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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:43,845 --> 00:00:47,346 [MUSIC PLAYING] 2 00:02:19,073 --> 00:02:22,208 Peter, what have you done? 3 00:02:32,219 --> 00:02:33,720 Do you want to hear a Christmas story? 4 00:02:49,369 --> 00:02:52,873 [LAUGHTER] 5 00:03:05,318 --> 00:03:07,053 Oh, Chloe. 6 00:03:07,055 --> 00:03:08,554 What do you think you're doing? 7 00:03:08,556 --> 00:03:10,556 I saw a Santa, Toby. 8 00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:11,557 Really? 9 00:03:11,559 --> 00:03:12,925 Yeah, he was in the drive. 10 00:03:12,927 --> 00:03:14,026 I saw him with his friends. 11 00:03:14,028 --> 00:03:15,027 You were just dreaming. 12 00:03:15,029 --> 00:03:16,128 Go back to sleep. 13 00:03:16,130 --> 00:03:17,563 Please, Toby, come and look. 14 00:03:17,565 --> 00:03:18,864 Go away. 15 00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:20,534 Please, Toby, come look. 16 00:03:22,402 --> 00:03:24,402 So annoying. 17 00:03:24,404 --> 00:03:27,372 Yeah, the kids are asleep. 18 00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:29,274 And we're looking forward to seeing you, 19 00:03:29,276 --> 00:03:31,209 but Toby's probably going to be too busy with his new killer 20 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:34,780 elf game. 21 00:03:34,782 --> 00:03:36,717 Yeah, Chloe's going to love her new doll. 22 00:03:39,554 --> 00:03:42,588 You know Sean, he's anything. 23 00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:46,125 Do you need us to bring anything with us? 24 00:03:46,127 --> 00:03:47,960 OK, well, if you're sure. 25 00:03:47,962 --> 00:03:48,761 See you tomorrow, mom. 26 00:03:48,763 --> 00:03:49,327 Love you. 27 00:03:49,329 --> 00:03:50,997 Bye. 28 00:03:54,102 --> 00:03:56,202 See, no one's there. 29 00:03:56,204 --> 00:03:57,871 But I saw them. 30 00:04:00,541 --> 00:04:02,508 You were just dreaming. 31 00:04:02,510 --> 00:04:05,979 (DOG BARKING) 32 00:04:12,687 --> 00:04:14,821 Rufus, shut up or I'll chop your balls off. 33 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,260 I swear I saw him. 34 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,663 He was with an elf and a snowman. 35 00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:27,833 I'm sure he was, but you're not supposed to see Santa, 36 00:04:27,835 --> 00:04:30,036 so don't let him know, or he'll take all your presents. 37 00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:42,014 Polly, close the window. 38 00:04:42,016 --> 00:04:43,583 It's cold. 39 00:05:01,936 --> 00:05:04,302 [LAUGHTER] 40 00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,972 Dad. 41 00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:19,819 Dad. 42 00:05:19,821 --> 00:05:21,453 It's a terrible Santa costume. 43 00:05:58,559 --> 00:06:02,761 I'm your snowman, short and fat. 44 00:06:02,763 --> 00:06:06,497 Here's my scarf and here's my hat. 45 00:06:06,499 --> 00:06:09,102 When I see the snowfall, hear me shout. 46 00:06:14,075 --> 00:06:16,776 All the little children please come out. 47 00:06:24,785 --> 00:06:26,418 Santa. 48 00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:33,659 You don't look like I thought you would, Santa. 49 00:06:33,661 --> 00:06:35,494 Did you have an accident? 50 00:06:39,267 --> 00:06:41,233 Yes, little girl. 51 00:06:41,235 --> 00:06:45,771 Santa had a very bad accident this year. 52 00:06:45,773 --> 00:06:47,806 Did your sleigh crash? 53 00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:49,676 Are your reindeer OK? 54 00:06:52,713 --> 00:06:54,445 What's your name? 55 00:06:54,447 --> 00:06:56,082 Chloe. 56 00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:05,257 Would you like a present, Chloe? 57 00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:06,960 Yes please, Santa. 58 00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:16,669 This belonged to another little girl's house 59 00:07:16,671 --> 00:07:19,738 that I visited. 60 00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:22,608 Would you want bunny like a friend? 61 00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:24,177 Yes, please, Santa. 62 00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:32,551 Would you like a special present, Chloe? 63 00:07:32,553 --> 00:07:36,155 Yes, please, Santa. 64 00:07:36,157 --> 00:07:42,628 Would you and your brother want to come on that ride 65 00:07:42,630 --> 00:07:44,830 to the North Pole? 66 00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:45,531 Really? 67 00:07:45,533 --> 00:07:47,933 Yes. 68 00:07:47,935 --> 00:07:52,137 You can come and see all the fun we have in our workshops 69 00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:56,442 with the other little girls and boys. 70 00:07:56,444 --> 00:07:59,980 [LAUGHTER] 71 00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:13,225 The presence must be around here somewhere. 72 00:08:13,227 --> 00:08:15,027 Harriet, your dad's going to catch us. 73 00:08:15,029 --> 00:08:16,628 Did you know the family who used to live here 74 00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:18,430 got killed on Christmas Eve? 75 00:08:18,432 --> 00:08:20,567 Really? 76 00:08:20,569 --> 00:08:21,568 Yeah, they never found the girl. 77 00:08:21,570 --> 00:08:23,237 Hi. 78 00:08:24,706 --> 00:08:28,108 I'm back home. 79 00:08:28,110 --> 00:08:29,609 I bought a bigger tree than we used to. 80 00:08:29,611 --> 00:08:32,512 [SCREAMS] 81 00:08:32,514 --> 00:08:35,515 [LAUGHTER] 82 00:08:35,517 --> 00:08:37,684 Mr Red, I have two new playmates. 83 00:08:37,686 --> 00:08:41,287 It's time for some fun. 84 00:08:41,289 --> 00:08:44,825 [LAUGHTER] 85 00:08:51,533 --> 00:08:53,833 Hello. 86 00:08:53,835 --> 00:08:56,137 We've had a call about a domestic disturbance. 87 00:08:58,407 --> 00:08:59,940 Is anyone home? 88 00:09:01,643 --> 00:09:03,177 Nice house. 89 00:09:16,491 --> 00:09:18,125 Fuck. 90 00:09:22,297 --> 00:09:23,931 Great first Christmas on the beat. 91 00:09:28,003 --> 00:09:30,603 Yeah, well, it's going to be a long one. 92 00:09:30,605 --> 00:09:31,838 While you doing area search down here, 93 00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:33,239 I'll do the same upstairs. 94 00:09:33,241 --> 00:09:37,410 (SINGING) The stars in the bright sky 95 00:09:37,412 --> 00:09:40,548 look down where he lay. 96 00:09:40,550 --> 00:09:42,015 Sounds like a girl. 97 00:09:42,017 --> 00:09:48,923 (SINGING) The little Lord Jesus asleep on the hay. 98 00:09:53,228 --> 00:10:00,935 The stars in the bright sky looked down where he lay. 99 00:10:01,269 --> 00:10:09,210 The little Lord Jesus asleep on the hay. 100 00:10:10,479 --> 00:10:18,152 The stars in the bright sky look down where lay, the little Lord. 101 00:10:21,423 --> 00:10:27,227 Jesus asleep on the hay. 102 00:10:27,229 --> 00:10:33,633 Hey, you OK? 103 00:10:33,635 --> 00:10:35,468 Of course, I'm OK, silly. 104 00:10:35,470 --> 00:10:39,205 It's Christmas. 105 00:10:39,207 --> 00:10:41,641 How do you come to join our party? 106 00:10:41,643 --> 00:10:43,343 Come on. 107 00:10:43,345 --> 00:10:44,210 Come out here with me. 108 00:10:44,212 --> 00:10:45,445 Why? 109 00:10:45,447 --> 00:10:47,647 Where are we going? 110 00:10:47,649 --> 00:10:50,049 Somewhere safe. 111 00:10:50,051 --> 00:10:53,119 I'm always safe with Mr. Red. 112 00:10:53,121 --> 00:10:54,487 Mr. Red. 113 00:10:54,489 --> 00:11:00,860 Yes, he's the ghost of Christmas future. 114 00:11:00,862 --> 00:11:02,996 Christmas future? 115 00:11:02,998 --> 00:11:04,798 He knows when everyone's going to die. 116 00:11:09,037 --> 00:11:10,703 Ray. 117 00:11:10,705 --> 00:11:12,373 Ray. 118 00:11:16,011 --> 00:11:18,311 It's the season to be jolly. 119 00:11:18,313 --> 00:11:21,448 [LAUGHTER] 120 00:11:32,460 --> 00:11:35,563 Oh, what the fuck. 121 00:11:35,565 --> 00:11:39,066 [LAUGHTER] 122 00:11:41,169 --> 00:11:43,571 I think it's time for the Christmas Holly. 123 00:11:43,573 --> 00:11:44,971 Wait. Wait. 124 00:11:44,973 --> 00:11:45,673 Wait, no, no, no, no, no. 125 00:11:45,675 --> 00:11:46,674 Wait. 126 00:11:46,676 --> 00:11:48,408 Wait, no, no. 127 00:11:48,410 --> 00:11:56,984 [SCREAMS] 128 00:12:05,827 --> 00:12:08,428 Wakey wakey. 129 00:12:08,430 --> 00:12:10,231 Did you like the Christmas decorations? 130 00:12:13,835 --> 00:12:16,135 The fuck's going on? 131 00:12:16,137 --> 00:12:18,371 Mr. Red is making things ready for Christmas. 132 00:12:18,373 --> 00:12:21,908 Please help me. 133 00:12:21,910 --> 00:12:23,711 Mr. Red is helping you, silly. 134 00:12:23,713 --> 00:12:25,613 Wait. 135 00:12:25,615 --> 00:12:28,682 I recognize you. 136 00:12:28,684 --> 00:12:31,985 You're the girl that we're missing five years ago. 137 00:12:31,987 --> 00:12:32,752 Her name is Chloe. 138 00:12:32,754 --> 00:12:35,855 Yes, that's me. 139 00:12:35,857 --> 00:12:37,524 What happened to you? 140 00:12:37,526 --> 00:12:40,493 I made new friends. 141 00:12:40,495 --> 00:12:44,397 I still see my family from time to time, especially my brother, 142 00:12:44,399 --> 00:12:45,799 like a Christmas ghost. 143 00:12:51,306 --> 00:12:54,240 We had so much fun with the family of this house this year. 144 00:12:54,242 --> 00:12:57,411 [LAUGHTER] 145 00:12:59,047 --> 00:13:02,482 Those arrested, killed together, stay together. 146 00:13:02,484 --> 00:13:05,853 [LAUGHTER] 147 00:13:11,326 --> 00:13:13,059 Please. 148 00:13:13,061 --> 00:13:16,530 Are you ready for some festive fun, Chloe. 149 00:13:16,532 --> 00:13:19,866 Mr. Red has a very fun surprise for you. 150 00:13:19,868 --> 00:13:21,535 What are you doing? 151 00:13:21,537 --> 00:13:22,703 Do you like lighting the Christmas pudding? 152 00:13:22,705 --> 00:13:24,070 Petrol. 153 00:13:24,072 --> 00:13:25,739 So much better than brandy. 154 00:13:25,741 --> 00:13:29,276 [LAUGHTER] 155 00:13:41,890 --> 00:13:45,491 Please, don't do it, please. 156 00:13:45,493 --> 00:13:47,561 Don't do it. 157 00:13:47,563 --> 00:13:50,998 [SCREAMING] 158 00:13:57,339 --> 00:14:01,908 And this was a very dull Mr. Red gave to her right 159 00:14:01,910 --> 00:14:04,444 before they took a trip with all the dead bodies in the sleigh 160 00:14:04,446 --> 00:14:06,113 van. 161 00:14:07,882 --> 00:14:10,984 [LAUGHTER] 162 00:14:16,759 --> 00:14:17,624 Sleigh van. 163 00:14:17,626 --> 00:14:19,392 Oh, yeah. 164 00:14:19,394 --> 00:14:22,195 Diesel is more efficient than reindeer, 165 00:14:22,197 --> 00:14:25,932 and you can get more dead bodies in a white van, especially 166 00:14:25,934 --> 00:14:26,834 kids. 167 00:14:26,836 --> 00:14:28,267 Smaller. 168 00:14:28,269 --> 00:14:30,303 What happened to the girl? 169 00:14:30,305 --> 00:14:32,972 She went into child care. 170 00:14:32,974 --> 00:14:36,008 If you can call it that. 171 00:14:36,010 --> 00:14:38,144 Strikes me she'd have been less dysfunctional 172 00:14:38,146 --> 00:14:40,814 if she'd stayed with the three escaped serial killers. 173 00:14:40,816 --> 00:14:45,218 Why were they dressed as a Santa, elf, and snowman? 174 00:14:45,220 --> 00:14:52,058 Mr. Red was a jolly arsonist who burnt down workshops. 175 00:14:52,060 --> 00:14:56,195 Mr. Green was a terrorist who mailed out Christmas crackers 176 00:14:56,197 --> 00:14:58,298 filled with explosives. 177 00:15:01,302 --> 00:15:06,272 And Mr. White, well, he froze people 178 00:15:06,274 --> 00:15:09,777 to eat for Christmas dinner. 179 00:15:09,779 --> 00:15:12,780 How did they all escape at once? 180 00:15:12,782 --> 00:15:16,884 Idiots put them all on the same ward, nicknamed them 181 00:15:16,886 --> 00:15:21,320 the three Christmas nutters, although they seriously 182 00:15:21,322 --> 00:15:23,122 underestimated the effectiveness of a Christmas tree 183 00:15:23,124 --> 00:15:25,458 as a battering ram. 184 00:15:25,460 --> 00:15:27,460 Jesus Christ. 185 00:15:27,462 --> 00:15:29,128 Oh, no. 186 00:15:29,130 --> 00:15:31,164 She never spoke to him. 187 00:15:31,166 --> 00:15:32,999 Funny, really. 188 00:15:33,001 --> 00:15:35,602 Whole festival dedicated to his birthday, 189 00:15:35,604 --> 00:15:38,304 and all anyone ever wants to do is write to me. 190 00:15:38,306 --> 00:15:40,973 The poor fucker was on a cross, died, 191 00:15:40,975 --> 00:15:42,709 and all they want is fucking presents. 192 00:15:42,711 --> 00:15:45,112 I've got enough fucking work to do at Christmas. 193 00:15:50,653 --> 00:15:55,221 Anyway, bloody Christmas. 194 00:15:55,223 --> 00:15:56,022 Now what else have I got in here? 195 00:15:56,024 --> 00:15:58,090 Oh, yeah. 196 00:15:58,092 --> 00:16:02,830 Now this is my new Teddy bear design. 197 00:16:02,832 --> 00:16:04,598 What do you think? 198 00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:07,301 I call him cuddles. 199 00:16:09,772 --> 00:16:12,639 What happened to him? 200 00:16:12,641 --> 00:16:20,280 Yeah, I think the elf in the workshop may have had issues. 201 00:16:21,717 --> 00:16:23,717 Reminds me of another bloke I know had issues. 202 00:16:23,719 --> 00:16:27,688 I tell you what, I could tell you a story about him 203 00:16:27,690 --> 00:16:29,189 that would cheer you up. 204 00:16:34,864 --> 00:16:37,531 He looks all right. 205 00:16:37,533 --> 00:16:42,669 That is because this is Dr. White. 206 00:16:42,671 --> 00:16:44,672 You wait until you meet his counterpart. 207 00:16:48,443 --> 00:16:53,112 This is a little festive tale I like to call the Ventriloquist. 208 00:16:53,114 --> 00:16:55,215 Who Stole Christmas. 209 00:16:58,687 --> 00:17:03,122 So why did the man only wear one boot to town? 210 00:17:03,124 --> 00:17:06,260 Because the weather forecast only gave 50% chance of snow. 211 00:17:10,298 --> 00:17:12,365 Hey, do you know frosty the snowman reminds 212 00:17:12,367 --> 00:17:13,534 me of my dad, Dr. White? 213 00:17:13,536 --> 00:17:15,234 Why? 214 00:17:15,236 --> 00:17:17,771 Because he used to buy you lots of slush puppies? 215 00:17:17,773 --> 00:17:21,174 No, because he said he'd come back one day. 216 00:17:26,982 --> 00:17:31,018 I had a threesome with two princesses yesterday. 217 00:17:31,020 --> 00:17:32,251 That's disgusting, Dr. White. 218 00:17:32,253 --> 00:17:33,486 Why are you telling me that? 219 00:17:33,488 --> 00:17:38,257 Because you told me to let it go. 220 00:17:38,259 --> 00:17:39,993 Not like that, I didn't. 221 00:17:39,995 --> 00:17:41,962 If you carry on like that, they'll put you on a list. 222 00:17:41,964 --> 00:17:44,130 What sort of list? 223 00:17:44,132 --> 00:17:45,899 A. Very naughty list. 224 00:17:45,901 --> 00:17:48,167 Cool. 225 00:17:48,169 --> 00:17:51,905 Well, I know where all the naughty girls are like Santa. 226 00:17:51,907 --> 00:17:53,874 No, not like Santa. 227 00:17:53,876 --> 00:17:55,976 Cool. 228 00:17:55,978 --> 00:18:01,447 Do you know why Santa doesn't have any kids? 229 00:18:01,449 --> 00:18:04,384 Because he only comes once a year. 230 00:18:06,454 --> 00:18:07,453 Right. 231 00:18:07,455 --> 00:18:09,723 Well, I think we've seen enough. 232 00:18:09,725 --> 00:18:11,223 Mr. White. 233 00:18:11,225 --> 00:18:13,192 Don't call us. 234 00:18:13,194 --> 00:18:17,798 Well, don't call us. 235 00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:20,166 Did you not like it? 236 00:18:20,168 --> 00:18:21,935 It's not quite what we're looking 237 00:18:21,937 --> 00:18:24,303 for for this year's outbound for the elderly Christmas 238 00:18:24,305 --> 00:18:26,039 variety show. 239 00:18:26,041 --> 00:18:28,207 This is Margate. 240 00:18:28,209 --> 00:18:29,576 Hey, maybe you should head to Brighton. 241 00:18:29,578 --> 00:18:31,812 They like weird stuff there. 242 00:18:31,814 --> 00:18:36,115 Here they like virulent, happy families, and warm coffins. 243 00:18:36,117 --> 00:18:39,218 Oh, I mean coffees. 244 00:18:39,220 --> 00:18:42,889 I can mix it up a bit and make it a bit more progressive. 245 00:18:42,891 --> 00:18:46,492 I think you've progressed as far as you can. 246 00:18:46,494 --> 00:18:49,128 Any more progressive I won't have to call the police. 247 00:18:49,130 --> 00:18:51,565 It's all just a bit, well, creepy. 248 00:18:51,567 --> 00:18:53,800 Well, Christmas is all about a fat man 249 00:18:53,802 --> 00:18:56,135 climbing into people's homes and little children's bedrooms. 250 00:18:56,137 --> 00:18:57,804 Quite, Dr. White. 251 00:18:57,806 --> 00:18:59,740 We've got lots of people to see and your time is... 252 00:18:59,742 --> 00:19:02,943 Was up. 253 00:19:02,945 --> 00:19:05,512 Keep it on the down low, but we've got a break dancing 254 00:19:05,514 --> 00:19:06,913 reindeer who got through to the semi-finals 255 00:19:06,915 --> 00:19:08,482 of Britain's Got Talent. 256 00:19:14,957 --> 00:19:17,924 Hugo, we've got a problem. 257 00:19:17,926 --> 00:19:20,393 What is it, Leroy? 258 00:19:20,395 --> 00:19:22,129 It's Mrs. Crimpton. 259 00:19:22,131 --> 00:19:23,798 Oh, God. 260 00:19:26,434 --> 00:19:28,035 She turned up to do her annual striptease. 261 00:19:28,037 --> 00:19:30,570 Oh, God. 262 00:19:30,572 --> 00:19:32,105 Has she escaped from the hospital again? 263 00:19:32,107 --> 00:19:33,740 I think so. 264 00:19:33,742 --> 00:19:35,976 She's wearing one of those gowns without the back in. 265 00:19:35,978 --> 00:19:37,645 Oh. 266 00:19:40,381 --> 00:19:42,181 Hello, Henry. 267 00:19:42,183 --> 00:19:44,619 Oh, you're looking tired. 268 00:19:48,691 --> 00:19:50,957 You are not auditioning him. 269 00:19:50,959 --> 00:19:52,859 Don't be like that, Henry. 270 00:19:52,861 --> 00:19:56,096 Nothing wrong with a bit of healthy competition, 271 00:19:56,098 --> 00:20:00,033 although you are getting on a bit. 272 00:20:00,035 --> 00:20:02,569 It's called experience. 273 00:20:02,571 --> 00:20:05,172 It's one way of putting it. 274 00:20:05,174 --> 00:20:09,142 And don't you think your act's a little bit racist these days? 275 00:20:09,144 --> 00:20:13,113 I mean, Dr. White? 276 00:20:13,115 --> 00:20:15,582 I'm a snowman. 277 00:20:15,584 --> 00:20:17,784 That's a politically incorrect snow 278 00:20:17,786 --> 00:20:23,156 person, unlike myself, Professor Trueheart and Bobbin Buttons. 279 00:20:23,158 --> 00:20:25,224 You're a fucking cunt. 280 00:20:25,226 --> 00:20:26,159 What did you say? 281 00:20:26,161 --> 00:20:27,359 I said you're... 282 00:20:27,361 --> 00:20:29,563 Don't talk, Dr. White. 283 00:20:29,565 --> 00:20:33,100 Are you having another meltdown? 284 00:20:33,102 --> 00:20:36,036 Rehab not go well. 285 00:20:36,038 --> 00:20:37,971 He Stole my father's act. 286 00:20:37,973 --> 00:20:41,174 , Henry no one cares about your father and his lame 287 00:20:41,176 --> 00:20:42,877 ass forgotten show in Norway. 288 00:20:48,584 --> 00:20:50,417 Don't talk about my father. 289 00:20:58,093 --> 00:20:59,960 As the lawyers told you, there's 290 00:20:59,962 --> 00:21:03,196 not a copyright on Snowman, and Bobbins and I 291 00:21:03,198 --> 00:21:04,664 sell a lot better than you. 292 00:21:04,666 --> 00:21:06,867 I mean, let's face it. 293 00:21:06,869 --> 00:21:08,635 It's not like I've won the children's award 294 00:21:08,637 --> 00:21:11,037 of Margate five years in a row. 295 00:21:11,039 --> 00:21:12,973 Oh, wait, that's a coincidence. 296 00:21:12,975 --> 00:21:13,774 I actually have. 297 00:21:13,776 --> 00:21:16,811 [LAUGHTER] 298 00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:24,450 I could be as big as you, but I've got principles. 299 00:21:24,452 --> 00:21:25,786 I've got a newsflash for you, Henry. 300 00:21:25,788 --> 00:21:27,854 Wake up grandad. 301 00:21:27,856 --> 00:21:30,357 Your act is dead. 302 00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:41,034 For the love of God, why are there two snowmen 303 00:21:41,036 --> 00:21:44,303 having a fight on my fucking stage? 304 00:21:44,305 --> 00:21:48,910 Leroy, get them out of here and fetch me a ginseng tea. 305 00:21:50,913 --> 00:21:52,646 Fuck. 306 00:21:52,648 --> 00:21:54,848 This, is Prancer the reindeer breakdancer. 307 00:21:54,850 --> 00:21:56,149 Yeah, no shit. 308 00:21:56,151 --> 00:21:57,551 Hello. 309 00:21:57,553 --> 00:21:59,687 No, am I on stage now then or? 310 00:22:18,472 --> 00:22:20,372 Don't worry, Dr. White. 311 00:22:20,374 --> 00:22:21,575 You'll get the next job. 312 00:22:21,577 --> 00:22:23,077 Yes, we will. 313 00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:26,848 Dr. White? 314 00:22:31,352 --> 00:22:32,319 These are those Christmas adverts. 315 00:22:32,321 --> 00:22:34,386 Nah, man. 316 00:22:34,388 --> 00:22:36,388 It's the bad boy, did the cookie adverts. 317 00:22:36,390 --> 00:22:39,060 Yeah, it's him. 318 00:22:43,632 --> 00:22:44,396 Come on, man. 319 00:22:44,398 --> 00:22:45,765 Cheer up. 320 00:22:45,767 --> 00:22:48,467 Yeah, it's Christmas. 321 00:22:48,469 --> 00:22:49,401 Yo, where's the puppet? 322 00:22:49,403 --> 00:22:52,940 [LAUGHTER] 323 00:23:14,263 --> 00:23:16,830 Fuck off. 324 00:23:16,832 --> 00:23:19,499 You want to see the act, big man. 325 00:23:19,501 --> 00:23:22,369 Come on. 326 00:23:22,371 --> 00:23:25,572 Don't trouble, guys. 327 00:23:25,574 --> 00:23:27,574 Raise your festive cheer, wacker. 328 00:23:27,576 --> 00:23:29,042 [MOCKING LAUGHTER] 329 00:23:29,044 --> 00:23:31,477 I'm Dr. White. 330 00:23:31,479 --> 00:23:33,213 What's that? 331 00:23:33,215 --> 00:23:34,446 Why don't you shut up? 332 00:23:34,448 --> 00:23:37,217 [GRUNTS] 333 00:23:37,219 --> 00:23:41,721 Man, oh, dear. 334 00:23:41,723 --> 00:23:43,624 We all know no English now. 335 00:23:54,603 --> 00:23:55,502 Come on, let's go. 336 00:23:55,504 --> 00:23:57,071 Let's go. 337 00:23:59,608 --> 00:24:01,809 [GROANING] 338 00:24:43,484 --> 00:24:45,886 Henry, what's happened to your face? 339 00:24:48,790 --> 00:24:52,325 Tragic crowd surfing accident. 340 00:24:52,327 --> 00:24:54,928 Sarcasm doesn't help with your problems. 341 00:24:54,930 --> 00:24:58,064 But what excuse do you have for your face then? 342 00:24:58,066 --> 00:25:00,867 And I thought we agreed no more puppets at our meetings. 343 00:25:00,869 --> 00:25:02,871 He's having a sudden act. 344 00:25:05,842 --> 00:25:08,242 Do you want to tell me what happened at the school? 345 00:25:08,244 --> 00:25:12,213 And that's why there'll be no snow in Africa this year 346 00:25:12,215 --> 00:25:14,215 because of your parents. 347 00:25:14,217 --> 00:25:15,883 But how are we supposed to get anywhere 348 00:25:15,885 --> 00:25:17,284 if we can't use planes? 349 00:25:17,286 --> 00:25:18,486 Swim. 350 00:25:18,488 --> 00:25:20,721 I can't swim to Disneyland. 351 00:25:20,723 --> 00:25:22,823 Think of the Dolphins. 352 00:25:22,825 --> 00:25:23,991 Fuck the Dolphins. 353 00:25:23,993 --> 00:25:25,292 Oh, shut up, you little... 354 00:25:25,294 --> 00:25:27,561 Cunt. 355 00:25:27,563 --> 00:25:30,598 Conservation Under National Threat. 356 00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:33,502 Exactly. 357 00:25:33,504 --> 00:25:38,105 I wasn't swearing. 358 00:25:38,107 --> 00:25:40,608 Is it any wonder you lost the job? 359 00:25:40,610 --> 00:25:42,343 Don't start that again. 360 00:25:42,345 --> 00:25:44,378 It's not funny. 361 00:25:44,380 --> 00:25:48,282 Apparently, I'm not that funny anymore. 362 00:25:48,284 --> 00:25:50,317 Going around teaching global warming to kids. 363 00:25:50,319 --> 00:25:56,123 Seriously, who cares if the ice caps melt? 364 00:25:56,125 --> 00:25:59,226 And why is it you're teaching to year-sevens? 365 00:25:59,228 --> 00:26:02,930 Because my co-worker got caught doing cocaine, shooting 366 00:26:02,932 --> 00:26:07,134 snow sprinkled cookie adverts. 367 00:26:07,136 --> 00:26:10,838 Well, the official line is you had a breakdown, 368 00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:12,907 the company didn't want to get sued, 369 00:26:12,909 --> 00:26:15,510 and what with all the kids on set and the snowman 370 00:26:15,512 --> 00:26:19,747 snorting all the snow, but yes, it's not a good look 371 00:26:19,749 --> 00:26:21,316 for a children's entertainer. 372 00:26:24,153 --> 00:26:26,887 That's all I am to you, isn't it? 373 00:26:26,889 --> 00:26:30,458 A children's entertainer. 374 00:26:30,460 --> 00:26:32,593 And I can't even get a job in Southern Panto. 375 00:26:32,595 --> 00:26:35,564 Henry, I am not your agent. 376 00:26:35,566 --> 00:26:36,997 I am your therapist. 377 00:26:36,999 --> 00:26:40,601 Yeah, so you keep reminding me. 378 00:26:40,603 --> 00:26:43,304 I can't get one of those anymore. 379 00:26:43,306 --> 00:26:48,642 Maybe it's a good idea to think about another career. 380 00:26:48,644 --> 00:26:50,911 Get out of the ventriloquist business. 381 00:26:50,913 --> 00:26:52,746 It could do you good. 382 00:26:52,748 --> 00:26:53,647 What would the memory of your father... 383 00:26:53,649 --> 00:26:55,483 Don't say it. 384 00:26:55,485 --> 00:26:58,353 Don't mention my father. 385 00:27:02,091 --> 00:27:04,826 You always have to twist it round back to my childhood. 386 00:27:07,598 --> 00:27:11,265 You need to bury the past. 387 00:27:11,267 --> 00:27:17,638 [NON-ENGLISH SPEECH] 388 00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:19,774 What are you saying now? 389 00:27:23,346 --> 00:27:25,147 He said you're being very helpful. 390 00:27:34,157 --> 00:27:36,023 Time's up. 391 00:27:36,025 --> 00:27:37,826 I'll see you next Friday, without the puppet. 392 00:27:45,234 --> 00:27:46,601 It's time to go. 393 00:27:46,603 --> 00:27:47,536 He's going to be here soon. 394 00:27:47,538 --> 00:27:48,702 Who cares? 395 00:27:48,704 --> 00:27:49,703 You're leaving him anyway. 396 00:27:49,705 --> 00:27:50,971 I know. 397 00:27:50,973 --> 00:27:52,339 He's fucking weird in the head. 398 00:27:52,341 --> 00:27:53,374 Just like his dad then. 399 00:27:53,376 --> 00:27:54,942 Yeah. 400 00:27:54,944 --> 00:27:56,944 You know he doesn't even talk to his mom. 401 00:27:56,946 --> 00:27:59,514 There's only something off there. 402 00:27:59,516 --> 00:28:00,681 Forget about him. 403 00:28:00,683 --> 00:28:02,316 You don't get it, Brandon. 404 00:28:02,318 --> 00:28:04,118 His dad didn't just leave him with that puppet. 405 00:28:04,120 --> 00:28:06,987 He left him with a whole load of crazy. 406 00:28:06,989 --> 00:28:08,889 I can think of a lot better things to do with my hands 407 00:28:08,891 --> 00:28:10,357 than play with a puppet. 408 00:28:10,359 --> 00:28:12,993 I'm sure you can. 409 00:28:12,995 --> 00:28:14,361 I dread to think what he thinks about you. 410 00:28:14,363 --> 00:28:15,996 Oh, don't. 411 00:28:15,998 --> 00:28:17,898 Like, it's too creepy to even think about. 412 00:28:17,900 --> 00:28:19,568 You know he's into you though. 413 00:28:19,570 --> 00:28:20,935 Yeah, I know. 414 00:28:20,937 --> 00:28:22,637 It's all for me. 415 00:28:22,639 --> 00:28:24,639 You living with him. 416 00:28:24,641 --> 00:28:26,807 Don't you think you're giving him mixed signals? 417 00:28:26,809 --> 00:28:30,744 Fuck off. 418 00:28:30,746 --> 00:28:32,746 Does he notice you stealing all this snow? 419 00:28:32,748 --> 00:28:34,516 Yeah, why do you think I'd stay? 420 00:28:34,518 --> 00:28:35,883 It'll be some perks living with the snowman, right? 421 00:28:35,885 --> 00:28:39,420 [LAUGHTER] 422 00:28:39,422 --> 00:28:42,823 Oh, and for my next trick, this assistant's 423 00:28:42,825 --> 00:28:43,857 going to make it snow. 424 00:28:43,859 --> 00:28:44,725 Fuck shit. 425 00:28:44,727 --> 00:28:46,427 He's here. 426 00:28:46,429 --> 00:28:47,963 Get dressed. 427 00:28:51,901 --> 00:28:55,402 Back early from therapy. 428 00:28:55,404 --> 00:28:57,037 What the fuck happened? 429 00:28:57,039 --> 00:28:58,405 You been drinking again. 430 00:28:58,407 --> 00:29:01,942 It's nothing. 431 00:29:01,944 --> 00:29:03,345 Where were you today for the audition? 432 00:29:06,749 --> 00:29:09,450 I really needed you. 433 00:29:09,452 --> 00:29:11,519 I told you, Henry, I don't want to be your assistant anymore. 434 00:29:11,521 --> 00:29:13,120 Don't you get it? 435 00:29:13,122 --> 00:29:15,724 We've not made any money since you came back from rehab. 436 00:29:15,726 --> 00:29:21,696 But listen, I've got a really good idea for a new TV show. 437 00:29:21,698 --> 00:29:25,099 It's going to be really good. 438 00:29:25,101 --> 00:29:28,769 So just wait a little longer here. 439 00:29:28,771 --> 00:29:30,337 Face it, Henry. 440 00:29:30,339 --> 00:29:32,107 You're never going to be as good as your dad. 441 00:29:35,612 --> 00:29:38,747 Please, I know that I can turn this act around. 442 00:29:38,749 --> 00:29:40,147 Don't you get it? 443 00:29:40,149 --> 00:29:43,017 People are not into this puppet stuff anymore. 444 00:29:43,019 --> 00:29:45,085 They're into like CGI and superhero shit, 445 00:29:45,087 --> 00:29:48,122 not a fucking talking snowman. 446 00:29:48,124 --> 00:29:50,924 Any day now, people are going to want puppets again. 447 00:29:50,926 --> 00:29:53,494 Listen, Henry. 448 00:29:53,496 --> 00:29:56,196 I've got an agent. 449 00:29:56,198 --> 00:29:58,465 I might as well tell you now, but I'm moving to London. 450 00:29:58,467 --> 00:29:59,833 I've actually got an audition next week. 451 00:29:59,835 --> 00:30:01,268 It's for [INAUDIBLE] too. 452 00:30:01,270 --> 00:30:04,972 It's going to be like a real art house piece. 453 00:30:04,974 --> 00:30:08,442 You can't leave me. 454 00:30:08,444 --> 00:30:11,478 If you leave me now, you'll regret it. 455 00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:14,448 Your show's shit, just like everything else you do. 456 00:30:14,450 --> 00:30:16,283 Listen, mate. 457 00:30:16,285 --> 00:30:18,852 It's over. 458 00:30:18,854 --> 00:30:21,388 Who's this? 459 00:30:21,390 --> 00:30:25,092 Someone who doesn't play with toys for a fucking living. 460 00:30:25,094 --> 00:30:26,193 What are you? 461 00:30:26,195 --> 00:30:27,061 50? 462 00:30:27,063 --> 00:30:29,597 Leave it, Brandon. 463 00:30:29,599 --> 00:30:31,332 Can't leave me for him. 464 00:30:31,334 --> 00:30:34,602 He, unlike you, he actually believes in me, 465 00:30:34,604 --> 00:30:36,604 that I'm not going to be some stupid assistant 466 00:30:36,606 --> 00:30:38,607 to a fucking freak like you. 467 00:30:43,913 --> 00:30:45,313 I won't let you go. 468 00:30:48,050 --> 00:30:50,852 You don't have a choice, mate. 469 00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:06,735 Come on, Jade. 470 00:31:06,737 --> 00:31:08,136 I'll wait in the car for you. 471 00:31:16,580 --> 00:31:19,179 It's over, Henry. 472 00:31:19,181 --> 00:31:21,116 Just like your stupid puppet show. 473 00:31:35,164 --> 00:31:43,572 [NON-ENGLISH SPEECH] 474 00:34:55,130 --> 00:34:58,634 [MUSIC PLAYING] 475 00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:41,375 Look at you laying there. 476 00:35:41,377 --> 00:35:42,911 You're pathetic. 477 00:35:45,347 --> 00:35:47,949 You scare the kids. 478 00:35:47,951 --> 00:35:52,185 Yeah you're a loser, Henry. 479 00:35:52,187 --> 00:35:54,723 That's why you don't win any awards. 480 00:36:01,665 --> 00:36:03,765 Face it. 481 00:36:03,767 --> 00:36:08,402 You should have died in Norway like your father, 482 00:36:08,404 --> 00:36:12,875 but now, you're going to die in Margate. 483 00:36:24,253 --> 00:36:25,620 What time is it? 484 00:36:25,622 --> 00:36:27,790 It's time to get up, Henry. 485 00:36:37,299 --> 00:36:40,703 [MUSIC PLAYING] 486 00:36:50,279 --> 00:36:51,846 All right, me darling. 487 00:36:51,848 --> 00:36:56,050 Let's get you going. 488 00:36:56,052 --> 00:36:59,721 Now you've been taking your tablets because you know if you 489 00:36:59,723 --> 00:37:01,022 don't, you're going to have to go 490 00:37:01,024 --> 00:37:02,657 and stay in the special house. 491 00:37:02,659 --> 00:37:04,625 We have to sign out the knives, don't you 492 00:37:04,627 --> 00:37:06,828 if you want to make a sandwich. 493 00:37:06,830 --> 00:37:09,697 Yes. 494 00:37:09,699 --> 00:37:12,633 I've been taking my medication, Doris. 495 00:37:12,635 --> 00:37:15,803 I'm very glad to hear that, Henry. 496 00:37:15,805 --> 00:37:17,839 Now what have you got on there me lover? 497 00:37:17,841 --> 00:37:20,508 Hey, hey, hey, come on. 498 00:37:20,510 --> 00:37:24,645 This... this is for your own safety. 499 00:37:24,647 --> 00:37:26,446 You know you're not supposed to have any ties, 500 00:37:26,448 --> 00:37:28,416 no dressing gown coats. 501 00:37:32,387 --> 00:37:34,355 Don't want to end up like your old pa. 502 00:37:46,368 --> 00:37:48,836 It was time you used getting dressed anyways. 503 00:37:48,838 --> 00:37:51,304 Dirty Doris. 504 00:37:51,306 --> 00:37:52,808 What was that? 505 00:37:56,012 --> 00:37:57,780 He said goodbye, Doris. 506 00:38:00,083 --> 00:38:02,650 Right. 507 00:38:02,652 --> 00:38:03,785 I'll go and check the rest of the place. 508 00:38:03,787 --> 00:38:04,619 Don't you move. 509 00:38:04,621 --> 00:38:06,021 I'll be right back. 510 00:38:08,925 --> 00:38:10,526 What's this doing here? 511 00:38:14,063 --> 00:38:15,631 I'll be taking this with me now. 512 00:38:27,277 --> 00:38:35,818 [BELL DINGS] 513 00:38:37,821 --> 00:38:38,953 Mr. White. 514 00:38:38,955 --> 00:38:39,987 DCI Hamilton. 515 00:38:39,989 --> 00:38:41,989 DCI Cross. 516 00:38:41,991 --> 00:38:43,692 May we come in and have a word, please. 517 00:38:47,230 --> 00:38:48,361 Is this going to take long? 518 00:38:48,363 --> 00:38:49,664 Why? 519 00:38:49,666 --> 00:38:51,033 Have you got somewhere to be? 520 00:38:53,468 --> 00:38:55,837 Yeah, I do actually. 521 00:38:55,839 --> 00:38:59,674 I've got an interview about a new TV show I'm making. 522 00:38:59,676 --> 00:39:01,710 Are you going with or without your trousers? 523 00:39:07,150 --> 00:39:08,884 Is that the puppet your dad used to use? 524 00:39:12,622 --> 00:39:15,156 Have you come about my puppet? 525 00:39:15,158 --> 00:39:21,295 No, we're not interested in booking any children's parties. 526 00:39:21,297 --> 00:39:24,065 Brian McHugh, better known as Professor Trueheart, 527 00:39:24,067 --> 00:39:25,499 has gone missing. 528 00:39:28,304 --> 00:39:30,638 Oh, I am sorry to hear that. 529 00:39:30,640 --> 00:39:34,675 His puppet's gone too. 530 00:39:34,677 --> 00:39:37,144 Well, no one would want that thing. 531 00:39:37,146 --> 00:39:40,314 Least of all, me. 532 00:39:40,316 --> 00:39:42,583 I've got my own, haven't I? 533 00:39:42,585 --> 00:39:43,918 We heard you had an altercation 534 00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:46,554 down at the Tom Thumb Theater. 535 00:39:46,556 --> 00:39:49,857 He stole my father's act. 536 00:39:49,859 --> 00:39:54,328 I was standing up for what's mine and my father's. 537 00:39:54,330 --> 00:39:55,495 He killed himself, didn't he? 538 00:39:55,497 --> 00:39:57,565 Your father? 539 00:39:57,567 --> 00:39:58,933 Must have been hard on you as a kid, 540 00:39:58,935 --> 00:40:00,201 but with your mom leaving as well. 541 00:40:00,203 --> 00:40:01,535 Yeah, where'd she go? 542 00:40:01,537 --> 00:40:04,572 Well, you tell me. 543 00:40:04,574 --> 00:40:07,308 You seem to know a lot about me. 544 00:40:07,310 --> 00:40:10,144 Well, we know your mom went missing, was never found. 545 00:40:10,146 --> 00:40:12,813 We also a group of young girls in Norway around that area 546 00:40:12,815 --> 00:40:15,650 went missing right about the same time, 547 00:40:15,652 --> 00:40:19,486 surely before your dad took his own life. 548 00:40:19,488 --> 00:40:21,757 [NON-ENGLISH SPEECH] 549 00:41:19,148 --> 00:41:22,750 I don't like where are you going with this. 550 00:41:22,752 --> 00:41:26,587 Those young girls had nothing to do with my father. 551 00:41:26,589 --> 00:41:30,758 Just making conversation. 552 00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:32,893 So you know nothing about Brian McHugh. 553 00:41:32,895 --> 00:41:35,963 The last time I saw him was at the theater yesterday. 554 00:41:35,965 --> 00:41:38,266 Well, if you do think of anything, give us a call. 555 00:41:43,607 --> 00:41:46,141 We'll show ourselves out. 556 00:41:46,143 --> 00:41:50,512 Oh, and good luck with the TV show. 557 00:41:50,514 --> 00:41:52,115 Yeah, don't forget your trousers. 558 00:42:04,061 --> 00:42:05,695 Fuck. 559 00:42:11,268 --> 00:42:13,402 We're sorry Mr. White, but we're going to have 560 00:42:13,404 --> 00:42:15,337 to cancel your interview today. 561 00:42:15,339 --> 00:42:16,638 We don't think you're quite right for this channel 562 00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:17,773 moving forward. 563 00:42:17,775 --> 00:42:19,075 We wish you all the best. 564 00:42:25,716 --> 00:42:34,123 [NON-ENGLISH SPEECH] 565 00:42:35,059 --> 00:42:41,930 [BELL DINGS] 566 00:42:41,932 --> 00:42:43,633 It's built for carol singers, isn't it? 567 00:42:52,676 --> 00:42:54,510 You're right? 568 00:42:54,512 --> 00:42:56,778 Who are you? 569 00:42:56,780 --> 00:43:00,315 I can be whoever you want me to be. 570 00:43:00,317 --> 00:43:01,583 I didn't call you. 571 00:43:01,585 --> 00:43:03,919 Well, someone did. 572 00:43:03,921 --> 00:43:05,354 I ain't leaving till I've been paid. 573 00:43:20,572 --> 00:43:24,106 My father once brought a girl like you back to our house. 574 00:43:24,108 --> 00:43:25,675 Oh, yeah. 575 00:43:36,019 --> 00:43:37,687 Would you like a cup of tea? 576 00:43:40,858 --> 00:43:42,090 Don't know the first thing I'm asked? 577 00:43:42,092 --> 00:43:42,791 Go on then. 578 00:43:42,793 --> 00:43:43,859 Milk, no sugar. 579 00:43:43,861 --> 00:43:45,361 Sweet enough. 580 00:43:56,740 --> 00:43:59,708 What the fuck is this thing? 581 00:43:59,710 --> 00:44:01,144 That's Dr. White. 582 00:44:02,614 --> 00:44:03,812 What? 583 00:44:03,814 --> 00:44:05,981 I always get the weird ones. 584 00:44:05,983 --> 00:44:07,383 Why is he a doctor? 585 00:44:10,220 --> 00:44:13,923 He fixes things, especially people. 586 00:44:17,094 --> 00:44:19,427 Well, I like what you've done with the place. 587 00:44:19,429 --> 00:44:21,063 Makes a change in the back of a car. 588 00:44:23,367 --> 00:44:31,908 [MUSIC PLAYING] 589 00:44:32,876 --> 00:44:34,876 Got any biscuits? 590 00:44:34,878 --> 00:44:37,746 No, sorry. 591 00:44:37,748 --> 00:44:41,016 I'm on a diet. 592 00:44:41,018 --> 00:44:44,019 The doctor said I've got to cut back. 593 00:44:44,021 --> 00:44:46,923 A real doctor or doctor puppet? 594 00:44:49,126 --> 00:44:51,627 Dr. White is a real doctor. 595 00:44:51,629 --> 00:44:53,796 Sorry if I hurt his feelings. 596 00:44:58,802 --> 00:45:00,670 Hey, could I record you? 597 00:45:00,672 --> 00:45:03,972 I don't do videos, mate. 598 00:45:03,974 --> 00:45:07,475 No, Dr. White and I are putting together a new act. 599 00:45:07,477 --> 00:45:08,611 Act? 600 00:45:08,613 --> 00:45:11,112 Yeah. 601 00:45:11,114 --> 00:45:15,083 We're putting together a pilot for a new TV show. 602 00:45:15,085 --> 00:45:21,056 Our last assistant left. 603 00:45:21,058 --> 00:45:24,726 Hey, would you like to be the star of my new show? 604 00:45:24,728 --> 00:45:26,728 I'm... I'm not sure. 605 00:45:26,730 --> 00:45:28,797 Yeah, let me show you what Dr. White 606 00:45:28,799 --> 00:45:30,299 and I've been putting together. 607 00:45:36,940 --> 00:45:38,441 What is this? 608 00:45:52,889 --> 00:45:54,323 I'm leaving now, Henry. 609 00:46:03,934 --> 00:46:06,134 The fuck is wrong with you, Henry? 610 00:46:06,136 --> 00:46:08,971 Don't talk to him, he just pulls the sleigh. 611 00:46:12,909 --> 00:46:14,744 Jade, what's taking you so long? 612 00:46:14,746 --> 00:46:15,877 [MUSIC PLAYING] 613 00:46:15,879 --> 00:46:19,180 [INAUDIBLE] have turned white. 614 00:46:19,182 --> 00:46:21,717 Santa is dropping bombs tonight. 615 00:46:21,719 --> 00:46:22,652 Jade. 616 00:46:22,654 --> 00:46:24,419 [MUSIC PLAYING] 617 00:46:24,421 --> 00:46:32,028 It's getting cold is the snow, and I know you won't be home. 618 00:46:32,462 --> 00:46:37,832 I'm changing you in fall out light. 619 00:46:37,834 --> 00:46:41,436 And I can see your lips turning blue. 620 00:46:41,438 --> 00:46:42,437 I shouldn't... 621 00:46:42,439 --> 00:46:43,939 What the fuck? 622 00:46:46,644 --> 00:46:49,044 What the fuck, you sick fucking bastard! 623 00:46:49,046 --> 00:46:50,011 Please, no. 624 00:46:50,013 --> 00:46:51,781 [CRYING], please. 625 00:46:51,783 --> 00:46:54,717 Get off me! 626 00:46:54,719 --> 00:46:57,553 Fucking bastard, let me go! 627 00:46:57,555 --> 00:47:00,989 He's got brain freeze. 628 00:47:00,991 --> 00:47:04,025 [LAUGHTER] 629 00:47:04,027 --> 00:47:12,569 [SCREAMING] 630 00:47:15,506 --> 00:47:16,838 [MUSIC PLAYING] 631 00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:20,108 They would be pulling out of town. 632 00:47:20,110 --> 00:47:22,044 Starting [INAUDIBLE]. 633 00:47:26,416 --> 00:47:34,056 My hunting rifle ordered here, watching ash fall from the sky, 634 00:47:34,559 --> 00:47:36,192 Henry. 635 00:47:37,762 --> 00:47:39,060 [MUSIC PLAYING] 636 00:47:39,062 --> 00:47:42,865 None of the children gone to hunt... 637 00:47:44,769 --> 00:47:47,737 Henry. 638 00:47:47,739 --> 00:47:49,538 This Pinocchio. 639 00:47:49,540 --> 00:47:51,339 Let me go, please. 640 00:47:51,341 --> 00:47:54,844 Thought he was a real boy. 641 00:47:54,846 --> 00:47:56,478 No! 642 00:47:56,480 --> 00:47:59,115 Dr. White, fix him. 643 00:48:01,819 --> 00:48:06,488 I got strings to hold me up. 644 00:48:06,490 --> 00:48:09,692 Pinocchio, he's waving at you through the River Martis. 645 00:48:09,694 --> 00:48:12,094 [SINISTER LAUGHTER] 646 00:48:13,964 --> 00:48:15,397 Please let me go. 647 00:48:15,399 --> 00:48:17,399 [CRYING] 648 00:48:17,401 --> 00:48:19,835 [SCREAMING] 649 00:48:19,837 --> 00:48:21,505 No. 650 00:48:22,906 --> 00:48:24,574 No. 651 00:48:29,079 --> 00:48:31,946 The puppet show. 652 00:48:31,948 --> 00:48:34,684 [LAUGHTER] 653 00:48:37,622 --> 00:48:42,056 Oh, Oh, Franza, what are you doing? 654 00:48:42,058 --> 00:48:44,392 Oh, I'm just hanging around. 655 00:48:44,394 --> 00:48:48,296 [LAUGHTER] 656 00:48:48,298 --> 00:48:51,801 I was stupid to think that I could ever replace 657 00:48:51,803 --> 00:48:55,604 this sweet and talented Henry. 658 00:48:55,606 --> 00:49:01,409 Wolfe, he's got the best act in the whole of Margate. 659 00:49:01,411 --> 00:49:04,681 [LAUGHTER] 660 00:49:12,088 --> 00:49:12,822 Oh, my God. 661 00:49:12,824 --> 00:49:13,923 Jesus. 662 00:49:13,925 --> 00:49:14,924 Oh, my God. 663 00:49:14,926 --> 00:49:16,024 Oh, my God. 664 00:49:16,026 --> 00:49:17,492 Oh, God. 665 00:49:17,494 --> 00:49:18,661 Oh, shit. 666 00:49:18,663 --> 00:49:21,030 Oh, oh, my God. 667 00:49:26,036 --> 00:49:27,837 I haven't been taking my happy pills. 668 00:49:27,839 --> 00:49:31,207 [LAUGHTER] 669 00:49:33,109 --> 00:49:35,477 I didn't need a mouth. 670 00:49:35,479 --> 00:49:38,247 Consider yourself checked out. 671 00:49:45,121 --> 00:49:47,657 I wonder what they're dreaming about. 672 00:50:00,838 --> 00:50:05,774 Henry, what are you doing. 673 00:50:05,776 --> 00:50:08,142 I'm sorry. 674 00:50:08,144 --> 00:50:10,012 I brought the puppet with me again. 675 00:50:12,683 --> 00:50:14,450 We've been having fun. 676 00:50:18,188 --> 00:50:20,255 Henry, you're not supposed to be here. 677 00:50:20,257 --> 00:50:22,758 You were right. 678 00:50:22,760 --> 00:50:27,328 There are some things I didn't tell you about my father. 679 00:50:27,330 --> 00:50:31,800 He used to kill young girls. 680 00:50:31,802 --> 00:50:36,104 And then he'd make love to their bodies in the snow. 681 00:50:36,106 --> 00:50:38,974 My mother found his trophies. 682 00:50:38,976 --> 00:50:47,383 [NON-ENGLISH SPEECH] 683 00:50:49,921 --> 00:50:52,154 That's why she had to die. 684 00:50:54,992 --> 00:50:56,559 He wasn't all bad, though. 685 00:50:56,561 --> 00:50:58,193 He dealt with those bullies. 686 00:51:08,405 --> 00:51:10,171 Just going to call for help. 687 00:51:10,173 --> 00:51:13,008 There's no help. 688 00:51:13,010 --> 00:51:15,144 Dr. White got rid of them all. 689 00:51:32,797 --> 00:51:36,098 Oh, I'm sorry, we're out of time. 690 00:51:40,905 --> 00:51:43,438 Oh, that'll be our date. 691 00:51:43,440 --> 00:51:46,075 Let's put the awards out. 692 00:51:46,077 --> 00:51:47,677 You dirty old bugger. 693 00:51:53,751 --> 00:51:56,251 [DOOR CREAKING] 694 00:52:00,091 --> 00:52:05,661 [LAUGHTER] 695 00:52:05,663 --> 00:52:07,062 [CAT CALL] 696 00:52:07,064 --> 00:52:08,664 Fuck off. 697 00:52:08,666 --> 00:52:10,499 Right, darling. 698 00:52:10,501 --> 00:52:14,302 Want us to show you a good time this Christmas? 699 00:52:14,304 --> 00:52:17,338 [JINGLE BELLS] 700 00:52:17,340 --> 00:52:20,208 Mate, did you hear that? 701 00:52:20,210 --> 00:52:23,312 [JINGLE BELLS] 702 00:52:35,092 --> 00:52:35,991 Guys. 703 00:52:35,993 --> 00:52:38,961 [GASPING] 704 00:52:38,963 --> 00:52:42,398 [JINGLE BELLS] 705 00:53:02,119 --> 00:53:05,454 [SCREAMS] 706 00:53:23,507 --> 00:53:26,642 So why did the man want a divorce? 707 00:53:26,644 --> 00:53:28,811 Because his wife was a total flake. 708 00:53:28,813 --> 00:53:30,411 [LAUGHTER] 709 00:53:30,413 --> 00:53:31,245 Thank you. 710 00:53:31,247 --> 00:53:33,281 Thank you. 711 00:53:33,283 --> 00:53:35,451 Tough crowd, Dr. White. 712 00:53:42,425 --> 00:53:45,293 Eloy, where are you? 713 00:53:45,295 --> 00:53:49,098 I told you to lock up. 714 00:53:49,100 --> 00:53:52,635 Franza, I told you you didn't make the cut. 715 00:54:15,425 --> 00:54:19,260 I remember laying in bed as a kid waiting for Santa to come. 716 00:54:19,262 --> 00:54:21,764 Oh, yes, Dr. White. 717 00:54:21,766 --> 00:54:25,033 Yes, then there was always that awkward silence 718 00:54:25,035 --> 00:54:26,703 as he got dressed and left. 719 00:54:34,879 --> 00:54:39,047 They're still not laughing, Henry. 720 00:54:39,049 --> 00:54:41,116 That's because you knocked them dead, Dr. White. 721 00:54:41,118 --> 00:54:44,554 [MUSIC PLAYING] 722 00:54:55,431 --> 00:54:57,600 So what do you think. 723 00:55:01,371 --> 00:55:04,239 I have a great role for you. 724 00:55:04,241 --> 00:55:05,240 Can I use your bathroom? 725 00:55:05,242 --> 00:55:06,809 Sure. 726 00:55:06,811 --> 00:55:10,112 Me and Dr. White I'll be waiting for you. 727 00:55:10,114 --> 00:55:11,614 Can't wait to get your feedback. 728 00:55:29,700 --> 00:55:32,366 What's taking you so long? 729 00:55:32,368 --> 00:55:34,636 Dr. White is worried about you. 730 00:55:34,638 --> 00:55:36,105 I'll be out in a sec. 731 00:55:39,375 --> 00:55:41,276 We're going to make you a star. 732 00:55:41,278 --> 00:55:42,712 Stay away from me. 733 00:55:47,885 --> 00:55:51,353 This Christmas, everyone's got to love puppets again. 734 00:56:11,374 --> 00:56:13,509 We come with a search wa. 735 00:56:20,150 --> 00:56:21,684 I think I just killed a client. 736 00:56:23,988 --> 00:56:25,419 Bloody Christmas. 737 00:56:25,421 --> 00:56:28,123 [MUSIC PLAYING] 738 00:56:28,125 --> 00:56:35,798 Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo 739 00:56:36,233 --> 00:56:43,907 doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo 740 00:56:44,975 --> 00:56:50,612 doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo 741 00:56:50,614 --> 00:56:59,022 [NON-ENGLISH SPEECH] 742 00:57:01,191 --> 00:57:03,491 How would you like to make a snowman? 743 00:57:03,493 --> 00:57:06,828 Like Dr. White? 744 00:57:06,830 --> 00:57:08,897 No, I want to make a normal snowman. 745 00:57:08,899 --> 00:57:12,234 Aha, normal snowmen are boring. 746 00:57:12,236 --> 00:57:15,469 They just melt like humans and let you down. 747 00:57:15,471 --> 00:57:17,906 Humans don't melt. 748 00:57:17,908 --> 00:57:19,708 They do if you put them in a blast furnace, 749 00:57:19,710 --> 00:57:21,910 or pour acid on them. 750 00:57:21,912 --> 00:57:25,847 Why have you come especially for me, Santa? 751 00:57:25,849 --> 00:57:29,318 I've been told you've been feeling unwell, 752 00:57:29,320 --> 00:57:31,186 and your parents called me up from North Pole 753 00:57:31,188 --> 00:57:34,790 to cheer you up. 754 00:57:34,792 --> 00:57:38,093 Well, I'm... I'm feeling a lot better now. 755 00:57:38,095 --> 00:57:40,562 I wouldn't want to hold you up delivering presents. 756 00:57:40,564 --> 00:57:43,332 Oh, don't you worry about them. 757 00:57:43,334 --> 00:57:48,003 Most of the other kids have been naughty this year. 758 00:57:48,005 --> 00:57:51,573 I know a kid of your age who was visited by Krampus instead. 759 00:57:51,575 --> 00:57:53,709 Krampus? 760 00:57:53,711 --> 00:57:57,946 However bad you might feel this Christmas, 761 00:57:57,948 --> 00:58:02,884 it is nothing like being visited by Krampus. 762 00:58:02,886 --> 00:58:06,755 Now this is a little story me and my elves 763 00:58:06,757 --> 00:58:11,760 call Merry Krampus. 764 00:58:11,762 --> 00:58:19,502 And this, this is the last toy Luke ever played with. 765 00:58:23,140 --> 00:58:23,773 Come on, Luke. 766 00:58:23,775 --> 00:58:26,142 Time for bed. 767 00:58:26,144 --> 00:58:27,677 You know it's your last day of school before the Christmas 768 00:58:27,679 --> 00:58:28,911 holidays tomorrow. 769 00:58:28,913 --> 00:58:30,581 Come on. 770 00:58:36,021 --> 00:58:40,957 Will daddy you come and visit us this Christmas? 771 00:58:40,959 --> 00:58:43,193 Or will he stay with the new lady he likes? 772 00:58:47,098 --> 00:58:51,134 I guess I won't be getting into the robot toy this Christmas. 773 00:58:51,136 --> 00:58:52,769 I'm sure daddy's going to get you something really nice 774 00:58:52,771 --> 00:58:54,337 for Christmas. 775 00:58:54,339 --> 00:58:56,005 You know he loves you very much. 776 00:58:56,007 --> 00:58:57,674 And you? 777 00:59:02,781 --> 00:59:04,748 Like I said, he loves you very, very much. 778 00:59:07,118 --> 00:59:08,986 Sweet dreams, OK? 779 00:59:13,691 --> 00:59:17,127 [PHONE RINGING] 780 00:59:20,231 --> 00:59:22,365 Hey, where are you? 781 00:59:22,367 --> 00:59:24,267 Nowhere. 782 00:59:24,269 --> 00:59:25,601 Well, hurry up. 783 00:59:25,603 --> 00:59:27,603 I have a surprise waiting for you. 784 00:59:27,605 --> 00:59:28,704 I'm freezing my tits off. 785 00:59:28,706 --> 00:59:30,640 It's winter. 786 00:59:30,642 --> 00:59:32,209 Right bye. 787 00:59:44,823 --> 00:59:48,325 [MUSIC PLAYING] 788 00:59:56,734 --> 01:00:00,270 [SOBBING] 789 01:00:13,151 --> 01:00:16,085 So, Louise, how are you getting on? 790 01:00:16,087 --> 01:00:19,455 I know Christmas can be a particularly hard time of year. 791 01:00:19,457 --> 01:00:21,724 I'm OK. 792 01:00:21,726 --> 01:00:24,460 The antidepressants are really helping. 793 01:00:24,462 --> 01:00:27,497 And you're not leaning too much on the drink. 794 01:00:27,499 --> 01:00:30,767 Oh, God, no, that's just like a bit of Christmas cheer. 795 01:00:32,837 --> 01:00:34,203 And how are the kids? 796 01:00:34,205 --> 01:00:35,638 The kids are fine. 797 01:00:35,640 --> 01:00:38,341 The kids are really good. 798 01:00:38,343 --> 01:00:40,443 So last day of school today before the Christmas holidays. 799 01:00:40,445 --> 01:00:43,312 I think they're really excited. 800 01:00:43,314 --> 01:00:45,681 Anywhere from the dads? 801 01:00:45,683 --> 01:00:47,817 Nothing. 802 01:00:47,819 --> 01:00:50,853 Anything to get out of paying child support. 803 01:00:50,855 --> 01:00:53,856 Now two of them have walked out on me. 804 01:00:53,858 --> 01:00:56,492 OK, well, if you need anything, you and the kids 805 01:00:56,494 --> 01:00:57,894 just give me a call, OK? 806 01:00:57,896 --> 01:00:59,429 Thank you. 807 01:01:12,377 --> 01:01:15,278 You are all right, Luke? 808 01:01:15,280 --> 01:01:17,346 I'm fine. 809 01:01:17,348 --> 01:01:18,347 I'm not hungry. 810 01:01:18,349 --> 01:01:21,250 I'm going to go to bed. 811 01:01:21,252 --> 01:01:25,121 Mom, are you going to do anything? 812 01:01:25,123 --> 01:01:27,023 If he's not hungry, what am I supposed to do? 813 01:01:27,025 --> 01:01:28,324 Force feed him like he's on hunger strike? 814 01:01:28,326 --> 01:01:30,259 This isn't a prison. 815 01:01:30,261 --> 01:01:32,261 Prison food would be better though. 816 01:01:32,263 --> 01:01:35,064 This is all we can afford right now. 817 01:01:35,066 --> 01:01:36,732 Since you lost your job. 818 01:01:36,734 --> 01:01:39,570 Yes, Diana, since I lost my job. 819 01:01:39,572 --> 01:01:41,470 Well, I can't wait to find out what Christmas dinner 820 01:01:41,472 --> 01:01:42,972 is going to be like tomorrow. 821 01:01:42,974 --> 01:01:45,775 Some kids were picking on Luke, 822 01:01:45,777 --> 01:01:47,944 and they said that it was his fault that dad left like ours. 823 01:01:47,946 --> 01:01:50,179 But that's ridiculous. 824 01:01:50,181 --> 01:01:51,648 They also said that Krampus is going to come 825 01:01:51,650 --> 01:01:53,883 visit us this Christmas. 826 01:01:53,885 --> 01:01:55,718 Krampus... you've got to stop listening 827 01:01:55,720 --> 01:01:58,921 to this stupid rubbish, OK? 828 01:01:58,923 --> 01:02:00,490 This house is too depressing for Krampus. 829 01:02:27,218 --> 01:02:28,884 Did any of the neighbors see you creep over the fence? 830 01:02:28,886 --> 01:02:31,420 No, I don't think so. 831 01:02:31,422 --> 01:02:32,522 Did he really live here? 832 01:02:32,524 --> 01:02:34,023 Yeah. 833 01:02:34,025 --> 01:02:35,491 Did the old man who lived here really 834 01:02:35,493 --> 01:02:36,959 tell people he was Krampus? 835 01:02:36,961 --> 01:02:38,729 Yeah, he was like that guy Wayne Gacy 836 01:02:38,731 --> 01:02:40,463 that dressed up as a clown. 837 01:02:40,465 --> 01:02:41,964 Why would any parent want to invite the Krampus 838 01:02:41,966 --> 01:02:43,600 to their kid's party? 839 01:02:43,602 --> 01:02:45,234 To scare them if they've been naughty maybe. 840 01:02:45,236 --> 01:02:46,302 Beats Cole. 841 01:02:46,304 --> 01:02:48,705 When did he die? 842 01:02:48,707 --> 01:02:50,373 They found him hanging dead upstairs from a Christmas tree 843 01:02:50,375 --> 01:02:52,208 last year. 844 01:02:52,210 --> 01:02:54,277 I haven't been able to sell her since. 845 01:02:54,279 --> 01:02:55,978 Apparently, you had a book on pagan magic 846 01:02:55,980 --> 01:02:57,515 and was trying to raise the real Krampus. 847 01:03:01,720 --> 01:03:04,888 [SCREAMS] 848 01:03:05,790 --> 01:03:07,056 That was so funny, Lily. 849 01:03:07,058 --> 01:03:10,359 You guys suck. 850 01:03:10,361 --> 01:03:11,927 I'm going to call my parents on you. 851 01:03:11,929 --> 01:03:13,229 It was only a joke, Lily. 852 01:03:13,231 --> 01:03:15,197 Maybe we were a bit mean, guys. 853 01:03:15,199 --> 01:03:16,633 You're such a sissy, Benjie. 854 01:03:16,635 --> 01:03:18,168 It's hilarious. 855 01:03:22,874 --> 01:03:24,509 Stupid boys. 856 01:03:29,113 --> 01:03:33,550 Really how stupid do you think I am? 857 01:03:33,552 --> 01:03:35,252 Look what I found in one of the drawers. 858 01:03:38,456 --> 01:03:41,857 Maybe that's the poem he used to raise Krampus. 859 01:03:41,859 --> 01:03:43,292 Children, take this into account. 860 01:03:43,294 --> 01:03:45,261 Have you been bad this year? 861 01:03:45,263 --> 01:03:46,763 Tonight's the night that Krampus comes. 862 01:03:46,765 --> 01:03:48,431 Have you something to fear? 863 01:03:48,433 --> 01:03:49,865 If you're a good child, you'll sleep 864 01:03:49,867 --> 01:03:52,168 well for he will pass you by. 865 01:03:52,170 --> 01:03:54,136 But if you are a naughty child, he'll hang you out to dry. 866 01:03:54,138 --> 01:03:55,539 I think we should get out of here. 867 01:03:55,541 --> 01:03:56,773 I think he's right, Craig. 868 01:03:56,775 --> 01:03:58,274 It's just starting to get fun. 869 01:03:58,276 --> 01:04:01,344 You two are such girls like Lily. 870 01:04:01,346 --> 01:04:04,380 Then there comes a type of death that Krampus offers too. 871 01:04:04,382 --> 01:04:07,350 Perhaps a strangulation or a drowning would suit you. 872 01:04:07,352 --> 01:04:10,353 Alternatively, Krampus can just take you straight to hell, 873 01:04:10,355 --> 01:04:12,623 and nothing will be left of you, and nothing left to tell. 874 01:04:15,393 --> 01:04:17,027 What? 875 01:04:20,599 --> 01:04:24,200 [SCREAMS] 876 01:04:24,202 --> 01:04:27,470 What are you doing, Luke? 877 01:04:27,472 --> 01:04:29,673 Watching this video about Krampus online. 878 01:04:29,675 --> 01:04:32,274 Did you know he drowns and eats children 879 01:04:32,276 --> 01:04:34,845 after taking them to hell in a basket on his back? 880 01:04:34,847 --> 01:04:35,846 And don't watch that. 881 01:04:35,848 --> 01:04:37,179 Come on, go to bed. 882 01:04:37,181 --> 01:04:38,648 We've been good this year. 883 01:04:38,650 --> 01:04:41,016 Santa is coming, not Krampus. 884 01:04:41,018 --> 01:04:42,587 Then why did dad leave? 885 01:04:52,964 --> 01:04:54,664 When are you going to give it up. 886 01:04:54,666 --> 01:04:57,701 I'm really not falling for it this time. 887 01:04:57,703 --> 01:05:02,905 [SCREAMS] 888 01:05:02,907 --> 01:05:04,240 Come on, Jonathan. 889 01:05:04,242 --> 01:05:07,009 Come back to bed. 890 01:05:07,011 --> 01:05:09,746 It's Christmas Eve. 891 01:05:09,748 --> 01:05:11,148 I want cheering up. 892 01:05:14,653 --> 01:05:18,053 This doesn't feel right. 893 01:05:18,055 --> 01:05:20,824 I should be with my kids. 894 01:05:20,826 --> 01:05:23,527 Only one of them yours. 895 01:05:23,529 --> 01:05:27,963 Odell get over it is just one Christmas. 896 01:05:27,965 --> 01:05:29,866 Things will get better next year when she gets pregnant with yet 897 01:05:29,868 --> 01:05:31,100 another bloke. 898 01:05:31,102 --> 01:05:33,537 I need some air. 899 01:05:33,539 --> 01:05:36,272 Don't take too long. 900 01:05:36,274 --> 01:05:38,108 You're really starting to bring this Christmas down. 901 01:05:48,052 --> 01:05:50,986 No, daddy. 902 01:05:50,988 --> 01:05:56,192 Daddy, daddy not tonight. 903 01:05:56,194 --> 01:05:57,728 It's Christmas. 904 01:06:04,870 --> 01:06:06,537 No. 905 01:06:14,880 --> 01:06:16,514 Oh, God's sake. 906 01:06:19,484 --> 01:06:21,150 Oh, hi, Denise. 907 01:06:21,152 --> 01:06:25,187 It's Louise. 908 01:06:25,189 --> 01:06:29,593 I don't know if you could possibly pop by. 909 01:06:29,595 --> 01:06:32,562 I'm just not really feeling myself. 910 01:06:32,564 --> 01:06:35,364 I don't know if it's the medication or 911 01:06:35,366 --> 01:06:36,867 I've just been having some weird dreams 912 01:06:36,869 --> 01:06:40,704 and the kids have been saying some weird stuff, 913 01:06:40,706 --> 01:06:44,875 but yeah, give me a call back or maybe pop by. 914 01:06:44,877 --> 01:06:45,942 Thanks. 915 01:06:45,944 --> 01:06:47,612 Bye. 916 01:07:09,100 --> 01:07:10,635 Hey, Louise. 917 01:07:12,871 --> 01:07:14,303 I know that I'm the last person that you 918 01:07:14,305 --> 01:07:15,740 want to hear from right now. 919 01:07:18,744 --> 01:07:21,912 I really want to come round tomorrow and see the kids. 920 01:07:21,914 --> 01:07:24,281 You have to understand that this is killing me too. 921 01:07:28,352 --> 01:07:30,220 Don't think there's any more guilt after this. 922 01:07:34,026 --> 01:07:36,726 Please, just pick up. 923 01:07:36,728 --> 01:07:38,395 Louise. 924 01:07:40,566 --> 01:07:42,232 Louise. 925 01:07:46,437 --> 01:07:48,104 Louise. 926 01:08:00,451 --> 01:08:02,484 Fuck it. 927 01:08:02,486 --> 01:08:04,120 Come around whether you like it or not. 928 01:08:10,361 --> 01:08:12,329 I'll get more like a fucking Krampus tonight. 929 01:08:18,870 --> 01:08:21,403 Oh, what's this? 930 01:08:21,405 --> 01:08:24,473 A naughty little note, Jonathan. 931 01:08:24,475 --> 01:08:26,276 I hope it's not dirty. 932 01:09:35,781 --> 01:09:37,446 You're frighten the other children. 933 01:09:37,448 --> 01:09:39,783 Mom, I heard noises. 934 01:09:39,785 --> 01:09:41,217 Are the rats back? 935 01:09:43,889 --> 01:09:46,823 Are the rats back? 936 01:09:46,825 --> 01:09:49,760 I've never been so insulted in my life. 937 01:10:02,107 --> 01:10:06,376 Andrew, is that you playing with my robot toy? 938 01:10:36,174 --> 01:10:38,241 You made him leave. 939 01:10:40,377 --> 01:10:43,246 You ruined Christmas. 940 01:10:50,287 --> 01:10:53,923 Krampus is here, Luke. 941 01:10:53,925 --> 01:10:55,726 It's time to play. 942 01:11:02,466 --> 01:11:10,173 [LAUGHTER] 943 01:11:10,175 --> 01:11:11,273 Louise, it's Denise. 944 01:11:11,275 --> 01:11:13,910 Your door was open. 945 01:11:13,912 --> 01:11:15,311 I got your message. 946 01:11:18,083 --> 01:11:22,952 Louise, what have you done? 947 01:11:22,954 --> 01:11:24,554 He says their father he's gone insane. 948 01:11:24,556 --> 01:11:27,456 He's killed the kids. 949 01:11:27,458 --> 01:11:32,028 He's telling the house, you need to get help. 950 01:11:32,030 --> 01:11:33,163 Oh, God. 951 01:11:33,165 --> 01:11:34,496 OK, OK, don't... 952 01:11:34,498 --> 01:11:35,732 Don't worry. 953 01:11:35,734 --> 01:11:37,400 Oh, God. 954 01:11:39,971 --> 01:11:41,639 Oh, God. 955 01:12:12,070 --> 01:12:13,870 You know what, I'm leaving. 956 01:12:13,872 --> 01:12:15,271 There's something not quite right with you. 957 01:12:15,273 --> 01:12:16,639 You need... you need help. 958 01:12:16,641 --> 01:12:18,542 You're not taking them away from me. 959 01:12:21,813 --> 01:12:26,649 Krampus days are here again, your kids will die, 960 01:12:26,651 --> 01:12:29,285 and the sky falling. 961 01:12:29,287 --> 01:12:30,653 Diana, Andrew. 962 01:12:30,655 --> 01:12:31,754 What have you done to them? 963 01:12:31,756 --> 01:12:33,756 They're just sleeping. 964 01:12:33,758 --> 01:12:35,325 I gave them some Rohypnol. 965 01:12:35,327 --> 01:12:36,759 You've drugged our children. 966 01:12:36,761 --> 01:12:37,861 What's the matter with you? 967 01:12:37,863 --> 01:12:39,295 I'm down. 968 01:12:39,297 --> 01:12:41,397 Just because you got daddy-son's issues doesn't... 969 01:12:52,110 --> 01:12:56,045 He'll make you all disappear, just like the others. 970 01:12:56,047 --> 01:13:04,622 [SCREAMS] 971 01:13:12,764 --> 01:13:17,834 Well, there goes another one. 972 01:13:17,836 --> 01:13:20,169 You know, none of your relationships 973 01:13:20,171 --> 01:13:21,871 are going to work out if you insist 974 01:13:21,873 --> 01:13:25,642 on stabbing them all to death. 975 01:13:25,644 --> 01:13:28,244 I think he was right. 976 01:13:28,246 --> 01:13:30,713 Maybe you should have accepted that invitation 977 01:13:30,715 --> 01:13:34,617 for relationship guidance counseling. 978 01:13:34,619 --> 01:13:37,887 Oh, daddy's going to go and lie down. 979 01:13:37,889 --> 01:13:39,924 I can feel a cramp coming up. 980 01:14:01,846 --> 01:14:05,581 Look at our little darlings. 981 01:14:05,583 --> 01:14:09,619 Peaceful and ready for Christmas Day. 982 01:14:09,621 --> 01:14:13,123 [LAUGHTER] 983 01:14:14,859 --> 01:14:17,727 I'm going back to hell now. 984 01:14:17,729 --> 01:14:22,265 I'll see you next Christmas. 985 01:14:22,267 --> 01:14:30,207 (SINGING) Silent night, Holy night, all is calm, 986 01:14:35,280 --> 01:14:43,253 all is bright, sleep in heavenly peace. 987 01:14:49,661 --> 01:14:52,829 I dare, more sick and senseless 988 01:14:52,831 --> 01:14:56,265 this year than ever before. 989 01:14:56,267 --> 01:14:57,768 Cramping my style. 990 01:15:01,539 --> 01:15:05,042 I love it when the pretty ones die so horribly, don't you? 991 01:15:15,287 --> 01:15:16,420 It wasn't me. 992 01:15:16,422 --> 01:15:18,288 Krampus did it. 993 01:15:18,290 --> 01:15:19,824 That's what they all say, love. 994 01:15:22,762 --> 01:15:25,562 So have we got anything come through on it yet? 995 01:15:25,564 --> 01:15:27,831 Yes, inspector. 996 01:15:27,833 --> 01:15:31,068 She was abused by her father, she was being monitored 997 01:15:31,070 --> 01:15:33,137 after her other half left because she 998 01:15:33,139 --> 01:15:35,105 was having a nervous breakdown, and you never guess what... 999 01:15:35,107 --> 01:15:37,041 What? 1000 01:15:37,043 --> 01:15:39,511 The father was only a bloody sicko Santa person hater. 1001 01:15:39,513 --> 01:15:42,514 Oh, great. 1002 01:15:42,516 --> 01:15:47,117 I can see this is going to be one of those Christmases. 1003 01:15:47,119 --> 01:15:50,554 Right, I'll leave you to clear the mess up here, 1004 01:15:50,556 --> 01:15:54,324 so at least I can try and get back to my own kids, that's 1005 01:15:54,326 --> 01:15:55,993 assuming the missus hasn't already cut them up 1006 01:15:55,995 --> 01:15:57,295 and put them in the oven. 1007 01:16:03,803 --> 01:16:05,969 Oh, Denise, what are you doing here? 1008 01:16:05,971 --> 01:16:07,404 She's only going to get herself bloody murdered, 1009 01:16:07,406 --> 01:16:08,138 isn't she? 1010 01:16:08,140 --> 01:16:09,406 You are? 1011 01:16:09,408 --> 01:16:10,774 Sliced up like bacon. 1012 01:16:10,776 --> 01:16:12,510 But I like Denise. 1013 01:16:12,512 --> 01:16:14,311 I like bacon. 1014 01:16:14,313 --> 01:16:16,080 I like bacon. 1015 01:16:16,082 --> 01:16:17,948 Check up with a frying pan on. 1016 01:16:17,950 --> 01:16:18,849 Why not? 1017 01:16:18,851 --> 01:16:19,716 Red or brown sauce? 1018 01:16:19,718 --> 01:16:20,552 Brown. 1019 01:16:20,554 --> 01:16:22,220 Perfect. 1020 01:16:28,994 --> 01:16:31,795 So it wasn't Krampus, it was the mom. 1021 01:16:31,797 --> 01:16:37,434 Yeah, she was North Polar. 1022 01:16:37,436 --> 01:16:39,069 There are freaks out there who actually think they're Santa, 1023 01:16:39,071 --> 01:16:41,438 you know. 1024 01:16:41,440 --> 01:16:44,576 I know, shocking, isn't it? 1025 01:16:44,578 --> 01:16:46,877 If Krampus doesn't get you, your mother probably will. 1026 01:16:46,879 --> 01:16:49,813 God only knows what's worse. 1027 01:16:49,815 --> 01:16:53,083 What happened to the mom? 1028 01:16:53,085 --> 01:16:55,920 She joined those other three in the nutters wing. 1029 01:17:00,993 --> 01:17:02,626 Do you like Christmas carols, Peter? 1030 01:17:02,628 --> 01:17:05,530 I don't know that many. 1031 01:17:05,532 --> 01:17:07,898 Just as well. 1032 01:17:07,900 --> 01:17:10,767 Most of them are quite boring. 1033 01:17:10,769 --> 01:17:14,506 I know a few that are rather good. 1034 01:17:14,508 --> 01:17:22,212 I know one choir who had a very haunting song. 1035 01:17:22,214 --> 01:17:29,854 This here's a story I like to call The 12 Kills of Christmas. 1036 01:17:30,524 --> 01:17:31,688 Don't you mean 12 1037 01:17:31,690 --> 01:17:34,057 12 Days of Christmas? 1038 01:17:34,059 --> 01:17:35,727 Oh, no. 1039 01:17:40,666 --> 01:17:45,170 Singers that came to this house never sang that song. 1040 01:17:51,377 --> 01:17:54,077 To be the guardian of your incarnate son, 1041 01:17:54,079 --> 01:17:58,516 and husband of the Blessed Virgin Mary. 1042 01:17:58,518 --> 01:18:02,319 Give us grace to follow him. 1043 01:18:02,321 --> 01:18:03,621 Nearly ready for midnight mass, father. 1044 01:18:03,623 --> 01:18:04,721 Why? 1045 01:18:04,723 --> 01:18:05,956 Don't I sound very good? 1046 01:18:05,958 --> 01:18:08,091 Oh, no, no, you sound great. 1047 01:18:08,093 --> 01:18:09,727 Anyone would think you were a priest. 1048 01:18:11,964 --> 01:18:13,497 Thank you, Cathy. 1049 01:18:13,499 --> 01:18:15,166 I'm just going to clear out the office. 1050 01:18:17,903 --> 01:18:19,404 And faithful. 1051 01:18:24,644 --> 01:18:27,844 Can I help you young man? 1052 01:18:27,846 --> 01:18:31,415 I'm just looking around. 1053 01:18:31,417 --> 01:18:33,951 Does Father McShane still work here? 1054 01:18:33,953 --> 01:18:38,188 No, he had to retire suddenly due to his health. 1055 01:18:38,190 --> 01:18:41,091 Is he still practicing the faith? 1056 01:18:41,093 --> 01:18:44,696 It's a complicated matter. 1057 01:18:44,698 --> 01:18:46,631 You know it's good practice when in the Lord's house 1058 01:18:46,633 --> 01:18:49,199 to take your hood down. 1059 01:18:49,201 --> 01:18:51,802 Sorry. 1060 01:18:51,804 --> 01:18:53,870 It's been a long time since I was here. 1061 01:18:53,872 --> 01:18:56,541 We're in a church. 1062 01:18:56,543 --> 01:18:58,208 You used to come here? 1063 01:18:58,210 --> 01:19:00,777 When I was younger, I used to be in the choir. 1064 01:19:00,779 --> 01:19:03,380 Oh, I see. 1065 01:19:03,382 --> 01:19:05,850 I heard Father McShane's choirs were the best for miles around. 1066 01:19:07,987 --> 01:19:09,487 I was friends with Dylan Gray. 1067 01:19:17,796 --> 01:19:21,465 Well, how can I help, uh... 1068 01:19:21,467 --> 01:19:22,567 Leo. 1069 01:19:22,569 --> 01:19:24,569 Leo Edwards. 1070 01:19:24,571 --> 01:19:26,403 How can I help, Leo? 1071 01:19:26,405 --> 01:19:29,306 Well, I was hoping I could talk to Father McShane. 1072 01:19:29,308 --> 01:19:32,242 I'm sorry, he's suffering from dementia. 1073 01:19:32,244 --> 01:19:35,279 He wouldn't even remember you. 1074 01:19:35,281 --> 01:19:36,814 That's a shame. 1075 01:19:40,720 --> 01:19:42,886 Is there anything I can help with? 1076 01:19:42,888 --> 01:19:45,789 No, not really. 1077 01:19:45,791 --> 01:19:47,559 Nothing you or God can do for me. 1078 01:20:05,311 --> 01:20:09,380 Cathy did you leave this box here? 1079 01:20:11,850 --> 01:20:13,817 No. 1080 01:20:13,819 --> 01:20:16,621 Might be one of the lads from this morning left it here. 1081 01:20:16,623 --> 01:20:19,056 Hang on. 1082 01:20:19,058 --> 01:20:22,326 I know that box. 1083 01:20:22,328 --> 01:20:24,094 This used to belong to Father McShane where did you find it? 1084 01:20:24,096 --> 01:20:26,930 It was just left there. 1085 01:20:26,932 --> 01:20:29,232 Oh. 1086 01:20:29,234 --> 01:20:31,335 Do you know anything about Dylan Gray. 1087 01:20:31,337 --> 01:20:33,738 Dylan Gray, yes. 1088 01:20:33,740 --> 01:20:37,174 He was in terrible trouble that boy with drugs and stealing. 1089 01:20:37,176 --> 01:20:39,309 Father McShane tried to help him, 1090 01:20:39,311 --> 01:20:44,381 but he was honored by the devil that boy, yeah. 1091 01:20:44,383 --> 01:20:49,086 Between you and me, I think he ran away and killed himself. 1092 01:20:49,088 --> 01:20:51,221 Yeah, it broke Father McShane's heart. 1093 01:20:51,223 --> 01:20:54,424 He really messed him up. 1094 01:20:54,426 --> 01:20:57,295 Anyway, I best go replace all the short candlesticks. 1095 01:21:10,844 --> 01:21:12,075 Hello, Maria McShane. 1096 01:21:12,077 --> 01:21:13,377 Hi, Maria. 1097 01:21:13,379 --> 01:21:16,247 It's Father Abel How's your father? 1098 01:21:18,150 --> 01:21:19,917 Yeah, he's OK. 1099 01:21:25,224 --> 01:21:26,890 It's largely the same, but I think 1100 01:21:26,892 --> 01:21:30,728 it's going to take a Christmas miracle for any change. 1101 01:21:30,730 --> 01:21:32,830 I haven't seen you coming around to church much of late. 1102 01:21:32,832 --> 01:21:34,532 I know. 1103 01:21:34,534 --> 01:21:37,702 It's just what... with everything and father. 1104 01:21:37,704 --> 01:21:40,404 Oh, no I understand. 1105 01:21:40,406 --> 01:21:42,774 If you ever need anyone to talk to... 1106 01:21:42,776 --> 01:21:44,107 Thank you. 1107 01:21:44,109 --> 01:21:47,244 That's very kind of but I think I've 1108 01:21:47,246 --> 01:21:50,147 lost my faith a little bit. 1109 01:21:50,149 --> 01:21:54,085 Well, if you can't talk to God, please talk to me. 1110 01:21:57,322 --> 01:22:00,290 Look, I've rung up because I found this old music box I was 1111 01:22:00,292 --> 01:22:03,059 told belonged to your father. 1112 01:22:03,061 --> 01:22:04,796 Music box. 1113 01:22:04,798 --> 01:22:07,031 Yes, so I wondered if you might like it back. 1114 01:22:15,107 --> 01:22:16,206 It's got a tune. 1115 01:22:16,208 --> 01:22:18,209 All things bright and beautiful. 1116 01:22:20,112 --> 01:22:22,479 No, that's fine. 1117 01:22:22,481 --> 01:22:23,915 Please just get rid of it or give it 1118 01:22:23,917 --> 01:22:25,717 to a charity shop or something. 1119 01:22:47,707 --> 01:22:50,641 Here we are farther. 1120 01:22:50,643 --> 01:22:52,777 Back here another year. 1121 01:22:52,779 --> 01:22:54,010 Why did she do? 1122 01:22:54,012 --> 01:22:55,345 Why did she leave? 1123 01:22:55,347 --> 01:22:57,214 Because the devil got into her. 1124 01:22:57,216 --> 01:22:59,349 It wasn't her fault. The devil makes 1125 01:22:59,351 --> 01:23:01,586 us all do bad things at times. 1126 01:23:01,588 --> 01:23:03,554 Did the devil get her from that box? 1127 01:23:03,556 --> 01:23:06,022 Yes, he did, and that's why you must never tell anyone 1128 01:23:06,024 --> 01:23:08,926 about it or open it because if the devil's friends get to find 1129 01:23:08,928 --> 01:23:11,428 out about the box, they'll release 1130 01:23:11,430 --> 01:23:13,965 the devil for you and for me and for everyone, 1131 01:23:13,967 --> 01:23:16,366 and then we'll all disappear. 1132 01:23:16,368 --> 01:23:17,969 Like that boy he was never there that night, Murray. 1133 01:23:17,971 --> 01:23:19,202 What'd I tell you. 1134 01:23:19,204 --> 01:23:21,037 He was a ghost. 1135 01:23:21,039 --> 01:23:23,340 And all must find out the church is haunted otherwise, 1136 01:23:23,342 --> 01:23:24,942 everyone would be too afraid to come here, 1137 01:23:24,944 --> 01:23:27,277 and that will make God sad. 1138 01:23:27,279 --> 01:23:29,447 That's right, my darling. 1139 01:23:32,719 --> 01:23:34,685 The church's ghost must always stay out 1140 01:23:34,687 --> 01:23:39,122 of sight, like the bodies in these graves. 1141 01:23:39,124 --> 01:23:42,628 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1142 01:24:23,503 --> 01:24:25,268 Come on. 1143 01:24:25,270 --> 01:24:26,838 That's it. 1144 01:24:31,778 --> 01:24:33,277 Try and relax. 1145 01:24:36,049 --> 01:24:37,414 I'll see you in the morning. 1146 01:24:37,416 --> 01:24:39,150 Won't you stop saying it? 1147 01:24:51,798 --> 01:24:54,331 I visited Mother's grave today with Father. 1148 01:24:54,333 --> 01:24:55,533 It must have been freezing up there. 1149 01:24:55,535 --> 01:24:57,201 It was. 1150 01:24:59,806 --> 01:25:02,238 Not as cold as the year my mother passed away there. 1151 01:25:02,240 --> 01:25:03,875 My last white Christmas. 1152 01:25:08,014 --> 01:25:09,548 Are you OK? 1153 01:25:11,116 --> 01:25:12,751 Yeah. 1154 01:25:16,055 --> 01:25:17,589 You don't look OK. 1155 01:25:21,027 --> 01:25:24,461 Maria, what's up. 1156 01:25:24,463 --> 01:25:26,162 Nothing. 1157 01:25:26,164 --> 01:25:27,733 Come here. 1158 01:25:34,641 --> 01:25:36,541 It's nearly our two-year anniversary. 1159 01:25:42,982 --> 01:25:44,314 I'm just not sure about leaving 1160 01:25:44,316 --> 01:25:46,550 father here for Christmas Eve. 1161 01:25:46,552 --> 01:25:50,921 Maria, you do too much for him. 1162 01:25:50,923 --> 01:25:55,893 The nurse can look after him tomorrow for one night. 1163 01:25:55,895 --> 01:25:59,897 Besides, he probably doesn't even know who you are anymore. 1164 01:25:59,899 --> 01:26:00,965 I'm sorry. 1165 01:26:00,967 --> 01:26:02,365 Sorry about that. 1166 01:26:02,367 --> 01:26:05,335 That was harsh. 1167 01:26:05,337 --> 01:26:08,472 No, it's OK. 1168 01:26:11,443 --> 01:26:14,845 Sorry, it's just been a really weird day. 1169 01:26:14,847 --> 01:26:16,479 I've had a lot of news. 1170 01:26:16,481 --> 01:26:17,949 Anything I should know about? 1171 01:26:26,526 --> 01:26:28,192 Really? 1172 01:26:31,296 --> 01:26:33,898 Oh, my God. 1173 01:26:33,900 --> 01:26:35,433 That's amazing. 1174 01:26:37,937 --> 01:26:40,971 Well, what is it? 1175 01:26:40,973 --> 01:26:43,206 Babe, you're not happy about it. 1176 01:26:43,208 --> 01:26:45,341 No, I am. 1177 01:26:45,343 --> 01:26:46,811 I am. 1178 01:26:46,813 --> 01:26:50,014 It's just we're having our own child, 1179 01:26:50,016 --> 01:26:52,917 I think I have to tell you something. 1180 01:26:52,919 --> 01:26:55,351 What? 1181 01:26:55,353 --> 01:26:58,221 Yeah, you can tell me anything. 1182 01:26:58,223 --> 01:27:03,127 Well, before my mother killed herself that Christmas, 1183 01:27:03,129 --> 01:27:06,163 I heard her and father fighting. 1184 01:27:06,165 --> 01:27:09,900 Apparently, she found something in a music box he had. 1185 01:27:09,902 --> 01:27:11,702 A music box? 1186 01:27:11,704 --> 01:27:14,304 Yeah. 1187 01:27:14,306 --> 01:27:16,140 I don't know what it was. 1188 01:27:16,142 --> 01:27:21,746 All I know is... is that he had a fight with a student. 1189 01:27:21,748 --> 01:27:23,547 Do you think anyone's going to believe you over me, 1190 01:27:23,549 --> 01:27:25,415 a man of God over some drugged up 1191 01:27:25,417 --> 01:27:27,350 little junkie from the streets? 1192 01:27:27,352 --> 01:27:30,955 His name was Dylan. 1193 01:27:30,957 --> 01:27:32,857 Dad said that he came back a drug addict 1194 01:27:32,859 --> 01:27:34,925 and tried to blackmail him, but... 1195 01:27:34,927 --> 01:27:36,426 You think he might have been involved with his students? 1196 01:27:36,428 --> 01:27:39,930 I don't know. 1197 01:27:39,932 --> 01:27:42,233 I mean, it's... it's a terrible thing to think about, 1198 01:27:42,235 --> 01:27:47,238 but this rumor is from his old church saying that he was 1199 01:27:47,240 --> 01:27:49,405 charged with something, but charges were 1200 01:27:49,407 --> 01:27:52,042 dropped because he's senile. 1201 01:27:52,044 --> 01:27:53,678 Jesus Christ. 1202 01:27:57,650 --> 01:27:59,383 But it's just a rumor. 1203 01:28:01,921 --> 01:28:05,056 Your dad wouldn't do that, right? 1204 01:28:13,566 --> 01:28:18,269 (VOICEOVER) All things bright and beautiful, 1205 01:28:18,271 --> 01:28:25,075 all creatures great and small, all things wise and wonderful 1206 01:28:25,077 --> 01:28:31,282 [CRYING] 1207 01:28:31,284 --> 01:28:32,315 I'll go. 1208 01:28:32,317 --> 01:28:33,217 No, Maria... 1209 01:28:33,219 --> 01:28:35,986 No, you stay. 1210 01:28:35,988 --> 01:28:39,690 Maria, wait. 1211 01:28:39,692 --> 01:28:42,193 I think it's time you start getting some extra help for him 1212 01:28:42,195 --> 01:28:45,296 after Christmas. 1213 01:28:45,298 --> 01:28:46,865 Seriously. 1214 01:28:52,505 --> 01:28:54,238 Oh, come on, father. 1215 01:28:54,240 --> 01:28:56,140 What are you doing down there. 1216 01:28:56,142 --> 01:28:58,309 You know you can't walk. 1217 01:28:58,311 --> 01:29:01,512 They come for me in the dark. 1218 01:29:01,514 --> 01:29:04,048 They plead with Jesus. 1219 01:29:04,050 --> 01:29:07,483 Nobody's here. 1220 01:29:07,485 --> 01:29:12,355 It was just a nightmare, OK? 1221 01:29:12,357 --> 01:29:17,028 May God mercy on our souls. 1222 01:29:29,342 --> 01:29:33,677 Maria, now what have I told you about playing in the basement. 1223 01:29:33,679 --> 01:29:34,812 Not to come down here as it's full of ghosts. 1224 01:29:34,814 --> 01:29:37,014 Exactly. 1225 01:29:37,016 --> 01:29:39,049 Wouldn't the ghosts be in the graveyard? 1226 01:29:39,051 --> 01:29:42,119 Not all souls are asleep out there. 1227 01:29:42,121 --> 01:29:43,954 - What's that? - It's Saint Christopher. 1228 01:29:43,956 --> 01:29:45,089 I think it belonged to that Dillon boy. 1229 01:29:45,091 --> 01:29:46,422 Give it to me. 1230 01:29:46,424 --> 01:29:49,026 I'll pass it on to the police. 1231 01:29:49,028 --> 01:29:50,594 Now go on upstairs and carry on cleaning up the silver. 1232 01:29:50,596 --> 01:29:52,097 Sorry, Father. 1233 01:30:06,879 --> 01:30:08,679 Kurt, what are you doing? 1234 01:30:08,681 --> 01:30:11,215 Look what I found. 1235 01:30:11,217 --> 01:30:15,152 Come on, it's the best time of the year. 1236 01:30:15,154 --> 01:30:21,225 And you and me can have a little baby. 1237 01:30:21,227 --> 01:30:23,995 What could spoil this Christmas? 1238 01:31:46,279 --> 01:31:49,648 [GASPING] 1239 01:32:09,970 --> 01:32:13,671 I'm just off now, Father. 1240 01:32:13,673 --> 01:32:21,647 OK Kathy I'll see you tomorrow Cathy. 1241 01:32:42,702 --> 01:32:45,538 Hello. 1242 01:32:45,540 --> 01:32:48,706 Who's there? 1243 01:32:48,708 --> 01:32:50,076 I'll call the police. 1244 01:32:57,384 --> 01:32:58,751 Who the fuck are you? 1245 01:33:00,587 --> 01:33:09,161 [GROANING] 1246 01:33:17,838 --> 01:33:19,304 So he's been fed. 1247 01:33:19,306 --> 01:33:20,638 He just needs to be helped to bed at night. 1248 01:33:20,640 --> 01:33:22,040 OK, no worries... 1249 01:33:22,042 --> 01:33:24,776 Don't let them stop singing. 1250 01:33:24,778 --> 01:33:26,111 Just ignore that, it's the only thing he 1251 01:33:26,113 --> 01:33:28,646 says since he's had the stroke. 1252 01:33:28,648 --> 01:33:30,381 Of course. 1253 01:33:30,383 --> 01:33:33,184 Now you guys have a lovely Christmas Eve. 1254 01:33:33,186 --> 01:33:35,186 We're going to have a great time, aren't you Mr McShane? 1255 01:33:35,188 --> 01:33:36,688 - Come on we're going to be late. - OK. 1256 01:33:36,690 --> 01:33:37,655 - Thank you. - Bye. 1257 01:33:37,657 --> 01:33:39,191 Thank you. Bye. 1258 01:33:51,338 --> 01:33:53,872 Now you're going to be a good boy, aren't you, Mr. McShane? 1259 01:33:53,874 --> 01:33:55,206 I don't want no shitting on Christmas Eve, 1260 01:33:55,208 --> 01:33:56,274 do you understand? 1261 01:33:56,276 --> 01:33:57,308 Don't let them don't stop singing. 1262 01:33:57,310 --> 01:33:58,409 Yeah, yeah. 1263 01:33:58,411 --> 01:34:00,478 That's all you say I know. 1264 01:34:00,480 --> 01:34:02,380 The choir's grown up now, they're all gone. 1265 01:34:02,382 --> 01:34:04,449 [KNOCKING] 1266 01:34:04,451 --> 01:34:05,584 Go... away. 1267 01:34:05,586 --> 01:34:07,553 (SINGING) Jingle bell, jingle 1268 01:34:07,555 --> 01:34:09,487 I said go away. 1269 01:34:09,489 --> 01:34:13,158 What part of I don't like Christmas don't you understand? 1270 01:34:13,160 --> 01:34:14,693 That did it. 1271 01:34:17,898 --> 01:34:20,131 Hey, They've gone. 1272 01:34:20,133 --> 01:34:22,167 Mike can you hurry up and get here. 1273 01:34:22,169 --> 01:34:24,270 I don't want to spend Christmas alone with this creepy old guy. 1274 01:35:09,783 --> 01:35:11,750 Are you in this? 1275 01:35:19,226 --> 01:35:20,458 If they finally come back and check on him? 1276 01:35:20,460 --> 01:35:22,160 They won't. 1277 01:35:22,162 --> 01:35:24,495 Look, the daughters probably asked 1278 01:35:24,497 --> 01:35:27,899 Santa to kill him off just so she can inherit the house. 1279 01:35:27,901 --> 01:35:29,801 I just... I can't do this with Father Teddy. 1280 01:35:29,803 --> 01:35:31,270 Can we wheel him into the other room? 1281 01:35:34,241 --> 01:35:36,374 See no evil. 1282 01:35:36,376 --> 01:35:38,142 Happy now? 1283 01:35:38,144 --> 01:35:39,911 It's like a demented budgie. 1284 01:35:39,913 --> 01:35:40,713 Don't let them stop singing. 1285 01:35:40,715 --> 01:35:42,381 Shut up. 1286 01:35:53,893 --> 01:35:56,861 [KNOCKING] 1287 01:35:56,863 --> 01:35:57,630 Oh, oh... 1288 01:35:57,632 --> 01:35:59,063 Really? 1289 01:35:59,065 --> 01:36:03,401 (SINGING) 10 beautiful, Oh creatures... 1290 01:36:03,403 --> 01:36:04,536 OK. 1291 01:36:04,538 --> 01:36:07,171 No, just leave him. 1292 01:36:07,173 --> 01:36:10,542 I can't do this with songs of praise on coming. 1293 01:36:10,544 --> 01:36:15,179 Oh, tell them to sing come we faithful or something. 1294 01:36:15,181 --> 01:36:16,782 Will be back in one minute. 1295 01:36:28,428 --> 01:36:30,496 Tell your God to stop screwing with my night, OK? 1296 01:36:39,640 --> 01:36:42,841 There was no one there, so. 1297 01:36:51,484 --> 01:36:54,118 Your cries back, father. 1298 01:36:54,120 --> 01:36:56,188 Time for one last hymn. 1299 01:37:05,365 --> 01:37:07,031 What's wrong? 1300 01:37:07,033 --> 01:37:08,600 It's my dad. 1301 01:37:08,602 --> 01:37:11,102 He's come around. 1302 01:37:11,104 --> 01:37:14,673 What do you mean he's come around? 1303 01:37:14,675 --> 01:37:18,042 Apparently, he's awake and wants to make a confession. 1304 01:37:18,044 --> 01:37:19,579 What type of confession? 1305 01:37:22,949 --> 01:37:25,116 Please, this is nothing to do with me, OK? 1306 01:37:25,118 --> 01:37:26,518 The daughter is on the way. 1307 01:37:26,520 --> 01:37:27,753 I'm innocent, please. 1308 01:37:27,755 --> 01:37:29,188 I haven't done anything. 1309 01:37:34,194 --> 01:37:37,462 What should we do about it? 1310 01:37:37,464 --> 01:37:41,333 [SCREAMS] 1311 01:37:54,815 --> 01:37:56,914 Father. 1312 01:37:56,916 --> 01:37:58,585 Father. 1313 01:38:04,759 --> 01:38:06,157 Where is he? 1314 01:38:06,159 --> 01:38:07,992 I don't know. 1315 01:38:07,994 --> 01:38:09,795 Where's the damn nurse? 1316 01:38:09,797 --> 01:38:11,463 My God. 1317 01:38:28,516 --> 01:38:32,050 [SCREAMS] 1318 01:38:59,880 --> 01:39:01,548 We found this in the graveyard. 1319 01:39:22,870 --> 01:39:25,637 Who are you? 1320 01:39:25,639 --> 01:39:28,206 You know who we are. 1321 01:39:28,208 --> 01:39:30,075 We are fallen angels. 1322 01:39:35,950 --> 01:39:39,183 I don't know what you mean. 1323 01:39:39,185 --> 01:39:41,420 Is that what you told your boyfriend? 1324 01:39:44,625 --> 01:39:47,459 The time has come for you to look upon our faces. 1325 01:39:54,334 --> 01:39:56,535 This is one of the ropes he used to wear, 1326 01:39:56,537 --> 01:39:59,136 well, before taking it off. 1327 01:39:59,138 --> 01:40:02,875 He dead rode Father McShane. 1328 01:40:02,877 --> 01:40:06,645 Don't let them stop singing. 1329 01:40:06,647 --> 01:40:10,616 We should kill her now, then we can get on with daddy. 1330 01:40:10,618 --> 01:40:11,583 He's never... 1331 01:40:11,585 --> 01:40:13,284 Shush. 1332 01:40:13,286 --> 01:40:15,219 You're just one more lie to cover up 1333 01:40:15,221 --> 01:40:18,657 for his crimes like the songs. 1334 01:40:18,659 --> 01:40:22,828 Didn't... I didn't know. 1335 01:40:22,830 --> 01:40:24,930 Christian saw what happened that night in the church 1336 01:40:24,932 --> 01:40:27,231 after choir practice. 1337 01:40:27,233 --> 01:40:28,867 He was late to leave. 1338 01:40:28,869 --> 01:40:31,402 He saw you see it all. 1339 01:40:31,404 --> 01:40:34,205 Things on my mind of you. 1340 01:40:34,207 --> 01:40:38,710 I am a man of God, and he speaks through me. 1341 01:40:38,712 --> 01:40:40,579 You must never mention what happened here tonight. 1342 01:40:40,581 --> 01:40:42,446 That boy had the devil in him. 1343 01:40:42,448 --> 01:40:45,784 Your father did what he had to do. 1344 01:40:45,786 --> 01:40:48,419 Maybe the devil is gone now when you hit him with that cross. 1345 01:40:48,421 --> 01:40:50,054 Maybe you knocked the devil out of him. 1346 01:40:50,056 --> 01:40:52,223 I don't think we can take that risk. 1347 01:40:52,225 --> 01:40:53,391 What are you going to do? 1348 01:40:53,393 --> 01:40:55,627 Nothing you need worry about. 1349 01:40:55,629 --> 01:40:57,829 Now go up to the altar, put your hands over your ears 1350 01:40:57,831 --> 01:41:00,331 and pray as hard as you can. 1351 01:41:00,333 --> 01:41:02,100 Your father has a late night song to prepare. 1352 01:41:05,906 --> 01:41:07,807 How your father told you to say nothing. 1353 01:41:18,184 --> 01:41:20,052 Father is dealing with the devil. 1354 01:41:20,054 --> 01:41:21,720 Father is dealing with the devil. 1355 01:41:21,722 --> 01:41:24,590 Father is dealing with the devil. 1356 01:41:24,592 --> 01:41:26,758 Father is dealing with the devil. 1357 01:41:26,760 --> 01:41:29,126 Father is dealing with the devil. 1358 01:41:29,128 --> 01:41:31,530 Father is dealing with the devil. 1359 01:41:31,532 --> 01:41:34,298 Father is dealing with the devil. 1360 01:41:34,300 --> 01:41:36,068 Father is dealing with the devil. 1361 01:41:36,070 --> 01:41:38,169 Father is dealing with the devil. 1362 01:41:38,171 --> 01:41:40,939 Father is dealing with the devil. 1363 01:41:40,941 --> 01:41:42,908 Christian, you followed your father in the graveyard 1364 01:41:42,910 --> 01:41:44,343 where he buried Dylan alive. 1365 01:41:59,627 --> 01:42:02,895 [LAUGHTER] 1366 01:42:41,869 --> 01:42:44,603 We're all too scared to go to the police. 1367 01:42:44,605 --> 01:42:47,271 Dylan wasn't the only kid to go missing. 1368 01:42:47,273 --> 01:42:54,947 God only knows how many are buried in the graves out there. 1369 01:43:11,364 --> 01:43:12,899 The boyfriend looks awfully nervous. 1370 01:43:16,503 --> 01:43:18,202 His heart is beating too fast, 1371 01:43:18,204 --> 01:43:20,606 Well, we best clean it out then. 1372 01:43:23,610 --> 01:43:25,645 You still got that toilet cleaner, Joseph. 1373 01:43:30,316 --> 01:43:31,951 Don't. 1374 01:43:37,356 --> 01:43:40,893 [GROANING] 1375 01:43:41,829 --> 01:43:43,863 No, no. 1376 01:43:51,839 --> 01:43:55,339 And now for you. 1377 01:43:55,341 --> 01:43:57,609 Please. 1378 01:43:57,611 --> 01:43:58,978 I'm pregnant, please. 1379 01:44:06,887 --> 01:44:10,757 The evil ends with you. 1380 01:44:13,127 --> 01:44:16,562 [SCREAMING] 1381 01:44:36,884 --> 01:44:41,386 I'll be back in an hour, it's in God's hands if you live. 1382 01:44:44,691 --> 01:44:46,626 There's no forgiveness for either of us. 1383 01:44:56,136 --> 01:44:58,004 Don't let stop singing. 1384 01:45:07,446 --> 01:45:10,950 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1385 01:46:07,341 --> 01:46:10,843 [JINGLE BELLS] 1386 01:46:33,100 --> 01:46:34,533 It's all over now. 1387 01:46:38,205 --> 01:46:39,671 What's wrong? 1388 01:46:39,673 --> 01:46:42,807 You look like you've seen the devil. 1389 01:46:42,809 --> 01:46:46,945 It's a Christmas miracle. 1390 01:46:46,947 --> 01:46:50,815 (SINGING) All things bright and beautiful, 1391 01:46:50,817 --> 01:46:54,186 all creatures great and small. 1392 01:46:57,157 --> 01:47:01,559 All things wise and wonderful, the Lord... 1393 01:47:01,561 --> 01:47:03,395 What's the matter? 1394 01:47:03,397 --> 01:47:05,664 Please touch your tongue. 1395 01:47:05,666 --> 01:47:09,935 (SINGING) Each little flower that opens, 1396 01:47:09,937 --> 01:47:15,240 each little bird that sings. 1397 01:47:15,242 --> 01:47:22,949 He made the colored flowers, he made their tiny wings. 1398 01:47:25,285 --> 01:47:32,925 All things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small. 1399 01:47:34,161 --> 01:47:41,499 All things wise and wonderful, the Lord God made them all. 1400 01:47:47,741 --> 01:47:51,177 Hear no evil, speak no evil. 1401 01:47:54,381 --> 01:47:55,915 See no evil. 1402 01:48:06,760 --> 01:48:10,462 (SINGING) All things bright and beautiful, 1403 01:48:10,464 --> 01:48:16,267 all creatures great and small, all things wise and wonderful, 1404 01:48:16,269 --> 01:48:20,205 the Lord God made them all. 1405 01:48:20,207 --> 01:48:23,675 What do you think of that lovely little story, Peter? 1406 01:48:23,677 --> 01:48:25,844 You like all the gory bits. 1407 01:48:25,846 --> 01:48:27,346 Aah 1408 01:48:27,348 --> 01:48:28,180 I know. 1409 01:48:28,182 --> 01:48:31,083 Hang on. 1410 01:48:31,085 --> 01:48:33,686 Do you want to hear a story about a Santa? 1411 01:48:33,688 --> 01:48:35,187 A Santa like you? 1412 01:48:35,189 --> 01:48:37,123 Yes. 1413 01:48:37,125 --> 01:48:38,357 Exactly like me. 1414 01:48:38,359 --> 01:48:41,494 How did you know? 1415 01:48:41,496 --> 01:48:45,364 There was this man, put on a Christmas outfit every year, 1416 01:48:45,366 --> 01:48:52,973 always tried to keep Christmas magic, and his wife left him. 1417 01:48:53,841 --> 01:48:58,544 Emma, what are you doing? 1418 01:48:58,546 --> 01:49:00,613 I know this is a shit time of year to do this to you, Tony. 1419 01:49:00,615 --> 01:49:02,015 What are you talking about? 1420 01:49:04,552 --> 01:49:08,421 I'm so sorry, Tony. 1421 01:49:08,423 --> 01:49:12,191 Mom, why do we have to stay so late at grandma's? 1422 01:49:12,193 --> 01:49:14,026 Go unpack, Billy, you ain't going nowhere. 1423 01:49:14,028 --> 01:49:15,895 Billy, don't listen to him. 1424 01:49:15,897 --> 01:49:17,664 Go downstairs and wait for me. 1425 01:49:21,102 --> 01:49:22,802 Do it. 1426 01:49:22,804 --> 01:49:25,271 Go downstairs. 1427 01:49:25,273 --> 01:49:26,673 We'll come and get you. 1428 01:49:30,812 --> 01:49:38,518 Please, Emma, it's Christmas. 1429 01:49:38,520 --> 01:49:41,487 We can work through this. 1430 01:49:41,489 --> 01:49:44,890 You can't fix this. 1431 01:49:44,892 --> 01:49:46,425 This hasn't been real for a long time, Tony. 1432 01:49:46,427 --> 01:49:49,695 You know that. 1433 01:49:49,697 --> 01:49:51,931 We're bipolar. 1434 01:49:51,933 --> 01:49:53,900 Our marriage is about as real as you being Santa. 1435 01:49:59,774 --> 01:50:01,641 She even tried to take his kid too. 1436 01:50:05,813 --> 01:50:10,150 You can go, but you will not take my son. 1437 01:50:13,488 --> 01:50:15,055 Watch me. 1438 01:50:19,561 --> 01:50:22,596 Mom, I can't find my robot toy. 1439 01:50:22,598 --> 01:50:23,629 Billy, don't worry about it. 1440 01:50:23,631 --> 01:50:25,532 There isn't time. 1441 01:50:25,534 --> 01:50:27,501 Stone, Emma, please. 1442 01:50:27,503 --> 01:50:28,502 For fucks sake. 1443 01:50:28,504 --> 01:50:30,537 Where are my keys 1444 01:50:30,539 --> 01:50:34,541 I will not let you take my son, not with that bastard. 1445 01:50:34,543 --> 01:50:36,075 Who was it. 1446 01:50:36,077 --> 01:50:38,177 Fine I'm putting on some weight. 1447 01:50:38,179 --> 01:50:39,713 Ridiculous. 1448 01:50:42,884 --> 01:50:44,317 But he wouldn't let her. 1449 01:50:49,223 --> 01:50:54,561 No one's going to take my son away from me. 1450 01:50:54,563 --> 01:50:57,797 See, Billy, I told you you weren't going nowhere. 1451 01:51:01,369 --> 01:51:03,403 We've always loved this tune, ain't we Emma? 1452 01:51:06,642 --> 01:51:08,141 Your mother gave us that box. 1453 01:51:10,378 --> 01:51:12,045 She's next. 1454 01:51:19,420 --> 01:51:20,854 Christmas morning. 1455 01:51:23,625 --> 01:51:28,127 Time to deck the halls with blood, 1456 01:51:28,129 --> 01:51:30,196 I even took his job away. 1457 01:51:30,198 --> 01:51:32,331 We're sorry, Tony, we just feel you're 1458 01:51:32,333 --> 01:51:35,434 no longer right for Santa's happy grotto Incorporated. 1459 01:51:35,436 --> 01:51:40,172 But on five years running, Santa of the month. 1460 01:51:40,174 --> 01:51:42,642 Well, we only operate for one month of the year. 1461 01:51:42,644 --> 01:51:45,010 You can't get rid of me. 1462 01:51:45,012 --> 01:51:47,046 Who would replace me? 1463 01:51:47,048 --> 01:51:49,148 Well, actually, we've already asked 1464 01:51:49,150 --> 01:51:52,284 Richard to take your place. 1465 01:51:52,286 --> 01:51:54,253 Richard. 1466 01:51:54,255 --> 01:51:55,487 Richard. 1467 01:51:55,489 --> 01:51:57,223 Sorry, Tony. 1468 01:51:57,225 --> 01:52:01,727 There's a new Santa in town. 1469 01:52:01,729 --> 01:52:09,168 You cannot be serious, you can't replace me with that. 1470 01:52:09,170 --> 01:52:12,672 The outfit doesn't even fit, and he's never held 1471 01:52:12,674 --> 01:52:14,974 more than a grotto in cavern. 1472 01:52:14,976 --> 01:52:17,142 I'm sorry, Tony. 1473 01:52:17,144 --> 01:52:21,847 The decisions being made. 1474 01:52:21,849 --> 01:52:26,252 Well, you can take away my grotto, 1475 01:52:26,254 --> 01:52:32,391 but you can't take my dignity. 1476 01:52:32,393 --> 01:52:40,066 I am going to take my act, and my very large bulging sack 1477 01:52:43,437 --> 01:52:51,211 elsewhere, and I'll bet you're all bloody communists. 1478 01:52:56,317 --> 01:52:59,285 Well, I don't think he's going to be on my list. 1479 01:52:59,287 --> 01:53:04,691 In the end, the grief and seeing all those children that weren't 1480 01:53:04,693 --> 01:53:12,365 his drove him and should we say odd, so we got revenge, 1481 01:53:15,803 --> 01:53:18,270 and handed out festive treats. 1482 01:53:18,272 --> 01:53:21,073 Where are my cookies from Santa, mommy? 1483 01:53:21,075 --> 01:53:22,542 You can't have them now, darling, it spoil your meal. 1484 01:53:22,544 --> 01:53:25,244 But look. 1485 01:53:25,246 --> 01:53:27,781 There has already been one reported fatality here today. 1486 01:53:27,783 --> 01:53:30,684 The police are desperately seeking anyone who has visited 1487 01:53:30,686 --> 01:53:33,653 the grotto as they believe that there is poisonous cookies 1488 01:53:33,655 --> 01:53:35,421 handed out by Santa. 1489 01:53:35,423 --> 01:53:37,122 Oh my God. 1490 01:53:37,124 --> 01:53:40,292 The Information right now is he was a member of ISIS. 1491 01:53:40,294 --> 01:53:44,564 Mommy, you stole my cookies. 1492 01:53:44,566 --> 01:53:46,131 And this elf just came out screaming at us, 1493 01:53:46,133 --> 01:53:47,333 my youngest is traumatized. 1494 01:53:47,335 --> 01:53:50,537 He was screaming out, stop. 1495 01:53:50,539 --> 01:53:52,338 I will be suing Happy Santas Grotto, Incorporated. 1496 01:53:52,340 --> 01:53:55,107 This is just not good enough. 1497 01:53:55,109 --> 01:53:56,475 As you can see, we've had a lot of trauma 1498 01:53:56,477 --> 01:53:57,811 tonight at the grotto. 1499 01:53:57,813 --> 01:53:59,278 We've had one girl who won't stop 1500 01:53:59,280 --> 01:54:00,979 crying at the sight of a reindeer, 1501 01:54:00,981 --> 01:54:02,481 and another who tried to choke herself to death 1502 01:54:02,483 --> 01:54:04,183 with a Tamagotchi. 1503 01:54:04,185 --> 01:54:05,685 She corrected awful kids on the street. 1504 01:54:05,687 --> 01:54:07,886 Oh, Santa. 1505 01:54:07,888 --> 01:54:09,789 You walking back to the North Pole 1506 01:54:09,791 --> 01:54:12,125 because you're too fat for your reindeer to pull your ass back. 1507 01:54:16,197 --> 01:54:17,764 Oh, well, done Leo. 1508 01:54:17,766 --> 01:54:19,532 Now you've pissed off Santa. 1509 01:54:19,534 --> 01:54:20,933 Oh, what's the matter? 1510 01:54:20,935 --> 01:54:22,067 Where's my present? 1511 01:54:22,069 --> 01:54:23,068 I'll leave it out, Leo. 1512 01:54:23,070 --> 01:54:24,403 Look at him. 1513 01:54:24,405 --> 01:54:26,138 He's obviously had a bad Christmas. 1514 01:54:26,140 --> 01:54:28,340 So would I dressed up like that. 1515 01:54:28,342 --> 01:54:30,643 Oh, I'm having a bad Christmas too. 1516 01:54:30,645 --> 01:54:32,746 That's why I want my present. 1517 01:54:32,748 --> 01:54:35,447 You don't know nothing about a bad Christmas, kid. 1518 01:54:35,449 --> 01:54:36,215 Just leave him. 1519 01:54:36,217 --> 01:54:37,784 He's been drinking. 1520 01:54:37,786 --> 01:54:38,884 Come on guys, let's go. 1521 01:54:38,886 --> 01:54:39,985 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1522 01:54:39,987 --> 01:54:42,187 Through the window, I can the... 1523 01:54:42,189 --> 01:54:44,056 What did you say? 1524 01:54:44,058 --> 01:54:50,162 No, I've something in my sack for you. 1525 01:54:50,164 --> 01:54:51,598 I think he's had some funny mince pies. 1526 01:54:51,600 --> 01:54:52,599 He's getting creepy. 1527 01:54:52,601 --> 01:54:53,733 Come on, let's go. 1528 01:54:53,735 --> 01:54:56,001 You being funny. 1529 01:54:56,003 --> 01:54:58,705 Not feeling very jolly this Christmas. 1530 01:54:58,707 --> 01:55:00,005 Jesus Christ. 1531 01:55:00,007 --> 01:55:02,041 I'm not Jesus, I'm Santa. 1532 01:55:04,880 --> 01:55:06,446 Went round all the houses. 1533 01:55:09,316 --> 01:55:11,818 Oh, dad, what are you doing. 1534 01:55:11,820 --> 01:55:13,720 You just got us killed. 1535 01:55:13,722 --> 01:55:17,891 No dear, it's you not riding your reindeer zombie right. 1536 01:55:17,893 --> 01:55:19,626 I'm riding it fine. 1537 01:55:19,628 --> 01:55:20,993 You need to stop dying on exploding presents. 1538 01:55:20,995 --> 01:55:22,562 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1539 01:55:22,564 --> 01:55:27,634 Bring me too, we can fall in love With Christmas 1540 01:55:27,636 --> 01:55:35,576 if we want to one by one the family start rising. 1541 01:55:39,614 --> 01:55:40,747 It's Santa. 1542 01:55:40,749 --> 01:55:43,182 The real Santa is here. 1543 01:55:43,184 --> 01:55:44,249 There's no one there, Ben. 1544 01:55:44,251 --> 01:55:45,984 But I swear it was him. 1545 01:55:45,986 --> 01:55:48,621 He was real. 1546 01:55:48,623 --> 01:55:51,089 I think Josh scared you a little bit too much earlier. 1547 01:55:51,091 --> 01:55:52,525 No one believes me in this house. 1548 01:55:52,527 --> 01:55:54,794 You suck. 1549 01:55:54,796 --> 01:55:57,496 I hate you guys, Christmas. 1550 01:55:57,498 --> 01:55:59,264 Ben. 1551 01:55:59,266 --> 01:56:02,034 I'm going to go play my video game. 1552 01:56:02,036 --> 01:56:03,536 And what about the Christmas cake? 1553 01:56:03,538 --> 01:56:04,871 Christmas cake is more likely to kill me 1554 01:56:04,873 --> 01:56:06,673 than to kill our elves. 1555 01:56:06,675 --> 01:56:08,208 Oh, thanks. 1556 01:56:10,812 --> 01:56:12,946 For a wonderful Christmas. 1557 01:56:12,948 --> 01:56:14,380 Killing families. 1558 01:56:17,752 --> 01:56:19,819 You've got some giant bits. 1559 01:56:19,821 --> 01:56:25,424 [SINISTER LAUGHTER] 1560 01:56:25,426 --> 01:56:28,228 You like Christmas games where people get killed, kid. 1561 01:56:34,335 --> 01:56:37,303 How about Santa brings you a real game this year? 1562 01:56:39,708 --> 01:56:41,508 And telling kids stories to cover up 1563 01:56:41,510 --> 01:56:43,710 the real horrific story he was carrying. 1564 01:56:43,712 --> 01:56:46,111 Hello, Benny boy. 1565 01:56:46,113 --> 01:56:48,481 Santa has come to pay you a visit. 1566 01:56:52,219 --> 01:56:53,953 What happened to him? 1567 01:56:53,955 --> 01:56:57,790 Jeffrey Dahmer, 1568 01:56:57,792 --> 01:57:00,561 [LAUGHTER] 1569 01:57:04,298 --> 01:57:09,434 This is so funny, Where's your finger to film? 1570 01:57:09,436 --> 01:57:11,938 It's... it's a bit different to Rudolph's great. 1571 01:57:11,940 --> 01:57:14,139 Happy Christmas adventure. 1572 01:57:14,141 --> 01:57:17,376 Though I'd come round here, and be like the three ghosts 1573 01:57:17,378 --> 01:57:20,212 of Christmas, all rolled into one 1574 01:57:20,214 --> 01:57:26,118 and tell you three great Christmas stories. 1575 01:57:26,120 --> 01:57:28,621 I got you a special copy. 1576 01:57:28,623 --> 01:57:30,255 Really. 1577 01:57:30,257 --> 01:57:33,158 My parents wouldn't even let me watch TV. 1578 01:57:33,160 --> 01:57:36,328 No, don't worry about it. 1579 01:57:36,330 --> 01:57:38,397 I've sorted it all out with your parents. 1580 01:57:38,399 --> 01:57:41,400 This film is banned in 27 countries, 1581 01:57:41,402 --> 01:57:44,737 so hasn't got any rating. 1582 01:57:44,739 --> 01:57:50,176 This is the last present of Luke Everard. 1583 01:57:53,048 --> 01:57:56,348 It's freaks out here, and they sense it too, you know, 1584 01:57:56,350 --> 01:57:57,851 it's shocking. 1585 01:58:03,658 --> 01:58:11,496 I think I've cheered you up enough parents 1586 01:58:11,498 --> 01:58:13,900 you're feeling better now. 1587 01:58:13,902 --> 01:58:15,501 You've got to help me. 1588 01:58:15,503 --> 01:58:17,737 The Santa broke into our house, and then he 1589 01:58:17,739 --> 01:58:20,940 started telling me all these crazy Christmas stories. 1590 01:58:20,942 --> 01:58:22,610 And he's got this huge... 1591 01:58:25,346 --> 01:58:31,383 You didn't ask the bill payer's permission, 1592 01:58:31,385 --> 01:58:33,920 and now she's dead. 1593 01:58:33,922 --> 01:58:36,624 But that's still no excuse. 1594 01:58:39,561 --> 01:58:40,994 Does funny things with the head when 1595 01:58:40,996 --> 01:58:43,596 a father loses their child. 1596 01:58:43,598 --> 01:58:45,330 Worse than any child's new computer game. 1597 01:58:45,332 --> 01:58:46,833 You can kill as many kids as you like, 1598 01:58:46,835 --> 01:58:48,133 and get rewarded with extra bullets. 1599 01:58:48,135 --> 01:58:50,903 [LAUGHTER] 1600 01:58:50,905 --> 01:58:53,438 And worse than all the gory toys in a world, 1601 01:58:53,440 --> 01:58:54,974 you can put him up on a shelf with all 1602 01:58:54,976 --> 01:58:56,610 the others I bought you. 1603 01:59:01,281 --> 01:59:03,348 He even stopped enjoying a carols. 1604 01:59:03,350 --> 01:59:05,918 Goulet singing. 1605 01:59:05,920 --> 01:59:07,486 I've ripped out a vocal cords of people 1606 01:59:07,488 --> 01:59:09,188 who sang better than that. 1607 01:59:11,826 --> 01:59:14,060 Many of you put on a Santa costume, 1608 01:59:14,062 --> 01:59:17,295 people think they can take bloody liberties, 1609 01:59:17,297 --> 01:59:19,566 although the mince pies are a bit of a bonus. 1610 01:59:34,816 --> 01:59:37,050 Delicious. 1611 01:59:37,052 --> 01:59:38,751 Don't worry, Ben. 1612 01:59:38,753 --> 01:59:40,520 Those, social workers aren't going 1613 01:59:40,522 --> 01:59:44,090 to take you and the other kids away ever again. 1614 01:59:44,092 --> 01:59:45,658 You're going to spend Christmas Day with me. 1615 01:59:45,660 --> 01:59:49,028 [LAUGHTER] 1616 01:59:49,030 --> 01:59:52,498 And we are going to have the best Christmas ever. 1617 01:59:55,503 --> 02:00:02,608 No justice for fathers, you know. 1618 02:00:02,610 --> 02:00:05,611 Not even Father Christmas. 1619 02:00:05,613 --> 02:00:07,446 You could blame a man for letting 1620 02:00:07,448 --> 02:00:09,381 himself go putting on weight, stopping shaving, 1621 02:00:09,383 --> 02:00:11,951 and running away to a desolate cold landscape 1622 02:00:11,953 --> 02:00:14,487 with thousands of made up little creatures creating toys. 1623 02:00:19,226 --> 02:00:27,000 Toys his child we'll never play with. 1624 02:00:31,973 --> 02:00:37,375 That is why I carry a machete like this in my bag. 1625 02:00:37,377 --> 02:00:40,847 Peter, where are you? 1626 02:00:40,849 --> 02:00:46,351 You stay while I go and sort your mom out. 1627 02:00:46,353 --> 02:00:48,621 While he was finishing off my family, 1628 02:00:48,623 --> 02:00:50,858 I managed to escape into the snow. 1629 02:00:56,030 --> 02:00:57,663 I wish people would just accept 1630 02:00:57,665 --> 02:01:00,365 where they're going to die. 1631 02:01:00,367 --> 02:01:02,034 Christmas is hard enough without them 1632 02:01:02,036 --> 02:01:03,904 fucking clinging on to life. 1633 02:01:11,311 --> 02:01:14,948 Peter, where are you you little shit? 1634 02:01:20,555 --> 02:01:25,490 Peter, I've got a nice little present for you, 1635 02:01:25,492 --> 02:01:30,495 Peter come on out. 1636 02:01:30,497 --> 02:01:32,999 I know you're here somewhere. 1637 02:01:33,001 --> 02:01:35,201 Peter. 1638 02:01:35,203 --> 02:01:36,837 Peter. 1639 02:01:43,845 --> 02:01:46,914 Kids these days, all of them, little shits. 1640 02:02:06,134 --> 02:02:09,268 I know you're in there. 1641 02:02:09,270 --> 02:02:12,940 I'm going to skin you alive like Peter fucking rabbit. 1642 02:02:27,655 --> 02:02:30,389 Jesus is going to save you now kid. 1643 02:03:07,128 --> 02:03:11,764 [GASPING] 1644 02:03:11,766 --> 02:03:14,067 That's when I stabbed him with the machete he dropped. 1645 02:03:37,792 --> 02:03:40,593 And that's the Christmas I found out Santa is not real. 1646 02:03:40,595 --> 02:03:42,495 He's a mental psychopath. 1647 02:03:55,576 --> 02:04:01,213 Then I ended up here, in this children's home. 1648 02:04:01,215 --> 02:04:03,316 Santa is coming for you. 1649 02:04:03,318 --> 02:04:04,617 Nearly Christmas time again. 1650 02:04:04,619 --> 02:04:06,585 Leave me alone. 1651 02:04:06,587 --> 02:04:07,954 He finished off your family and now 1652 02:04:07,956 --> 02:04:09,221 he's going to finish off you. 1653 02:04:09,223 --> 02:04:10,823 Stop him. 1654 02:04:10,825 --> 02:04:12,457 He's going to skin you alive like Peter rabbit. 1655 02:04:12,459 --> 02:04:14,193 Stop it. 1656 02:04:14,195 --> 02:04:17,863 On the 12th killer Christmas Day Santa said to me, 1657 02:04:17,865 --> 02:04:20,968 a dead family in a fern tree. 1658 02:04:24,839 --> 02:04:27,306 Can you hear a sleigh coming with all the dead kids. 1659 02:04:27,308 --> 02:04:28,607 Halt Harry, leave him alone. 1660 02:04:28,609 --> 02:04:29,742 Don't worry. 1661 02:04:29,744 --> 02:04:30,710 We're done anyway. 1662 02:04:30,712 --> 02:04:32,713 Yeah, little pussy. 1663 02:04:42,657 --> 02:04:45,858 Try and ignore them, Peter. 1664 02:04:45,860 --> 02:04:49,428 They aren't seeing their families either this Christmas. 1665 02:04:49,430 --> 02:04:51,263 Their families were murdered. 1666 02:04:51,265 --> 02:04:53,332 At least your family wanted you. 1667 02:04:53,334 --> 02:04:56,369 My crack addict mom would rather be in prison. 1668 02:04:56,371 --> 02:05:00,373 Christmas can go fuck itself. 1669 02:05:00,375 --> 02:05:04,077 We never going to escape Christmas, are we? 1670 02:05:25,868 --> 02:05:30,404 What the hell are you doing you little creep? 1671 02:05:30,406 --> 02:05:31,806 You trying to scare me? 1672 02:05:35,110 --> 02:05:36,744 Holt? 1673 02:05:57,032 --> 02:05:59,534 You were always nice to me, so... 1674 02:05:59,536 --> 02:06:01,768 And so let you live. 1675 02:06:01,770 --> 02:06:04,872 Think of it as my Christmas present. 1676 02:06:16,852 --> 02:06:20,921 Yeah, might need it. 1677 02:06:20,923 --> 02:06:22,890 It is Christmas Day tomorrow after all. 1678 02:06:27,530 --> 02:06:29,696 Have a Merry Christmas. 1679 02:06:29,698 --> 02:06:30,864 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1680 02:06:30,866 --> 02:06:36,403 The animals have turned white. 1681 02:06:36,405 --> 02:06:42,909 Santa is dropping bombs tonight, it's getting cold, 1682 02:06:42,911 --> 02:06:49,249 here's the snow, and I know you won't be home, 1683 02:06:49,251 --> 02:06:54,654 I'm changing you in fall out light, 1684 02:06:54,656 --> 02:06:59,025 and I can see your lips turning blue, 1685 02:06:59,027 --> 02:07:06,701 I shouldn't have fallen in love with a homicidal Eskimo. 1686 02:07:08,170 --> 02:07:15,843 I see her bubble off the wall, hanging down from a tree. 1687 02:07:17,246 --> 02:07:25,019 I see her bubble off the wall, hung in a pagan dream. 1688 02:07:28,724 --> 02:07:36,263 The reindeer heads all looked out they would be pulling out 1689 02:07:36,265 --> 02:07:43,905 of town, sat in this old leather chair, my hunting rifle loaded 1690 02:07:45,207 --> 02:07:51,912 here, watching us far from the sky, 1691 02:07:51,914 --> 02:07:56,249 we're three feet deep in dust and bones. 1692 02:07:56,251 --> 02:08:03,891 None of the children gone to war, I got to be coming home. 1693 02:08:05,394 --> 02:08:13,034 I see her bubble off the wall, hanging out from a my tree. 1694 02:08:14,504 --> 02:08:22,176 I see a bubble off the wall, hung in a pagan dream. 1695 02:08:26,215 --> 02:08:33,921 The misteletoe and your smiles, dancing pretty in rubble, 1696 02:08:35,123 --> 02:08:41,328 the antlers that you like to wear, before you cross yourself 1697 02:08:41,330 --> 02:08:44,297 and lift his head. 1698 02:08:44,299 --> 02:08:51,906 I see her bubble of the wall, hanging down I'm from a tree. 1699 02:08:53,475 --> 02:09:00,881 I see her bubble off the wall hung in the pagan dream. 1700 02:09:04,721 --> 02:09:12,393 I see her bubble off the wall, hanging down from a tree, 1701 02:09:13,428 --> 02:09:21,235 I see her bubble off the wall, hung in a pagan dream. 118398

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