
00:21:54,820 --> 00:21:57,700
Good luck, Charlie.
385
00:22:01,053 --> 00:22:03,619
- Shoo-bop shoo-shoo-bop.
- Ooh.
386
00:22:03,620 --> 00:22:07,369
- Shoo-shoo-bop shoo-shoo-bop.
- Ooh-oh-ooh.
387
00:22:07,370 --> 00:22:08,631
Dip-dip-doo.
388
00:22:08,632 --> 00:22:10,673
Today's all burnt toast.
389
00:22:10,674 --> 00:22:12,525
Running late and dad jokes.
390
00:22:12,526 --> 00:22:15,051
"Has anybody seen my left shoe?"
391
00:22:15,052 --> 00:22:16,490
Left shoe.
392
00:22:16,491 --> 00:22:18,492
Close my eyes, take a bite.
393
00:22:18,493 --> 00:22:20,438
Grab a ride, laugh out loud.
394
00:22:20,439 --> 00:22:22,885
There it is up on the roof.
395
00:22:22,886 --> 00:22:25,466
Ah-roo-oo-oo!
396
00:22:30,828 --> 00:22:32,797
Bob, honey.
397
00:22:32,798 --> 00:22:36,098
Haven't you evolved yet?
398
00:22:36,182 --> 00:22:38,477
Me never win.
399
00:22:38,478 --> 00:22:44,378
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400
00:22:44,428 --> 00:22:48,978
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