All language subtitles for White House Plumbers S01E01 The Beverly Hills Burglary 1080p HMAX WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-playWEB (1)_track4_[eng]

♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

You left the tag on.

Everything I do has a purpose, muchacho.

It's a good plan, boss.

Classic blitzkrieg.
Worked in Poland.

Shall we?

ROLANDO "MUSCULITO" MARTINEZ:
Okay. Okay. Fan out.

Slow. Slow.

Let's go.

VILLO: En serio, alúmbrame,
aquí, ¿okay?

- BERNARD "MACHO" BARKER:
(SPEAKING SPANISH) - (IN ENGLISH) Okay.

- MACHO: (SPEAKING SPANISH)
- Chico, un momento, no me apure.

LIDDY: (IN ENGLISH) What?

MACHO: Don't worry, boss.
He's gonna get it.

- LIDDY: Oh, good.
- Okay.

(INHALES SHARPLY)

Pasa de grado.

HOWARD: Villo, ¿qué pasa?

(IN ENGLISH)
These are the wrong tools.

LIDDY: What? He has
the wrong tools.

How is that even possible?

- I have right tools!
- He has the right tools.

In Miami.

(OVERLAPPING ARGUING IN SPANISH)

- (HOWARD SHUSHES)
- MACHO: (IN ENGLISH) I'm so sorry, boss.

- LIDDY: Let's go.
- HOWARD: Vamanos.

(OVERLAPPING SPANISH CHATTER)

♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

♪ (THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)
- Entrez-vous.

Howard, I just read the copy
for the HEW account.

It's not quite there yet.

The section
on the Child Safety Act.

It just seems flavorless.

So, you want me to make

choking kids more spicy?

- SPENCER OLIVER: Well--
- Christ, Spence,

is that my legacy?
Working on this garbage.

We really need you
to be a little more grateful

for this job, Howard.

Remember, you were unhireable
when the agency dumped you.

NEWS ANCHOR: This week marks
the tenth anniversary

of the failed invasion

by Cuban exiles to overthrow
Castro, more commonly known

- as the Bay of Pigs.
- DOROTHY HUNT: Howard?

- Howard, phone!
- NEWS ANCHOR: The botched invasion

pushed Cuba closer
to the Soviet Union.

Repercussions of this event

continue to this day,
where it is now widely seen

as the largest CIA failure ever.

HOWARD: CIA my ass!
It was that chicken-shit

- Kennedy's fault.
- (ELECTRIC GUITAR STRUMMING)

(HOWARD EXHALES DEEPLY)

- Sunny boy...
- (GASPS)

...you know,
you're a half-step flat.

It's like an ice pick
to the temple.

Sorry, Papa. I-- I thought
you were s-- upstairs.

What is that? Daniel Ellsberg.

How did this leftist propaganda
end up in my house?

We subscribe.

DOROTHY: Howard?

Howard! Are you deaf?

It's the White House.
Charles Colson.

- You hear that?
- ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(CHUCKLES)

They can't blame me forever.
I told you they'd call.

DOROTHY: Please just listen
to what they have to say.

- Huh.
- DOROTHY: Try not to be such

- an asshole.
- Papa! Can you and me go--

Papa's gotta an important call
now, kiddo.

Maybe we can celebrate
after with some ice cream.

- (GASPS)
- And it's "Might you and I."

- DAVID HUNT: Ice cream!
- Howard Hunt.

RECEPTIONIST: (OVER PHONE)
Please hold for Mr. Colson.

Yes, I'll hold.

(TYPEWRITER KEYS CLICKING)

ST. JOHN HUNT: "He grabbed
the secret plans

from her roughly.
'Oh, Jake. Oh, you bastard.'"

Hey! (SHUSHES)

Does anybody actually read
Papa's books?

- I'm just the typist.
- Chuck! How the hell are you?

CHARLES COLSON: Howard,
the President asked

for a real son of a bitch

to handle this Pentagon
papers leak.

I naturally thought of you.

- What do you need?
- ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

RADIO NEWSCASTER: A Boston judge
is now deciding

if Daniel Ellsberg,

who leaked the Pentagon papers,
may be extradited...

- (CAR HORN HONKING)
- Move!

RADIO NEWSCASTER:
From the President on down,

the administration is determined
to discourage

any future leaks.
NBC News, Washington.

EGIL "BUD" KROGH: Colson speaks
very highly of you.

HOWARD: That's good to hear.

He doesn't speak highly
of anyone.

Nor do they of him. (CHUCKLES)

Jesting. Please don't tell him
I said that.

Of course not.

SIU has been a long time coming,

but this Pentagon
papers business

was the final straw.

The country's going to hell
in a hand-basket.

Goddamn Jane Fonda.

People need to understand
they cannot violate

our national security
and get away with it.

The President feels
there's been too much

heel-dragging
on these leaks.

Heel-dragging and pussyfooting.

If there's one thing
I detest more

than heel-dragging,
it's pussyfooting.

Son of a bitch
steals 7,000 pages

of top-secret documents
and gives it

to the goddamn press?
High treason!

I told Colson I think Ellsberg
should be...

tarred and feathered and hanged.

Well, then,
you and the President

are of the same mind.

Hence, SIU.
Special Intelligence Unit.

Oh, look, right.

Uh, Bud, I-- I--
I don't mean to step on

any toes here
but, uh,

"Special Intelligence"
makes it sound

like we're, uh,
mentally handicapped.

That had not occurred to me.

JOHN DEAN:
Just make sure he does it

- quickly this time.
- John.

- Bud.
- Oh!

Well, this must be the,
uh, the master spy.

- (CHUCKLES)
- Howard Hunt, John Dean,

White House Counsel.

John.

What a pleasure to meet you.

Likewise, Hunt.

Good luck
with your little project.

Don't mind Dean.

He thought SIU
should have been his,

but between us,

the President thinks he
has too much old lady in him.

Yeah, well,
that explains the hairdo.

(CHUCKLES)

- ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- BUD: I want you to meet

Gordon Liddy.
We worked narcotics together

at Treasury. You'll like him.

Toughest guy I know.
He has a thing that he does

to prove his commitment.
He'll hold his hand

in the flame of a candle.

And? What's the trick?

There isn't one.
Gets third-degree burns

every time, never flinches.
He's a great guy.

- Real family man.
- SECRETARY: Don't touch me!

- (G. GORDON LIDDY GROANS)
- BUD: Gordon.

Now, you're going to thrust
that right there.

Right through
the pervert's cartilage,

straight up and into the brain.
And voilà, threat neutralized.

Gordon Liddy.
This is Howard Hunt.

LIDDY: Huh.

Colson made you sound
like a, uh...

- regular James Bond.
- Funny, he never mentioned you.

Uh, for the record,
James Bond is a work of fiction.

I am the real deal.

- LIDDY: Oh.
- I write fiction,

so I know the difference.

Howard and Colson are both
Brown men.

Oh! Where'd you go
to school, amigo?

Ah, Fordham.

Hmm, they teach you
that pencil business at Fordham?

BUD: We're told Ellsberg
is seeing a psychiatrist.

Uh, Bud, uh, I had a few ideas
about Ellsberg.

- You know, I think he might be--
- (DOOR CLOSING)

LIDDY: There's been
a spate of rapes

in the area.

So, I've been teaching
the girls in the office

a little basic self-defense.

Well, let us pray those rapes
happen near pencil sharpeners.

- Gentlemen.
- See, Hunt,

here at SIU, I try
and teach my people

to embrace the unorthodox.

- Dream the impossible.
- HOWARD: Your people?

Bud, uh...

(CLEARS THROAT) ...maybe
I'm a little confused here,

Colson told me
that SIU was my op.

With you providing oversight,
of course.

You have been given
erroneous information.

SIU is mine.

Everybody knows SIU
is a Gordon Liddy operation.

Gentlemen.
As per the President,

I will be heading up SIU.

You two will work together,
you will report to me.

That's the arrangement.
Take it or leave it.

- Roger that, amigo.
- Copacetic.

♪ (NOSTALGIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(HORSE SNORTING)

Nothing makes my heart pound
like a well-tailored pair

of riding pants.

(CHUCKLES) You are such
a simple man, Mr. Hunt.

Sounds like someone's
had a good day.

I did indeed.

DOROTHY: Makes one of us.

What's the matter?

Lisa's been calling.

In tears.

(SIGHS) It's goddamn
American University,

it's not Harvard.

Apparently, her professors
do not understand her.

HOWARD: Join the club.

- Mm, really good curry, Mama.
- Oh, thank you, sweetie.

Mm. Next time,
perhaps fewer raisins.

No, thank you.

I've got some good news!
They're setting me up

in the White House.
Office with the secretary.

- DOROTHY: The West Wing?
- Well, the EOB.

Which is still considered
the White House.

- Cool!
- DOROTHY: Only to people

who work in the EOB. (SCOFFS)

- (TELEPHONE RINGING)
- Are you going to meet the President?

- HOWARD: Well,
- it's funny you ask that. - ST. JOHN: It's...

probably Lisa again.

Hi, Honey.

Actually, Papa already met
the President

when he was vice president.

We had dinner together
in Mexico.

- Wow!
- HOWARD: The spicy food, sadly,

did not agree with him,

so he ordered cottage cheese.
With ketchup.

DOROTHY: ...if you're crying.

Oh, Christ! Is it too much
to ask to enjoy one damn meal?

I'll call you back after dinner.
I-- I love you.

(SIGHS)

Is Lisa going back
to the nuthouse?

No, sweetie.
Don't call it that.

It was a hospital.

HOWARD: Christ. All that money
to all those doctors,

right down the commode!

ST. JOHN: Oh, come on, David.
Let's go wa-- wa--

watch some TV. (CLEARS THROAT)

It's been five years
since the car accident.

I mean, she should be better
by now.

It wasn't just the accident,
Howard. You know that.

Leave my plate in the icebox.

Howard, we need to have
a serious talk.

Not today. Today is a good day.

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

(DOOR CLOSING)

PROTESTORS: One, two,
three, four!

We don't want your fucking war!

- ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- One, two, three, four!

We don't want your fucking war!

One, two, three, four!
We don't want your fucking war!

One, two, three, four!
We don't want your fucking war!

One, two, three, four!
We don't want your fucking war!

One, two, three, four!
We don't want your fucking war!

One, two, three, four!
We don't want your fucking war!

One, two, three, four!
We don't want your fucking...

These are the latest
wiretap transcripts.

We have taps
on Ellsberg's phones,

as well as those
of his family, associates,

even his Beverly Hills psychiatrist.

I'll be candid, gentlemen.
We don't have a hell of a lot.

I'm sure Ellsberg knows
that his phone is tapped.

- He's no fool.
- What does it say in the file?

Uh, from the psychiatrist?

Dr. Fielding refused to turn it
over to us.

Doctor-patient privilege.

Clearly,
they're hiding something.

And what they're hiding
is that Ellsberg

is a communist agent.

Connect the dots. Who benefits
from the world thinking

that we can't win in Vietnam?
Hanoi, Russia, China, Cuba.

We have no hard evidence
he's a spy.

- Yet.
- A line has been crossed.

Ellsberg needs to be taken down,
publicly discredited and fast.

The President wants extensive
polygraph tests from everyone

with high-level access.
DOD, CIA, FBI and State.

I've taken the liberty
of compiling a list

of 500 or so names,
grouped by department.

Five hundred?

Things have changed quite a bit
since your brief stint

with the Bureau, Gordon.

Director Hoover
doesn't believe

in lie detectors anymore.

Our machines are in a basement,
gathering dust. (SIGHS)

Well, if we're going to turn
the rats on each other,

we need to create a climate
of fear and distrust.

Nacht und nebel.

Night and fog.

We are not the White House's
gestapo.

(SNICKERS)

The President wants these polygraphs.

This is a direct order.

If the President
has any questions,

he's welcome to call
Director Hoover.

I assure you,
the FBI is committed

with all legal means
at our disposal to assist

the White House
in stopping leaks.

Gentlemen.

- (DOOR CLOSING)
- Bud?

Meeting adjourned.

(HOWARD SIGHS)

So, I guess it's just you
and me

against the entire radical left?

(EXHALES DEEPLY)
Sisyphus had it easy.

If you and I are the guys
that nail Ellsberg,

Nixon will love us.
And by extension,

Project ODESSA!

ODESSA?

Oh, yeah. New name for SIU.
ODESSA is the secret network

that helped the SS officers
get to South America.

And how exactly does
that relate

to our current national
security problems?

I already had
the stationery made.

You made stationery
for a covert op?

(INHALES SHARPLY)
We got to get that file

from the psychiatrist.

- Fielding.
- What kind of an idiot Soviet agent

spills his guts to a shrink?

If the FBI can't get their hands
on the file, how would we?

♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

We don't need to steal

Ellsberg's actual
psychiatric file,

just photograph it.
That will prove

- BUD: Hmm.
- ...he's in bed with the Russians,

and then we'll have
those Pentagon papers

by the short-hairs.

It's a simple black bag job, Bud.

- A black bag job?
- Yeah.

At the Company,
we call them black ops,

it's a better name.

The proverbial black bag refers
to the satchel

in which one carries
one's tools.

"Black Ops" is subtler.

The point is, Bud,
Fielding will never know

we were there. At this stage,
we're just talking recon,

not infiltration.

Yeah. Yeah, we'll scope out
the good doctor's building,

hallways and see
if we can gain entry.

A trip to Beverly Hills.

HOWARD: The CIA will provide us
with cameras,

documents, disguises.

What kind of disguises?

♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

- STEVE: Open.
- (GROANS)

STEVE: There you go.

We need driver's licenses,

pocket litter,
the whole kit and caboodle.

Yeah. Try these.

A standard issue 35-millimeter
camera as well

as a low-light miniature.
And walkie-talkies.

Walkies are all in use.
You'll have to supply your own.

- (LIDDY EXHALES SHARPLY)
- STEVE: Here.

Hey, how's that gait-alterer?

Feels like I have a pebble
in my shoe. (CHUCKLES)

I got a pebble in my shoe.
(CHUCKLES)

- (LAUGHS)
- You sure this

isn't too conspicuous
for a clandestine operation?

Exactly!

All they'll remember
about you is the gimmick.

"How tall was he?"
"Not sure."

"He walked with a limp."

"Eye color?" "Can't remember."
"Uh, his hair was bizarre."

"I couldn't tell
if it was a wig or not."

Classic misdirection.

Black ops 101.

See! (CHUCKLES)

- He calls it "black bag."
- Oh!

(ALL LAUGH)

An FBI dipshit.

(BOTH LAUGH)

♪ ("CRYSTAL BLUE PERSUASION"
BY TOMMY JAMES PLAYING) ♪

♪ Crystal blue persuasion
Mm-hmm ♪

♪ It's a new vibration ♪

LIDDY: Oh!
How about this weather? Hmm.

- Governor Ronald Reagan.
- Hmm.

Oh, about two blocks.
You're going to take a right.

- HOWARD: Yup.
- Apparently, Warren Beatty lives around here.

- Paul Newman, too.
- Communists.

HOWARD: You don't need
to exaggerate the limp.

LIDDY: I'm not exaggerating.

It hurts.

That's Fielding's office.

Get in the shot.
Like a tourist.

Say "cheese!"

- Cheese!
- HOWARD: Ah!

Good.

- Ma'am!
- TOURIST: Mm-hmm?

Might you take a picture
of myself and my friend,

- George F. Leonard.
- TOURIST: Of course.

- HOWARD: Thank you.
- Yeah.

- Actually, no. Uh, here. Here.
- Oh.

Smile, you're on vacation.

Where are you two from?

- Montana.
- Florida.

- Uh, okay. Smile!
- (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING)

HOWARD: Yeah, next to the car.

We're in a fucking alley.

Yeah, you're in California.
Look like you're having fun.

♪ (MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

- (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING)
- A little awkward.

It is what it is. (SIGHS)

LIDDY: Hey! That was him!
I'm telling you.

HOWARD: John Wayne
is not picking up

- his own dry cleaning.
- LIDDY: That was the Duke!

She saw us. Shit.
That's going to be a problem.

(EXHALES SHARPLY)
Hold on. Uh, i-- if Consuela

let's us in, there is no crime, right?

- You are the lawyer.
- Ooh. Wait.

- Let me think about--
- Hola, señora.

(CHUCKLES) Oh, señorita.

Somos, eh, doctores... y amigos

de Dr. Fielding.

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

(IN ENGLISH) Okay.

- What are we doing?
- You are going to leave

a very important message

for our dear friend,
Doctor Fielding.

I will wait out here.

Sí!

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

Gracias.

♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING)

¿Ustedes son doctores?

Sí, psiquiatras.

Somos muy importante.
(LAUGHS)

(GRUNTS, IN ENGLISH)
All done. With the note.

Doctor, did you forget
your glasses?

(CHUCKLES)

Yes. Farsighted.

I can't see a thing
without them.

Gracias.

HOWARD:
Did you photograph the file?

LIDDY: No,
the cabinet was locked,

But I shot the whole office.

HOWARD: Mission accomplished,
come on!

(SINGING)
♪ Out of the tree of life ♪

♪ I just picked me a plum ♪

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

♪ You came along
And everything started to hum ♪

♪ Still it's a real good bet
The best is yet to come ♪

♪ The best is yet to come
Come the day you're mine ♪

- LIDDY: So good!
- (HOWARD CHEERS)

- (ALL APPLAUD)
- LIDDY: (LAUGHS) Encore!

Thank you! The band is going
to "take five."

Please, be sure to tip
your waitress.

(ALL LAUGH)

That was wonderful,
Mr. Hamilton.

Are you a professional musician?

Uh, perhaps in a past life.

(BOTH LAUGH)

Actually, on the QT,
my colleague and I

just finished a top-secret
mission for President Nixon.

LIDDY: (STAMMERS) Oh, Edward!
You bull-shitter, you.

- (LAUGHS)
- (LAUGHS) This guy.

- That's not true. (LAUGHS)
- (LAUGHS)

HOWARD: By the way,
why don't you give me

your number and address.

I'll send you
my most recent book.

I am a novelist as well.

- Really?
- HOWARD: Yes.

And, uh,
maybe when I'm in town--

I have a top-secret mission
for you. One more beer, please.

Uh, anything German.

Oh, and some matches, please.

- Mm-hmm.
- HOWARD: Yes.

Hey, hey! What are you doing?

Telling an airborne waitress
that we work for the President?

Just blowing off steam, amigo.
Making new friends.

I promise you,
she didn't believe a word of it.

(GROANS)

You okay?

(GROANS) Goddamn ulcer.

This helps.

Look. Now, I appreciate
that you take chances

and, yes, we've gotten results.

But I can't have any fuckups, capisce?

It's too important.

Now, you listen to me, George.

You are not
a federal agent anymore,

you are an intelligence agent.

You are a spy.

And if you want to succeed
in this line of work,

you need to be willing to bend
the rules,

color outside the lines.

Sorry, all we have is Budweiser.

Oh, hell, yeah.
It sounds German, right?

(ALL LAUGH)

Oh, thank you.

- What is that?
- Nothing.

- Give me that.
- Don't even think twice.

- (LAUGHS)
- Give that!

- You better let me see that!
- No, get away from--

- (GRUNTS) Let me see! Give it!
- (LAUGHS)

Oh!

Linda. (CHUCKLES)

You are a married man,
Mr. Hunt.

Howard is. Edward is not.
(CHUCKLES)

- ♪ (MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- Just like that!

- (HOWARD MOANS)
- Just like that, Howard.

- Ed-- Edward.
- What?

Call me Edward.

Right, yes, sorry. I...
Edward, just like that, Edward.

(HOWARD GRUNTS)

- Edward!
- (MOANS)

- (MOANS, EXHALES)
- (HOWARD GROANS)

(EXHALES DEEPLY)

The L.A. mission was a success.

- That explains it. (SIGHS)
- (GROANS)

It's all coming together, Dot.

You know,
the kids have never been

- to Paris.
- Attends, chérie.

They're only paying me
a hundred dollars a day.

DOROTHY: Really?

I thought the SIU
was your big comeback.

Oh, it is.

They just don't know it yet.

HOWARD: Daniel Ellsberg's file
has to be in that cabinet.

I have to say, fellas...

I'm impressed.

You should have seen this guy operate.

- (CHUCKLES)
- He gets the cleaning lady

to let us in.
Ergo, all 100 percent legal.

And they can't ID us.

Oh, yeah. Good luck with that.
And the best part.

- When she leaves at night--
- Oh, yeah!

She doesn't even lock
the back door.

HOWARD: Slip in, get
into the filing cabinet,

slip out.

- In, out.
- Without anyone knowing.

Textbook black op.

BUD: Well, I'm going to run
your black bag op by Ehrlichman.

But I think he is going
to like it.

Great work.

♪ (MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

Plumbers?

We fix leaks.

Oh.

I think everybody
prefers ODESSA.

No, no. Plumbers is better.
Very clever.

DOROTHY: (SIGHS)
Thank you, Howard.

HOWARD: Yeah. (GRUNTS)

Come on, come on,
come on, we're running late.

We're not late.
We're ten minutes early, Howard.

- No, we're actually--
- Yes. We're ten minutes early.

Uh, listen, he can be a lot
to take at first

but, uh, he-- he kind of grows
on you.

Hmm. Some people say
the same thing about you.

- Psst! Just fix this.
- Please don't touch my hair.

- Howard.
- (GASPS)

Welcome! I'm Frances.

(LAUGHS) Come in, come in,
come in!

(LAUGHS)

Kids, I want you
to say hello to the Hunts.

- ALL: Hello!
- (LIDDY CHUCKLES)

Uh, this is Jim, Tom, Grace,
Alexandra and Raymond.

- Hello!
- Hello!

Tom?

Pleased to meet you,
Mr. and Mrs. Hunt.

It's an honor to have
such distinguished members

of the armed forces and,

- uh...
- Foreign services.

...foreign services in our home.

- (CHUCKLES)
- (CHUCKLES) And-- And may I say

what an honor it is
to meet such polite

and, uh, well-groomed
youngsters.

(WHISPERS) Take their coats.

May I please take your coat,
Mrs. Hunt?

Oh, uh, yes, thank you.

I hear you have a daughter
at Smith.

Uh, yes, Kevan.

What an unusual name
for a girl. Fun!

Okay. Who would like a drink?

- Yes.
- (LIDDY CHUCKLES)

There we go, upstairs.

(LAUGHS) It's just been
"Howard this,"

and "Howard that."
If Howard wasn't a man,

- I'd be jealous!
- (CHUCKLES) Well,

- maybe you should be.
- Oh, stop!

- (ALL LAUGH)
- So, where did you two meet?

Um, actually, we met in China.

- LIDDY: Oh!
- At work.

So you're also a--

Oh, I was. During the war,
I was involved in the recovery

of art stolen by the Nazis.

- Wow!
- Fascinating.

- FRAN LIDDY: Mm.
- LIDDY: Just fascinating.

Uh, I don't know,
I'm a history nut myself.

- He is.
- Yeah.

Well, actually,
I might have a little artifact

- that you might find very...
- Oh!

...interesting,
given your line of work.

HOWARD: You know,
when I met Dot,

she was formidable.

Carried a gun,
spoke multiple languages,

she was a veritable Bond girl.

Now, I'm just
a suburban hausfrau.

- (GRUNTS, CHUCKLES)
- (DOROTHY LAUGHS)

Nothing wrong with that.

And she's also a "translator"
at the Spanish Embassy,

- wink-wink.
- I heard that!

(CHUCKLES)

- How did you two meet?
- His sister set us up.

I selected Fran
for her high intelligence.

She used to work at IBM.

- Receptionist.
- And of course,

her Celtic/Teutonic genes.

- (CHUCKLES)
- Lineage is very important

to Gordon. Even more so
than intelligence.

I hope you all brought
your appetites tonight,

because Franny
makes a mean roast.

I love a good--

(HITLER SPEAKING IN GERMAN
OVER RECORD PLAYER)

- Is-- Is that Hitler?
- Yes.

Franny, do you want to go check
the potatoes?

(CHUCKLES) I set a timer!
I'll hear it go off!

See! Intelligence!

Gordon, you don't happen
to have any jazz, do you?

- No.
- Big band era? Benny Goodman?

You know,
I know Gene Krupa--

You met him once, Howard.
What is he yelling about?

Die Kunst Griechenlands.

What about showtunes?
You have any showtunes?

No. This is better.
He's talking about art

as propaganda
for the ancient Greeks.

Of course, he's comparing
the Hellenic ideal

- to the Bolshevik--
- (EGG SPLATS)

- LIDDY: Oh, God!
- Oh!

LIDDY: Franny, get down!

Oh, it's okay!
Just eggs, Gordon.

Just eggs. And some kids.

Fran. (INHALES DEEPLY)
Those goddamn punks are back.

I'm sorry everybody,
I'll be right back.

Honey, we have guests.

Why's he going upstairs?

Why don't you ask Hitler?

This whole new house,
new school--

It's been a bit
of an adjustment.

Gordon told the boys
not to take any guff

from the locals,
so they've gotten

in their share of dust-ups.

That's what the eggs
are about.

- HOWARD: Hmm.
- Such a waste of food.

Boys can be so cruel.

- I know.
- What?

It doesn't matter, Howard.

- Boys.
- HOWARD: Huh?

- Boys!
- Can I freshen your drink?

DOROTHY: Mm-hmm.

Do you mind to turn
that down a little bit?

FRAN: What?

(STAMMERS)

FRAN: Cheese?

We have all three.
Cheddar, Swiss and Jarlsberg.

- (DOOR OPENING)
- Problem solved.

Gordon, your leg again.

We had a civilized chat

and after a little old-fashioned
arm twisting,

they agreed to take
their carousing elsewhere.

- FRAN: Grace! Ice pack!
- GRACE LIDDY: Coming, Mother!

- FRAN: The potatoes!
- LIDDY: Oh, delicious!

So. (EXHALES DEEPLY)

I-- I know.

- The Nazi stuff.
- Yes.

(HOWARD EXHALES SHARPLY)

- And the gun.
- I know.

The sooner you are done
with this guy, the better.

Fran seems nice.

- (DOOR KNOCKING)
- (DOOR LOCK CLICKING)

Gordon. I've got some
very good news.

- Hello, Bud.
- Where's Hunt?

- (BRIEFCASE SLAMS)
- Bud.

Yes? Good!

Ellsberg mission is a go.

But you two cannot make
the entry yourselves.

You are White House employees
on the payroll.

- LIDDY: Hmm.
- We'll get outside help.

BUD: Exchange that
for fresh cash

at a bank so it isn't traceable.

Call me when it's done
and for God's sake,

- don't get caught.
- (LAUGHS)

♪ Look over yonder ♪

♪ A new day is comin'
Woo-hoo ♪

♪ Crystal blue persuasion ♪

HOWARD: How are we looking?

What kind of budget
is 2600 bucks

- for this kind of op?
- It's not about the money.

My boys would do it for free.
They're patriots.

Oh!

Real Americans.

Better.

♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(MUSCULITO SIGHS)

Oh. Uh, good afternoon.
Are you gentlemen checking in?

We're not staying here.

Excellent.

Then you're more than welcome
to park in our garage.

Okay.

(SPEAKS SPANISH)

(DE DIEGO SPEAKS SPANISH)

(BOTH SPEAK SPANISH)

(IN ENGLISH) If you see
the maid,

tell her we're out of soap.

The wife gets pretty jazzed
when I bring these home

from traveling.

You are one romantic
son of a bitch, Gordon Liddy.

- Well, I try.
- (DOOR KNOCKING)

It's the boys.

(BOTH SPEAK SPANISH)

(IN ENGLISH) We got off on six
and went up the stairs

to make sure
we weren't followed.

- We're on the seventh floor.
- He has the "angina."

Take your nitro, Macho.

HOWARD: Come here.
(SPEAKS SPANISH)

- (SPEAKS SPANISH)
- (LAUGHS)

(IN ENGLISH) Fellas, uh,
this is George F. Leonard.

He's ex-FBI.

George, this is Felipe De Diego,
Rolando Martinez,

known as "Musculito,"
and Bernard Barker.

- "Macho."
- Macho.

Macho.

A little birdie told me
you are all Bay of Pigs?

- Hmm?
- ♪ (PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

No.

It's okay. He knows.

Then yes.

(ALL LAUGH)

George, if you want a can't-lose
investment...

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- Miami real estate--

- Oh, I don't--
- If you ever want to talk property.

- HOWARD: Gentlemen!
- Call me.

Gentlemen.

To old friends!

- (ALL LAUGH)
- To new beginnings,

Cuba libre
and President Richard Nixon!

ALL: Viva Nixon!

And fuck Kennedy!

ALL: Fuck Kennedy!

(ALL LAUGH)

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- ALL: Fuck Kennedy!

♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

Any sign?

LIDDY: No.
Fielding is still in his office.

- What is that?
- This?

ZF-41 sniper scope.
World War II vintage.

German, of course.

Of course. Gordon...

I have to ask.

What's with the Hitler hard-on?

You know, a lot of us fought
in the war.

I'm no Nazi.

Believe me.

And I understand
what those people did

was pure evil. (INHALES DEEPLY)
But before the war,

Hoboken was a pretty rough town
and I...

I was a scrawny little mick,

and used to get
the shit kicked out of me daily.

Scared to even leave the house.

And my nanny, German,
Frau Teresa,

she used to put
Hitler's speeches on,

you know, on radio.

And there was something
about that voice,

just filled me with the will
to just get out there

and conquer my fears.
And Der Hindenburg.

She used to fly
right above my house.

The most incredible sight
I'd ever seen.

Bigger than a battleship!

Have you ever considered

that Adolf Hitler
and Der Hindenburg

are not ideal templates
for success?

You know, well,
inspiring nonetheless.

(GROANS)

LIDDY: Oh! There's Fielding.
We got him.

I know. I can see him
with my naked eye.

- He's right there.
- ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

LIDDY: He's heading to his car,
get ready to follow him.

HOWARD: I'm going to call
the Cubans.

Unit One to Unit Two,

the eagle has left the nest. Over.

(MACHO SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY
OVER RADIO)

HOWARD: Copy that, over.

These things are garbage, muchacho.

I spent every dime
that Bud gave us.

Oh! That's him, hold this.

- Yeah. (GROANS)
- (CAR ENGINE STARTS)

♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

- Not too close.
- I know.

- Speed up!
- Right.

- (CAR HORN HONKING)
- E. HOWARD HUNT: Oh, Jesus.

- (GROANS, YELLS)
- Shit! You okay?

Pain is a mental construct.

HOWARD:
Shrink's got a nice house.

LIDDY: What a job
this poor mope has.

Listening to pantywaists
like Ellsberg,

who whine about their mothers
all day.

(CRIES MOCKINGLY)
I'm so angry at my mom!

- (CHUCKLES, CRIES MOCKINGLY)
- I saw a psychiatrist.

Oh.

A couple of times.

My kids were in a car accident,
years ago.

My eldest, Lisa, she--

she banged her head
up pretty badly.

- Hmm.
- It...

affected her.

Well...

A man has got to take care
of his family.

All right. Uh, I'll stay here
and keep eyes on Fielding.

You head back, run point
on the Cubans

in the entry.
Any hang-ups, radio me.

Roger that.

Oh!

Thanks.

(CAR ENGINE STARTS)

♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(BOTH SPEAK SPANISH)

LIDDY: (IN ENGLISH) Heading
to the back door now.

We are a go. The patient
is with the doctor, over.

(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)

Uh, do not copy.
Uh, uh, uh... Wait a minute.

Repeat.

Eagle is in the nest. Over.

Do not copy. Repeat. Over.

I said, "The eagle is still
in the nest."

- (RADIO STATIC)
- (SPEAKS SPANISH)

(IN ENGLISH) I can't understand
you either, please.

(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)

I said the eagle
is in the goddamn nest!

The nest!

Press the button all the way in
and speak clearly. Don't shout.

(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)

Fuck!

♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

George? We've got a problem.

What kind of problem?

It's locked. We radioed you.

These walkie-talkies
are shit, man.

Hey!

- Do not blame the equipment!
- Okay. Okay.

Damn it.
It was supposed to be open.

- Any other way in?
- Well...

there's that.
But that one's locked, too.

Break the goddamn window.

(BOTH SPEAKING SPANISH)

- DE DIEGO: ¿Qué te pasó?
- MACHO: (IN ENGLISH, GROANS) My wrist!

- CUBANS: (SPEAKING SPANISH)
- DE DIEGO: (IN ENGLISH) Move, move, move.

- Shit, shit, shit!
- (CAR ENGINE STARTS)

♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

- Fielding's out of pocket!
- What?

- We have to get the boys out!
- Why didn't you radio me?

- Fellas? Can you hear me?
- HOWARD: That's why!

- Ow.
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Oh! There they are!

- Muchachos, vamos!
- CUBANS: Vamos, vamos, vamos!

CUBANS: No, no, no!
(SPEAKING SPANISH)

Okay, full debriefing.
Did we get the file?

There was no Ellsberg file.

Shit!

- You're sure? Nothing?
- Nada.

We went through every file
in that office, man.

We took Polaroids. Nada.

- Rosenberg, Goldberg, Grodberg.
- Pero Ellsberg, no.

Scheisse!

- (CHAMPAGNE BOTTLE POPPING)
- ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

- (ALL CHEER)
- So, we know the file was moved.

CUBANS: (SPEAKING SPANISH)

Bien hecho.

(IN ENGLISH)
What are we celebrating?

Well, dollars to donuts,
the file is in Fielding's house.

So to our next mission,
adelante!

CUBANS: Adelante!

- Viva Nixon!
- Viva Nixon!

- Viva Nixon!
- Viva Nixon!

LIDDY: Eduardo.
You need to see this.

- HOWARD: (SPEAKS SPANISH)
- LIDDY: Edward!

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Macho...

what happened?

We had a little trouble
with the lock

on the filing cabinet.

- ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- MACHO: It broke.

So we had to improvise.

(GRUNTS)

- DE DIEGO: Hey!
- (SPEAKS SPANISH)

LIDDY: (IN ENGLISH) You know,
the whole point

of the operation, Macho,
was for Fielding

to never know
that we were there.

George told us
to break the window!

- I didn't--
- Jesus, Gordon!

Who's Gordon?

You tore the place apart.

Why is all this shit
on the floor!

Oh, tranquilo! Tranquilo!
We come up with a plan.

We made a mess,
threw some pills around

to make it seem like junkies
were looking for drugs.

Where did you get the pills?

We broke into a doctor's office
down the hall.

May I ask a question?

Ay, caramba.

LIDDY: What kind
of a drug addict,

A, brings his own drugs
to a crime scene.

And B, scatters them
about the floor

and leaves them behind!

That's a fair point.
That's a fair point.

Hmm.

I know how important
those files were to you, boss.

We didn't want to let you down.

LIDDY: Gentlemen.

(HOWARD SIGHS)

Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!
(GRUNTS, GROANS)

God! (PANTS)

- (SIREN BLARING ON TV)
- HOWARD: I'm back.

- We bungled the whole thing.
- Howard?

HOWARD: It was a disaster.

This was my last chance,
it's-- it's over.

Yes. I'm-- I'm sorry to hear
that but--

Dot, I know you
don't like Gordon,

but we blew it.
It is over! It...

Maybe it's fate trying to--

Lisa is dropping out of college.

LISA HUNT: Christ,
I did not drop out!

Lisa?

Surprise.

What are you doing home?

LISA: I don't know,
I just decided

it wasn't a great way
to spend my limited time

on this planet,
listening to a bunch

of establishment tools.

Well, sounds like dropping
out to me.

See! I knew he was going
to say that.

- Honey. She's very upset.
- Yeah, well, so am I!

Does this mean that I can
s-- skip college, too?

- No.
- HOWARD: No!

- LISA: Shut up!
- We both had very bad days.

Papa tried to deliver
a very big project

for President Nixon,
which did not go well,

and you had whatever
difficulties you had.

Take tonight. Get some sleep.

In the morning,
I'll drive you back, pumpkin.

No! First of all,
to hell with Nixon!

And I'm not going back there

- you can't make me go back!
- Keep your voice down.

Why! Can Nixon hear me?

Try the breathing, sweetie.

- Okay.
- (DOROTHY SIGHS)

You've got this under control.
You don't need me.

♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

You can thank your lucky stars
the LAPD blamed it on a junkie.

Goddamn amateur night
with those Cubans.

And I am going to tell
that to-- to Krogh.

Those Cubans improvised
that whole junkie ruse!

- They saved our asses!
- Oh, hey, Doug.

Would you say this "black op"
is indicative

of the professionalism
and general competence

of your CIA?

HOWARD: Those men were betrayed
by this country

and yet, here they are,
putting their asses on the line

for it again and for zero pay!

Do you know anyone
from the FBI

doing this
kind of high-risk work for free?

Damn right you don't.

That's loyalty!
That's patriotism!

(PANTS)

Do not lecture me
on patriotism, friend.

- SECRETARY: You can go right in.
- Thank you.

And let the record show,
Gordon Liddy shits red,

- white, and blue.
- DEAN: Hiya, fellas.

- HOWARD: John! Uh...
- (DOOR CLOSING)

...uh, Gordon,
uh, this is, John Dean.

Have a seat.

S-- so, uh, waiting for Bud?

Oh, no. Bu-- (LAUGHS)
No. No, Bud's out.

Gentlemen, you're fired.

Congratulations, you're hired.

Liddy, you now work
for the Committee

to re-elect the President.

The President needs men
of action and your new mission

is to make sure he wins
this election.

Liddy, we'd like you
to be the Committee's

new chief counsel.

Oh.

Thank you, John.

I'm honored.

I hope Howard will be available
to advise.

I will indeed.

DEAN: Very nice.
You'll report to Jeb Magruder.

He's deputy head over there
and keep me briefed.

S... so, I'm clear, Bud--

The President doesn't think
he has the stomach

for bare-knuckle tactics.

Too much little old lady
in him.

- (LAUGHS)
- Yeah. (CHUCKLES)

DEAN: But your commitment,
your zeal--

Let's just say, you
impressed the right people.

So, uh, what are we talking
about here?

Espionage, sabotage, uh,
infiltration, disinformation,

electronic surveillance,
re-- recruiting

and planting moles, your various
and sundry dirty tricks.

Same shit they do
to us every election.

Work up a proposal
and budget and, uh,

- dazzle us.
- LIDDY: Uh, say, John,

when you say budget...

what size ballpark
are we playing in here?

How much do you think
you'll need?

Oh. I'd...

Hmm.

For the, uh, scope and, uh,
scale of what it is you're

envisioning, um, I'd say...

- a million dollars?
- (LIDDY CLEARS THROAT)

- Sure. Whatever you guys need.
- (DOOR CLOSING)

♪ ("THE BEST IS YET TO COME"
BY FRANK SINATRA PLAYING) ♪

- (LAUGHS)
- Sure.

♪ Out of the tree of life
I just picked me a plum ♪

(BOTH LAUGH)

♪ You came along ♪

♪ And everything's
Startin' to hum ♪

- What've we got?
- ♪ Still it's a... ♪

One of our cameras
was used in an op

for the White House.
They forgot to take the film out

of the camera
when they gave it back.

AGENT 1: What the fuck is this?

♪ The best is yet to come
And, babe, won't that be fine? ♪

♪ You think you've seen
The sun ♪

♪ But you ain't seen it shine ♪

♪ A-wait till the warm-up's
Underway ♪

♪ Wait till our lips have met ♪

♪ And wait till you see
That sunshine day ♪

♪ You ain't seen nothin' yet ♪

♪ The best is yet to come
And, babe, won't it be fine? ♪

♪ Best is yet to come
Come the day you're mine ♪

♪ Come the day you're mine ♪

♪ I'm gonna teach you to fly ♪

♪ We've only tasted the wine ♪

♪ We're gonna drain
The cup dry ♪

♪ Wait till your charms
Are right ♪

♪ For these arms to surround ♪

♪ You think
You've flown before ♪

♪ But, baby
You ain't left the ground ♪

♪ A-wait till you're locked
In my embrace ♪

♪ Wait till I draw you near ♪

♪ And wait till you see
That sunshine place ♪

♪ Ain't nothin' like it here ♪

♪ The best is yet to come
And, babe, won't it be fine? ♪

♪ The best is yet to come
Come the day you're mine ♪

♪ Come the day you're mine ♪

♪ And you're gonna be mine ♪

♪ (SONG CONCLUDES) ♪