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1
00:00:03,538 --> 00:00:04,454
Hey, Riley.
2
00:00:04,506 --> 00:00:06,456
(grunts)
3
00:00:11,296 --> 00:00:13,329
Coffee?
4
00:00:13,364 --> 00:00:14,380
Is there something different?
5
00:00:14,432 --> 00:00:16,365
Give me a minute, I'll figure it out.
6
00:00:16,418 --> 00:00:18,684
I've decided that it is a
brand-new day for Riley Perrin.
7
00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:21,587
That's right, when Riley Perrin
takes a punch to the heart,
8
00:00:21,623 --> 00:00:23,539
she doesn't just hit
the mat like a loser.
9
00:00:23,575 --> 00:00:25,675
No, no. Riley Perrin gets
up and she starts fresh,
10
00:00:25,710 --> 00:00:27,460
starting with her living space.
11
00:00:27,495 --> 00:00:30,396
Do you like it? Riley Perrin loves it.
12
00:00:30,448 --> 00:00:33,433
Well, tell Riley Perrin that I
came by to bring her some coffee
13
00:00:33,435 --> 00:00:36,319
and offer my support while she
and Danny work through their...
14
00:00:36,354 --> 00:00:37,437
...issues.
15
00:00:37,439 --> 00:00:40,273
"Issues"? Really?
16
00:00:40,308 --> 00:00:42,708
Is that what he said, that
we're just having some issues.
17
00:00:42,744 --> 00:00:45,678
Oh, okay. Well, if issues means putting
his issue into someone else's issue
18
00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:48,698
and lying about it for seven
years, then yeah, it's an issue.
19
00:00:48,733 --> 00:00:51,501
And I think you've
already had enough of this.
20
00:00:51,536 --> 00:00:52,552
Sorry.
21
00:00:52,554 --> 00:00:55,505
Oh God, I'm just... I'm
not myself right now.
22
00:00:55,540 --> 00:00:57,406
You know what would be so great?
23
00:00:57,442 --> 00:00:59,542
A whole five minutes without
having to think or talk about Danny.
24
00:00:59,577 --> 00:01:01,477
You got it.
25
00:01:01,529 --> 00:01:04,263
Riley, I heard all about you and Danny.
26
00:01:04,299 --> 00:01:08,367
But don't worry. Mother's here,
and everything is going to be okay.
27
00:01:08,403 --> 00:01:12,271
We are going to go over
every heart-wrenching detail,
28
00:01:12,323 --> 00:01:15,558
over and over and over again.
29
00:01:15,593 --> 00:01:18,544
Then we'll talk about some of
your other poor life choices...
30
00:01:18,580 --> 00:01:20,680
like your hair...
31
00:01:20,682 --> 00:01:22,682
and why you're still
hanging out with losers.
32
00:01:22,717 --> 00:01:25,618
Hey, Ben.
33
00:01:25,670 --> 00:01:28,504
Hey, Mrs. Perrin.
34
00:01:28,540 --> 00:01:29,672
(theme music playing)
35
00:01:29,707 --> 00:01:33,543
It's amazing how the unexpected
36
00:01:33,595 --> 00:01:36,512
Can take your life
and change directions
37
00:01:36,672 --> 00:01:40,227
- Sync and corrected by TheDelta -
- www.addic7ed.com -
38
00:01:41,736 --> 00:01:43,569
I'll take that.
39
00:01:43,621 --> 00:01:45,705
Your change. I hope
you enjoyed your lunch.
40
00:01:45,740 --> 00:01:47,573
And please remember for your next visit,
41
00:01:47,575 --> 00:01:49,575
we have several exciting
items off the menu,
42
00:01:49,627 --> 00:01:50,793
but on the Benu.
43
00:01:50,828 --> 00:01:53,579
By the way, I'm Ben.
44
00:01:53,631 --> 00:01:56,666
Aw, you're adorable. Not happening.
45
00:01:56,718 --> 00:01:59,719
- Tucker?
- Giselle. Hey, girl.
46
00:01:59,754 --> 00:02:01,637
Nice to see you.
47
00:02:01,673 --> 00:02:04,557
Thanks for the lunch recommendation.
48
00:02:04,592 --> 00:02:06,592
- See you next week?
- I will be there.
49
00:02:11,599 --> 00:02:14,600
Both: Dibs! I saw her
first! No, I saw her first!
50
00:02:14,602 --> 00:02:15,685
She's mine. All right?
51
00:02:15,737 --> 00:02:17,603
Her name is Giselle, and
I met her over a month ago.
52
00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:19,605
And you're still at "Nice to see you"?
53
00:02:19,607 --> 00:02:21,524
You've passed your sexpiration date.
54
00:02:21,576 --> 00:02:23,576
What? It's kind of tricky. All right?
55
00:02:23,611 --> 00:02:25,578
She works at a clinic
I've been going to,
56
00:02:25,613 --> 00:02:28,531
and I only get a few minutes to
talk to her before my appointment.
57
00:02:28,583 --> 00:02:30,700
A clinic? Man, are you sick?
58
00:02:30,752 --> 00:02:33,619
'Cause I accidentally used
your toothbrush yesterday
59
00:02:33,621 --> 00:02:35,755
I've had a sore throat ever since.
60
00:02:35,790 --> 00:02:38,624
No, man. I'm not sick. All right?
61
00:02:38,676 --> 00:02:40,626
And it's actually more
of a bank than a clinic,
62
00:02:40,678 --> 00:02:43,546
where you make deposits into little cups
63
00:02:43,598 --> 00:02:46,599
and your ATM card is in your pants.
64
00:02:46,634 --> 00:02:48,601
Are you sure you're not sick?
65
00:02:48,636 --> 00:02:49,769
'Cause you kind of
sound like you are to me.
66
00:02:49,804 --> 00:02:52,638
She works at a sperm bank.
67
00:02:52,690 --> 00:02:55,608
I started to go 'cause I
needed a little extra money.
68
00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:57,777
Do you know they pay
almost 200 bucks a deposit?
69
00:02:57,812 --> 00:03:01,614
Oh my God! I'd be a millionaire by now.
70
00:03:01,649 --> 00:03:04,483
Yeah, but they only
let you go once a week.
71
00:03:07,538 --> 00:03:09,538
Wait. Hold up.
72
00:03:09,574 --> 00:03:12,491
I can't go again, but you can.
73
00:03:12,543 --> 00:03:15,594
Yeah, and while you're
there, opening up an account,
74
00:03:15,630 --> 00:03:17,563
I can get some quality
time alone with her.
75
00:03:17,615 --> 00:03:18,614
What do you say?
76
00:03:18,649 --> 00:03:21,600
So you want me to leave
work at peak business hours
77
00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:25,354
to go across town to do something I
can pretty much do anywhere at anytime?
78
00:03:25,390 --> 00:03:27,440
Yeah, you're right. Never mind.
79
00:03:27,442 --> 00:03:29,342
I'll be at the bank!
80
00:03:33,414 --> 00:03:35,381
- (door opens)
- Bonnie: All right!
81
00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:36,732
Who's buying me lunch today?
82
00:03:36,768 --> 00:03:40,653
Eenie-meenie-miney... mo.
83
00:03:40,688 --> 00:03:43,589
Not now, Mom. I'm trying to focus.
84
00:03:43,624 --> 00:03:44,640
Good idea.
85
00:03:44,692 --> 00:03:46,609
Last time you got
distracted doing push-ups,
86
00:03:46,677 --> 00:03:48,677
you broke your nose and we had
to retile the kitchen floor.
87
00:03:48,730 --> 00:03:52,498
No. I'm focusing on not
thinking about Riley.
88
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:55,518
Sixty-six! Sixty-seven!
Sixty-Riley!
89
00:03:55,570 --> 00:03:57,536
Damn!
90
00:03:57,572 --> 00:03:59,438
Why can't she just forgive me?
91
00:03:59,474 --> 00:04:01,240
I mean, it happened seven years ago,
92
00:04:01,292 --> 00:04:02,475
and more importantly, I didn't lie.
93
00:04:02,510 --> 00:04:05,277
And, of course, his whole
defense is that he didn't lie,
94
00:04:05,279 --> 00:04:07,713
but we all know what I was asking him.
95
00:04:07,715 --> 00:04:10,649
Semantics. It all
comes down to semantics.
96
00:04:10,651 --> 00:04:13,319
Well, let's hope you didn't
use that two-dollar word on him
97
00:04:13,354 --> 00:04:15,654
'cause I'm pretty sure he'll
be about a buck 98 short.
98
00:04:15,690 --> 00:04:18,557
Mom, how can I ever trust him again?
99
00:04:18,593 --> 00:04:21,677
Oh, honey. When it comes to
being a couple, trust takes time.
100
00:04:21,712 --> 00:04:26,649
Time for the woman to realize
you can never trust a man.
101
00:04:26,701 --> 00:04:28,551
And don't worry, honey.
102
00:04:28,586 --> 00:04:31,454
It's easy to win back someone's trust.
103
00:04:31,489 --> 00:04:35,357
What's hard is trying to act like you've
never met him when he's with his wife.
104
00:04:36,794 --> 00:04:38,394
But don't worry.
105
00:04:38,446 --> 00:04:40,446
This will all blow over
once she starts to miss you.
106
00:04:40,448 --> 00:04:42,681
Well, it's going to be
hard for her to miss me
107
00:04:42,683 --> 00:04:45,634
since we're throwing that stupid
engagement party for our stupid friends.
108
00:04:45,670 --> 00:04:47,603
Rhonda and Jeremy. I
mean, we're the ones
109
00:04:47,655 --> 00:04:49,605
who stupidly set them
up in the first place.
110
00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:51,590
Hopefully, after they get
married, they'll move away
111
00:04:51,592 --> 00:04:54,527
so I won't have to see her stupid
cheerful face at work every day.
112
00:04:54,529 --> 00:04:56,579
I mean, it's like, we
get it... you're happy.
113
00:04:56,614 --> 00:04:59,448
Riley, you have to
get ahold of yourself.
114
00:04:59,484 --> 00:05:01,550
I mean, look at you. You've
clearly hit rock bottom.
115
00:05:04,455 --> 00:05:06,505
- But, Mom...
- No. Don't "But, Mom" me.
116
00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:09,275
While I have never been
a fan of the Wheelers...
117
00:05:09,277 --> 00:05:11,260
and please note I just said
"Wheelers" without dry heaving...
118
00:05:11,295 --> 00:05:13,262
somehow, you bagged the good one.
119
00:05:13,314 --> 00:05:15,331
And if you're not going to talk
some sense into him, then I am.
120
00:05:15,366 --> 00:05:17,733
- Mom, no!
- Look, I'm sorry, honey.
121
00:05:17,768 --> 00:05:19,752
But you two belong together,
122
00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:22,721
and I'm not going to
take no for an answer.
123
00:05:24,575 --> 00:05:25,658
(gasps)
124
00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:30,463
Jennifer.
125
00:05:31,599 --> 00:05:33,532
Bonnie.
126
00:05:33,568 --> 00:05:36,469
You know what, Danny? Some
things aren't worth fighting for.
127
00:05:36,471 --> 00:05:39,371
Pumpkin, you're still young,
you'll find someone else.
128
00:05:43,494 --> 00:05:44,727
Here you go.
129
00:05:44,762 --> 00:05:48,414
I wasn't sure, so under "sex,"
I put "as much as I can."
130
00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:50,299
All right.
131
00:05:50,351 --> 00:05:52,651
If you want to come around here,
132
00:05:52,703 --> 00:05:55,621
I can just take a quick picture
for your profile and we'll be done.
133
00:05:55,656 --> 00:05:58,657
If you want to wait until after,
I'll probably be smiling more.
134
00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:02,444
So, you're in room three,
135
00:06:02,497 --> 00:06:04,463
just follow the
instructions posted inside.
136
00:06:04,499 --> 00:06:07,399
Make yourself comfortable and
take advantage of the visual aids.
137
00:06:09,387 --> 00:06:10,336
I'm good.
138
00:06:11,522 --> 00:06:15,307
So, Giselle, that's a beautiful name.
139
00:06:15,343 --> 00:06:16,692
Hold on!
140
00:06:20,765 --> 00:06:22,331
I'm just kidding.
141
00:06:22,383 --> 00:06:23,749
You guys chat. I'll get back to work.
142
00:06:25,703 --> 00:06:28,604
Okay. We'll have everything
set up at the bar by noon.
143
00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:29,655
Can you order the champagne?
144
00:06:29,707 --> 00:06:31,624
Or will that just be
something else you forget
145
00:06:31,626 --> 00:06:33,609
and I'll have to hear
about it seven years later?
146
00:06:33,644 --> 00:06:35,494
Nice shot, honey.
147
00:06:35,546 --> 00:06:37,563
Something Danny's coach has never said.
148
00:06:39,584 --> 00:06:42,484
The champagne will be
ready. You want to know why?
149
00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:44,420
Because you specifically
asked for champagne
150
00:06:44,455 --> 00:06:46,772
and not whether I had
feelings for champagne.
151
00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:49,425
Don't be afraid to take
a shot at the mom too.
152
00:06:49,460 --> 00:06:50,376
Okay.
153
00:06:52,697 --> 00:06:53,746
Do you guys mind?
154
00:06:53,781 --> 00:06:55,614
We're kind of in the
middle of something here.
155
00:06:55,650 --> 00:06:58,651
Yeah, Jennifer. We're trying to
plan an engagement party here.
156
00:06:58,686 --> 00:07:01,637
If you want to help, why don't
you call the party planner
157
00:07:01,689 --> 00:07:04,506
and ask him to fill a
truck of tables and chairs
158
00:07:04,559 --> 00:07:06,525
and then run you over with it.
159
00:07:08,479 --> 00:07:10,429
Mom, please, just stay out of this.
160
00:07:10,481 --> 00:07:12,298
It's already going to be hard enough
161
00:07:12,333 --> 00:07:14,316
with everyone at the party
asking why we broke up.
162
00:07:14,352 --> 00:07:16,285
Which is why we're not telling anyone.
163
00:07:16,337 --> 00:07:18,304
So, bring your happy face. Got it?
164
00:07:18,306 --> 00:07:19,722
Oh. I'll bring three happy faces.
165
00:07:19,774 --> 00:07:21,707
'Cause I'm pretty sure,
you'll make the first two mad.
166
00:07:23,311 --> 00:07:24,677
(phone rings)
167
00:07:24,712 --> 00:07:27,279
Oh God. Oh God, it's Rhonda. Happy face!
168
00:07:27,315 --> 00:07:28,647
Rhonda, hi!
169
00:07:28,699 --> 00:07:30,699
We are so excited about the party.
170
00:07:30,751 --> 00:07:32,551
Aren't we, honey?
171
00:07:32,553 --> 00:07:35,621
We sure are... monkey pants.
172
00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:38,490
Just checking in to make sure
everything is going according to plan.
173
00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:39,575
Couldn't be going better.
174
00:07:39,627 --> 00:07:42,461
Oh my God. You guys are so cute.
175
00:07:42,513 --> 00:07:45,364
I just hope Jeremy and I
are as happy as you two are.
176
00:07:45,399 --> 00:07:47,449
You've really been such
an inspiration to us.
177
00:07:47,485 --> 00:07:49,351
Okay. Bye, guys!
178
00:07:50,771 --> 00:07:54,640
- I should probably...
- Yeah, and I need to get...
179
00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:57,610
Oh my God! Did you see that?
180
00:07:57,612 --> 00:07:59,762
Rhonda's hair? Whoa!
181
00:07:59,797 --> 00:08:03,582
No. Danny and Riley. They're
so caught up in fighting,
182
00:08:03,634 --> 00:08:05,618
they can't see how much
love that is still there.
183
00:08:05,653 --> 00:08:08,554
Yeah. I don't know where
they get their tempers.
184
00:08:08,589 --> 00:08:11,373
(phone rings)
185
00:08:11,409 --> 00:08:13,409
(shouts) Stop calling me!
186
00:08:14,478 --> 00:08:16,278
My mother.
187
00:08:17,348 --> 00:08:19,732
If we could just get
them to have a moment,
188
00:08:19,767 --> 00:08:21,717
maybe they could build on that
189
00:08:21,786 --> 00:08:24,303
and start forgetting
why they hate each other.
190
00:08:24,305 --> 00:08:26,238
Oh my God. You're right.
191
00:08:26,290 --> 00:08:27,706
We need to work together.
192
00:08:27,742 --> 00:08:29,692
We have to be a team.
193
00:08:32,713 --> 00:08:35,698
Yeah. We're a real Thelma and Hitler.
194
00:08:38,519 --> 00:08:40,419
To be clear, you're Hitler.
195
00:08:44,575 --> 00:08:46,525
Done. And I believe that was
196
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:49,361
my favorite visit to the
doctor's office, ever.
197
00:08:49,413 --> 00:08:51,397
Actually, that's not true.
198
00:08:51,432 --> 00:08:53,432
Dude! Dude, it worked.
199
00:08:53,434 --> 00:08:55,367
Giselle and I are
getting together later.
200
00:08:55,369 --> 00:08:56,719
Hey, I don't know how it would come up,
201
00:08:56,771 --> 00:08:59,621
but if you ever need me to
do that for you, I'm there.
202
00:09:01,676 --> 00:09:04,593
Wait, dude. I think that
couple is picking a donor.
203
00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:06,512
- What if they pick me?
- Come on.
204
00:09:06,514 --> 00:09:08,147
Do you really think
anybody's going to pick
205
00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:09,656
you over the hundreds
of other choices?
206
00:09:09,684 --> 00:09:12,501
Come on, man. I'm in there too.
207
00:09:12,536 --> 00:09:14,303
All right. That's true.
208
00:09:15,389 --> 00:09:18,290
It was hard, but I
think we made a decision.
209
00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:19,425
- Right, honey.
- We did.
210
00:09:19,477 --> 00:09:24,329
We'd like donor 4-11-17
to help us become a family.
211
00:09:32,021 --> 00:09:34,338
Sorry, I'm late. Work was crazy.
212
00:09:34,373 --> 00:09:37,258
Is it wrong I don't want
to hear about your day?
213
00:09:37,293 --> 00:09:39,226
Oh, but one fun thing happened.
214
00:09:39,262 --> 00:09:40,361
And I'm hearing about it anyway.
215
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:43,297
Your friend, Ben, he got picked.
216
00:09:43,332 --> 00:09:45,232
He was barely out the front door.
217
00:09:45,234 --> 00:09:48,185
But don't tell him, it's
totally against policy.
218
00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:51,071
Oh my God. No, yeah. Hey, hey...
219
00:09:51,073 --> 00:09:53,224
I would never betray your trust.
220
00:09:53,276 --> 00:09:56,043
Would you excuse me for a moment?
221
00:09:59,115 --> 00:10:01,048
Ben, you're going to be a father.
222
00:10:01,050 --> 00:10:02,233
What?
223
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:04,452
Yeah, Ben. Giselle just told
me that a couple picked you.
224
00:10:04,454 --> 00:10:06,420
Tucker, you said I wouldn't get picked.
225
00:10:06,422 --> 00:10:08,439
Yeah, well, I didn't
realize there'd be a run
226
00:10:08,491 --> 00:10:11,292
on single-father,
college-dropout sperm.
227
00:10:11,327 --> 00:10:14,245
I might've embellished
my profile a little.
228
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:17,264
Harvard med student, Olympic
athlete who plays the drums?
229
00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:20,134
Damn it! Even I want to
have a kid with that guy.
230
00:10:20,136 --> 00:10:22,153
You know what? Don't
worry about it, okay?
231
00:10:22,188 --> 00:10:23,237
This is not even a big deal.
232
00:10:26,142 --> 00:10:28,108
Hey, Ben. I'm putting this
case of champagne in the walk-in
233
00:10:28,144 --> 00:10:30,027
for that stupid engagement party.
234
00:10:30,062 --> 00:10:31,178
Didn't you just put one in there?
235
00:10:31,214 --> 00:10:33,113
Yeah. This one's for Mom.
236
00:10:33,115 --> 00:10:35,432
Danny, can I ask you a quick question?
237
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,451
You ever think about
donating your sperm?
238
00:10:37,453 --> 00:10:39,520
Oh my God. Why would you say that?
239
00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:42,339
You think things are never
going to work out with Riley?
240
00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:44,308
You think I'm never
going to meet someone?
241
00:10:44,343 --> 00:10:46,327
You think I'll never
be able to have kids?
242
00:10:46,329 --> 00:10:49,180
No! No. No. I just donated
243
00:10:49,232 --> 00:10:51,198
and I'm kind of having
some second thoughts.
244
00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:53,100
Well, you should.
245
00:10:53,102 --> 00:10:55,085
I can't believe you of all
people, who's got Emily,
246
00:10:55,121 --> 00:10:57,121
would be willing to bring
another kid into the world.
247
00:10:57,173 --> 00:10:59,106
Not knowing who the
parents are going to be
248
00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:01,125
or how they're going
to raise your child.
249
00:11:01,177 --> 00:11:03,093
Just hope nobody picks you, man.
250
00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:06,447
Wow. I was kind of hoping
this would be one of those,
251
00:11:06,482 --> 00:11:08,399
"Hey, little bro. Don't
worry about it" moments.
252
00:11:08,434 --> 00:11:10,251
Anytime, man.
253
00:11:13,372 --> 00:11:15,256
- This is nice, isn't it?
- Mm.
254
00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:19,293
Celebrating young love that's embracing
all their differences to become one.
255
00:11:19,328 --> 00:11:21,345
Nothing makes me happier.
256
00:11:21,397 --> 00:11:23,280
(laughs loudly)
257
00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:25,199
It's so true, Jennifer.
258
00:11:25,234 --> 00:11:29,069
Only that sweater you're
wearing makes me happier.
259
00:11:29,071 --> 00:11:31,188
I just love how it hides everything.
260
00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:33,157
Thank you.
261
00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:36,126
Danny, why don't you hold that ladder
for Riley so she doesn't get hurt.
262
00:11:36,178 --> 00:11:39,113
Oh okay. Because I'm a girl and
I can't do anything by myself?
263
00:11:39,148 --> 00:11:41,398
No, because you might fall.
264
00:11:41,484 --> 00:11:42,349
Oh!
265
00:11:44,503 --> 00:11:46,270
Thank you.
266
00:11:46,305 --> 00:11:47,404
Anytime.
267
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:49,373
Aw!
268
00:11:49,425 --> 00:11:52,276
This just reminds me of you
guys up in that old tree house.
269
00:11:52,311 --> 00:11:57,214
You two would just spend hours up
there, just giggling and gossiping.
270
00:11:57,266 --> 00:11:59,233
Yeah, that old tree house.
271
00:11:59,235 --> 00:12:01,168
Spent a fortune on her broken wrist,
272
00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:03,053
but you can't put a
price on their happiness.
273
00:12:03,105 --> 00:12:04,121
Twelve-hundred dollars.
274
00:12:04,156 --> 00:12:06,991
Well, when that much weight falls,
275
00:12:07,026 --> 00:12:08,475
something's going to shatter,
276
00:12:08,477 --> 00:12:11,045
including a brand-new lounge chair.
277
00:12:11,097 --> 00:12:12,429
Forty-nine dollars.
278
00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:15,382
And isn't it ironic that
those stairs were so rickety,
279
00:12:15,418 --> 00:12:18,018
considering the man of the
house was a supposed contractor?
280
00:12:18,020 --> 00:12:21,255
Oh, that's right. He was actually
sleeping with the contractor.
281
00:12:21,257 --> 00:12:23,240
Aha! For your information,
282
00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:25,292
he was sleeping with the gardener!
283
00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:28,329
Well, I see where you get it.
284
00:12:28,381 --> 00:12:31,098
Where I get it? More
like where you get it.
285
00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:33,133
- Oh, nice comeback.
- Oh, your mom.
286
00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:35,169
Now see what you've done?
287
00:12:35,204 --> 00:12:37,204
I'm just going to go take
this into the walk-in.
288
00:12:37,239 --> 00:12:39,089
No, I'll take it, since
I'm not sure you know
289
00:12:39,141 --> 00:12:41,075
this is just a punch bowl and
not just a really big glass.
290
00:12:41,110 --> 00:12:43,377
I've got two words for you: nose job!
291
00:12:43,379 --> 00:12:44,428
Hey, hey, hey! Put it down!
292
00:12:44,463 --> 00:12:46,330
You two are acting like children!
293
00:12:46,365 --> 00:12:47,448
(shrieks)
294
00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:51,251
(huffs)
295
00:12:53,389 --> 00:12:57,141
Hey. Why don't you wring
that out right in here?
296
00:13:01,147 --> 00:13:03,230
Ah. The Old Woman in the Shoe.
297
00:13:03,232 --> 00:13:05,165
It's a good one.
298
00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:07,017
Speaking of too many kids,
299
00:13:07,069 --> 00:13:09,453
I may have just made one of
the biggest mistakes of my life.
300
00:13:11,023 --> 00:13:12,439
Oh, I don't know. Maybe it'll be fine.
301
00:13:12,441 --> 00:13:15,426
(older voice) Fine? Let's
see how fine you think it is
302
00:13:15,478 --> 00:13:18,312
when I grow up and accidentally
date my own brother.
303
00:13:18,347 --> 00:13:20,314
Nice going, Dad.
304
00:13:20,349 --> 00:13:21,448
(gasps)
305
00:13:21,450 --> 00:13:23,267
Hi.
306
00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:26,286
Tucker! We got to get my boys back!
307
00:13:32,916 --> 00:13:35,783
I've invested a lot into
making this relationship work.
308
00:13:35,835 --> 00:13:38,052
I have never been so dehydrated.
309
00:13:38,138 --> 00:13:40,655
Giselle. Hey, me again.
310
00:13:40,707 --> 00:13:42,207
Look, I'm really sorry to bother you,
311
00:13:42,209 --> 00:13:45,677
but I kind of left a little something
here yesterday that I'd like to get back.
312
00:13:45,712 --> 00:13:48,046
Oh, that's okay. It
happens all the time.
313
00:13:48,048 --> 00:13:50,031
Really? Oh, wow. Thank you.
314
00:13:51,117 --> 00:13:55,937
Uh... I was actually
talking about my sample.
315
00:13:55,989 --> 00:13:59,757
I forgot I already promised
it to somebody else.
316
00:13:59,793 --> 00:14:02,844
I'm sorry, but you relinquished all
rights when you signed the contract.
317
00:14:02,879 --> 00:14:05,863
Yeah, um, what if you
happen to lose that contract?
318
00:14:05,865 --> 00:14:09,651
Then I lose my job and you lose a date.
319
00:14:10,704 --> 00:14:12,720
You signed a contract, man. I...
320
00:14:12,772 --> 00:14:15,106
I'm sorry, but I have
to get back to work.
321
00:14:15,108 --> 00:14:16,958
Mr. and Mrs. Miller?
322
00:14:21,031 --> 00:14:23,097
Oh my God. That's the couple
that was here yesterday.
323
00:14:23,149 --> 00:14:25,984
Dude, I bet you that's
the couple that...
324
00:14:27,887 --> 00:14:28,920
Ben?
325
00:14:39,816 --> 00:14:42,700
Yeah. I can really see
us growing old together.
326
00:14:42,736 --> 00:14:45,053
It's almost like I
can't wait till we die.
327
00:14:48,091 --> 00:14:50,108
Enjoying the free show?
328
00:14:50,110 --> 00:14:51,960
Speed it up, kid. Okay?
329
00:14:51,995 --> 00:14:53,044
You're welcome.
330
00:14:53,096 --> 00:14:54,979
Oh good. Are we going to make a toast?
331
00:14:55,031 --> 00:14:57,065
No. I'm going to make a toast.
332
00:14:57,117 --> 00:14:59,984
You are going to stand there
slack-jawed and make me look good.
333
00:15:00,020 --> 00:15:02,954
I'm gonna remind Danny and Riley
how much they love each other.
334
00:15:02,956 --> 00:15:04,889
(clears throat) Everyone!
335
00:15:04,924 --> 00:15:08,793
I'd like us all to raise a glass to...
336
00:15:09,829 --> 00:15:12,897
him and... that girl!
337
00:15:12,899 --> 00:15:14,882
But more importantly,
338
00:15:14,918 --> 00:15:19,737
to Danny and Riley whose own
love brought them together.
339
00:15:20,807 --> 00:15:23,624
And we should all
remember that we're here
340
00:15:23,660 --> 00:15:25,643
because of Danny and Riley.
341
00:15:25,679 --> 00:15:27,712
That's exactly what I just said.
342
00:15:27,747 --> 00:15:28,946
Well, I...
343
00:15:28,999 --> 00:15:31,049
And here's a little advice.
344
00:15:31,051 --> 00:15:33,651
Never go to bed angry...
345
00:15:33,687 --> 00:15:37,889
even if your partner is
a judgey, holier-than-thou
346
00:15:37,891 --> 00:15:40,825
know-it-all who never
lets anything go.
347
00:15:41,961 --> 00:15:43,895
But she won't have to be judgey,
348
00:15:43,897 --> 00:15:46,848
if her husband-to-be can
remember to keep it in his pants.
349
00:15:46,883 --> 00:15:48,816
And if he's taken it out,
350
00:15:48,868 --> 00:15:51,686
he might want to mention that now.
351
00:15:51,721 --> 00:15:53,441
I'm starting to think
your mom didn't get
352
00:15:53,467 --> 00:15:55,064
the beer with the
sleeping pill in it.
353
00:15:55,091 --> 00:15:58,643
I know how we can put an end to this.
354
00:16:00,714 --> 00:16:01,979
Hey, Riley!
355
00:16:02,015 --> 00:16:03,981
You idiot! You locked us in here!
356
00:16:04,017 --> 00:16:05,633
How do you know it wasn't Danny?
357
00:16:05,668 --> 00:16:07,085
Because my son loves me.
358
00:16:08,938 --> 00:16:10,922
Yeah, it was probably Danny.
359
00:16:12,058 --> 00:16:13,891
- Hello.
- Both: Hi.
360
00:16:13,927 --> 00:16:14,992
I'm Doctor...
361
00:16:15,028 --> 00:16:16,894
I'm the doctor,
362
00:16:16,930 --> 00:16:18,980
and I'll be performing
the procedure today.
363
00:16:19,015 --> 00:16:21,749
We're so excited. Should I
put my feet up in the stirrups?
364
00:16:21,785 --> 00:16:22,917
Oh God, no!
365
00:16:22,969 --> 00:16:25,903
Uh, not until I've done the final test
366
00:16:25,939 --> 00:16:27,839
on the sample in question.
367
00:16:27,874 --> 00:16:29,657
Do you have it?
368
00:16:29,692 --> 00:16:32,627
No. Isn't that your job?
369
00:16:32,662 --> 00:16:35,113
Yes, of course. Sometimes
people like to bring their own.
370
00:16:36,116 --> 00:16:38,633
Though we do charge a corkage fee.
371
00:16:42,005 --> 00:16:43,971
- Oh, here it is.
- That's my coffee.
372
00:16:44,007 --> 00:16:45,990
Good, 'cause the steam
was starting to worry me.
373
00:16:46,025 --> 00:16:49,811
Uh, I'll just... need
another minute here.
374
00:16:52,065 --> 00:16:53,915
We just have to get
along for two more hours
375
00:16:53,967 --> 00:16:55,896
and then we don't have
to see any of these
376
00:16:55,922 --> 00:16:57,735
stupid people's stupid
faces ever again.
377
00:16:57,771 --> 00:16:59,704
Hey, Nathan.
378
00:16:59,706 --> 00:17:00,805
- (glass tinging)
- Excuse me.
379
00:17:00,857 --> 00:17:03,658
If we can please have
everyone's attention.
380
00:17:03,710 --> 00:17:05,743
Jeremy and I want to
take a moment to thank
381
00:17:05,779 --> 00:17:07,728
our dear friends, Danny and Riley,
382
00:17:07,764 --> 00:17:10,648
for hosting such a
beautiful party for us.
383
00:17:10,683 --> 00:17:13,618
Can you give Rhonda a mic
and turn on the sound system?
384
00:17:13,653 --> 00:17:15,670
- Thank you.
- (Feedback whines)
385
00:17:15,705 --> 00:17:16,971
So what I
was saying...
386
00:17:17,023 --> 00:17:19,907
Bonnie: If you could've just
shut up for two seconds...
387
00:17:19,959 --> 00:17:21,926
Jennifer: Me? It's not my
fault Danny and Riley broke up.
388
00:17:21,961 --> 00:17:24,028
This engagement party is a disaster.
389
00:17:24,030 --> 00:17:26,881
Bonnie: Who cares? They're
never going to make it, anyway.
390
00:17:26,916 --> 00:17:29,834
Riley told me everyone
thinks Rhonda is a lesbian.
391
00:17:29,886 --> 00:17:32,737
I... I said
thespian!
392
00:17:32,739 --> 00:17:33,788
You are terrific actress, Rhonda.
393
00:17:33,823 --> 00:17:35,740
Dude, shut that off.
394
00:17:35,792 --> 00:17:37,842
- (grunts)
- (Screams)
395
00:17:37,844 --> 00:17:39,827
Jennifer: You know
what the worst part is?
396
00:17:39,863 --> 00:17:42,797
If Danny and Riley can't
make it work, who can?
397
00:17:42,849 --> 00:17:45,766
Bonnie: I just know that they're
going to get through this.
398
00:17:45,802 --> 00:17:48,986
I've never seen two people
more perfect for each other.
399
00:17:51,057 --> 00:17:53,641
Honey, I swear, she's just my roommate.
400
00:17:53,676 --> 00:17:55,910
Rhonda!
401
00:17:57,931 --> 00:17:59,063
(sighs)
402
00:17:59,098 --> 00:18:01,766
- I'm tired of fighting.
- Me too.
403
00:18:02,852 --> 00:18:04,902
How do we get through this?
404
00:18:04,938 --> 00:18:06,771
We just have to figure out
a way to make this work.
405
00:18:08,691 --> 00:18:09,907
That's what I want too.
406
00:18:09,943 --> 00:18:12,693
But... I mean as friends,
407
00:18:12,729 --> 00:18:14,045
not together.
408
00:18:15,632 --> 00:18:17,031
For now.
409
00:18:18,117 --> 00:18:20,034
If you add "for now," I'll be cool.
410
00:18:21,120 --> 00:18:22,954
For now.
411
00:18:26,926 --> 00:18:28,793
(whispered scream) Ben!
412
00:18:29,879 --> 00:18:31,829
- Ben, where are you?
- Tucker?
413
00:18:31,865 --> 00:18:33,798
What are you doing back here?
414
00:18:33,833 --> 00:18:35,783
I'm looking for you.
415
00:18:35,818 --> 00:18:37,902
Hey, look, I just wanted to apologize,
416
00:18:37,904 --> 00:18:40,688
for Ben, and maybe, uh,
417
00:18:40,723 --> 00:18:41,856
maybe you can let me make it up to you?
418
00:18:41,891 --> 00:18:43,858
It's okay. A lot of
first-timers freak out.
419
00:18:43,910 --> 00:18:46,694
- But I get off at 5:00.
- Is that Ben's...
420
00:18:47,730 --> 00:18:49,664
little Bens?
421
00:18:49,699 --> 00:18:51,782
You know I can't tell you that.
422
00:18:51,784 --> 00:18:53,751
I know. I know. I'm teasing.
423
00:18:53,803 --> 00:18:56,654
- So you get off at 5:00?
- Mm-hmm.
424
00:18:56,689 --> 00:18:59,040
- Did you say you like sushi?
- Tucker!
425
00:19:02,695 --> 00:19:03,995
Oh, my God.
426
00:19:03,997 --> 00:19:07,014
Pay no attention to this
woman, she's posing as a nurse.
427
00:19:07,066 --> 00:19:08,566
That's our donor.
428
00:19:08,618 --> 00:19:11,836
Our doctor's our donor?
Oh, that doesn't seem right.
429
00:19:12,939 --> 00:19:14,855
He is not a doctor.
430
00:19:14,908 --> 00:19:16,924
I'm sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Miller,
431
00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:19,727
but the insemination won't
be taking place today.
432
00:19:19,762 --> 00:19:21,779
I can't keep doing this.
433
00:19:21,781 --> 00:19:23,764
Maybe it's time to stop trying.
434
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:25,850
If anyone's destined
to be a mom, it's you.
435
00:19:28,838 --> 00:19:30,788
Wow.
436
00:19:30,790 --> 00:19:33,724
Never knew how hard some people
have to work to make this happen.
437
00:19:33,726 --> 00:19:35,810
Never realized what a lucky guy I am.
438
00:19:35,862 --> 00:19:38,646
I don't know what I'd
do without my daughter.
439
00:19:38,698 --> 00:19:41,799
Honestly, you seem like
you'd be great parents.
440
00:19:41,834 --> 00:19:45,703
You know what? I'm going
to help you start a family.
441
00:19:46,739 --> 00:19:48,773
The donation was destroyed.
442
00:19:48,808 --> 00:19:51,659
Oh, pfft! That's okay. I
can totally make some more.
443
00:19:51,711 --> 00:19:53,711
It just takes two
seconds. What do you say?
444
00:19:55,832 --> 00:19:57,748
I think you should call the police.
445
00:19:57,750 --> 00:19:59,800
- Already dialing.
- Already going.
446
00:20:02,889 --> 00:20:04,889
You know, I never got my 200.
447
00:20:06,759 --> 00:20:08,643
Just keep it. Keep it.
448
00:20:14,964 --> 00:20:16,898
Do you really think
Riley should forgive him?
449
00:20:16,933 --> 00:20:19,690
Mm. Look, I will defend
my son to the grave.
450
00:20:19,703 --> 00:20:21,603
But honestly,
451
00:20:21,638 --> 00:20:24,173
you do the crime, you
got to do the time.
452
00:20:24,207 --> 00:20:26,809
Really? I mean, I love Riley,
453
00:20:26,843 --> 00:20:28,581
but, good God, it was seven years ago.
454
00:20:28,681 --> 00:20:30,348
It's not a donut, let it go.
455
00:20:31,750 --> 00:20:33,918
I'm really glad to hear you say that.
456
00:20:33,953 --> 00:20:36,487
I slept with your husband in
high school before you did.
457
00:20:36,522 --> 00:20:38,289
What? How could you?
458
00:20:38,324 --> 00:20:40,658
Oh, now look who can't let it go.
459
00:20:40,693 --> 00:20:44,362
But I'm telling you, when
he got off the bus that day,
460
00:20:44,396 --> 00:20:46,397
he was a man.
461
00:20:46,447 --> 00:20:50,997
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